Between 13 and 15
by Magister of the 31
Summary: What comes between 13 and 15? Why, Paru-sama, of course! KonokaXHaruna plus a mystery pairing. Warning: Here there be limes! Rated M for strong language, some violence and yuri situations. Read and review, please. Don't forget to visit the Between 13 and 15 forum for bonus material! At long last, Chapter 19 is finally up!
1. Burn After Burning

_(Hello and welcome to the first chapter of Between Thirteen and Fifteen. This is a Negima! fanfic. Practi bigi naru... disclaimer! Negima! and all related characters and stuff belong to Ken Akamatsu and are used without permission. I do not own any of the Negima characters. This is my first Negima! fanfic and I hope to create many more. So here's a list of stuff you might want to read about me and/or my writing style which might save you some time._

_Constructive criticism presented to me in a mature manner is always welcome. I may not always be able to reply to email and such in a timely manner so please be patient with me._

_I'm not as familiar with all of the Japanese terms, foods, traditions, culture, etc. as much as some other writers may be. I include certain Japanese words here and there when I can but please don't expect it all the time. I am not an otaku so if you have a suggestion and your goal is to help me enhance the quality of the story, then feel free to let me know about it (as per article #1) and I will take your suggestion under consideration._

_I don't fret about *exactly* where in the actual Negima!storyline/timeline my stories fall so if you can't enjoy a story unless it's so canon that it could practically be an official period, then perhaps my stories are not for you. Reading the story should reveal who has a pactio and who doesn't, who knows about magic and who doesn't, etc._

_I see the stories in my head (hidden just behind the voices) as if they are taking place on an anime screen or a manga page so sometimes a door being opened is going to be described "a door opens". My hat is off to those talented writers who are blessed with the ability to be descriptive even with mundane actions. I'm a dialogue person myself. No one ever mastered a craft without making some mistakes along the way so please take care of me. If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal._

_I'm not a plagiarist so if a scene or gag is similar to some other scene or gag in someone else's fanfic, rest assured that it's purely coincidental. I don't read very many other fics and sometimes brilliant minds think alike._

_There is a possibility that I may not be able to add new chapters in the timeliest of fashions. Life has a way of getting in the way of leisure time. Patience is appreciated. Chapters will vary in length depending on whether or not I feel that I accomplished what I wished to accomplish in that chapter. I want this entire story out of my head and up here for Negima! fans to read so please believe me when I say that new installments are always in progress._

_If you are a superfan of Negi Springfield himself, I've got some bad news for you. I view him as a necessary evil and my stories may mention him on occasion but will rarely feature him as a supporting or even a main character. What I'm trying to say is this: don't hold your breath waiting for him to show up unless the story is about him._

_If you wish to write your own tribute spinoff fanfic, feel free to do so but I would appreciate it if you could give me a heads-up first and, if you're feeling particularly generous, an inspirational credit would be awesome.)_

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><p>"I-I'm only saying that it's inappropriate to engage in such a display in the halls, Ojou-sama."<p>

A red-faced Setsuna was walking double time down the corridor of the Mahora Academy dorms as Konoka picked up the pace in order to keep up with her close friend. Classes for the day had come to an end and as it was particularly humid out, it was a perfect day to stay inside, turn on the A/C and hold a low key study party at Konoka, Negi and Asuna's room.

"But Secchan, kissing isn't that big of a deal!" replied Konoka. "It's not as if I'm going to wrestle you to the floor and ravish you."

"R-ravish... me?" Setsuna's face turned beet red as she pictured a yukata clad Konoka taking physical liberties with Setsuna upon a bed of cherry blossom petals in a scene right out of one of Haruna's trashy doujinshis – which Setsuna would never bother flipping through, naturally. Her warrior's instinct took over as her daydream had caused her to slow down enough to where Konoka would be able to latch onto her and administer the aforementioned kiss. Slapping herself to return to reality, she returned to her brisk pace and kept her distance from Konoka."Dwah! O-of course not, Ojou-sama! I am unworthy to receive your affections – but if it is your wish to bestow them upon me, can't you wait until we reach a more private place first?"

Konoka held her fingertips to her lips and gasped jokingly.

"Goodness, Secchan! You can't wait for me to reach for your more private places first? Now who's being inappropriate? I'm telling grandpa on you." Fellow 3-A classmates Natsumi and Chizuru happened to pass by them in the hallway at the precise moment that Konoka had repeated Setsuna's words incorrectly. Natsumi did a double take and had frozen in place but Chizuru placed an arm around her roommate and helped her continue walking.

"Now, now, Natsumi-chan - it's just nature's way," said Chizuru.

Setsuna's eyes grew to the size of saucers as sheets of tears streamed down her face at Konoka's teasing.

"OOOOOH! Th-th-th-that isn't even close to what I said! PLEASE stop twisting my words, Ojou-sama! A-and how far does this corridor stretch, anyway? GACK! You know what? I think I'll shut up now."

"So then the juice box says 'Well, it had three holes but I only needed one!'" said Asuna. The members of the Library Exploration Club, who were listening to Asuna tell a joke, were visibly underwhelmed by her punchline delivery. Nodoka was the first to break the silence.

"I'm... sure that was very funny to people who like to wait that long for a punchline like that."

"I don't get it." replied Yue, who was eager to hear Asuna's joke about a juice box - only to be disappointed by it.

"You're not very good at telling jokes, are you, Asuna?" asked Haruna. "I can lend you some joke books if you want."

"Whaaat? I am so a good joke teller." retorted Asuna. "But if that didn't do it for you, how about this? There once was a man from Hokkaido..."

Just then, a voice rang out from behind Asuna.

"You guys; c'mere a sec." It was Konoka who had beckoned her friends to come closer. Asuna turned her attention away from the Library Three to her roommate.

"What's up, Konoka?" asked Asuna.

"Asuna, I need to show something to Setsuna but I need your help," said Konoka. "Yours too, guys." Asuna quizzically raised an eyebrow at the vague request.

"...Okay? What is it that you need us to do?"

Konoka approached Asuna and placed her hands on her shoulders, turning her head to face Setsuna.

"Are you watching Secchan?" asked Konoka. "See, I can kiss Asuna…chu!" and with that sound effect, Konoka gave Asuna a peck on the lips.

Haruna's ahoge twitched at the sight.

Asuna loved Konoka like a sister so she wasn't angry (and neither the Headmaster nor Takahata-sensei had been watching) but she did wish that the chocolate-haired girl would stick to Setsuna if she wanted to kiss a girl. Asuna feigned shame in an attempt to raise her comedic stock.

"Sheesh, Konoka," bemoaned Asuna. "Not even dinner and a movie first? I feel so cheap."

Konoka took a step in Nodoka's direction.

And Honya-chan… chu." Konoka said as she placed an identical peck on Nodoka's lips. Nodoka blushed slightly as she recalled that her only other kisses had been with Negi. Since this was just a peck she couldn't tell for sure but Konoka's lips felt every bit as soft as Negi's.

Twitch twitch.

"And Yue-chan…chu." Yue, whose face was not quite as flushed as Nodoka's, shut her eyes and braced herself rather than protest or avoid Konoka's kiss. It was just Konoka after all and, having Haruna for a friend, Yue had been subjected to far worse.

Twitch twitch twitch.

Haruna pushed her glasses higher up on the bridge of her nose and grinned devilishly. As she was the next closest after Yue, she closed her eyes and puckered her lips for Konoka. The others may not have been as keen on girl/girl kisses but she was the one and only Paru-sama; She Who Never Let An Opportunity Pass Her By. She contemplated employing some tongue action but since Setsuna was nearby, she decided against it.

"And…"

Konoka was about to take a step toward Haruna but in the time it took Konoka to shed a massive sweatdrop, she turned on her heel to face Setsuna once more.

"…A-and there you have it... so you see….there's nothing to it. Now you try." said Konoka with a nervous grin.

Haruna faceplanted onto the floor, cracking a hole in the floorboards. Sporting an X bandage on her head, she leapt to her feet and stood before Konoka; her face a shade of crimson made from one part OMG and two parts WTF.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOOOOOA! What the HELL was THAT about, Konoka?" screamed the manga-ka. Setsuna was continually astonished at the strong chi which emanated from Haruna when she was passionate about something and since Setsuna was successful at training Asuna in combat, she pictured what it would be like to teach the manga artist to harness and channel that chi. At any rate, she was somewhat glad of this new commotion since she didn't fancy the idea of practice-kissing Asuna and the others.

A wide-eyed Konoka slowly turned to face Haruna, looking as innocent as a baby koala.

"Hmm?"

"Don't you 'Hmm?' me, Konoka Konoe!" shouted Haruna as she waved a pair of clenched fists in the air. "You slighted me just now! You can kiss Asuna, Nodoka and Yue but not your Friendly Neighborhood Paru-sama? What's up with that?" Nodoka shot Yue a glance and gently placed a hand on Haruna's right arm. This was a routine "pre-restraint" just in case things got out of hand. Yue knew the drill and nodded, doing the same to Haruna's left arm. Haruna shooed away each attempt Nodoka and Yue made to hold her (though with her eyes still fixed on Konoka) but they kept trying to hold her regardless.

"Oh, um, did youuuuu... _want_ me to kiss you, Paru?"

"Konoka, this isn't about a kiss _I_ wanted; it's about a kiss _you_ DIDN'T want! "

"I suppose that was kind of rude of me, wasn't it? Ah ha haaaaa... Ah ha." Konoka said as she smiled with her eyes closed and scratched her head nervously.

"I happen to know Nodoka and Yue would totally kiss me if they swung that way." stated Haruna confidently. Nodoka and Yue, certain that Haruna's gaze was still fixed upon Konoka, shook their heads simultaneously and lip synched the word "no" in disagreement with Haruna's assessment. "Setsuna wouldn't actively try to kiss anybody so she doesn't count - and Asuna and I kiss for at least an hour each night so I have it on good authority that I am a VERY kissable girl!"

Asuna gave Haruna's cranium a thunderous overhead smack with her harisen and adding a second X bandage to Haruna's head.

"Tell another lie about me and I'll smack you to America with the rest of the bigmouthed perverts!" Both Nodoka and Yue were disappointed to learn that it was a lie since a lesbian Asuna would have meant one less rival for Negi-sensei's heart.

"So? I'm waiting for an explanation, Konoka? Why... wouldn't... you... want... to... kiss... me?"

"Ojou-sama..." Setsuna interrupted, wanting to know if Konoka wished for her to intervene and handle the situation. Konoka took it as an honor that her best friend was so willing to look out for her but in very tame cases such as this, the offer was more of an insult to Konoka's diplomatic skills.

"It's okay, Secchan; I've got this." replied Konoka with a hint of irritation in her tone."Hmm, let me see... How do I put this?" Konoka closed her eyes and held her chin as she was lost deeply in thought; trying to find the right words. "You kind of remind me of a boy, Paru."

Haruna collapsed backward with a pratfall.

"Oh, _this_ is going to end well." stated Yue. Haruna performed a panty-flashing kip up to get to her feet this time. Setsuna flinched at the fluid yet aggressive movement and prepared herself mentally and physically to be on guard. Haruna's eyes were a pair of spirals behind her specs and she now bore three X bandages to her credit.

_Triple X_, thought Nodoka.

"A B-B-BOY?" shouted Haruna. "How many boys do you know that have THESE? Huh? Did you maybe miss these?" Haruna ripped opened her blouse and flashed her bra at Konoka which prompted Nodoka and Yue to tackle their dear yet shameless and sometimes idiotic friend and cover her up. With lightning speed, Setsuna reached out in front of Konoka and snatched one of Haruna's buttons out of the air (launched from when she tore her blouse open) which would have hit Konoka's left eye.

"Saotome-san!" Setsuna said sternly. "You can indulge in all the foolish behavior that you want but don't endanger Ojou-sama in the process! This button of yours almost injured her."

"If her eyes don't see, one eye is enough," remarked Haruna. "But if you want to see a girl that looks like a boy..." Haruna was looking up and down at Setsuna as she spoke.

"And if _you_ want to see a corpse that looks like a manga-ka, you'll finish that sentence, Saotome-san." said Setsuna, drumming her fingers upon Yuunagi's case strap.

Konoka peeked out from behind Setsuna's shoulder.

"I never said that you _looked_ like a boy, Paru," said Konoka. "I meant that you act like a boy. You know... a tomboy."

Haruna turned ghost white as dozens of small kanji characters for the word "tomboy" circled around her head. Nodoka gasped while Yue brought her palm to her head, looking very disappointed in Konoka's choice of words. Konoka had never seen Haruna stunned speechless before and by so simple a word. Setsuna placed herself between Konoka and Haruna.

"Saotome-san, I think it would be for the best if you were to be elsewhere right now."

Haruna's face turned pink and her eyes welled up with tears as she scowled at Konoka.

"..."

Haruna struggled for the words but all that she could get past the lump that formed in her throat was a hiss. Gnashing her teeth and growling like a bear, Haruna turned and ran off at a speed normally expected of Asuna.

"Okay, was I seeing things just now or was Haruna actually crying human tears?" asked Asuna. Nodoka approached Konoka with a frown. Konoka had never seen Nodoka frown at her before and she felt like a small child about to be scolded for breaking a family heirloom.

"What was that reaction about?" asked Konoka. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Konoka, didn't you know that it makes Haruna upset to be called a tomboy?" asked Nodoka. "The few guys that she liked who weren't outright intimidated by her turned her down, telling her that she was too much of a tomboy for their taste."

"You wouldn't know it by looking at her but deep down Haruna does have a sensitive side." stated Yue, looking mostly unfazed by the events. "Not many things set it off but the tomboy thing? It really gets under her skin. Furthermore..." Yue looked down the hallway to see if Haruna was within earshot. "and please don't tell her that I told you this... she really respects you. Well, as much as someone like Haruna can respect a non-Haruna person... so hearing that from you was like a double whammy. Quite frankly, I was surprised to hear you say it."

"Hey. what if I had been the one to call her a tomboy?" asked Asuna as she placed a finger to her chin, wondering how much Haruna valued her opinion. Everyone gave her the same look that told her if she had called Haruna a tomboy she'd be the pot calling the kettle black. Asuna frowned and blushed as she read their look. "T...To hell with all of you! I-I mean... no, screw it; my original statement still stands!" she shouted as she went inside her dorm and slammed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry, I never knew about any of that," said Konoka. "Now I feel awful. Do I go apologize right now or do I give her some time or what?" Konoka sheepishly bit her thumbnail.

"Um, Konoka," said Nodoka, "hearing you ask that – and hearing you call Haruna a tomboy – makes me wonder. You really haven't spent much one-on-one time with Haruna, have you? Is there a reason why you usually only talk with her when all four of us are together?"

_Because Ojou-sama has good taste_, thought Setsuna.

"Um, I... hadn't really... that is..." Konoka struggled for the words she needed to form some kind of defense. Yue saw Konoka squirm and intervened to let her off the hook.

"Nodoka, Haruna already put Konoka on the spot earlier so let's not do the same. To answer your question, Konoka, I would give her some space. She's inconsolable for a little while but she bounces back from sadness pretty quickly. Just keep in mind that you made her cry which means that she'll want her pound of flesh. Either way, we should probably call off the party today. The mood's changed com...plete..ly-heeheehee!" Yue uncharacteristically sputtered and burst into a gigglefit. The other girls were baffled as they watched their friend rub tears of laughter from her eyes.

"I get it now; three holes but she only needed one! Ha ha ha ha ha! 'Juice box'! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

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><p><em>(Before you write me an email to remind me that Konoka was a member of the Library Exploration Club even before Yue joined, I'm well aware of that fact. In this story, Konoka did not know about Haruna's rejections andor dislike of the tomboy label and Nodoka &Yue DID probably because Haruna had shared this with Nodoka & Yue when they spent time with her during one-on-one outings. Maybe Konoka, for one reason or another, was probably friendlier with Miyazaki during the pre-Yue period and Haruna was more like the friend-of-a-friend that is a friend by association. Or maybe Haruna felt insecure about the subject of rejections by boys and could only open up about it with one friend but not all of them at the same time for fear of being mocked or picked on. You've had friends. You know the deal._

_Also, Yue's delayed reaction to Asuna's joke was not my way of suggesting that she is slow upstairs. I'd have to be slow upstairs myself to suggest that. I just wanted a way of closing up the chapter on a humorous note. Plus I just wanted to have Yue laugh because she is so cute when she laughs. It'll all work itself out; you'll see.)_


	2. Girl Fright

Days passed and not only did Haruna stop talking to Konoka – she refused to look in her direction. In class, at Chao Bao Zi – wherever they happened to cross paths, Haruna would simply turn her head or leave the vicinity altogether. Negi, who was perpetually busy with his teaching duties and after school training, sensed that something was amiss but believed that Asuna or one of his other students would bring the matter to his attention should the situation warrant his intervention.

When the Library Exploration Club would plan excursions to Library Island, Haruna would not attend if Konoka had already RSVPed and only attend those where Konoka could not. Nodoka and Yue decided to act as if nothing happened when exploring with Haruna or Konoka, not bringing one up in conversation when the other was around. If Haruna missed Konoka, she never let on to her roomies that she did, which was odd since Haruna never passed up a chance at bellyaching to her fellow club members.

As the days turned into weeks, Konoka found herself becoming more forlorn and sincerely wished to get back on Haruna's good side. It was not unlike what she went through when Setsuna used to give her the cold shoulder in order to protect her from a distance. Nodoka and Yue tried to talk some sense into Haruna but were threatened with acts of violence if they didn't drop the subject. Setsuna didn't care a great deal for Haruna – their personalities were just too different - but she could see the negative effect that the avoidance was having on Konoka.

The two friends were chilling out in Konoka's dorm. The sun had set over an hour ago and the evening sky was so clear that every star in the cosmos was out enjoying a nodate. Setsuna was still dressed in her school uniform while Konoka was the picture of comfort in her sleepwear. It was too warm for winter jammies so Konoka frolicked about in her sleeveless nightgown. She had gone all out for dinner, having made a fabulous kaiseki. Asuna had been gone for most of the evening so rather than let the food grow cold, they ate in her absence. Setsuna, who was usually not prone to overindulgence, made an exception for Konoka's home cooking. In her somewhat darker fantasies, Setsuna envisioned Konoka opening her own restaurant which would become so successful that it would acquire Chao Bao Zi.

"Secchan, am I a bad friend?" asked Konoka as she looked over her shoulder at Setsuna who was sitting yoga style on the carpet playing a video game on her laptop.

"Not at all, Ojou-sama," said Setsuna. "There is no one else in whose company I would rather be." Setsuna blushed slightly as she bowed to her friend. Konoka smiled sweetly at Setsuna's kind reply but followed with a sigh as she adjusted the left shoulder strap of her nightgown.

"Honya-chan was right, Secchan," said Konoka. "I've never spent time alone with Haruna."

"It's only my opinion but I wouldn't have chosen to spend time alone with her, either," said Setsuna. "A girl like Saotome-san would certainly eat your pure soul."

"She's not as demonic as you make her out to be, Secchan." Konoka fetched two juice boxes from the refrigerator and tossed one to Setsuna who caught it effortlessly. "She's really a very nice person. You like Yue and Nodoka, don't you? Well, would they befriend someone as bad as the person you think she is? I think if you gave her a chance, you'd see her good qualities the way we have." Setsuna shrugged in response to Konoka's question. She paused her game and examined each of the box's sides as she removed the small straw affixed to the back.

"I'm surprised that you even have these, Ojou-sama," said Setsuna. "Doesn't Yue polish these off when she visits?" Konoka shook her head with a grin.

"You underestimate me, Secchan," said Konoka. "I'm cagier than you think. I buy these _because_ Yue won't drink them. These are just plain old cherry juice. Yue finds this flavor to be dull and so she rarely helps herself to any. You should have seen the flavor of juice she brought with her the other day: crab, tiger root and almond. Bleuuugh!" Konoka scrunched her eyes shut, stuck her tongue out and shook her head rapidly in disgust. Setsuna chuckled at the display.

"Pardon me for asking, Ojou-sama," said Setsuna as she took a sip of her juice, "but if you find Saotome-san to be so delightful, what was your reason for not spending time alone with her?"

"Well," said Konoka, "This is gonna sound stupid... but back when Nodoka first introduced me to her, I kept my distance because I was afraid that she was a lesbian and that she'd try to kiss me."

Setsuna hacked and coughed up some cherry juice due to the last mouthful suddenly having gone down the wrong pipe. Did Konoka, in fact, live in fear of being accosted by someone of the same sex?

"Ah!" shouted Konoka. "Secchan! The carpet! Red colored foods stain carpets and they're almost impossible to get out!" Konoka grabbed a dish towel along with a can of spray-on carpet cleaner from the cabinets under the sink and then dashed over to where Setsuna was sitting. She got on her hands and knees and began to treat the juice-soaked areas with a generous spritzing. Setsuna had quelled her cough but saw something which made her glad she didn't take a second sip. Due to Konoka's horizontal position, the neckline of her nightgown had drooped low enough to where Setsuna had a magnificent view of Konoka's braless breasts which jiggled as she scrubbed away at the carpet. Setsuna blushed and quickly turned her head away from Konoka's hypnotic dancing mammaries but somehow her eyes found themselves drawn back to them. They weren't large but they didn't have to be; they were Konoka's and that was enough to make them divine. They looked so soft and probably felt even softer. They spoke a hidden language; spoken from boob to eye since the dawn of mankind and womankind which said 'Here I am'. So sinful and yet so heavenly. So close and yet so far. Konoka, who had been too busy cleaning the stain from the carpet to notice the free show she was giving her best friend, inspected her handiwork.

"Secchan, I can see your juice is coming out."

Setsuna shrieked, drawing her legs together so quickly her thighs clapped.

"I'M SO SORRY!" blurted Setsuna. "I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!"

"It's okay," said Konoka, "only please try not to do it again. Besides, I bet it tastes better straight from the box than trying to suck it up through the carpet."

She was sure that Konoka knew that she waxed her bikini area so this didn't make much sense to her. "O-Ojou-sama! Th-th-th-th-that is so bold! A-Anyway, I beg you to forgive me!"

Setsuna got to her hands and knees and bowed repeatedly. She placed her right hand under her skirt and felt between her legs over her bike shorts to inspect the damage which Konoka claimed to have spotted. To her surprise, she made two discoveries: there was no discernible seepage and Konoka had knelt behind her and lifted her skirt.

"Don't move, Secchan." said Konoka. Setsuna's skirt was completely lifted inside out and it rested on her back. Konoka's fingers found the waistband of Setsuna's bike shorts and she tugged them down to her knees, exposing her bodyguard's panty clad backside. Setsuna trembled, wondering what on earth Konoka was looking for back there.

"Ah-h-h-h, O-j-o-u-s-a-m-a? W-W-W-What..." Konoka gave Setsuna's rump a firm slap and leaned her upper body atop Setsuna's back. Her arms wrapped around Setsuna's midsection and held her tightly.

"Who is this Ojou-sama? I'm Takashi, the local molester. Mua ha ha ha... You're a sexy one... I'm going to give it to you good and hard!" Konoka spoke in a raspy creepy molester voice which was as hysterical as it was adorable. Setsuna was either unable to move or unwilling to move but she didn't particularly feel the urge to struggle too much. Konoka lifted her nightgown up to her waist and ground her pelvis into Setsuna's backside slowly and repeatedly, grunting like an animal. "Yeah, you like this, don'tcha, bitch?" asked the chocolate haired pseudo-sex offender in that same fabricated voice. A spiral-eyed Setsuna squeaked and whimpered from Konoka grinding against her so lasciviously; their sexes a mere two thin layers of cotton apart. This was inappropriate beyond description and yet she was instructed not to move so what could she do? If she wasn't sporting moisture earlier, there was little doubt in her mind that she was sporting some now. Each upward and downward stroke brought her kettle closer to the boiling point.

"O-Ojou-sama!" gasped Setsuna. "I-I'm going to-"

"_I'm_ going to hurl," said a voice which neither girl thought came from the other.

Both girls looked up and saw a sourfaced Asuna standing behind them with her arms folded. She couldn't have wordlessly illustrated her displeasure any more if she had been tapping her foot.

"Ah ha ha haaaaa... Hi, Asuna." A blushing Konoka drew Setsuna's skirt back down

"Hi yourself, Konoka. You know what you have to do now, don't you?"

Konoka sighed and plodded over to her dresser where she kept her purse. "Fiiiiine. I'll go put another 100 yen in the Don't Jar, warden Kagurazaka." The stunned Setsuna flopped tummy first to the floor as she caught her breath. For generations, the Shinmei-ryu school has taught unparalleled armed and unarmed combat techniques to defend against every kind of attack— every kind, that is, except for the near naked pelvic thrusts of a 14 year old girl.

"Maybe when I have the entire Konoe family fortune in that jar, you'll learn that other people live here; people who don't want to come home to a skinship moment. Don't you know that Negi – who **does** own a set of keys to this room in case you've forgotten – is obligated to report any and all improprieties between students to the Headmaster?" Asuna trailed off with a sigh and turned to the more reasonable of the two. "Setsuna, you should really learn how to say no to this goofball."

"_Ablahblahblahblahblahblah_," said Setsuna incoherently as drool trailed down the side of her mouth. Konoka stuck her tongue out at Asuna as she tossed her coin into the third full jar. _I'm incorrigible_, she thought, alarmed at the enormity of her collected fines.

"Next time, put one of Negi's neckties on the doorknob or— oh, hey, here's an idea: GO DRY HUMP EACH OTHER AT MANA'S!" Both Konoka's and Setsuna's hair whipped in the shockwave of Asuna's shouting. "Here I am, nicest roomie in the world, plotting with Yue and Nodoka about how to patch things up between Haruna and yourself and what happens? You go and turn our dorm into an episode of The R Word."

"You mean The L Word, Asuna." said Setsuna, as she pulled up her bike shorts.

"Eh?"

"The show; it's called The L Word."

"What did I say?"

"The R Word."

"Learry?"

Konoka and Setsuna groaned simultaneously and dropped their upper bodies on the kitchen counter.

"Asuna, you were saying something about Haruna?" Konoka asked weakly.

"OH COME ONNNNNN! That was funnyyyy!" decreed Asuna. "Anyway... using state of the art technology, Yue, Nodoka and I have devised a clever scheme to keep Haruna from running away from you long enough to talk some sense into her." Konoka perked up at that news.

"Oh?" Asuna nodded and tossed Konoka a small shiny object which she caught. Konoka examined the object which was a small silver key. "What does this key unlock?" she asked.

* * *

><p>In her own room, Haruna yawned loudly as she awoke from her lengthy mid-day nap, stretching both arms above her head but only her left arm was willing to cooperate. Perhaps she fell asleep on it. Or perhaps it was the pair of handcuffs attached to her right wrist which bound her to her five-drawer steel file cabinet.<p>

"Oh, _what_ the f–"

* * *

><p>"Asuna, I could kiss you!" declared Konoka, walking toward Asuna with open arms.<p>

"Only if you've got 100 yen."

"What are you; a prostitute now?" Asuna shook her head and pointed to the Don't Jar.

"Ohhhhhhh," said Konoka. "Never mind." _Either I'll have to cut down on the bad behavior_, thought Konoka, _or I'll have to ask Daddy for an advance on my allowance._ "So do you think Haruna will forgive me?"

"Either she forgives you or she'll have to take a leak in her file cabinet..."

"Under 'P'." said Setsuna. "Is that what you were going to say, Asuna?"

"Nngh! That's not nice, Setsuna. Stepping on my punchlines like that." Asuna sat on the floor and sulked.

"What do you think, Secchan?" asked Konoka. "If you were Haruna, would you forgive me?"

"If I were Saotome-san," said Setsuna, "I wouldn't forgive _myself._"

Asuna stifled a snicker, not wanting to laugh at witty remarks which were funnier than her own.

"Seccha-a-a-a-an, come on," said Konoka. "I'm serious."

"I cannot think of a person more deserving of a second chance," said Setsuna. "If Saotome-san has a brain in her skull — and I have my doubts about that — she should have come to the conclusion that you had no malice in your heart when you insulted her. I think that there's a very good chance she'll come around."

Konoka smiled warmly and clamped a hug around Setsuna.

"Thank you, Secchan!" said Konoka. "And thank you, Asuna. You're all so helpful to me. Wish me luck!"

Singing merrily, Konoka dashed out into the hallway, slamming the door behind her.

"AH! Ojou-sama!" shouted Setsuna. "You should wear a robe over your nightgown!" The swordswoman's words went unheard as Konoka vanished. _Or at least put on a bra_, thought Setsuna.

"You like this, don'tcha, bitch?" Asuna asked, snorting with suppressed laughter.

Setsuna turned around to see that Asuna was holding her laptop open - which she had set aside during her coughing fit – for Setsuna to see. On the screen was a file list with a video folder open. It listed Seasons 1 through 6 of The L Word.

Setsuna swiftly snatched her laptop back from the giggling redhead.

"I could grow to strongly dislike you, Asuna Kagurazaka."

_(The TV show The L Word has aired in Japan but it aired there in our world's 2008 and premiered in the states in 2004— both of which are ahead of the Negimaverse's year if memory serves. Please overlook that for the sake of the gag.)_


	3. You Will Meet A Tall Dark Mangaka

Haruna Saotome sat up in her bed and grinned a casino dealer's grin as she stared at the couch behind which both of her roommates hid. Her eyes possessed a gleam that was so intense that one would have to believe it was capable of burning a hole in the upholstery. Yue held a Mahora athletics department fielding practice cricket bat firmly in her grasp while Nodoka held one of Haruna's thick wooden T-squares. The impromptu weapons were unnecessary since Haruna's current range was rather limited but one can never be too cautious.

"Okay, guys, it's time that we put this situation into perspective. It's been ten minutes since I woke up handcuffed to my filing cabinet, you haven't taken any photos of me, you haven't sexually assaulted me... more's the pity... you haven't killed me, you haven't sent a ransom note to my parents and you haven't said a word to me. Furthermore, during my slumber, my artifact card has been strategically relocated so that it's out of reach and I am now officially... rrrreally, really angry. You are two very gifted junior high school students with some really neat magical books and a bright future ahead of you while _I_ happen to be **a vengeful goddess of freaking war.**"

Nodoka nervously ground her teeth while Yue privately made her peace with Kami-sama, thankful that she had gone to the bathroom before being subjected to Haruna's demon voice. Neither Yue nor Nodoka wanted to be near Haruna right now but they had to be sure that she didn't seriously injure herself in a freak accident or somehow start a fire while tethered to the file cabinet. Konoka was supposed to have been at their dorm by the time Haruna awoke but for some reason she was running late. Once Konoka arrived with the handcuff key, they could take their leave knowing that the goddess of war was in good hands.

"My wrath is breathtaking, both figuratively and literally," pontificated Haruna, "and with this latest caper of yours, I'd say that you've earned yourselves a great big juicy chunk of it. Yet, in spite of your transgressions, I'm _still_ willing to offer you a chance at redemption. You let me out of these cuffs in the next.. oh, say, sixty seconds... and not only will I promise to be merciful in the application of my vengeance but I'll also promise to be swift about it. I know that you two are blessed with vivid imaginations so I don't need to go into the details of what life will be like around here if you have prolonged sentences hanging over your heads. Given the circumstances, I believe that I'm being more than fair in presenting this offer to you. Thank your Paru-sama for her generosity, ladies."

"Tha_mmph!_" said Nodoka. Yue clamped her hand over Nodoka's mouth to keep her from falling prey to Haruna's coercion tactics.

"Don't do it, Nodoka!" Yue whispered. "You're only making her stronger by buying into her rhetoric." Haruna's hearing was second only to Asakura's so she was getting all of this.

"But it sounds like a good deal, Yue!" whispered Nodoka. "Let's take it and let her out of the cuffs! I'm scared! Haruna draws spiders really well... SPIDERS, YUE!"

"Sh-h-h-h! Whispers only! Asuna has the only key and she's giving it to Konoka right now, remember? Don't you see that Haruna's using fear to try and divide us? If _you_ turn state's evidence now, _I'll_ be the one receiving the lion's share of the payback! Is that how little our friendship means to you?"

"Spiders in my bed, spiders in my food, spiders in the toilet..." Yue saw the spirals in Nodoka's eyes and knew that it was only a matter of time before the bookstore crumbled. She paintbrushed Nodoka's face with some slaps but to no avail.

"Nodoka Miyazaki, don't you _dare_ flake out on me now! We're almost at the finish line! Eyes on the prize!"

"Eyes... Yue, do you have four pairs of eyes, eight furry legs and the ability to spin webs?"

"Not really, no. Why do you ask?" replied Yue, who feared the worst from this strange question.

"Then forgive me!" Nodoka raised the T-square overhead and swung it downward over Yue who blocked the attack with her cricket bat. Nodoka stood up from her hiding place after her attack and kept Yue pinned down with additional swings.

"What are you doing? Stop it! Please get back down!" begged Yue.

"ASYLUM, PARU-SAMA! I BEG FOR ASYLUM! YUE MADE ME DO THIS!" pleaded Nodoka, her eyes turing into a pair of tear fountains.

"YOU JUDAS!" shouted Yue, swinging her cricket bat at Nodoka and starting an unorthodox kendo match.

"Whoa! Hey! Stop fighting, guys," shouted Haruna, "you'll damage my T-square!"

A trio of knocks came from the door and the kendo girls ran to the door to open it and let Konoka in. Haruna had been too worked up over tormenting her captors to correctly guess why she had been handcuffed by her roomies in the first place but the knock on othe door at this time of night cleared it all up.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh. Well played, Yue; Nodoka," said Haruna. "You've both earned the coveted Paru-sama Crazy Like A Fox Award for your efforts. A pity they're only awarded posthumously."

"Nodoka, look who's here; it's Konoka!" beamed Yue. "We weren't expecting to see you here!"

"Ah! Konoka," blurted Nodoka awkwardly, "what an unexpected surprise! Yue and I were going to pay Asuna a visit now. How funny is that? Help yourself to some snacks. Bye!"

Yue stood on her tiptoes and whispered into Konoka's left ear.

"If we live through this, you owe us _big_ time." said Yue. Nodoka shrieked as Yue struck her on the backside with her bat as hard as she could.

"Bye, guys! Hurry back." Haruna waved to her roomies.

The door shut behind them and Konoka was now alone with Haruna for the first time.

"We do have good friends, don't we?" asked Haruna. "To stick their necks out for you in the face of certain doom… it's enough to make you cry. Where do you suppose _they_ got a pair of police issue nickel handcuffs? Evangeline? Asakura? Satsuki? Just kidding about Satsuki."

Konoka slowly approached the bed where Haruna sat. Everything rode on this one moment which had been a long time coming. Her heart pounded as she stepped closer to her captive friend, closer than she had been able to get in weeks. The manga-ka was dressed in a salmon pink long sleeve button down shirt which was tied into a knot just under her breasts and a pair of faded blue jean shorts.

"Hey."

"Good evening, Konoka. I'm looking for a key. Have you by any chance been outfitted with one?" Konoka fiddled with the key in her right hand before holding it between her thumb and index finger. She showed it to Haruna and stepped closer but remained out of reach.

"Haruna, I have something I'd like to say to you and I'd appreciate it if you'd listen to it."

"Very well; unlock these cuffs and I'll listen to you."

"Y-You won't run away?"

"I repeat: unlock these cuffs and I'll listen to you. How can I listen to you if I run away? And as late as it is, where would I go?"

"Well... all right. I trust you." Konoka approached Haruna who held her tethered hand out palm side down for Konoka to free it. The key sank into the keyhole effortlessly and with a single turn, the cuff popped open. Haruna rubbed her wrist and smiled back at Konoka.

"Thanks. See? I haven't run anywhere. Now to fulfill my end of the bargain. I'm all ears." Haruna crossed her long legs and grinned mildly.

"Thank you. When I was a little girl and lived on Daddy's estate in Kyoto, I had no friends at all. The only people around me were adults who told me to wash my hands, stay out of the mud and eat my vegetables. When Secchan came into my life, I learned just how wonderful a friend could be and I thank Kami-sama every day for bringing her to me. Now that I'm older and enrolled here at Mahora, I'm blessed with lots of friends and I'm thankful for all of them - and when we graduate from here, I can promise you that you're not going to find a weepier girl than myself - but I've never forgotten what it was like to have none. It was so lonely not having anyone my own age to talk with and play with. Did you know that I still have every toy that I ever shared with Secchan stashed away in storage? They would never have had the sentimental value that they do if I hadn't shared them with someone else. Each friendship is a treasure greater than gold for which I am very grateful... but, somewhere along the way, I let one of my treasures get dusty with neglect. It was from that neglect that I said something to a friend which I shouldn't have." She sat on the bed next to Haruna and hugged her gently. Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks as she held Haruna. "What I said to you last month—I was stupid and I'm really, REALLY sorry that I hurt you. Please forgive me. I've been less than a good friend to you but if you give me another chance I promise to be a better one. Please?"

"Mmmm... Okay."

Konoka blinked the tears from her eyes, stunned by Haruna's answer. She withdrew from the hug and placed her hands on Haruna's upper arms. "Eh? You mean it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Just like that?"

"Uh-huh. Don't get me wrong; I was pretty hurt by what you said but I've been over it for about a week and a half now. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't give you a hard time?" Haruna gave Konoka a wink, a smile and a thumbs-up.

"A considerate one!" wept Konoka as she produced a hammer out of thin air and conked Haruna on the head. "I agonized for weeks about how I was going to make this up to you or if it would even work and you've forgotten about it for a week and a half?"

"Who's forgotten? I may have forgiven you but forgetting takes a little more effort on your part." Haruna pushed her glasses higher up on the bridge of her nose. "I think we both know what you can do to make it up to me."

"Ah, right... a kiss." Konoka blushed slightly and tapped her fingers together, the hammer having vanished a moment ago. "I know that I choked the first time around but I'm ready now."

"A kiss?" asked Haruna. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, my little jewel of Japan. The price has gone up!" Haruna removed her glasses and set them aside. "A kiss was the going rate when this first went down. Now in order for us to be square... you must let me RAH-VEESH YOUUU!" Haruna tackled Konoka and pinned her to the mattress, wrapping her arms around her friend and tickling her sides. "PARU-SAMA LOVE ATTACK VERSION TRIPLE X! And I don't mean thirty!"

Konoka laughed and squealed as Haruna, who was now on top of her, kissed and licked her neck and collarbone, making ridiculous yum-yum-yum sounds as she fed upon Konoka's body. Haruna's hands liberally tickled the defenseless Konoka, who squealed and thrashed.

"Ahahahaha! Paru! I give! Yaaaa! Hahahahaha!"

"Call me Paru-sama and I may let you leave this train car with a little dignity." Haruna took Konoka's left earlobe between her lips and nibbled it gently which caused Konoka to yelp in a way that made Haruna sense that something was off. She lifted herself off of Konoka to see what had caused her to cry out.

"Konoka? Hey, I was just goofing off with... A-Are you okay?"

Konoka's face was bright red and her left hand was clasped over her left ear while her right covered her mouth. She averted her eyes and released her mouth, holding the earlobe that Haruna had nibbled. "That... was... just now... you just discovered my... erogenous zone."

Haruna's jaw dropped to a gaping smile. "Holy crap! No kidding? Your earlobes, huh? So I made you feel something... _stir_ down below?"

Konoka nodded. "Oh, yes... but... you don't have to stop... unless... you want to... but I'd like you... to continue." She hid her face behind her hands, surprised at herself at what she had just asked of her friend. Konoka's words struck Haruna like an eighteen wheeler. Sure, she'd done her share of playful boob groping as most girls her age have done at one time or another but this was a moment in which a line was drawn — and Haruna never met a line she was afraid to cross.

"We probably shouldn't do this..." said Haruna. Konoka concurred and shook her head. "But you want to do this anyway, don't you?" Konoka nodded in agreement.

"Konoka... are you sure about what you're asking me to do? You know I'm not afraid to do things like this... with guys or girls." Haruna talked a bold game but she would have been slightly more afraid to engage in intimacy with a guy, if only for the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy.

"I know. I've suspected that you went either way since my first year here."

"I thought that might have been it. Is that why you've always declined to go anywhere just with me?"

Konoka sighed slowly and nodded.

"Back when we first met, I was as repressed as you could get. I was a bit of a late bloomer and sexuality scared me because I didn't really understand it... and when I learned about homosexuality, it freaked me out because Mahora was an all girls' school. I was constantly on guard because I was a stupid idiot who thought that, given half a chance, some girl was going to molest me. Asuna was very verbal about how much she loved Takahata-sensei so I felt safe around her. Now I'm older and wiser and strangely enough, I've discovered that I'm attracted to both boys and girls. When I said you were... that word I used... I meant it in a good way. Most boys are sexually aggressive toward girls and I get that same feeling from you. What used to scare me now turns me on and that's what caused our problem last month. Kissing Asuna, Nodoka and Yue - _they_ don't do a thing for me erotically and I'm sure that I don't do anything for them. But if I had kissed _you_, I... I would have been afraid that I would have liked it or that you would have liked it or that BOTH of us would have liked it - and in front of Secchan, no less."

"So you really _did_ want to kiss me? Yes! I knew I was kissable! But more than that, you think I'm attractive?" asked Haruna.

Konoka nodded. "Do you really have to ask?"

"I do, actually. I've always been on our top ten biggest boobs in class list but when it comes to a most attractive list I'm easily out-glamored by Iincho, Sakurako or Misa."

"That's bunk. They've got nothing on you. _I_ think you're very beautiful... and I'm jealous of your boobs."

"Thank you. I've been called a lot of things but you're the first one apart from my parents to call me beautiful." Haruna came close to shedding a tear but vanity promptly took over. "And as for my girls, they are pretty spectacular for someone my age, aren't they? Guh. If I had a nickel for every time Yue or Nodoka almost caught me playing with them in our dorm..."

Konoka giggled. "If mine were the size of yours, I might do the same thing! But it's not just your physical beauty that attracts me. You've got an awesome fired-up life of the party personality and a take charge attitude that I both envy and admire. I could never take a leadership role the way you do in Ala Alba. I'd be too afraid of saying something dumb." Konoka held Haruna's hands together and gazed into her eyes earnestly. "I really, really missed not having you around when you were angry with me. I guess I didn't realize just how much I admired you until you weren't around." Konoka reached up and gently stroked Haruna's long dark hair."

"Such flattery… I could get used to that." Haruna purred from the attention Konoka paid to her hair. She wasn't sure if her scalp qualified as an erogenous zone but she did enjoy having her hair stroked – and not in a wholesome way. "You know... avoiding you for a month was more like a punishment for me. I was just being stubborn; telling myself that I was going to make you feel bad for hurting my feelings... but the truth is I really didn't get any pleasure out of your sadness. All I was doing was being a shitty friend. It wasn't one of my better ideas, that's for sure. I'm sorry that I put you through all of that unnecessary stress. When you knocked on the door a little while ago and I figured out that it was you, my heart did a backflip because I knew that I'd been set up to patch things up between us. Not being around you made me appreciate you more and I missed you so much. Oh, and since we're being so open... I also find you attractive, Konoka."

Konoka smiled and blushed at Haruna's heartfelt words, happy with the knowledge that she didn't hate her.

"I mean, who wouldn't? Both guys _and_ girls could fall for you. You're easily amongst the top three cutest girls in our class. You're always so sweet, polite, sensitive and honest - qualities which I haven't exactly been accused of having in excess."

The two girls then spoke the same words simultaneously.

"They say opposites attract."

Both of them laughed.

"How did we not have this conversation ages ago?" asked Haruna.

"I KNOW! Or should that be 'I don't know'?"

"Oh, I remembered another quality you have..." Haruna took a length of Konoka's hair in her hand and brought it to her nose, drawing in a blissful draught of lemongrass and citrus. "Mmmm... Every part of you always smells wonderful. Don't you EVER stink? Even a little? I'll bet that you shit potpourri sachets."

"Ha, ha! Don't say gross stuff like that, Paru!"

"So... should we call it a night or should I continue ravishing you?"

"What do _you_ think?"

Haruna lowered herself on top of Konoka and pressed her lips against Konoka's. From that point onward, Haruna could honestly say that she knew what magic tasted like. She had stolen a couple of kisses from Negi-kun and had a few practical joke kisses with some of the manga club's members under her belt but this was the kind of feeling that made Haruna wish that she had saved her first kiss for this angel. She had drawn many a doki doki moment in her racier doujinshis. Now she could literally draw on experience.

Konoka reveled in the kiss which was softer and gentler than anything she might have expected of Haruna who was usually Miss Full Speed Ahead. As gentle as it was, she could also feel Haruna's raging inferno of passion behind it. The primal urges of a boy housed within the curvaceous body of a girl; such a delectable total package. How she could have been hesitant about this moment was beyond her. Both girls silently added this to their lists of what they should have had ages ago. When their kiss broke, they could see that the other was blushing.

"Mmm. That was nice. Minty, too. Wait a minute..." Konoka gasped. "No fair, Paru-chan! You were prepared with a mint!"

"In this life, one must be prepared at all times." Haruna winked and flashed a victory sign. "It's a dog eat dog world. And judging by the taste of your kiss, you probably ate a dog filled with natto before coming over. Toothbrush, Konoka. Google it. Seriously."

"I wasn't expecting to kiss anyone tonight! You're being mean to meeee!" cried Konoka.

"Hee! Relax, Konoka, your kiss tasted fine. I'm only teasing. Like you've never teased anyone before." Konoka turned her head and pouted. She was too used to teasing Setsuna who never would have dreamed of teasing her Ojou-sama back. She had to admit that she liked the assertive Haruna standing her ground and calling her on the carpet for being a teaser herself.

"Hmph. I liked it better when you were saying nice things about me and kissing me."

"As it turns out, I prefer doing that over teasing." Haruna lowered her head and kissed Konoka's neck in several places. Her fingers slid under Konoka's nightie straps and she tugged them off to the side, kissing the silky skin of her shoulders and collarbone. This was much farther than Haruna thought she'd be getting with the chocolate-haired girl. Konoka wriggled with glee at the naughty attention she was receiving; cooing and breathing heavily in anticipation of further exploration of her virgin territory. Haruna was intoxicated on Konoka's heavenly scent. Every part of her had a fragrance that was like fresh fruit from God's fruit basket. Haruna was blessed with a level of courage which only a small handful of girls in her class possessed and at this moment, so she was giddy over the butterflies in her stomach. With every fiber of her being, Haruna wanted to strip this perfect little doll and lavish her sweetly scented porcelain skin with tender kisses until the sun came up. She failed to see how Setsuna, who was closer to Konoka than anyone else, kept herself from doing this to Konoka every night. Haruna feared that if she were to go too far too fast, Konoka would be frightened and run away. Exercising restraint was as much of a rush as the wildest adventure that Haruna had ever had with Ala Alba. She looked up from Konoka's chest to cool down for a moment.

"Konoka, I never knew you were so down for this kind of thing."

"I am all about this kind of thing. I just haven't had any takers... or at least the _right_ taker. I wouldn't do this with just anyone, you understand."

"Oh, of course." Haruna tugged the neckline of Konoka's nightgown down to where it rested just above her nipples. She kissed the area between Konoka's breasts and delighted in the sighs of pleasure that it elicited.

"You know, for all the hugs and kisses I give to Secchan, Asuna and the others," said Konoka, "I never receive any in return. Think about it: when's the last time that you saw Asuna give me a hug out of the blue? Or Yue-chan put me in a playful headlock?"

"Uhhhhh... now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever seen anyone playfully touch you."

"Plus who asks their friends to hug them? 'Honya-chan, can I borrow some soy sauce? Oh, and could you put your arms around me and hold me for about a minute?' That would be awkward. So I tease and play jokes on my friends to provoke them in the hope that they would at least try to smack me with a pillow... but nothing comes of it. Not even Anya-chan who I was sure would try to hit me. It's as if I'm the only student in this whole class who initiates physical contact with anyone! I'm so starved for affection that if someone gave me a plain old hug it would be magnified twenty times in intensity. And when Secchan or someone picks me up off my feet into their arms I get..." Konoka stopped herself from completing her sentence.

"Eh? You get what? Excited? Dizzy? Mmmmoist?" Haruna smiled in anticipation of learning a new and possibly naughty secret about her normally straightlaced friend.

Konoka's face became flushed and she covered her features with her hands. "Nothing! Never mind! Shush! I've said too much!" Nothing brought out the kitsune in Haruna more than when someone withheld juicy information from her. Konoka hopped out of the bed and walked away but Haruna followed her and grabbed her by the upper arms.

"Spill, woman! You can't hold out on me any more than you can hold a liter of water in your hands!"

"I can hold a liter of water." stated Konoka, uncovering her face to refute Haruna's analogy.

"I meant outside of a jug. As in literally in your hands."

"Oh." Konoka covered her face again. "Nuuuu! Go awayyyy."

"Confess!" Haruna poked and tickled Konoka's tummy and sides in an effort to break her will. Haruna couldn't help but feel as if she was being conned into doing what she was about to do next but it didn't bother her very much. "Well, if you're not going to tell me then I guess I'll just have to find out... for myself!" Haruna scooped up Konoka and spun her around as she danced around the room. "Wheeeee! Geez, you're a featherweight. With all those snacks you buy when we travel out of town I'd have guessed that you weighed more." A woozy Konoka produced her hammer once more and tried to conk Haruna on the head for her impertinent comment but her grip faltered and the hammer fell on the carpet.

"You... missed. You missed with your trademark hammer strike... Is this...ah?"

Konoka whispered into Haruna's ear. Her voice quivered as she spoke which reminded Haruna of when dying anime characters are giving a last request.

"Haruna... I don't want you to think badly of me for asking you for such a naughty thing so casually but..."

"You want me to make love to you, right? I can tell." Haruna's heart was beating furiously in her chest and her face was every bit as red as Konoka's. Konoka breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that Haruna was able to anticipate her needs.

"...Uh huh... my body's on fire," said Konoka. "Please put it out for me. I want you. Please?" Haruna smiled so widely that it almost hurt her face.

"I was hoping that you'd say that..." said Haruna, "because I want you, too, Konoka."

Haruna carried Konoka over to her bed but stopped short of it by a few steps.

"But - and I hate to bring this up right when you've said something so deliciously naughty - what about Setsuna?"

Konoka let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. "I care about Secchan but I've given her so many hints, invitations and opportunities that if she hasn't made a move on me by now, she never will. _You_ kissed _me_. That alone puts you in a different league than Secchan. I need someone who has more desire for me than fear of me. That someone is you, Paru."

"So she's not going to cut me in half when she finds out about this?"

Konoka had to think about this for a second.

"N-No, of course not," she replied with 98% certainty. "She and I aren't a couple so this wouldn't be cheating." Haruna felt a twinge of concern over the hesitation in Konoka's response but since she had never been as horny as she was right now, she was willing to throw caution to the wind.

"In that case, let me me show you to my love nest... Kono-chan." Konoka's heart fluttered at the sound of her pet name and the level of intimacy between them which it suggested. Haruna set Konoka down beside the bed and took her cell phone out of her pocket. "And don't worry; I'll see to it that Nodoka and Yue won't be back tonight. I'll text them and let them know that negotiations between us are still brewing and that we'll need a sleepover to iron out our differences. Asuna won't mind them crashing at your place tonight, will she?" Haruna placed Konoka beside the bed and slipped out of her top and shorts, showing off her lacy pink underwear with black trim. Konoka's eyes widened as she naughtily ogled Haruna's well developed body. She had shared a changing room with Haruna plenty of times before such as at the baths or in the locker room after gym class but this was the first time she could watch her strip without drawing strange looks. There was a difference between not caring if you're seen naked and caring _enough_ to be seen naked.

"Kono-chan? Earth to Konoka?" Haruna completed the text message and sent it to Yue.

"Ah? Oh! N-No, I doubt it. She has the day off from her paper route tomorrow so she'll be sleeping in."

"Good. I'd hate for our night of lovemaking to be interrupted. This is going to be awesome! Two beautiful girls lost in the throes of burning passion... where friendship blossoms into something more... Yeah, I'd draw that." Haruna closed her eyes and smiled as she pulled Konoka's nightgown up to pull it over her head. Konoka stood up and lifted her arms to assist in its removal and once it was off, she was wearing nothing but her panties. She laid back down on the bed and smiled back as she reflexively covered her breasts; the fingertips of her open hands lightly touching her sternum.

"It's my first time... Paru-chan... so please be gentle... with... me." Konoka's eyes glazed over as Haruna's bra came off; her pendulous breasts bobbing freely as she slid her panties down to her ankles. Stepping out of them, she crawled onto the bed like a hungry tiger.

"Hee! Of course, Kono-chan. It'll be my first time, too... and what's more, I'm honored that a girl as special as you... a friend as special as you... will be my first."

Konoka trembled as Haruna drew an index finger down her tummy and stopped at the waistband of her panties underneath which she slid the fingers of both hands. A gentle tug removed the garment, leaving Konoka in the buff. We have seen the promised land, thought Haruna, and the fields are waxed.

"Aw, I'm not that spe- eh? You mean you're a virgin, too, Paru-chan? With your boldness, I'd have guessed that you've had lots and lots of lovers."

"..."

Haruna put the brakes on and left the bed, heading back to where Konoka had propositioned her while in her arms. Konoka blinked as she watched Haruna who seemed to be looking for something.

"What are you looking for, Paru-chan?"

Haruna turned around, making Konoka squeak in fear when she saw the bulging vein on Haruna's forehead and the absence of pupils in her eyes.

"Where'd that hammer go?"

_(I'm not as interested in writing graphic sex scenes as I am in writing a compelling and convincing romantic dramedy. I may go that way in the future for some other story but I feel that this story isn't that kind of story. Therefore, the majority of the sexual content in my stories will be "off-camera", much like broadcast TV soap opera cutaway love scenes. Once I've completed Between 13 and 15, I'm sure that you'll agree that I made the right decision. This move will let me build some credibility. Good erotica takes plenty of talent so please don't think that I look down upon it.)_


	4. How To Woo Friends And Alienate Roomies

Nodoka clutched Haruna's T-square nervously as Yue slid her key into the lock of their dorm's door. The hallway traffic on late Sunday mornings was next to nonexistent since the majority of students with places to go had already departed. Haruna hadn't replied to the text messages which Yue had sent this morning and it was already nearly noon. According to Asuna, she hadn't heard back from Konoka either - not that it was any surprise since Konoka left her phone behind when she left last night - which left all three of them in the dark about how well the peace talk/sleepover went between their two friends. The crash at Asuna's room had been fairly uneventful. Neither Nodoka nor Yue were completely at ease that night what with the distraction of Negi-sensei's adorable sleeping face being a ladder's scale away and the possibility of Haruna's wrath still hanging over their heads. Yue carefully turned the key and gently turned the knob without making a sound. She left the door ever so slightly ajar; just enough so that the door didn't close itself. Releasing the knob, she returned her hand to her cricket bat's handle and spoke to Nodoka while keeping her eyes on the door.

"Now, before we go in," said Yue, "I have to ask; we aren't going to have a repeat performance of last night's Turncoat Theater, are we?"

"Yue-yue," said Nodoka, "I've apologized for that incident a dozen times already. I admit that I lost my head there for a while but I'm fine now and it won't happen again; I promise."

"Fair enough... ah, would you be willing to go in first as a gesture of your sincerity?"

"I'm contrite, not suicidal."

"My best friend, folks." said Yue to no one in particular as she rolled her eyes. She cautiously pushed the door open with her bat and peeked behind the hinges to see if anyone or anything was hidden behind it. That area was secure and she gestured to Nodoka with a flex of her neck that they were going to enter the dorm. Removing her shoes, Yue continued forward with her bat at the ready. "Haruna?" Yue called out. "Are you decent?"

"Are you angry?" asked Nodoka out loud, who trailed behind Yue by seven paces. "A-Answer that one first, please." Nodoka left her shoes on in case she needed to run back outside.

"Yes, answer that one first, please; are you angry?" Yue peered around the corner and spotted Konoka snoozing away peacefully in Haruna's bed. Sensing no danger, she turned the corner and approached her sleeping friend. She noticed that Konoka's hair was uncharacteristically messy - even by bedhead standards - and was about to address her but gasped when she noticed that, spooning lovingly behind Konoka, was one sleeping Haruna Saotome. Their bare shoulders suggested that they were topless and since numerous items of clothing were scattered about the floor - the very garments which Haruna and Konoka happened to be wearing the night before - there was every reason to believe that they were nude under their blankets. It didn't take a Tokyo U graduate to deduce what sort of activities involved being nude in bed together. "Oh, my lordybegordy..." Yue spun around so quickly when she marched back to Nodoka that the sleigh bells in her hair jingled.

"W-What's wrong, Yue?" asked Nodoka. She hadn't turned the corner so she didn't see Haruna's bed and feared the worst.

"Neither of them are decent." answered Yue as she grasped Nodoka's wrist and led her back to the front door.

"Eh? 'Neither of them'? Was Konoka changing?"

"Oh, Konoka's _changed_, all right." Barring the possibility that this was a practical joke, Yue believed that once Setsuna found out about this, the swordswoman would use her blade to make the First Church of Paru-sama a polytheistic religion. Everything about this screamed "mistake" in Yue's opinion and she hoped that her adventurous roommate was prepared to deal with the potentially dire consequences.

"Wait a minute. How can someone be both 'changed' _and_ 'indecent'?" asked Nodoka as she put on the brakes, preventing herself from being pulled along any further.

"Uhhhh... Breakfast."

"Eh? 'Breakfast'? What kind of answer is _that_?"

"Breakfast... Yeah, that's what we need; breakfast! Asagohan! Grilled fish! Mmmm! Don't those sound good to you? Sounds great to me! Come dine with me in the cafeteria, Nodoka. Natto! Miso!"

"But the cafeteria's closed... and we had breakfast two hours ago."

"Then we'll have brunch at a restaurant but let's get the hell out of here, PLEASE! Tamagoyaki! So many choices! All of them this way!" Yue walked behind Nodoka and planted her palms into her back, pushing her taller friend toward the door. Yue slid her feet into her shoes and marched onward while Nodoka whined something about wanting to brush her teeth and change clothes as the front door clunked shut behind them.

Both Konoka and Haruna chuckled, having overheard the conversation. Konoka severed their spooning by turning over to face her friend and lover. They laid on their sides and grinned groggily upon seeing each other. Their hair had seen better days but it was worth it; their night had been a smorgasbord of abandoned inhibitions, sensual discoveries and unbridled indulgence - and it was all coming back to them in vivid detail.

"Hey." croaked a bleary eyed Konoka.

"Hey." croaked Haruna as she ran her fingers through Konoka's hair to fix it.

"Did you sleep well, Paru-chan?"

"I did. And you?"

"Mm-hm. I'm so happy that last night wasn't a dream."

"It was real, all right... and so is the emptiness in my stomach. Argh... now I'm absolutely DYING for tamagoyaki!" Haruna closed her eyes as she wept sheets of tears. "Stupid Yue! Why did she have to talk about food? I didn't eat anything at all last night."

"Oh, _I_ beg to differ." Konoka leaned in for a kiss which Haruna was only too happy to provide. The kiss began as a pair of pecks but it quickly upgraded to a more passionate one. Haruna wrapped her arms around Konoka and rolled onto her back so that her lover now lay on top of her. Both girls emitted a sustained croaky moan of approval through their clasped lips as their warm nude bodies pressed snugly against each other. If only every morning could start this way - minus the awkward moment with the roomies - all would be well with the world. The kiss broke so gently and sweetly that neither girl could help but smile. The novelty of the newfound tenderness which they now shared was a million years away from wearing off.

"That was so nice... but, pretty please, no round two just yet, Kono-chan. Artist needs food badly... not to mention that the roomies want a change of clothes." Haruna rolled Konoka back to her previous spot on the bed and carefully crawled over her so as to keep her covered by the blanket. She retrieved her glasses from the nightstand and made her way to her wardrobe. Konoka whimpered and made grabby hands at Haruna as she walked away - she wanted to cuddle some more - but she was starting to feel a bit hungry herself so she suppressed her grief.

"Speaking of which, may I please borrow some clothes, Paru-chan? I came in my nightgown last night." Haruna had just put on a robe and was about to give a smartassed reply but Konoka promptly corrected herself. "I came **to your dorm wearing **my nightgown last night." Haruna stuck out her tongue in protest as she walked back over to Konoka with a spare robe draped in her arm.

"I'd be happy to lend you some but don't you think that mine might be a little big on you?" asked Haruna as she helped Konoka don the robe. "Why don't you raid Nodoka's closet? She's closer to your build than I am. It's that one over there."

"You had me at 'closet'! Eeeee!" beamed Konoka, her eyes aquiver with tears of joy. "I don't think she'd mind, do you?" Konoka sifted eagerly through Nodoka's closet which had some really cute tops in it. She was practically drooling at the dozens of outfit combinations at her fingertips. Haruna couldn't reply to Konoka as she was in mid-yawn and stretching her arms outward while standing on her toes. Returning to her original shape with a groan, she plodded over to the kitchen in bare feet and addressed Konoka's question.

"No, but even if she did, I wouldn't worry about it. Personally, I think that she'd loan you her artifact if it meant getting us patched up again. Besides, I think she owes me at least that much for the handcuffs stunt. Ends only justify the means in this dorm if I say they do. Heh, I just wish I had been thinking a little faster when Yue came in. I would have sat up, thrown off the blanket and said '_You're next! Get nekkid, beeyatch!_'"

"Hahahaaaaa! That would have been hi_**lar**_ious! You never get tired of striking terror into our hearts, do you?" Konoka placed a top and skirt combo against her body and walked over to Haruna to get her opinion of it.

"I'm a benevolent sheepherder, Kono-chan. I only bust chops... very nice... when it's deserved. _Some_one's got to keep them in line." Haruna loved new clothing options as much as the next girl but having two roommates who were smaller than her made borrowing impossible for her.

"'_Them_'? Not 'someone's got to keep _you_ in line'? Am I no longer one of _them_?" Konoka walked back to the closet and placed the outfit aside as a winner but continued to gleefully rummage through Nodoka's closet.

"Not any more. By virtue of your good taste in sexual partners, you have transcended the trappings of this mortal coil. From this day forward, you shall be known as The Great Kono-sama, a deity of equal godhood in our now shared pantheon. Don't let it go to your head." Haruna rummaged through the refrigerator but other than OJ and purple stuff, there wasn't much in the way of substantial foodstuffs that would kill her hunger.

"My, my, such an honor! I don't think that I'd be able to push Nodoka and Yue around the way you do, though. You have your artifact to back you up. What am I going to do; threaten to heal the crap out of them if they don't obey?"

"Either that or you could sic Setsuna on them. That'd grab their attention. Geez, even the instant ramen's all gone? That settles it; we're hitting a restaurant!" Haruna rummaged through the kitchen cabinets for something edible but all she found were ingredients for making dishes and she was too lazy as well as too hungry to prepare them. Konoka's stomach felt as if a dozen rotten vinegar-soaked lemons had suddenly appeared inside of it when she heard Haruna mention Setsuna's name. She knew that she'd have to tell Setsuna about this - and the sooner the better - but she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Please excuse me, Paru-chan, I've got to use the bathroom."

"By all means, milady." Haruna bowed slightly and gestured to direct Konoka toward the bathroom. "Don't flush when you're done. Those fragrant turds of yours will serve as our new potpourri air freshener." Konoka held out her hand as she walked past Haruna and it gently slapped Haruna's forehead. The bathroom door clunked shut behind Konoka which left Haruna alone with her thoughts for a minute or two.

Haruna caught a glimpse of the full length mirror on the inside of her wardrobe door and she got a closer look to inspect herself. This was the first time that she had seen herself post-intercourse and she smiled. The person in the mirror was the same person that Konoka said was "very beautiful" and this verification made Haruna beautiful. Why shouldn't she share the same runway as the cheerleaders or Ayaka? She stuck out her tongue and flicked it up and down rapidly, recalling the techniques she used on Konoka last night. She thought about Eishun Konoe as well as her own parents, wondering how they would react if they knew that their little girls had done something so very grown up.

Turning to one side, she slid her robe off of her right shoulder and puckered her lips seductively. "Please understand, Shizuna-sensei... this sort of a relationship between a teacher and a student is wrong. Besides, I'm with Kono-chan now." Haruna's first and most reliable masturbatory fantasy was a scenario where she was seduced by Mahora Academy's large breasted guidance counselor. She slid the robe back over her shoulder and opened the front, baring her breasts and examining them at different angles. They still had far to go to threaten Chizuru's first place spot but it was better than being in last place. Konoka had lavished them with so much attention that Haruna was afraid of becoming spoiled. Haruna cupped her right breast and naughtily brought it closer to her face to lick her own nipple when she heard the toilet flush. Haruna quickly drew her robe closed for fear of being caught playing with herself and silently fought back the heart attack that almost overtook her.

Having snapped out of her self-appraisal session, she wondered what on earth had possessed her to act like a porn star in front of her mirror. She chalked it up to a combination of hormones and the absence of her roommates - or cellmates, as she sometimes referred to them. Privacy was a rare commodity in Mahora and sharing a dorm with The Girl With The Coin Purse For A Bladder meant that the bathroom could only be tied up for so long with shenanigans. Haruna heard Konoka washing her hands in the bathroom and knew she'd be back out momentarily. A round of afternoon delight definitely had its appeal and she doubted that Konoka would turn her down but food, sadly, took priority. Konoka returned from the bathroom with her hair looking far improved, most likely from borrowing a hairbrush from Frankendrawer - the top drawer by the bathroom sink named for its job of containing everyone's various beauty aids.

"I forgot to mention it last night, Paru-chan, but you look so different when you're not wearing your glasses."

"Different better or different worse?"

"Neither; just different. Ne, Paru-chan, can I try them on?"

"Sure. Knock yourself out." Haruna removed her glasses and handed them to Konoka, watching her as she put them on. While Konoka looked cute in anything she wore, Haruna thought that her particular frames didn't really suit Konoka's face.

"Wow. Poor Paru-chan. You're as blind as a bat."

"Why is it that _everyone_ with normal vision says the _exact_ same thing when they put on someone else's glasses? They're made for _my_ eyes so of _course_ they would look distorted through _yours_, silly."

"Eh? You must have been saying something just now because I saw your lips moving but all I heard was 'eek-eek-eek-eek-eek-eek-eek-eek-eek-eek.'" Konoka further illustrated her Blind Bat Haruna imitation by squinting, flapping her fingers to mimic wings and comically bumping into the wall several times. Haruna never knew a sillier girl than Konoka and she loved that about her. She was rather silly herself so she decided to play along.

"Hey, don't underestimate echolocation..." Haruna lifted her arm to her face while holding onto her robe flap and peered over it in a sinister fashion, mimicking a vampire cape. "Eet's enough tu allow me tu faind yu, Mina Harker." Haruna held both flaps of her robe open and wrapped her would-be wings around Konoka. She hissed and opened her mouth to sink her fangs into Konoka's throat. Konoka played along by crying out softly but rather than a bite, her throat received a gentle kiss which made her chuckle. The two lovers then shared a soft kiss followed by a tender embrace. Haruna sighed softly and Konoka slid her hands around Haruna and stroked her lower back and buttocks. "Kono-chan, I have to say... last night was amaaazing. As cliché as it sounds, I feel as if I've crossed the threshold of womanhood; as if everything that's ever happened in the history of the world had all been for our benefit so that we could have that one special moment… silly, huh?"

"That's not silly. It's poetic and very sweet. It was special to me, too. You were so passionate, so untamed... and so tasty. I'm getting excited again just thinking about it." Konoka removed the glasses and placed a kiss on each of Haruna's eyelids before returning the glasses to Haruna's face.

"It was everything I thought it would be... only could you have squirted any more?" Haruna broke the hug and drew her robe closed. "Dayum, girl! The way you were gushing I thought I was going down on the Shinano River! Next time I'll borrow a pair of swim goggles and nose plugs from Akira!" Haruna snorted with laughter at the perturbed expression on Konoka's face.

"And who was it that was working my G-spot as if it was the God Phoenix bird missile button to _make_ me squirt more, hmm? Piu-piu-piu-piu-piu-piu-piu-piu." Using both hands, Konoka tickled Haruna with repeated finger pokes to her crotch which Haruna tried to block.

"Yeeeeep! Hey, I wasn't complaining. Besides, you loved it and we both know it." Haruna couldn't remember having ever drawn a Gatchaman Ken and Ryu yaoi doujinshi before but she'd have to give it a try. One could never go wrong with the classics. "Could you give me a hand flipping the mattress again?" Konoka nodded and followed Haruna to her bed.

They held opposite ends of the upside-down mattress and turned it right side up. The mattress was flipped in the wee hours of the morning when they were too tired from lovemaking so that they might have a dry place to sleep. There in the center of the mattress was a round damp spot which was nearly a meter in diameter. It was somewhat ominous in its appearance as if it were an alien crop circle or a haunted grave site. Haruna calculated to her satisfaction that Konoka was easily responsible for 89% of it and Haruna was unable to keep herself from visualizing the percentage in pie chart format on the damp spot.

"Thaaaaat... can't be normal, can it?" asked Konoka.

"Normal or not, you've got to admit it's pretty impressive. It's like a pizza of pussy juice."

"Hold the marinara sauce, please." joked Konoka.

"Ah! Konoka!" Haruna exclaimed as she smiled and blushed. "Was that _lowbrow mensies humor_? You _are_ a goddess in my pantheon _after all_! Eeeeeee!" She hugged Konoka and arched her back, lifting her up off her feet. Konoka began to question the wisdom in encouraging Haruna with raunchy one-liners.

"Gweh... Haruna, remember the sweep-me-off-my-feet effect? Bearhugs SO don't qualify. Would you please put me down?"

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry." Haruna set Konoka back down and both girls readjusted their own robes. "Can you imagine what a buzzkill last night would have been if either one of us were being visited by Aunt Rose?"

"Wah... I seriously think I would have cried. How long until your next visit?"

"Probably two weeks. You?"

"A week. Maybe a little more."

"Oh. You know, I find it hard to believe that, throughout all of its history, not a _single_ mage in Mundus Magicus has ever explored that particular field of magical research. _Some_one out there must have figured out a way to apply magical theory toward eliminating menstruation."

"I still remember how simple and sweet life was before Aunt Rose." Konoka smiled and tapped her index fingers together. She closed her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks. "I was twelve when she first visited me so it was only a little over two years ago. To think that I have forty-plus more years worth of visits yet to come..."

"Be strong, Kono-chan. Next time we see Yue, you and I are going to hit up Orbis Sensualium Pictus and see if there's a monthly - or permanent - magical alternative to tamps and pads."

"And if one doesn't exist, then I swear on the lightly scented and unscented graves of my unfertilized eggs..." Haruna laughed at the absurdity of Konoka's melodramatic oath. "...that I will make it my personal pet project for the rest of my days as a Magistra Magi." A large graphic of Nihon no Kokki appeared behind Konoka as some unseen choir sang Kimigayo in the background. "And if I grow too old to continue my magical research, I'll leave extensive notes for future generations to complete my work." Konoka looked outward into the distance of an indoor sky as a gentle breeze that came from nowhere lightly tossed her hair this way and that; the flag graphic also flapped in response to the breeze. "One day... it may be a year from now; it may be a thousand years from now, but _one_ day... my fellow countrywomen... no, women the world over will be freed from the icky shackles that have held us prisoners for centuries... there'll be dancing in the streets... parades and festivals will be held to commemorate this discovery... and I'll be the one to go down in the history books as the woman who pioneered the research. You're welcome, my sisters. I did it... for all... of you." The music came to an end but the graphic remained.

"That's all well and good, Kono-chan but before you start polishing the bronze statue erected in your honor, there's one small problem with that idealistic scenario… two, actually; one small problem and one enormous problem." Konoka heard Haruna but she wanted to bask in this moment a bit longer.

"What are they?" asked Konoka, keeping her eyes fixed on that same distant point.

"First, should you succeed in your quest, the Konoe name will forever be linked with menstruation. Do you really want to subject generations of your descendants - the male ones in particular - to that kind of heritage?" This predicament gave Konoka a pregnant pause. She pictured her great-great-great grandson Hiro Konoe being teased and taunted mercilessly by his high school classmates and it made her very sad; poor, dear, sweet Hiro who'd never hurt a fly.

"Ah. No, I suppose that I wouldn't."

"Second, in case you've forgotten, we've got a responsibility to keep magic a secret from the real world. If we erased the physical manifestation of women's periods the world over tomorrow - even anonymously - that would cause monumental waves in the magical community and I have little doubt that someone would be sent to investigate. We're still novices in the ways of magic so I wouldn't be surprised if you were found out and erminized for your efforts. Not to mention that there'd be no shortage of organizations full of narrow minded people who would misinterpret this as some kind of ill omen. You know how people fear what they don't understand. Women would become pariahs and fall victim to violence..."

"Enouuuuuuuuuugh. You're right. I'll keep the spell a secret and cast it on myself and you."

"That's my Kono-chan." Haruna stood behind Konoka and gave her shoulders a gentle massage. Konoka began to pout and seethe with childlike anger as bitter tears beaded up in her eyes.

"Stupid, ignorant real world! Why can't they just appreciate a godsend instead of trying to bash it with a rock like a caveman? I'm only trying to help the world!"

"Kono-chan, your altruism, ambitious and inspirational as it may be, is more than this world is ready to accept. They may never be ready. Speaking of being ready, get your ass in the shower and get dressed so we can go get something to eat. I'm wasting away here." Haruna gave Konoka's rear end a pat to shoo her off to the bathroom.

"Okay, but first, I'll go put your bedsheet in the washer for you." Konoka reached for the sheet but Haruna held her shoulder to prevent her forward movement and turned her toward the direction of the bathroom.

"Uh-uh. I'm saving that sheet as is. I'm never washing it again."

"EEEEEW! GROSS, HARUNA!"

"Hey, it's not as if I'm not going to leave it here on my bed, Kono-chan. I'm going to commission the school's art department to build me a bedsheet sized frame so that I can display it proudly onnnnnnnnn... _that_ wall."

"AAAAAAAH! THE HELL YOU WILL!" Konoka grabbed the sheet from the futon, ran over to the bath, threw the sheet into the tub, frantically squoze shampoo into the center of the damp spot and turned on the hot water full blast. She frantically agitated the sheet as she handwashed it. Haruna shed a sweatdrop from her head as she peered into the bath. "Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub!"

"I... was only kidding. D-Do I really seem like the kind of girl who'd want to keep something like that on a wall?" Haruna came to the conclusion that she might have to hire Asakura on as a PR person. When she was certain that the offending spot had been sufficiently scrubbed out of the fabric, Konoka stomped over to Haruna, huffing and puffing with anger. She shook her fist at Haruna which caused water droplets to fly from Konoka's wet robe sleeve and land against Haruna's face and glasses.

"Mmmeanie! Y-You! Bad Haruna!" This relatively low level of Konoka's anger was absolutely adorable in Haruna's eyes. It was like having a cute little sister bark at you for eating the last red bean mochi in the house. Haruna wanted to snicker but since that would probably make Konoka angrier, she chose to throw the pouting girl a curve ball to strike her out. Removing her glasses and setting them beside the sink, she approached Konoka and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"You're right. I am such a bad girl." Haruna closed her eyes and sighed, then opened one eye as her fingers held the collar of Konoka's robe. "Will you accept my... apology?" Haruna kissed Konoka's neck and gently tugged Konoka's robe open to expose her collarbone. She kissed Konoka's collarbone and repeated the process, kissing each newly revealed area of Konoka's torso with each length of open robe. Somehow, Konoka lost interest in scolding Haruna.

"Yes. Yes, I will. Mm-hm. Apology accepted."

Konoka's robe fell to the floor, as did Haruna's as she stood from her crouching position. Haruna kissed Konoka on the lips and slowly backed her into the shower stall. Konoka's hands slid around Haruna's body and drew her closer. Without turning around or breaking the kiss, Haruna shut the stall door behind them and turned on the hot water which would serve as a secondary source of steam at best.

* * *

><p>Konoka and Haruna awoke several hours later to the sounds of both of their stomachs growling ferociously. It was 4:00 in the afternoon and they were back in Haruna's bed, having drifted off to sleep after another two rounds of sex; once in the shower and once in the bed.<p>

"Waaah! Konoka, we're going to staaaaaaaaaarve! Stop being gay so we can get food!"

"_Me?_ _You_ stop being gay so we can get _dressed_!"

* * *

><p>Konoka and Haruna were finally able to keep their libidos in check long enough to take a second shower, get dressed, <em>stay<em> dressed and leave the dorm. They hurried to Haruna's favorite Chinese restaurant where the all-you-can-eat buffet pushed their stomachs and gall bladders to the limit. Their first joint decision as co-goddesses was to declare barbecued pork the official ambrosia of their pantheon. Haruna volunteered to pick up the tab since she knew Konoka didn't bring a purse or wallet with her when she visited last night. Having successfully fended off starvation, the young lovers took a leisurely walk and had such a fun time chatting that neither of them could help but feel like this was a first date.

Konoka sincerely enjoyed listening to Haruna speak, if only for counting the number of topics she could cover in so short an amount of time. Within the space of twenty minutes, Haruna spoke on magic, her manga artwork, the card game they played which was not affiliated with Wizards of the Coast in any way, her future aspirations and what kind of animal she'd like to be reborn as should reincarnation be possible. Setsuna generally disliked idle chatter so it was like pulling teeth for Konoka to get much out of her that didn't involve safety briefings. Haruna didn't intend to dominate the conversation but she saw Konoka's eyes light up when she spoke and Nodoka and Yue had heard Haruna run off at the mouth ad nauseum. This made Konoka fresh meat, so to speak. Before they knew it, the time was 19:46 and they headed back to the academy to return to their dorms.

"So, Kono-chan... I was wondering... what does last night make us now?" asked Haruna.

"We both still like guys so I'd say we'rrrrre... bi-adventurous?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant. We're friends again and all but... are we a steady couple now? Are we friends with benefits? I'd like to know where we stand."

"A cou...ple?" Konoka didn't think that far ahead when she made the decision to sleep with Haruna. It was impulsive and it was made in the spirit of fun, excitement and pleasure; the way she lived every moment. So much went along with the 'couple' designation and there was so much to consider; public perception being first and foremost. One could not be the Headmaster's granddaughter and escape from being under the school's collective microscope. Everyone at Mahora knew of her and many people knew that she and Setsuna were closer than close - so for her to suddenly come out as a couple with Haruna... this news would be bigger than big - almost as big as when Negi-kun first came to Mahora. On the surface, it seemed as if a relationship with Haruna would yield nothing but happiness. Konoka felt that she could be very happy with Haruna in an exclusive relationship. The biggest hurdle to clear would be Setsuna and how she would cope with the idea.

"Yes, a couple. I mean, not to be greedy but I hope this wasn't just a one night stand... or a one night, one morning and most of the afternoon stand."

"It was certainly _not_ a one night stand, Paru-chan! What we shared was a beautiful thing and I don't want this to come to an end. It's just that... a couple. It's a pretty big step. "

"I'm aware of that and I'm prepared for it if you are. Are you?"

"If it was just me, I'd say yes but... you know... it'll be difficult to break the news to Secchan."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock." Haruna stopped walking and Konoka followed suit. "What does Setsuna have to do with this? You told me that you two weren't a couple. Why would you need her permission to be a couple with anyone of your choosing?"

"Hey... I don't **need** Secchan's _permission_ to do _anything_! Last night should be proof enough of that." Haruna was taken aback by the tone Konoka used with her.

"I sowwy if I offended you, Kono-chan." Haruna was sincere in her apology but what she didn't know was that Konoka had a weakness for cutesy baby talk. It was an embarassing thing to be turned on by and Konoka casually turned her head to let her blushing pass unseen.

"You didn't. She's not my chaperone but she's still my best friend as well as my ministra. I just need to... run things by her before we go any further. I'm sure even you have to run things by Nodoka and Yue on occasion seeing as how you three share a residence."

"Nodoka and Yue... yeah, about them... I wonder if things between the three of us will be awkward over this."

"Awkward? How so?" The two girls continued their walk back to the dorms.

"You know, like hitting the bath together and stuff. They've never witnessed my liberal bedfellow policy in action until this morning. I just hope they don't think that I'm a pervert now."

Konoka turned her head and sputtered which caught Haruna's attention.

"Is there something you'd care to share with the rest of the class, Miss Konoe?"

"U-u-u-um... PFF-F-F-F-F-F-F-T!"

"What's so funny?"

"Do you think that Nodoka and Yue hadn't pegged you as a pervert long before now, Princess Yaoi?"

"Okay, for the record, let's determine your definition of a pervert so that I can tell you how wrong it is. Suppose there's a guy who likes to screw watermelons." Konoka began to laugh. Haruna's conversations were nothing if not entertaining. "Oh, hush. I'm being serious here. Now then, is he a pervert or is he not a pervert?"

"He's a pervert, of course."

Haruna shook her head. "And you would be wrong. I only said that he likes to screw watermelons. I never said that he screws them in the open fields where they grow or in the produce aisles of supermarkets. This particular guy buys watermelons, takes them home, drills a hole in the rind and screws them in the privacy of his own bedroom behind closed doors."

"I didn't know those details."

"And that's because you didn't ask for any details. _Everything's_ in the details." Haruna used her electronic passkey to open the door to their building and they entered. "Anyway, the watermelon guy isn't a pervert. He's a fetishist and a harmless one, given that his specific fetish involves an inanimate object so he's not harming anyone. Perversion is simply someone's sexual fetish which has accidentally or deliberately been divulged, disclosed or imposed upon one or more unwilling parties. This guy isn't making anyone else listen to or watch him screw watermelons, nor does he tell anyone that he screws watermelons and he disposes of the post-love melon where no one will happen upon it accidentally."

"You mean he doesn't eat the melon afterward? Heeheeheeheeheehee!"

Haruna didn't expect such a comment to come out of Konoka's mouth. She was either having more of an influence on Konoka than she had realized or she was always this frisky and never noticed. "Hahahahaaaaaa! And I thought sprinkling _salt_ on watermelon was gross."

"What do you suppose a guy who screws watermelons would look like?"

It was at that moment that Konoemon Konoe, Headmaster of Mahora Academy, was turning the corner.

"Ah, Konoka, just the person I was going to see. I thought you might like some of this-"

In his hands was a wooden tray. On it rested, of all things, a watermelon.

Both Konoka and Haruna screamed with laughter at the top of their lungs and fell to the floor laughing. Their screams startled the Headmaster and the watermelon began to roll off the tray. He dropped the tray in an attempt to catch the melon. He caught it as he crouched and scooped it close to his body, cradling it against his lower abdomen. The tray landed corner first on the big toe of his left foot and he moaned out loud continuously.

Konoka and Haruna pointed and screamed with laughter even louder than before at the watermelon's proximity to the Headmaster's crotch along with his moaning. Haruna's eyelids were overflowing with tears and she pounded the floor with her fists, certain that she would pass out if she didn't get to draw some air into her lungs. Konoka was in a similar state, convulsing and chirping with high pitched giggles. Her ribs hurt from laughing so hard and she seriously thought that she might puke or wet herself. She hadn't laughed this hard or long in her life. Thanks to her grandfather and Haruna, she'd never be able to look at a watermelon and not think of this moment.

Ah, to be young and silly again, the Headmaster thought.

* * *

><p>After regaining their composure, Konoka and Haruna finally reached Konoka's dorm. During the walk, they came to an agreement that they'd wait until Setsuna was in a better place emotionally with their upgraded friendship before going steady.<p>

"Well, here we are." sighed Konoka.

"Yeah... only now that we're here... I don't want to let you go."

"I know what you mean... but we've both got things we need to do to get ready for school tomorrow."

"Yeah. Hey, do you wanna go clothes shopping with me on Saturday?"

"I'd like that but are you _sure_ you want to take me along? I'm a hardcore clothes shopper and I've worn out both Negi-kun and Secchan on our shopping trips."

"Heh. Amateur." Haruna pushed her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose with a lone finger. "I've left both Nodoka and Yue in pools of their own tears with my shopping prowess. Girl, if you shop me under the table, I'll eat my adrenal glands." Konoka grimaced and stuck out her tongue, recalling the triangular organs that sat upon the kidneys.

"Blawwww! You never run out of gross stuff to say, do you, Paru-chan?"

"Come to think of it, I might need my adrenal glands in the future. Okay, how about this; if you shop me under the table, I'll buy your choice of scented oil and give you a sensuous full body massage. Vice versa if I win." Konoka's eyes lit up at the prospect of a massage from Haruna. She had passed on an opportunity to get one from the servants at Evangeline's resort because she didn't feel comfortable with a stranger's hands - robotic or otherwise - on her body.

"You are SO on."

"No coffee or energy drinks allowed."

"Don't need 'em. I'll make sure to carry your bags for you; I wouldn't want your hands to be in bad shape when I win."

"Such confidence! Maybe I should be worried! All right then... may the best shopper win." Haruna held out her hand and Konoka shook it firmly in the spirit of good sportsmanship. Haruna hesitated to release Konoka's hand; it was warm and soft and she couldn't help but bring it to her lips and lovingly place a gentle kiss atop Konoka's knuckles. Konoka found the gesture so romantic that her heart fluttered. "Kono-chan, I had _the_ most wonderful time with you today. The lovemaking was phenomenal but sitting, eating and chatting with you was every bit as awesome as that."

"I had a great time, too. The phrase 'parting is such sweet sorrow' was only a line from Shakespeare to me before. Now I understand it all too well."

"How cool would it be if you and I were roomies and had a dorm all to ourselves?"

"As lovely as that sounds, I don't think we'd ever get to sleep at any decent hour or get to class on time."

"Heh, I guess you're right. Have a good night, Kono-chan."

"Thanks. You too."

"May I... kiss you good night?" Haruna blushed as she looked up and down the corridor to make sure no one else was around.

"Blushing over asking for a kiss?" Konoka teased with a grin. "All right, who are you and what did you do with Haruna Saotome?" Konoka slowly closed her eyes the closer her face came to Haruna's. Haruna closed her eyes and her lips came in contact with Konoka's so softly that it gave her a chill. This was a completely different kiss than the others. Their puckered lips simply rested upon each other with the gentlest connection. They withdrew from the kiss - seemingly in slow motion - and there they were; two friends turned lovers, face to face. Haruna rested her forehead against Konoka's and smiled warmly. Having feelings for someone was very common in Mahora. Having those feelings returned was far less common and Haruna found the world to be a kinder place than she did on Saturday afternoon before Konoka showed up. The joy she felt in her heart when they were together, the reluctance to leave her, there was no doubt about it - this feeling was love - and Haruna didn't want this shining star to disappear for the night before letting her know how she felt.

"I should go." said Konoka in a hushed tone.

"Okay." said Haruna in a similar tone. "But before you do, I..."

The door to Konoka's dorm opened and Asuna came out with a bag of trash in tow. Konoka and Haruna snapped back into just-friends mode and stood a comfortable distance apart from one another for Asuna's benefit. This made Haruna's heart sink into her stomach and she hoped that this would be the last time they'd have to be discreet over a display of affection.

"Ah, there you are!" exclaimed Asuna. "We were starting to get worried about you. Don't you reply to texts anymore, gossip queen?"

"Sorry, I must've had my phone on silence."

"You? Silence your phone?"

"Oh, hush, Asuna." said Konoka. "I asked her to silence her phone so we could speak to one another uninterrupted."

"Konoka, call or text Setsuna as soon as you can; you left your phone behind and she's been bugging the hell out of me to let her know when you got back. So tell me - did you two kiss and make up?"

Konoka and Haruna looked at one another. Apparently Yue didn't report her findings to Asuna.

"Yeah, we did." replied Haruna. "Friends shouldn't turn their backs on one another the way I did. I was just being stupid. We're totally cool now."

"Did you happen to turn your back on any other friends recently?" Asuna held her hands out at two different heights. "One this tall and the other this tall?"

"Holy crap!" Haruna had completely forgotten to text Nodoka and Yue back to let them know that it was okay to go back home. "So are the bookstore and the forehead here with you?"

"Yep." Asuna turned to shout back inside her dorm. "Honya-chan? Yue-chan? Paru's here to pick you up." Asuna returned her attention to Haruna. "Say hello to Mahora's newest fashionistas!"

Nodoka was wearing Konoka's oversized Honey shirt with the English words on it while Yue was dressed in Negi's Dash Cheese sweatshirt and a pair of his cargo pants. Nodoka and Konoka complimented each other on their selection of outfits from their wardrobes and promised to return them to one another laundered the following day. Haruna chided and poked Yue repeatedly over wearing her crush's clothes. A blushing Yue stood on her tiptoes and whispered into Konoka's ear.

"I didn't tell Asuna about this morning since I figured you'd probably want to tell her yourself. Oh... and that stuff I said about owing us? W-we're even now." said Yue as she folded her arms in a way that looked more like she was hugging herself and she even appeared to be smiling. The time came for everyone to say their thank yous and goodbyes. Asuna dragged Konoka back inside and shut the door behind them. Haruna put her arm around Yue and had her other arm already around Nodoka. She guided them toward the stairwell to get back to their dorm. She wanted to text Konoka so she reached into her pocket and extracted her phone, practically strangling Yue in the process.

Konoka picked up her phone and saw 23 texts from Setsuna and she was in the midst of keying in a reply to the most recent one when a new text came in from Haruna that was marked urgent. She opened it. It read: I LOVE YOU, KONO-CHAN ^v^ BE MY GIRLFRIEND - OR THE ROOMIES GET IT. RAWR! Konoka laughed and wrote back: What girl doesn't dream of seeing those three little words written in an ALL CAPS TEXT MESSAGE? 9_9; Copout much? But... I love you, too, Paru-chan.

Konoka was glad that her plan included unlimited texting since Haruna, who had so tactfully cleared the love confession hurdle, would probably be initiating sexting before long... and if not, then Konoka would initiate it herself.


	5. I Know Who You Did This Summer

The weekend warrior students of Mahora were returning from their Sunday outings and filing back into their dorms for the night to prepare for the school week. A trio of girls walked up the south hall together; one with her arms over the shoulders of the others. Haruna, Nodoka and Yue reached the door to their dorm sooner than Haruna would have liked. She relished every opportunity to embrace her dearest pals and not in an inappropriate way; it was just the way she showed her affection. Haruna lifted her arms off of the shoulders of her oddly dressed companions so that she could find her keys. Nodoka and Yue looked at each other and nodded. The gesture escaped Haruna's notice as she hummed a cheerful tune while unlocking the door and opening it.

"So, uh... Haruna... may we have a word with you before you turn in for the night?" asked Yue.

"The Great Paru-sama acknowledges your request and grants you an audience," replied Haruna. Kicking off her shoes, Haruna removed her jacket, turned on the lights and left the jacket on the coat rack. "I have something to say to you two first, if I may." She was giddy about discussing her new relationship with her best friends and was actually blushing. She took ballerinalike leaps to the couch, leapt into the air, spun 180 degrees in mid-air and plopped her posterior onto the couch's soft cushion. It must have looked silly to her roomies but she was genuinely bursting with joy and could barely contain herself. "After all, it's not every day that I..." Haruna stopped speaking at the sight of Nodoka and Yue who were still standing in the hallway with the door open. "Guys? Why are you- oh, for the love of..." Haruna had forgotten about the handcuffs incident - but Nodoka and Yue had not - and they were waiting a spoken pardon. "Fiiiine." Haruna rolled her eyes and swayed her hand at the wrist to signify the yadda-yaddaness she felt toward this rigamarole. "The Great Paru-sama-in-her-infinite-wisdom-beauty-and-grace-grants-both-of-you-a-full-pardon-from-all-previous-wrongdoings-now-get-over-here-already! _Geeeez._"

Nodoka and Yue breathed a sigh of relief and kicked off their shoes before entering their dorm. Haruna thought that perhaps it was time to drop this Paru-sama business and just go back to being regular old Haruna; keeping up appearances ate up more time than it was worth. Nodoka returned the T-square to Haruna's drawing table and Yue left her cricket bat by the shoe mat. They took a seat on either side of Haruna and quietly folded their hands in their laps.

"Okay, so here's the skinny," began Haruna with a smile, rubbing her hands together.

"The _skinny_?" asked Nodoka.

"Shush," replied Haruna. "So you know that Konoka and I haven't been speaking to one other ever since she dropped the T word on me a few weeks ago. When she visited me on Saturday night, she freed me from the cuffs, apologized and we made up. But then we got to talking... got into a little horseplay... one thing led to another and I...ahh... _you_ know. We both wanted it, we both enjoyed it and it looks like it's likely to keep happening; maybe at her dorm, maybe back here at ours... so if it's not too much of a pain, I'd appreciate it if I could give you a wink or a nudge or something when I need you to... ahh... split for a couple of hours. This must be pretty weird for you but I wanted you two to know that just because I... you know... with Konoka... does not mean that I am going to hit on either of you. She and I are on the verge of a real live exclusive relationship and no other girl is on my radar. You probably already knew that but heaven knows I've given you plenty of reasons to be wary of me over other things so I just wanted to set the record straight. You two are practically my sisters. I love you platonically and respect you and you know that I would never do anything to compromise your comfort level."

Haruna caught Yue raising an eyebrow at that particular statement and she blushed when she remembered how Yue had entered their dorm earlier this morning and saw Konoka and herself sleeping in the same bed while nude. "...um... I'd never do anything to compromise your comfort level a _second_ time. So, in conclusion, I'm the same Haruna that I was yesterday, only 24 hours cooler and blissfully smitten with Konoka. So... any thoughts? Questions? Comments?"

"Wow. Where to start?" pondered Nodoka. "Umm... You said it yourself; we weren't concerned about you making passes at us. And while this is going to take some... serious getting used to, we're your friends first and foremost. If this new relationship with Konoka makes you happy, then we're happy for you..."

"YES!" shouted Haruna. "Eeee! I can't begin to describe to you just how wonderful it is to be in love! I know you love Negi-kun but he's got a ways to go before he's ripe enough to pluck from the tree. Me, I plucked Konoka alllll night long." Haruna repositioned herself on the couch with her back on the seat and her rear end on the back rest. Yue shook her head.

"… and we support you all the way," continued Nodoka. "And, given enough advance notice, Yue and I would be glad to give you some occasional privacy so as to avoid seeing or hearing anything we'd rather not see. Ever. Aheh heh heh." Nodoka smiled and scratched the back of her head nervously.

"Eeee! Thank you! You guys are _AWE_-sooooome," sang Haruna, beaming with delight and wiggling her legs at the thought of making love to Konoka once more while having the place to herself.

"Haruna, I have a question." Yue took in a deep breath. "..._**ARE YOU CRAAAAAAAZYYYYYYY?**_" Haruna closed her eyes and her hair whipped back from the shout.

"Easy, Yue," admonished Nodoka.

"Sorry, Nodoka," replied Yue. "Haruna, answer the question. Are you crazy?"

"No," chuckled Haruna. "Not cuckoo crazy; just crazy in love. Where did that come from?"

"Where did that... you're sleeping with Konoka and Setsuna is going to _kill_ you for it, _that's_ where that came from!"

"Yue, Yue, Yue. Have a little more faith in your Paru. I had some concerns about Setsuna as well but Konoka reassured me that I have nothing to worry about."

"N-NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT? I take back my earlier question! You ARE crazy! What other reason could there be for you not seeing the black cloud hanging over your head? Oh... Aaaaaaaargh." Yue held her head and her eyes went blank. "I need a cinnamon agedashi tofu juice - _right_ now." Yue sprinted over to the refrigerator and grabbed a box of her newest juice from it. She removed the straw from the back of the box, extracted it from its wrapper, punctured the foil circle with it and pounded down half the box in so seamless a motion that it was doubtful that anyone else could repeat the process quite as impressively. Yue inhaled slowly, held her breath and exhaled slowly. She sauntered back to the couch and took a seat. Her heartrate came back down to a respectable level as her inner calm took over. "Ahhhhhh... _that's_ what I'm talking about." The sparkle in Yue's eyes was like sunlight dancing across the ripples of the surface of a lazy lake at sunset. "Nodoka, would you care to explain to this crazy girl why she should be worried? I'm in my place." Nodoka was rather jealous of the way that Yue could attain nirvana simply by drinking juice.

"Haruna, Yue and I were discussing this and while we really do wish you all the happiness in the world, we feel that you should be more worried about your safety than you seem to be." Nodoka looked rather serious so Haruna decided to give her the proper amount of attention.

"All right," said Haruna. "Elaborate." Nodoka nodded and continued to state her case.

"Setsuna is more than just friends with Konoka. She loves Konoka but she's never confessed her feelings to her. She's fiercely protective of her: body and heartl. If you become Konoka's girlfriend, there's no way that Setsuna won't be crushed by that."

"I know all that," said Haruna. "But…"

"Let me finish," continued Nodoka. "What you've done has never happened before. Ergo, there's no precedent for how Setsuna handles heartbreak! So even though Konoka says that you're safe, she simply **does not know that for a fact**. Setsuna's a highly skilled warrior that used to be Negi-sensei's equal on the battlefield and she's a junior high school girl who, despite her cool demeanor, is prone to the same extreme emotional swings as any other heartbroken teenaged girl. Think about that combustible combination for a second. Are you following me so far?"

"Mm-hm." said Haruna.

"Now then..." continued Nodoka. "**You**, Haruna, have... bedded... the girl that she cares about more than **anything**; more than Ala Alba... more than Mahora Academy... more than her own life. And in doing so, you've stolen the heart that she's sworn to protect. Think about _that_ for a second. Now think about all the points I've made and tell me once more that you honestly believe that you aren't in any danger."

Haruna opened her mouth to speak but the counterpoint she had in mind lost its steam when she considered this new perspective that Nodoka gave her. She did this several times, looking more fearful with each failure. An icy fingertip of dread slid down her spine her and, for the first time, she realized that she was in way over her head.

"K-Konoka said that she and Setsuna weren't a couple." said Haruna. She looked to Yue for a bone of salvation to be thrown her way.

"That's true," replied Yue, "but as things were, the possibility that they _could_ become a couple still remained. You're partially responsible for eliminating that possibility. She wouldn't take it out on Konoka so if she doesn't take it out on herself, who does that leave?"

_That leaves me_, thought Haruna. She looked back at Nodoka and then back to Yue.

"I...I-I-I asked Konoka if Setsuna would cut me in half over this and she said she wouldn't. Konoka wouldn't lie to me so I believed her."

"Haruna," said Yue, "even _I_ believe that Setsuna wouldn't cut you in half..." Yue held her hand open in a karate chop and moved it from the center of Haruna's forehead down to her waist to illustrate Yuunagi cutting Haruna in half. "...because that would mean stopping at leaving you in just two pieces. _Sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-sha_." Yue repeatedly slashed at Haruna with her hand-sword at different angles. Haruna envisioned Setsuna in Yue's place slashing away at her limbs with her sword and watching them fall to the ground as they were hacked off.

"**FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!**"

Nodoka and Yue sprang to their feet at the sound of Haruna's startling scream. Haruna held the sides of her head with both hands and bent forward in an airplane crash landing position - although she would have gladly traded her odds of surviving her current situation with those of an airplane crash landing. "FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-ADEAT-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

With tears of panic trailing down her face, Haruna activated her artifact and produced multiple copies of herself. Each Haruna copy dropped F-bombs like clucking chickens and packed Haruna's clothing and other belongings into suitcases at three times the speed of a normal human being. The genuine Haruna was clad in a suit of armor similar to the one Asuna wore in the final battle against Chao. She had curled up into a fetal position on the couch with her right hand between her legs and the thumb of her left hand in her mouth. Her wide teary eyes looked like a pair of large black buttons on her pale face and she sucked on her thumb the same way she did back when she got separated from her parents at a shopping mall at age three. She hoped that she wouldn't do the other thing she did back then; this was a brand new couch.

"_I'd_ say that she gets it now, wouldn't you?" asked Yue, only partially successful at fending off a noticeable grin.

"Oh, hush, Yue," replied Nodoka. "Haruna, calm down! What are these golems doing?"

"What does it look like?" cried Haruna, removing her thumb from her mouth. "They're packing my things. I'm really going to miss you guys," sobbed Haruna. "I'll call you when I get to Canada."

"Canada?" asked Yue. "Wait a minute, Haruna... you're leaving the country? Hear us out first." Yue sat back on the couch and gently touched Haruna's right arm.

"Wait, shmait," wept Haruna. "I'm dealing with someone who has wings... WIIIINGS! I have to account for the greater distance she can cover. Yue, are there any kinds of rare juices which come from Canada that you'd like me to send you when I get there?"

"Eh? Oh! Ummm... Hmm, let me think... Which province? **PWEH!**" Nodoka struck Yue in the face with one of the couch cushions.

"Baka, don't answer her!" said Nodoka. "You can't leave Japan, Haruna! What about Konoka? Are you just going to desert her?"

_Nodoka's right_, thought Haruna. _I can't leave. Not this way. Not when Konoka and I have found something so special in one another._

Haruna frowned and gritted her teeth. Konoka deserved better than to be courted by a coward. Abandoning her fetal position, Haruna got to her feet and then stood on the couch.

"RETURN!" shouted Haruna. The Haruna copies vanished and the luggage fell to the floor. "I REFUSE to run away!" Haruna clenched her fists with determination. "I love Konoka and I'd face any danger to be with her! Nothing is going to get in the way of my relationship; not even Setsuna. She'll either have to deal with that or deal with me. If she tries anything, I have every confidence that Konoka will protect me... or, failing that, I have some confidence that she'll heal me. Or, failing that... huh. She can't heal the dead, can she?"

"No. I'm pretty sure that kind of magic falls under the necromancy category." answered Yue. Try as she might, Yue could not picture the perpetually cheerful Konoka as an accomplished necromancer. The very idea was unsettling.

"Necromancy, right... I knew that. Ah, what am I saying? I'm not going to get killed. It'll all work itself out." Haruna sat back down on the couch and ran her fingers through her hair. I've lived my whole life without fear or regret and I wouldn't be myself if I started now. I won't start a fight with Setsuna but I won't back down from one either. Thank you for talking some sense into me, guys. You may unpack my bags now, Nodoka. I'm not going anywhere."

"Ehhh? Why me?" asked Nodoka.

"Huzzah! Let's hear it for courage, friendship and true love." cheered Yue. She stood and lifting her juice triumphantly before taking a sip. "Haruna, we didn't tell you all of this to scare you... although I must admit that it was a little entertaining to watch you flip out like that. *ahem* Anyway, the reason we told you this was to offer our help."

"You'd... help me against Setsuna?" asked Haruna.

"Of course," replied Yue as she sat back on the couch. "What kind of friends would we be if we let you handle this alone? Nodoka and I aren't without our skills. We'll get you through this somehow, won't we, Nodoka?"

"Yes," said Nodoka. "We told you that we'd support you all the way. Yue can use her artifact to brush up on the crow tribe as well as Shinmeiryu style to learn if they have any weaknesses."

"And if worse comes to worst," added Yue, "Nodoka can lend you her artifact and magical items so that you can read her attacks before she strikes."

"I don't know about this, guys," said Haruna. "She might see your assistance as aiding and abetting a known Paru. I appreciate the offer, _believe_ me... but I wouldn't want to put you in harm's way."

"See, I don't think that would be a problem," theorized Yue. "Setsuna's generally an honorable girl and she wouldn't harm us simply for wishing to keep you safe. It's not as if Nodoka or I were stu- er, _brazen_ enough to sleep with Konoka."

"Plus Negi-sensei wouldn't allow harm to come to any of us," noted Nodoka. "Although I think we should only bother him with this as a last resort."

"Thanks, guys," said Haruna with a small tear beading in the corner of her left eye. Her armor evaporated as its time limit expired. "You're the best friends that a girl in deep shit could ever have. I'm so loved that it's ridiculous! GROUP HUG!" Yue twitched whenever Haruna would request a group hug because, at her height, they always resulted in getting a faceful of Haruna's stupid breasts. She tried to run away but the wily manga-ka moved faster than the speed of hugs. One arm's reach later and, for the hundredth time, Yue's nose became forcefully reacquainted with Haruna's left boob. Nodoka's height advantage kept her face out of the mammary zone so she was spared the humiliation to which Yue was subjected. Nodoka hugged Haruna and patted her on the back reassuringly; oblivious of Yue's tiny flailing arms and legs centimeters away.

"Think nothing of it, Haruna. You'd do the same for either of us, I'm sure," said Nodoka warmly. "I'm so glad that you've made up with Konoka." Tears of joy welled up in Nodoka's eyes just thinking about the reunion of the four members of the Library Exploration Club. "Now that you've made up with our D'Artagnan, we can all go explore Library Island together as the Four Musketeers; the way we used to."

"Yeah!" replied Haruna, releasing her friends. "All for one and one for... Wait, Nodoka... I didn't make up with our D'Artagnan; I_ am_ our D'Artagnan."

"Hm? No, you're our Porthos, remember? Konoka is D'Artagnan, I'm Aramis and Yue is Athos."

"_I'M_ PORTHOS?" balked Haruna. "Who the hell decided THAT?" Haruna was not very happy about being selected as Porthos, the portliest of the Musketeers.

"We all did," said Nodoka. "That one semester in English lit. Remember?"

"_Tech_nically speaking," interrupted Yue, "_I_ should be our D'Artagnan since I met you all when you were already an established trio, just as D'Artagnan met the Three Musketeers."

"Nodoka, pop quiz: _who's_ our D'Artagnan?" asked Haruna.

"I just told you: Konoka is."

Haruna executed a textbook fake-slap to Nodoka's face. Nodoka reacted by yelping and throwing her head back. She rubbed her cheek where Haruna didn't hit her.

"Wrong answer," stated Haruna. "Yue? Same question... and I'll give you a little hint: _it's not Konoka._" Haruna's intense eyes lost their pupils and her hand was ready to correct an error should Yue happen to make one.

"You are." replied Yue, followed by a sigh. The fake slaps were so juvenile and she'd call Haruna anything she wanted if it meant avoiding this non-abuse. Haruna grinned and gave Yue a well deserved pat on the head.

"And they call you Baka Black. Now that we're all safe and happy, c'mere. There's something important that you should know; a little secret info that I should share with my two best friends as thanks for looking out for me." A serious looking Haruna removed her glasses and beckoned Nodoka and Yue to come closer. They weren't sure why Haruna needed to whisper something to them in the privacy of their own dorm but they came closer anyway. Haruna held a hand beside her face to aid in getting her vital message across. "_Scissoring is freaking sweet and I think that you two should try it on each other._"

Nodoka and Yue began to pound the laughing D'Artagnan with the couch cushions.

* * *

><p>Asuna noticed that Konoka was still asleep by the time that she was finished with her early morning pre-paper delivery shower which was unusual since by this time Konoka would be half way done with preparing breakfast for her. Asuna reasoned that Paru probably chewed Konoka's ear off last night and wore her out. This wasn't the end of the world since there was always a backup plan for breakfast. She went to the kitchen and lifted the glass lid from the baked goods dish where a trio of Konoka's homemade sweet potato muffins resided. Asuna took one, replaced the lid and opened the fridge behind her. She found that Negi hadn't finished the last of the roasted barley tea. She poured herself a glass, put away the tea and took an unladylike bite out of the muffin. The muffins were less than a day old and were already starting to lose some of their moisture; time was a thief but never was the theft as heinous as when it stole the freshness from Konoka's food.<p>

She sat on the couch with her glass of tea and her muffin, crossed her legs on the coffee table and watched the sleeping girl, though the room was so dimly lit that she could barely make out her shape. Konoka's tuition was paid up through university level and all without having delivered a single newspaper. It would almost be enough to piss Asuna off if Konoka wasn't the second sweetest girl in all of Mahora. Friendship aside, Asuna felt that Satsuki took first place. Only someone who shared a residence with Konoka would see the various things that she did behind closed doors which cost Konoka "sweetness" points. Ever since Chao's departure, Satsuki lived alone in her dorm and Asuna's mouth watered at the thought of the fresh gourmet multi-course breakfasts to which she'd be treated if she shared a dorm with her. Then again, with Asuna's luck, Satsuki would turn out to be a non-morning person... and who was to say that Satsuki didn't have some hidden quirks of her own?

* * *

><p>[Meanwhile... in Konoka's dream...]<p>

_Konoka walked through the hallway of the Mahora dorms with Setsuna who trailed a few steps behind her. One of their classmates, Satsuki Yotsuba, waved to them as they passed each other and Konoka returned the wave. She didn't think it the least bit odd that Satsuki was dressed up like a squirrel and rolling past her inside a human-sized hamster ball. This school did redefine the term abnormal, after all. She saw Asuna, Nodoka, Yue and Haruna up ahead but not very clearly as the fog in the halls was unusually thick today. They were wearing their school uniforms and discussing something amongst themselves. Konoka spoke up to get their attention._

_"You guys; c'mere a sec."_

_The girls looked at Konoka but they neither spoke nor smiled. All of them had their hands behind their back. Konoka wondered what had her friends so stonefaced when they were always so chipper and animated._

_"Asuna, I need to show something to Setsuna but I need your help. Yours too, guys." Konoka approached Asuna first and placed her hands on her shoulders. Why did this seem so familiar? She turned around to look at Setsuna but could not see her clearly through the fog. She knew she was in there somewhere and so she continued._

_"Are you watching Secchan? See, I can kiss Asuna…chu." Konoka closed her eyes and gave Asuna a gentle peck on the lips. When she opened her eyes, she saw something very strange. Asuna was now wearing a veiled black hat and a black dress, looking as if she had just attended a funeral. Asuna brought her hands out from behind her back and she was holding a single white rose. Her face was flushed as if she had just finished crying. She looked at Konoka and forced herself to put on a brave smile. She silently handed Konoka the rose and rubbed the chocolate-haired girl's upper arm twice in a comforting manner. Konoka was confused by this gesture. Asuna reached under her veil and dabbed her eyes dry with a handkerchief before disappearing into the distant fog. Konoka watched her friend walk away and wondered why Asuna was so sad. Had someone died? She looked back at Nodoka, Yue and Haruna. They seemed to be oblivious to Asuna's instantaneous wardrobe switch. Konoka couldn't help but notice that Haruna was no longer wearing her vest, necktie or blouse. She didn't appear to be bothered by it and Konoka wasn't about to embarrass her by pointing it out. She approached Nodoka and placed her hands on her classmate's shoulders._

_"And Honya-chan... chu." She kissed Nodoka and, just as Asuna before her, Nodoka was now dressed in funeral attire and fidgeting with a single white rose in her hands. Nodoka's eyes were cast downward and she appeared to be fighting back tears. She trembled as she made eye contact with Konoka and found that she could hold her tears back no longer. Nodoka wept profusely, thrusting her white rose into Konoka's hands before running off in typical Nodoka fashion. Konoka turned to watch Nodoka run off but lost sight of her in the fog. Why were her friends crying? Had she done something to upset them? Why was Haruna no longer wearing her skirt, shoes or socks? All she had were questions and she looked to Yue and Haruna for answers but they offered none. Konoka approached Yue next and crouched a bit after placing her hands on the smaller girl's shoulders._

_"And Yue-chan… chu." Yue was so grief stricken post-kiss that she covered her face with both of her hands, pinning the black veil of her hat against her face. She wore dark clothing - some would even say Goth style - so often that the funeral dress she now wore looked very natural on her; almost becoming. She cradled her white rose in the crook of her elbow and she shook her arm to draw Konoka's attention to the rose; her hands still pressed against her face. Like Nodoka and Asuna, Yue didn't say a word. She sniffled from the runny nose brought on by her grief. Konoka gingerly removed the rose intended for her from Yue's arm and slowly reached her other hand out to console her. She withdrew her hand and hesitated for a moment before committing to the act and touching her shoulder. Yue squealed angrily and swatted away Konoka's hand._

_"You told her she was safe when you weren't sure!" shouted Yue. "If you weren't sure, why did you tell her she was safe?" Yue's voice quivered half way though her question and after she asked it, she dropped to her knees and held her face as she bawled uncontrollably. Konoka held her fingertips against her mouth in horror at the realization that whatever had traumatized Yue and the others was somehow her fault. Who was it that wasn't safe? She didn't remember anyone being harmed by her negligence. Her mind felt as if it was clogged with mud and she wished that she could think clearly enough to act. The rising fog concealed Yue and when it passed over her, she was gone. She looked up at where Haruna was just a moment earlier but she too was nowhere to be seen. Konoka then felt a finger tap her on the shoulder and she was so startled that she dropped her roses. She turned around to see Haruna standing there. The taller girl was naked as a jaybird apart from her eyeglasses and she playfully twirled a single red rose in her hands with an inviting smile on her face._

_Konoka returned the smile, relieved to see someone who wasn't a wreck. She was about to ask Haruna why the other girls were so morose when Haruna pressed Konoka's fingers closed around the rose stem and robustly kissed her on the mouth. Konoka sighed and returned the kiss as romantically as she could. There was no doubt in Konoka's mind that this was a textbook kiss; the kind that one feels all the way down to the tips of one's toes. Every girl should receive twenty such kisses a day from their boyfriends or girlfriends. She closed her eyes and held Haruna in a loving embrace. The warmth of her body against her own was sheer heaven; almost womblike in the serenity it garnered. Konoka was now nude herself and while she wondered where her own clothes went, their disappearance was, if notthing else, serendipitous._

_"**OJOU-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"_

_Konoka broke the kiss and spun around to confirm that the person who screamed was Setsuna. She couldn't believe how easily she had forgotten that her best friend was behind her all along. Setsuna was holding what appeared to be four dozen red roses bunched together in an enormous bouquet and she was visibly upset. The trails of her continuous tears glistened on her cheeks and her mouth hung open slightly with her lips curled in grief. Expressions of rage and anguish took several turns on Setsuna's face before finally settling on rage. One of the many teardrops she shed landed on one of her red roses and the petals began to darken and wither one after the other until every rose was black._

_Musical notes which sounded like cats running across piano keys rang out from somewhere in the hallway and Konoka trembled for fear of the girl's wrath. They were closer than sisters and for the first time, Konoka's belief that Setsuna would never harm her had wavered. Suddenly, the roses in Setsuna's hand caught fire and her eyes began to glow a sinister shade of red as she slowly began to walk toward the two nude girls. Setsuna began to speak in tongues which Konoka believed to be some form of crow tribe dialect as it sounded nothing like any human language she'd ever heard. Rivulets of blood poured from Setsuna's eyes and ran down her face where tears once marked their paths. Setsuna opened her mouth and a long curved pointy ebony object came forth from it. It extended about a meter and split in half lengthwise. It was a large crow's beak and it produced a terrifying caw. Konoka took her eyes off of Setsuna just long enough to discover that the warm liquid she felt running down her legs was her own urine._

_Setsuna pointed the burning roses at Haruna and a half dozen roses shot out from the bouquet like so many arrows. The flowers all hit their mark and Haruna was immediately engulfed in flames. The flames subsided almost as quickly as they erupted and Haruna's smoldering remains fell to the ground. Konoka watched her lover collapse from the attack and she screamed as she ran to her side. Haruna was not moving and might have been beyond a full heal spell's ability to help. She frantically tried to summon her artifact but the card would not respond. She also tried to incant several non-pactio dependent healing spells but her magical power would not come to her. No matter what she tried, Konoka was unable to produce any results. Frustrated, she growled and examined her hands and found that they were smaller than before. In fact, everything about her was smaller. Somehow, she was five years old again. Not that that mattered now; her girlfriend had just been murdered before her eyes. Konoka planted her face into Haruna's blackened torso and bawled like a child. Why did this have to happen? If she hadn't gotten involved with Haruna, she would still be alive. Konoka knew that Haruna's death was her fault and she stubbornly refused to turn around to either face or avoid the dozens of flaming roses about to rain down upon her. If Setsuna felt betrayed enough to murder then she'd have to shoot her in the back. She felt the roses strike her spine and her body was consumed by flames, just as Haruna was. She felt a searing pain all over, followed by a bright light... and then the void._


	6. My Best Friend's Bedding

Finishing her muffin and scarfing down the last of her tea, Asuna tied on her bells, threw on her uniform and headed for the door for her commute to work. After making certain that her artifact card was safely tucked away inside her bra, Asuna unlocked the door and opened it to find none other than friend and fellow ministra Setsuna Sakurazaki waiting outside and looking somewhat groggy. She was leaning against the wall opposite their door and, upon seeing Asuna, bowed respectfully.

"Good morning, Asuna-san." Her voice had an air of weariness about it.

"Setsuna?" asked Asuna. "What are you doing up this early?"

"I'm merely keeping watch over Konoka Ojou-sama's door while she sleeps."

"I figured that but what for? Didn't she reply to your text? I did pass on your message."

"Yes, she did and thanks for passing along my message. She did reply... and yet... I've had an uneasy feeling since she ran off Saturday night. It's the longest stretch of time that she and I have been apart since Negi-sensei arrived at Mahora so for my own peace of mind I thought it best to come see her as soon as she was up and about."

"She's actually still asleep. Are you all right? If you don't mind my saying so, you look awful. Did you stay up all night?" Setsuna closed her eyes and scratched the area of her forehead just under her half-bangs.

"Sort of... but that's not important. Since you're here, may I have your permission to come in and watch over Konoka-Ojou-sama?" Setsuna had been given a spare key to their dorm but preferred to use it only for emergencies.

"Sure, go on in. I've got to go to work now." Setsuna bowed in thanks as she walked past Asuna through the doorway. "See you in class. Oh… no groping Konoka while she's asleep, okay?"

"_As if I would do such a thing!_" She swung a wrapped and sheathed Yuunagi at Asuna who easily dodged the attack. Asuna ran down the hallway, giggling at the blushing Setsuna who felt it was bad enough that Konoka was so playful about such naughty acts.

Everyone knew that Konoka was always the one to initiate such things.

Always Konoka.

Never her.

Opting not to dwell on that sad truth, Setsuna entered the dorm and carefully closed the door behind her. Setsuna's eyes could see well enough in low light but there was practically no light in the room at all once the door to the hallway was shut. Flipping on a light switch might wake up Konoka and as it was a quarter to four, the sun wouldn't rise for a while yet. Stumbling around in the dark might cause her to knock something over which would also wake up Konoka. Setsuna utilized her chi to summon a gentle six inch tall flame to hover above the index finger of her right hand. She gingerly approached Konoka's bed and knelt by her side.

There lay Konoka; safe, sound and as beautiful as a fairy tale princess under any lighting conditions. In fairy tales, an enchanted princess could be awakened from a deep sleep with a kiss. While Setsuna wasn't interested in waking Konoka, there was something to be said for the appeal a kiss had. She couldn't possibly bring herself to kiss Konoka. It was too bold a move for her and she would have to be content with waiting for the next time Konoka decided to initiate one... in private.

Konoka's sleeping face was just as adorable as it was when they were little kids and she smiled as treasured memories of those carefree days came back to her. Setsuna sighed contentedly and rested her elbows on the bed while holding her face in her hands. The moment she did so, she promptly jerked her hand away and only partially stifled a yelp of pain as the flame atop her finger had come in contact with her right ear. The flame went out and Setsuna rubbed her ear vigorously, silently cursing herself for once again succumbing to Konoka's uncanny soothing powers. Setsuna was convinced that, in battle, a moment of carelessness such as this could be a fatal mistake - and if the death was her own, she would be getting off lucky.

She felt a a tiny trickle of blood run down her face from the outer corner of her eye and deduced that she must have cut herself with her fingernail when she jerked her hand away from her face. She was about to attend to the cut when she heard Konoka whimper and stir in her sleep. Was she waking up of her own accord or had she disturbed her slumber with the noise she had made? Setsuna relit her chi flame and saw that Konoka was now opening her eyes.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" asked Setsuna as a drop of blood ran down her face and hung off her chin.

[_Those familiar with the comedic timing in anime have guessed correctly that this is right about where Konoka's dream ends._]

Konoka belted out a hysterical scream which made Setsuna leap to her feet and draw Yuunagi. Setsuna shundoed to the light switch and turned it on to scan the room for whatever threat had frightened Konoka. As far as Setsuna could tell, the room was as free from danger as when she had entered. Konoka cried out from the rapid change in lighting and quickly drew her blanket over her face. Setsuna walked backwards in Konoka's direction, ready to defend her in case she might have overlooked a stealthy opponent.

"What is it, Ojou-sama? What's wrong?" asked Setsuna.

_Oh, thank Kami-sama; it was just a dream_, thought Konoka, who was still breathing rapidly.

"Please turn the light off, Secchan," said Konoka. "It's hurting my eyes." Konoka rubbed her eyes free of tears underneath her blanket.

"Oh! I beg your pardon, Ojou-sama." Setsuna turned the light off and walked back to Konoka's bed. "I sensed no danger here. What caused you to scream like that just now?" Konoka turned on her bedside table lamp and used the dimmer switch to bring it down to a tolerable level.

"You did," replied Konoka, pinching herself in the event that this was that most dreaded of occurrences: the "thinking you're awake" dream. "You startled me. I wasn't expecting to see you - or an open flame in my face - when I awoke." Konoka closed her eyes and flopped onto her back. "Whewwww... my heart's still racing."

"_I_ startled you?" Setsuna sheathed her weapon and sat on the floor. "That's odd; I've been by your side when you awoke many times and you've never been startled by me before. What's got you so skittish, Ojou-sama?"

The question was easier asked than answered. Clearly this was not the time to blurt out that she and Haruna were going to be a couple.

"I'm..." Konoka thought for a moment before speaking again in a deep froggy voice and making a funny face to mimic an older person. "I'm a bundle of nerves since I quit smoking." Setsuna sputtered with laughter from Konoka's obviously false statement.

"Today's Ojou-sama is silly. You've never smoked a cigarette in your life. You don't even let your father light one near you. Anyway, I apologize for startling you, Ojou-sama... but as long as you're up, might I inquire as to why you took as long as you did to reply to my text messages?" Konoka remembered the remark which Haruna made about needing Setsuna's 'permission' and her eye twitched at the motherly question.

"I'm sorry, Secchan. I was sleeping over at Haruna's and...I lost track of time." Konoka panicked under pressure and gave Setsuna half of the truth.

"Lost track of time? You lost track of almost twenty four hours? Ojou-sama, it's my sworn duty to protect you and your absentmindedness made that duty that much harder. We've been over this before. I realize that you had issues to resolve with Saotome-san and I try my hardest to give you your space within reason but you really should have checked in with me so that I needn't have worried. I haven't slept since Friday night."

"Since... _Friday night_? You mean you've been awake _all this time because of me_?"

"How could I sleep when I didn't know that you were safe? When you're asleep in your room and either Asuna-san or Negi-sensei are present, _that's_ when I can relax enough to sleep. Despite having a versatile artifact, Saotome-san has virtually no hand-to-hand combat skills and she's ill-suited to the task of protecting you."

Haruna.

Konoka's girlfriend-in-waiting.

There was that sour stomach again. Konoka smoothed her palm over her forehead.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again. Please excuse me, Secchan… I've got to shower and get ready for the day. Help yourself to a muffin and cold tea." This was earlier than Konoka usually began to get ready for school but Setsuna decided not to call attention to it.

"I do believe that I'll take you up on your offer. I thank you for your hospitality, Ojou-sama." Setsuna bowed respectfully to Konoka and Konoka couldn't help but smile and she placed a kiss atop Setsuna's head before heading to the bathroom. Setsuna blushed and rubbed the spot on her head where Konoka had kissed it. She watched Konoka disappear around the corner before happily sauntering over to the kitchen to have one of Konoka's homemade muffins. _The day that Konoka begins keeping store bought baked goods in the goodies tray_, thought Setsuna, _will be a sad one, indeed._

Konoka closed the bathroom door behind her and sighed deeply. She scrunched her eyes shut, turned around and gently tapped her forehead against the door. The bad dream she had was over but now she would have to deal with a sleeping giant. Why was this so difficult? And why was she feeling so guilty? She turned on the hot water, removed her clothing and stepped into the stall. She shut the stall door and as the water washed across her face, feelings of guilt gave way to memories of the sexy shower she took with Haruna on Sunday afternoon. Konoka thought better of mentioning her new relationship with Haruna to Setsuna while she was sleep deprived and possibly in a sour mood. It was at this moment that an idea came to Konoka; one which Setsuna would certainly enjoy.

Setsuna took a bite out of her muffin and carried both it and her glass of tea over to the couch where she took a seat. She smiled and looked up at the ceiling, pondering how fortunate she was. She had many friendly colleagues, attended a prestigious school and was a competent warrior who protected the girl to whom she owed all of these blessings. She heard Konoka blowdrying her hair in the bathroom and knew that she'd be coming back out soon. Back during the Mahora Festival, Setsuna thanked Negi for his involvement in her life and all of the things he had done for her and it had occurred to her that she had never thanked Konoka in a similar fashion. She decided that when Konoka came out of the bathroom, she would express her sincerest gratitude. Perhaps she could even bring herself to seal it with a kiss. It wasn't as if Konoka would take it the wrong way. Setsuna traced figure eights with her right index finger into the couch armrest.

"Secchan, I was thinking about you while I was in the shower."

"Y-You were?" Setsuna blushed, grateful to have swallowed her last draught of tea prior to hearing Konoka's sentence.

"Yes. I was the one who was careless by forgetting to contact you and you end up suffering for it by staying awake. _I_ know... would you like me to talk to grandpa and have you excused from classes today so that you can catch up on sleep?"

"Oh, no, that's all right," replied Setsuna, setting her empty glass on the coffee table. "I've undergone sleep deprivation training and could go as long as a week without sleep if I had to, not that I would look forward to such a stretch. So thank you for your offer, Ojou-sama, but I can function well enough to attend classes with you."

"Are you suuuure? You could sleep right here in _my_ bed if you'd like."

Konoka's bed.

The bed that was rich with Konoka's heavenly scent.

The sacred altar of Konoka worship.

"_Y-Your_ bed, you say?" This was too good to be true. Setsuna covered her mouth and she let out an exaggerated yawn. "Well, I suppose that there would be no harm in a brief nap of two... maybe _nine_ hours... Are you sure it's not too much trouble?"

_Please say yes please say yes please say yes_, thought Setsuna.

"Yes, I'm sure," replied Konoka. "It's the least I can do to make up for my inexcusable behavior. Grandpa's an early riser. I'll just pay him a visit, tell him about your condition and maybe have a game of Go before class starts."

"Very well, then. I'm sure Asuna will alert me should anything happen requiring my assistance. I humbly accept your hospitality once more. Thank you very much, Ojou-sama." Setsuna walked briskly to Konoka's bed.

"You're welcome, Secchan... and feel free to borrow some pajamas so that you don't get your uniform all wrinkly. See you after school. Oh! I almost forgot; pleasant dreams." Konoka smiled and waved at Setsuna from behind the door before closing it behind her.

Setsuna listened for Konoka's footsteps to fade away. Once Konoka had reached a minimum safe distance, Setsuna mouthed the word _itadakimasu_, bowed deeply and plowed her face into Konoka's pillow. She inhaled so deeply through her nostrils that when she stood back upright, the pillow was still on her face via nasal vaccuum. She exhaled gently through her mouth which had a drop of drool forming in its corner; the pillow falling back onto the bed. If the scent of Konoka's shampooed hair could be manufactured and sold in a bottle, Setsuna shuddered to ponder to what depths she would not sink in order to get her daily fix. She snorted the pillow repeatedly, bobbing her head up and down like a novelty drinking bird. Once Setsuna had had her fill, she blissfully floated over to Konoka's dresser to look for some sleepwear.

Setsuna would have loved nothing more than to slide into Konoka's bed buck naked but even in her inebriated state she knew that was beyond inexcusable. She took a pair of pajamas from Konoka's dresser, let down her hair and removed her uniform along with her binding and bike shorts. She was about to put on the pajamas when something caught her eye. It was the nightgown that Konoka wore Saturday night, a corner of which peeked out of Konoka's clothes hamper. Setsuna stroked her chin as a thought brewed in her mind. Konoka said that Setsuna could wear some pajamas; she never said that they needed to be washed ones from her drawer. Besides, Konoka's used clothes were cleaner than some students' clean clothes. If questions arose, Setsuna could pass this off as simply not wanting to dirty up a clean pair of Konoka's pajamas.

_Yeah, that's the ticket_, thought Setsuna.

She slid the nightgown over herself and halfway through putting it on, she detected a scent other than Konoka's on the fabric. She lifted the chest portion of the gown and brought it to her nose, sniffing it in various spots and it was strongest on the front. She couldn't place it at first but her keen sense of smell finally recognized it as Haruna's scent. There must have been a fair amount of close contact between them for a whole day to pass and have her scent still be this prominent in the fabric. Did they sleep in the same futon during their sleepover? The potency of the manga-ka's unwelcome odor was desecrating the bed but she was too sleepy and too comfortable to change into the pajamas she had originally selected. A wave of serenity overtook the exhausted Setsuna. She turned off the light, plopped into bed, pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes. She was asleep for all of five minutes when she awoke from the sound of the front door opening followed by two soft clicks a second apart from one another. Her eyelids, along with the rest of her body, had never felt so heavy and she was barely able to make out Konoka's silhouette.

* * *

><p><em>Eh? Ojou-sama must have forgotten something.<em>

_She's coming closer. Was it something she left by her bed? Or on the bed? Perhaps I should get up._

_Hmm? Why is she pressing my shoulders down? Oh, she doesn't want me to get up. And... she's putting her finger on my lips? Why would she not want me to speak? Negi-sensei and Chamo-san aren't here. I'll remain silent for... now?_

_She's lifting the covers and... why is she crawling in with me? Is she still sleepy? I really should get up..._

_OH MY GOD, SHE'S TAKING OFF MY PANTIES! Ojou-sama... _

_She wouldn't. SHE WOULDN'T._

_SHE IS! THAT'S OJOU-SAMA'S TONGUE ON MY...!_

_Ojou-sama... this is so sinful... so naughty... so indecent... I take that last one back; she's actually very decent at this! Ohhh, Ojou-sama... I never would have dreamed that you would do this. Did you study the crow tribe's traditions? You must have! Why else would you do this? Oh, and I accept, my precious angel! My feelings finally got through to you! You love me! And I lo- Whoa... WHOA... Please don't stop, Ojou-sama, you do this so well! You were wise to silence me. If you hadn't, I would have been moaning out loud like a... WHOAAAAAA...My body... this feeling of pleasure building up... Is this...? It has to be! Joy of joys... IT IS!_

_KONO-CHAAAN!_

* * *

><p>Had Setsuna's first orgasm been heralded by musical accompaniment, the song would most certainly have been Ode to Joy. Air raced in and out of her lungs as her hips bucked. Her body trembled as if she was in the throes of electrocution but this was the exact opposite of pain. The sweet honey of ecstasy flowed from her vagina down to her sphincter and she twitched as she felt Konoka's warm tongue naughtily lap up the spillage. She closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth which was welded into a smile as her lover emerged from the blanket and made a beeline for the front door; most likely to head off to class. Setsuna was thankful that she decided to pass up on as much sleep as she had, otherwise this opportunity might never have presented itself. While her orgasm was certainly everything that her classmates had made one out to be, she was bothered by two things: the infection of Haruna's uncanny scent invading her nostrils which marred an otherwise perfect atmosphere and her warrior's spirit nagging at her for surrendering control. Once her heart rate slowed down to a normal pace, neither of these things bothered her so much as to keep her awake and she went back to sleep with pleasant thoughts of how she would happily return the favor - and of the ceremony to come.<p>

* * *

><p>Konoka sat on her classroom desk as she finished her conversation with Asuna who went back to her own desk. When the time came, Asuna would be far easier to confide in about her relationship compared to Setsuna - although Setsuna would have to be the first person she told. Konoka got up from her desk and walked over to Nodoka. They swapped bags containing each others' borrowed clothes from the other night.<p>

"Have you seen Haruna today?"

"No, I haven't. She was in our dorm when Yue and I went to sleep last night but when we woke up, she was gone."

"Gone? Haruna the night owl?"

"Yes, it's so strange. We suspected foul play at first but there wasn't any sign of a break-in. Still, what with your new relationship being a wild card factor, the old Haruna patterns may no longer apply. She might have something special planned for you today." Konoka beamed at the chance that this might be true. "Konoka? I... need to ask you something and I hope you won't be offended by my question."

"Sure. I'm not easily offended. What is it?"

"Do you... really love Haruna?" Konoka nodded enthusiastically in response.

"Yes, I really do. I've loved her as a friend and now it's just on a different level; a better one, if you ask me. Why did you think that your question would offend me?"

"It's just that... I look after all of my friends. I'd have asked Haruna the same question about you if she hadn't already told me that she genuinely loved you. I've never seen her quite this happy before and I want to make sure that her happiness is built on true feelings rather than… a moment of curiosity or a flight of fancy."

"This is why you are such an amazing person and an even more amazing friend." Konoka smiled and gave Nodoka a brief neck hug. "I can see how you and others might see my relationship with Paru as being capricious but you needn't worry. I can only tell you that the feelings I have for her are real."

"And what about Sakurazaki-san? She still has feelings for you. Do you still have feelings left over for her?"

Konoka was floored by the question and her face gave it away. She looked into her heart and saw that she still had very strong feelings for Setsuna. How could she not? Setsuna had been her first friend, protector and champion. Konoka hesitated to formulate a reply in a timely manner and she gave up when it was apparent that she had said more by saying nothing at all. Nodoka smiled weakly and shook her head.

"Konoka, your heart, if you'll forgive the bookstore humor, has always been an open book. If there's one person on whom I'll never need to use my artifact, it's you. You've told me what I wanted to know and I suspect you've also told yourself what you needed to know. As such, I hope you'll forgive me if I make my own determination as to whether or not I still need to worry."

"I'm sorry," sighed Konoka.

"There's no reason to be sorry," replied Nodoka. "I didn't expect you to discard a decade's worth of love and admiration overnight. As long as you don't act on those feelings, there's no harm done. My advice to you, as both your friend and Haruna's friend, would be to do a little more soul searching to know what it is and who it is that you want before rushing to make a commitment. I think that we can both agree that all involved deserve at least that much. Also, Yue and I were talking about Setsuna possibly... ah, we'll talk about that later; Haruna just came in."

Konoka turned around and saw that Haruna had just entered the classroom. Haruna scanned the girls of Class 3-A and found Konoka among them which immediately brought a cheerful smile to her face. Konoka smiled back, excused herself and walked over to her. There was something oddly exciting about having a secret lover amidst the rest of her classmates.

"Good morning, Paru," said Konoka.

"Just _good_, huh?" asked Haruna. "Seemed better than good to me. Still... betcha weren't expecting _that_, eh?"

"Expecting what? For you to get here this late to class? No, I wasn't. You usually show up before class to gossip for a half an hour. If you like, I'll let you go see the cheerleaders if you want a recap; from the way they're carrying on today I'd wager that that they've got some juicy stuff."

"No, not that. _You_ knowwww... this morniiiiing?"

"What about 'this morning'? Did we have something planned before class that I've forgotten? If so, I'm sorry but I don't remember."

"_Don't _be coy. You know perfectly well what I mean."

"I'm not being coy. If I knew what you meant, I wouldn't be _asking_ you what you meant."

"_Come _on. Geez, are you going to make me say it here in class?"

"Say _what_ here in class, Paru?" Haruna's unusual behavior made Konoka more nervous by the second. She didn't offer her ear to Haruna for a whisper in case this was some trick to suck on her earlobe - which would be a nightmare for the rest of the day.

"You know..." Haruna muttered between clenched teeth. "...when I snuck into your dorm early this morning and ate you out. Happy now? Hey, I don't see Setsuna anywhere. Did you talk with her already?"

Konoka's world lost all of its color at Haruna's clarification. She was struck speechless and every internal organ Konoka possessed felt as if they collapsed into a pile in her ankles. Haruna raised an eyebrow and wondered why Konoka seemed to be so upset. With tears in her eyes, Konoka grabbed Haruna's vest with both hands and shook the girl vigorously.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! YOU ATE OUT SECCHAAAAN!" All of the other girls in class immediately turned around to look at what had caused Konoka to yell. It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Konoka had just drawn attention to herself with some very risqué words and would have to utilize some quick thinking to draw it away from herself. "SZECHUAN!" continued Konoka. "YOU ATE SZECHUAN TAKE OUT!" Konoka continued to shake Haruna. "AT THAT NEW RESTAURANT OUTSIDE OF TOWN! THAT'S... AMAZING! I'M SO JEALOUS, HARUNA! LET'S DISCUSS THIS FURTHER OUT IN THE HALLWAY!" Konoka's classmates appeared to be convinced that they misheard what Konoka had shouted the first time and went back to their own conversations. Konoka grabbed Haruna by the necktie and dragged her into the hall out of view of their classmates.

"Take it easy, Konoka. What's all this about a Szechuan restaurant- OW? The hell?" Haruna rubbed her shoulder where Konoka punched her.

"There _is_ no restaurant!" exclaimed Konoka, whose face was marked with tear trails. "I made it up! Haruna... that wasn't _me_ you ate out in my bed this morning... that… was… _Secchan_!"

Haruna's eyes slowly grew to the size of saucers and her jaw dropped as she deciphered Konoka's words.

"You mean that I... but why would... oh, my God... I just assumed that... it was dark... I didn't see..." Haruna staggered as she nearly lost her footing from the shock. She planted a palm against the wall to help steady herself. Then, as her wooziness increased, she placed her other hand against the wall to keep herself from falling over. She wanted to run back to her dorm and summon her golems to repack her things but she could barely take two steps without the assistance of a sturdy vertical surface. _This is it_, thought Haruna. Any chance that she had of getting through this unscathed had just been flushed down the toilet.

"She must have been half asleep, thought you were me and let you take advantage of her! What the hell made you think it was okay to sneak into my dorm?" Konoka would have asked how she got into the dorm but she deduced that she simply used her artifact to draw a skeleton key. She hung her head in despair as she awaited Haruna's answer.

"I just wanted to surprise you with some fun! I saw Asuna leaving for work from my dorm's window and Negi-kun and Chamo-kun were gone so I didn't see the harm! I thought you'd think it was kinky! I didn't intend to do that to... Setsuna! That's it; I'm a dead girl. She's going to kill… hold on a second..." Haruna grabbed Konoka's vest and gave her a shake. "W_hy_ was Setsuna in YOUR bed in the first place? Don't tell me that you two...?"

"_No_, baka! Secchan was in my bed because she hadn't slept since Friday night. I had the idea to get her to rest in my bed so that she'd be in a better mood when I told her about... us... are you crying?"

"You called me a baka." Haruna sniffed.

"_That's_ why you're crying? I've called you a baka before. Who in our class hasn't at one time or another?" Haruna shook her head.

"That was before. We weren't in love before. To be called a baka by the one you love... it hurts, y'know? And you're angry with me because I fucked up." Haruna removed her glasses and wiped her eyes.

Konoka was so frantic over this new development that she had forgotten that this wasn't just Paru. This was her soon-to-be official girlfriend and she was already treating Haruna like crap. She'd have to choose her words more carefully now that Haruna had a thinner skin than before. A part of her wished that the Haruna made of harder stuff was still around.

"Paru-chan... Look, I'm sorry I called you a baka. You bowled me over with this and I lost it. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Come here." Konoka comforted Haruna with a hug.

"It wouldn't hurt if it wasn't true," sobbed Haruna. "I went down on some other girl. You can't get more baka than that."

It was a few seconds earlier that Natsumi happened to walk past Konoka and Haruna on her way to homeroom. Why fate deemed it necessary for Natsumi to have caught Haruna's graphic admission she did not know. What Natsumi did know was that their class might want to organize more mixers; weekly ones, if possible.

"Shhh. It was a mistake. I believe you and I forgive you." Konoka began to stroke Haruna's hair consolingly.

"Thank you, Kono-chan."

"Still, this situation poses a real problem. I was going to bide my time and pick the right day and time to tell Secchan about us. Now that she thinks I'm her lover, I'm left with no choice but to come clean with her this afternoon after class - and I want you to be with me when I do."

"_Are you high_? You can't tell Setsuna that I went down on her!"

"Well, _one_ of us has to! I'm not going to let Secchan believe that _I_ ate her out before declaring that you're my new girlfriend! She'd never forgive me!"

"Like she'll forgive me? You know her better than I do; couldn't I just text her an apology? Like, say, from a moving train headed to Tokyo?"

"Haruna... would you really rather be far away from me when I tell her what you did? I can't shundo or fly like Secchan so if she takes off in a fit of anger to find you, I'd never be able to catch up to her. If you're by my side, I'd at least have a chance to call her off."

"Hah! 'Call her off', she says!" One calls off a pit bull, not their best friends. Geez. You know, this is not what I signed up for when you told me she wasn't your girlfriend."

Konoka's eyes opened widely and Haruna knew that she had just verbally stepped in it.

"Are you trying to lay the blame for this on _me_? _That's_ nice, Haruna. You would have been fine if you had just played it cool but no-o-o-o-o, you ha-a-a-a-ad to break into my room and complicate matters."

"I already told you that I didn't intend for that to happen," said Haruna.

"Yeah! I didn't intend for this to happen at the time that you 'signed up' for this and yet here I am dealing with this the best way that I know how for our mutual benefit... for our future together as girlfriends... and you're ready to turn tail and leave me to fend for myself! How is that supposed to make me feel?"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm scared for my safety! "

"I know that and I'm trying to help you because I love you and because we're in this together but..." Haruna's heart began to hurt when she felt the inflection in Konoka's voice. "...if you can't support me... if you won't meet me half way and you regret your involvement with me, then maybe we should just..."

"Um, maybe you should just both come into the classroom? Please?" Konoka and Haruna turned their heads and saw that Negi was standing in the doorway to the classroom, wearing a cheerful smile. "Pretty please?" Negi returned to the classroom and it appeared as though class was being held up by their absence.

"I need to tell Nodoka and Yue about this," said Haruna. She walked toward the classroom door and whipped out her cell phone. Konoka quickly put a hand over the phone and shook her head.

"No," said Konoka. "Not one other person must know what you did to Setsuna. She'll be mortified enough over this with just the two of us knowing. Promise me that you won't tell anyone else." Haruna sighed and nodded in agreement.

"I promise," mumbled Haruna.

"Thank you," said Konoka. "Now let's go to class."

The two girls pensively walked into the classroom, their hearts heavy with concern over what the future would bring them.


	7. The Sin I Live In

_(I'd like to give an arigato gozaimasu shout out to writer/reviewer Zefie Kirasagi for planting the seed which gave me the idea for the first scene in this chapter. Those of you who are blessed with best friends know that best friends mess with one another. It's how they sometimes show their love. Please keep that in mind should you find yourself compelled to make an OOC accusation for the second scene. Remember, this is a fanfic and not the rewriting of the official Negima! Bible. I must confess that I've grown quite fond of writing Yue into this story and fans of hers will be happy to hear that she is going to have a much more prominent role in Between 13 and 15 than I had initially planned.)_

The final bell signifying the end of the school day rang out sooner than Konoka Konoe and Haruna Saotome would have preferred. Neither of them had the slightest clue as to what any of their teachers' lessons had covered this day; they were far too preoccupied with their upcoming appointment with Setsuna to concentrate on their studies. Their lunch period was much the same. What little food they ate was no more flavorful than wet toilet paper and styrofoam packaging peanuts. Class was over and the time came for them to do what had to be done. The closest friends among 3-A's students who were seated apart from one another took their usual paths toward each other for another helping of gossip and chit chat. Haruna frowned, jealous of her classmates' freedom from responsibility and lack of impending doom. Both Konoka and Haruna sent texts to members of their respective clubs, informing them that they would not be present for club activities this afternoon. After sending her text, Konoka accessed her cell's received messages and reread a text sent to her by Setsuna which she had received during 3rd period.

_**Well rested and relaxing at your dorm. Arranged for your roomies to stay with Nodoka- san tonight. We've much to discuss. Please return after class ASAP.**_

Konoka chose to save that text as it might be the last one she would ever receive from Setsuna. She fought back tears as she recalled every pleasant memory she'd ever had with Setsuna from childhood to modern day. Konoka had never wanted to hurt anyone and yet, before day's end, she would cause her very first friend more pain than the girl would ever feel. What had Konoka become if she was prepared to potentially throw all of that away? Was she even Konoka Konoe any longer? And how was she able to go along with this metamorphosis if it wasn't a change for the better?

While Konoka was fiddling with her phone, Haruna approached Yue and Nodoka and informed them that she was going to accompany Konoka and confront Setsuna right away. When asked why she was doing this so soon, Haruna, in keeping her promise to Konoka, did not divulge the reason behind this hasty confrontation. While this secrecy troubled them, Yue and Nodoka vowed to do their best to find a means for Haruna to defend herself against Setsuna and would have their results for her by the end of the night. They promptly set out for Library Island to begin their research and Haruna smiled as she watched her two little soldiers exit the classroom. She turned around and saw Konoka standing by her side, waiting for her with bookbag in hand. The chocolate-haired girl's forlorn eyes asked Haruna rhetorical question: _Shall we go? _With a sigh that signified anything but relaxation, Haruna walked to her desk, grabbed her bookbag and followed Konoka out through the classroom door.

The locker room was always a hotbed of gossip and both Konoka and Haruna often took part in the chatterfest with the other girls. Today, they would not be participating in the chit chat but the Narutakis didn't know that. The twins circled their gloomy and untalkative classmates and tried to get a rise out of them but failed to obtain much more than a smirk. Believing that they would not fare any better no matter how much effort they put forth, Fuuka and Fumika ran off in search of more responsive classmates. In her current mood, Haruna found the numerous voices to be tinny and cacophanous. She wondered if they always sounded this way and she had simply never noticed it until now. Konoka and Haruna fetched their shoes from their lockers, left their indoor ones in their place and sat on the benches to put on their outdoor shoes. As Konoka finished tying her shoelaces, she was glad that she hadn't rollerbladed to the train station this morning because she was in no condition to skate now. With no good reason left for them to tarry, they headed for the exit where they would start their walk to the train station.

The weather today was cruel but fair. A cool breeze kissed away the harsh beatdown of the summer heat and a few courageous cloud formations fought to shield the caravan of Mahora students from too much direct sunlight. It was the kind of weather that was just remarkable enough for Konoka to confirm its remarkability with her friend Setsuna. The girl currently by her side was Haruna, however, and she was fairly certain that Haruna could only see a storm cloud ahead. Konoka looked at her worried lover walking and smiled. She held her hand out to Haruna and waited to see what she would do. Haruna saw Konoka's extended hand and smiled softly. She took the gentle hand into her own and placed a soft kiss upon the back of it. Konoka smiled widely and silently gave Haruna a passing grade. There was no hesitation on Haruna's part to take her hand. No nervous fidgeting, no embarrassment and no mention of how this sort of thing shouldn't be done between two girls. Haruna wasn't given any direction or cue to kiss her hand after she took it. She showed initative and expressed her love fearlessly. This was all that Konoka had ever wanted from a girlfriend or boyfriend. Sadly, it was also what Setsuna seemed unable to give. Konoka felt that perhaps letting Setsuna go was for the best. Perhaps the Shinmei warrior would someday find someone around whom she could feel comfortable enough to do what Haruna had done so effortlessly. The thought of Setsuna sharing that level of happiness with that special someone made her very happy.

Each step they took which brought them closer to the train station became increasingly difficult. The majority of students heading in the same direction walked at a brisker pace than Konoka and Haruna. As luck would have it, a train pulled up the moment they arrived on the platform. As they waited their turn to enter the train, Haruna thought of slipping back out through the closing doors at the last second, essentially leaving Konoka to handle Setsuna on her own. Seeing as how pulling such a stunt would result in two girls out for her blood instead of one, she reconsidered the flawed strategy. Just before she passed through the doors, a breeze caressed Haruna's hair as if to tell her that it was aware of her plight and wished her good luck. Once all the passengers were aboard, the train left the station and began its trip to the Mahora dorms.

Haruna looked around to see if they shared the same car with any of their classmates. The car was somewhat crowded and the only familiar face in the sea of passengers was Ayaka's. The class rep's intense gaze was fixed on her phone and she meticulously tapped away at the phone's screen with its stylus. She was most likely playing her Negi-sensei Talking Strip Poker game - a game which she had commissioned Hakase to program for her - which would have explained why she had walked at a pace leisurely enough to have caught the same train as Konoka and Haruna. Ayaka wasn't smiling so she must have hit a run of bad luck despite having borrowed several books from Library Island on how to win at poker. At one of 3-A's most recent gossip sessions, Natsumi told Haruna that when Ayaka played this game in their dorm and was losing, Ayaka would cheerfully remove an article of her own clothing to match the virtual loss of her clothes in the game. Unbeknownst to Ayaka, Hakase had programmed the game to restart following the confirmation of Ayaka's winning hand if virtual Negi-sensei was down to his boxers. Since Ayaka consistently passed out from nosebleeds at the _exact moment_ that such a game winning hand was confirmed, she was none the wiser.

The train car was nearly filled to capacity and neither Konoka nor Haruna were able to secure a seat. Haruna scored a standing spot next to the far door to get a good view and to avoid the sunbeams crashing through the windows on the other side. The crowd of passengers gave Konoka an opportunity to snuggle up against Haruna's back without arousing suspicion. Haruna grinned and wished that she could turn around, put her arms around Konoka and give her the most romantic kiss that she could give. Konoka had no problem with sharing friendly kisses with her classmates but Haruna was figuratively in a different class and the kiss Haruna had in mind to give her was best saved for when they were indoors. Instead, Haruna settled for turning around and facing her beloved. To behold Konoka's beautiful eyes had plenty of merit in and of itself.

"Thank you for agreeing to do this with me, Paru-chan," said Konoka. "If it's any consolation, I really do hate playing hard ball - with you or anyone."

"For someone who hates playing hard ball, I must say that you play it quite well," noted Haruna. She didn't intend her words to be taken as a barb but Konoka took it as a mild one.

"But you know me, though. I'm not usually this high strung. This will be the hardest part, Paru-chan. Once we've confronted Secchan, we can tell everyone else about us and the rest should be easy." Konoka fixed a few stray hairs of Haruna's that had been blown out of place by the breeze. "How are you feeling?"

"How am _I_ feeling?" asked Haruna. "I feel like I'm about to tell an armed swordswoman that I accidentally administered oral sex to her and that the girl she loves is now my girlfriend; that's how I'm feeling." Haruna closed her eyes and sighed. Konoka held Haruna's left hand in her right hand. These were their far hands so no one could see this contact. They interlocked fingers and looked into each other's eyes. Konoka was smiling and Haruna, having no defense against such a formidable weapon, smiled back.

"Don't worry, Paru-chan. No matter what happens, I will pro- ...protect you." Konoka averted her eyes as she recalled the origin of the words she had just spoken. Setsuna had made that same declaration to her on numerous occasions. As she reflected on Setsuna, Konoka remembered something that she was going to ask Haruna about this morning's events. "Paru-chan, something's been bugging me. I know that you didn't see or hear Secchan when she was in my bed but... not to be crude but... how is it that you couldn't tell that Secchan wasn't me by the difference in... Um, the difference in..."

"Flavor?" asked Haruna.

"Yeah, that," replied Konoka. She took care not to use potentially embarrassing words in public despite plenty of white noise emanating from the train.

"Who said that you had different flavors?" asked Haruna. "Maybe you're very similar. Would you care to explain how you came to know that she has a different flavor from you?" Haruna feigned anger and jokingly readied a fist to bonk Konoka on the head for her infidelity. The gesture made Konoka smirk, roll her eyes and shake her head.

"I've never done that to Secchan and you know it," replied Konoka. "I told you Saturday night that you were my first and only. Also, if you could lower your voice just a decibel or three, I would appreciate it."

"Oh, no one's going to hear us over this noise," said Haruna. "I was just ribbing you. I know that I'm your first and only. Setsuna did have a different flavor than yours... and speaking of which, would you like to know which of you tastes better?"

"That depends." said Konoka, whose head now sported a bulging vein which belied her smiling face. "Would _you_ like to know how a puroresu octopus hold feels?"

"Ah heh heh... not especially, no. As I was saying, I did notice a difference in taste but as long as there wasn't a rank flavor or a rank smell, it didn't make a difference to me... and since you're the queen of clean freaks, I don't have to worry about a rank _anything_ from you. At the time, I had every reason to believe that it was you in your bed so I wasn't going to stop over a little thing like a difference in flavor. My logic was simple: why bother mentioning it? Whether it's strawberry or vanilla, one simply does not turn down ice cream."

"I can see that," said Konoka. She grinned at her determined-to-please lover. "I've never had my you-know-what compared to ice cream before. It's quite flattering."

"Babe, you're way tastier than ice cream. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind Baskin' in your Robbins again later tonight. What do you say? My dorm? Around 20:00?" Konoka smiled widely and gave the thought some serious consideration but she then remembered their appointment with Setsuna and rapidly shook her head to snap herself back to reality.

"Naughty Paru-chan," scolded Konoka. "You are the enemy of focus; did you know that?"

"So they tell me. Furthermore, flavors fluctuate with one's diet. I know mine does -especially after I've eaten something pungent like garlic. So for all I knew, you were just having an off... day?" Haruna looked at Konoka and knew that her saucer-wide eyes indicated that she was stunned by something Haruna had said. "Konoka? What's wrong?"

"_You've... *gulp* tasted your own juice?_" asked Konoka through chattering teeth.

"Yeah," admitted Haruna. "You mean to tell me that you've _never_ tasted your own?"

"Ewww! No!" cried Konoka.

"Wow. Really? Where's your sense of curiosity?"

"I'm not curious about being gross!" The train came to a stop and the doors opened. This was their stop and they exited the train along with dozens of other students.

"What's so gross about it?" asked Haruna. "You've tasted my juice and you told me that you love the _flwvw._" Konoka clasped her small hands over Haruna's big mouth which no longer had the advantage of the white noise from the moving train to muffle the saucy words that came out of it.

"Would you _keep..._ your _voice..._ _down?_" begged Konoka.

"Sorry. I just find it so odd that you would think that I taste good without having sampled your own beforehand for comparison's sake. Wow, I sure lucked out, huh? Were you being truthful when you told me that you loved my flavor?"

"Yes, of course I was."

"Okay, and on my non-garlic, non-Aunt Rose days, I think that I taste pretty decent, too."

"Bleargh!"

"Why bleargh? You sure are uptight for a bi girl. How is tasting your own different than tasting someone else's? If it's good enough for the goose, why isn't it good enough for the... other... goose? I totally butchered that analogy."

"It's different because tasting your own is _gross." _declared Konoka. "How is it that you live with Nodoka and Yue and they haven't pointed this out to you by now?" Haruna pondered the question for a moment and then smiled.

"Who do you think suggested it to me in the first place?" asked Haruna.

"Oh, stop it," muttered Konoka. It was plain from the look on Konoka's face that there was no way she was going to buy that Nodoka and Yue would suggest such a thing.

"Okay, so I made that up," admitted Haruna. "The truth is that I can't bring up topics like this with them. They've sworn to physically abuse me until I lose consciousness or keep my mouth shut. Have you ever been smacked with a hardcover book? That shit hurts. I'll wait for the DVD to come out, thank you very much. Around you, though, I feel like I can talk about anything and everything. That feeling of freedom to speak my mind with such an open-minded and wonderful person makes me very happy... and very grateful to be your girlfriend."

"Aw, that's so sweet. I do love to listen to you speak. I find you fascinating."

"You think so, too? Aww, thank youuuu."

"You're welcome. Anyway, you missed the memo: it's gross to taste yourself."

"Why-eeeee?" whined Haruna. "You know, you would suck on the debate team."

"And _you_ would suck _off_ the debate team."

"_OHHHHH_-HO-HO-HOHHH! GOOD ONE!" yelled Haruna. "While that wasn't the nicest thing you could have said to your girlfriend, I find that razor sharp wit of yours too precious to take offense. You could be a professional stand-up comedienne if you wanted to."

"Thank you."

"Yep, you are one hyyyyy-larious girl... but hilarity alone isn't going to convince me that I'm wrong on this. Now explain your point of view with words other than 'because it's gross' and try to convince me that I'm wrong. The only trick in that is that I'm seldom wrong. So talk to me: what... is... the difference? "

"It's like... I don't know; it's kind of like tasting your own snot."

"_What?" _cried Haruna in disbelief. "Oh, no, no, **no!** Click on the pause button! Stop walking." Konoka stopped and turned around to see that Haruna had stopped walking.

"Nnnnnnngh. We don't have time for this, Paru-chan," whined Konoka with sheets of tears on her cheeks. "Secchan is waiting for us. Could we plea-hee-hease have this glamorous discussion later? I just want this day to be done."

"Absolutely not; we are _mak_ing time for this. I am not putting one foot in front of the other until you take that back or defend your previous statement. How on earth can you possibly place something as sacred and tasty as kitty elixir in the same category as something as universally villified and unintended for human consumption as snot?"

"Kitty elixir. Hee hee! That's cute," said Konoka as she cracked a smile. "I'll have to remember that. Okay, fine. I'll explain myself. I'm not saying that they're in the exact same category. What I'm saying is this: my personal philosophy is that reclaiming one's own secreted bodily fluids - saliva doesn't count since it's reclaimable by design - goes against what Mother Nature intended. It left my body for a reason so taking it back in orally can't be good for you."

"Mother Nature? Pfftheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee ! I suppose you believe in Father Time, too, eh? Or maybe even the Rabbit in the Moon? Ohhhh, that is too rich." Konoka responded to Haruna's teasing by sticking her tongue out at her. "Kono-chan, you are adorable. A little on the OCD side but still quite adorable. So your own juice is out of the question but it's perfectly all right to consume another girl's juice?"

"Well, _duh_. Would we even be where we are right now if that wasn't the case?"

"Okay, let's say that you would die unless you swallowed either a teaspoonful of another girl's snot or a teaspoonful of your own snot. Would you choose the other girl's snot?"

"Mmmmmmmno. If that were the case, I'd swallow my own snot."

A smiling Natsumi walked past Haruna and Konoka, waved and kept on smiling as she bobbed her head from side to side to the beat of the music playing on her MP3 player, secure in the knowledge that her ear buds were a perfect fit and let in no outside sound.

"Konoka, you are sssssooooo weiiiiirrrrd!" decreed Haruna.

"_This_ from a girl who uses her you-know-what as a pink lemonade dispenser," observed Konoka. "Was there a non-weird answer to that hypothetical question? Because I didn't see one. Why, pray tell, am I so weird?"

"Because you're inconsistent! If snot is gross to ingest - which it is; no argument here - then what makes your own snot better?"

"I'd choose mine because I know myself. Do I even know the other girl whose snot I'm passing on?"

"Now how does _**that**_ make a difference? Does familiarity with a person reduce the vulgarity of their secretions? Does it improve the flavor of their snot like aging a cheese?"

"Yes... No... I don't know. I'd swallow mine because it's mine, all right?"

"Putting aside the fact that your answer makes no sense, why doesn't the 'it's mine' factor that applies to your own snot apply to your own juice?" asked Haruna. Konoka was spiral-eyed at the futility of discussing this patently absurd subject with a crazy girl.

"Waaaah..." lamented Konoka. She folded her hands and looked skyward with the simple teary button eyes of innocence lost. "Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is one conversation with Haruna that doesn't make me want to strangle her or puke. Love, Konoka."

"P.S." added Haruna, who mimicked Konoka's pose, expression and voice, "Instead of a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, I left you some snot and a glass of kitty elixir. I hope that's okay but if the glass is empty when you get here, check Chamo's breath." Konoka sputtered and quickly turned her head as her face turned a curious shade of blue, refusing to allow herself to breathe lest she start laughing at the visual imagery of the jolly beloved holiday icon's confusion upon finding bodily secretions in place of his traditional snacks. "Please tell me you've at _least_ slid a finger inside yourself and _smelled_ your own juice. If you haven't done _that_, then I'm going to text Chao in the distant future and ask her if Mars is missing a Martian." Konoka lost the desire to laugh from this and she reminded herself of two things: how much she loved Haruna and how difficult it would be to heal the sick and injured from an 8 by 10 cell doing hard time for first degree murder.

"Oh, dear sweet mother of crayon shavings! Have you no shame?" cried Konoka. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were a b..." Konoka caught herself before she completed her sentence and she tapped her fingers together with guilt, looking at something - anything - on the ground.

"A buh?" asked Haruna. A light went on in Haruna's head when she deduced Konoka's aborted word. "A _boy_? Is _that_ what you were going to say?"

"Um, yes," replied Konoka meekly. "I won't lie; that was what I was going to say. That was very bad of me. I'm sorry, love." Haruna leered at Konoka and shifted her jaw from side to side but then gave her a soft smile to let her off the hook. She felt it best not to give Konoka too much hell over this slip up since the poor girl was most likely going to receive all of the grief she could handle from Setsuna in a little while.

"Hm. I guess I can afford to be charitable and let that slide since you didn't actually complete the word. But the next time you think that I act like a boy, remember this fun and educational mantra: Paru-sama is a shining example of Japanese femininity. She is gentle, nurturing, provides 8 essential vitamins and minerals, is empathetic to a fault and above all, she is classy. Got it?"

"Got it," said Konoka.

"Good," said Haruna. "Now... have you ever smelled your fingers after fingering yourself?" Konoka could see that she was not going to win this one. The fastest way to a quiet Haruna was to simply give her what she wanted.

"All right, already. Yes. Yes, I have," admitted Konoka. Haruna smiled as if she had scored a victory with this admission. "Checking on that is simply part of a good personal hygiene regimen; _you_ know that. Any doctor in the world would recommend checking your scent periodically for odors which might indicate an infection. You know that, too."

"You said _period_ically," snickered Haruna.

"However - and that was a completely unintentional pun - I still believe that smelling is far more acceptable than tasting which is something that _no_ medical professional should recommend to _any_ girl and not get arrested for it. And I would bet my father's estate that, if there was a poll held, it would show that the number of girls who have smelled their own would be VASTLY greater than those who have both smelled _and_ tasted their own - with the most commonly given answer for why they _didn't_ taste their own being 'it... is... gross'."

"We could hold an informal poll right now," said Haruna. "**Hey, you girls! Yoo-hooooo! Yeah, you! Hi! Hey, by a show of hands, how many of you girls have tasted your own vaginal juice? Raise your hands if you have. Show of hands. Anyone?**" Konoka's jaw dropped along with the jaws of some of the other female students who were walking in the same direction.

"_C-Clas-sy..._" muttered Konoka. None of the girls that Haruna addressed had raised their hands. Those who weren't ignoring Haruna outright were giggling amongst themselves.

"**Anyone at all? No one? You lying sacks of shit! I hope your boyfriends knock you up and leave you! For another guy! A hot one! One who's the son of a judge and gets his father to rule in favor of your ex-boyfriend so that he doesn't have to pay you any child support! So there!**" Haruna punctuated the multi-layered curse she placed upon the girls unwilling to answer her survey question honestly by flipping them off. Konoka marched onward and ignored Haruna in the hope that no one would think that this strange person yelling obscenities was someone she knew. Haruna caught up with Konoka after having vented her spleen. "Well, that's that; no estate for me. You know, I'm thinking that there's an epic yaoi dojinshi script in that son-of-a-judge story. No, more like a summer blockbuster movie! _Ahem._ Ugh, damn; I haven't shouted like that in a while. I hope that I don't lose my voice from it."

"Oh, you won't," said Konoka.

"What makes you so sure?" asked Haruna.

"Because I don't seem to have that kind of luck."

"Man, I hate stuck-up bitches like those," lamented Haruna as she looked back at the contemptuous lying harpies that made her look like a fool in front of Konoka. "That informal poll didn't prove anything, Kono-chan. It's perfectly normal for a girl to taste herself. Meh, I suppose that we should simply agree to disagree."

"That might very well be the best idea I've heard all weekend," said Konoka. "May we please continue walking to my dorm?"

"Yes, ma'am," said Haruna.

"No further shouting?"

"No further shouting."

"No more hypothetical questions about snot?

"Nope."

"Or kitty elixir?"

"Nope."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Thank you." Konoka breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey," said Haruna, "have you ever put your hand over your asshole, farted and then smelled your hand right afterward?"

If Konoka answered her question, Haruna didn't hear her. The manga-ka was too busy crying out in pain from the painful octopus hold that Konoka had applied to her.

"Eh? Ladies!" shouted Ayaka as she yanked out her ear buds. "No puroresu on school property!"

If silence was indeed golden, it was safe to assume that, when it came to Haruna, hers was pyrite.

* * *

><p>Yue was hard at work going over numerous pages of Orbis Sensualium Pictus. She sat before a large table in a private resource room located on the main floor of Library Island where only privileged library personnel were permitted. There was a knock at the door and since the knock was a secret one that only she and Nodoka knew, there was no need for her to conceal her artifact when she heard the door being unlocked. Nodoka had returned from her brief visit to the nearby drink vending machine with a bottle of water in one hand and a lychee artichoke heart juice box in the other.<p>

"Any luck, Yue?" asked Nodoka. She handed the box to Yue and took a seat beside her best friend.

"None," replied Yue as she de-strawed the juice box. "When Setsuna described the Shinmei school as secretive, she wasn't exaggerating. They're so elusive that all I've found are entries by people who have had dealings with warriors claiming to have been graduates from the school. But with the mystique and prestige surrounding it, I'd bet that the majority of them were charlatans who never even _found_ the school, much less graduated from it."

"I'm guessing that their front office phone number is unlisted," said Nodoka, opening her water bottle.

"And you'd be correct, which makes verifying a charlatan's graduation practically impossible and opens the door for more charlatans." Yue took a sip of her juice and sighed contentedly. "One thing that's clear is that legitimate Shinmei swordsmen and swordswomen are badasses. From descriptions given by witnesses to the highest of their high level secret attacks, well, let's just say that we're extremely fortunate that Setsuna isn't privvy to such techniques. Otherwise, short of asking Negi-sensei to intervene, we'd have no chance of even slowing her down if she was determined to make a move against Haruna. The late great Bruce Lee said that old school martial arts all have weaknesses; areas where they fall short due to it being taught the same way and never evolving or adapting. In spite of my artifact's access to top secret classified documents, it would seem that the Shinmei style's weaknesses have **never** been documented in any form of literature - magical or otherwise - anywhere. For an organization that's supposedly centuries old, **that** is quite an impressive feat. No, I think that the well's run dry on any usable info on the Shinmei school. Guess I'll tackle crow tribe weaknesses for about an hour and then call it a night."

"Does Konoka even know that we're taking sides in this and helping Haruna?" asked Nodoka before taking a generous draught from her bottle.

"I don't know. I would imagine that if Haruna told Konoka and Konoka objected, she would have notified us by n- oh, wow. Nodoka, I found it; our ace in the hole."

"Mm?" Nodoka downed the water in her mouth and put the bottle down. "Already? That's great! Where is it?"

"Right here," said Yue as she pointed to a page, "but you're not going to believe it."

"Eh? Why wouldn't I believe it?"

"Take a look and see." Yue took another sip from her juice. Nodoka's eyes drifted up and down as she sped read the article on the translucent magical page.

"EHHH? Is this some kind of joke?" asked Nodoka. "This can't possibly work!"

"It says that it's supposed to work," said Yue. "It wouldn't be in here if it was a fabrication. To think that our secret weapon would fall into our laps so easily…"

"But it's so..."

"Stupid?" asked Yue with a grin.

"Yes! Stupid!" answered Nodoka. "It's neither magical nor scientific."

"Well, that can't be helped. Do we have some or should we stop at a store on our way home and get some?"

"No, we have some but are you going to gamble Haruna's safety on this?"

"I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth," said Yue. "My artifact has yet to let me down so if it says that it works, then it works. That's all I care about." Nodoka fiddled with the ridges of her water bottle.

"Yue, I don't know if I can go through with this. If it hits Setsuna, there would be that whole 'et tu, Brute?' thing between us and I'd feel terrible. And if I miss, we might not get a second chance. I want to help Haruna but... do you think that you could do it?"

"Quite frankly, I'm not all that keen on the idea myself. I consider Setsuna a friend as well but if it means protecting Haruna from harm, I won't hesitate to use it. So, yes, Nodoka; I'll do the deed. Anyway, since I found this so quickly, it would behoove us to continue our research to see if any other anti-crow tribe weapons turn up."

Unbeknownst to either Yue or Nodoka, 3-A student number 31 Zazie Rainyday silently entered the private room. She was dressed in a sharp looking charcoal grey suit and held several white posterboards under her arm. Turning her back on her oblivious classmates, Zazie faced a direction in which there was nothing but a wall and yet her eyes fixed on a point in space as if she were acknowledging some unseen audience. She held her stack of posterboards out for the benefit of this audience, revealing that they had writing on them. She periodically removed the outermost posterboard and slid it behind the rest one after another in cue card fashion. The posterboards read as follows:

_**Nodoka Miyazaki and Yue Ayase: two young women caught up in a romantic struggle within their circle of friends. With the noblest of intentions, they seek a means of aiding a friend involved in a love dispute while they are involved in a love dispute of their own. Nodoka and Yue are both in love with the same boy: Negi Springfield, a ten-year old magical teacher. While they remain rivals, they have agreed to remain friends, regardless of how their rivalry ends. In a few moments, Nodoka will make a series of statements which will set a chain of events in motion that will put their friendship to the test. Throughout history, desperate people seeking to defend their misdeeds and absolve themselves from blame have claimed that "the devil" made them do it. Whether or not a being such as the biblical fallen angel Lucifer exists and actually influences people to commit wicked deeds is a subject for religious debate and won't be argued here. What is certain is that even the purest of souls, such as the one belonging to Nodoka Miyazaki in this case, are susceptible to an inspired bit of deviltry when they find themselves caught... in the Zazie Zone.**_

Satisfied that her message was delivered, Zazie left the room unnoticed.

"You love her, don't you?" asked Nodoka.

"Haruna? Of course I do," said Yue. "We wouldn't be here if we didn't. Why? Don't _you?_"

"Of course. I was just wondering how _much_ you loved her."

"As much as you do, I suppose," posited Yue. "True, Haruna may be loud, brash, perverted, mischievous, tends to act without thinking and is more than a little crazy... yet, I don't even want to think about what my life would be like without her in it. Or you, for that matter."

"Same here. Yue?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever given any thought to what it would be like to love a girl romantically?"

"_Romantically_? No. Have you?"

"Me? No. Never."

"O-kaaay, did you have a particular reason for bringing up such a bizarre question?"

"No. No reason."

"No reason? So you brought up this subject out of the bl- _Ohhhhh._ _I_ see what you're trying to do. Hm, hm, hmmm... I would say 'nice try' but to be perfectly honest, I expected subterfuge of a higher caliber from you. I'd be insulted if you weren't my best friend. One has to get up pret-ty early in the morning to get one over on Taizo Ayase's favorite granddaughter."

"And what exactly am I trying to get over on you, Detective Ayase?"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Nodoka, but if you want to win Negi-sensei's heart before I do, you'll have to win him over through strength of character, not through subverting the competition with childish mind games. I don't blame you for feeling threatened enough to change up your tactics but you'll have to do better than that."

"You're being paranoid," observed Nodoka.

"That's _exactly_ what I thought you'd say," deduced Yue. "You got Konoka to look into her heart and see that she still had feelings for Setsuna. That was a commendable move on your part but - and I don't say this to insult Konoka - I'm in a different class altogether. Not only am I too clever to fall for something like that; I'm also too introspective not to have already looked into my own heart. Want to know what I found?"

"Assorted chocolates?" guessed Nodoka.

"Close; I found Negi-sensei sitting on a throne. As far as I'm concerned, he might as well relax and put his feet up on an ottoman because his seat in my heart is secure. I have nothing against homosexuality or bisexuality; I'm merely certain of my love for Negi-sensei, secure in my orientation and confident in the knowledge that, when it comes to playing for the same team, I am unrecruitable."

"I see," said Nodoka. "Well, that's too bad for her then." Nodoka continued with her homework and allowed Yue to continue her crow tribe research undisturbed.

"Too bad for who?" asked Yue.

"Hm?"

"You said 'too bad for her'. Who is this 'her' to which you're referring?"

"Oh... it's nothing."

"Nodoka Miyazaki! How many manga titles have we both read?"

"Too many to count."

"And in those manga, how many of them have a character saying 'it's nothing' to another character when it really was something?

"Pretty much every manga ever printed."

"Correct. So you can see why I have difficulty believing that you said "nothing". I _heard_ you say something so you obviously meant something. For whom do you feel badly?"

"Emily."

"Emily? My Emily? I-I mean... Emily Sevensheep, my Iincho with the Ariadne War Maiden Cadets back in the Magical World? That Emily?"

"Mm-hm."

"Why would my heterosexuality cause you to pity Emily?"

"Because... Yue, there's something that I haven't told you." Nodoka put her pen down and rested her elbows on the desk as she looked at Yue. "When we were in Mundus Magicus, Emily told me about certain... feelings that she had for you." Yue's eyes grew wide from this news.

"Emily? For me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well!" exclaimed Yue. "I would never have guessed that. I suppose that I should be flattered. So Emily is bisexual. Huh. That's so weird. She's such a diehard Nagi fan that I merely assumed that she was straight as a ruler. Not that it makes any difference to me one way or the other. I wonder if Bea and/or Collet know about this."

"I have no idea - but now you know. We've got a task to finish. Let's get to it." Nodoka picked up her pen and opened her textbook.

"Right." Yue returned her gaze to Orbis Sensualium Pictus.

Yue's artifact laid out virtual versions of all of the books, documents and articles on the crow tribe. She touched the book icon first and the image came to the forefront, automatically revealing the relevant pages; all tabbed for convenience and translated from its original printed language into Japanese. If Orbis Sensualium Pictus were human, Nodoka would have Negi-sensei all to herself because Yue would have married her artifact. For an occasion as special as her own wedding, Yue would have to invite all of her friends from both worlds and her thoughts returned to Emily. Emily Sevensheep: the girl who would lose the girl for whom she had feelings to a pactio card. Curiosity got the better of Yue and she decided to learn more about these feelings of Emily's that Nodoka had mentioned.

"How long ago was this?" asked Yue.

"How long ago was what?" asked Nodoka, looking at the magical pages that Yue had opened with the assumption that Yue was referring to an event listed on one of them. Yue shook her head and waved off the pages.

"No, no; how long ago did Emily tell you that she had feelings for me?"

"Let me think. Hmm. I think it was the day after I stumbled across both of you when we were trying to locate you in the Magical World. Was it? Yes, it was the day after."

"_That soon?_ Where was I?"

"I don't know. In the restroom, perhaps? You do go a lot."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed," muttered Yue sarcastically. "And you didn't think to tell me about Emily's confession before now?"

"No. I never saw a reason to do so. I knew that you loved Negi-sensei so I didn't view telling you what she said as doing you a favor. If anything, I was sparing you some awkwardness by _not_ passing it along."

"Oh, I see. I wouldn't feel all that awkward being told about something like that. I know Emily. It would've been more awkward if it was someone I hardly knew at all. "

"Ah. Bad call on my part, then. Sorry." With that apology, Nodoka returned to her homework.

"Do you feel that you'd be betraying her confidence if you told me exactly what she said?" asked Yue.

"Mmmm, no, not exactly."

"Oh, no?"

"No. She didn't swear me to secrecy or anything like that."

"I see."

Yue smiled as she pictured the mature and businesslike Emily having this talk with Nodoka and then turning sharply on her heel in military fashion and walking off in a huff the way she usually did. Yue remembered when Emily would do this and how her silky golden tail would sway with her turn. In her childhood, Yue had toy ponies with brushable manes and tails made of imitation horse hair. Her favorite pony was Sunny Honey and Sunny Honey's color scheme was strikingly similar to Emily's hair color and skin color. When young Yue brushed Sunny Honey's tail, she imagined her pony nickering away happily in response to how nice it felt to have her tail brushed. When Yue met Emily for the first time, her Iincho's tail reminded her of Sunny Honey's tail. Yue wondered just how much Emily might enjoy having her tail brushed, what sort of sounds the beast girl might make from the grooming and how much she herself would enjoy brushing Emily's tail. Yue's face felt warm and she guessed that it was most likely because she was blushing. Why wasn't Nodoka elaborating on what Emily said? If there was one pet peeve that Yue had when it came to conversations, it was when the other speaker didn't follow through with what they were saying when the point at which they stopped speaking begged further questions. Saving the current settings, Yue shut her artifact and glared at Nodoka. She drummed her fingers noisily on the table until Nodoka looked at her.

"Well?" asked Yue.

"Well what?" asked Nodoka.

"Aren't you going to tell me what Emily said?"

"Oh. Did you _want_ to know?"

"_You_ brought it up," said Yue. "I merely assumed that it was something you wanted to get off your chest. I wouldn't be _opposed_ to hearing what she said." _No need to appear too eager_, thought Yue.

"But Yue, why would you want to know if you're not going to return those feelings?"

"Did I use the word 'want'? I'm just... curious."

"You used the word 'curious'. Curiosity by definition is a desire to learn specific information. Why would a straight girl with feelings for a boy desire the details of a female friend's feelings for her? Wouldn't this knowledge only make things complicated between you on our next visit to the Magical World?"

"No, it wouldn't. This isn't what you think and if you're implying what I think you are, I resent the implication. She's a friend and that's all. I'm straight but I... wouldn't _mind_ knowing what she said. The desire to know someone else's feelings for you is not indicative of a desire to reciprocate those feelings. Now, if you're _inclined_ to disclose what you were told, I'd be interested in hearing it. That's all."

"I really don't think I should repeat it. To be honest, I don't even know why she chose to tell _me_."

"All right," said Yue as she threw her hands up in the air. "That's fine by me. I'll ask her about it the next time I see her." Yue reopened her artifact and continued reading where she left off while Nodoka returned to her homework.

This was not fine by Yue in the least but she chose to play it cool and pretend that it didn't matter to her. She believed that Emily would admonish her for losing her cool over something so silly. Nagi geekdom aside, Emily was the very definition of cool. She was disciplined, strong of will and a credit to the uniform; a uniform that looked very fetching on her shapely physique. Yue, surprised that she would ponder such a point, felt herself blushing. Within the illuminated pages of Orbis Sensualium Pictus, she visualized a graphic representation of herself in silhouette with her head turned - much like the kind seen in commercials for asthma relief medication - and a graphic of a red heart-shaped throne was in the middle of her chest. Seated in that chair was an anime-style Negi Springfield with an anime-style Emily standing beside him. Emily cleared her throat until she got Negi's attention. _What the hell am I watching?_ wondered Yue.

"Honestly!" said Emily indignantly. "Can't you do something as simple as offer your seat to a lady? What kind of an English gentleman are you? It's your own business if you can't live up to the standards set by your heroic father but don't tarnish his legacy by being a boorish lout!" Emily crossed her arms, closed her eyes and turned her back on Negi.

"Hm? Oh!" said Negi as he frantically scrambled to his feet and bowed profusely. "I'm terribly sorry. Please accept this seat in Yue-san's heart." Emily opened one eye and peered back at Negi.

"Hmph. Well. That's more like it," she said, "but do try to be more observant of your surroundings in the future! You owe your father at least that much." She sat in the throne and shifted a bit. "Eh? Is this seat always this warm?"

"That is the nature of Yue-san's heart," noted Negi. "It's a very warm place."

"Ugh! What a nuisance," exclaimed Emily as she tugged both ends of her uniform's bow tie to undo its knot. "Yue-san, thanks to your lack of control over your heart, I must now disrobe to keep from perspiring! I hope you're..." Emily tugged on her collar and removed her uniform in one piece as though it were a cape thrashed out as part of a performance in a stage magic trick. She was now completely nude with the exception of a pink plastic saddle strapped to her back. Her golden tresses and heavenly tail shone like glittery fields of wheat and the soft sound of wind chimes being kissed by a gentle breeze tingled in the background. "..._satisfied._" Wearing the lovestruck expression she reserved for conversations about Nagi-sama, Emily curled up on the heart throne as her arms and legs strategically covered her naughty bits. "Yue-chan, _please_ satisfy me... I _beg_ of you!" Emily held out a life-sized replica of the brush that came with Sunny Honey's packaging. "Please brush my tail to your - no, to _our_ heart's content! Or, if you wish, you may ride me. _Neeeeeee_-hee-ee-ee-ee-ee!"

_Uh oh_, thought Yue. Her mind was showing her something that her heart already knew. Was this her imagination or a buried longing made manifest due to Yue and Nodoka's combined inherent magical power? Gritting her teeth, Yue shut Orbis Sensualium Pictus and addressed Nodoka once more in an attempt to convince her to spill her guts without appearing too eager.

"Nodoka, think about it: Emily's no baka. If she _didn't_ have you swear to secrecy, she _must_ have known that you'd get around to telling me eventually. I'd even go so far as to say that she _planted_ this confession with you so that you would tell me at a later date; call it a time release capsule of information. She told my best friend, after all... and everyone knows that best friends tell each other everything, especially a bright girl like Emily."

"Hmm. That's true... and ordinarily I would share this with you but in this case, I'd feel uncomfortable."

"Why would you feel uncomfortable?"

"Because the details were rather shocking."

"How shocking are we talking here?"

"Well, they involve a finger, exposing something pink and glistening... and an extended tongue."

"EHHHHH?" Try as she might, the flabbergasted Yue could not fathom her Iincho saying such naughty and graphic things to Nodoka. These weren't garden variety feelings; these were feelings of lust! Yue had never had anyone declare their lust for her; boy or girl. What was Emily thinking by sharing such thoughts with Nodoka? And if this confession was indeed intended to be disclosed to Yue at a later time, was Emily waiting for some sort of answer? The responsible thing to do would be to let Emily down gently but without knowing exactly what was said, Yue couldn't even do that much.

"You see?" asked Nodoka. "You're shocked and I didn't even tell you what she said! I knew it. If I told you what she said, it would probably fry your synapses. I have an obligation to Haruna to keep you focused on finding ways to counteract Setsuna. I was right to keep this from you and I'm sorry that I brought it up. Please get back to your research."

"Heh heh... you torment me with teasers... and you expect me to do _research?_ Abeat!" Yue's artifact was returned to its card form which she placed in her vest pocket. "Now you've _no choice_ but to tell me what Emily said!" Yue had a demon's glint in her eye. She was through using diplomacy with Nodoka and she would have this information by hook or by crook.

"No choice?" asked Nodoka.

"That's right," replied Yue, "because I'm not activating O.S.P. again until you tell me what she said! And searching Library Island for all of the hard copies of the books we'll need - assuming that they're even _here_ - would take a hundred times longer than using my artifact! Haruna could be sashimi by then! Every second that you don't tell me what Emily said is time we could have alotted to utilizing the best research tool by far! The sooner you tell me, the sooner I can return to my research!" Yue rose from her chair and stood beside the still seated Nodoka. She folded her arms and glared at Nodoka as though she had taken the last juice box from the fridge; not that such a thing had ever happened.

"That's not very nice, Yue," said Nodoka. "Don't I have a right to keep a private conversation confidential?" Nodoka was starting to feel a little nervous with Yue standing so close to her.

"_Not anymore you don't!_" shouted Yue. "You forfeited that right when you dropped excerpts from Emily's confession into my lap and didn't follow through by relaying the entire account! Who _wouldn't_ want to be told everything after hearing what you just said?"

"Okay, Yue, why don't we compromise? I'll tell you what she said once we've learned everything we can about crow tribe weaknesses. Is that all right?"

"Not good enough! You've built this up too much for me to forget about this now! If you don't tell me, I won't be able to think about anything else for the rest of my life! Now take responsibility for this and tell me now! I can handle it!"

"Well, you might not like it once you hear it so I ask you one last time: do you really want to know what she said?"

"Have you not been paying attention, Nodoka? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I really do want to know!"

"Do you promise that you won't be angry with me after I tell you? Because you sound angry enough to pound me."

"AAAAAUGH!" Yue planted her palms on either side of her own head and aimed her anguished cry out to the ceiling. Nodoka was weirded out by the scream and Yue regretted having released it.

"_Ah._ Well, I'm just going to go now." Nodoka pushed her chair back and rose from her seat.

"No, wait! Please!" begged Yue as she placed a hand on Nodoka's shoulder. Nodoka reluctantly sat back down and stayed at Yue's insistance. Yue removed her hand from Nodoka's shoulder and smoothed her palms across her own face to calm herself down. "I'm sorry, all right? I'm just flustered." Yue grabbed her juice box and slurped down the remained of the juice before tossing the box into a nearby trashcan. "Look, I promise that I won't be angry with you after you tell me and I won't harm you in any way! I just want to know what Emily said. I'll take full responsibility for anything that happens as a result of what you tell me! Are you satisfied? Now tell me word for word what she said and don't leave out a single syllable! I have to know! I NEED TO KNOW!" Yue huffed and puffed from being out of breath. Her face was red and Nodoka could swear that she saw flames flickering in Yue's eyes.

"Okay! I'll tell you," said Nodoka. "She said... " Nodoka placed her right index finger under her own right eye, gently slid her lower eyelid down exposing her pink and glistening inner eyelid and extended her tongue in Yue's direction. "Nyaaaaah."

Silence.

Nodoka smiled and giggled softly at the cleverness of her practical joke.

She was the only one doing so.

Yue was livid; livid with Nodoka for using Emily as a means of exposing feelings which Yue did not want brought to light and livid with herself for falling for this when she believed herself to be above such trickery. Administering a slapstick clobbering to Nodoka would hardly suffice as an outlet for the amount of rage and embarrassment that whistled away in the teakettle of Yue's heart. Her grandfather taught her to always keep her promises, even if the people with whom you made those promises didn't live up to their part of the bargain. If Yue were to give in to her rage and pummel Nodoka, she would be breaking the promise she made not to harm Nodoka for what she had learned and, in doing so, would dishonor her grandfather's memory. She didn't know which hurt worse; Nodoka's trickery or the notion that Emily did not really have any special feelings for her. Regardless, Yue was hurt and confused and she wanted to be anywhere except beside her best friend. Averting her eyes to a spot on the surface of the table, Yue bit her lower lip as she drew in a breath and rattled out a ragged sigh.

"That... wasn't... _funny_," spat Yue as her voice cracked. Where Nodoka saw flames a moment ago, she now saw tears welling up; tears that informed Nodoka that she had gone too far with her prank. Yue grabbed her bookbag and forcefully began stuffing it with the school books she had removed from it for her own homework.

"Eh? Yue? Wait! It was just a joke! Please - don't go away mad. I didn't mean anything by it; I know that you're straight. YUE?" Yue paid Nodoka no mind and she ran off as quickly as her legs would carry her. The sleigh bells in Yue's hair jingled as she ran and they faded away to nothing as Yue gained more distance. Nodoka was now by herself and despite her love for literature, she secretly hated being at Library Island alone. She groaned and slammed her forehead onto the desk for being a baka. As someone who tried to learn from her mistakes, she etched the following lesson into her brain for future reference: being clever isn't the same thing as being smart.

_(I apologize for the fact that this chapter doesn't include Konoka and Haruna's meeting with Setsuna. I'm SO VERY CLOSE to finishing the chapter which does have that scene - Chapter 8 - and my prediction is that it shouldn't take much longer to complete than a week from this posting. I wanted to shoot for perfect and ended up with something very close to it. With chapter 7, I feel that I've developed and improved my writing skills somewhat versus the earlier ones. The learning process is a fascinating thing and I thank you, my readers, for your patience with me as I learn along the way. Your reviews are my bread and butter and are greatly appreciated.)_


	8. Dude, Where's My Karma?

_[This is the one that you've all been waiting for - the talk with Setsuna. It was a chore to write in that I refused to post this chapter unless it played out exactly as I saw it in my head. It threatened to devour my lone brain cell. I went heavy on italics in this chapter. When you see extended italicized dialogue in this scene and it isn't a thought, please allow your mind's ear to hear it as the character speaking in a weak and jittery tone; as if they are in tears or on the verge of tears.]_

Konoka rubbed her hands together as she waited for the elevator alongside Haruna. They stood in the mostly deserted lobby of the dorm building and minutes away from Konoka's dorm where Setsuna awaited Konoka's arrival. Stairs required the expenditure of energy of which they wanted to conserve every drop for their respective revelations.

"My palms are all cold and clammy," observed Konoka.

"Here, have some of my patented non-magical relaxation magic." Haruna hugged Konoka from behind and rested her chin atop Konoka's left shoulder. She gently held Konoka's silky smooth hands, chasing away the poor blood circulation gremlins that plagued her. Haruna's embrace was just what the doctor ordered for melting away some of Konoka's stress. She could use about a day's worth of this kind of magic before entering her dorm.

"That's nice," said Konoka with a grin. "Thank you, Paru-chan. I feel better already."

"Don't mention it," said Haruna. "I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't hug you at least once a day."

"You're welcome to a lot more than that."

"Mm, don't mind if I do." Haruna kneaded Konoka's right buttock with her right hand; an act which earned Haruna a reverse over-the-shoulder forehead flick from Konoka. Haruna released Konoka and rubbed her aching forehead. "_Ah-ta-ta-ta..._ Got any more mixed signals for me, hun?"

"I **meant** that you're welcome to **hug me** a lot more than once a day, Pervy McHorndog."

"_Oh_." Haruna's grades suggested to others that she was a fairly bright girl but she felt stone stupid whenever she made mistakes like this, especially around Konoka whose grades were exemplary.

"And the next time you decide to include me in a free two-girl show for the security guard sitting over there, you might want to tell me about it first. _Yo-_hohhh!" Konoka smiled and waved at the security guard who eyeballed the two girls with mild suspicion. Haruna also smiled and waved at him.

"Ah," said Haruna through her smile. "My bad." Konoka turned her attention to Haruna and gave her a serious look as she rested her hands on the taller girl's shoulders.

"I have a pretty good idea of how this meeting is going to go down," said Konoka. "It won't be pretty and there'll definitely be tears involved but it will go so much more smoothly if you simply play it cool. My advice is this: the coolest thing that you can do while we're in there is to say only what you need to say."

"Got it," said Haruna. The elevator bell sounded and the steel doors slid open. Konoka entered the elevator along with Haruna. "Wait a second. Are you implying that I have a habit of saying unnecessary things?"

"Yes," said Konoka. Haruna rolled her eyes and shook her head at Konoka's unabashed frankness. Konoka pressed the button for her room's floor and waited for the doors to slide shut. "Deviate from the game plan and you'll be making things harder for all of us. Stick to it and you should be... mostly fine." The doors were nearly closed when Haruna thrusted her arm out between them to keep them from closing. She shot Konoka a look of grave concern mixed with a dash of abject terror. Konoka facepalmed and regretted her poor choice of words.

"_MOSTLY FINE_?" cried Haruna. "What the hell does _mostly fine_ mean, Konoka?" Her eyes spiraled out of control and she trembled so much that her knees began to knock together but her arm remained extended between the elevator doors. If Konoka felt that the odds that she would remain unharmed were not in their favor, Haruna had no grounds for remaining confident. "Meaning I should be _mostly_ able to enter classrooms that are wheelchair accessible? Or that I should be _mostly_ able to recognize my parents? Or that I should be _mostly_ able to eat solid food? Or-or-or..."

"_Mean_ing," said Konoka, "you should be mostly fine." She wrapped her arm around Haruna's waist and gently guided her away from the doors which then closed completely. Haruna groaned nervously as she rested her back against the elevator wall. _Uh-oh, she's freaking out_, thought Konoka. _She might bail._ Konoka hesitated to do what she was about to do but she believed that dogs were likelier to perform tricks if offered a treat. Making certain that the elevator was ascending and gambling that students on the higher floors wouldn't press the _up_ button, Konoka slid the thumb and first two fingers of her right hand into her own mouth and drew them back out. "And, uh... if you're a _really_ good girl..." Konoka quickly lifted the front of Haruna's skirt with her left hand and slid her right hand down the front of Haruna's panties. "...then I'll give you a very good reason to lay off garlic for the next 2 weeks."

"Oh, _fu-huck_..." whispered Haruna who was rendered breathless by Konoka's gentle and meticulous fingers. For Haruna, the idea of Konoka initiating a sex act in public was even kinkier than the act itself. She closed her eyes and sighed softly as she slid her feet apart to give Konoka better access. "_Oh, Kono-chan_..." Haruna licked her lips and held her lower lip between her teeth. Her chest rose and fell with each quickening breath. She swallowed, let out a few soft breathy moans and looked into her lover's bedroom eyes. Konoka wore a naughty grin. She enjoyed rendering Haruna docile in this manner far more than physically assaulting her with puroresu holds and she had to admit that she got a charge out of sexually dominating the bombastic manga-ka. Once Konoka was certain that Haruna understood that compliance would be rewarded, she ceased her stroking and began to extract her hand from Haruna's panties. Haruna quickly reached out and held Konoka's right arm in place, whimpering and begging Konoka with her eyes to finish what she started. As aroused as Haruna was, a few more seconds of Konoka jilling her off would have brought her to climax.

"Ah-_ah_-_**ahhh**_," said Konoka. "Oné-chan will take you to Funland later. First, we're making a stop at the dentist. Okay?" Haruna nodded and reluctantly let go of Konoka's arm. "Good girl." Konoka removed her hand and examined her now glistening fingers. "Geez, that was... what; eleven seconds? - and you're like a kitchen faucet." Using her left hand, Konoka produced a pre-moistened towelette packet from her bookbag, opened it and wiped her damp fingers with the towelette until they were clean. The brief but effective sex act had made Konoka a little horny as well and she looked forward to their next encounter in the bedroom where she could savor all of the subtle nuances of Haruna's erotic symphony. Haruna appeared to be far more relaxed now than she was just half a minute ago - which was the goal of her little excercise, after all. Haruna inhaled and puffed out a breath through pursed lips, heralding her unceremonious ejection from Funland and subsequent return to reality. The elevator doors slid open and, after depositing the used towelette into the trashcan, the girls proceeded to walk down the corridor toward Konoka's dorm. Haruna held her skirt with both hands and flapped it continuously to expedite the drying of her panties.

"Woof. I knew you spoke my language, Kono-chan. You could've saved yourself some time if you had done that sooner. Just make sure you pony up those raisins when this is all over"

"Raisins? What raisins?"

"Oh, right, I never shared that with you, did I? It's from a yuri dojinshi I did."

"_You_ drew a _yuri_ manga? What; did penises stop being fun to draw?"

"Drew _and_ wrote a yuri manga," corrected Haruna. "I am a master craftswoman of both skills, you know. And penises are **always** fun to draw. I've got three whole sketchbooks filled with nothing but doodles of penises and I'm about half way done with a fourth one."

"You should have a sketchbook exclusively for doodles of uncircumcised penises and then put a book cover on it."

"_That_ is an awesome idea," stated Haruna. "Damn, why didn't I think of that? The manga club members will love that. Anyway, in the yuri dojinshi, one of the characters who made the switch to lesbianism had this line summing up her philosophy on the difference between both sides: 'Yuri sex is like eating raisins. Sweet, simple and you can have as many of them as you want because they're naturally good for you. Straight sex is more like eating jellybeans. They're still sweet but it seems more artificial than raisins. They're not so simple because if you don't monitor your enjoyment carefully, you might end up accidentally eating the icky spiced black jellybean of unplanned pregnancy. And having a lot of jellybeans seems like a good idea at the time but after you go through with it, you feel gross'."

"That's some analogy," said Konoka, "although I can't attest to any of the comparisons since I've never had sex with a guy before."

"Well, yeah," said Haruna, "Neither can I. That was just the character's philosophy; not mine. I've never had sex with a guy either so I can only guess how it feels... but truthfully, I don't need to know how it feels. Everything that's special... everything that's beautiful in this world... I've found in you. There isn't a guy on the planet that could convince me to give you up." Haruna held Konoka's hand, interlocking her fingers with Konoka's.

"Awww, that's so _swee_-eeet!" squealed Konoka. "Just when I think that I can't be any more taken with you, you say something romantic like that and you prove me wrong." She flashed Haruna a smile that belonged in the dictionary under the word _smile_. "I love you, Haruna Saotome."

"And I love you, too, Konoka Konoe." Haruna knew that she couldn't outsmile Konoka but that didn't stop her from trying. Her smile came from a place in her heart where she kept the dream of a long and prosperous life together with her beloved.

"And I _love_ black jellybeans, by the way," admitted Konoka.

"What?" Haruna stuck out her tongue, repulsed by her lover's poor taste in candy. She wriggled her fingers to free herself from Konoka's grasp. "I don't know you anymore," said Haruna jokingly. "Give me my hand back."

"_Nuuuu! Want hoalllld!_" Konoka clamped down on Haruna's hand, refusing to release it. Haruna used her other hand to reclaim her right hand from her playful girlfriend. Konoka used her other hand to fend off Haruna's two-pronged attack. Both girls giggled as they tested each other's strength. Haruna crouched, scooped Konoka up over her shoulder and carried her down the hallway. Konoka shrieked with laughter and Haruna couldn't help but fall prey to Konoka's contagious laughter. Though Haruna was far too young to be nostalgic, her relationship with Konoka made her feel as if she was reliving her youth. She wondered just how much more fun her life would have turned out if she had been Konoka's friend since childhood rather than meeting as classmates at Mahora. The horseplay came to an abrupt halt when Haruna suddenly stopped in her tracks and slowly turned to her right. Konoka, who was still giggling, cleared her throat and regained her composure. She didn't have to ask why Haruna had stopped walking.

The door to Konoka's dorm now stood before them like an imposing monolith. Haruna gently set Konoka down and both girls fixed their hair. Haruna felt a sinking feeling in her abdomen when she heard the jingling of Konoka's keychain as she searched for the correct key. Konoka saw little point in delaying the inevitable so she hastily slid her key into the lock and swung the door open.

Setsuna stood in the center of the room in full view of the front door. She was clad in a stunning royal blue kimono with an elaborate embroidered image of a pair of egrets standing in a misty marsh. In sharp contrast, she wore her plain looking indoor shoes. Her hair was down and she was wearing something which Konoka had never seen Setsuna wear before: cosmetics. Not much; just enough to accentuate the already attractive features of her face. There was no doubt in Konoka's mind that someone at a salon had applied the cosmetics since Setsuna didn't even own a container of lip gloss. The dorm had been decorated with a dozen crystalline vases, each one containing healthy bouquets of long stem red roses. Konoka didn't see any of these vases when she left the dorm this morning so they were definitely Setsuna's doing.

_Oh, fuck me_, thought Konoka. All she wanted was for Setsuna to be in good spirits when she broke the news. Now, thanks to Haruna's ill-timed visit and a tongue which Konoka had recently discovered was good for something other than gossip, Setsuna was on cloud nine which meant that she had that much farther to fall once she heard what they had to say. Konoka wanted to run off somewhere - preferably to a private area to cast a healing spell on her burgeoning baby ulcer - but that would have been both hypocritical and counterproductive. If she was going to forge a successful relationship with Haruna, she would need to stand her ground here and now. One of them had to be strong to get through this and Konoka knew that she could not afford herself the luxury of being the weak one.

"_Ko-no_-cha-a-a-a-an!" sang Setsuna as she approached Konoka with open arms. "_Wel_-_come_ ba-a-a-a-ck!" Setsuna was fully prepared to glomp Konoka as she walked through the door when she saw that Konoka had Haruna in tow. "Oh. Er, hello, Saotome-san." Setsuna lowered her arms and placed her hands behind her back for lack of something to do with them. The smile she gave Haruna was considerably less genuine than the one she gave Konoka. Setsuna didn't believe it was necessary to point out to Konoka that she should have hurried back _alone_.

"Yo," said Haruna. She craned her neck and periodically stood on her toes, inconspicuously scoping out the room to see if she could spot Yuunagi anywhere. The nodachi was nowhere to be seen but Haruna did spot both of Setsuna's pactio cards on the coffee table. They were not activated which meant that Haruna had at least a second's head start to run for the door if or when she heard Setsuna say the word _adeat_.

"Secchan!" exclaimed Konoka. "Wa-how! Look at this place! All of these beautiful..." Konoka gulped and wiped away a drop of sweat that ran down her forehead. "..._red roses!_" Konoka was a happy girl at heart so putting on a fake smile felt alien. "And that kimono! Looking good, Secchan!" Under different circumstances, Konoka would have fawned over Setsuna and her outfit. "Doesn't she look good, Haruna?"

"Yeah," said Haruna. "Good enough to eat. DOOF!" Without flinching, Konoka had delivered a swift elbow just under Haruna's sternum as punishment for her facetious double entendre. A sad fact had become apparent to Konoka: acts of domestic violence between couples were sometimes justified.

"Ah! Thank you, Kono-chan!" beamed Setsuna. "I was hoping that my appearance would please you. I am not in the habit of spending my earnings on finery and flora _bu-u-u-t_ I decided to make an exception this one time... on this very special day." Setsuna brought her fingertips to her lips which bore an enormous catlike smile. "_Eeeeeeheeheeheeee_!" Holding her arms against her chest, Setsuna bounced up and down in place, barely able contain her joy - even in Haruna's presence. Setsuna surprised Konoka with a swift hug that lifted her off her feet. Setsuna giggled and squealed merrily as she placed her hands on Konoka's hips and pressed her over her head as if she weighed no more than a puppy.

"Kyaaa!" cried Konoka. "S-Secchan? Ground floor, please?"

"Oh, I beg your pardon, Kono-chan," said Setsuna. She gently set Konoka back down on her feet. While Haruna was not the least bit pleased to see her girlfriend being carried around by someone other than herself, she was proud to know that, if Setsuna's loopy behavior was any indication, she totally rocked at eating pussy.

"Wow, Sakurazaki," said Haruna, "you sure are strong." Haruna was familiar with Setsuna's strength; the observation was a throwaway comment to remind Setsuna that she was also in the room.

"Ah, that would be due to my chi flow," replied Setsuna. "I feel as if I could uproot the World Tree with my bare hands and throw it like a javelin into space!" Haruna blinked reflexively when Setsuna's arm lashed out as she mimicked a javelin throw. "I exaggerate, of course, but you get the idea, Saotome-san." Setsuna turned her attention to Konoka and a genuine smile returned to Setsuna's face. "Kono-chan, I acquired thirteen bouquets of red roses. Thirteen is now my lucky number. Today is the thirteenth and you are student number thir-"

"I count only twelve bouquets, Sakurazaki," interrupted Haruna. "You might want to double check your receipt... or your math." Setsuna's mouth was frozen in place where she was about to say -_teen._ She cast her eyes downward and licked her teeth before turning to face Haruna with another polite smile. Konoka could tell that Setsuna found Haruna's interruption to be rude. These were exactly the kind of unnecessary words which Konoka was afraid Haruna would use.

"That won't be necessary, Saotome-san," said Setsuna as she folded her arms across her chest. "There _is_ a thirteenth bouquet - but _you_ won't be seeing it. Um… Saotome-san? I do not wish to appear rude as this isn't my dorm... but would you be so kind as to excuse Konoka-Ojou-sama and me for the evening? She and I have some very important matters to discuss; matters of a... _personal_ nature." Setsuna took both of Konoka's hands into her own and held them tenderly against her cheek. Setsuna flinched and looked down at Konoka's hands. There was an unusual scent emanating from the fingers of Konoka's right hand and Setsuna brought the hand closer to her nose to examine the scent further. There was an alcohol smell which was most likely hand sanitizer or an antibacterial wipe and... something else. A dagger of ice pierced Konoka's heart as she recalled Haruna's _incentive_ and quickly withdrew her hands from Setsuna's grasp, placing them behind her back for good measure. Konoka smiled in lieu of offering Setsuna an explanation for her actions. Setsuna appeared to be confused but thankfully she did not force the issue.

"I understand," replied Haruna with a grin. "You'd like some time to yourselves. Well... _see you guys later!_" Haruna swiftly turned to make her way for the front door and she faceplanted onto the carpet because Konoka had tackled her by wrapping her arms tightly around Haruna's ankles. Setsuna didn't understand what was going on but the manga-ka's body did make an amusing thud sound when it hit the floor and made it worth enduring the rudeness Haruna had shown her.

"Actually, Secchan," stated Konoka as she helped Haruna back to her feet, "you're right; we do have important matters to discuss but these matters also involve Haruna so I'm sorry but she **has** to stay."

"Eh? Why is that, Kono-chan?" asked Setsuna.

"Yeah, why is that, Kono-...ka?" asked Haruna. She had just dodged the bullet of addressing Konoka by her pet name in Setsuna's presence.

"Haruna," said Konoka, "I believe you had something to say to Secchan."

"But Konoka," said Haruna, "Sakurazaki just asked me to NNNGH!" Konoka held Haruna's left arm behind her back and, unbeknownst to Setsuna, mercilessly twisted her girlfriend's wrist. "WELL, IF YOU INSIST, THEN I GUESS I CAN STAY A BIT LONGERRRR!" cried Haruna, wondering where Konoka picked up such a formidable technique. Konoka released Haruna's arm and stood beside her. A weepy Haruna massaged her poor wrist and gave Konoka a pouty dirty look. _And here I was worried about getting hurt by __**Setsuna**__, _thought Haruna. Setsuna stood with her arms folded, unsure of what was going on. Haruna turned to face Setsuna and gave her a nervous smile. _Let's see, _thought Haruna,_ how do I even bring up this topic?_ "Hello, Sakurazaki," she said. "Did you have a good morning?"

'_Did you have a good morning?' she asks! _thought a cringing Konoka._ As if she didn't know! Grrrr. Keep it up and you can have all the garlic you want, baka._

"Only the best morning of my life!" replied Setsuna as she shot Konoka a knowing glance. "But unless I've missed my guess, Konoka's already told you a _lit_-tle something about it. _Oh!_ _I_ know why you're here, Saotome-san."

"_Ohhhhh_, I kinda doubt that," muttered Haruna. Setsuna turned to face Konoka and the difference in smile quality led Haruna to believe that Setsuna was ahead of schedule in disliking her.

"And if you want my approval that much, Ojou-sama," said Setsuna, "then you may have it."

"R-Really?" asked Konoka who hadn't the faintest idea of what Setsuna was approving.

"Absolutely," said Setsuna. "I can deny you nothing, after all. Mind you, I would have wagered that you would have selected Asuna as our Maid of Honor but if you feel that strongly about Saotome-san, then I will abide by your decision." Both Konoka and Haruna performed a synchronized leaping face first pratfall in opposite directions. "Perhaps Asuna can be the Best...Woman?" Setsuna held her chin and gazed at the floor, lost in thought. "Is there such a thing when a Best Man isn't available? Oh, but then there's Negi-sensei, isn't there? Hmm… well, in any case, I hope to have Asuna attend in _some _official capacity." Konoka was the first to rise. She had an X bandage on her forehead and twin V tears erupting from the corners of her eyes.

"S-Secchan, w-what are you _talking_ about?" asked Konoka.

"Maid of Honor," stated Setsuna. "For our wedding ceremony. Was Saotome-san's position at our wedding not the reason she is here?"

"I _heard_ what you said," said Konoka, "but... what's this about a wedding? _I_ can't marry you, Secchan."

_Dang skippy you can't_, thought Haruna.

"Not here in Japan, no," said Setsuna with a gentle grin, "but I've done a bit of research on the subject. While same sex marriages are not permitted in Japan, it does recognize such unions made in other countries. We can simply make an excursion to a foreign country, wed there and return home after our honeymoon. I was going to keep this as a surprise but I've made travel arrangements for the both of us to fly to beautiful Canada in North America! Imagine: the two of us together in a foreign country. Won't that be wonderful? Ooh, I can scarcely believe this is happening!" Setsuna was so overjoyed that tears of happiness began to bead up in her eyes.

Haruna's eyes fluttered and rolled back in her head momentarily as the name of her safe haven of choice crossed Setsuna's lips. _Setsuna must have leafed through the same tourist brochures in Negi-kun's English class that I did, _thought Haruna. The only foreign language in which she was somewhat fluent was English. Now that Canada was out, what was left? The United States was adjacent to Canada so she wouldn't feel safe there. Perhaps Negi could recommend a spot in the United Kingdom.

"T-Travel arrangements?" asked Konoka. "Secchan, slow down; when was this proposal of yours?"

"_I_ didn't propose to _you_, silly Kono-chan," said Setsuna. "The proposal was yours."

"No, _I_ didn't propose to you, either, Secchan," said Konoka.

"Kono-chan... why would you joke about this?" asked Setsuna. "_Surely_ you remember."

"It's no joke," said Konoka. "I'm pretty sure that I'd remember something as important as making a marriage proposal. What made you think that I proposed to you?"

"Oh, no..." Setsuna's sullen features made the smile she wore a short while ago seem like a distant memory. "I... I was sure that... this morning... was your ka-a'kuruhk."

"My ka-a-what-now?" asked Konoka.

"When members of the crow tribe do what you did," explained Setsuna, "it is called ka-a'kuruhk: a marriage proposal ritual which a female accepts by permitting the act. You didn't know that?" Konoka shook her head slowly as she saw tears begin to well up in Setsuna's eyes. "So that means that you... there _was_ no ka-a'kuruhk. It would seem that... _I've made a terrible mistake._" Konoka vaguely recalled Setsuna giving her a book detailing crow tribe culture and reading it _was_ on her to-do list but she just never got around to it.

_I can't take this anymore, _thought Konoka._ It's like one can of gasoline thrown into the fire after another! She'll never forgive me after she learns the truth!_ This latest development was more than Konoka could bear and she began to weep softly. She sank to her knees and covered her face with both hands. Her best friend was prepared to spend the rest of her life with her as her betrothed. So many emotions flooded Konoka's heart with guilt being the most prevalent among them. As she christened her palms with what would be the first of many tears, Konoka wished with the darkest part of her heart that she had never allowed Haruna to bed her. Setsuna crouched beside her and placed her left hand on Konoka's right shoulder to console her.

"O-Ojou-sama," pleaded Setsuna, "please don't cry on account of my assumption. It was wishful thinking of me to believe that you were using my people's traditions. This is entirely my fault. Please don't blame yourself. You didn't know. What you did may not have been a ka-a'kuruhk to you but it was to me. If nothing else, you were expressing your feelings to me that in and of itself is more than I deserve. When I think of how I have longed for you to... tell me that you... _loved_ _me_..." Setsuna quickly covered her mouth to prevent sobs of unbridled happiness from escaping. Air shuttled through her nostrils as she inhaled and exhaled deeply. Once she felt she was able to control her emotions, she released her face and grinned at Konoka."Oh, my. Forgive me. I assure you that those were tears of joy. Hours later and I'm still overwhelmed by it all." Wiping her eyes, Setsuna cleared her throat and swallowed. "Ah, Kono-chan... you have given me a gift greater than you shall ever know. I must confess to being a little sad that you were not offering a ka-a'kuruhk but it's a minor disappointment when faced with the consolation prize of your love. Th-there's no time limit on my acceptance. W-We needn't wed immediately, if that's what's upsetting you. I'll remain faithful to you until you are ready. What matters is that you now hold my heart in your hands - and I would wait for you until the end of time, if need be."

Konoka bawled even louder at Setsuna's beautiful words. Setsuna was so sweet and undeserving of what was about to happen that Konoka couldn't bring herself to uncover her face and look Setsuna in the eye; she felt as if she didn't have the right.

"Oh, my _God_," blurted Haruna. "Creepy much, Sakurazaki? Can't you see that you're only making things harder for her? She didn't propose to you so just get over it and give her some space, okay?" Setsuna slowly turned to face Haruna. The scowl Setsuna wore was so intense that Haruna felt her own soul crawl up her asshole in search of a hiding place. "_Orrrr_ you could just keep talking to her; I'm cool with that, too, really." Setsuna turned the rest of her body toward Haruna as she stood; taking a step toward her for every step Haruna took away from her. _Konoka was right,_ thought Haruna. _I do say unnecessary things_.

"I beg your pardon, Saotome-san?" spat Setsuna. "What right do you think you have to tell me what to do? I fail to see how this is any of your business. You haven't told me of your involvement in this matter. Explain to my satisfaction why you're here and I may not take offense at your tone."

Haruna's heel struck the moulding of the wall behind her, leaving her with nowhere left to turn. Just as she was leaning toward going into full blown panic mode, Haruna looked down at Konoka, who was still crying. The poor girl was such a pillar of strength and she had been pushed past her breaking point. This was Haruna's moment on the stage and if this was going to end badly, she would make it an ending on which Konoka could look back with pride. Haruna's heart was beating so rapidly that she felt as if it was going to burst out of her chest cavity and fly across the room. Her jaw trembled and a lone tear ran down her right cheek. Clearing her throat and wiping her brow free of sweat with a handkerchief, Haruna prepared to answer Setsuna, wishing that her throat was as moist as her brow.

"Sakurazaki," said Haruna, "you received oral sex this morning but Konoka wasn't the one who gave it to you. _I_ was."

Setsuna's eyes opened widely and her mouth hung open in shock. She looked back and forth at Haruna and Konoka.

"_You?_" asked Setsuna.

"Yes," replied Haruna. "_I_ picked the lock, entered this dorm, used the light of my cell phone to see where Konoka's bed was, shushed you by placing my fingers on your lips and removed your underwear. You, ah... you know the rest." Horrified, Setsuna pinched the collar of her kimono shut with her left hand and covered her open mouth with her right. She took a few wobbly steps away from Haruna and over to the kitchen counter where she placed her right hand to steady herself.

"Oh, no," said Setsuna. The swordswoman was as pale as a ghost and she shook her head in denial. "No, no, no, no. This can't be true. It **mustn't** be true." She turned to face Konoka, folded her hands and placed them just underneath her chin. "_Ojou-sama?_" Her voice quivered and was higher in pitch as she was once again nearly in tears. "_Please tell me that this isn't true. I beg of you._" It broke Konoka's heart to see her dearest friend in pain due to something for which she was responsible. Konoka wiped her own reddened eyes free of tears and sniffled back the mucus from her runny nose.

"_It's true_," replied Konoka. "_I was on my way to grandpa's office when I left. I told him about you skipping class to sleep in, had breakfast at the cafeteria and then went straight to class. I haven't been back here since I left you with a wish for pleasant dreams. I swear to you that I had no idea that Haruna was planning to let herself in and do this._ _I am so sorry._"

Setsuna crouched and took a seat on the carpet, resting her back against the side of the kitchen counter. She held her head in her hands and repeatedly whimpered the word _no_ to herself. While she certainly had every right to be upset, Haruna wondered why this - the tamest confession of the lot in her opinion - was as distressing to Setsuna as it was. Not that she was complaining; a sad Setsuna was far preferable to an angry one. Very few girls punched other girls in the face in a fit of sadness. Haruna fiddled with the thumbnail of her right hand and took a few steps toward Setsuna, feeling uncomfortable with her back against the wall.

"H-Here's the thing, though," continued Haruna nervously. "I didn't do it because I _wanted_ to do that to _you_, Sakurazaki. I _thought_ I was doing that to Konoka at the time." Setsuna stopped crying and removed her hands from her face as the words Haruna spoke struck a very personal chord with her. "It was dark so I didn't actually see your face, I shushed you so I never actually heard your voice and I ran off immediately afterward to wash up and catch a train to school so I had no way of knowing that the person in her bed wasn't her. And you never knew that it wasn't Konoka who was doing that to you so you permitted me to do it. When I got to class and asked Konoka about it, she told me that you were the girl lying in her bed during that time. So, yeah, I'm sorry."

Setsuna slowly rose from her seat on the carpet and walked toward Haruna. The swordswoman's eyes, which were mournful a moment ago, were now narrowed in a scowl of blind fury which aided her tears in leaving her eyes and escaping down her cheeks. Haruna was unnerved by the sight of Setsuna's scowl combined with her running and smeared mascara.

"So what you're telling me," said Setsuna, "is that you failed** to sexually molest Konoka-Ojou-sama... in her **_**sleep**_**, no less... but SUCCEEDED IN VIOLATING ME? **_**BAKAAA!"**_ Konoka scrambled to her feet the moment Setsuna began to yell and she placed herself between Setsuna and Haruna, spreading her arms outward to shield her. She was reminded of the time that Setsuna struck a similar pose when she took a giant arrow for her at Cinema Village. "**Was this second confession of yours supposed to make me feel better somehow, Saotome? Because I certainly _don't _**_**feel**_**_ better!_ Would you like to know what **_**would**_** make me feel better? I'll give you eight hints!**" Setsuna cracked the knuckles of both of her hands. The sound was like two sets of four firecrackers going off with one set exploding right after the other had finished. Haruna froze like the proverbial deer in the headlights. She had never seen Setsuna this angry before and the biggest bomb had yet to be dropped.

_I'm doomed! _thought Haruna._ How could I possibly have been so stupid as to think for a moment that I could stand up to her?_ _Some goddess of war I am. I'm a bug and she's the windshield of a moving eighteen wheeler!_

"_Konoka?_" squeaked Haruna. "_Your turn._"

"**Don't you dare address Konoka-Ojou-sama, defiler!**" Haruna cowered and prayed as she hid behind her slightly shorter girlfriend. Setsuna shifted her gaze from Haruna to Konoka. "Ojou-sama? Thank you for bringing Saotome here and convincing her to confess her crimes against us." Konoka shook her head slowly at Setsuna's words, petrified by the Shinmei warrior's mistaken belief that she had brought Haruna here for her comeuppance. She had to make Setsuna understand that this was not the case but, apart from standing her ground and shielding Haruna, she could not will her mouth to respond. To keep her lover from being hurt, she would have to hurt her best friend with words that would cut deeper than any sword. "You may wish to retire to the bathroom for a while, Ojou-sama. I apologize in advance for the red stains left on your carpet." Haruna doubted that Setsuna's comment meant that she had forgotten what time of the month it was. "Saotome! Out of respect for Negi-sensei and Konoka-Ojou-sama, I shan't kill you but, by Kami-sama, you_ are going to receive the soundest thrashing I can administer to a human without killing them!" _The demon blood in Setsuna's veins flowed with such intensity that the center of the spot bandage on her face grew dark red; the scratch there having reopened. Setsuna had made her intentions clear so Haruna saw no reason to put off defending herself. Haruna shoved her right hand between her blouse buttons and slid her fingers into her left bra cup where her pactio card was kept. She extracted the card a little too quickly, causing a corner of the card to catch on one of the fastened buttons, leaving her empty handed and sending the card floating to the floor. Fountains of tears erupted from Haruna's eyes as the only defensive weapon in her possession landed by Setsuna's feet. "Be grateful that the enhancement granted by your artifact will reduce some of the punishment!"

"B-B-But I haven't activated it yet!" cried Haruna.

"Then it would appear that it sucks to be you!" said Setsuna.

"_KONOKAAA!_" cried Haruna. "_PLEASE_ TALK TO HER!" The final revelation to Setsuna **had** to come from Konoka; if it came from Haruna's lips, she feared that it would come off sounding boastful and that Setsuna would see to it that they were the last words she'd ever say. With Konoka in a catatonic state, it was only a matter of time before Setsuna dragged her out from behind Konoka and pounded the shit out of her.

"Come out from behind Konoka-Ojou-sama, you simpering cad!" said Setsuna. "Accept your well deserved beating with some dignity!"

"_S-Stop it, Secchan_," whispered Konoka. Her vocal projection was weak and it lacked authority. Konoka felt this same fear of Setsuna's wrath once before in her dream and it was almost as scary a thing to behold in reality.

"_WAAAH! Sakurazaki, I said I was sorry!" _wept Haruna._ "Please don't punish me! Couldn't I just go stand in the corner?_"

"Hm? Well, all right," said Setsuna, folding her arms. "If you're willing to do that instead, then that would be fine." Setsuna closed her eyes and extended her arm, gesturing toward a corner of the room.

"Eh? _Really?_" asked Haruna in disbelief as she peeked out from behind Konoka.

"No," replied Setsuna, opening one eye and baring her teeth. "**Not really.**" Haruna felt a stinging sensation across her outer ears and then everything became blurry. It took Haruna a second to recognize the blurriness as the natural range of her vision without the aid of her glasses. Setsuna had used her superhuman speed to snatch her specs off of her face in less time than it took to blink.

"Ah! H-Hey!" sputtered Haruna.

"A formality; I wouldn't hit a rapist wearing glasses," said Setsuna. Haruna took offense to the namecalling but then second guessed herself. Was she a rapist in the eyes of the law? Haruna did not use a finger to penetrate Setsuna this morning so was that still considered rape? In Haruna's mind, rape was a crime which only a guy could commit; she had never studied its legal definition since she never had a reason to do so and she wasn't even considering criminal law as a major in college. Setsuna put Haruna's glasses on her own face and grimaced at the results. "Hnh! You're as blind as a bat." Haruna frowned from yet another person gauging her vision unfairly. Setsuna removed the glasses, dropped them by her feet and crushed them with a stomp of her right foot. "Now come out! My foot wishes to reunite your stupid rapist face with your corrective rapist eyewear!"

"_Corrective rapist eyewear?_" asked Haruna and Konoka in unison. Setsuna blushed at how ridiculous her words sounded.

"I... got caught up in the moment. Shut up!" said Setsuna. "Not you, Ojou-sama."

"AH! Konoka, you're back!" cheered Haruna. The bizarre phrase from Setsuna had snapped Konoka out of her stupor. "Please tell her why what happened happened!"

"Ojou-sama," said Setsuna, "I know that you don't condone violence but I am well within my rights here! Forgive her for what she almost did to you if you will; I can not and will not forgive her for what she did to us! She must pay the price! Please stand aside that I might avenge us!"

"I will not!" stated Konoka boldly. "Stand down, Secchan!"

"Stand... down? _**Stand down?**_" asked Setsuna. "Ojou-sama, you don't understand! My people mate for life! And our courtship traditions dictate that I may only ever accept one ka-a'kuruhk: **one!** And I unknowingly accepted... _**NRRRRRGH!**_... Saotome's!" A drop of blood escaped the adhesive circle of Setsuna's spot bandage and trickled down her mascara-smudged face at the moment she growled.

"But she wasn't proposing to you when she did that to you, Secchan," said Konoka.

"Her intentions at the time are inconsequential, Ojou-sama! What is of consequence is that I accepted the giver of ka-a'kuruhk into my heart as my betrothed. You told me that it was Saotome and I am bound by my honor to acknowledge Saotome as the holder of my heart. I cannot unhear what I have been told! She's stolen my _only chance_ at happiness as your spouse! And now I must either marry this baka or live out the rest of my days as an old maid! Needless to say, I'd sooner die than choose the former! For sentencing me to an unwed life and for nearly molesting you, _I sentence her to an asskicking! I beseech you; please stand aside, Ojou-sama!_"

_That has got to be the single stupidest tradition I've ever heard, _thought Haruna. Konoka knew that, next to idle chatter, Setsuna hated injustice and she never would have dreamed that she would be the one delivering the largest helping of injustice to Setsuna she'd ever encounter. The knife in the back of it all was that she'd be using Setsuna's own sense of loyalty to her as the means of delivering this injustice. Her heart pounded and she tried to focus on the situation. _Be strong for Paru-chan_, she told herself.

"Secchan!" said Konoka. "Tell me; who is your Ojou-sama?"

"Eh? Where did that come from?" asked Setsuna. "_You_ are, of course, but what does that-"

"That's right; _I_ am," blurted Konoka. "And as your Ojou-sama, the daughter of the man that saved your life and the girl who is and always will be your friend, I find myself forced to do something that I've neither needed to do nor wanted to do before. I am pulling rank and giving you a direct order: _**stand down and listen to me!**__ Please?_" Konoka's words stuck in her craw. She really had become someone else. The tone with which Konoka addressed Setsuna was so womanly - so authoritative - that both Setsuna and Haruna took notice and blushed.

"Ojou-sama..." said Setsuna.

"Kono-chan..." said Haruna. She slapped her hand over her own mouth and turned her head away from Setsuna as the swordswoman did a double take.

"EH? _**What did you just call her, Saotome?**_" asked Setsuna.

"Nothing! I sneezed just now!" barked Haruna.

"Secchan," said Konoka. "Stand. Down. Now." Setsuna was fuming from the familiar way Saotome addressed Konoka and as she was being deprived of her vengeance, she desperately needed to hit something. This was not her dorm so any inanimate object she smashed here would be Konoka's, Asuna's or Negi's property. In a fit of frustration, she clawed at her back and tore a hole her kimono. She called forth her wings and beat them furiously; lifting herself a few feet off the floor and causing papers and various smaller items to fall to the ground. Konoka and Haruna squealed and covered their faces, opting to protect their eyes over their modesty as their skirts flew up and exposed their panties. Setsuna did not want to embarrass her Ojou-sama and so, having vented some of her rage, she retracted her wings and landed gently on the carpet. The hair of all three girls took a turn for the worse from the gusty intermission but their immediate attention was elsewhere. "There's a reason why Haruna confessed that she meant to perform the sex act to me. If it _had_ been me in my bed this morning instead of you, the sex act wouldn't have been molestation; it would have been... consentual."

"Con..._sentual?_" asked Setsuna. "O... Ojou-sama... what... _what are you saying?_"

"You see," said Konoka, "Haruna and I... have been intimate before. When I slept over at her dorm on Saturday night... she and I... made love... and..." Konoka's voice grew softer as she approached the end her sentence. "...now _we're going steady._"

Setsuna heard her heart skip a beat and felt that it might as well have stopped beating. "_Oh,_" said Setsuna softly. Her _oh_ was not one of realization. It was an _oh_ of pain. She walked over to the window and peered through it, turning her back on her classmates. She saw a girl on the ground who was walking toward the dorm entrance and recognized her as classmate Yue Ayase. She wagered that Yue had never been hurt by her best friend Nodoka Miyazaki and envied her.

"So you can understand why it would make me _very sad_ if _any_one were to try to harm her for _any_ reason," said Konoka. "Would you see to it that... _such a thing never happens?_"

Setsuna could not deny any request made by Konoka. She begrudgingly answered Konoka's question by nodding slowly. Konoka felt an enormous weight taken off of her shoulders as she had accomplished one of her goals: ensuring Haruna's safety. Tears raced down Konoka's face as she sniffled and whimpered. The blow had been delivered to Setsuna's heart. It remained to be seen if Setsuna would allow Konoka to apply the poultice.

"_Secchan," _whimpered Konoka, _"please believe me when I say that I am so sorry that you had to find out this way. I honestly wanted to tell you about us right after it happened but... you were right there by my bed when I woke up and I just wasn't prepared emotionally to bring it up. And I didn't want to break it to you when you had been without sleep for as long as you had. Then this morning's incident with Haruna happened and..." _Konoka sniffled and shook her head slowly as she spoke._ "I'm so sorry._"

"I'm sorry, too, Sakurazaki," said Haruna who felt brave enough to speak to Setsuna now that all the fight seemed to have left the Shinmei swordswoman. "If I could take back what I did to you, I would do so in an instant. Hey, couldn't you still accept a traditional human marriage proposal?" Konoka gave Haruna's arm a gentle squeeze to get her attention. When Haruna turned to look at Konoka, the chocolate-haired girl looked into her eyes and shook her head, signifying that the manga-ka should leave well enough alone. Setsuna slowly shook her head in response to Haruna's question.

"_No," _replied Setsuna. Her voice sounded as if she had just been to a funeral._ "That much is clear in the crow tribe's sacred book of traditions... but even if I could... it would be pointless._" Konoka gathered what Setsuna meant. Setsuna was crow tribe and she could not show her wings to anyone and remain with them. She had bent that rule before for Negi, Asuna, Konoka and Ala Alba and that was a compromise she did not want to have to make again. If Setsuna was able to marry someone else and kept her true form a secret, she would be living a lie - and keeping a secret from your betrothed was no way to go through married life. Konoka failed to see how Setsuna could hold such reverence for the ways of the crow tribe when those very same customs were the reason Setsuna was an outcast.

"Sakurazaki, listen," said Haruna. "I don't have to tell you that we've never been very close in the past... and I don't need my glasses to see that we certainly won't be any closer in the future... _and_ I know that you don't owe me any favors... but I think I speak for Konoka when I say that you'd be doing us a solid if you didn't report the... _mistake_ that I made with you... to the Headmaster." Konoka was glad that Haruna had thought to mention this since, with all of the other things on her mind, the notion of Setsuna reporting the incident had not occurred to her. What happened this morning qualified as a sex crime and a sex crime committed on campus by a student against another student was punishable by immediate expulsion. Konoka didn't believe her best friend was capable of spite and yet, with the shock Setsuna received from their confessions, there was no telling which road her bodyguard's grief would take. And if Setsuna did get Haruna expelled, Konoka would be losing two friends instead of one. Sensing that Setsuna would not grant this request simply because Haruna had asked for it, Konoka decided to let the person she had become ask Setsuna.

"_Secchan? I know it's a lot to ask of you but I wouldn't ask such a thing if I thought that you were incapable of reason. I'm sure that you can see that what happened this morning was an accident." _Konoka fiddled with her necktie as she directed her words toward Setsuna's partially exposed back._ "Granted, I wasn't aware of your tribe's traditions so that makes this even harder for me to request but, for what it's worth, I would take it as an enormous personal favor if you were to overlook this. If the roles were reversed, would __**you**__ want to be expelled from Mahora... and be taken away from me... for making an honest mistake?_"

Setsuna hesitated and then slowly shook her head. Konoka continued her plea.

"_I would no longer have the right to call myself your friend if I made you do something that compromised your principles and I wouldn't blame you if you did tell Grandpa but... if you do this for us... for me... then I promise that I'll never ask anything of you ever again._"

Setsuna did not speak for 30 seconds but it felt more like 30 hours to Konoka and Haruna. The only sound that came from Setsuna was her partially labored breathing. She felt that Konoka's offer was a poor bargaining chip since she was now ineligible to be asked the one thing she wanted Konoka to ask her more than anything: the request to be her betrothed.

"_Very well," _said Setsuna._ "If that is your wish, Ojou-sama, then I won't report this._"

"_Thank you, Secchan," _said Konoka._"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am in your debt._"

Konoka dropped to her knees and bowed to Setsuna.

"Y-Yes," echoed Haruna. "Thank you, Sakurazaki. I am in your debt as well." Haruna followed Konoka's example and humbled herself before Setsuna. Apart from some sniffling, an awkward silence had kidnapped the room. Setsuna still stood in the same spot with her back to her classmates. Konoka sustained her bow as did Haruna; although Haruna wondered how much longer it would be necessary to remain on her knees.

"_So,"_ said Konoka, "_Yeah, I guess that's it. Oh, I'll ask daddy to reimburse you for the roses and kimono since this didn't... turn out the way you... um..." _Konoka sniffled as she dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief._ "I'll have him cut you a check first thing tomorrow._" Setsuna nodded wordlessly; her back still turned. "Secchan, what you said... about waiting for me... I am truly honored beyond my ability to express. If things had worked out differently, I..." Konoka cleared her throat and swallowed yet it did nothing to steady the quake in her voice for the question she was terrified to ask and even more terrified to hear answered. Her lower lip trembled like a set of novelty chattering teeth and her throat hurt when she drew in the breath she needed to phrase the question. "_Oh, Secchan... can you ever forgive me?_" Konoka didn't phrase the question so much as she whimpered it.

There was an eternity of silence before Setsuna's reply.

"_I believe," _said Setsuna,_ "that I... that I need to use the restroom. Please excuse me, Ojou-sama._"

This was the answer that Konoka dreaded because she knew it to mean that Setsuna's answer was no. Konoka covered her mouth which hung open in sorrow and she bawled uncontrollably as she lay on the floor. Setsuna walked past Konoka and Haruna to the front door. Haruna managed to catch a glimpse of Setsuna's eyes before she left. They were as vacant as a corpse's and the dark trails where her mascara ran, combined with the blood, made Setsuna look like a zombie.

"Konoka? Doesn't she know that your bathroom is that way?" asked Haruna.

"_Yes_," replied Konoka softly. Setsuna left the dorm and closed the door behind her. Haruna got to her feet and

"Is she coming back?" asked Haruna. Konoka looked directly into Haruna's eyes.

"_Would __**you**_?" asked Konoka rhetorically. Haruna breathed a sigh of relief that Konoka's full sentence was not "_would you get out of here?" _as she had thought at first.

Suddenly, Konoka's eyes opened widely and she quickly sprinted to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth. Realizing that she was not going to make it in time, Konoka changed direction and dashed over to the kitchen where she proceeded to vomit into the sink. Konoka turned on the water to wash away the mess. Haruna ran over to look after Konoka and found that her beloved had chunks of vomit in her hair which got caught in the path of her spew. Breathing through her mouth so as to spare herself the acrid smell, Haruna took the extending spray nozzle attachment and rinsed the sink clean before thoroughly rinsing the lengths of Konoka's hair that were hit. She tore a sheet from the paper towel dispenser, moistened it with some water and wiped Konoka's face clean. Haruna knew that Konoka was prone to fainting so she wrapped her left arm around Konoka's torso while looping Konoka's right arm over her shoulder. She carefully guided her shaken angel over to the couch where they sat together.

"Are you okay, Kono-chan?" asked Haruna. Konoka breathed through her mouth and nodded slowly although she appeared to be out of sorts. Her eyes darted to and fro as she repeatedly asked herself the same question: _what have I done? _Haruna spotted one of Konoka's hairbrushes on the coffee table. She took it and began to brush Konoka's windblown hair back into place. "You know, barfing aside, you are one tough little trooper. I am so proud of you! The way you stood up and got all up in Setsuna's face? It was as if I had my very own personal superheroine! I fell in love with you all over again." Konoka managed to produce a fraction of a smile in response to Haruna's words; it was simply too soon for a facial expression any more positive than that. "Well, that wasn't nearly as bad as I was afraid it would be. Thanks to you, I'm still in one piece - and, hey, I didn't say one unnecessary thing!" Konoka could tell that Haruna was being silly and her expression told Haruna that silliness appreciation week was over. "Hey, now… there's no need to be sore, Kono-chan. We've crossed the finish line. Call me crazy but I think we just won."

"Then I'm happy for you, Haruna... because all I can think about... is... _what I just lost._"

Haruna held Konoka gently, allowing her distraught lover to cry into her bosom as much as she needed. Haruna found it easy to sympathize with Konoka; she would be just as upset if she had lost Yue's or Nodoka's respect. An outsider might have made Haruna out to be the bad guy in this situation. Haruna didn't care about that. Life wasn't fair. Life only gives what you pry from it by force. She was not about to apologize to anyone for scoring a home run when some people never even took a turn at bat. She replayed the entire meeting with Setsuna in her head and something about it nagged at her. It was entirely possible that, knowing Konoka well enough to guess that she would throw up, Setsuna opted to use one of the restrooms out in the hall so that the toilet would be freed up for Konoka's use. The notion that those two shared such a rapport was both frightening and depressing to Haruna.

* * *

><p>Setsuna ran for the farthest public restroom from Konoka's room and barely got to one of the stalls in time before involuntarily emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Her visceral heaves echoed throughout the restroom and she would have apologized to anyone else in a nearby stall for subjecting them to this unsavory audio were she able to stop vomiting. Her eyes were watery from her ordeal and she coughed and spat into the bowl; her nausea leaving her long enough to allow her to reflect. She flushed the toilet and sat on the floor, alone in a room designed for the disposal of waste. <em>How appropriate<em>, thought Setsuna. With what little self preservation she had left, she slowly leaned her head back against the stall wall, drew her eyes shut tightly and wept softly.

Her dream of being Konoka's betrothed had been stolen from her. Her first sexual experience - which should have been with Konoka; which should have been her proposal and her most cherished memory - had been stolen from her. Her best friend and partner had been stolen from her and to top it all off, both the thief and the treasure wanted her complicity which Setsuna gave without protest. Setsuna didn't just feel betrayed. She felt forsaken. Since day one, Setsuna had done nothing but pledge her loyalty to the Konoe family and her sword to Konoka. All of the hardships which Setsuna had endured at the Shinmei school had just been rewarded with a dagger to the heart. Was this all that her unwavering servitude had earned her?

It was just a few short nights ago when Konoka was acting so coquettish toward her and wasn't even on speaking terms with Haruna... and now this? How could Haruna bedevil Konoka in so short a time? There must have been some alcohol involved at some point. Surely Haruna was not above employing shady tactics to get what she wanted. Sadly, it dawned on Setsuna that alcohol only lowered inhibitions; it wouldn't make you do something which you wouldn't want to. The thought of Konoka wanting Haruna made her heart sink. The thought of Konoka being intimate with Haruna made her want to heave again but her stomach was now empty and she feared that if she gave in to the nausea, she'd be bringing up chunks of her soul - or at least what was left of it.

Ultimately, it didn't matter how Haruna had captured Konoka's heart. The truth was that Setsuna had allowed this to happen by not staking her own claim long ago. She had been content being by Konoka's side and didn't want to risk anything more for fear of losing what she already had. Setsuna had never dreamed that someone would come along and steal Konoka away. With a heart as large as Konoka's, why _wouldn't_ she want to move forward into a romantic relationship with someone? A close friendship might have been enough for Setsuna but it was not enough for Konoka. Setsuna had many opportunities to confess her feelings to Konoka and she let them pass her by. This was bound to happen sooner or later. While she knew that the blame rested upon her own shoulders, she focused her rage and pain on Haruna.

Haruna the Bold. Haruna the Talented. Haruna the Popular. Haruna the Funny. Haruna the Well-Endowed. And now, Haruna the Girlfriend of Konoka. Haruna was so many things that Setsuna was not that it was a wonder that Konoka even gave Setsuna the time of day. There wasn't a cell in Setsuna's body that would have hesitated to snap Haruna's neck for what she had done and yet, had she actually killed the manga-ka, there would have been a price to pay. Konoka would have been devastated, Asuna and Negi would have been disappointed and Eishun would have been mortified. Was any price really all that steep anymore if the only thing of any value to Setsuna was now off the market?

Setsuna got to her feet and removed her kimono, piece by piece. Setsuna was topless underneath her kimono but she was not nude. She wore an elegant red corset, a matching garter belt, partially transparent red silk panties and red silk stockings. Rose patterns appeared on all of the pieces. These garments made up the hidden thirteenth bouquet of which she spoke. In the past, it would have taken a while for Setsuna to muster up the courage to enter the boutique which sold such racy undergarments, even with the added benefit of an age misrepresentation pill. This afternoon, Setsuna had the courage in spades to make the purchase because she was under the impression that she had received Konoka's pledge of matrimony and there was no obstacle which love could not overcome. This was to be a special love emsemble for Konoka's eyes only and Setsuna spent the entire afternoon imagining Konoka's joyful expression upon seeing the undergarments. It was an expression that she would never see now.

Her lips trembled and she whimpered incoherently as she tore each piece of the kimono into small strips, stopping occasionally to dab her eyes dry or blow her nose into the strips. She dropped the strips into the toilet and flushed it constantly to prevent the shreds from accumulating to where they might cause a clog. When she had flushed away the last of the kimono strips, she looked down at what she now wore. As they would only remind her of her loss to Haruna, she angrily tore the pieces of lingerie off of her body and threw them into the bowl with such force that water splashed back at her.

She felt a chill from head to toe and folded her arms across her chest to warm herself. Her lip began to quiver as a tidal wave of heartbreak overtook her. She was cold, the floor was cold and the only warmth to be found was from the tears which ran down her face. Keeping her elbows against her body, she covered her face with both hands, drew in a deep breath and expelled it instantly with an even louder sustained sob. When she wasn't sobbing, her lungs were drawing in more air to fuel her next sob. Her bare back slid against the cold stall wall as she sank to the floor and she laid on her left side on the cold and filthy tiles. For the first time in a long time, Setsuna had no idea what to do next and it terrified her. She couldn't call anyone to help her. Her kimono had no pockets and she had left Konoka's room in such a state that she had forgotten to collect her cell phone and her pactio cards (which had her registered outfits imprinted upon them). What could she do? Even if she could think of anything, what could possibly be worth undertaking now that Haruna was Konoka's lover? She cried with renewed anguish at the futility of trying to come up with an answer to that question. She had invested so much of herself into her friendship with Konoka that its absence made the universe seem both tiny and enormous. There was no longer a place in it for her. She was just a foolish little crow in a human's world and no one ever gave a damn about a crow's tears. Where could she go? She may have had a dorm with Tatsumiya but with Konoka's heart now in Haruna's care, Setsuna was, for all intents and purposes, homeless.

(_I took some liberties with the crow tribe traditions and I do hope that you, dear readers, won't give me too much hell over it. It seemed to be fair game for fan interpretation as very little has been officially covered regarding the crow tribe. Here's what I say: if white wings are grounds for abandoning one's offspring, is a marriage proposal via cunnilingus that much more outrageous?_)


	9. Love In The Time Of AtenRa

(On one hand, it breaks my heart that, as of late, I can't seem to post more than once a month. On the other hand, I feel that I'm turning out higher quality stuff now. Looking over my previous chapters, I see that I have quite a bit of editing to do on them. I will work on bringing those up to snuff when I'm at the halfway point of my story. I rushed 80% of them for the sake of getting it out there.)

(Have you ever fantasized about doing something mean, illegal or immoral which you know you would never do in real life? Sure you have, you sick bastard. Just kidding. Most people have done that at one time or another and in this chapter we get to peek into Yue's head to find that she is not exempt from having such fantasies. Read on but be advised that this chapter has earned its M rating. Oh, and I apologize in advance for the excessive exposition; it didn't feel right without it.)

Yue was mentally operating on autopilot and had been for the duration of her journey from Library Island to the train station – even all the way up to the entrance of the dorm building. Her cell phone had chimed out several times during her walk but she ignored it. She had been lost in deep thought from which she was finally stirred when she discovered that the building's pass key reader would not recognize the tissue packet she placed against it as a legitimate claim to rightful admission. Hanging her head and blushing with a smirk, she put away the tissue packet, removed her wallet and tapped it against the key reader which then beeped merrily upon detecting the pass key within. She pushed the door open and entered the lobby which welcomed her with a kiss of air conditioning. Sitting at his desk in the lobby was the afternoon-to-evening shift security guard Hidoshi-san. He was a kindly older man in his early to mid-50's with a gentle face that was often buried behind a newspaper. Hidoshi reminded Yue of her grandfather in his younger days and they were always cordial toward one other.

"Good evening, Ayase-san," said Hidoshi.

"Good evening, Hidoshi-san," said Yue. She bowed politely and he returned the gesture. "Anything interesting in the news today?"

"Have you heard about this Takashi guy?"

"I think so. Isn't he some kind of wanted criminal?"

"He's a molester who assaulted some girls in the area a few weeks ago." Hidoshi turned his paper around and showed Yue the police sketch. With his prominent cheekbones, grayish complexion and chin-only facial hair, Yue thought that the man resembled a zombie goat working for the yakuza. "Says here that he did hard time for... crimes against women and when they catch him this time, he'll be tried as a repeat offender and could go away for a decade or longer. The cops say that they're hot on his trail but that he's still on the loose. He's in seclusion and could be hiding anywhere but when he does come out, you can be sure he'll try something again. His targets have all been young girls with long hair so, naturally, I thought of you. Until he's in police custody, I'd walk home with a group of friends whenever possible if I were you... or maybe get a haircut."

With her current level of magic and self defense training which she learned from her time in the magical world, Yue could subdue a normal human quite handily. Considering the range of mid-level to final boss power level characters that Yue had faced, loosening some teeth from the skull of a human fugitive from justice would be more than a welcome change of pace - and she might not even have to use magic to do it. Upon his return to prison, Takashi's fellow inmates would most likely never let him hear the end of being knocked out by a female junior high student. Additionally, if she brought him down singlehandedly, she might even get her photo on the cover of the Mahora News. But most importantly, Yue was looking forward to taking her Nodoka-born frustration out on a deserving target.

She could see the headline now: **HEROIC TEEN CAPTURES MOLESTER - Spends Reward Money On Juice.**

"You're sweet to be concerned for my safety, Hidoshi-san, but my hair length is definitely nonnegotiable," said Yue with a smile. "And believe it or not, I'm quite capable of defending myself." Dropping her bookbag on the floor, she threw several of her more impressive martial arts punch combinations at an imaginary assailant for Hidoshi to witness. "In fact, I would **love** it if this guy exposed himself to **me.**"

Realizing how lewd that sounded, Yue's face grew so red with embarrassment that it was a wonder how she could have blood remaining anywhere else in her body. She closed her eyes tightly, covered her face with both hands and wished that Kami-sama would either give her back the last five seconds of her life or end her life altogether.

"You want me to pretend that I didn't hear that?" asked Hidoshi. Yue could only reply by nodding quickly which caused the sleigh bells in her braids to jingle. "Have a good evening, Ayase-san. Be safe." Without removing her hands, Yue bowed politely and ran through the door to the stairwell. Moments later, she returned from the stairwell, grabbed her bookbag from the floor, bowed to Hidoshi once again and barreled through the stairwell door.

_Once a Baka Ranger, always a Baka Ranger_, thought Yue. Her face slowly returned to its normal color and she ascended the stairs and reflected on the events that brought her to this point.

Earlier this afternoon, Nodoka had goaded her into revealing that she had feelings for Emily and Yue left her to walk home alone. The whole thing left a bad taste in Yue's mouth; a taste of betrayal. As roomies and best friends, she knew would have to forgive Nodoka sooner or later but she'd be damned if she didn't want this forgiveness to be given later - _much_ later. It would have been a different matter altogether if Haruna had been the one trying to wrest this revelation from her. Harvesting information by any means necessary - especially confessions of the heart - was Haruna's stock and trade and Yue would have had no reason to let her guard down around her. This was Nodoka and Nodoka should have known better than to exploit the implicit trust which they shared by using it as a means of tipping the scales of love in her favor. What Nodoka did was take a baby step over a line which Yue never wanted to see crossed. Yue feared that their rivalry would turn Nodoka into a different person and she did not want to see the Nodoka she knew and loved become someone else any more than she wanted to lose her as a friend altogether. No boy was worth that; not even a boy as wonderful as Negi. Yue considered the possibility that she was reading too much into this whole fiasco but she was a teenage girl; she was allowed to make mountains out of mole hills.

The tails side of Yue's coin of angst which was no less problematic than the heads side was the revelation itself: her sexual orientation was in doubt. This was strikingly similar to the last time she realized that she had fallen in love. There was no warning; the realization just snuck up on her and attacked. _Stupid brain,_ she thought. _If you're __**my**__ brain, why can't you just give me the answer sheet __**before**__ my heart gives me the pop quizzes?_

As a rabid devourer of books, Yue had an inquisitive mind and an appetite for learning as much as she could about the things which interested her. In this respect, her sexual orientation had always been a dead end. She was straight; end of story. While falling in love with a boy two-thirds her age was certainly unexpected, she _always_ expected that any person for whom she would develop special feelings would be a _male_. So many questions arose from this discovery. Was she bi? Was she in love or was this strictly a physical attraction? Would Emily - or any girl - even find her underdeveloped body attractive? Questions aside, Emily was literally a world away. For all Yue knew, the Ariadne War Maiden Cadet Commander was happily heterosexual and unreceptive to female advances. Yue felt it would be best if she was sure of her _own_ orientation before taking the first step toward discerning _Emily's_.

Reaching her dorm's floor, Yue pushed open the door which led to the corridor and left the stairwell. At the far end of the corridor, she could see two people - one standing and one seated - positioned right about where the door to her dorm was located. The standing person took notice of Yue's approach and walked toward her. Upon closer inspection, Yue was able to identify the person as student number 8 and fellow Baka Ranger Asuna Kagurazaka with Chamo sitting atop her left shoulder. Asuna was carrying a medium-sized overnight bag over her right shoulder and seemed to be irritated .

"There you are; about time one of you booktards showed up," said Asuna who meant _booktards_ in a nice way. "Where have you been? I had to do my homework out here in the corridor. And where are Paru and Honya-chan? I've been trying to get in touch with them. It's bedtime for me. I have papers to deliver tomorrow and Negi has a class to teach in the morning. He's so wiped after a day's teaching and training that he dozed off right by your door." Yue tried to peer around Asuna so that she could catch a glimpse of her crush's sleeping face but Asuna angled her body to obscure Yue's line of sight. "Hel-lo? I'm talking to you, Yue-chan."

"I-I'm sorry," said Yue. "Why were you waiting for _us_?" asked Yue. "Are you locked out of your own dorm or something?"

"You mean you don't know, Yuetchi?" asked Chamo. "We're your guests tonight. Setsuna asked Aniki, Anesan and me if we wouldn't mind sleeping over at the Library Three's dorm for the night. She said that she cleared it with Nodoka-nesan so we decided to oblige her. Didn't she tell you?"

"No, this is the first I've heard of it," replied Yue, "but you three are welcome here any time. Did Setsuna mention why she wanted you to vacate your dorm?"

"Not exactly," said Asuna. "but from what I could gather, Setsuna has something special planned for Konoka." Yue fidgeted with discomfort as Asuna's words signified that neither Asuna nor Chamo knew that Konoka and Haruna were now a couple. Deliberately leaving someone out of the loop wasn't Yue's style and she looked forward to the time when this was all out in the open.

"If you ask me, I'll bet she's got something sexy planned, said Chamo. "She looked super happy - maybe they're finally going to consummate their love!" Chamo had tears of desire run down his white cheeks. "That's got to be it! Oh, to be a fly on the wall during _that! _It might not be too late for me to head back to our room and hide a webcam behind a flower pot or something." Asuna snatched the ermine off of her shoulder and dropped him on the ground. Chamo landed on his feet and looked up at Asuna who did not appear to be very pleased with his behavior. "Eh? What gives, Anesan?"

"_Our_ room?" asked Asuna. "You're not a boarder, you're a squatter. And what did I tell you about going into pervert mode while you're standing on my shoulder?" asked Asuna.

"Hey, I more than pay for my lodging with my sagacious advice and winning personality," argued Chamo. "And there's nothing perverted about love. Sweet love." Chamo rubbed his paws together and began to drool as his eyes grew larger and more vacant by the second. "Sweet girl on girl love. Sweet, hot, naked, sweaty, passionate girl on girl love. Swee-" Chamo didn't get to finish his observation due to Asuna soccer kicking him down the corridor and straight into the side of Negi's head. Negi was so exhausted that the impact failed to rouse him from his slumber. Asuna turned her attention back to Yue.

"Damned pervy ermine. What gets me so mad is how he behaves himself around Konoka," said Asuna. "Around me, though, it's perfectly okay to be a dirty old man. After all, why should anyone show _me_ any respect, right? It's not as if I'm a lady or anything."

"I think he behaves himself around Konoka mostly because he knows that if he didn't, Konoka would probably cry and Setsuna would carve him into bits for that," postulated Yue. "Anyway, to answer your earlier question, Nodoka and I... parted ways rather hastily at Library Island so she may have tried to tell me before I left." Yue took her cell phone out of her pocket and saw several message notifications. "Ah, see? I have some unread texts from Nodoka; I'll bet one of these mentions you three coming over. I sincerely apologize for keeping you waiting out here, guys. Had I known, I would have come back much sooner to meet you. As for Haruna, I suspect that she's with Konoka somewhere."

"That can't be right," said Asuna. "Setsuna wanted to meet with Konoka immediately after school today. Haruna would just be in the way if she was still with them."

"That's my best guess," said Yue with a shrug. "Anyway, here; I'll let you in." Yue unlocked the door and pushed it open for Asuna. "Help yourselves to a bath, drinks, snacks, and whatever else you'd like."

"Oh, aren't you coming in, Yue-chan?" asked Asuna. She carried the still sleeping Negi in her arms and had plopped Chamo's limp spiral-eyed body onto Negi's lap. Upon seeing this, Yue believed that it was the hundredth time she had wanted to trade places with Asuna and the first time that she had ever wanted to trade places with Chamo.

"No, I think I'll go see if I can find Haruna first. If she is in your dorm with Konoka and Setsuna, I'll grab her and drag her back down here. If Nodoka gets here before I return, tell her that I'm... just tell her that you saw me. I'll be certain to enter quietly when I return so as not to wake you."

"And I'll do the same for you when I leave for work in the morning," said Asuna.

"Thank you," said Yue. "Oh, I do need to grab one thing before I go." Yue skipped off to the kitchen where she grabbed a cylindrical container from a cabinet and placed it in her bookbag. As she headed for the door, she turned to face Asuna who was setting Negi down on the couch. "If I don't make it back before you go to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow morning in class."

"M'kay, thanks, Yue-chan," said Asuna. "Bye."

Once Yue had locked the front door behind her, she ran as quickly as she could to the stairwell to get to Konoka's dorm, praying that the worst had not come to pass. Haruna should have returned to their dorm much earlier than this. She called Haruna on her cell as she ran. Haruna answered on the second ring.

"Hey," said Haruna.

"Hey yourself," said Yue. "Where are you? Are you all right?"

"I'm at Konoka's dorm. And yeah, I'm fine - though my glasses have seen better days."

"Ow. Setsuna hit you in the face?"

"No, but she didn't keep it a secret that she wanted to. Konoka kept that from happening, though."

"So she knows about you two?"

"Yeah. It's a long story; I'll fill you in on everything later."

"Wait, so is it over? I was on my way to see you." Yue slowed her advancement to a casual walk.

"Yeah. We told Setsuna and she left just a minute or two ago. And it's over for now, I suppose. Anyway, Konoka isn't feeling so hot so it might not be the best time for company."

"Oh. Okay. I understand. I'll head back then. You're sure you're all right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'm just exhausted from all of the drama. Since everyone's crashing at our dorm anyway, I think I'll crash here tonight."

"Wait, _you_ knew about them sleeping over, too? Everyone knew but me. Setsuna must not think very highly of me."

"You're a saint in her eyes compared to what she thinks of _me_ right now. And I didn't hear about the sleepover from Setsuna; Konoka told me. I'm gonna get going. I'm going to take a bath and get ready for bed here pretty soon."

"All right. Sleep well."

"You, too. And Yue?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

"For fucking."

"Excuse me?"

"No, really; friends are for fucking."

"First I've heard of this."

"Hey, you asked me and I'm telling you. I just bought this huge battery operated strap-on dildo and the next time I see you, I'm gonna put it on and peg that sweet ass of yours... as friends... so hard that your eyes will turn brown." Yue and Haruna spent so much time in each other's company that they rarely spoke on the phone and Haruna was taking full advantage of the fact that she was out of book smacking range. Yue smirked in spite of herself at Haruna's playfulness since it reminded her that her friend was alive and unharmed.

"With friends like you, who needs enemas?" asked Yue rhetorically. "The next time you see me will be tomorrow morning in homeroom. I think Negi-sensei might have something to say about you anally raping me at my desk."

Haruna was unusually silent after Yue's comment.

"Uh... yeah," said Haruna. "Listen, I gotta go. Later."

"Later," said Yue.

Yue terminated the call and pocketed her cell. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled with a sigh. A nice hot bath was in order for all of the trials and tribulations she had endured today. Without some towels, soap, shampoo and a change of clothes, a trip to the bath hall was not in Yue's future. All of her bathing sundries were in her dorm but Nodoka may have returned by now and she wasn't looking forward to bumping into her just yet. She found the silence in the hallway somewhat unsettling and couldn't shake a feeling of loneliness. She was glad that Haruna was in one piece but she had just been brushed off by her second closest friend and it sort of hurt. She was hoping to discuss these newfound feelings for Emily with them. In an attempt to make herself feel better, Yue reasoned that Setsuna must be hurting a thousand times more than she was. The Shinmei warrior was undoubtedly heartbroken and most likely wanted to be left alone to her grief.

As she was about to open the door to the stairwell, Yue noticed the public restroom. Each floor had at least two such restrooms for guests and other non-residents. Looking down the corridor behind her and the corridor to her left, she saw that the coast was clear. Peering inside, she verified that all of the stall doors were open and that the restroom was unoccupied. No one was actively looking for her or expecting her back any time soon and her homework was finished. This was a perfect opportunity for her to _magisterbate_, a portmanteau she coined to affectionately refer to the act of pleasuring herself while fantasizing about the too-hot-to-handle-too-cold-to-hold-age-misrepresented-15-year-old Negi.

She entered the stall to the far left, locked it behind her, placed her bookbag on the floor and reached underneath her skirt with both hands where her fingers found her panty sidestrings draped along her thighs. Tugging on both ends until she felt the familiar slip of the knots having loosened, Yue removed her panties, folded them and placed them on the casing which housed the rolls of bathroom tissue. She lifted her skirt, sat on the toilet seat and picked up her bookbag. A brief rummage through her bookbag later, she found the only friend that had yet to betray her: a small unassuming tube of water-based personal lubricant. She squeezed a dollop of lubricant on the fingertips of her right hand and rubbed them together so as to bring the gelatinous substance up to body temperature. Once it was warm enough to administer comfortably, she closed her eyes, placed her fingers between her legs and gently rubbed herself.

Yue liked to take her time doing this and slowly build up to a fever pitch at the height of her fantasy. This wasn't something she did often but when she did do it, she made a concentrated effort to make the fantasy as rich with details as a trashy paperpack novel. As she formulated an elaborate scenario to stoke the fire of her pleasure, she had an idea. This session would be different than the previous ones for, today, she would be implementing a new element to her fantasy to test the waters of bisexuality.

* * *

><p><em>Yuefertiti was an affluent and all powerful empress of an arid desert nation. Her wealth was matched only by her cunning and beauty. She was adorned with priceless jewels, rings, anklets and bracelets. A simple schenti graced her waist and atop her head was a nemes headdress with an ornate headpiece of an asp with its hood expanded. Her eyes were accentuated with dark eyeliner and golden kohl graced her eyelids. Her lips were painted with ruby red ochre to match the lacquer on her long fingernails and she smelled of the finest scented oils. She sat upon a magnificent polished marble throne which was custom made to allow her feet to reach the dais, thereby diminishing the appearance of her diminutive height. Standing off to the far corner of the dais was Vizier Haruna Saotome who was Yuefertiti's highest ranking personal aide.<em>

_Servants Mana Tatsumiya and Yuuna Akashi, who were wearing nothing other than their schentis, knelt submissively at either side of the throne holding silver platters filled with various hot roasted meats, fresh fruit and juice boxes. At the center of the throne room was a long rectangular pool where several 60 centimeter long nishikigoi swam peacefully. Ku Fei and Kaede Nagase, Yuefertiti's personal palace guards, stood vigilantly at the foot of the stairs leading to the dais. Along the sides of the pool were numerous courtiers, most of them girls looking to hobnob with other members of high society and gain Yuefertiti's favor._

_Yuefertiti took a piece of sliced meat from Mana's platter, bit a portion off and chewed it. Exhaling through her mouth to cool the meat within, she found that the flavor was to her liking but she did not feel like finishing it. She deliberately tossed the remainder of the slice onto Mana's left breast. The meat adhered to Mana's skin and she could do little more than shed a tear from the near scalding heat._

_Yuefertiti took a pre-punctured juice box from Yuuna's tray and took a healthy sip. It was of the finest quality - as were all of the victuals in her palace - and yet it failed to appease Yuefertiti. She squeezed the box and shot the remainder of the juice at Yuuna's breasts. Yuuna shivered in silence as the cold beverage chilled her nipples. Yuefertiti returned the empty box to the platter and clapped her hands twice to summon the royal court jester. If she couldn't be satisfied with food and drink, perhaps some jocularity would alter her mood._

_In walked Nodoka, dressed in a ridiculous looking full body camel suit with her face sticking out of a hole where the camel's neck was. Nodoka cleared her throat before speaking up._

"_U-um, s-stop me if you've heard this one before, your eminence," said Nodoka. The throne room was so large that Nodoka's timid voice was barely audible. "A second grade school teacher, as part of a world studies lesson, had each of her students stand up, state their nationality and their parents' country of origin. One of the students - a little boy - said 'I am Norwegian and my mother and father are both from Norwegia.' The teacher, in order to correct her student, said 'Nor**WAY**.' to which the boy replied by saying 'No, really, they are.' Eh heh."_

_The throne room fell so silent that Yuefertiti could hear the nishikigoi swimming around inside the pool._

"_I haven't heard that joke before," said Yuefertiti, "so I didn't stop you. Now that I **have** heard it, I find myself compelled to stop you from telling that joke... or any joke... ever again. Ku Fei... Kaede... would you please do the world of comedy a favor and remove Nodoka from the stage of life?" The guardswomen approached Nodoka and stood on either side of the terribly unfunny comedienne, giving her a sinister grin. Nodoka looked back and forth at each of them before burying her face into her hands. She wept as Ku Fei dragged her off to the courtyard by the nape of the camel costume's neck while Kaede followed with a two-handed scimitar resting over her shoulder. Yuefertiti leaned over the armrest of her throne to speak to her vizier Haruna. Haruna leaned toward Yuefertiti to save her some distance. "Vizier Saotome, notify the royal costuming department that we'll need another camel costume for the next applicant for the position of royal court jester."_

"_Begging your pardon, your eminence," said Haruna, "but there **are** no more applicants for the position of royal court jester."_

"_What? How could that be?" asked Yuefertiti. "The wages are first rate."_

"_Yes, but the turnaround is literally murder," said Haruna. "Word of your destructive criticism has traveled quickly, your eminence."_

"_Ohhh, sarcophagus. All right then; **you** shall make me laugh, Vizier."_

"_M-Me, your eminence?"_

"_Yes, tell me a joke, Vizier. Hurry before I become ill-tempered."_

"_Please, your eminence," said Haruna nervously as she begged off with her hands. "I don't believe that my sense of humor is on the same level as yours."_

"_Tell me a joke or I don't believe that your **head** will be on the same level as mine. You might as well try since you have everything to lose."_

"_Uhhhh..." Haruna rifled through her mental catalogue of go-to jokes and none of them struck her as being of lifesaving caliber._

"_I had better laugh," said Yuefertiti, "or I swear by Aten-Ra that, before the chopping block becomes the last pillow you'll ever need, I'll give you _**such**_ a pinch!" Yuefertiti tapped her thumb and index finger together like a crab claw several times to show that she meant business._

"_Um, okay, I've got one," said Haruna._

"_Goody!" said Yuefertiti with a grin and a swing of her feet._

"_Why does kicking King Tut in the balls turn women on?" asked Haruna._

_Yuefertiti crossed her legs and drummed her fingers against her chin as she gave the question some serious thought. Finally, she threw her arms up in surrender._

"_I give up," admitted Yuefertiti. "Why **does** kicking King Tut in the balls turn women on?"_

"_Because it produces pharaoh moans," said Haruna._

_Yuefertiti appeared to be just as unmoved by Haruna's riddle as she was with Nodoka's joke. Haruna smiled nervously as gallons of perspiration poured down her forehead. Yuefertiti closed her eyes and sighed, her mouth forming an X. Then, ever so slowly, a smile formed upon her face. Her body trembled as she began to chuckle. The chuckle evolved into a giggle which then gave way to a full and hearty laugh. Having been given the green light to do so, the sycophantic courtiers in attendance laughed along with their empress. Haruna, relieved that her riddle appeased her empress, scratched the back of her head and chuckled as well but she then shrieked when she felt Yuefertiti pinch her hip. Haruna rubbed her hip and she whimpered with disbelief that she had received her pre-decapitation pinch. How could this be? Yuefertiti was laughing so what had gone wrong?_

"_Nor**WAY**! That's hilarious! I just got that." shouted Yuefertiti as she wiped laughter born tears from her eyes. "Ahhhhhh... Second graders **are** pretty stupid, aren't they? Ku Fei... Kaede... please relieve Miss Saotome of her penthouse real estate, would you?" Haruna bawled as she was dragged off to the courtyard by Ku Fei and Kaede. Yuefertiti clasped her hands and rubbed them together. "So what's on my agenda this afternoon, Vizier? Oh. Right. I had her executed. Does anyone know if I have any appointments today?"_

"_Your eminence, an emissary from Slavemaster Seras of Ariadne awaits your favor," said Natsumi. "She said something about delivering merchandise you had ordered."_

"_Sweet!" said Yuefertiti enthusiastically. "I mean... Excellent. I am ready to receive them."_

_A tall blond haired tan girl clad in form fitting black leather armor from the neck down entered the throne room. She strode to the foot of the stairs with poise and grace and she had an air about her that led one to believe that she was a person of breeding and culture. Behind her trudged a tall young man around the same age with untamed red hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail. He was wearing nothing but a simple draping loincloth about his waist._

"_Am I addressing High Empress Yuefertiti of Ayasegypt?" said the blonde girl._

"_You have that honor, yes," said Yuefertiti._

"_Good afternoon, your eminence. I am Chief Slave Broker Emily Sevensheep, apprentice of Slavemaster Seras. My humble caravan has traversed many treacherous expanses of desert wastelands to bring you your merchandise."_

"_You're a bit overdressed for my country, aren't you?" asked Yuefertiti, who felt the same way about the fetching young man by Emily's side._

"_Perhaps," said Emily. "This is the Sevensheep Family dress armor, your eminence. I am to wear it when meeting with royalty, dignitaries, heads of state and the like. It has been worn by the women of my noble bloodline for generations."_

"_Ew," said Yuefertiti._

"_Ewwwwww," said the courtiers collectively._

"_**IT'S NOT THE SAME ONE!**" shouted Emily angrily. Reminding herself that she should not raise her voice at clients, Emily cleared her throat and regained her composure. "Begging your eminence's pardon... What I meant was that this same **design** of armor has been used by my family for generations; not this same **suit** of armor, your eminence."_

"_I apologize for the misunderstanding," said Yuefertiti. "I meant no offense."_

"_No offense was taken, your eminence," said Emily. "I just... get that reaction more often than not. Now then, for the business at hand: here is your merchandise." Yuefertiti descended the stairs and approached her new slave with a pleased grin. She walked around him once to examine his lean physique from all sides. "He has been thoroughly washed, evacuated rectally... as per your instructions... and he stands at the ready to fulfill your every desire." Yuefertiti ran her hand down the center of his torso and trailed her fingers around his six-pack abdominal muscles._

"_Oeu maeh Gaehd," said Yuefertiti. "Seu... teutalleh pretteh. What is your name, slave?"_

"_Springfield, master," said the slave._

"_And your first name?" asked Yuefertiti._

"_Negi, master," said the slave._

"_Negi? Really? Well then, Negi, I trust you won't mind if I... hold the onions." Yuefertiti reached underneath Negi's loincloth and gently fondled his scrotum. "Ah, you're even shorn down here. Very nice. Eh? What the...?" Yuefertiti pulled off Negi's loincloth which drew squeals and gasps from the courtiers. She held and examined Negi's penis and looked very disappointed._

"_Sevensheep, would you care to explain this?" asked Yuefertiti, lifting Negi's shaft._

"_Eh? Oh, um, I... would not have guessed that an explanation would have been necessary, your eminence," said Emily._

"_Indulge me," said Yuefertiti sarcastically._

"_Ah. Very well, your eminence," said Emily as she cleared her throat. "This is a man's penis." Yuefertiti's eyes grew wider as Emily explained what she thought the empress wanted to know. "I'm saving myself for marriage but as I understand it, when you get it hard and wet, the man slides it in and out of your vajayjay until-"_

"_**I** **KNOW what a PENIS is**,** Sevensheep!**" barked Yuefertiti angrily. "Do you think I'm an idiot? I was referring to the fact that this slave's missing his foreskin."_

"_Oh, dude," said Kaede to Ku Fei, "you **know** about the problems **I've** been having with missing foreskins."_

"_Yeah, you've had some serious ass missing foreskin problems," said Ku Fei._

"_Ah. Y-Yes, that would seem to be the case," said Emily, peering at Negi's genitals. "What of it, your eminence?"_

"_Seras reassured me that she would provide the finest sex slave in exchange for 500 sacks of grain. I'm paying 100% of her price and she has sent me 99.98% of a sex slave. How do you plan to take responsibility for this?"_

"_You...** prefer** uncircumcised penises, your eminence?" asked Emily._

"_That isn't the point, Sevensheep," said Yuefertiti, "The point is that Seras either misrepresented or mutilated the merchandise and I don't take too kindly to being misled. However, being the magnanimous and forward thinking leader that I am, I have come up with a solution that will salvage our long and fruitful business relationship." Yuefertiti scaled the steps to the dais and sat upon her throne. "Natsumi, I want you to visit the royal silos. Collect 1,000 sacks of grain and bring them to Seras in exchange for the merchandise."_

"_At once, your eminence," said Natsumi._

"_And don't forget to bring back a receipt or accounting will have a dung fit," said Yuefertiti._

"_I shan't, your eminence," said Natsumi. Emily watched as the red haired girl ran out of the palace - presumably to the camel stables to organize a caravan - and then returned her attention to Yuefertiti._

"_Y-Your eminence," said Emily, "I am confused by this solution of yours."_

"_Ohhhhhh? And why is that?" asked Yuefertiti._

"_Because I fail to see how it works out to your benefit." Yuefertiti grinned as she imagined the cogs in Emily's mind turning slowly and gaining speed. "You say that you are unhappy with the merchandise and yet your servant is bringing my master Seras 1,000 sacks of grain." Yuefertiti rested her elbows on her lap and her jaw upon her palms to get a closer look at Emily's face when she figured it out. "That's twice the expected payment." Yuefertiti smiled a wide, creepy and toothy smile. "With that much grain, one could purchase... two... sex... slaves... uh oh." Yuefertiti winked at Emily and mimed a kiss in her direction. Her eyes now a tiny pair of tear-accented circles, Emily gasped at the gesture and held her forearms against her chest while clasping her hands against the exposed area of her neck just above her armor's collar._

"_You know, I'm no detective," said Yuefertiti, "but I do believe that you now comprehend the genius that is my solution." Sheets of tears poured down Emily's face as Ku Fei and Kaede stood on either side of her and both opened one eye with a grin. Kaede quickly grabbed Emily from behind and held her in place while Ku Fei began to remove the armor's breastplate._

"_KYAAAAA!" Emily struggled and resisted her disrobing which prompted Ku Fei and Kaede to wrestle her to the ground. A shriek followed each new area of tan skin exposed as the pile of leather armor on the floor grew larger. As the scuffle continued, the three girls would occasionally approach the edge of the pool, only to roll back away from it which caused the courtier girls to place wagers as to whether or not they would fall in._

"_Am I the only one here who's turned on by watching this?" asked Yuefertiti. Courtier Chisame Hasegawa casually raised her hand which caused all eyes to fall on her as she was the only courtier to have confessed her arousal. She retracted the admission by pretending to have actually raised her hand with the intention of holding it against her now very red cheek._

_Despite her best efforts, Emily could not fend off both girls working in unison and she soon found herself stripped naked. Ku Fei ran off with the pile of armor while Kaede prevented Emily from chasing after her coworker. She swung a wild punch at Kaede but the koga ninja was far too fast for her and she dodged the blow with ease. Kaede lifted Emily overhead and tossed her to her previous spot at the foot of the stairs. Landing on her feet, Emily covered her breasts with her left arm and her crotch with the right. As improperly as she had been treated, Emily needed to find a diplomatic method out of this predicament so as to keep Yuefertiti on as a client of her employer._

"_There must be some kind of mistake, your eminence," said Emily. "I am a free woman."_

"_You're free?" asked Yue._

"_Ah! Yes! That's right, your eminence," replied Emily, happy to see that Yuefertiti was still amenable to reason._

"_**And you didn't say anything before I sent Murakami off with an extra 500 sacks of grain for Seras as payment for you?**" yelled Yuefertiti. "I should pinch the fuck out of you for that."_

"_No, I didn't mean free that way!" said Emily. "This is human trafficking! Sexual exploitation!"_

"_Is it now?" asked Yuefertiti. "Seeing as how the human trafficking industry is **your** bread and butter and not mine, I'm inclined to take your word for it. And what right do you, of all people, have to cry foul over sexual exploitation? You were perfectly fine with bringing me Negi. Was his freedom any less important to him than yours is to you? It must be a harrowing experience to suddenly discover that your moral compass is actually a sundial, my dear Miss Sevensheep."_

" _You... You can't do this to me, your eminence!" spat Emily._

"_So you would repudiate my autocracy?" asked Yuefertiti._

_Emily's mouth opened as if she was about to answer the question but she suddenly checked herself. Her facial expression led Yuefertiti to believe that she was befuddled._

"_Uhhhhh... Ieeee... **think** ... so?" Yuefertiti performed a pratfall which launched her off her throne._

"_Seriously?" asked Yuefertiti. "You couldn't infer what 'repudiate' meant within the context of my sentence? Never mind. I didn't buy you for your vocabulary." Yuefertiti returned to her throne and sat in it. "Tend to me now, Seven... Emily. I want a vowel with you; several of them." Without the slightest hint of shame, Yuefertiti spread her legs and propped her left foot up on the seat of her throne, exposing herself to the court. "You too, Negi; this pussy isn't going to eat it**self**." Negi ascended the steps to Yuefertiti's throne, knelt on the dais before her, placed his head between her legs and began to pleasure her orally. Yuefertiti smiled as she bit her lower lip and ran her fingers through Negi's hair._

"_Your eminence, I am no one's sex slave!" declared Emily. "What's more is that I don't do **that** sort of thing with girls anyway."_

"_Emily, Emily, Emily," said Yuefertiti, "The Nile is not just refusal to admit the truth of a statement or charge."_

"_I see what she did there," muttered Chisame to herself._

_Yuefertiti reached into a compartment in her throne's armrest and produced a scroll which she then opened._

"_According to a reliable source, on the morning following your 16th birthday party, you and your friend Beatrix Munroe were reportedly found na-"_

"_O-**kaaay**, so there was that **one** time in the drawing room!" admitted Emily. "But Bea and I were-"_

_Yuefertiti took a small slice of watermelon from Yuuna's platter and flung it high over Emily's head across the throne room where it landed in the pool. Emily looked at Yuefertiti with confusion._

"_What; I'm feeding my fish," said Yuefertiti. "They love it. Continue."_

"_Bea and I were plastered on my father's wine the night before." Emily closed her eyes and indignantly held up an index finger. "That wasn't yuri; that was debauchery. There's a difference... and you can't force me to do anything even remotely yuri-esque to you!" Uninterested in Emily's protests, Yuefertiti snapped her fingers to summon a special guest to the throne room. "I demand that you set me free at once, your eminence! If you do not, I can assure you that both Seras and my family will take my abduction as a great insult. Not even the rich and powerful Yuefertiti of Ayasegypt would endeavor to incur the wrath of Ariadne's famed military forces for they would tear this country apart stone by stone until they have rescued me from this palace and punished you severely for your unforgivable insolence!"_

"_Stop it!" cried Yue insincerely. "You're scaring me! Boohoohoohoohoo! Courtiers! Be scared with me!"_

"_Boohoohoohoohoo!" cried the courtiers as they rubbed their eyes._

_The soft sound of footsteps from bare feet escaped Emily's notice and they stopped once the one producing these footsteps stood right behind the oblivious slave broker._

"_Spare me your recalcitrant drivel, Emily. Who said anything about abducting anyone?" asked Yuefertiti. "You're free to go. The doors to the palace are open. No one under my employ will forcibly detain you... but I happen to know that, despite these conditions, you won't be leaving this palace."_

"_Excuse me?" asked Emily._

"_You heard me," said Yuefertiti. "You're going to stay here and make the switch from ivy league to bush league of your own free will. Furthermore, my royal messenger will deliver your personal handwritten scroll of resignation to Seras so as to account for your disappearance... as well as a scroll to your parents telling them that you've emancipated yourself from their parental supervision."_

"_Not bloody likely, your... KH!" Emily stood motionless as she detected the presence of something frightfully familiar. Her heart began to race and she shivered from head to toe with an intensity seldom seen in the presence of the desert heat. "No... it can't be."_

"_It might surprise you to learn this but I didn't become empress by sitting on my cute little royal ass and drinking juice all day," said Yuefertiti. "Granted, it's what I do all day **now** but it's not how I earned this throne. I became empress by...? Who knows this one? Anyone?" Many of the courtiers enthusiastically raised their hands, whooping and squealing as if they were a classroom full of eight year olds. Yuefertiti held a finger out and surveyed the crowd to see which courtier she hadn't called on in a while. "Satomi Hakase." Yuefertiti pointed at Satomi and placed her hands in her lap._

"_Awwwww," said all non-Satomi courtiers as they lowered their hands in disappointment._

"_The answer is 'by making your allies wary and your enemies dead', your eminence," said Satomi._

_Yuefertiti closed her eyes, gave a long drawn out sigh and hung her head. She massaged the bridge of her nose with her right hand and drummed the fingers of her left hand on the armrest. Unable to account for Yuefertiti's reaction to the answer she had provided, Satomi began to panic and perspire. The other courtiers took a few steps away from Satomi just in case. Once the sound of their sandals shuffling had subsided, the throne room had fallen silent. Had Satomi hastened the end of her career as a servant of science?_

"_YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! HA HA HA HA HA!" shouted Yuefertiti. She sat up with a smile and folded her arms across her chest. "I was just messing with you, dear." Satomi fainted and hit the back of her head against Chachamaru who was trying to catch her. The impact was especially brutal since Chachamaru's outer shell was made entirely out of bronze._

"_Satomi is correct. I became empress by making my allies wary and my enemies dead. I accomplished both of those goals with this." Yuefertiti tapped her temple twice with her index finger. "I learn everything I can about families of influence. If I learn something particularly juicy and an opportunity presents itself, I go for the kill right away. If the time isn't right, I tuck away the tidbits I've learned for later use. Imagine my surprise when a messenger from Seras informed me that Emily Sevensheep, her Chief Slave Broker in training, would be the one delivering my slave. So I checked my dirt files, found the tidbit and set a plan into motion; a plan that would allow me to net you as if I were skimming a dead nishikigoi from the surface of my pool."_

"_Why... would you do such a thing?" asked Emily. She sank to her knees and placed her palms on the polished marble floor._

"_Because they stink if you leave them floating there," said Yuefertiti. "Have you ever smelled a decaying nishikigoi? Hoofah! Not exactly top selling scented candle material."_

"_I meant that I want to know why you would do such a thing to **me**," said Emily._

"_It's nothing personal," said Yuefertiti. "You see, bartering for things is something that a person with my vast resources can do any time but it's something that any person of means can do so there's no thrill in it for me. But conquering through extortion... acquiring via cajolery... subjugating those who might one day oppose me... that is my raison d'être and no one can pull that off as well as I can. For all of my wealth, I am as rapacious as a petty thief and exploiting the weaknesses of others gets my rocks off every bit as much as Negi's tongue will in a few more minutes. Mmmmm. Did Seras train him in cunnilingus? Because I've got to tell you; he's really good at it."_

_It was dreadful. It was the bane of her existence. It was a darkness against which she had no hope of winning and a cancer which had threatened to destroy the good Sevensheep name._

_And it was less than two meters away._

_Her family had this nemesis officially banned from ever entering the borders of Ariadne under penalty of death and it had to show itself here at this pivotal moment when she needed her strength. This rogue had captured her heart once upon a time. Theirs was a forbidden love and it was deemed an unhealthy relationship. She hoped never to lay eyes upon this enigmatic adversary again and yet a part of her wanted to cross paths with it once more to test her mettle; just not now. Her teardrops fell to the floor as she slowly got to her feet and, closing her eyes, turned to face her eternal enemy. There was no point in fooling herself; the pride of the Sevensheep family had been defeated with a single crushing blow before she even knew that war had been declared. Emily opened her eyelids slowly to savor her last few moments of free will._

_It was just as she had feared._

_Before her stood Satsuki Yotsuba, dressed in a schenti, an apron and a baker's hat. She smiled sweetly and held a platter holding a dozen sweet scented blood red cupcakes topped with a white frosting._

"_Sorry about this, Sevensheep-sama," said Satsuki softly, "but a girl has to earn a living."_

"_Are those... r-r-red v-v-velvet c-c-cupcakes, your eminence?" asked Emily. She did not turn her head to address Yuefertiti. Her eyes were fixed on the cupcakes._

"_Mmmmmayyyyyybe," said Yuefertiti with a sly grin._

"_W-W-With... c-c-c-c-cream ch-ch-ch-cheese f-f-frosting?" asked Emily._

"_No baker worth their salt would top one with anything less," sang Yuefertiti. "Yes, Emily. Those **are** Satsuki's red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting – a garden variety treat in my land but contraband in yours. Being the naturally inquisitive person that I am, I wondered why, of all things, a particular kind of **cupcake** was neither baked within nor imported into the borders of Ariadne. So I sent my intelligence gatherers to your country and they informed me that the ban was due to an injunction lobbied for by the Sevensheep family because their youngest child Emily had developed an embarrassing and rather unhealthy addiction to them. It was said that at your heaviest you weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of ninety kilos. I don't care **who** you are; **that** is a pretty big fucking neighborhood. You didn't leave Sevensheep Manor for over seven months, most likely from exercising and rehabilitating until you returned to a weight befitting a girl of your noble lineage. However! You were never fully cured of your addiction; you were only able to keep it together because there weren't any red velvet cupcakes around to be had. You developed something else in addition to better eating habits: acting skills. You fooled your parents and everyone else in Sevensheep Manor into thinking that you were well... and you've done well for yourself so far... but I've come to the conclusion that you still secretly pine for your Achilles' heel. Just a bite from one of these magnificent bastards would be all you'd need to relapse. Isn't that true?"_

"_IT IS NOT!" cried Emily, weeping at the recounting of the tale of her shameful fall from personal fitness. She truly had a staggering amount of willpower to do anything else required of her **except** the ability to say no to these sinful little angel turds. Did this make her a bad person?_

"_Uhhhh-huh," said a smarmy Yuefertiti who was not fooled in the least. "At the apex of your addiction, you learned of a new local bakery that boasted the finest red velvet cupcake around baked by child prodigy Satsuki Yotsuba. In addition to her other culinary accolades, Satsuki was on the path to becoming a world renowned pâtissier... I'm pretty sure you know what **that** word means. As a connoisseur of all things red and velvety, you owed it to yourself to have the best of the best and so you secretly placed an order for two dozen. Unfortunately, the strict diet and exercise mandate issued by your parents came only two hours prior to the arrival of your order of Satsuki's red velvet cupcakes. Two stinking hours! That **had** to suck. Oh, the injustice of it all! You must have thought to yourself 'Couldn't they have waited just one hundred and twenty minutes before sentencing me to a life of self denial?'. Tell me, what did your parents do with Satsuki's cupcakes when the courier arrived with them?"_

"_They... threw them in... the... trashcan," blubbered Emily. Her breasts jiggled as her sobs rocked her entire body._

"_They threw them in the trashcan," said Yuefertiti, "AND AS ADDED PUNISHMENT, THEY MADE YOU WATCH! ISN'T THAT TRUE?"_

"_HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS, DAMN YOU?" shouted Emily._

"_I told you; I make it my business to know such things," said Yuefertiti. "Your parents could just as easily have given those cupcakes to one of their servants or had them discarded out of sight but they made you watch as they threw perfectly good food - which you bartered for with your own goods - into the filthy trashcan... one cupcake after another... adding insult to inhumanity. A while back, I petitioned Satsuki to come work for me as my exclusive personal chef. My offer was extremely generous and she was only too happy to accept it. The news of her closing up her pâtisserie business must have been quite a personal blow to you. Her creations haven't been tasted outside of this palace for some time now. She bakes two dozen cupcakes in the royal kitchen every afternoon. This particular batch has only been out of the oven long enough to where the frosting may be applied and they can be set to cool. How long is that, Satsuki? About ten minutes?"_

"_About that long, your eminence," said Satsuki._

"_A ten minute old cupcake," said Yuefertiti with a sustained series of nods. "By Aten-Ra, it doesn't get any more epic than that and I ought to know. Your parents may not have let you eat one of these darlings but I've had plenty of them and if I may embarrass her by saying this in her presence, Satsuki's cupcakes defy description. Stick one under her nose, would you, Satsuki?" Satsuki nodded and waved one of the cupcakes under Emily's nose. Emily sniffed at the divine cupcake and her head turned left and right to match Satsuki's directional shifts. "As empress of Ayasegypt, I have the resources to ensure that Satsuki always has the freshest ingredients at her disposal. Buttermilk. Butter. Flour. Sugar. Milk. Cream cheese. Vanilla Extract. Cocoa. Eggs. You name it, she's got more than she needs of it. Satsuki, your former distributors couldn't provide you with ingredients as fresh as those found here in the palace kitchen, isn't that right?"_

"_That's right, your eminence," said Satsuki, placing the cupcake back on her tray. "Before I worked for you, I was under the impression that I was already buying the best of the best. Now I know that I was in error."_

"_Would it be accurate to say that the cupcakes you've got on that platter right now are actually **better** than the ones Emily would have eaten had she been permitted to do so?" asked Yuefertiti._

"_Oh, **much** better, your eminence," said Satsuki. "In my experience, ingredient quality can make or break you. If that quality is compromised, the finest recipe on earth will only be mediocre."_

"_Would you say that these are at least twice as good as the trashed batch?" asked Yuefertiti._

"_More like six or seven times better, your eminence," said Satsuki._

_Emily's eyes widened to the size of saucers at the bold statement of Satsuki's. Could such an exponentially higher quality cupcake actually exist?_

"_Six or seven times!" exclaimed Yuefertiti. "So, in your own words which I'm giving to you, you're saying that by being denied the first batch, Emily didn't miss out on much."_

"_Not like she would be if she passed on having one of these, your eminence."_

"_Would you be willing to put that in writing?" asked Yuefertiti._

"_Just point me toward a quill and some papyrus, your eminence," said Satsuki._

"_Ha ha, that won't be necessary, Satsuki," said Yuefertiti cheerfully._

"_I must... fight... the temptation," whimpered Emily. With teary button eyes and a waterfall of drool pouring forth from her mouth, Emily folded her trembling hands behind her back to keep herself from grabbing a muffin. Leaning toward Satsuki against her will, Emily's jaws snapped at Satsuki's tray to take a bite out of one of the cupcakes._

"_Yes, that's it," said Yuefertiti. "Your words say no but the mouth which forms those words says yes. I love a girl who is honest with herself; moreso if she's butt nekkid. Go on. You want them. You deserve them. But know that by accepting so much as a crumb from that tray, you acknowledge that you are my property from here on out; not that you'd follow any other course of action anyway. I'm certain that if you have just a single bite, you'll never leave this palace again. You'll want a steady supply... and I just so happened to have cornered the market."_

"_My family..." lamented Emily. "My freedom... my figure..." Emily nasally inhaled so deeply that her nostrils shut. "MY GOD, THAT SMELL IS AMAZING!"_

"_They taste amazing, too," noted Yuefertiti. "The frosting is what makes them, in my opinion. Two dozen daily, Emily. That's twenty four tickets to paradise. If you're a cat napper, you could theoretically have one cupcake every hour every day - free of charge, I might add - for as long as you live in my palace. Go ahead and take one. Take them all. They're yours. They always have been. Eat and become one of us. I'd give one to Negi here but his mouth is otherwise engaged." Emily looked at Negi kneeling before Yuefertiti and she shuddered at the thought of sharing his fate. Was this the path she would permit her future to take? Was she willing to let the Sevensheep name be lost to time? Was the faith her parents had in her to become a woman of substance misplaced? Mustering up every last bit of her strength, Emily confidently approached Yuefertiti. Kaede and Ku Fei raised their weapons to defend their empress but Yuefertiti waved them off. "Let her pass. Would you like to make a statement before my court, Emily?"_

"_I would," said Emily. "I am a Sevensheep, your eminence. And, like my ancestors before me, I possess a will of iron. They smile upon me proudly this day for I will neither bend nor break in the face of adversity. While I am ashamed to admit that your scheme has tested me as I have never been tested before, I am proud to say that I possess the willpower to refuse your offer. I choose freedom over servitude because in spite of what you may believe, I know that I was meant for greater things. If our business here is concluded, then I should like to be on my way."_

_At the conclusion of Emily's inspirational monologue, the courtiers were struck speechless. Having never possessed courage themselves, they were enthralled at the sight of someone standing up to Yuefertiti._

"_I have the weirdest boner right now," said Negi, earning himself a slap on the head by Yuefertiti for both speaking out of turn and for shirking his duties._

"_Well, shoot," said Yuefertiti, "I'm sorry to hear that. I could have sworn that I had you all figured out. Guess I underestimated your resolve. No hard feelings, right? As I said, you're free to go. When you return to Seras, please have her return the extra 500 sacks of grain to me. You can tell her it was a clerical error on my part. As thanks for dropping Negi off for me, I'll have Satsuki give you a bushel of dry and unappetizing low calorie rice cakes. Mmmm. Ku Fei... Kaede... please escort our guest to the palace doors and then help her get dressed. Once she goes through that door, she is never to set foot in the palace again. She's going back home with her head held high as a free woman and I have no use for people that I cannot control."_

_Kaede placed her hand on Emily's bare shoulder and walked her along the side of the pool, traveling the length of it toward the exit. Ku Fei followed with Emily's armor in her arms. As Emily dried her tears, she began to grasp that she had done what she believed she could not do. Her parents would be so proud to hear of this victory that they would most likely hold a celebration in her honor. There would be music, merriment, and a banquet with every kind of delicacy - except for the one her parents had forbidden her to have. Once she left this palace, there would never be another Satsuki Yotsuba red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting for her to eat._

"_Will you be having some cupcakes today, your eminence?" asked Satsuki._

"_What? No!" said Yuefertiti. "Can't you see I'm getting eaten out here?"_

"_My apologies, your eminence," said Satsuki. "Shall I place them in the royal pantry?"_

"_No need; just throw them in this trashcan at the foot of the steps here! One by one, if you would be so kind!" said Yuefertiti with a raised voice, ensuring that she could be heard even from the far end of the pool._

_Emily stopped walking. Her ears perked up and her eyes went blank._

"_At once, your eminence," said Satsuki._

_Emily turned around to see that the pâtissier was indeed prepared to throw out her pristine baked goods as per Yuefertiti's wishes. Emily's hands began to tremble and, slowly, they balled into tightly clenched fists as she remembered her most traumatic day with disturbing clarity. She remembered begging her parents not to throw her special cupcakes into the dirty filthy trashcan. She remembered the rage and resentment she felt toward them when they made her watch. She also remembered her father's unbreakable grip of granite holding her in place while her mother spouted off poppycock about this solution being for her own good._

"_No," muttered Emily with a lump in her throat. "Please, Mother... Please, Father... They're mine. Please don't take them away from me." Her muttering grew louder and tears ran down her face one after another._

"_To whom are you speaking, Sevensheep-dono?" asked Kaede._

"_Just let me have one last cupcake, mother," said Emily in a squeaky high pitch, "and I swear that I'll never eat another one again! I'll work hard at being thin and pretty like you want me to be, I promise!" Kaede was creeped out by Emily's babbling and she released the foreigner's shoulder as she took a few steps away from her. "At least let me have a bite of one, mother! Please? Please don't, mother! Father, let me go! Don't throw them out! PLEASE! DON'T! **NOOOOO!**" Emily's mind returned to the present day and she knew that she would never forgive herself if she were to allow the same sacrilegious fate to befall a second batch of cupcakes. Drops of blood hit the floor as her fingernails dug into her palms. "**NOT THIS TIME!**! **NOT AGAAAAAIN!**"_

_Everyone in the throne room was startled by a flash of light, followed by a thunderous clap and the sound of disturbed pool water falling back into the pool. A startled Satsuki screamed in fright as she dropped a tray of smoldering empty cupcake liners while shredded pieces of fabric and leather which used to be Emily's family armor fell through Ku Fei's fingers. The two guardswomen looked at each other, nonplussed by the magic spell which Emily had used. The nude slave broker had dashed across the surface of the pool water, shredded her clothing and stuffed all twelve red velvet cupcakes into her mouth - all within the span of a second. Emily panted through her nostrils since her swollen hamsterlike cheeks were filled with rescued and soon to be swallowed cupcake mush. As she feverishly chewed her long overdue treat, she was overwhelmed with an immense sense of vindication. The tears of bliss she shed ran around the bits of cream cheese frosting covering her lips and chin. Swallowing the final bit, Emily's eyes glowed with the fire of a young woman with a renewed sense of self. The truth was right there in front of her all along and she was embarrassed for not having seen it earlier._

_She didn't want her family's manor, her heritage, her reputation or even her job._

_She. Wanted. Cupcakes._

_And there was nothing wrong with that. All she had to do in order to get them was to give up the shackles placed upon her by her parents that she was told were so important to wear. The choice was clear and she made it because **she** wanted to make it._

"_Why, look who's here! It's Emily!" declared Yuefertiti with mock surprise. "Fancy seeing you back so soon! I was under the impression that you were eager to return to your homeland."_

_Despite the best efforts of her parents, hypnotists, child psychiatrists, dieticians, motivational speakers and personal trainers of Ariadne, the cupcake-fueled demoness of Sevensheep Manor had returned with a vengeance._

"_I'm not going anywhere... Master," growled Emily happily._

"_Would you like to make a statement before my court stating **why** you're not going anywhere, Emily Sevensheep, formerly of Ariadne?" The beast girl turned around to face the courtiers who were utterly enthralled by the captivating drama playing out before them._

"_I'm not going anywhere because..." She took a deep breath and reared her head back so that both the courtiers and her vaunted ancestors could hear her next words from up above. "**I AM YUEFERTITI'S SEX SLAAAAVE!**" The words of Emily's newest title echoed throughout the throne room as the courtiers applauded. "Master, please summon one of your servants to bring me a quill, some ink and two scrolls. I do my best writing by the light of the sun." Emily smiled as she ascended the steps to the dais. She was no longer bashful about her nudity; her new master had already seen **through** her. There was nothing Emily had left to show her master except her gratitude and a few skills that Bea had taught her while under the influence._

"_There'll be plenty of time for that later," said Yuefertiti. "First, let's pretend I'm a cupcake. Eat me." Yuefertiti pushed Negi aside with her foot. Emily stepped up to the throne and knelt before Yuefertiti. Using her finger, Emily scraped the cream cheese frosting off of her face and applied it to Yuefertiti's labia minora before licking and sucking them with vigor and adulation. Closing her eyes, Yuefertiti gasped and moaned at this rough treatment when compared to the slow and steady pace which Negi was using earlier. She saw that Negi was now standing beside her throne and sporting an inviting erection. Spitting into her right palm, Yuefertiti reached over and began to stroke Negi's turgid shaft rapidly. She pointed it toward her face so that, when he reached his limit, she might sample the cream cheese frosting of her **own** red velvet cupcake. Looking down at her newest acquisition, Yuefertiti smiled and pulled the ribbons from Emily's ponytails so that she could run her fingers freely through Emily's shiny golden locks._

"_Welcome to the herd, Sunny Honey," muttered Yuefertiti in a state of euphoria. A graphic of a tongue licking a clitoris magically appeared alongside both of Emily's buttocks._

_Negi's shaft grew hotter and harder from Yue's fervent stroking until-_

"_GREUAAAAAUGH!"_

* * *

><p>Yue stopped rubbing herself, drew her legs closed and lifted her feet off the floor. Some sick girl had charged into the restroom and was puking into the toilet of one of the other stalls. Yue was so close to her orgasm that she didn't want to stop now. She tried to block out the sound and pick up where she left off but every time Yue resumed the rubbing, the puking also resumed; the sound of which made Yue cringe. It got to the point where her genitalia had practically become a puke sound effect button. Facepalming with her left hand, Yue saw little point in going any further since the mood was now ruined. She produced a pair of pre-moistened cleansing cloth wipe from her bookbag, wiped her genitals and hands dry with them, put her underwear back on and flushed the wipe down the toilet. At the same time, the sick girl flushed her own toilet. Yue left the stall and had almost passed the restroom doorway's threshold when she heard the girl from the other stall crying softly. Yue stopped walking and slowly turned around to look at the stall.<p>

_Could the sick girl in the stall be Setsuna?_ Yue wondered.

The sound of cloth being torn followed by whimpering came from behind the closed door and Yue believed that it had to be Setsuna. The time frame was certainly close enough for her theory to be viable. Yue placed her hand on the side of the restroom doorway and wondered what would cause Setsuna to tear her clothes. The toilet flushed several times in succession as the tearing continued. From what she could gather, Yue guessed that Setsuna was tearing her clothing to bits and flushing them down the toilet but Yue didn't have a clue as to what could have taken place in Konoka's dorm that would have prompted such a bizarre course of action.

There was a moment of silence, a fidgeting of some sort which brought about some more tearing and a splash from something thrown into the bowl. Yue walked cautiously toward the occupied stall with her left hand pressed against her chest and her right hand across the left. She heard Setsuna sob so deeply that Yue felt her own eyes begin to well up with tears of sympathy. If she didn't know better, she would have thought Setsuna had found Konoka dead. She had some idea of how much Setsuna loved Konoka but nothing could have illustrated it any better than this outpouring of grief from having lost Konoka to someone else. As the sobs grew louder, the sympathy pains in Yue's heart grew stronger. A key player in Ala Alba, a mighty Shinmei swordswoman; honorable, trustworthy and loyal - laid low by heartbreak. She failed to see how Konoka could have passed on Setsuna in favor of Haruna. Yue had no one special who felt so strongly about her that they would grieve this passionately if she were to declare her love for someone else. Even Negi, bless his larger-than-life heart, didn't see her as anything other than a good friend.

Yue saw no excuse for simply standing around and letting Setsuna cry. While she may not have been Konoka, Yue wanted Setsuna to know that at least one person gave a damn about her suffering. She gently pushed the door open and entered the stall. Several pieces of what appeared to be red lingerie were sitting in the toilet. Setsuna was nude and lying on the floor on her left side while covering her face. Looking at her in such a vulnerable state, it occurred to Yue that there would be no better opportunity for her to use the secret weapon in her bookbag yet she could not bring herself to do so. Kicking someone while they were down was not her way and Setsuna didn't appear to be very dangerous at the moment. Yue crouched beside Setsuna and gently poked her right elbow.

"Setsuna-san," said Yue softly.

Setsuna slowly uncovered her face which was marred with tears, mascara and dried blood. She looked up to see who was in the stall with her.

"Y...Yue-san?" asked Setsuna.

Yue placed her hands underneath Setsuna's left shoulder, lifting her upper body from the floor and sitting her upright. Setsuna's bloodshot eyes darted all around Yue, incredulous that her fellow ministra was actually here. Yue reached into her bookbag, removed a wipe from the packet and began to clean Setsuna's face. As Setsuna trembled and sniffled during her makeover, she wondered why Yue was going out of her way to do this for her. She was glad of one thing: Yue was not trying to badger her into answering hundreds of questions as Asuna might do. Setsuna reasoned that Yue had most likely been informed of the unnatural pairing of Konoka and Haruna and simply felt sorry for her... but how could Yue have known where to find her?

Placing her hands under Setsuna's armpits, Yue slowly helped her to her feet with mixed results. After a bit of wobbling, Setsuna was finally able to stand unassisted, trembling from the temperature of the air conditioned restroom as well as her steadfast yet greatly reduced sobbing. Feeling slightly self-conscious about her nudity in relation to her proximity to Yue, she nonchalantly covered herself with her arms. She cast her eyes downward and while she felt as if she should say something, her mouth and vocal chords weren't responding. Also, she had vomited earlier so her breath wasn't exactly minty fresh just now. Reaching into her vest pocket, Yue removed her pactio card and activated her artifact which resulted in her registered outfit appearing. Removing her robe, she put it on Setsuna and fastened it shut. Yue then removed her witch's hat and put it on Setsuna's head, finding that it looked better on Setsuna than it did on her. She playfully tugged the brim down over the Shinmei warrior's eyes in the hope that the silliness of the gesture would cheer Setsuna up.

Pulling the hat back up off her eyes, Setsuna blinked and stared at Yue in disbelief. She had gone from having nothing and no one to being clothed and having a friend. Setsuna's mouth opened and closed, unable to speak the words to convey her gratitude. She pressed her lips together to keep them from quivering. Air raced in and out of her nostrils rapidly and her scrunched up eyes squeezed tears which ran down her pink face. Without warning, Setsuna wrapped her arms tightly around her benefactress and began to bawl once more.

"_YUE-SAAAAAN! WAAAAAAAHAAAAAH!_"

Yue hugged Setsuna in return and reassuringly smoothed her palm along her back.

"Shhhhh. Don't worry, Setsuna-san," said Yue softly. "It'll be all right. I'm here for you."

For Setsuna, the small miracle that she held in her arms was a confirmation that the world had not turned its back on her as she had thought and that was enough to plant the seeds of her healing process. For Yue, helping Setsuna turned out to be a fulfilling personal experience and it helped her to forget about her own loneliness. For both girls, they were ports in a storm unto one another; a storm in which they felt disrespected and/or unappreciated by those they had called their close friends.

It was the two of them against the world. Both Yue and Setsuna may have admitted to liking those odds.

(Please forgive/overlook any historical inaccuracies in Yue's fantasy. It's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek humor so half the fun is inserting modern day references. I only take credit for the word "magisterbate" if no one else has because I find it difficult to believe that I could be the first person to have thought it up. At the time that I wrote it, the almighty Google search engine turned up ONE result for magisterbate and that hit wasn't even Negima! related so I may have been the first person to submit it online. I will only take credit for the Norway and pharaoh moans jokes if you liked them. Also, I don't know if nishikigoi can survive in desert heat, even if properly tended within an indoor pond. Let's just say that Yuefertiti's fish are specifically bred for harsher temperatures and leave it at that. The "Oh My God, So Totally Pretty" line, including the specialized pronunciation, was a direct lift/reference from Late Night Liars canine star Cashmere Ramada and her "Dolphine" perfume commercial.)


	10. Forehead and Away

Haruna casually stepped out of Konoka's bathroom and carefully slid the door closed behind her without turning around. With her arms behind her back, she ran her fingertips along the groove where the door came in contact with the wall. She was wearing a full length white bathrobe and a salmon pink towel was wrapped around her freshly washed jet black tresses. Having used Konoka's tub, Haruna discovered that Konoka's herbal shampoo was one of the secret components of Konoka's perpetual pleasant smell and, in light of recent events, she silently prayed that Konoka would give her the opportunity to make further such discoveries about her during future visits.

Now that Haruna had left behind the bliss of the tub's hot water, the chill which ran up her spine brought about from the notion that Konoka was mulling over the decision to call off their relationship and rekindle her damaged friendship with Setsuna had resurfaced. The thought of Konoka saying that they were through made Haruna's heart ache. Ever since Haruna was old enough to understand the concept of a loving relationship, she had hoped to find her own special someone some day. Romance was almost always a tricky business in the various shojo manga that she had read growing up and now that she had found her special someone in Konoka, life was beginning to imitate art big time. If begging was required to stay with Konoka, Haruna would do so without a second thought. She was no stranger to the tactic as she had employed it many times before in order to receive extensions on her deadlines. _What I wouldn't give to be able to use Negi's Casseopeia for a do-over of this morning_, she thought.

Haruna picked up her eyeglasses, a pencil and a small yellow pad of sticky notes from the wooden side table next to the bathroom door. She put on her glasses and approached Konoka who was lying awake in bed. The bags under the chocolate-haired girl's eyes were puffy and glossy. She was still clad in her school uniform and as far as Haruna could tell, she hadn't moved a muscle since Haruna had placed there after she had stopped crying into her bosom. Haruna hated to see her beloved in pain but at the very least, the worst of it was surely over.

"All done," said Haruna softly as she scribbled something on the pad and peeled off the topmost note. "I drew you a bath." She showed Konoka the sticky note which featured a drawing of a bathtub. The corny pun brought a halfhearted upward curl to a corner of Konoka's mouth. "Seriously, though; I really did draw you a bath, Kono-chan. C'mon, the water's getting cold. Chop-chop." Not only was Konoka disinterested in a bath; she also lacked the motivation to inform Haruna of this verbally. Konoka did little more than avert her eyes and fidget in response to Haruna's request. "Don't you want to bathe, baby? You must have perspired an ocean earlier. I know _I_ sure as hell did."

Just as before, Konoka barely acknowledged that Haruna was in the room and continued staring into space. Haruna narrowed her eyes at her borderline disobedient girlfriend. Having just had a bath herself, she knew that it would be just the thing to refresh Konoka - even if Konoka knew no such thing. Haruna removed her glasses and set them down on the nightstand while making a mental note of where she had placed them.

"And now, a brief message from Paru-sama," said Haruna. Refusing to take no answer at all for an answer, she slid her arms underneath Konoka's back and legs, lifted her and carried her to the bathroom. Rather than allow her arms to dangle as though she was unconscious, Konoka held onto Haruna and looked into the taller girl's eyes as the manga-ka began to recite a monologue with all the radiance and inflection of an obnoxious infomercial host.

"Hi, folks," began Haruna. "I'm The Great Paru-sama. How many times has this happened to you? You have an angel sent from heaven above that makes your life a dream come true but wouldn't you know it: you find out that she **doesn't like to bathe!** Weeks go by and you pray to Kami-sama that she comes to her senses but no amount of shrine offerings will get that smell of French onion soup, tuna and ass out of your bedsheets." Konoka emitted a single snicker as Haruna set Konoka down on her feet. To Haruna, the snicker was the equivalent of having unearthed a nugget of gold. "If this sounds like you, then the answer to your prayers is here! You need to call Paru-Sama's Angel Washing Service!" After closing and locking the bathroom door, Haruna began to remove Konoka's uniform and, one by one, placed the articles of clothing in the clothes hamper. "Our licensed and bonded employees are friendly, have years of experience and we guarantee that there isn't a single agnostic or atheist in the bunch! How can you wash what you don't believe exists, right? If you're a first time customer, are you ever in luck! You'll only be charged the low introductory rate of 5,000 yen! We'll come to your house and clean your angel so thoroughly that she'll actually be _ahead_ of godliness and not just next to it. And if you're not completely satisfied, we have a 100% money back guarantee. How's that for a bargain?" Once Konoka was nude, Haruna pointed to the tub to indicate that she was to step into the water and be seated which Konoka did after pinning up her hair. Haruna then removed her own robe along with the towel around her head, tied her hair up in a knot, stepped into the tub and sat in the water behind Konoka. "But wait... there's more! Call within the next 30 minutes and we'll give your angel a halo buffing at no additional charge! That's a savings of over 1,500 yen! So don't let your angel stink to high heaven. Call Paru-sama's Angel Washing Service today! Operators are standing by. Paru-sama's Angel Washing Service: we make sure the only _pew_ you experience is at church."

Konoka shook her head slowly as she marveled at Haruna's seemingly limitless creativity.

"I don't have 5,000 yen," said Konoka softly. Haruna smiled at the sound of Konoka's voice which, while lacking in volume, was her normal non-weepy tone.

"This one's on the house," said Haruna as she closed her eyes and grinned. "One of the benefits of being CEO." Haruna slid a loofah mitt onto her right hand, poured some of the body wash enriched water over Konoka's shoulders with her left hand and gently scrubbed her beloved's back with the mitt in a circular motion. "And how could _you_ not have 5,000 yen? Isn't your dad as wealthy as Iincho's?"

"I have a very conservative allowance despite my family's wealth," explained Konoka. Haruna was simply glad to get Konoka talking about anything else other than how miserable she was about losing her best friend.

"That sucks," said Haruna. "Doesn't that take the fun out of being from a wealthy family?"

"Let me tell you a little story about my family ," said Konoka.. "My parents and I traveled the world once when I was six. It wasn't the kind of luxurious trip that you would imagine a wealthy family might take. My father made it a point to show me the less glorious parts of the countries we visited. With my own eyes, I witnessed poverty, hunger, disease, hopelessness and desperation. I was kept out of harm's way but it was still pretty scary. I couldn't believe that actual human beings were living under such horrible conditions. My father told me that while he made many charitable donations to organizations designed to help people in need, there would always be more people in need of help than there were people able to offer help. When we returned to Japan, I was relieved to be back home but I couldn't shake the guilt of being able to leave those places and people behind; the guilt of being lucky enough to be born to a family that had more than others and took care of me. Looking back on it, I'm glad that my father took me on the trip because it gave me a better understanding of my place in the world and what I can do with what I've been lucky enough to receive; both financially and magically. It was as if Kami-sama said 'Konoka, I gave you a good life to put you in a position to help those who cannot help themselves.' When Eva-chin told me that I had the raw materials to be a Magister Magi if I chose to study magic, that vacation came back to me and it influenced my decision."

"That's quite a story," said Haruna, "but it still doesn't explain why you have less than 5,000 yen. How was your conservative allowance decided?"

"I had a much larger one at first but when I was transferred to Mahora and I met Asuna, I peeked at one of her pay stubs from her paper route and told my father that that's what I'd live on. I asked him to donate the rest to charities that helped the needy." Haruna's eyes turned into a pair of black circles and her mouth hung open with disbelief

"You modeled your allowance... after a _paper delivery girl's earnings?_"

"Mm-hm. After necessities, I'm probably in the same boat pocket moneywise as the average girl in our class... but at least I know that someone out there in need is receiving food or medicine on a regular basis that they wouldn't have had otherwise."

"Wow," said Haruna. "You really _are_ an angel, Kono-chan. If I was your dad's daughter, I would have lobbied for as much as I could have gotten. My folks aren't poor but after buying the art supplies I need, I'm a little leaner in the pockets than I'd like to be. The money I make from Mahō Shōjo is my mad money."

"Speaking of angels," interrupted Konoka, "I noticed that you left out any mention of _wings_ in your infomercial."

Haruna stopped scrubbing Konoka's back for a moment. Her mouth narrowed as she caught Konoka's reference to Setsuna. There was an eerie tension in the air as Konoka waited silently for Haruna's response. Haruna closed her eyes partially and grinned nervously as she resumed the scrubbing.

"So... you want to talk about... that. Okay. I figured that you would." Haruna cleared her throat before sharing her thoughts on the subject with Konoka. "I know what happened earlier with Setsuna was hard for you, Kono-chan," said Haruna. "Knowing you as I do, I'd guess that it was probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do. I'm truly sorry for making that harder for you than it needed to be... and I don't expect your pain to go away by whispering a few sweet nothings into your ear... but I do appreciate that you did it for us and I'm honored." Haruna patted Konoka's left upper arm and Konoka held her arms out slightly so Haruna could scrub her armpits. "Now that you've had some time, how are you feeling about this?"

"I just... I feel like a toadstool," said Konoka. "A girl's first time... next to a first kiss, there's almost nothing else as special. I'm indirectly responsible for stealing Secchan's first time and she isn't going to forgive me. I can't blame her; I can't even forgive myself. I've destroyed her dignity and I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"Please don't beat yourself up over this, Kono-chan," said Haruna.

"You know," continued Konoka, "everything I've ever done in my life, I've done because it either made me feel happy or it helped people or made them happy. I wasn't surprised that I received Kochi no Hiógi and Hae no Suehiro when I made a pactio with Negi-kun. Not only have I never wanted to hurt anyone; I also have a sincere wish to heal those who are already hurting. Today, I broke... no, I _destroyed_ the heart of someone I called my best friend. I've asked myself repeatedly if I have the right to ease her pain and I keep coming up with the same answer: no. I used the honor she has for me to buy her silence in order to maintain my own happiness... and while she may have done as I asked, she may never be able to look me in the eye ever again. And you don't think that _that_ warrants beating myself up over this?" Konoka's lip quivered slightly and tears threatened to form in her eyes when she was overtaken by a wave of frustration. "I'm _**guilty**_ of something, Haruna!" Konoka swatted her hand across the surface of the bath water as she raised her voice, causing water to splash out of the tub. Haruna slowly retracted her hands from Konoka and placed them underwater. She was somewhat glad that she was looking at the back of Konoka's head because facing her would have been difficult. "I've done a bad thing because it suited me and I did it to my most treasured friend! I've never been guilty of _anything_ before! I might have swiped an extra cookie from the cookie jar at home when I was a kid but realistically, that was the only bad thing I've ever done! I'm a **good** girl! I'm supposed to be a _force_ for good! A magical heroic defender of what's right. For the first time in my life, I've done something bad and I'm not on the side of the angels anymore... in more ways than one... and now this guilt is festering in my heart. I don't know what to do."

Both girls sat quietly in the tub for a while. The atmosphere was thick with regret and Haruna's heart began to race as she feared that this speech was the vehicle for Konoka to break up with her. Costing her beloved the friendship of her most cherished companion may have been too heinous an act for Konoka to overlook. Rather than wait for the ax to fall, Haruna decided to take the initiative and opened her trembling mouth to ask Konoka if dumping her was indeed her intention. Her throat hurt as she drew in what might be the final breath she would take as Konoka's girlfriend.

"That was a bit of a lie," said Konoka who broke the silence before Haruna could. "I do know what I have to do. I don't want to do it but I think I have to. And the sooner I do it, the better." Haruna's wobbly circular eyes were budding with tears and her mouth was a zigzag of anxiety. How could she go on without Konoka's love? _This is it_, she thought. _She's going to kick me to the curb! _Haruna closed her eyes as her only means of preparing herself when she knew that there was truly no way to do so.

"I need to accept that what's done is done and move forward," stated Konoka plainly.

Haruna opened her eyes widely and blinked twice. She wasn't out of the woods yet but at least this was not the farewell speech she believe it to be.

"Is something wrong?" asked Konoka. Haruna cleared her throat and wiped her tears away with her forearm before answering Konoka. Not wanting to miss a beat, she chose to go with the flow of the conversation.

"N-No, I... I guess I'm just surprised to hear that you've come to that conclusion so quickly. I would have thought that you'd be crying about this for a while longer."

"Well, how much **longer** am I **supposed** to cry my eyes out over this, Haruna?" asked Konoka. "Hm? How much good would a hundred more tears do versus a thousand or a million more? What will it get us? Zip; _that's_ what. Not only would it not do me or Secchan any good but it can't be very comfortable for you to be stuck in the middle like this, unsure of what to do or how to act around me. I feel terrible about what I had to ask of Secchan but I can't let this affect my life or yours. I have to move forward. What you did to her was a mistake and it never would have happened if she had been less of a bodyguard and more of a..." Konoka's voice trailed off and she pensively ran her tongue side to side along her lower lip.

"...Girlfriend?" asked Haruna, filling the gap in Konoka's sentence. The word made Konoka flinch upon hearing it as Haruna guessed correctly that _girlfriend_ was what she was almost about to say. "If she had picked up on your hints... made a move on you and claimed your heart much sooner... then none of this would have happened; not the bedroom mistake and not the consent you gave to make love after I nibbled your earlobes." Haruna cast her eyes downward and scratched the back of her neck. "It's all right; you can say it. You wish that she could have been your girlfriend."

Konoka envisioned herself lying on her side beside Setsuna in front of a crackling fireplace in a room of a Canadian ski lodge; the lodge in which they might have held their honeymoon. Setsuna certainly knew her Ojou-sama; Konoka would have loved a honeymoon in Canada. In her daydream, she and Setsuna were snuggled together on the floor swaddled in a nice squishy comforter that kept them toasty warm. Like a scene out of a movie, the newlyweds locked eyes as their faces drew closer and they shared an incredibly soft kiss that tasted like the mini marshmallow laden hot chocolate they drank after spending the majority of the daylight hours of their first day as a married couple skiing. Had this been Konoka's reality, there would have been no way to measure the level of indescribable joy this would have brought her. For what seemed like ages, Konoka had done everything but tell Setsuna outright that a reality such as this had been within her reach. The reality was that Setsuna - the real one - was now off limits for obvious reasons and as Konoka shook herself out of her daydream, she recognized that Haruna in the real world was now the key to her happiness. Taking a deep breath and expelling it audibly and nasally, Konoka responded to Haruna's statement.

"No, I don't think that I _should_ say it," said Konoka. "And I don't think that _you_ should, either, Paru-chan. To talk about what might have been would be pointless. Secchan's strong; way stronger than I am. She's been through things that would have sent an ordinary girl to a mental institution. I know that she has what it takes to fight through this. And who knows; she might even come out of it a stronger person. It's just going to take her some time to adjust to us. If she was fine with not being my g... being more than friends _before_ then she can be fine with not being more than friends _now._ Sure, I may have lost her respect but..." The gravity of Konoka's words hit her like a ton of bricks; she had lost Setsuna's respect. "...hoo boy... you know what? I'd better drop this. I can feel myself starting to get worked up all over again... and right after telling you that I wasn't going to cry anymore, too. Crazy, right? How about that Orix BlueWave, eh? I hear that they haven't been the same since Ichiro Suzuki left Japan for the United States to play for Major League Baseball."

"Oh," said Haruna who was thrown off by the sudden change in subject. "Yeah, I guess that's what they say. Yyyyep. That is what the people are saying, all right. Baseballllllllllllll... peoplllllllllle. Saying things. About baseball players." Haruna was surprised at herself for rambling about baseball of all things. She didn't care about Ichiro Suzuki or baseball. All she cared about was making sure that Konoka wasn't having second thoughts about being with her. "Argh... Look, Konoka, I don't do awkward well. I'd much rather address the white elephant in the room so I have to ask you straight out because I think I'm going to go crazy if I don't know the answer." Konoka turned her upper body slightly to face Haruna because she heard the wistful tone in her lover's voice.

"What's the matter, Haruna?" asked Konoka. "What do you want to know?"

"Are you thinking about... dumping me over this?" asked Haruna.

"What?" asked Konoka. "What a strange thing to ask. No, I'm not thinking about dumping you at all. Why would you think that I'd take such a step backward?"

"No reason." said Haruna as she nearly dunked Konoka under the water with a hug she launched at her from behind. She closed her eyes and was overjoyed to feel Konoka's body warmth against her chest. Though Haruna could not see it, Konoka smiled gently as the gesture. Haruna sniffled as she wiped away a tear than ran down her cheek with the back of her hand. "I love you so much, baby."

"I love you too, Paru-chan," said Konoka, "and I'm sorry; I didn't realize that I was being that vague about my feelings toward you. It should have occurred to me that I left you feeling a little insecure after Secchan left. I didn't reassure you that I still wanted to be with you. For the record, I do want to be with you. I did what I did to Secchan in order to protect and _keep_ you; not to dump you."

"Oh, Kono-chan," said Haruna. "You have no idea how much better I feel now that you've said that. Up until now, I was seriously afraid that my mistake meant the end for us."

"Not a chance," said Konoka grimly. "I had to grind Secchan's heart into miso to set things straight. Not that I would but if I _did_ dump you, then what I did to her would have all been for nothing. You're a smart girl. I'm surprised that that hadn't occurred to you."

"I guess I'm just paranoid where you're concerned."

"I love my friends and I'm through hurting them. I'd sooner hurt myself than hurt another friend."

Haruna's brow rose at Konoka's words and she released Konoka from the hug and sat up straight.

"That almost sounds like cutting talk," said Haruna.

"I wasn't even thinking about _that_," said Konoka. She smiled and rolled her eyes mischievously. "But now that you mention it, I _am_ a healing mage. I could just heal myself when I'm done so as not to leave any scars."

Haruna held Konoka's shoulders and spun her around so that they could face one another. Konoka involuntarily pivoted on her hip to deal with Haruna's spin and was repositioned so that she was now face to face with Haruna in an improvised yoga upward dog pose. The violent thrashing movement caused a fair amount of water to splash out of the tub.

"**KONOKA!**" shouted Haruna angrily. "You are **not** going to **cut** yourself! Do you hear me?" The look in Haruna's eyes combined with the Domo-kun bared fangs had frightened Konoka a little.

"Yikes. Take it easy, Haruna," said Konoka. "Snap my spine, why don'tcha? I don't really want to cut myself; I was only messing with you." Konoka repositioned herself so that she was once again sitting upright and facing Haruna.

"Well, don't," demanded Haruna. "Not about _that_, anyway," said Haruna. She relaxed her grip and since Konoka was now facing her, began to wash her front. "We used to have a member in the manga club... Atsuko was her name... who was a cutter. The club members and I noticed the increasing number of scars that were climbing up her arms past the bandannas she wore around both of her wrists every day. The other girls and I figured it wasn't our business to pry the reasons behind why she was doing it out of her but we did tell her that when she felt comfortable enough to talk to any of us about her... hobby... we'd be there to listen to her. One day on the third week after joining our club, Atsuko never showed up after school let out. The following day, your grandfather summoned me to his office along with my fellow manga club members but Atsuko wasn't there. The headmaster told us that Atsuko had taken her own life. He never said how she did it but the how wasn't really important. She was only 13."

"Oh," said Konoka. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Haruna. "I mean, I'm over it now. It sucks balls but these things happen – even in a place as wonderful as Mahora. Some kids don't see any way out of their depression and can't deal with the pain in their life. The headmaster offered the manga club members time off from class to go see Shizuna-sensei for counseling. I didn't really need to go but..."

"But you probably went anyway since it was an opportunity for you to skip out on class legitimately," surmised Konoka. Haruna folded her hands, brought them to the side of her face and smiled so widely that Konoka imagined that it hurt for Haruna to do so.

"_Oooooooh_, I love that you know how I operate," squealed Haruna. "It was a tragedy, sure, but I honestly wasn't as affected by it as you might think since I didn't really know Atsuko well enough to get attached to her. You, on the other hand, are my dear sweet Kono-chan. I couldn't bear the thought of you hurting yourself; to say nothing of hurting yourself over something that was my fault. Cutting yourself doesn't necessarily lead to suicide but you're not allowed to think about either of those things."

"I understand," said Konoka. "I'm sorry about upsetting you with my joke. I didn't realize that it was in poor taste. I'm not interested in cutting myself; I swear I'm not."

"I believe you and forgive you, baby," said Haruna with a grin. "Now let's stop talking about depressing subjects and start talking about our glorious future... and that future _staaaarts_...?" Turning her head to one side and leaving her mouth open, Haruna held her arms outward palms up to indicate to Konoka that she encouraged and awaited audience participation.

"Tomorrow morning?" guessed Konoka.

"_Tomorrow morniiiiing!_" beamed Haruna. "Here's my plan: we meet up in homeroom and when all the other girls are seated, we'll get up, stand in front of the class and announce to everyone that you and I are now going steady. Eeee! I can hardly wait to see the look on everyone's faces! Maybe Kazumi can record it on her phone for us and send us the video. Ooh, and I want stills for my phone's wallpaper! Oh! And don't let me forget that we need to take some purikura so that I can decorate my notebooks, sketchbooks and the inside of my locker door!"

Konoka seemed less than enthusiastic about this plan of Haruna's.

"Do we have to declare it to the whole class?" asked Konoka.

"What do you mean?" asked Haruna. "What's wrong with our class? Y-You're not having second thoughts about leaving the closet, are you?"

"No, I don't care about that. I meant..."

"Is it about your grandfather wanting great grandkids?" asked Haruna. "Because if that's the case, I think I might have that covered." Haruna made a fist, turned it palm side up and shook it back and forth rapidly. "I might be able to use my Imperium Graphices to give myself a temporary-"

"Gack! No, no, it's nothing like that," insisted a blushing Konoka as she held her hands out and shook her head.

"So what is it?"

"The problem is... Well, it would kind of put Secchan on the spot, don't you think?"

"How?"

"With the exception of Yue-chan, Honya-chan and Secchan, the other girls suspect that Secchan is my current love interest. When they learn that you're my girlfriend, they'll assume that she and I have had a falling out which means that they're bound to bombard her with nosy questions about what she thinks about this relationship."

"Yeah, I guess I could see that happening... but however she decides to handle that is her own business. I'm not Iincho so I have no control over anyone else in 3-A." Haruna saw the look of concern on Konoka's face and she knew that she'd have to sugarcoat her plan in order for Konoka to agree to it. "Look, baby... if you think she's not going to forgive you-"

"She won't," interrupted Konoka. "I know it."

"All right, fine," continued Haruna. "You _know_ she won't forgive you. Since that's the case, I don't see a problem here."

"How could you not see the problem? She's not going to forgive me for what I _did_ but that doesn't mean we have to cause her _further_ discomfort."

"Nor does it mean that we're obligated to dance around her feelings for the rest of our enrollment at Mahora. You were just talking about how we have to move forward. This sounds like backpedaling."

"It's not backpedaling. I just...want to extend some sensitivity toward her. I'm sure you can understand that."

"Are you sure she won't narc on me about the you-know-what?"

"Yes. Regardless of how she feels about me now, she gave her word and she doesn't go back on her word once she's given it."

"Then if she's as strong as you say she is, she'll just have to fight her way through this. If the class does bother her with questions, she can just make up whatever story she wants to give them or she can just remain silent. This is different than those charity people, love. Those people you donated your surplus allowance to? They can't help themselves. Setsuna can help herself. It's not your problem... and by choosing to make it your problem, you're making it **our** problem."

"How?"

"_How?_ Because I'm tired of discussing Setsuna, _that's_ how. By your own admission, you're no longer one half of that duo anymore and what's done is done. You're independent now so you have to start _thinking _independently."

"And the best way to start off my independent thinking is to do what you're telling me to do."

"Ex**act**ly."

Konoka blinked at Haruna's reply.

"Do you need to have your glasses on to detect sarcasm?" asked Konoka. "Because I can go get them for you if you do."

"I don't want my glasses," said Haruna. "Do you know what I want most of all?"

"World domination."

Haruna originally opened her mouth with the intention of disputing the charge but she paused after considering Konoka's answer. It wasn't really altogether incorrect.

"...Yyyyyyyyyyyyeahhhhhhh... but what I want most right **now** is to talk to you... about us... because I love you. And I want you to talk to me about us because you love me. Don't you see? Setsuna doesn't belong in conversations about us any longer. The future is about us and we are comprised of one Konoka Konoe and one Haruna Saotome. Anyone else should be outside of our jurisdiction. Let's do as we see fit for our sake and let the rest of the world fend for itself."

"All right... but I'd feel better with a tarot reading to see if this is going to end well."

"Why waste what little money you have on a tarot reading, baby? Fortune telling's a racket for con artists and the suckers and idiots who believe in that jazz. And what fortune teller is open at this hour anyway?"

Konoka silently knit her twitching brow and ground her teeth behind closed lips at Haruna's insulting remarks.

"Um, Haruna? I don't _pay_ anyone to do tarot readings _for_ me," said Konoka between clenched teeth. "I lay them out _myself,_ remember?"

"_Who_ are you laying out?" asked Haruna.

"Not who; _what_." said Konoka. "_**I**_ lay out tarot cards for readings. I've done it over a hundred times. Same with I Ching sticks, Tengenjutsu and about a half dozen other methods of fortune telling. Have you forgotten that I'm a member of Mahora Academy's fortune telling club and have been ever since I arrived at Mahora?"

"Konoka," said Haruna. "Mahora has never had a fortune telling club."

"Yes, it has and it still does."

"Seriously?"

"_Yes! Seriously!" _barked Konoka._ "How could you not know such a basic thing about me as what clubs I'm in?" _shrieked Konoka._ "I don't believe you!_"

"Sounds to me like you just did," said Haruna as she glanced at the ceiling and tried to fend off a smile. Konoka's eyes turned into little white circles and her jaw dropped. Haruna couldn't stop herself from sputtering and giggling at Konoka's reaction.

"I fell for it," said Konoka blankly.

"YOU TOTALLY FELL FOR IT!" exclaimed Haruna as she laughed out loud. "You should have seen the look on your face! _Man, were you ever pissed!_ WA HA HA HA HA HA HA! _Ahhhhhh._ I really am quite a convincing actress, am I not? I might join Murakami in the drama club."

"That might not be such a bad move since your manga career is off to such a lackluster start," said Konoka. "Hasn't your Mahō Shōjo manga lost over a **third** of its readership since last year?"

Both girls sat in the water with their arms folded as they slyly watched one another through narrowed eyes. Haruna's ahoge whipped from side to side as if they were a pair of tails from agitated cats. Her eye twitched from Konoka's verbal jab which wouldn't have hurt if there wasn't a grain of truth in it.

"Ouch," said Haruna. "Since it appears that I hit a nerve with my gag, I'm going to go ahead and say that we're even now... but just so you know? That was a mighty cheap shot for a little joke."

"What can I say? When I'm aiming for your pride, it's not easy to miss."

"And for your information, I'd have better overseas sales if it wasn't for those **fucking scanlation assholes** scanning and posting my shit online and eliminating the need for English manga readers to buy the English print versions. I'm losing my shirt with my publishers but do the scanlators care? Anyway, in all seriousness, I know plenty about you, Kono-chan, so just chillax." Konoka had scarcely noticed the devilish look in Haruna's eye before Haruna blurted out the fruit of her thought process. "Pop quiz: when's my birthday?"

"The 18th of August," answered Konoka plainly. "Just two days before summer break ends."

"Very good!" said Haruna as she gave Konoka a quick round of applause. "It's just around the corner, too. You don't _have_ to get me an expensive birthday present... but I really want you to." Konoka giggled at the way Haruna said this.

"Your birthday is the easiest one for me to remember because I just have to think of a pretty butterfly. See, if you put the 8 to the left of the 18, you get 818 which kind of looks like a butterfly and your ahoge makes me think of a butterfly's antenna which is how I remember it's _your_ birthday and not anyone else's."

"How sweet of you to flatter me by comparing me to a pret-ty but-ter-fly!" gushed Haruna. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," said Konoka. "And do _you_ remember _my_ birthday, love?"

Haruna flinched at the question and shed a gallon sized sweat drop from the back of her head. She knew that Konoka's birthday was before spring break began but the exact day escaped her. Crossing her arms and closing her eyes indignantly, she felt she had a good chance of avoiding having to answer the question if she could muscle her way past it.

"Yes."

"And when-"

"Look, I answered your question, all right? Yes, I remember it. D-Didn't I just say that you needed to chillax? _Now_ who's being insecure?" Konoka's closed eyes became a pair of cartoonish looking slits with sheets of tears pouring down her face.

_She so doesn't know when my birthday is_, thought Konoka.

"Trust me, Konoka. Everything will work out just fine tomorrow; tarot reading or no tarot reading. By lunchtime, the word Harukono will be on everyone's lips in Mahora."

"Not Konoharu?" asked Konoka.

"_Cheese with rice, woman!_" exclaimed Haruna as she tickled Konoka in mock anger. "Are you going to fight me tooth and nail over _every little scrap of territory?_" Konoka squealed and writhed under Haruna's fingers.

"Eeee! No tickling! I give! All right, all right," said Konoka with a giggle. "Harukono it is, my love." She took a moment to take in the wonderful girl sitting in front of her and silently thanked God for bringing them together for she would surely be in . "You're awesome, Haruna Saotome. You know that, don't you?"

"I suspected as much since I've been known to say it out loud for hours on end to anyone within shouting distance," said Haruna as she drew closer, "but that assessment never meant as much as it does right now... because it's coming from you: my equally awesome girlfriend Konoka Konoe." Haruna's face grew redder as she finished her sentence.

"_Awww_, you're _blushing!_" said a smiling Konoka as she placed her hands over her cheeks. "You're so cute when you... eh? Oh, my."

Konoka looked down at her breasts and found Haruna's hands caressing them gently. Haruna was grinning like a she-cat as she lightly prodded Konoka's nipple with her thumbs.

"I hope I'm not being a pest for asking," said Haruna, "but... we do have the place to ourselves for the rest of the night and it would be a shame to waste this rare moment of privacy. Are you in the mood to have some fun after I finish bathing you?"

"I'm not," said Konoka apologetically. "I wish I was, believe me. I'm sorry, love."

"No, no, don't be. It's all right," said a somewhat crestfallen Haruna. "It was worth a shot."

"But I can give _you_ a quickie if you'd like."

Haruna's ahoge stood straight up at the offer.

"Eh? You don't mind?" asked Haruna.

"Of course not, silly," answered Konoka. "Your horniness is just another one of the many things for me to love about you." Haruna closed her eyes and shrugged with a smile.

"Is there a contest for best girlfriend in the world?" asked Haruna. "Because if there is, I seriously have to nominate you."

"And I'll have to om-nom-nominate you." Konoka extended her tongue and flicked it rapidly at Haruna who instantly recognized the gesture even when it was ordinarily out of her line of sight when properly administered. Leaning in closer and supporting herself on her hands and knees, Haruna planted a deep tongue wrestling kiss on Konoka. A second after contact was initiated, Konoka sensed that something was wrong and she withdrew from the kiss to discover that Haruna's face had turned a ghastly shade of white. Her body was trembling as though she had a chill and a churning sound could be heard from her midsection.

"_Oi... Konoka..." _mumbled Haruna._ "You didn't brush your teeth after you threw up, did you?"_

A mortified Konoka slowly brought her hand up to her face and placed her fingers over her mouth. As her face turned beet red with embarrassment, she shook her head slowly as a reply to Haruna's question.

"_That's what I thought,"_ said Haruna shortly before vomiting directly into the bath water in front of her. With a shriek of terror, Konoka shot out of the tub with a cartwheel that was so perfectly executed that even Makie would have taken notice.

* * *

><p>"Setsuna-san?" asked Yue.<p>

"Mm?" replied Setsuna.

"Please don't take what I'm about to say as me being either gross or unsympathetic toward your dilemma," said Yue, "but please let me go and step out of the stall for a few minutes; I really have to pee."

"Oh," replied Setsuna. "Y-Yes, of course, I'm sorry, Yue-san." Releasing her smaller classmate, Setsuna stepped out of the stall and allowed Yue to close the door.

Setsuna estimated that the two of them had been standing in the stall embracing one another for approximately two hours; far longer than people who didn't know each other very well ought to embrace. Once Yue had finished her business, she flushed the toilet, left the stall and proceeded to walk toward the sinks to wash her hands.

"Please forgive my imposition," said Setsuna with a bow.

"Don't worry about it," said Yue. "I was willing to wait until you got it out of your system at your own pace... or at least until you were dehydrated; whichever came first..." Yue gave a polite smile as she held a piece of her blouse's left sleeve between her thumb and forefinger, shaking the large damp spot that Setsuna's makeup, tears and runny nasal discharge had left there. "But when nature calls, there isn't a louder sound; know what I mean?"

"Yes, I understand. I am _so_ sorry for what I did to your shirt, Yue-san. I'll launder it for you when-"

"No need," interrupted Yue. "I'm almost glad it happened because now I can do something fun."

"Fun?" asked Setsuna. "With a snot-covered sleeve?"

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" replied Yue with a toothy grin. She swung her lengths of hair over her left shoulder and, using her right hand, pinned all of it against her right shoulder. "But check this out." Yue held her left arm out to her side and began a magical chant. Once the chant was completed, a powerful yet localized breeze struck Yue's left shoulder which caused the sleeve to flap about like a flag in a hurricane. Once the wind ceased, Yue's sleeve was dry, clean and there was even a light scent of lavender.

"That was impressive," said Setsuna.

"One of the more helpful little spells I picked up in my time at Ariadne," said Yue as she swung her hair back behind her and pressed the liquid soap dispenser. "I won't have to spend money on laundry detergent for the rest of my life... and you know what that means, don't you?"

"More juice money?"

"Bingo. I remembered to hold my hair this time. The first time I tried it on clothing that I was wearing, the wind whipped one of my braid's sleigh bells into my head. Hurt like hell for days."

"That's a handy spell," remarked Setsuna. "Is there a bathing version of it? I could have used one when we were stranded in the magical world."

"Yes, but just like the laundering spell, the incantation summons spirits to do the work for you. I don't mind having them clean a spot off of my clothing on a neutral body part such as my arm but allowing them access to my entire body is a bit more familiar than I want to be with spirits." Yue turned on the sink and rinsed her hands under the running water.

"Yes, I can understand the desire to have some say in who gets to touch my body," muttered Setsuna as she held herself and looked away. Yue took a few paper towels from the dispenser and dried her hands. When she was finished, she threw the paper into the wastebasket and went back to the stall to fetch her bookbag.

"I was wondering how you knew where to find me," said Setsuna.

"I wasn't actually looking for you," said Yue, returning from the stall with her bag. "The truth is that I wandered in here to... um... use the bathroom and that's when I heard someone crying and there you were."

"Oh, I see. In any case, I am certainly glad that you showed up or I may not have left the stall at all. It would have been far more embarrassing for someone who I did not know to have found me like this."

Yue examined Setsuna carefully. She appeared to be harmless but a short time ago Setsuna was close to harming or even killing one of Yue's best friends. Yue nonchalantly began a slow process of opening her bookbag to grab hold of her secret weapon. She didn't want to use it but she had to know if Setsuna was still a danger to Haruna.

"So how are you feeling?" asked Yue.

"Not good," said Setsuna as she fought off another wave of tears, "but I do feel a little better. I suspect that I'll never truly feel good again. Am I correct in assuming that you know about what Haruna did?" Setsuna was referring to the manga-ka's sex crime.

"I do," said Yue who believed that Setsuna meant Haruna's bedding of Konoka, "and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I know that you had... certain feelings for Konoka. Nearly everyone in class knew that. Haruna is... well, she's Haruna. She does as she pleases and always has... but I never would have expected Konoka to go along with it. The news must have come as quite a shock to you."

"That would be putting it mildly," said Setsuna weakly as she turned the sink on and began to splash water on her face with both hands.

"I can only assume that if they weren't happy, they wouldn't be together... so they must be happy." Yue carefully slid her hand into her now open bag, opened the container and hid it behind her back as she slowly approached the swordswoman. Yue was certain that she had the speed to lift Setsuna's robe and expose her behind before she could catch on. With her hands trembling, she summoned her courage and fighting spirit to strengthen her resolve. It still didn't seem right to do this and so she decided to feel out Setsuna and see if she was still a threat.

"Setsuna-san, please forgive me if this sounds aggressive but please understand that, as Haruna's friend, I have an obligation to try and stop you if you intend to... kill her."

"Yue-san," said Setsuna. "Saotome has earned my contempt as well as my wrath. I can never forgive her for what she's done to me. However, I've given Konoka-Ojou-sama my word that I won't harm Saotome. I am bound by my honor to keep my word but I am also honor bound to defend Konoka-Ojou-sama from harm. As long as Saotome doesn't hurt her, she shall remain unharmed by me."

Yue believed that Setsuna was being honest and so she decided to relieve herself of the burden of her secret weapon.

"All right," said Yue. "You've convinced me that I can trust you not to hurt Haruna so I'd like to share something with you. Do you know what this is?" Yue showed Setsuna the jar she had previously held behind her back. Setsuna took a few steps toward Yue for a closer look at the item.

"Um, assuming that the contents of the jar are the same as what the manufacturer label says, this is a container of Aguni Japanese Sea Salt."

"Right. Do you have any concerns about this sea salt?"

"Concerns? N-No. I use soy sauce quite often and my blood pressure is fine. A little extra sodium in moderation isn't going to affect me. Do you intend to cook something for me, Yue-san?"

"No," said Yue.

"Oh," said Setsuna who was somewhat disappointed as she was starting to get a little hungry. "Then if you'll forgive me, I'm afraid that your line of questioning has me confused."

"As a member of the crow tribe, this sea salt doesn't... worry you?"

"Yue-san. We're talking about seasoning. Unless it's consumed in large quantities or thrown in one's eyes, seasoning can't harm my people."

"This one can," said Yue. "Have you heard the expression about being able to catch a bird by putting salt on its tail? Naturally it's just a myth since birds aren't affected by salt at all... but I've recently learned from Orbis Sensualium Pictus that if sea salt is administered to the bare buttocks of a member of the crow tribe, they are robbed of their ability to call forth their wings and fly." Setsuna's eyes widened and her mouth hung open slightly. "Judging by your reaction, I take it that this is news to you."

"That's ridiculous," said Setsuna. "You're putting me on."

"You're welcome to take this bottle and sprinkle some on your buttocks if you don't believe me."

"Uh, no, thank you. If it's true then learning first hand that it's true would hardly be worth the risk," said Setsuna. "Are you absolutely sure that sea salt affects the crow tribe, Yue?"

"I'm only as sure as the writer of the magical text was that it worked."

"I do not understand how this could be possible. I've been in the ocean before and the salt water never affected my wings."

"Did you swim in the nude?"

"What a question! Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Then that might have made the difference. Who can say? Best not to risk swimming in the ocean again just to be safe."

Setsuna opened up the robe that Yue had given her to wear and let it slide just below her shoulders. She then called forth her wings, stretched them for a bit and gave them a few flaps.

"They've caused me trouble since birth, as you already know," said Setsuna, "but they are part of who I am and I wouldn't be without them."

Yue had read about characters with magical wings in children's literature long before she joined the children's lit club and she was quite captivated by the sight of the real thing. She blushed as she recalled that, in addition to Sunny Honey, she also had Sky-Hi who was a pegasus. _What is it with this pony thing?_ wondered Yue.

"I have a pretty good idea as to why you happen to have sea salt on your person now. You intended to use it on me because you knew I would be Saotome's enemy."

"Setsuna-san...I-"

"How long would I have been unable to call forth my wings if you had used that sea salt on me?" asked Setsuna sternly.

"Oh, um, it didn't give a time period."

"So there's a chance that the effects might have be permanent?"

"I don't have an answer for you. I only know what my artifact told me."

"I thought we were friends, Yue-san. You would have crippled a friend? Possibly for life?"

"We are friends, Setsuna-san but yes, I would have crippled a friend if it meant keeping her from killing one of my best friends if I had been left with no choice. If you were in my shoes, I know that you'd do whatever it took if it meant saving Konoka's life."

"I wouldn't have needed my wings to kill Saotome."

"True... but your lack of mobility would have at least given Haruna a fighting chance if she needed to retreat from your attack."

"Who else knows about this... vulnerability?" asked Setsuna.

"Just Nodoka."

"Nodoka-san... who could easily have spoken to Saotome and told her about it. It would be no skin off of Saotome's nose if she robbed me of my wings in addition to everything else she's taken from me. And I'd still be honor bound not to harm her. How can I ever thank you?" Setsuna crossed her arms and turned her back on Yue.

"Hey, what's with the sarcasm? Haruna wouldn't mess with you unless you gave her a valid reason. And not only did I reveal my weapon to you; I told you in advance what it does. I had the perfect opportunity to pelt your ass with salt crystals when you were naked and crying on the floor but I didn't. I couldn't. I felt sorry for you. When you said you gave your word that you wouldn't hurt Haruna, I showed you the sea salt as a peace offering. As a warrior, I thought that you would see the gesture for what it was: a sign of respect."

"You're right, Yue-san," said Setsuna as she turned to face Yue. "You've been honest with me and I do appreciate your desire to keep your friend safe from harm. And you were right about me doing the same if Konoka-Ojou-sama was in danger. And thank you for not pouring the sea salt on my ass." Setsuna's words had barely left her lips when both she and Yue began to laugh at how absurd they sounded. "That's not a sentence one hears every day."

"If you'll forgive my curiosity, I have to ask you something," said Yue. "I get why you're upset at Haruna but one thing I couldn't figure out was why you were naked when I found you."

"Oh. Let's just say that I hated what I was wearing and leave it at that," said Setsuna as she looked at the ceiling. She then cast a happy glance at Yue."But then you came to my rescue, Yue-san. Thank you very much for treating me with kindness. As I have already lost one friend, I feel obligated to show as much gratitude to the few friends that I have left."

"I don't think that Konoka has abandoned you as a friend," said Yue.

"With all due respect, Yue-san," said Setsuna, "you weren't there. From my vantage point, the message I received was that she no longer cares enough about my feelings to treat me as a... well, a human being. It was difficult to misinterpret."

"While I haven't been friends with Konoka as long as you have, I honestly don't believe that's the case. This might just be a matter of perception versus intention. Take me, for example; I'm Baka Black. Since I hate studying mundane academic subjects, my grades are generally poor so on paper, one would think that I'm stupid... but does anyone in class _really_ think that I'm stupid?"

"Yes."

"What? Who?"

"You want me to name names?"

"Name-_zuh?_ As in plural? Was one of them Sakurako? That lost Narutaki triplet has some nerve calling other people stupid!"

"Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything," said Setsuna as she covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile.

"Okay, does anyone in **Ala Alba** really-think-that-I'm-stupid-no-they-don't." blurted Yue before Setsuna had the chance to answer. "My point is that what's on the surface isn't always the same as what's on the inside. It's only been a handful of hours at most since you found out about Konoka and her relationship with Haruna and you're already making up your mind about how Konoka feels about you. If you want my advice, I'd recommend giving Konoka some time to reflect. She may not dump Haruna outright so it's best not to get your hopes up about that... but deep down she's the kindest person I know. She's bound to come to the conclusion that she could have gone about this whole thing a lot better and ask for your forgiveness." Yue remained silent for a moment as she considered something. "Was one of them Hasegawa?" she asked. "I'll bet it was Hasegawa. That acerbic hermetic misanthropic wet blanket wouldn't know stupid if she looked in a mirror - which would be the best place for her to start." Setsuna fought off a smile and a snicker at Yue's witch hunt. "You may think that she's abandoned you but she hasn't been your friend for all these years just because it was convenient. She still cares about you... just not in _that_ way."

Not in that way.

The words blew down the house of cards that was Setsuna's reforged courage and she crumpled to the floor in a heap of renewed sorrow. Konoka's love was going to be as difficult a thing to live without as air or water. Setsuna buried her face in her hands and began to weep once again.

Yue picked up the weeping swordswoman and carried her through the hallway. Setsuna wrapped her arms around the back of Yue's neck and bawled into her shoulder, feeling better about doing so since the laundering spell would undo any unsightly spots she would leave. As she descended the stairs with the surprisingly light Setsuna in her arms, she ran into Ku Fei and Kaede who were ascending the same staircase.

"Yue-dono?" asked Kaede. "Is that Setsuna-dono? Is she all right?"

"Yes, she's okay," answered Yue. "Her Aunt Rose is visiting and she's got really heinous cramps. GYEHHH!" Yue winced as Setsuna viciously tugged on her left ponytail for making such an inappropriate comment.

"Ohhhhhhhhh," said Ku Fei and Kaede in unison.

"I use a hot water bottle when my cramps are particularly bad," said Kaede. The koga ninja often favored simple homeopathic alternatives over modern medicine. Ku Fei noticed that Yue was carrying Setsuna without a hint of strain.

"Baka Leader, you're stronger than I would have guessed," said Ku Fei with an eager smile. "You should spar with me some time."

"That's your answer for _every_thing, Baka Yellow," stated Yue.

"Not true," said a pouting Ku Fei.

"I do not wish to be contradictory but there is some truth in what Yue-dono says, Ku Fei-dono," said Kaede. "You do have a rather unhealthy obsession with asking people to spar with you if they have shown even the slightest hint of strength."

"That's not true!" claimed Ku Fei with a huff. "For such an insult, I demand satisfaction! I challenge you!" With that, Ku Fei and Kaede began to bounce off the walls, battling each other with moves that were faster than the human eye could register.

"You're making my argument **for** me, Ku Fei-dono," said Kaede.

"You take that back or else," said Ku Fei.

"Or else what? You'll attack me?"

"Yes! I mean no! I mean..." Ku Fei stopped attacking Kaede and the truth slowly began to sink in. "Oh, Kaede," sobbed Ku Fei as she wiped both of her eyes with her knuckles. "I think... I think I may have an addiction to combat training."

"There, there, Ku Fei-dono," said Kaede as she placed a hand on Ku Fei's shoulder. "The first step in overcoming any addiction is admitting that you have a problem. You're quite brave."

"Brave enough... to do THIS!" shouted Ku Fei as she sent Kaede to the ground with a judo throw which she then followed with a painful arm bar.

"Ku Fei-dono! Stop this at once!" cried Kaede.

"Aiyah! I didn't mean to do that!" said Ku Fei as she released Kaede and stood up. She placed her hands against her mouth in horror.

"It's all right. I am uninju-"

"I meant to do THIS!" Ku Fei grabbed Kaede once more and took her down to the floor with another judo throw and then comboed it with a chokehold. Kaede flailed about in vain and just as she was about to pass out, Ku Fei released her and regained a vertical base. Gasping for breath, Kaede rolled over on her back to see that Ku Fei was in tears.

"Kaede, how could you?" wept Ku Fei. "You're enabling me!"

"And you are... _dis_abling... **me**," spat Kaede between breaths.

"You guys," muttered Yue as she shook her head and sighed. "Honestly."

Leaving her fellow Baka Rangers to their training, Yue continued carrying Setsuna to her dorm. While her own fighting prowess was above and beyond what it had been before her trip to Mundus Magicus, Yue was still far too inexperienced to hang with Ku Fei, even in a sparring situation.

When the two girls reached the swordswoman's dorm, Setsuna had stopped crying but she was still holding onto Yue. Yue thought about how far this mighty warrior had fallen and she took it as an honor to be able to help her return to her full strength. Yue crouched to lower Setsuna's feet to the ground and Setsuna gained her footing as she stood on her own. She bowed in thanks to Yue; a bow which Yue returned respectfully. Setsuna patted her right hip and then both hips as if she was looking for something. Groaning, Setsuna held her forehead as she wore an expression of dread.

"Oh," said Yue. "No keys, huh?"

"Correct," said Setsuna, "but Mana is in. Pardon me, Yue-san, but may I please borrow 100 yen?"

"What an odd time to ask for money. Did you want a drink from the vending machine or something?"

"No. It's for Mana. I do not have my dorm key on my person and while I happen to know that Mana is in, she won't answer the door for me unless I slide 100 yen under the door first."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Alas, I am not," said Setsuna as she lowered her head and sighed. "Apart from that, she's really not all that bad."

"What a biiiiiiiaaaad way to treat a roommate." said Yue. She changed her word mid-sentence in the event that Mana overheard the insult. Yue rummaged through her bookbag and found a small wallet. She extracted the only bill she had in it and handed it to Setsuna. "All I have is a 2,000 yen note."

"Thank you," said Setsuna. She placed the legal tender under the door and knocked three times. Mana had opened the door before Setsuna's third knock came in contact with the door.

"A pleasure doing business with you, Sakurazaki-san," said Mana in her husky tone. "By the way, Ayase-san. I heard you speaking when you almost called me a bitch."

"Oh," said Yue. "Well, I guess you'd better shoot me. That's what you do, isn't it, Tatsumiya-san?"

"How very cute," said Mana with the creepiest of grins. "I don't fire upon unarmed classmates without a valid reason... ammunition doesn't grow on trees... and name-calling is beneath my notice. You needn't have been fearful of offending me with your words as I happen to take pride in the fact that I am a bitch. Sakurazaki, you now have nineteen door openings on your credit." Setsuna sighed and nodded as Mana tucked the 2,000 yen note in her bra and walked to the refrigerator where she poured herself a glass of milk.

"Eh? Wait a minute, Tatsumiya," said Yue. "I was hoping to get change back," said Yue. "Can't you break a 2,000 yen bill?"

"I believe that you are in error, Ayase-san," said Mana. "You and I have no business to settle." Mana reached into her bra and took out the 2,000 yen bill. "This became Sakurazaki's money the moment it left your hand and it became mine the moment it left her hand. She presented it to me as payment for services rendered. Sakurazaki does not get change; she gets credit. I am not a bank. She knew this and now _you_ know this. If you want back what you lent, take it up with Sakurazaki because it's not my problem. If you don't like it, that would be **your** problem." Mana looked at Setsuna. "Sakurazaki-san. As I said; nineteen more door openings on credit. If you can remember not to leave your keychain at Konoe's so often, that should last you for a while." Mana chugged the glass of milk, rinsed out the glass and placed it on the dish rack to dry.

"Don't let Tatsumiya get to you, Yue-san," said Setsuna. "You have my word that I shall withdraw some cash from an ATM after class tomorrow and you shall be paid back in full."

Yue acknowledged Setsuna's words with a nod but her head was turned because she was watching Mana as she walked back to the bed and climbed to the top bunk. She had never been spoken to so callously by one of her classmates before and she questioned whether or not the sharpshooter ever possessed a kind heart.

"No wonder you were so happy to spend time with someone like Konoka," said Yue. "You live with a toll collector..." Yue turned to face Mana's bunk. The sharpshooter was lying on her side with her back to her classmates. "...and I hope you heard that, too, bitch."

"Tsurupettan," muttered Mana.

"Yue-san..." said Setsuna. "You've already helped me more than I can ever repay... and I'm truly grateful... so I feel bad to ask you for further help..."

"It's all right," said Yue. "What do you need?"

"Would you be willing to spend the night here? I'd rather not be alone right now."

"You're not alone;" observed Yue. "Tatsumiya's here."

Yue blushed at how stupid her statement sounded shortly after making it. Being with Mana was about as good as being alone and getting sympathy from her probably required a major credit card and a cosigner. She thought about Nodoka waiting for her back at their dorm and that was enough to get Yue to agree to Setsuna's request. _It might even be fun_, she thought.

"If you'll lend me the use of your bath and some jammies, you've got yourself a sleepover," said Yue.

"Certainly," said Setsuna. "Thank you." She walked to her dresser and found suitable sleepwear for Yue as well and directed her to where she would find some bath towels. Yue thanked her and made off for the bathroom. Once she had disappeared from sight, it had dawned on Setsuna that she had never hosted an honest-to-goodness girly sleepover before and the prospect thrilled her. _I do hope that she doesn't want to talk about boys all night,_ she thought.

* * *

><p>The girls lay on their sides in Setsuna's bottom bunk bed facing one another. Setsuna had bathed right after Yue and they both smelled of orange blossoms. Setsuna wore full pajamas while Yue wore one of Setsuna's kimono jackets as her sleepwear since all of Setsuna's pajama bottoms were too long for her and looked ridiculous. They spoke in whispers so as not to disturb Mana who was asleep in the bunk above them.<p>

"I wouldn't call myself a hero exactly," said Yue. "I just happened to be in the right place at the right time."

"Nonsense," said Setsuna. "I have been heroic from time to time so I would know. Today, you were my hero... and my friend... and I thank you for that."

"Then perhaps you can do me a favor and call me by my first name," said Yue.

"A-As you wish... Yue." said Setsuna with a gentle smile. "I'd... like to extend the same courtesy to you as well."

"All right... Setsuna. Setsuna, may I ask you a personal question? And it's all right if you don't want to answer."

"By all means," said Setsuna. "Ask away."

"When did you first figure out that you were... you know... gay?"

Setsuna flinched as she was prepared for just about any other question.

"You... think I'm gay?" asked Setsuna.

"You're... _not_ gay?" asked Yue. Setsuna bit her lip and hesitated to address the question. "Ah... Forgive me. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so forward. I've embarrassed you."

"No, it's all right," said Setsuna. "You've done nothing wrong. You see, my hesitation comes from my lack of familiarity with your definition of the word gay."

"_My_ definition?"

"If, by gay, you mean the inability to find members of the opposite sex to be sexually attractive, then my answer is no, I am not gay. Although it's rare, I can find a boy sexually attractive. Negi-sensei in his 15 year old age misrepresentation pill form is one such example." Yue blushed as she recalled her fantasy where Negi was administering oral sex to her. "He is rather striking and is going to make a fine boyfriend and husband to some lucky woman some day. Why are you blushing?"

"N-No reason." replied Yue. "Please continue."

"If gay means being sexually attracted to members of the same sex exclusively, then, once again, my answer is no, I am not gay. The female body holds no sway over me. I have gone to the bath hall with you, Nodoka-san, Asuna and the others numerous times and I've never become sexually aroused at the sight of naked female bodies. But... if gay means being attracted to a special friend - in every way - who happens to be a member of the same sex, then my answer is yes, I am gay. As for when I knew, I would say that it was awakened in me that first day that Konoka and I met as children. I did not feel lust for her as I was far too young to have such thoughts but I knew that she had touched my heart from the moment that she gave me that first smile. I knew that she would always be at the end of any path to joy that I chose. If Konoka was a tree, I would be a bird seeking shelter in her branches. If she was the sun, I would be the horizon, ever waiting to be reunited with her. If she was the north pole, I would be a compass and the needle my heart, pointing unerringly toward magnetic north. She could have been born as either gender and Konoka would still matter a great deal to me. I will desire to be near her for as long as I have the ability to desire anything. Sadly, her actions indicate that she doesn't feel the same way."

"She did at one point. Well, several points. Actually, it was more like millions of points. Look, Setsuna. I hate to be the one to break it to you but you didn't exactly-"

"I know, I know. I haven't been oblivious to Konoka's hints."

"Then why did you let those opportunities pass you by?"

"In order for you to truly understand, I'd have to tell you a bit about my early childhood and I'm not very comfortable talking about it."

"I see."

"It's been hours and I still cannot fathom the situation. I never would have dreamed that Konoka-Ojou-sama would give up her feelings for me in favor of Saotome."

With the speed of a jungle predator, Mana descended from the top bunk and cracked both Setsuna and Yue in the head with the butt of her pistol. They groaned and held their heads as Mana stood over them, waiting to be acknowledged.

"Ladies, you disturbed my slumber," said Mana when she knew she had their attention. "There's a price for doing that and I've just collected." Mana took a clip from her shoulder holster, held it to the butt of the pistol and smacked it in. "I've just loaded this pistol with real rounds of ammunition. Wake me again and I'll use it." Mana placed the pistol on a nearby kotatsu table and climbed the ladder to the top bunk. When she reached the top, she lowered her head from the mattress and spoke to them while upside down. "This is your final warning. I have the contact information of your next of kin in my cell phone. Don't make me use up the last of my anytime minutes delivering bad news."

Rubbing the bump on her head, Yue softly incanted a spell for just such an occasion. A pair of magical earplugs appeared beside Mana's ears which would keep her from hearing any noise that might wake her up. The sharpshooter went back to sleep and Setsuna and Yue resumed their conversation at their normal volume.

"As I was about to say before Mana tagged us," said Yue, "I don't think this happened because Konoka has lost her feelings for you."

"Then what is your theory as to what happened?"

"I think Haruna saw Konoka as a free agent and simply took the initiative to seal the deal."

Setsuna closed her eyes and lay her head back down on her pillow.

"She's always been a bit pervy," continued Yue. "I just never saw her as the kind of girl willing to go all the way with another girl. Nor... did I see myself... in that way." Yue looked away as she spoke those words. Setsuna's eyes opened upon hearing them and she turned to face Yue.

"Yourself? Yue, do you mean what I think you meant?" asked Setsuna.

"Based on your last definition, I think... I have reason to believe that I may have those kinds of feelings for a certain female someone."

"Really?" asked Setsuna. Yue nodded as she blushed. "I see. . Well, I certainly wish you better luck than I had. Does Nodoka-san know how you feel?"

"No, she- ... Nodo-? You think I fell for Nodoka?"

"Is it not her?"

"No. What made you think it was Nodoka?"

"It is that outlandish a guess? The two of you are very close."

"Not _that_ close."

"Pity. I think you would have made a cute couple."

"Perish the thought. She's my dorky best friend and I love her but I do not have the hots for her."

"I don't suppose it would be Saotome."

"**Immolate the thought.** No; _this_ girl is much more disciplined and reliable."

"Is it anyone that I know?"

"Yes. I'll give you a hint. She's part beast."

"Oh, my." Setsuna covered her mouth with her blanket and blushed.

"Have you figured out who it is?" asked Yue with a grin.

"Um, perhaps," said Setsuna. "Is it... me?"

Yue's eyes grew wide as she wondered how Setsuna could have come to such a conclusion.

"N-No, it's not," said Yue. "How are _you_ part beast?"

"How am I...? Hmm, let me think about that for a moment." Setsuna crossed her arms, held her chin to illustrate that she was pondering the question and then extended her wings.

"Oh! Boy, do I feel stupid!" said Yue as she conked herself in the head with her knuckles. "I had completely forgotten about those!"

Setsuna wore a cheeky grin which Yue had never seen before.

"I don't know whether I should feel complimented that you think of me as a normal human or worried that you are so forgetful."

"Setsuna, I feel close enough to you to be able to say this comfortably: Shut up." Setsuna laughed at Yue's comment.

"So that would leave either Emily, Von Katze, Du Chat or Collet."

"It's Emily."

"I was hoping that she was the one!" said Setsuna with a smile. "If you'll permit me to say something that an ordinary teenage girl would say, you would make an absolutely adorable couple; even cuter than if you were with Nodoka-san."

"But there's the problem," said Yue. "I don't even have reason to believe that she's into girls. I'm only mildly certain that I am for that matter. I'm running on sheer curiosity so approaching her before I can get these feelings sorted out would be too risky. Then there's the long distance thing. Even if I'm lucky enough to learn that she would like to be in an exclusive relationship with me, she has designs on becoming an ambassador here and I plan on studying abroad in the Magical World. We'll be on two separate paths almost constantly and a long distance relationship would be unfair for both of us... not to mention that I wouldn't want to be the one who changes her career goals just so that she can be with me."

"I wish that I had some advice to impart to you but I hardly qualify as someone successful in matters of the heart."

Yue smiled warmly at Setsuna.

"You know, what happened to you today was unfortunate to say the least but for what it's worth, it gave us a chance to talk and get to know one another better. You and I have never spent any time hanging out together... or just lie around and talk to one another like this. I could get used to it."

"The same was true of Saotome and Konoka-Ojou-sama," said Setsuna, "and they became lovers shortly thereafter."

Yue had no idea why she was going to say what she was about to say. She only knew that she wanted to say it.

"When you put it like that... Setsuna... I can't tell if you mean that as a deterrent... or... an _incentive_."

Setsuna's eyes opened widely at Yue's words and then her expression softened as she formulated the perfect reply.

"Which meaning would you prefer... Yue?" asked Setsuna.

Both girls blushed ever so slightly. Yue concealed her grin behind her blanket. Her heart was beating a little more quickly than it had been. This was different from the times when she was close to Negi. She was a nervous wreck with him. The feeling Setsuna gave her was closer to excitement. They exchanged no words. None were needed. They were simply two girls looking into one another's friendly yet lonesome eyes, blissfully aware of the gentle souls housed just behind them. It was a perfect moment that was theirs alone.

"Good night, Setsuna," said Yue as she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes with a smile.

"Good night, Yue," said Setsuna as she did the same.


	11. Wakeup Caw

Yue awoke from her slumber in the wee hours of the morning to find herself in a precarious situation: Setsuna was spooning her in her sleep.

_O-kaaay_, thought Yue. _Think rationally, Yue. Your friend who isn't in the habit of having another person sleeping beside her is just nestled up against you. You aren't in any danger of being harmed. This is not a situation which requires immediate rectifying so you don't have to wake her. To do so would only embarrass her and make her self-conscious... not to mention that one of us might feel obligated to sleep on the couch. She just shifted in her sleep and is unaware that she's done this; that's all. It's perfectly normal. Just put it out of your mind, go back to sleep and, come sunrise, there's every chance that she'll have shifted again and it'll be as if it never happened._

"...Kono-chan..." mumbled the unconscious Setsuna. The spooning had just become more awkward as Setsuna slid her arm across Yue's body and her blanketed leg found its way over Yue's blanket where her thigh was.

_Well, __**that**__ certainly didn't improve things,_ thought Yue. _At least it appears as though she's having a pleasant dream if it's about Konoka. Uh-oh. What if that dream is too pleasant... and she starts groping me? No, no, that's stupid. She wouldn't grope Konoka in real life so she wouldn't do that in a dream, either. Or could it be that a dream is the only place where Setsuna would dare to do something so bold? What am I thinking? Don't freak out over a little incidental contact. She isn't crossing a line... yet. Nothing is going to happen. Still, it wouldn't hurt to stay awake until she's moved off of me._

As Yue patiently waited for Setsuna to remove her stray limbs, she thought about Emily and wondered what the best way to go about confessing her feelings to the shapely beast girl might be. She saw herself approaching Emily from behind who would most likely be seated at her desk studying some magical textbooks.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san, I have a confession to make," said Yue. "I'm attracted to you and I was hoping that you and I could date."<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Yue-san!" exclaimed Emily. "As long as we're being honest with one another, I must confess that I too have had similar feelings for you. This is so sudden but... if you truly feel that I am worthy of you, then I would be honored to... no, I would __**love**__ to date you!"_

This was far too idealistic so Yue decided to reimagine it with likelier dialogue.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "what would you do if I were to ask you out?"<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Ask me out?" asked Emily. "On a date? Here is what I would do: as you are my friend, I'd tell you that I was flattered by your offer and then let you down gently by informing you that I was heterosexual."_

"_Oh," said Yue as she hung her head in disappointment._

While this scenario certainly had a ring of realism to it, the outcome was too pessimistic. Still, if Emily's refusal was meant to be, Yue figured that her proposal might as well be over the top. As there was no harm in doing so, she imagined what it would be like to be as straightforward as possible.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "what would you do if I were to <em>_**eat**__ you out?"_

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Get away from me, you lascivious old world duckpin!" shouted Emily angrily._

Yue smirked at her own silliness and she decided to make further sport of these scenarios.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "what are your thoughts on tribadism?"<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_As in getting plates in your earlobes and wearing animal bones through your nose?" asked Emily. "Eugh! The whole practice seems perfectly dreadful."_

Emily certainly seemed like the kind of girl who would be clueless about such things.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "if you were in the middle of town and you thought that you were wearing a very pretty bra, would it be something that you'd like to get off your chest?<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Not at all," said Emily. "I don't believe in being boastful about the quality of my garments when so many less fortunate people have to make do with those made from common materials."_

Sneaking double entendres like this past Emily wasn't as much fun as Yue thought – primarily because her flustered reactions made her twice as cute.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "I have a nickname for my privates; it's 'Your Money'."<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Why are you telling me this, Yue-san?" asked Emily with an eyebrow raised._

_Yue lifted the front of her pleated cadet skirt to show that she wasn't wearing any panties._

"_Because I was wondering if you would care to put it where your mouth is," said Yue. _

"_Put that away, you perverted purple-haired periwinkle!" shouted Emily._

It was obvious to Yue that she was in a very silly mood and she snickered as she broke into a chain of scenarios.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "are you familiar with the old world sport of tennis?"<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_**I'm not a lesbian!**__" shouted a flustered Emily._

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san, have you ever tasted your own juice?" asked Yue.<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Yue-san, have you ever tasted your own blood?" asked Emily as she reared back with a punch aimed at Yue's jaw._

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue, "I'd like to ask you something... wait a minute... is that a photo of Nodoka on your desk?"<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_Yes!" declared Emily happily as she snatched the framed photograph from the desk and hugged it to her bosom. "Nodo-chan is my new fiancee!"_

_Yue performed a leaping pratfall and wound up lying on the floor with a wooden bucket over her head._

"_That's right!" said Emily. "After she found out that Negi-san and Kotaro-san eloped, she asked if I would be her life partner and since I was a closeted single lesbian with no prospective partners, I said yes... after which we tribbed until sunrise! Ah, what a glorious night we had."_

"_Oh," said Yue stolidly. "I... can't find the words to properly express how happy I am for you, Emily; for the both of you. Congratulations. Say, you wouldn't happen to have a gun lying around that I could borrow, would you? I'd only need it for about a second."_

"_No, sorry," replied Emily, "but I just remembered that I do have something for you."_

"_Is it a length of rope with a noose at one end?" asked Yue as she assessed the sturdiness of the crossbeams up by the ceiling. "That would be nice, too."_

_Emily picked up what appeared to be an official notice letter from her desk and handed it to Yue._

_Yue took the letter and examined it; recognizing the letterhead as that of Ariadne Academy's legal department._

"_What is this?" asked Yue as she turned the notice right side up to read it._

"_The Ariadne Academy bursar was in yesterday and dropped this notice off for you," said Emily. "He said that your return to the old world was a technical violation of the terms of your scholarship and that you had 24 hours to pay your past due amount of five hundred and eighty-six thousand seven hundred and twwwwwenty-two drachma or you'd be placed under legal slavery as a vassal to the academy until you work off your debt. With slave wages being what they are minus slave union dues, I'm certain that you would regain your freedom in about a decade."_

_As she read the notice, Yue's face grew pale as she confirmed what Emily was saying. Just then, a firm knock was heard at their door which caused Yue to quickly turn around and face the door's direction._

"_Oh," said Emily. "That 24 hour deadline began yesterday, didn't it? So that must be the bursar along with his guards. I was so busy having hawt lesbian secks with Nodo-chan that I completely forgot to give this to you! Please accept my apologies, Yue-san. Do make sure you tell Grandmaster Seras to give you time off so that you can be Maid of Honor at our wedding, won't you? Now, what was it that you were going to ask me?"_

_With fountains of tears arcing outward from her bulging eyes, Yue staggered backwards for a few steps, held her head with both hands and looked up at the ceiling ._

"_**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO!**__"_

Yue wasn't sure what dark corner of her mind concocted that chilling scenario but it might not be the worst idea in the world to verify – before returning to Mundus Magicus in person – that her departure to Japan didn't somehow invalidate her free enrollment arrangement.

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san... there's something that I have to tell you."<em>

_Emily spun her chair around and faced Yue._

"_What is it, Yue-san?" asked Emily._

"_Our friendship is one of the most important things in the world to me... not only because you're such a wonderful person... but because I see it as the first step of what could be a journey to something greater." She took Emily's hands into her own and looked lovingly at Emily. "I look into your sweet eyes and I see not only a girl who has beauty, intelligence, compassion, courage and class... but I also see the reflection of what has to be the luckiest girl in this world or any other. Having you as my Iincho and benefiting from your guidance has been invaluable to me and any words of thanks I could assemble seem too weak to convey my gratitude adequately. Having you as my friend is simply the icing on the cake... and yet, I would be lying to myself if I said that I wasn't interested in seeing if we could grow even closer and perhaps reach a new level of happiness together... interested in seeing if our bodies and hearts can connect as well as our minds have already done. Iincho-san, I want you to know that I care about you and I worry about you when we're apart. I worry that some boy will sweep you off your feet before I've had a chance to ask you for... a chance." Yue held Emily's hands as she knelt before her. "What I'm asking, Iincho-san... Emily... is this: would you be open to the idea of exploring these feelings with me? I know that this is bold of me to ask but when my heart can see rapture lying just behind your yes, how can I not put the courage you've given me to good use? I promise that if you give me this one chance, I'll make it my responsibility to make you every bit as happy as you've made me. What do you say?"_

"_Oh, Yue-san," said a blushing Emily. "I..."_

_Without warning, a floating Negi quickly appeared before them and they turned their heads to face him. He was wearing a charcoal grey jumpsuit, dark sunglasses and had four metallic tentacles that writhed about wildly._

"_NEGI SPRINGFIELDONAPUS," barked Negi in a deep gravelly voice. With a mighty "__**BLAAAAAAAAAAH!**__", an intense fully charged white laser beam burst from Negi's now ridiculously large and ruby-lipped mouth, disintegrating both Yue and Emily._

* * *

><p>"<em>Iincho-san," said Yue. "...wait, never mind; Setsuna's moving."<em>

"_Oh, okay," said Emily._

* * *

><p>Just as Yue had predicted, Setsuna had retracted her limbs and returned to lying on her back. The timing couldn't have been better – for once she was free of Setsuna's embrace, Yue was notified by her bladder that it needed emptying again. Yue cursed herself for her lack of forethought for selecting the wall side of the bed instead of the "aisle seat" side when she and Setsuna had lain in bed together. Yue rolled over onto her hands and knees and crawled over Setsuna in order to get off the bed and go to the bathroom. Yue paused for a few moments as she hovered over Setsuna and examined her sleeping friend's face. She felt that Setsuna looked much better with her hair down like this instead of her standard sidetail which, much like Yuuna's, secretly offended Yue's sense of balance. If Setsuna grew her hair out much longer, perhaps it would draw more attention to her feminine features.<p>

Some braids and ribbons might also help.

And a pair of sleigh bells would most assuredly work wonders.

Yue smiled as she remembered how she and Setsuna had innocently flirted shortly before going to sleep. Setsuna was undoubtedly still in a fragile state of mind from Konoka's new relationship with Haruna and Yue questioned the wisdom in flirting with someone so emotionally vulnerable. Since she was still unsure of how to proceed with her new feelings for Emily, Yue would need some time on her own to do some serious thinking and she looked forward to resolving both this mess and her own mess with Nodoka; the latter of which fell to her alone to solve.

After considering the embarrassing possibility that Setsuna might wake up while she was still hovering over her, Yue completed her climb over the bed and furtively stole away to the bathroom.

Shortly after Yue had shut the door, the sleeping Setsuna turned once more and placed her arm over to where Yue had been lying. Setsuna's hand slowly moved up and down along the indentation that Yue had left but there was no body to be found in its place. Setsuna's brow furrowed and her lips stretched and quivered as she began to cry in her sleep.

"_Kono-chaaan..." _she squeaked as she continued to reach for a person who wasn't there. A long high pitched squeal of sorrow slipped from Setsuna's mouth followed by a few more that were lower in volume. Mana remained sleeping and motionless in her top bunk, undisturbed by the sounds made underneath her mattress due to the earplug spell that Yue had cast earlier. Tears trickled across Setsuna's temples as she sniffled and whimpered at whatever distressing events were taking place in her dream. The tears subsided and Setsuna's expression softened as she gradually returned to a restful sleeping state.

Suddenly, Setsuna's brow twitched once. It did so again. Her cheek then twitched violently. Following a series of facial twitches, her eyes darted rapidly behind their lids in every direction. It wasn't long until her entire face was alive with movement as if they were twitching from a series of electric shocks. Each breath she took came to her more rapidly than the last. Her lips slowly peeled back to expose her teeth which she ground and gnashed and her brow had knit into a mountain range of muscles to complete a crazed scowl.

Setsuna's eyes opened. They were not the same eyes that she had closed earlier.

Having finished her business, Yue opened the door to the bathroom, passed through it and closed it behind her. She took a few steps to return to the bed and stopped as she was startled by an unsettling sight made even more so since the room was dimly lit. Setsuna had risen from the bed and stood robotically, as a wooden puppet might stand when lifted by its strings. She had summoned her wings which, while she stood motionless, flapped eerily; almost as if they were engaged in flight in their own slow motion universe. What disturbed Yue the most was that Setsuna's eyes were emitting a faint rosy glow. They were narrowed and looked like two dimly lit triangles of fury.

Yue approached Setsuna and was about to place a hand on her shoulder when she yelped softly as she sensed Setsuna's rage radiating from her like the blazing heat from the Nozawa Fire Festival bonfire. This emotional assault prompted Yue to step back out of the area of effect. It was a wretched unearthly feeling within the rage aura for she was inexplicably forced into feeling angry; angry at Nodoka, at Kotaro, at the dragon underneath Library Island; anything toward which she had harbored negative feelings in both the past and the present had returned and were magnified dozens of times over. She was even feeling some residual anger at Setsuna for doing this to her but it quickly faded. It was unlike anything Yue had ever felt before and as her anger subsided, she prayed that she would live to see the day when she would be able to forget this miserable experience.

"Se-Setsuna," said Yue. "What's happening to you?"

Setsuna neither answered nor acknowledged Yue. Instead, the swordswoman was preoccupied with something that was either lying on the floor by her feet or upon the kotatsu table in front of her. The room was too dimly lit for Yue to be able to tell for sure what it was that had attracted Setsuna's attention and she took a few cautious steps around Setsuna to get a better vantage point without encountering the dreadful aura of rage if possible. Setsuna reached for the kotatsu and picked up the item she had been studying.

Yue gasped as she recognized the shape of the item in Setsuna's hand.

It was Mana's loaded pistol.

Yue's heartbeat tripled instantly.

She reasoned that if Setsuna was not going to use the pistol to kill herself, she certainly meant to use it to kill **some**one and Haruna was at the top of the list of potential victims.

_Oh, please, dear God, no,_ thought Yue.

Setsuna wrapped her hand around the grip and slid her index finger into the trigger guard. Yue swallowed a lump past her throat. Even if she had a mountain of sea salt, an arsenal of weapons and brought all of her combat training into play, she doubted that it would have been enough to stop Setsuna now. Yue summoned what little courage she was able to generate on such short notice and spoke again.

"Setsuna, can you hear what I'm saying?" asked Yue nervously. "Whatever it is that you're thinking of doing with that gun... please reconsider it. Just put it down and let's talk about what you're feeling." Her words were jittery yet audible and Setsuna either chose to ignore her or didn't hear what she was saying. Was she even speaking to a Setsuna who could still comprehend Japanese? Would she be able to cast deflexio on herself in time to protect herself from a bullet if Setsuna was willing to shoot people indiscriminately?

Setsuna lowered her gun hand to her side and quickly turned to face Yue and studied the small girl wordlessly. The hairs on Yue's arms stood on end as she watched Setsuna repeatedly and rapidly shift the angles at which she held her head – for she recognized the movement as that of an actual crow; even Setsuna's blinking pattern was remarkably similar to that of a bird's. Had Setsuna lost herself to her demon half completely? A part of Yue which she believed she had outgrown resurfaced as she fought off the urge to cry out to her parents to run to her bedside and reassure her that she had just had a bad dream.

Air rushed into Setsuna's nostrils. Was she preparing to speak?

"_Go back to sleep, Yue,"_ whispered Setsuna in a voice as jittery as Yue's.

"So you _can_ hear me," said Yue. "Setsuna, I'm begging you; _please_ put the gun down. You're not yourself. Please let me help you."

"_Did you feel this just now, Yue?"_ asked Setsuna as she took a step toward Yue.

"I did," said Yue as she took another step back. "I didn't care for it much."

"_I'm not a fan of it, either. As a matter of fact, I hate it. You are fortunate in that you may step away from it," said Setsuna. "I do not have that luxury. I had a dream a moment ago. No, it was more like a vision. In it, I was greeted by my crow tribe ancestors who informed me that this is the true nature of a ka-a'kuruhk unfulfilled. I never would have guessed that my people had such a strong magical safeguard in place for such a seemingly innocent ritual. Oh, how I hate them for it. My own death notwithstanding, this can only correct itself in one of two ways and I have a strong preference for one over the other. As thanks for your kindness, I ask that you now go back to sleep, Yue. With my ill temper, I fear what I might do to you if you do not."_

Before Yue had a chance to ask what she meant or what a ka-a'kuruhk was, Setsuna turned to face the front door and began to walk toward it. Remembering her crisis management lessons back at Ariadne, Yue cycled through her options with the short amount of time she had left before Setsuna reached the door and started a bloodbath.

She could wake Mana and ask for her help but the odds were that Mana would not engage Setsuna in pro bono combat no matter who was in danger. Mentioning that Setsuna had stolen her pistol might have lit a fire under Mana but the sharpshooter wasn't in the habit of using nonlethal force to neutralize her targets and might seriously harm or even kill Setsuna, not to mention that the ensuing battle might cause serious structural damage to the building and draw attention from every mundane student in the nearby rooms.

There had to be a better option.

She could alert Negi by pactio telepathy. Negi definitely had more than enough raw power to subdue his wayward ministra but there was no way of knowing if he could intercept Setsuna in time. A continuous evocem te teleportation loop would detain Setsuna if she had her card on her person – but she did not - and if it came down to combat, Negi would be just as unlikely to handle the situation discreetly as Mana.

What else was left?

She could alert Haruna and Konoka to Setsuna's approach. While that might help, it didn't solve the immediate problem of the commotion that Setsuna might cause if she was spotted walking through the hallway with her wings extended and holding a firearm.

Setsuna had reached the front door when Yue made up her mind.

_There's nothing else for it,_ thought Yue. _I'll have to stop her myself... or die trying._

Summoning both her Ariadne Maiden Knight Armor and her magical sword, Yue began to calculate the most effective and silent method of attacking her friend without causing serious injury to either Setsuna or herself when a solution came to her.

She could use **that** spell.

_Of course!_ thought Yue.

Lacking the spare time to properly smack herself for not thinking of it sooner, she sent away her sword, placed her arms at her side, focused her magical energy and cast an unincanted spell.

_Please let this work,_ pleaded Yue to anyone who could hear her thoughts.

A swirling transparent sphere of soft light surrounded Yue's hands and she touched Setsuna on the back between her shoulder blades.

* * *

><p><em>Setsuna lurched forward as some unknown force struck her from behind and sent her two steps closer to the door. She placed her hand on the door to keep herself from walking into it and took a moment to inspect her body for damage. She found that she was unharmed by what must have been a spell cast by Yue to try and stop her. Turning to face her interloper, Setsuna focused her chi into her left hand and delivered a forehead flick to Yue's helmet. The impact was powerful enough to put a dent in Yue's helmet and Yue crumpled on the floor with a series of clanks. She was out cold.<em>

_Setsuna appreciated Yue's kindness and even in her enraged state of mind, she deemed her undeserving of the extreme justice which she planned to mete out upon Haruna. She would have liked to apologize to Yue for what she had to do but by the time Setsuna had achieved her goal tonight, she wouldn't be around long enough to apologize to anyone._

_She looked up at the top bunk. During their time as roommates, Mana had been cold and unfriendly toward Setsuna as well as just about everyone else in class except perhaps for Kaede and possibly Ku Fei. Mana had also sided with Chao during the Mahora Festival and assisted Ala Alba in the magical world only as far as fulfilling a contract and her own survival required her to do. It came down to Mana caring about Mana and no one else. As Setsuna dwelled on the matter further, she could honestly admit to herself that she hated Mana. If there was ever a time for Setsuna to thank Mana for all that she could have done but chose not to do, it was now. Setsuna climbed the first few rungs of the bunk bed ladder to look at her roommate. There was Mana; fast asleep and facing the wall._

"_Those who live by the gun..." said Setsuna as she pointed the barrel of the gun at the back of Mana's head. Preparing herself for a recoil of unknown strength, Setsuna pulled the trigger and the room lit up for a split second from the short burst of light as the weapon fired. Mana convulsed for a few seconds and then remained motionless. Setsuna flinched and quickly aimed the pistol at the ground where she heard an unfamiliar sound but relaxed when she discovered that it was only the sound of the used round's shell casing falling to the ground. The white wall behind Mana's head was now splattered with a wicked looking dark stain. The pistol made too much noise for Setsuna's taste and the grip was uncomfortably large for a teenager's hand and yet, now that she had used one, there was something undeniably satisfying about using it. Swords were an extension of a warrior's soul. This was an extension of her hatred of which she had plenty. She pulled Mana's shoulder toward her to reposition her dead classmate onto her back. Mana's corpse had a gaping dark mess where the right side of her face used to be and Setsuna was surprised by how unnerved she was by the gore. Setsuna justified her actions by convincing herself that it was Mana's own fault for carelessly leaving a loaded firearm out in the open after issuing a death threat to her own classmates._

_Setsuna spat in Mana's face callously._

"_I would have shot you in the heart, Tatsumiya-san," said Setsuna, "but as a novice, I lack your experience in shooting such a tiny target." Setsuna had done her share of archery and crossbow training at the Shinmei school so she was no stranger to ranged weapons. Setsuna placed the pistol inside the waistband of both her pajama bottoms and her panties. It was hot against her skin but not unbearably so and she only needed her hands free for a few seconds. Ripping open Mana's pajama top and holster bra, she found Yue's 2,000 yen note which she then tossed onto Yue's chest plate as she hopped off the ladder. Retrieving the pistol from her waistband, Setsuna grinned wickedly as she basked in the pleasure of her first kill with a gun. Never again would she be subjected to another one of Mana's damned Quentin Tarantino movie marathons on the big TV when she wanted to go to sleep._

_Setsuna opened the front door, folded her wings and strolled through the hall in a way that suggested that, regardless of her pink flannel PJs and exposed midriff, she ruled the school. She flapped her wings a few times and continued through the hallway, stretching them outward until the feathers of her left wing dragged along the wall as she walked. She was certain that students in nearby rooms were huddled in their bathrooms calling the police on their cell phones to report the gunfire. That suited Setsuna just fine; the authorities would never arrive in time to save Haruna and once the manga-ka was roasting in hell comparing entrance wounds with Mana, Setsuna would leave this place and never return. She didn't belong here and probably never did._

_A few curious students who weren't familiar with what a true gunshot sounded like opened their doors to see what they could learn by peering out into the hall. One girl who had particularly bad timing received a swat in the face by the tip of Setsuna's wing as she opened her door. Setsuna grinned at the girls that had spotted her._

"_What's wrong?" asked Setsuna playfully. "Haven't you ever seen a crow hanyō before?" The liberation she felt from not having to hide her true self was exhilarating. As long as she was leaving, she might as well flaunt her heritage to anyone and everyone. The onlookers and their tiny insignificant lives were of no importance to Setsuna - but their hushed whispers and comments amused her._

"_Is there a late night cosplay event?" asked one girl of her roommate._

"_No; don't you remember her? She's one of the hero characters from the Mars Invasion Mahora Festival event," said the roommate._

"_Oh. Hey, maybe there's going to be another bonus event like the Mars Invasion!"_

"_Crows have black wings," remarked one student._

_Setsuna stopped walking._

_She wasn't so amused by that girl's observation._

_Setsuna turned around and found the girl who said that and held her pistol under that girl's nose. She was about to tell the girl how lucky she was that the bullets which remained in her gun all had Saotome's name on them - when suddenly, the girl screamed, ran back inside her room and crashed straight through the window, falling two stories and almost certainly injuring herself seriously if not fatally. Setsuna wanted to reserve her newfound disregard for human life for Haruna but she couldn't help herself; she busted a gut laughing at the stupidest human being on the planet._

_She finally reached Konoka's room. Having never been very big on fanfare, she simply kicked the door in, turned on the light switch and boldly entered the room. There, beside Konoka, was the enemy lying in bed; the same bed in which Haruna stole her virtue through an act of stupidity. The scent of sex and sweat wafted through the air and Setsuna grew nauseous from the thought of water molecules from Haruna's fluids entering her nostrils._

_Haruna and Konoka quickly sat up and covered their bare breasts with their blankets as they verified through squinting eyes just who had broken into the room._

"_SECCHAN?!" shouted Konoka who was able to confirm the intruder's identity before the nearsighted Haruna._

"_Sakurazaki? OH FUCK!" exclaimed Haruna. The fear on both girls' faces was as obvious as Setsuna's intentions with the pistol she now held._

_Haruna desperately scrambled from the bed to reach for her glasses and pactio card on the nightstand but Setsuna swiftly took aim and fired at Haruna's right hand which exploded in a bloody mess that left that hand with only a thumb intact. Haruna screamed in agony as she fell out of the bed and rolled onto the floor, holding her splayed hand close to her body as she knelt beside the bed. Setsuna watched with gleeful fascination as blood raced down the trembling manga-ka's torso and thighs, forming a small yet growing puddle around her knees and shins. Haruna made no further attempts to reach for her possessions with her functional left hand. Setsuna wasn't sure if Haruna drew left handed or right handed but she would witness the manga-ka draw one thing before sunrise: her last breath._

_Konoka, who was also screaming as she witnessed the brutal attack upon her beloved, hurried to the kitchen counter where she had left her pactio card. Setsuna believed that Konoka sought to either summon Negi-sensei or use her artifact to heal her girlfriend's injury; the severity of which would require the artifact's power to heal completely rather than her own less powerful healing spells. Using her wings to give herself some forward thrust, Setsuna launched herself in front of the kitchen counter, spotted Konoka's card – along with her own cards, cell phone and keys - and snatched it off the counter with her left hand before Konoka had a chance to claim it. Konoka frantically made repeated efforts to grab her card back from Setsuna but the swordswoman was far too fast for her. Each time Konoka made an attempt to reach for it, Setsuna's hand would always move to a different location than where she first saw it. Setsuna wasn't even paying attention to Konoka; her gaze was set on Haruna in case she attempted to go for her card a second time. This game of keep-away seemed to anger the healing mage greatly as her lover's beautiful hand and life hung in the balance. Growling, Konoka reared back her right arm, made a fist and swung a haymaker at Setsuna, striking her homicidal friend in the cheek with all of her might. Setsuna turned with the blow and she placed her hands on the kitchen counter._

"_GIVE ME MY CARD, DAMN IT!" demanded Konoka. Judging by Konoka's proximity, Setsuna deduced that the rage aura which affected Yue was now affecting Konoka's mind. Chamo had accidentally kicked Setsuna in the face once; that kick dealt more damage than Konoka's parody of a punch. Simply put, it was the worst blow that Setsuna had ever felt or witnessed. She guessed by the way that Konoka cried out at the point of impact that she might have even injured her own fingers upon connecting with her fist. Setsuna didn't mind taking a hit but to be hit by a blow that was an affront to the art of pugilism was beyond embarrassing. The Shinmei school could host a countrywide annual convention to clinically examine footage of the punch and the multiple levels on which it failed. How could a child of Ala Rubra's Eishun Konoe at her age not know how to put her entire body into a punch? Or at least how to distribute the punch along her knuckles so as to avoid breaking her own fingers? Setsuna had learned these basic concepts at the age of six and had perfected them before she was seven._

_She gave Konoka a scowl of contempt as she flung the card over her head. Spinning like a frisbee, it sailed through the air, hit the far wall of the kitchen area and fell behind the refrigerator. Konoka cried as she witnessed the card's landing and she sprinted to the refrigerator where she tugged on the door handle with everything she had. It budged slightly but the kitchen was small and the kitchen counter prevented her from having anywhere left to move in order to drag the refrigerator out any farther. With no other handholds, all that was left to pull were the inner shelves and they come right out by design. She tried to think of a way to get to her card in the short amount of time that she had left before her artifact would be of no use to Haruna's injury._

_Haruna trembled as though she were in a meat locker. Her exhalations were partnered with a whimper as she dared to inspect the damage and regretted doing so instantly._

"_Nnngh... Damn, this fucking sucks ass," grunted Haruna. "I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of hearing me beg for my life, Sakurazaki. I don't have any delusions about you showing me any mercy... but please... please... don't harm Konoka. She's not to blame for any of this."_

"_Feckless defiler," spat Setsuna. "Hearing you speak her first name makes me ill... but hearing your request makes me laugh. I won't harm Konoka... but do not think that this is because you ask it of me."_

_Konoka quickly climbed on top of the stove and then scaled the refrigerator where she planted her back and arms against the wall and used her feet to tip the refrigerator. Konoka had never done anything like this before and she wasn't prepared for how this would work. The refrigerator tipped forward quickly, hitting the counter and laying against it at a 45 degree angle. Konoka screamed as she suddenly slid down the wall and landed tailbone first on the dustbunny-heavy kitchen floor. The landing caused her tremendous pain but she did her best to ignore it as she raked through the dustbunnies to find her card. It was nowhere to be found._

"_Konoka? Hey, Konoka's hurt!" said Haruna. "Go help her, Sakurazaki!"_

"_She's not going to die from a little household accident," said Setsuna as she maintained her gaze on Haruna. "She can heal her own minor injuries. I'm more interested in your injuries, Saotome. How's the hand?"_

"_Well, your shot took off four of my fingers," said Haruna. "If you wanted my fingers so badly, you should have just asked me, Sakurazaki; I'd have gladly __**given**__ you one."_

_Praying harder than she had ever prayed before, Konoka fought through the unbearable pain that shot up her spine that demanded that she not move and repositioned herself to where she was able to stand. She reached for her buttocks and as it turned out, she felt a card stuck to it. Grabbing it off with a yank and vaulting over the area where the tipped refrigerator laid beside the stove, Konoka spoke the magic word to activate her card as she staggered toward Haruna. Konoka shrieked as she collapsed; her spine was not happy with the vault and even less happy about how she landed. Reciting a basic spell to temporarily block out a portion of the pain, she whimpered as she estimated that she had less than six seconds left before time ran out._

_To her surprise, she was still nude; the card neither transformed into her artifact nor dressed her in her registered outfit._

_She repeated the word over and over but the card didn't respond. She flipped the card to its face side and she screamed in anguish when she saw what she now held in her hand._

_The card she had retrieved wasn't her Regina Medicans card. It was Gladiaria Alata, Setsuna's pactio card with Negi. Setsuna had somehow managed to switch cards after Konoka punched her and threw this one behind the refrigerator to trick her. It was certainly past the three minute mark now and Konoka had very little left in her tank. She fell on her hands and knees, wept and prayed for forgiveness since mercy seemed unlikely._

"_I never would have suspected that the mighty Setsuna Sakurazaki would be afraid of a fair fight," said Haruna. "Keeping me from getting my card isn't very sporting."_

"_Oh, well, you see," said Setsuna, "the thing is... I do not want to fight you, Saotome. I want to kill you." Konoka whimpered in protest which Setsuna decided to ignore. "Your artifact might prevent me from achieving my goal in a timely fashion... but as for a fair fight, even if you had a hundred artifacts, it would hardly make us evenly matched."_

"_Why would you use a handgun anyway?" asked Haruna. "I figured you'd use your sword or at least a longbow; something with a traditional Japanese flair to it."_

"_Yuunagi was not in my possession at the time that I found it necessary to kill you," replied Setsuna. "The gun was. It's not mine but I've taken a liking to it, noise and all. I procured it from Mana after I killed her. She wasn't in any condition to direct me to where she kept her Japanese-made firearms after that so I had to make do."_

"_You killed Mana?" asked Haruna._

"_I did," said Setsuna._

"_Holy shit," declared Haruna. "What did she ever do to you?"_

"_My reasons are my own," said Setsuna, "though they are not unlike my reasons for killing Yue and Nodoka."_

_The lie was told convincingly enough that Haruna believed it._

"_**OH MY GAH-HAWWWWD! YUEEE! NODOKAAAA!**__" shouted Haruna as she wailed with her mouth open. Trails of tears and mucus marked Haruna's face which was rosy pink with grief. There was no need for her to ask why Setsuna had killed her friends, for surely they were killed out of spite._

"_Oh, Secchan," cried Konoka. "You've lost your mind! They were my friends, too! And yours!"_

"_**AAAAAAAAAAA! FUCK YOU, SAKURAZAKI!"**__ yelled Haruna. __**"FUCK YOU, YOU MURDERING CUNT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR OBSESSIVE NEED FOR REVENGE, YOU FUCKING SHITSTAIN! YOU MOTHERLESS KFC REJECT!" **__Haruna temporarily sheathed her fury to mourn her friends. "Oh, Yue... oh, Nodoka... please forgive me."_

"_This isn't vengeance," stated Setsuna. "This is justice. I wouldn't expect you to be able to tell the difference."_

"_JUSTICE?" bellowed Haruna. "YOU CALL BLOWING MY HAND OFF BEFORE KILLING ME AND TERRIFYING THE SHIT OUT OF KONOKA JUSTICE? ALL RIGHT THEN; IF THIS IS JUSTICE, THEN WHERE'S MY LAWYER? AND WHERE'S THE JUDGE AND THE JURY OF MY PEERS? JUSTICE IS DECIDED BY A COURT OF LAW SO DON'T FUCKING HIDE BEHIND THAT BULLSHIT!"_

_Setsuna's chest swelled with indignation at Haruna's words. The muscles in her brow knotted together tightly as she scowled; so much so that she could have cracked a walnut had it been placed on her eyelid._

"_**A COURT OF LAW WHICH I WAS DENIIIIED!" **__screamed Setsuna.__** "A COURT OF LAW WHICH I WAS ASKED NOT TO SEEK OUT AS WAS MY RIGHT AS A VICTIM!" **__Hot tears ran down Setsuna's face as she uncorked her bottled up emotions and let the suds fly.__** "YOU TOOK FROM ME THAT WHICH I DID NOT GIVE AND THAT AMOUNTS TO THIEVERY IN MY EYES! I THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITH WHAT KONOKA ASKED OF ME BUT I WAS MISTAKEN! MY HATRED FOR YOU BURNS WITH SUCH INTENSITY THAT I CAN'T EVEN KEEP IT RESTRICTED TO MY OWN BODY!"**_ _Setsuna stepped closer to Haruna and watched as she fell victim to her aura of rage.__** "SO IF ANYONE HERE IS GUILTY OF HIDING BEHIND BULLSHIT, I NEEDN'T LOOK ANY FURTHER THAN YOU, SAOTOME! YOU REEK OF IT! YOU'RE MADE OF IT! ENEMY OF VIRTUE! BANE OF HONOR!**__"_

_Haruna seemed to want to stand up and attack Setsuna but she stayed put. Setsuna stepped away from Haruna, allowing her to recover from the psychic assault._

"_All... my fault..." muttered a weeping Konoka as she crawled toward Haruna and Setsuna. "...all my fault... Mana... Yue... Nodoka... all dead... because of my poor decisions..."_

_Haruna did not speak in her defense. She had turned pale from blood loss and appeared to be exhausted. She swallowed, closed her eyes and then began to wobble._

"_If... if you want a conscious target," said Haruna, "you'd better act quickly. I'm... going into shock."_

"_Thank you for the warning," said Setsuna._

"_Secchan, I'll do anything you want but plea-hease don't do iiiiiit," begged Konoka._

"_Not that you haven't already polluted this world a hundred times over with your fatuous platitudes, Saotome," said Setsuna, "but do you have any last words before I end you?" asked Setsuna as she took aim._

"_Yeah," said Haruna. "Konoka? I'll love you 'til the day I die."_

_As distraught as Konoka was, the oneliner allowed an awkward snicker to slip past her sobs._

_Angry with herself for failing to predict that Haruna would use this final moment to garner sympathy from Konoka with a verbal keepsake, Setsuna immediately fired the pistol at her most hated enemy._

_Haruna's head was thrown back violently as if an invisible fist punched her straight in the face. When her head returned to its original position, some of her facial features were either missing or concave and a copious amount of deep crimson blood gushed forth with the flow of a drinking fountain. The overall effect was as if Haruna had suddenly sprouted an alien's face. It was an unbelieveably gruesome spectacle to behold and even Setsuna was shaken by what she had just witnessed; shaken but not dissuaded._

"_Shermermer..." said the disfigured Haruna in slurred speech before lifelessly tipping forward and plunging face first into the carpet sludge._

_Konoka screamed louder and longer than Setsuna had thought possible from a human._

_Setsuna slowly walked closer to the manga-ka's body and screamed ferociously as she fired three more rounds into Haruna's head which burst and jolted sharply with each new entrance wound._

_It was done._

_The three dimensional contours of Haruna's skull were now little more than a distant memory. Setsuna felt the rage within her slowly begin to subside as she knew it would._

_The beautiful lively face that Konoka once loved to see, touch and kiss had been brutally converted into a grisly unidentifiable mass of shattered bone and ruptured flesh. Lengths of Haruna's long shiny hair were scattered all about the floor where chunks of scalp-covered skull had been sent by the first shot. Only about half of it was still black; the rest had been reddened by the seemingly impossible abundance of blood that had given birth to a widening crimson swamp in the carpet._

_Setsuna was so certain that seeing Haruna suffer and die would bring her happiness but it only doused her rage. She simply hadn't thought this far ahead._

"_You... killed her," bemoaned Konoka. She didn't have the stomach to look at her beloved's body so she hid her face in her hands and wept for both of them._

"_That is correct," said Setsuna._

"_Didn't you hear what she said at the end?" asked Konoka._

"_I did," said Setsuna. "It sounded like she said 'shermermer'."_

"_SHUT UP!" shouted Konoka. "SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME! AND I LOVED HER! AND YOU STILL KILLED HER IN COLD BLOOD! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? YOU GAVE ME YOUR WORD THAT YOU WOULDN'T HARM HER!"_

"_I know what I said and I don't care. A word of honor given to protect one as dishonorable as Saotome... I couldn't let that stand."_

"_I HATE YOU!" yelled Konoka. "YOU KILLED MY PARU-CHAN! AND YUE AND MANA AND NODOKA! WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL ME INSTEAD? I'M THE ONE WHO HURT YOU MOST! PARU DIDN'T DO A THING TO YOU THAT WASN'T ULTIMATELY MY FAULT! I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF FOUR OF MY CLASSMATES!"_

"_About that," said Setsuna. "I lied about killing Nodoka and Yue to increase Saotome's suffering. They still live."_

"_...and Mana?"_

"_Hm? Oh, no, I was telling the truth about Mana; she's quite dead."_

_Screaming, Konoka pounded on Setsuna repeatedly with closed fists as if she were a door. The pathetic strikes irritated Setsuna with every ineffective blow that Konoka landed. To have squandered the genetic and pugilistic advantages that came with being the daughter of __**the**__ Eishun Konoe was almost inexcusable. Setsuna felt that __**she**__ was surely better suited to have been Eishun Konoe's daughter than Konoka. _

"_I HATE YOU! MURDERER!" cried Konoka. "MANIAC! VILLAIN! PSYCHOPATH!"_

"_Have a care, Konoka," warned Setsuna as she felt her rage return to her. "You don't want to-"_

"_...ANIMAL!"_

"_Would you stop hitting me? And hold your tongue! Don't make me-"_

"_...MONSTER!"_

_Monster._

_It was a name that Setsuna had never wanted Konoka to call her by despite having earned the designation on this night. It hit a nerve deep enough in Setsuna to rekindle her rage._

"_ENOUGH!" yelled Setsuna._

_With a swat of Setsuna's wings, Konoka was knocked off her feet and landed on her injured tailbone. Her face told the story of how much it hurt but she bore the pain silently and shifted her weight onto her hip._

"_THAT'S STILL TWO PEOPLE DEAD BY YOUR HAND!" shouted Konoka. "I HOPE YOU GET LIFE IN PRISON!"_

"_Prison?" asked Setsuna. "Who said anything about going to prison? I'm leaving Mahora. Now that Saotome is gone and my survival is ensured, I was hoping you... would come with me."_

"_YOU MUST BE CRAZY TO THINK THAT I'D GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU! YOU'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE UNTIL MY GRANDPA HAS THE MAHORA AUTHORITIES TAKE YOU INTO CUSTODY!"_

"_I beg your pardon?" asked Setsuna. "Are you... actually... ordering me not to leave?"_

"_DAMNED STRAIGHT I AM!" yelled Konoka. "MY GRANDPA'S MAGICAL TEACHING STAFF ARE PROBABLY ALREADY ON THEIR WAY HERE FROM ALL THE NOISE THAT GUN MAKES! YOU'LL BE TRIED AND CONVICTED FOR MANA'S AND HARUNA'S MURDERS AND YOU'LL EITHER SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BEHIND BARS OR HANG LIKE THE BUTCHER SHOP CHICKEN THAT YOU ARE!"_

_Setsuna hated being referred to as a chicken for she was neither cowardly nor unable to fly._

"_**YOU WOULD HAVE ME TURN MYSELF IN AND SUBJECT MYSELF TO THE SCRUTINY OF A COURT OF LAW FOR COMMITING A CRIME?" **__yelled Setsuna.__** "SAOTOME COMMITED A CRIME AGAINST ME WHEN SHE STOLE MY VIRTUE! AND YOU ASKED FOR MY SILENCE SO THAT SHE COULDN'T BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HER ACTIONS! THAT'S A DOUBLE STANDARD! HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE A SECOND CLASS CITIZEN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU? HOW DARE YOU SHOW SUCH BLATANT DISRESPECT BY BUYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SELF-WORTH? I DEDICATED THE BETTER PART OF A DECADE TO HONING MY SKILLS SO THAT I COULD PROTECT YOU ADEQUATELY! EIGHT LONELY BACK-BREAKING, WILL-SAPPING, SOUL-DEVOURING YEARS AWAY FROM YOU! I WILLINGLY SACRIFICED HALF OF MY LIFE FOR YOU... HAAALF MY LIIIFE!... BECAUSE I BELIEVED IN MY HEART THAT YOU WERE WORTH IT! BECAUSE I BELIEVED THAT YOU CARED ABOUT ME AS MUCH AS I CARED ABOUT YOU! MAYBE EVEN LOVED ME AS MUCH AS...".**_

_There was no reason to say it. It was far too late._

"_...and yet," continued Setsuna, "in spite of all of our history, someone like Saotome courts you in one night and suddenly she means more to you than I do? You grant her amnesty just because she sucked your cunt a few times?"_

"_I do __**not**__ have a __**'cunt'**__," spat Konoka angrily._

_Setsuna grinned, looked back at Haruna's corpse and then returned her attention to Konoka. _

"_Heh, not anymore you don't," shot back Setsuna._

_Konoka got to her feet once more and slapped Setsuna across the face for the disrespectful comment. The slap was delivered far better than her punches were. It made Setsuna's inner child cry and her inner demon roar._

"_Thank you," said Setsuna. "That just made what I'm about to say even easier. In case you haven't guessed, I __**vehemently**__ refuse to obey your order, Konoka Konoe; this or any other order you may foolishly believe I feel obligated to obey unquestioningly. From this moment on, my life is my own and your safety is no longer any concern of mine. If your love for me has died with Saotome, then... mine... for you... has died as well. As I said, I shall now take my leave of you and Mahora Academy and I shan't return. Tell your father that I am not sorry for what I had to do here today. Once you've divulged all of the sordid details of this incident to him, he may even come to understand why I had to do it." Setsuna took one last look at her handiwork before turning to walk toward the doorway. "Have fun gathering and cremating the remains of The Late Paru-Sama. If you should be appointed another demihuman to protect you, try to remember that they are still a person. You might lose fewer girlfriends that way."_

_Setsuna held her nose up high as she walked past her former charge indignantly. She took a scrunchie from a small dish by the kotatsu and gathered her hair into her trademark sidetail._

"_Don't you dare take one step outside of this room, Sakurazaki," commanded Konoka in the least commanding voice Setsuna had ever heard. "Stay where you are... or so help me, I'll fucking kill you myself, you murdering schizoid bitch."_

_Setsuna stopped moving for a moment before completing the task of tying her sidetail. Without turning around, Setsuna addressed Konoka's threat._

"_I'm certain that you'll __**try**__, you pampered ungrateful trollop," spat Setsuna, "but I'm just as certain – if not more so – that you'll fail." Setsuna could scarcely believe that she had just called Konoka such insulting names._

_Setsuna defiantly took the last step needed to reach the door._

_With a high-pitched battle cry, Konoka charged toward Setsuna with all the speed and stealth of a lame camel calf. Setsuna rolled her eyes and wondered if there was any physical skill at which this girl was not tragically inept. The more Setsuna dwelled on Konoka's horrible combat skills, her horrible taste in girlfriends and her involvement in this horrible conspiracy, the less inclined she was to exempt her from taking her share of the responsibility._

_Feeling no emotion for Konoka save anger, Setsuna turned around and fired the pistol into Konoka's torso._

_Konoka clamped her eyes shut when the shot rang out. She fell forward and used her hands to lift her upper body off the ground. She touched her midsection with her right hand and looked at the blood that covered it. There was a pitter-patter sound coming from below her and she saw that it was a steady flow of blood that was pouring out of her belly. She looked at her bloodstained hand and then back at Setsuna. Shortly after making eye contact with Setsuna, Konoka collapsed and did not move.  
><em>

_Konoka had called it; Setsuna had become a monster— but as that monster's rage subsided, she came to her senses and had become a human who had figuratively cut off her nose to spite her face. Setsuna was no angrier at Konoka than she was prior to discovering that she had become Haruna's girlfriend and Setsuna wondered what she could have been thinking that caused her to use a weapon on her heart's desire._

"_Kono-chan? Kono-chan?! KONO-CHAN!"_

_Setsuna dropped the gun and sat by Konoka's side. She lifted Konoka's upper body to lie her injured friend in her lap. She slapped Konoka's face repeatedly to try to wake her. Konoka did not respond._

"_Oh, no," whimpered Setsuna. __"Oh, no... no, no, no..."_

_Setsuna leaned forward and bawled into Konoka's chest as she realized that her own life was worthless without Konoka in it._

"_HELLLLP!" cried Setsuna desperately as she turned her head to face the doorway. "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!"_

"_...Secchan..."_

_Setsuna looked down and saw that Konoka was alive. _

"_Kono-chan!" exclaimed Setsuna. "Oh, thank Kami-sama! Hang on, Kono-chan! I'll get you to a hospital! No, wait, use your artifact to-"_

"_No, Secchan... it's too late. The damage is too great. I'm too far gone for healing magic... and even farther past medical care."_

"_Oh, no... no, that can't be possible."_

"_But it is, Secchan," said Konoka. "I can tell. Mana's bullets are formidable. I'm... paralyzed from the waist down."_

"_OH! I'm so sorry, Kono-chan. So very sorry. I didn't want to shoot you, I swear it. I... love you."_

"_Don't be sorry, Secchan," said Konoka. "There's nothing to forgive. I don't have much time left... but I want to know... can you forgive me? I did something terrible to you first; something I never should have done."_

"_Of course I forgive you, Kono-chan. You couldn't have been responsible for your actions. You must have been bewitched by that harpy... or driven to temporary insanity by her incessant babbling."_

"_Yes, it must have been something like that," said Konoka. "I could never betray my best friend willingly. Will you grant me one final wish before I go, Secchan? It's... important to me."_

"_Of course; anything, Kono-chan."_

"_I want you to train me in the ways of Shinmeiryu."_

_Setsuna sputtered and burst out giggling at the ludicrous request. Her laughter quickly morphed into sobs because she knew that this would be one of the last times that her beloved Konoka would make her laugh as only she could. She held Konoka closely and forced her quivering lips to be still long enough to kiss Konoka's forehead._

"_I'm kidding, of course," said Konoka. "My real wish is to fly with you... one last time. Carry me into the sky as you did that one night in Kyoto... when you rescued me from Chigusa Amagasaki. It was the first time I got to see your beautiful wings... remember that?"_

"_How could I forget?" asked Setsuna with a smile. "My love for you grew tenfold on that night."_

"_Let's see the summer moon as best friends one last time before I... go to sleep."_

"_I'll do as you ask, Kono-chan."_

"_Secchan?"_

"_Yes, Kono-chan?"_

"_I may be running out of time but I'd still prefer not to be cold. Could you please put that jacket and skirt on me first, Secchan?"_

"_Yes, of course, Kono-chan. What was I thinking?"_

_Swiftly yet gently, Setsuna dressed Konoka, lifted her in her arms and ran all the way up to the maintenance roof entrance. The door was locked but a single chi-reinforced one-inch punch immediately took care of that problem. Summoning her wings and leaping off the roof of the dorm with Konoka held securely in her arms, Setsuna flew outward and upward into the night sky._

"_Higher, Secchan... I want an unobstructed view of the moon."_

"_This is as high as I dare to climb, The air will become too thin to breathe if I go much higher than this."_

"_There it is. Ah, the moon is so beautiful, Secchan... almost as beautiful as you."_

"_Thank you, Kono-chan... but I'm nowhere close to being as beautiful as you are."_

_Setsuna felt Konoka caress her face and she twitched when her beloved's hands slid behind the waistband of her pajamas and across her genitals._

"_Kono-chan?"_

"_Hush, Secchan."_

"_Kono-chan... you don't have to do this."_

"_I know," said Konoka, "but I want to; I've always wanted to. I owe you so much more than this... there';s so much left unsaid... but I'm afraid that this is all I have time left to do. Will you let me give you this one last gift of love?"_

"_If it your wish, Kono-chan, then I shall accept your gift," said Setsuna._

_Konoka pulled off Setsuna's pajama bottoms along with her panties and let them fall to the earth below._

_To feel the gentle touch of the girl she loved more than life itself was more than Setsuna could have wished for. She closed her eyes and proceeded to glide in circles for a while – she would hit nothing this far up and flapping her wings during this act would prove to be more difficult. Moments later, Setsuna cried out in bittersweet pleasure and Konoka's hand was drenched in the fluids of Setsuna's climax. Tears of joy flowed across the trails on Setsuna's face left by her tears of sadness. Konoka wrapped her arms around Setsuna and embraced her sweetly – but weakly._

"_Did you like that, Secchan?" asked Konoka._

"_Yes, Kono-chan, very much so," said Setsuna. "If I had to choose a word to describe it, I'd say it was... magical. Thank you, my one and only love."_

"_That makes me happy," said Konoka. "Look, Secchan, the stars are out. Do you see the stars?"_

"_Y-Yes, Kono-chan. They're lovely."_

"_She would call me her shining star, you know; Paru would."_

"_Oh," said Setsuna. "You are far lovelier than any star I've ever seen."_

"_I can hear her talking to me, you know; talking to me from heaven. Maybe it's because I'm so close to heaven up here in the sky that I can hear her... or it could be that I'm just delirious from blood loss. Paru wants me to relay a message to you, Secchan."_

"_Y-You don't say?"_

_Setsuna noticed something odd. Konoka's heartbeat should be slowing down but Setsuna felt that it was actually starting to speed up._

"_She's asking a question... no, actually, she's telling a riddle. She says... 'When does a live crow become a dead turkey?'"_

_Setsuna wasn't much for riddles and wasn't the least bit interested in this morbid one but she wanted to humor Konoka in her final moments._

"_I have no idea," replied Setsuna._

_Konoka closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath._

"_She says... 'IN THE FALL!'"_

_With eyes full of an emotion very familiar to Setsuna, Konoka slapped her hands against Setsuna's buttocks and rubbed them vigorously._

_Setsuna felt a gritty substance stuck to Konoka's palms and terror filled her heart as she prayed that she was wrong about what had just happened._

_She was not._

_It was then that Setsuna felt the familiar sensation of her wings shrinking and returning to her body followed by the unfamiliar sensation of her wings failing to appear as she called them forth._

"_Kono-chan…" said Setsuna with blank eyes._

"_I told you I'd kill you myself, Sakurazaki," said Konoka. "You underestimated me... just like I hoped you would."_

_The jacket, thought Setsuna._

"_I'm sorry that this is how it had to end," said Konoka. "You left me with no choice."_

_Konoka must have had a shaker of sea salt tucked away in her jacket's pocket. She used the pretense of sex to expose Setsuna's buttocks._

_As their forward motion was replaced by a diagonal angle and then a downward plunge, Setsuna screamed as if the devil himself was dragging her down to hell. Konoka had used her final moments to avenge Haruna using trickery and manipulation._

_Having done what she set out to do, Konoka slowly lost consciousness and faded away as though she were sleeping soundly. Her final facial expression was a pained smile and she floated away from Setsuna during their fall._

_When Setsuna was a child she was told the story of Icarus and was horrified by the idea of being without her wings when she needed them most; so much so that she would have nightmares about it and woke up crying. Now her worst childhood nightmare was reality and in a few moments, reality would come to an abrupt and very messy end. Her heart pounded ferociously in her chest and she voided her bladder and bowels as her terror had effectively removed her control over them. She was no longer the bold warrior of Ala Alba who defeated the dreaded Evangeline at the Mahora Budokai. She was a frightened little five year old crow hanyō who was about to die the way she secretly feared the most. She screamed over and over until she felt as if her vocal chords would hemhorrage before leaping out of her throat. All she could do before she reached the ground was scream, panic, weep and repent._

_Setsuna felt a stinging pain in her neck and found herself spinning rapidly. She was unable to scream or move her limbs as she attempted to do so several times upon noticing the appearance of two strange shapes beside her. By the time she had discovered that she could neither breathe nor feel her heart beat, she recognized one of the shapes as her own decapitated body._

"_**You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize!**__" gurgled a deep demonic voice that Setsuna did not recognize so much by its sound as its words. Something that felt like a hand grabbed her hair and stopped her from spinning._

_There, in her demon form, was the not-so-late Mana Tatsumiya._

_She had a bloodstained Yuunagi in one hand and Setsuna's hair in the other. Bandages were generously and hastily wrapped around Mana's head where her skull had fractured and a glowing glyph of healing served as a temporary frame for those broken bones. Her white hair was partially stained with blood and whipped upward in the wind. While her face was partially covered, Setsuna could see that the sharpshooter was most displeased and with good reason._

_Sheathing Yuunagi behind her back and drawing her retrieved pistol, Mana placed the barrel between Setsuna's eyes and fired at point blank range._

* * *

><p>Yue caught Setsuna as she collapsed and quickly removed the pistol from Setsuna's limp hand before it fell out. Setsuna looked around and tried to process why she was suddenly indoors and how her head had become reattached to her body. Looking up at Yue, she saw that there was no dent in her helmet. She looked at her bed and Mana was asleep in her top bunk and there were no bloodstains on the wall behind her.<p>

The bloodshed had all been an illusion. She had not killed anyone. She was alive and well as was the love of her life.

Setsuna hugged Yue tightly and bawled like an infant.


	12. Desu To Smoochy

_(There is a scene in this chapter where Setsuna and Yue drop their book bags. I don't have a way to express to the reader that they should keep their eye on the bags while the characters walk off "camera" and say their final lines but that is how I visualize the scene; with the shot fixed on the book bags. So I am going to cheat and say "Hey guys, when the book bags hit the floor, picture the 'camera' as being fixed on the bags and 'hear' their final lines of dialogue spoken after that as coming from 'off camera.'" It doesn't make a huge difference but it offers a smidgen of foreshadowing so be a dear and do that one thing for me, would you? There's a good reader.)_

Veteran members of the Mahora Library Exploration Club were granted special privileges. One of these privileges was after hours access to the library's staff lounges and study rooms via a special key. Yue seldom had need to visit Library Island in the early morning hours but this qualified as one of those times; she needed a place where she could speak with Setsuna without the risk of disturbing anyone else or, if it came down to it, revealing magic to mundane students. The dorm was simply not that place. Setsuna agreed with Yue since both of them were still freaked out by her earlier experience to even consider going back to sleep or be left alone before sunrise. A quick shower and change into their uniforms later, the two friends were ready to head for Library Island.

The fire exits of the dorm building were outfitted with electronic alarms that would sound when opened. Neither Yue nor Setsuna fancied the idea of tampering with the alarm – an act which was considered vandalism of school property – so it would be necessary to sneak out through the front door. Using an onmyōdō double to create a diversion, Setsuna lured the security guard away from the front desk long enough for Yue and her to slip past him. To cover their tracks, Yue cast a simple movement spell to point the surveillance cameras at the ceiling. With the path before them now clear, Yue and Setsuna scooted out the front door and slipped behind the hedges beside either side of the dorm entrance to hide. It was dark out and quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Once Setsuna verified that the coast was clear, Yue activated her card and sat on her broom which floated several feet off the ground. Setsuna, having left her vest in her book bag, tugged her shirt tails out and summoned her wings. Both girls nodded to one another and took to the air purposefully as they began their flight.

The trip to Library Island resulted in both their arrival and the birth of an unspoken wish of Yue's for wings of her own which would make for a more flattering means of transportation than a domestic engineering tool. Her Ariadne War Maiden cadet armor's wings didn't count for they only served as a glorified personal emergency hang glider in the event of broom failure at high altitudes. As Setsuna kept watch, Yue reached into her book bag for her keychain and began to rummage through it for the key she needed when she accidentally dropped it. With her quick reflexes, Setsuna noticed this and already had her hand held out to catch the keys where they were likely to land but was puzzled to find them hovering in mid-air. Smiling, Yue reclaimed the keychain and explained to Setsuna that she had placed an enchantment on it that kept it from falling all the way to the ground. Finding the correct key, Yue slid it into the lock, turned the knob and opened the door.

The lounge area had a vending machine that served café quality hot coffee of different styles – a machine to which Yue also had the key. Since sleep brought about Setsuna's rage and with the lounge being warm and quiet enough to easily doze off in, coffee was a necessity if they were planning on staying awake until Tuesday morning homeroom started. Yue opened the vending machine's door and every kind of coffee it offered was theirs for the ordering. Having left their book bags by their feet, the two girls sat at a lounge table and silently drank their coffee together. Setsuna was on her way to fetch a third cup while Yue hadn't even finished her first but she was determined to drink the swordswoman under the 'coffee' table.

Setsuna hadn't spoken more than a few words to Yue since they arrived at the library. Yue saw the numerous worry lines etched onto Setsuna's forehead and decided to let Setsuna speak when she was ready to do so. Setsuna stared blankly at a spot on the table as she nursed her coffee and refused to acknowledge her drowsiness until the caffeine worked its magic. Yue sat to her left and read a story from a single sheet of newspaper that had been left behind on the table by someone. It featured the same story which Yue's security guard friend Hidoshi was telling her about the other day – minus the sugarcoating. After reading it, Yue reconsidered her earlier fantasy about subduing this sexual deviant.

"What happened to me back in my room, Yue?" asked Setsuna.

"If you mean the anger thing, I don't know," said Yue. "I was hoping _you_ would tell me what that was."

"No, I know what _that_ was," said Setsuna. "I meant the other thing. The vision I experienced after you touched me."

"That was an unincanted illusion spell of my own design," said Yue. "It's called Prohibere Paenitet. It was my project for a magical theory application assignment I received while at Ariadne Academy. It isn't of Thunder In Heaven, Great Vigor caliber but it got me a passing grade. I'm sure that you can attest to how well it works."

"Pshyeah," said Setsuna as she opened her eyes widely for a moment.

"It's a forced dream illusion spell designed to show a person the worst possible outcome of a dangerous course of action they're too determined to take to be convinced to do otherwise," said Yue. "The conclusion which the subject usually reaches after experiencing this possible outcome is that a different course of action would be wiser to consider. Its only weaknesses are that the subject must be in an actual life-threatening situation – it wouldn't work on someone who's simply making a poor choice like, say, drinking milk past the expiration date, getting a tattoo or writing a fanfic featuring a pairing that no one supports – and that the caster must be either directly or indirectly in contact with the subject. I got to use the spell once before on Kotarō back in the magical world when our party had a chance encounter with Fate. We were all holding hands using Natsumi's Adiutor Solitarius and I was able to cast it through the link our hands formed and 'shock' him out of trying to take a shot at Fate which was a deviation from our plan. The pointy-haired punk doesn't even know that he owes me one for saving his hide and he's too dense to have even bothered asking any of us if we knew what happened to him. I plan on saving that revelation for a rainy day in case he gets on my nerves or heaven forbid, if _I_ ever end up owing _him_ one." Yue shuddered at that possibility. "Most importantly, the spell's effect takes place in the blink of an eye, meaning what might have seemed like an hour to you actually only took about a tenth of a second in real time."

"You must have been inspired to design such a spell to use on Negi-sensei to keep him out of trouble," said Setsuna.

"Subconsciously, maybe," said Yue. "At the time, I was still under the effects of Collet's amnesia spell so I didn't remember who Negi-sensei was."

"Ah, that's right," said Setsuna. "Memory loss sounds as if it would be a blessing to me now. What I saw in that illusion was so terrifying. No... in truth, _I_ was the one who was terrifying." Setsuna rested her elbows on the table far apart from one another and rested her face in her palms while covering her eyes. "I had become a monster consumed with rage. There was so much blood. I killed mercilessly... and in the end, I was shown no mercy." Setsuna took a moment to slowly run her fingers along her neck where the illusionary beheading blow of Mana's had landed. "It was all so real. You may be in your formative years magically speaking but I would say that you were already a credit to spellcrafting."

"Thanks. I just hope that the Ariadne magical patent office came through for me so that I can get a couple of drachma for my contribution should Prohibere Paenitet get published in any magic journals printed by the academy. Recognition for one's efforts is one thing but it doesn't hurt to have one's coffers filled for travel expenses."

"You mean for when you can afford to return to the Magical World?"

"Yes. Most of the money Prohibere Paenitet would earn the academy will go toward paying my back tuition but if it's a hit, the overflow goes into a private account set aside for the spell's crafter." Yue smiled at the thought of shopping for nice gifts for her Magical World friends at the various marketplaces and festivals. Her smile faded when she remembered that Setsuna was still in shock from her own Prohibere Paenitet experience. " I... uhhh..." Yue cast her eyes downward and twiddled her fingers as she formulated an appropriate apology. "I probably hit you with a little more juice than I needed to," admitted Yue. "I'm sorry that the effect was as traumatic as it appears to have been. I couldn't think of anything else that would have worked in the short time that I had to act and I wouldn't have had a second chance if I half-assed it."

"Please don't trouble yourself over that," said Setsuna. "While a small part of me is upset at you for the nightmare you crafted, a much larger part of me would like to thank you for the nightmare you prevented. You stopped me before I did something that I would have regretted. It would appear as though you've come to my rescue yet again. You've done me a far greater service than you realize, Yue... and you have my gratitude." Setsuna rose from her chair and hugged Yue's neck in appreciation. Yue smiled and briefly rubbed the arm that Setsuna had wrapped around her. Setsuna released Yue and made another trip to the opened coffee machine.

"Isn't that your fourth cup?" asked Yue.

"Yes, they're very good. I'll have to make excuses to come to Library Island more often." Setsuna stopped walking half way to the machine and turned around. Her smile was replaced by a look of embarrassment. "Oh! I'm sorry; are these not free? I assumed-"

"Oh, no, yeah, they're free," said Yue, as she waved off the notion. "I waaaas... just concerned about you going into class today all wired up and bouncing off the walls." The truth was that Yue would eventually have to record and pay for the number of coffees that she and Setsuna were enjoying but she decided not to burden Setsuna with such a trivial thing.

"You've had four _yourself_, you know," said Setsuna playfully. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle Baka Black." The machine had finished pouring Setsuna's coffee and she walked back to the table with care so as not to spill any of the precious beverage.

"Hey, I know _I_ can hold _my_ caffeine," said Yue with a smile. "And as for being Baka Black, at least _one_ of us can be associated with that particular color."

Setsuna smiled at the remark Yue made in regard to her white plumage. It was only good natured ribbing and Setsuna knew this.

"Ouch... I see Neko-san likes to scratch," said Setsuna. Yue responded by making a silly catlike face and raising one "paw" to strike a maneki-neko pose."And for your information, I **can **hold my caffeine." Setsuna took her seat beside Yue.

"Says the girl who picked up a gun and almost shot someone."

"_Ah, well... that's not exactly a fair point_," muttered a blushing, dot-eyed and pouting Setsuna as she tapped her index fingers together.

Okay," said Yue. "I told you what I know. Now it's your turn to tell me what you know."

"Ah, yes," said Setsuna. "The aura."

"Yes. When you were radiating that anger, you mentioned a word... Kaku-something?"

"Ka-a'kuruhk."

"Yeah, that's it; what is that?"

Setsuna's eyes grew wide at Yue's question.

"You mean... Konoka-Ojou-sama didn't tell you?" asked Setsuna.

"No, I didn't speak to Konoka yesterday," replied Yue. "I only ever spoke to Haruna and she didn't mention this ka-a'kuruhk to me. Is it bad?"

"If you don't know what _that_ means then... you must not be aware of the extent of what Saotome did to me."

Yue saw Setsuna's face marked with concern so she sat up and adopted a more serious demeanor.

"I know Haruna slept with Konoka and they're going steady now," said Yue. "I assumed that was what Haruna did to you. Was there something else?" Setsuna sighed and hesitated to respond. She was jittery and wished that she could have blamed it on the caffeine. Downing the remainder of her coffee in seconds, she placed the recently emptied cup next to the others. "Setsuna-"

"_Yes_... there was... something else," said Setsuna as she averted her eyes. "Please use your artifact to look up ka-a'kuruhk. That... should explain what she did to me."

"Okay, then," said Yue as she removed her Philosophastra Illustrans card from her bookbag. "Adeat." The card glowed and expanded into Orbis Sensualium Pictus and she summoned any and all magical pages with articles containing the search criteria.

"Here it is: ka-a'kuruhk," said Yue. "Pfft. Of course there's an apostrophe in it. Setsuna, is ka-a'kuruhk either a possessive or a contraction?"

"No, it's just a proper noun," answered Setsuna.

"I _knew_ it. Why are apostrophes always stuck in rōmaji dealing with magic or fantasy if the word isn't a possessive or a contraction? It's like they're inserted as a cheap ploy to make the reader think it's more cryptic, alien or exotic than it really is. So trite."

"But you're okay with the hyphen?" asked Setsuna half-joking.

"Yes, I... I like hyphens," said Yue softly as she closed her eyes and blushed. "Don't ask."

"I... wasn't going to," said Setsuna with a nervous smile and a sweat drop.

Yue continued to read the entry and her eyes grew wide as she read enough of the article to comprehend ka-a'kuruhk and what Haruna had done. Yue turned to face Setsuna whose head was bowed slightly and turned. The swordswoman's chest rose and fell.

"Setsuna," said Yue. "You mean to say that Haruna... with you?"

Setsuna repositioned her head to the left to face Yue and nodded twice.

"But why would she do such a thing?" asked Yue. "She loves Konoka... or at least that's what she told me... and so do you. How did this happen?"

"Your foolish friend _accidentally_ did... that... to me in the dark before sunrise yesterday morning as I laid in Konoka-Ojou-sama's bed." Yue alternated between looking at Setsuna and reading the entry. "Both of us mistakenly believed the other to be Konoka-Ojou-sama. Neither Saotome nor I had reason to believe that the other person would have been anyone else. As Konoka-Ojou-sama was my heart's desire, I accepted the gesture as ka-a'kuruhk. How could I not?"

Yue's mouth hung open as she looked at various spots on the table as if they held some answers for her.

"Uuuuuuuuugh. Haruna, you idiot, what the hell were you thinking?" Flabbergasted, Yue closed her eyes, deactivated her artifact, folded her arms across the table and rested her forehead atop her arms. It was the end of an era. She tried to imagine what life in Mahora would be like now that Haruna was going to get expelled and it made her sad. At the very least, Haruna would be in another school closer to her parents who missed her where she would be far from Mahora if Setsuna sought to do Haruna harm again. Yue lifted her head and laid her chin atop her forearms. "How soon did the headmaster say that she'd be taken in for questioning? I'd like to at least say goodbye to her."

"I would like to be able to say goodbye to Saotome myself," said Setsuna. "but unfortunately, that isn't going to happen... for I haven't spoken with the headmaster."

"Did you make an appointment to see him?" asked Yue as she looked at Setsuna. "You don't have to for serious matters, you know. You can just enter his office or talk to Shizuna-sensei."

Setsuna could tell that Yue was going to hit the ceiling when she heard what she was about to say – and not without good reason.

"At Saotome's suggestion," said Setsuna, "Konoka-Ojou-sama has asked that I... refrain from reporting this."

"_WHAT?!_" shouted Yue. The sound of Yue's shout tested the acoustics of the lounge and Yue decided to lower the volume of her voice.

"To report Saotome would get her expelled. Neither she nor Konoka-Ojou-sama want that to happen."

"Don't tell me that you haven't reported this just because Konoka asked you _not_ to!"

Setsuna averted her eyes and hung her head.

"Setsuna, she doesn't have the right to ask that of you!" declared Yue. "_No one does!_ Not even the headmaster's granddaughter has the right to-"

"You say that but she _has_ asked this of me," stated Setsuna grimly, "and I'm not at liberty to defy Konoka-Ojou-sama. Any request she makes that is within my power to grant is to be granted."

"Oh, my God... Set**su**na! No wonder you were as upset as you were when I found you. I had no idea. Not only were you violated by _my_ best friend but you've been betrayed by _your_ best friend. Come here."

Yue gave Setsuna a hug with only the slightest idea of how much Setsuna needed the comfort that it provided. Setsuna hugged Yue back and felt like crying again but if there was ever a time not to give in to negative emotions, it was now.

"Now you know why I grieve as I do," said Setsuna with a dry rattle to her voice. "Well, part of why I grieve."

"There's more?" asked Yue. "No, wait, save it for later. Come with me. We need to get you to the headmaster's office so you can report this to him immediately." Yue firmly grasped Setsuna's left hand and began to walk toward the exit but Setsuna remained in her seat and reclaimed her hand with a tug.

"Yue, I gave Konoka-Ojou-sama my word. I cannot break it... but... I must say that I'm a bit surprised that you would actually side with me against your friend Saotome when reporting her would mean her expulsion."

"Of course I would side with you," said Yue. She held up her index finger and closed her eyes as she recited a quote from Elie Weisel she had memorized. "_'We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.' _Are you surprised that I'd side with you over my best friend? Don't be."

"So you believe me? I could be lying to gain an ally."

"I've never known you to be a liar and I think I'm pretty good at telling when someone is lying to me... or at least I _used_ to be." Yue rolled her eyes as she remembered how her track record was marred by Nodoka's trickery. "The accidental sex sounds too much like something Haruna would do for it to be a lie... but for them to cover it up? Frankly, I'm shocked and dismayed at her; at both of them, really. Haruna made a mistake but everyone has to take responsibility for their mistakes when they're crimes – especially when they're crimes which leave someone a victim. She and Konoka made an even bigger mistake if they thought that I wouldn't find out about this revolting coverup. So no matter how much I might love them – and I do – they have got a shitload to answer for. And Setsuna, no matter what you might have promised Konoka, you have **every right in the world to report this.** You must know in your heart that I'm right. Do you have any idea how many sex crimes go unreported in this country? In this world? Countless girls and women have suffered in silence because of the shame and embarrassment that having their cases out in the open would have brought their families. And please forgive me if it's a touchy subject for you but you don't have that particular problem. Your situation isn't as cut and dried as the cases of those women but you were victimized, albeit accidentally. Please don't stay silent and remain a victim by choice."

"DO YOU THINK THAT I _WANT_ TO?" yelled Setsuna.

Yue closed her eyes and sighed softly. Her expression was solemn and, upon seeing it, Setsuna's anger subsided and was instantly replaced by regret. Here was someone who had gone out of her way to help a troublesome person – saying nothing that she wasn't already thinking – and she was showing her gratitude by yelling.

"I... I'm sorry, Yue," said Setsuna. "I didn't mean to raise my voice at you."

Yue slid her chair back, rose from it and began to walk away from the table.

"Yue? Please don't go," pleaded Setsuna. "I..."

Yue did not walk toward the exit as Setsuna had feared she might. Instead, Yue walked over to the coffee vending machine and Setsuna turned in her seat to watch her. Yue made two selections, returned to the table with two cups of coffee and placed the cup in her left hand on the table in front of the swordswoman. Setsuna looked at the cup and then back to Yue who was sipping from her own cup.

"What's this?" asked Setsuna.

"Decaf," said Yue with one eye open and a grin. "You're cut off from the hard stuff, missy. One more outburst like that and I'll take your car keys and call you a cab." Setsuna accepted the cup with a sheepish grin which in turn made Yue's grin blossom into a smile. "You're upset. I get that. Hell, _I'm_ upset _for_ you. I can appreciate what you're going through and I know that you don't mean to lash out at me. Don't worry; my feelings aren't made of glass. I won't leave you unless you tell me to butt out...and if you want me back, all you have to do is ask... but if I'm persistent to the point of rudeness, please understand that it's because I care about you and I want to help you. I don't want to see you carrying this scar forever. I'd hate for something like this to define you when you're entitled to justice and closure."

"Thank you," said Setsuna in a hushed tone. "Yue, with all due respect, I have no responsibility to those girls and women who have been sexually assaulted and did not speak up. Please believe me when I say that I feel for them as much as any girl would... but beyond that, I owe them nothing. However, I do owe the Konoe family _**everything.**_ The food that I eat, the bed in which I sleep, it's all thanks to them. My own family didn't want me so the Konoes are my family in spirit if not in name. My duty is to keep Konoka-Ojou-sama safe but in the event that I have the opportunity to keep all of the Konoes safe, that becomes my greater duty. The scandal of even the implication that a member of the Konoe family was complicit in my assault would bring great shame upon their name as well as Mahora Academy itself. And on a personal note, getting Saotome expelled would cause Konoka-Ojou-sama's heart a great deal of harm... and I doubt that she'd ever trust me again."

"_She'd_ ever trust _you_ again?!" scoffed Yue. Setsuna realized how silly that must have sounded to Yue and believed that it was because Yue simply didn't understand just how much Konoka's validation meant to her. Despite that belief, she didn't care for Yue's tone.

"Yue, I gave Konoka-Ojou-sama my word that I wouldn't report this," spat Setsuna, "so whether I like it or not... or whether _you_ like it or not... **the incident shall remain unreported.** And if you attempt to report this on my behalf or tell someone like Negi-sensei who may then attempt to report this on my behalf, then I must warn you that I won't be held responsible for my actions."

Setsuna's pointed words cut Yue to the quick. The small mage was hurt and somewhat angered by them.

"Setsuna, you'd...you'd threaten... _me?_" asked Yue, placing her open hand across her own chest in disbelief.

"No," said Setsuna. "You misunderstand me, Yue. _You_ are the one who is threatening _me_."

"Dwah?" blurted Yue in true circle-eyed Baka Ranger form.

"Consider the chain of events: if you or someone you told about this were to report Saotome to the headmaster, Saotome would be temporarily suspended pending an investigation and ultimately expelled. News of this would get back to Konoka-Ojou-sama almost immediately. My word to Konoka-Ojou-sama will have been broken since, by telling you, I would have indirectly allowed it to be reported. Breaking my word would be a serious breach of honor; one which would quite require that I... commit sepukku to correct."

"Ugh," said Yue.

"That's right," said Setsuna. "So despite what you believe to be in my best interests, I can assure you that reporting this on my behalf would quite literally be the death of me. I don't mind telling you that I dread the idea of sepukku, Yue; I doubt that I could go through with it. I want to live honorably. At least... for as long as my curse will allow me to live. If my mind dies, I would think that a physical death would just be a formality."

"This sounds like that other thing," said Yue. She didn't want to let up on convincing Setsuna to report Haruna but she did want to address the more immediate threat of the aura of rage that Setsuna radiated. Yue pointed a stern finger at Setsuna. "We'll table our previous topic... for now. So... a curse, huh? I'm not going to like this very much, am I?"

"No more than I do. As I told you, I experienced a vision in my dream. I was lucid... and what I learned was more like... recalling that which I had forgotten I already knew."

"What did you see?" asked Yue. "And please don't leave out any details."

Spooky stories have long held a cherished place in children's literature and since Setsuna's tale dealt with the supernatural which Yue knew to be real, Yue felt the delightful familiar tinglings of excitement which she used to feel when she was read a ghost story in primary school.

"I was lying flat on my back with my eyes closed in what felt like a field of grass," said Setsuna. "When I opened my eyes, I saw day turn into night and then back into day, over and over again within minutes of one another as the sun and the moon chased one another across the sky. When I looked at the sun, I could make out a three-legged crow within it-"

"YATAGARASU!" exclaimed Yue ecstatically.

"Oh... are you familiar with Yatagarasu?" said Setsuna. She had never seen Yue this peppy and was pleased on a personal level to discover that Yue possessed some knowledge of things relating to crows.

"Am **I** familiar with Yatagarasu?" asked Yue in disbelief of the ludicrousness of the question. "_Am __**I**__ familiar with Yatagarasu?! Are you kidding me? I'm a shrine enthusiast! I heart mythology and all things Shinto! How could I not be familiar with Yatagarasu the three-legged crow sent by the sun goddess Amaterasu to guide Emperor Jimmu to the Yamato Province? You... got to see Yatagarasu... with your own eyes?" _Yue made a pair of fists, brought them up to her shoulders and shook them from side to side as her eyes turned into a pair of greater-than/less-than signs._ "AHHHHH! I am SOOOO JEALOUS! You have NO IDEA! OH! OHHHHH!_"

Yue hopped and writhed about dramatically in an elaborate fit of envy. Setsuna's eyes shrunk to a pair of black dots. Whatever it was that Yue was supposed to be doing, Setsuna came to the conclusion that there was no way that she could be doing it well. When Yue was spent from the exorbitant movement, she plopped onto the floor with her eyes closed and her limbs spread out. Her chest rose and fell as she laid there and she opened her eyes to find Setsuna smirking and looming over her as she sat in her chair.

"Sorry," said Yue.

"Did you... need a cigarette?" asked Setsuna.

"No," said Yue as she huffed and puffed. "Why? Have you got one?"

Setsuna shook her head.

"Then no," said Yue. "I'll be with you... in a sec. Just let me... catch my breath."

"Oh, _you_ can hold _your_ caffeine _juuust_ fiiine," said Setsuna sarcastically. "Come to think of it, I believe that 'three-legged' has a hyphen in it."

"Setsuna, you _tease_, your timing needs improvement," said Yue. "You're supposed to talk dirty to me _before_ my geekgasm."

"Delightful. May I continue?"

"Oh, sure." Yue got to her feet and sat back in her chair.

"The clouds sped through the sky as though there were massive gales pushing them along," said Setsuna, "but there was no wind to be felt. Around me on the grass wer-"

"Nothing more about Yatagarasu?" interrupted Yue.

Setsuna's eyebrow twitched and she paused for a moment.

"No," said Setsuna. "Actually, I take that back. He spoke to me... and I distinctly remember hearing him mention _you_ by name, Yue." Sheets of tears ran down Yue's enormous glossy eyes and her jaw dropped as a smile claimed most of the surface area of her face. "That's right; I remember his exact words. He said: '_Sakurazaki-san, be advised that your classmate, Student Number Four Yue Ayase, is a major dork who interrupts people when they're speaking._' At first, I didn't believe him... but now, I can see that he had you pegged. Yatagarasu is most wise." Yue pouted at Setsuna's abridged version of Nodoka's duplicitous bait-and-switch. Despite having her feelings played with twice now, she was impressed that Setsuna was now comfortable enough with her to call her a dork and she grinned as she slumped back in her chair while Setsuna continued her story. "Around me on the grass were four crudely sculpted stone statues that were each as tall as I was. They were similar to the Easter Island statues but these were statues of crows... with only **two** legs... and somehow I knew that they represented the spirits of the elders of the crow tribe. One statue was before me, one behind me and the other two were on either side of me. I heard voices... but they were soundless. I sensed that it was some form of telepathy and I attempted to communicate with each of the statues telepathically but the messages I was receiving were not coming from them. This is going to sound strange but... I could tell that the voices were being transmitted... from within my own mind."

"Freaky," said Yue who was now hanging on Setsuna's every word.

"Indeed," said Setsuna. "The statues served as a catalyst which activated a memory: a specific crow tribe history lesson that lay dormant within my brain and would have continued to lay dormant had I either completed the ka-a'kuruhk or refrained from accepting it altogether."

Setsuna took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before taking a sip of her coffee. Her facial features shriveled in disapproval of the flavor as she put down her cup and pushed it away as if distance would somehow undo the flavor in her mouth.

"Bleah," said Setsuna. "_This_ is decaffeinated coffee? It's missing something."

Yue rapped on the table lightly with her palm three times.

"Don't stop now; it's getting good," urged Yue.

"You may find it interesting," said Setsuna, "but I can assure you that it is _far_ from 'good'. Please allow me to backtrack a bit. Yesterday afternoon, when I told Konoka-Ojou-sama that I accepted the... act she performed on me earlier that morning as her ka-a'kurukh for me, she began to cry. At first I believed that her tears were due to the guilt she felt about not having read the book of crow tribe traditions that I had lent her and that she was not ready to make a commitment at such an early stage in her life. I would later learn that her actual reason for crying was because I was about to discover that Saotome had intended to do that to her because they were now girlfriends and that it would... cause me _great pain..._"

Setsuna's voice began to break and she quickly tilted her head back to look up at the ceiling for a moment. Closing her eyes, she furrowed her brow and clasped her lips together tightly to keep them from quivering. Yue decided to wait patiently until Setsuna fended off her tears and resumed her story. "She... _was right._" Setsuna sniffled, swallowed, cleared her throat and swallowed again; all while keeping her head tilted back. With the exception of a few ragged breaths and sniffles, Setsuna remained silent as she fought to regain her composure. Yue had never personally witnessed such a struggle to keep from crying and it moved her to where her own eyes might begin to well up with tears of sympathy. Closing her eyes and facing forward, Setsuna took a few breaths before reopening her eyes and facing Yue. "_Sorry._"

"_It's okay_," whispered Yue as she gently placed her right hand over Setsuna's left hand which rested on the table and rubbed it to comfort her. Setsuna smiled weakly at the gesture and placed her right hand over Yue's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. She drew the knuckle of her right hand's forefinger past her eye to rub out a stubborn tear that nearly managed to make its way out. Yue withdrew her hand and sat back in her chair as Setsuna appeared to be better now. Setsuna folded her hands and rested them on the table.

"Before I learned that truth, I told Konoka-Ojou-sama that there was no time limit on my acceptance and that she and I could complete the ka-a'kuuruhk whenever she was ready to commit to me. From what I know now after the ancestral vision, I was mistaken; _gravely_ mistaken."

"How gravely?"

"Gravely enough. It goes without saying that demons are different from humans but it's more than just the obvious physical differences. There are also the social and cultural differences. Now, 'demons' and 'cultural' might sound like words which have no business being side by side in the same sentence but they do have their own ideologies, values, beliefs and morals... and regardless of whether or not they make sense to humans, their culture is as important to them as yours is to your people. That which means little or nothing to a human may mean everything to a demon."

"Could you please skip to the part about what happened to you earlier? We've only got about an hour before it's time to head to class."

"I'm getting to that. The rest of what I'm about to tell you is information that I learned not from the book of crow tribe traditions but from the vision. Ka-a'kuruhk is more than a simple traditional ceremony. It was a strict ethical code enforced by magic put into effect by the four wisest elders – the elders who led the first crow tribe out of the demon realm and into the skies of the old world disguised as mundane crows. From the shadows, these elders witnessed the wicked ways of mankind and took steps to keep my people in line lest they adopt the savage ways of humans and become no better than they were. N-No offense intended, of course."

"None taken. Go on."

"The sin of man which they found the most intolerable was fornication, mostly because it was simple enough to avoid: just 'keep it in your pants' or 'take a cold shower'. Simple, right? Genuine crows mate for life and the elders wanted the tribe to follow their example. In order to discourage the first generation of my tribe that lived in this world from indulging in copycat behavior, the elders cast an enchantment that was woven into my people's genetic code. It was a curse designed to punish the fornicators in the tribe. The curse was a success... for my people were so terrified of the consequences that crow tribe a single generation later couldn't even remember what the consequences were. We knew that by following ka-a'kuruhk, we could avoid these consequences altogether and so fornication was abandoned entirely. Can you imagine that? A society in which everyone universally obeyed a law."

"If only my species could learn to do the same."

"And now we come down to what the curse actually does. That painful emotional radiation we felt is a sort of biological alarm clock... or perhaps, more accurately, a biological fire alarm... to remind me that I have not yet reciprocated the ceremony with Saotome. In an ideal ka-a'kuruhk, the reciprocation of oral sex is immediate and both participants are bound in wedlock then and there. Mine was far from ideal; my mate was not the partner I had in mind. Not only did I fail to reciprocate the ceremony with Saotome, I will not do so under any circumstances. An unfulfilled ka-a'kuruhk forces my kind to either marry one's lover... or suffer the consequences. Imagine that your brain has settings like a sound system. You accidentally drop your ice cream cone and you experience a disappointment level of one. You lose a loved one and feel a sadness level of ten, with ten being the maximum level a human can feel. The curse I have incurred by failing to complete the ka-a'kuruhk has given me the equivalent of a degenerative brain disease. It will continue to cause me to suffer occasional emotional fits like the one we felt earlier. They will grow stronger and more frequent over time and their range will increase. Without completing my ka-a'kuruhk, my condition will degenerate to where dropping my ice cream cone will make me feel a disappointment level of twenty... hearing a favorite song will make me feel a happiness level of one hundred... not being able to find my cell phone will flood me with a frustration level of fifteen hundred... bumping into Konoka-Ojou-sama will make me feel a love... or grief level... of seventy thousand. Can you imagine what it must feel like to be forced to experience love... or any emotion, for that matter... _seventy thousand times stronger than normal?_"

"You'd go mad, I would think," observed Yue who quietly and anally also observed that if ten was the maximum level for a human, a level of seventy thousand would actually be feeling an emotion **seven thousand** times stronger than normal; not seventy thousand. No one ever liked it when Yue corrected them and she was sure that Setsuna would be no exception.

"Precisely," said Setsuna. "Their magnitude will be far greater than even a hanyō could reasonably be expected to withstand." The dread in Setsuna's voice matched the look on her face which was pallid and bleak. "Eventually, these fits will happen hourly or even more frequently and I'll go insane. The area that I affect will increase to such a degree that my presence will disrupt the daily operations of Mahora Academy. Students and teaching staff within 5 meters of me will feel what I feel during a fit. The headmaster will have no choice but to confine me to a mental institution for the magically inclined where I'll be locked away in an enchanted padded room around the clock, drooling on my straitjacket and waiting for an orderly to change my soiled diaper three times a day."

Yue thought that a visit to a urologist may be a good idea. If the average teen only went to the bathroom three times a day, Yue may have cause for concern.

"Perhaps," continued Setsuna, "someone... whether it be someone in charge of this institution or the headmaster or even Eishun Konoe... will see it as a greater kindness to just euthanize me," said Setsuna. "Why not, right? I was thrown away by my parents. I was thrown away by Konoka-Ojou-sama. What's one more discarding? At least three is a lucky number." Setsuna's eyes narrowed as she frowned. "When I awoke from this vision, I was **so angry** about my predicament that I wanted to... end the one who was the cause of it." She looked at Yue warmly. "Your spell helped me to see that giving in to my rage would only lead to sadness and bloodshed. I've always been at odds with myself but until a little while ago, I've never been afraid of myself."

"What I don't understand is why the elders would create a curse that's just as likely to get one of your people killed as it would be to get them to complete their ka-a'kuruhk," said Yue. "It seems counterproductive."

Setsuna shrugged, shook her head and threw her arms up in disgust.

"I don't pretend to understand the mindset of my elders from who knows how many centuries ago. I can only guess that they felt that fear was an excellent motivator; it always has been. Either they wanted my people to fear the consequences enough to refrain from fornicating altogether – thus ensuring the purity and moral fiber of our species for the ages – or they wanted to cull the weak-willed from those of us strong enough to resist temptation."

"This breakdown isn't also going to happen to Haruna, is it?" asked Yue. "Since she was the one to... _you_ know."

Setsuna shook her head.

"If there was any justice in this world," answered Setsuna, "she would be similarly afflicted... but no; only those with crow tribe blood generate these effects but members of any species that are near me will be subjected to what I feel when a fit overtakes me," said Setsuna who almost took another sip of the decaffeinated coffee out of habit. "Oh... and I might as well share something else with you that I discovered. At long last, I know the reason why my white wings are considered taboo. They're a sign to warn others that I am of mixed heritage and am unable to produce offspring with them."

"Oh, Setsuna," said Yue sympathetically. "Does that mean you... don't get... visits from Aunt Rose?"

Setsuna raised an eyebrow and appeared to be puzzled by the term.

"_Who_?" said Setsuna.

"No, Aunt Rose isn't a _who_," said Yue. "I meant... do you not... menstruate?"

"Oh," said Setsuna. "Yes, I do. I only meant that, as a hybrid, it is extremely unlikely that I am able to produce _crow tribe_ offspring with a male of my species. I have no idea if I'm able to carry a human fetus to term but as you might imagine, I'm not in the market for either of those things, anyway. Why did you ask if I get visits from 'Aunt Rose' instead of asking if I menstruate?"

"It's just a more polite expression than using the word 'menstruation'."

"I didn't realize that menstruation was considered a rude word."

"It isn't, clinically speaking."

"I've never heard of that expression before."

"Really? Konoka uses it all the time."

"Does she? Huh. I suppose the subject never came up in our conversations. Why the 'aunt' part?"

"Family members visit regularly. An aunt would be a regular female visitor and menstruation is a females-only visitor."

"Oh, I see. And why the name Rose?"

"Named after the flower. Roses are red: _Blood_ red."

"But... roses come in a variety of col-."

"Okay... Setsuna?" said Yue with a grin and a vein bulging on her forehead. "**I don't know exactly how it originated.** The 'Aunt Rose' expression is just like air, money and toilets: I didn't invent them. I just use them."

"It sounds as if Aunt Rose is currently visiting _you_," said Setsuna with a smirk.

"Very funny," said Yue. "Now let's get down to business. How do we cure you of this curse?"

"We don't."

"What do you mean 'we don't'?"

"There are only three ways to undo a ka-a'kuruhk, Yue," said Setsuna, holding up a finger for each solution as she stated them. "Saotome's death… reciprocating Saotome's ka-a'kuruhk… and, naturally, my own death. I am... not permitted to kill Saotome and she's the perfect picture of health so a sudden death by disease doesn't seem likely. Unless Saotome harms Konoka-Ojou-sama first, I cannot harm her... and **nothing** could make me willingly reciprocate the ka-a'kuruhk to complete it and wed Saotome... so we do nothing. All that remains is to wait for my eventual decline and fall. It's been decided."

"What's wrong with you? **Nothing** has been decided yet! We're talking about your life!"

"**We are not**-" said Setsuna sternly. She caught herself before giving in to another mood swing and silently counted to ten. Having calmed down sufficiently, Setsuna continued her thought. "We are not talking about my life. We are only talking about my continued existence. Konoka-Ojou-sama **was** my life."

"Oh, _please_," said Yue.

"Don't you see, Yue? I'm not like you or the other girls in our class. There are no 'other fish in the sea' for me. I swore to Konoka-Ojou-sama that I would do whatever it took to learn the skills I would need to protect her and I do not regret my decision even now." Setsuna opened her mouth to speak and then closed it as she looked at the table and fiddled with her fingernails. "The Shinmei school... wasn't exactly a free-spirited yoga class. It was rigid, structured and far from an ideal environment for a child."

Yue listened carefully to Setsuna. This was the opening up about her childhood which Setsuna was hesitant to share. Apart from Konoka, Asuna and possibly Nodoka, she may be the only other person at Mahora allowed this intimate a look at what made her what she was.

"Instructions were to be followed to the letter and rules were to be obeyed at all times," continued Setsuna. "I wasn't always treated with a great deal of kindness in those days. I think it was because my instructors were hoping to break my spirit... and to see if I had the mental toughness and dedication to do what was required of me to advance in my lessons. My instructors were told not to go easy on me and believe me, they did as they were told. There were many times when I had to hide to shed my tears in order to make it from one day to the next. I could have quit my training at any time and live my life as a carefree ordinary girl... well, at least as ordinary a life as a hanyō can have living among humans trained to exorcise demons... but doing so would have been an admission of inadequacy which meant that some other Shinmei graduate would be appointed the duty of protecting Konoka-Ojou-sama. I couldn't allow that; I had to be her bodyguard. No one else graduating with my class would have appreciated that responsibility as much as I. With the image of Konoka-Ojou-sama's sweet smiling face burned into my memory, I hardened my heart. I convinced myself that tears and emotions would only get in the way of the task at hand. Graduation became my all-encompassing goal. Nothing else mattered; not playing with dolls, not manga, not TV, music, video games or even the internet. They were distractions, one and all – and I refused to be distracted from my training. My devotion to learn as much as I could about Shinmeiryu caught the attention of Tōko-sensei as well as some of the other instructors. She took a liking to me and brought me under her wing because she could see that I had potential. I worked harder than ever to make sure that I was remained worthy of the praise she gave me. I would even practice my sword techniques in secret during the precious few breaks the students were given. My determination served me well and eight years later, I graduated from the Shinmei school and Yuunagi was placed in my hands by Eishun Konoe himself. I allowed myself a moment of pride on that day but that moment was short-lived. I was informed that Konoka-Ojou-sama had been transferred to Mahora Academy and, as her new bodyguard, I would be transferred there as well. I welcomed the opportunity to protect Konoka-Ojou-sama yet my skills as a swordswoman did not come without a cost. I had become so driven in my quest to master the way of the sword that I had no idea how to relate to mundane teenage boys and girls. I knew enough to be polite to others but apart from that, I was oblivious to modern day Japanese culture and recreational activities. I was as intimidated as when I took my first lesson at the Shinmei school, if not more so. I was perceived as cold and distant by other girls... even stuck up. I was a misfit. Without the Shinmei school's familiar structure, I was afraid of losing in 24 hours what I had toiled for eight years to gain. Fortunately, Tōko-sensei was now teaching mundane academic subjects at Mahora so I could speak to her from time to time if I had any problems adjusting. I could only do the things I did best when I would work alongside Tatsumiya-san when the headmaster needed something done which required our specific skill sets. I was even given a room with Tatsumiya-san who was also a hanyō so I didn't have to be cautious about concealing my wings in her presence. But ultimately, it was Konoka-Ojou-sama who came to my rescue by curing me of my cultural ignorance. It was after our trip to Kyoto. When I began to protect her openly instead of from the shadows, she sensed that I felt out of place among the other girls and she slowly introduced me to everything that I had missed, culturally speaking. Asuna helped me to some degree as well but having Konoka-Ojou-sama as my teacher was wonderful. It was the exact opposite of the Shinmei school. She was patient, kind and never moved too quickly for me to catch on. She played her favorite kind of music for me. She showed me how to order food from McDonald's. She taught me how to play and enjoy video games, how to shop for cute outfits that suited me... and how to download uncensored hardcore lesbian porn videos to my laptop."

"She WHAT?!" blurted Yue.

"Only kidding," said Setsuna with a soft smile. "I was just checking to see if you were still paying attention."

"Of _course_ I'm still paying attention!" shouted Yue whose face had turned bright red.

"In the end, she helped to make me a little less abnormal so that I could fit in with the rest of the class. So, please, Yue... do not dismiss what I say when I tell you that Konoka-Ojou-sama was my life. The world introduced me to her and she in turn introduced me to the world. She will always come first and my devotion to her is absolute."

"Even if her devotion to you is askew?"

"Yes. As much as it pains me to say it, she isn't required to care about me."

"How can you put her well-being before your own?"

"It is the very definition of what a bodyguard does, Yue."

"How much good do you think you can be as a bodyguard when you're a vegetable?"

"None at all, I'm sure. When I can no longer protect Konoka-Ojou-sama, I will be replaced. I've already been replaced... in a manner of speaking."

Yue frowned. It annoyed her when people had an answer for everything.

"I suppose you also don't want me to tell Konoka about your countdown clock to madness."

"If it's all the same to you, I would like to tell her myself at a time of my choosing... but no, telling her about my condition is not the same as reporting Saotome. I haven't sworn to remain silent about that. I may want Konoka-Ojou-sama to break up with Saotome but not if she feels obligated to be by my side. I want her feelings to be given earnestly, not out of a sense of guilt or pity."

"Wait a second... we haven't even spoken to Eva-san! With her centuries of experience with magic, she's bound to have a solution."

"Eva-san has no reason to help me and every reason to report the assault: she is evil – and before you say anything, yes, she would find out about the assault somehow. If Eva-san knew that she could reduce the number of annoying classmates in her class by two just by opening her mouth, she'd do so in a heartbeat. Besides, I've a feeling that her solution to my problem would be to turn me into a vampire... and eternal life has no appeal for me if I cannot spend it by Konoka-Ojou-sama's side."

Yue found Setsuna's statement incredibly romantic and it made her swoon ever so slightly.

"So am I supposed to just sit around waiting for you to fade away and be put down like an unwanted dog? You voluntarily go through hell and back to learn how to save Konoka's life but you won't move a muscle to save your own? You deserve better than that and I refuse to accept that there isn't some kind of loophole in this stupid curse. Adeat!" Yue reopened her artifact and resumed reading the pages bookmarked from her last search. "You'll forgive me if I don't adopt your defeatist attitude. I can't break your curse if I don't have the will to try."

"Yue, all who are born must die. If I am fated to die sooner rather than later, then I want to go with my honor intact. I will have served the Konoe family to the best of my abilities and there is no shame in dying with honor. It is what every warrior in service to another hopes for and, given my limited time, it is all that I have left within my power to achieve. It may not seem like much to you but it is as silver of a lining as I am able to find on this dark cloud."

"Geez, you're as stubborn as a mule."

"I would not be who and what I am were I not."

Yue harrumphed as she turned her head and folded her arms indignantly. Her eyes lit up slyly as a thought occurred to her.

"All right," said Yue, "how about this? What if I were to get Konoka to break up with Haruna? You did say that was also something you wanted, didn't you?"

Setsuna's eyes opened widely as her gaze locked onto Yue's eyes.

"You could accomplish that? Without reporting the sexual assault?"

"To be honest, I don't know. I've never orchestrated a breakup before and it feels weird to break up two friends... but your quality of life is at stake and it's certainly worth a try. I'd have to do it delicately so that she'll still be my friend when it's all over. If I were to succeed and get you and Konoka back together the way you were before this whole mess started... would your life then be valuable enough to consider investigating alternatives to letting madness overtake you?"

"_Oh, yes_," said Setsuna softly as tears began to form in her eyes. "_A thousand times yes_."

"Then I'll do what I can. The only promise I can make is that I'll give it my all. How much time do you have left before the symptoms get really bad?"

"I'm not certain," said Setsuna. "It could take months before the-"

Setsuna flinched slightly and sat up straight. She rose from her chair and shot Yue a look of concern.

"Yue, someone's here."

"Seriously?"

"Do I sound as if I'm joking?" said Setsuna.

Setsuna took a few steps away from the table toward the door to the lobby which was two meters away. The only other door the lounge had was a one-way fire exit so the lobby door was the likeliest means of entrance available to their visitor. Yue rose from her chair and stood beside Setsuna and her imagination got the better of her.

"It could be Takashi the molester on the run from the police," said Yue, "I don't even want to tell you what I read about what he does to girls with long hair... or it could be an army of undead crow tribe here to devour us as punishment for sharing the secrets of your species with a human."

"Undead crow tribe? That's silly," said Setsuna. "Now stop speculating as to who our visitor may be. You're just making me nerv-... you're making yourself nervous with that kind of talk." Setsuna assumed her barehanded fighting stance and felt naked without Yuunagi, especially since she disliked the idea of having to touch a reanimated corpse with her bare fists.

"Or it could be the spirits of the crow tribe elders that have come here to eliminate the people of Japan for being no-good fornicators... starting with you."

"That's even sillier," said Setsuna, "and I am no fornicator."

"You say that but you have the curse... that means you've already been labeled as a fornicator by default."

"Th-That can't be," said Setsuna. "One mistake couldn't label me as a fornicator... could it? No, that's silly... b-but if you're right, I'll make them wish they never came up with this stupid curse." Yue's heart pounded in her chest and she summoned her armor and sword to prepare herself for battle – hopefully against vengeful elders. Zombies creeped her right the hell out.

"Do you think it might just be a Mahora security guard?" asked Setsuna.

"I sincerely doubt it," said Yue. "I happen to know that Mahora security guards don't show up in the library this early in the morning. Just like maintenance staff, they can only enter the building if accompanied by library staff during regular hours of operation and those don't begin until 08:00. How many of them are there?"

"Only one as far as I can tell," said Setsuna as her gaze remained fixed upon the door to the library's lobby. "But I know that they're getting closer because I can also sense that they're not a mundane." Setsuna held her hand out to Yue and flexed her fingers. "Hand me your sword."

"No way," said Yue as she also kept her gaze fixed on the door. "Why should _I_ give you _my_ sword? Because I'm shorter than you? Little Yue shouldn't have such a big weapon just because she's denied admittance on certain amusement park rides for failing to meet the minimum height requirements?"

"Yue, this has nothing to do with height. I graduated from the Shinmei school, remember? That school that's kind of a big deal? If this person approaching us is a dangerous enemy... like Tsukuyomi, for example... don't you think I'm a _little_ better qualified for armed combat than you are?"

"_I_ don't care if you graduated from a school of horse mackerel; it doesn't give you the right to take people's weapons whenever you please. If you want a sword so badly, use your artifact."

"You _know_ that I don't _have_ my cards _with_ me!" squawked Setsuna as a pair of V-tears burst forth from the outer corners of her eyes. "Why don't **you** use your spells – _your_ forté – and lend me your sword _temporarily_ and leave the armed combat – _my_ forté – to **me**? My strongest attacks involve channeling my chi into a handheld object and if that object was already designed to be a melee weapon i.e. a sword, it would be helpful."

"Helpful but not required, right? You improvised once before with a deck broom so improvise now! Use a chair."

Setsuna turned to face the petulant Yue.

"A _chair_?" scoffed Setsuna. "Who do you think I am? Jackie Chan? Now give me your sword! I'll protect us both." Sensing that their visitor was getting closer, Setsuna grabbed the hilt of Yue's sword and tried to wrench it away from her. Unbeknownst to Setsuna, Ariadne weaponry was enchanted along with the weapon's wielder. The enchantment prevented cadets from being carelessly disarmed, having their weapon confiscated or dropping the weapon. Unless the weapon becomes badly damaged, the enchantment is broken, the wielder is knocked unconscious or the wielder would become injured by the disarming, Ariadne swords do not leave their wielder's grasp unless they wish it so. While Setsuna succeeded in claiming the weapon, she failed to pry it loose from Yue's grasp. Yue was still hanging onto the hilt with her feet comically swinging a few centimeters above the floor.

More than a little annoyed at her friend's pompous attitude and sense of entitlement, Yue was just about to give the swordswoman a piece of her mind when she saw that Setsuna's eyes were starting to glow. Yue reasoned that the abundance of caffeine in Setsuna's bloodstream must have triggered her curse which was causing both of them to experience heightened edginess and agitation – emotions which could easily lead to rage.

_What was I thinking letting her have so much coffee?_ thought Yue. _I might as well have given her crystal meth._

"Setsuna!" cried Yue. "Your eyes are glowing! It's the curse again! Snap out of it!" Yue lifted her legs, released her sword and quickly delivered a dropkick to Setsuna's chest as a springboard maneuver to perform a backflip which allowed her to land on her feet. Ariadne combat training had taught Yue the very useful skill of catlanding: the assessment in a combat situation needed to regain one's footing or balance as quickly as possible. Dropping the weapon, Setsuna staggered backward from the blow and placed her hand on her chest.

"Eh?" said Setsuna. "Oh!" Closing her eyes, Setsuna quickly entered a state of meditation to achieve a state of inner calm. She felt the meditation slowly begin to work but she became concerned for the eventuality of this not being enough for future outbreaks.

"Yue-yue?" said a soft voice.

Yue recognized the owner of that voice before Setsuna did. Both girls turned around and confirmed that the voice belonged to Nodoka Miyazaki.

"Oh. It's _**you.**_" grumbled Yue as she frowned. "Relax, Setsuna. Our visitor is just a friend... in _theory_, anyway." Yue dismissed her armor as well as her sword and approached Nodoka.

"Good morning, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna with a polite bow. Nodoka made no mention of Setsuna's eyes which led Setsuna to believe that her fit was now neutralized.

"Ah, g-good morning, Setsuna-san," said Nodoka as she bowed back.

"How did you know where to find me?" asked Yue. "Did you follow us here?"

"No, I came here on the super early train and I didn't see you or Setsuna at the platform so I'm guessing you must have flown here." Yue did not answer. She continued to stare down Nodoka. "Anyway, I didn't know that you'd be here but since you never came back to our room, I thought it would be worth a shot. Also, I was... really in the mood for a latte from the lounge's coffee vending machine." Nodoka held up her keychain with her own copy of the key to the machine.

"Nodoka-san, I just tried this machine's latte for the first time today!" said Setsuna.

"It's good, isn't it?" asked Nodoka.

"It is! It's every bit as good as coffee served in a cafe. How's the espresso? I haven't had that one."

"Good. They're all good, really. Oh, wait, I take that back; the decaf drip coffee isn't so good. It's missing something."

"_Ah! That's exactly what I said!_" said Setsuna with a smile. "Yue, was I not just saying that very-"

"_Will you two stop talking about the coffee?_" shouted Yue as she flailed her arms. Nodoka jumped from the shouting and remembered what had brought her out here in the first place.

"You'll have to forgive her, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna. "She's had four cups."

"Is there anything specific that you wanted to say to me, Nodoka?" asked Yue pointedly.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday, Yue," said Nodoka. "I was stupid and I felt awful about what I did. Please forgive me."

"You deceived me, Nodoka," said Yue as she paced back and forth in front of Nodoka. "You strung me along for the sake of your own entertainment. You're supposed to be my friend. I hold you to a higher standard than the average girl and you pull a stunt like that. Why would you _do_ such a thing?"

Setsuna watched with great interest as the two friends exchanged words. She would never have guessed that a girl as mild as Nodoka would even think about doing something to upset anyone, much less to one of her best friends.

"I don't know what got into me," said Nodoka with a whimper. "I just got the idea in my head and I couldn't help myself. I guess... the devil made me do it?"

"Well, the devil's not here to defend himself so that leaves you to take the heat. Do you accept responsibility for your actions?"

"Yes. I know what I did was wrong and I'm truly sorry. It'll never happen again."

"You think that's good enough? I believed you before and look where it got me. Tell me why I should believe you now."

Nodoka appeared to be both astonished and offended by Yue's words. It might have been Nodoka's imagination but Yue seemed a bit different to her somehow.

Setsuna would have killed for a large bowl of buttered microwave popcorn.

"_Yue_-yue... it's the _truth,_" said Nodoka.

"The only truth I know is that, for whatever reason, you wanted to play a mean trick on me. And now you say you want my forgiveness – but it can't be given simply because you want it. You have to make a bid for it and 'I'm sorry' doesn't even cover the cost of shipping. If you want it, you can either buy it now or wait for my wounded pride and broken trust to rebuild on its own. Who knows; by that time, I'll even be able to look back on this and laugh."

"Buy it now… as in with money or a pound of flesh?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

"I was hoping it was with money. How _much_ time would it take for you to trust me again otherwise?"

"I'd say that I could hold onto a grudge this large for about a year. Make that two."

"EHHH? I don't want you to stay mad at me for that long! I'll do anything to atone, Yue! I love you."

"Awwww... and I love you too, Nodoka," said Yue as she gave Nodoka a trio of patronizing gentle slaps on the side of her face. "I do. I really do... but sometimes we _hurt_ the ones we love." Yue took her hand away from Nodoka's face and resumed her pacing. "Sometimes it's unintentional like what _you_ did to _me_... and sometimes... well... 'anything' is a dangerous word in the hands of a girl who reads books." Nodoka gulped at the very Haruna-like gleam in Yue's eye. "Do you truly understand what it is that you're offering me when you say that you'll do 'anything' to earn my forgiveness?"

"Of course," replied Nodoka softly.

"Then hear me out. _**I've**_ got an idea in _**my**_ head this time… and whether or not the devil put it there is up for debate. It's a penance for you and it's rather severe. There's a chance that you may find it to be more severe than what you did to me _but_... you did say you'd do 'anything'. If you agree to it, you'll have atoned in my eyes and I can put your trolling incident behind me for good."

"Ah! You don't mean to ask me to give up on winning Negi-sensei's heart, do you?"

"No, no, it's nothing so tacky."

"So what is it?"

"Not so fast. If you accept, you'll learn about it as it happens but going in blind is the only way you'll find out from me. It's all in or nothing at all. Furthermore, by accepting your penance, you agree that you will not attempt to seek retribution for your ordeal since you accepted the terms of said penance of your own free will. To put it plainly, we'll be even-steven. And finally, I get no fewer than three free passes good for complete amnesty should I accidentally hurt your feelings in the future."

"Three? That's a bit steep. What happened to even-steven?"

"What can I say? I like insurance. And I did say 'accidentally'. If, for any reason, you feel that the future mess-up is a deliberate act of hostility, then the terms of this agreement shall be considered null and void, meaning I forfeit any and all remaining passes and you are free to get back at me in any way you see fit – including, but not limited to, beating the living snot out of me – no questions asked.

"Setsuna-san, do you know what this ordeal is that Yue has planned for me?"

"That's cheating, Nodoka," said Yue. "Besides, Setsuna doesn't-"

"I do," said Setsuna.

Yue looked back at Setsuna and smiled.

_She's playing along!_ thought Yue. _Good girl. Play it up but don't scare her off!_

"Setsuna doesn't… have to tell you unless she wants to."

"I don't mind," said Setsuna. "Yue shared the details of her penance for you with me earlier, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna. "When she said it was severe, she was being truthful. That is, I'd guess that you would rate it as fairly brutal. I wouldn't go through with it myself... but you're a braver girl than I am. You should be able to endure it and in the end I think you'll find that mending your friendship with Yue would have been worth twice the trouble."

"There you have it," said Yue. "A second opinion. Do you accept the terms, Nodoka?"

"Um, well... may I have some time to consider it?" asked Nodoka.

"Of course you may," said Yue. "You may have ten seconds, starting now."

"Harsh!" said Nodoka.

"Did you give _me_ time to consider whether or not I wanted to be tricked? At least with your penance, you know ahead of time that it's coming and just like your stupid stunt, it won't be the least bit funny. This is a one-time offer, Nodoka. Take it or leave it. Time's up. What's it going to be?"

Setsuna was now willing to part with a kidney in exchange for a large bowl of buttered microwave popcorn.

"Oh, all right," sighed Nodoka. "I suppose it's fair enough. If it means that I'll have atoned in your eyes... then I accept the terms of my penance." Nodoka was rather nervous but she was an official treasure hunter and in her brief time with her magical world dungeon raiding friends, she learned how to roll with the punches. If Nodoka had declined this penance and simply allowed the passage of time to heal the wound she delivered to Yue's heart, not knowing what that penance entailed and how easy it might have been to endure would have gnawed at her brain for the rest of her life; she swore never to use Diarium Ejus on Yue again without her permission and she doubted Yue would ever grant her permission for this.

"Excellent," said Yue with a smile. "I'm glad you agreed to this because once this is over, I'm going to need your help. Now then..." Yue rubbed her hands together with a wild gleam in her eye. "..._let justice be served. _This will take little more than a minute at most." This news was a relief to Nodoka. How bad could this penance be if it was only going to last for sixty seconds? "Put your forearms on top of your head and touch both of your elbows. Don't move unless instructed to do so." Nodoka did as Yue asked and braced herself in the event that a physical blow was part of her penance.

"Um, you're not going to hit me, are you?" asked Nodoka.

"As a gesture of good will," answered Yue, "I'll share that much with you. The answer is: I will not hit you. Setsuna will. Setsuna? Please kick Nodoka in the stomach for sixty seconds for me, would you?"

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Nodoka and Setsuna simultaneously.

"_Kidding!_ Just kidding," said Yue as she held out an open hand to both girls. "Geez, would you relax? No one's going to hit you, you big baby. You won't feel any pain from your penance."

"Oh," said Nodoka. "Okay... WHOA?"

Yue slid her left hand down the front of Nodoka's skirt and her right hand down the back of it. Setsuna blushed as both she and Nodoka wondered just what Yue was planning on doing to her best friend that involved sticking her hands into her skirt. Yue's fingers wrapped tightly around the waistband of Nodoka's panties and she gave her best friend a frontal and rear wedgie simultaneously. It was administered with such gusto that some fibers in Nodoka's panties could be heard tearing under the stress.

Setsuna turned her head, clamped her eyes shut and raised her shoulders up by her ears in a sympathy wince. With all of her combat experience, Setsuna knew a dirty move when she saw one.

Nodoka wasn't particularly keen on Yue helping her to relive the trauma of her elementary school days but a penance wasn't supposed to be a picnic in the park.

Next, Yue tugged Nodoka's shirt up and out from behind her skirt's waistband – as well as the waistband of her panties which was now resting up by her navel – lifted them up over Nodoka's head and tied the mostly inside-out garment into a secure knot which restrained Nodoka's arms above her head. From the collarbone up, Nodoka vaguely resembled a large white onion. Yue noticed a corner of Nodoka's Pudica Bibliothecaria card peeking out of her left bra cup.

"That's a pretty bra," said Yue, grinning softly at how Nodoka had unknowingly saved her a step.

"Oh. Uh, thank you," said Nodoka with a noticeable quiver in her voice. "Haruna picked it out for me."

Setsuna sneered upon hearing the thieving manga-ka's name.

"When I tap your foot," directed Yue, "lift it a few centimeters off the floor and prepare to keep your balance." Yue knelt before Nodoka and pulled the tops of both of Nodoka's black socks down so far that they were now inside out, past the ankle and around her indoor shoes. Yue stood and took a step back to admire her handiwork. She looked over at Setsuna who was hiding a smile behind her hand and watching Nodoka's penance with growing fascination. Nodoka certainly looked ridiculous but Yue felt that there was still more that could be done to make her look even more ridiculous. She walked toward the table where Setsuna was seated and looked over the various writing implements which had been left behind by library staff. Yue grinned when she found that which she sought: a thick chisel-tipped red felt marker. She snatched the marker and skipped back to where Nodoka stood waiting for her humiliation to end. Yue popped the cap off and wrote SEX TOY in large English letters on Nodoka's tummy. She decorated Nodoka's new title by drawing a large heart shape around it. The writing made Nodoka squirm and giggle; not so much from the words – she could not see well enough through the fabric of her blouse to read what Yue had written on her – but from the marker itself dragging along the areas of her midriff where she was ticklish. When Yue had finished writing and moved out of the way, Setsuna was able to read what had written and she giggled. Yue then began to draw the facial features of a skanky woman on Nodoka's shirt-head, complete with excessive makeup and puckered lips most commonly seen on inflatable love dolls.

"Please tell me that's not a permanent marker you're using on my shirt," said Nodoka.

"Uh... it's not a permanent marker I'm using on your shirt," said Yue.

"_Is_ it, though?"

"Shhhh."

Yue fastened the cap back on the marker and placed it in her shirt pocket.

"Are you finished yet?" asked Nodoka who was relieved that this penance, while goofy as hell and mildly homoerotic, was far less traumatic than she was expecting and nearly over. "The marker fumes are giving me a headache."

"Almost," declared Yue. Yue fetched her own Philosophastra Illustrans card from her book bag and held it against her forehead. Like all responsible Mahora teachers, Negi was always at school at this time every day preparing for his lessons and was therefore in range of the library. Using the card's telepathic ability, she contacted Negi with a message.

_Negi-sensei, this is a priority one emergency message from Ministra Magi Yue Ayase. Get to a mundane-free private room and summon Nodoka immediately. She's being monitored telepathically so maintain pactio silence. I repeat: maintain pactio silence. She'll fill you in on what's going on when she arrives. Yue out._

When Yue had finished delivering her message, she tossed her Philosophastra Illustrans card onto the table, sauntered over to the coffee machine and ordered a black drip decaf.

"Okay, Nodoka. I've finished what _I_ needed to do," said Yue as she locked the machine and took a seat. "There's just one thing left that _you_ need to do in order to complete your penance." Yue sat in the same chair in which she sat earlier and placed her feet up on the table.

"Yue-yue, I can't see very well and I'm all trussed up here," said Nodoka. "There's not a whole lot I can do like this."

"That's all right; you can do this even in your current state," said Yue.

"Okay, what do you need me to do?" asked Nodoka.

"Tell Negi-sensei that I'm sorry," said Yue as she took a sip of her coffee and licked her lips.

_Damn_, thought Yue. _This __**is**__ missing something._

At that moment, a magical circle appeared on the floor at Nodoka's feet, bathing her in shimmering violet light. Seeing the circle under Nodoka's feet, Setsuna finally grasped what Yue had so masterfully wrought. Setsuna's jaw dropped as an exaggerated gasp escaped from her mouth, forming an open mouthed smile which she hid behind both hands as she watched Nodoka's summoning circle slowly reach the minimum charge needed to teleport its intended cargo.

"Eh?" said Nodoka. "Yue, what's..." Nodoka felt the warmth of her card against her chest and knew what was about to happen. "Oh, no... OH _NOOOOO! KYAAAAA!_" Nodoka attempted to run out of the circle but the socks around her shoes caused her feet to slide on the smooth hardwood floor and nearly made her fall. Running was pointless, anyway; teleportation circles focused on the carrier of a card and Nodoka's arms were restrained to where she couldn't remove her card from her bra. The circle followed her in the few steps that she was able to take without bumping into anything. Seconds later, Nodoka disappeared.

"Apology accepted, Nodoka," said Yue as she took another sip of her coffee. Her timing was frighteningly good and took a moment to reflect on her awesomeness. Yue put her cup down and looked in Setsuna's direction. "And **that**, Setsuna, is how you handle a friend who does you wrong. Learn it. Use it."

Setsuna did not respond. She was too awestruck by Yue to formulate words. With such a brilliant strategist on her side, Setsuna's confidence in Yue quadrupled. The breakup of Haruna and Konoka was practically assured.

"You know that Negi-sensei will reprimand you for using your pactio card to pull childish pranks on his ministra, don't you?" asked Setsuna.

"Meh," uttered Yue with a shrug. "If it comes down to that, I'm prepared to argue the point that if magic can't be used to mend broken friendships then I fail to see what good it is to anyone. Come on, it's time for us to go to homeroom." Yue took her book bag and waited for Setsuna to do the same. Setsuna collected all of the empty cups, threw them in the trash can and followed Yue to the door which led to the lobby.

"You did a great job playing along," said Yue. "Going with the flow seamlessly the way you did is one of the hardest skills to develop."

"Is that right?"

"Yes, it takes a rapport that few people have. Even _I_ thought you knew what I was planning."

"Thank you," said Setsuna. "It was a pleasure to watch you in action. If you don't mind my asking... what was it that Nodoka-san did that upset you so?"

"Oh, yeah," said Yue as she waited for Setsuna to pass through the doorway so she could lock the lounge behind them. "She led me to believe that Emily had confessed to having feelings for me and, in showing my enthusiasm to know the details of this confession, Nodoka conned me into confirming that _I_ am the one who is attracted to Emily." Yue closed her eyes and walked with a swagger to look cool.

Setsuna stroked her chin and thought about this.

"Hmm... and this took place in front of how many people?" asked Setsuna.

"No one else," replied Yue. "It was just the two of us here at the library in one of the resource rooms."

"But Yue, y-you _are_ attracted to Emily."

"Well, yeah... but I didn't know it at the time."

"So you punished your best friend for privately making a prediction about your orientation and being _right_ about it? That's no excuse for doing what you did to her. Wouldn't you have confided in Nodoka-san about your orientation sooner or later anyway?"

Yue pursed her lips into an X and averted her eyes. When put the way Setsuna put it, it did seem rather silly to be as upset about it as she was. If anyone had a right to be upset now, it was Nodoka for being put through a punishment that far outweighed her crime. Admitting a mistake was something that cool people – or at least people wanting to look cool – didn't do so Yue came up with the best excuse to validate her actions that she could come up with on such short notice.

"I didn't like the way she went about it," said Yue.

"_That's not an excuse either!_" spat Setsuna.

Both girls stopped short of the front door, doubled over, drew their knees close together and looked at one another.

"_Do you have to... powder your nose, too?_" squeaked Setsuna.

"Like a racehorse," squeaked Yue. "Follow me-e-e-e-_oh-h-h-h-h-h-h..._"

Both girls dropped their book bags and sprinted for the lobby restroom. Like a pair of dominoes, the book bags toppled over with Yue's landing on top of Setsuna's.

"_'Powder your nose'_? I didn't realize that urination was considered a rude word," teased Yue.

"Oh, be quiet," said Setsuna.

* * *

><p>Homeroom was a symphony of melodic noise where each girl's chattering added its own unique passage to the overall composition. In 3-A, the early birds got to speak the longest so there were seldom students who showed up late – save Evangeline who had little interest in talking to any of her non-Chachamaru classmates. It was even earlier than normal so only the earliest of birds were present in the classroom.<p>

Neither Konoka nor Haruna had shown up yet and Setsuna was doing her best to meditate as she sat at her desk in order to prevent negative feelings from surfacing when the girl who broke her heart would enter the classroom. Yue had excused herself from Setsuna's presence moments earlier to find Nodoka and and apologize for the prank she had pulled on her.

The only other students present were Akira, Chizuru, Zazie and Chisame; an assortment of girls who were not very talkative with one another from being affiliated with radically different cliques. The silence was deafening compared to the verbal thunderstorm that homeroom would become once everyone else piled in. Setsuna knew from experience that all it would take was either Sakurako or one or both of the Narutakis to bring the thunder.

Not long after Setsuna made her prediction did the events come to pass; doubly so in that the Narutakis came in _with_ Sakurako, followed by the rest of the class. None of the girls went to their own desks at first but eventually they settled into their seats and began talking to those seated beside, behind or in front of them. The noisefest was in full swing and the only people unaccounted for were Yue, Nodoka, Konoka, Haruna and Negi.

Haruna walked into the classroom along with Konoka. Whereas Haruna waltzed in as happy-go-lucky as ever, Konoka appeared preoccupied. She had Yuunagi's case slung over her shoulder and held a small plastic bag containing Setsuna's keys, cell phone and pactio cards. Upon entering the classroom, she cast a glance at Setsuna's seat. Setsuna was there, sitting up straight and facing forward.

"Good; the herd's almost at full capacity," said Haruna as she stretched out her arms and yawned. "I want to make the announcement when Negi-kun gets here but I don't know if I can wait that long."

"Okay," said Konoka. "I'll go give Secchan her things and then sit at my desk."

"Cool," said Haruna. "I'll go chillax in my seat until showtime. No need to tip off the unwashed masses ahead of schedule by hanging all over you."

"Mkay," said Konoka as her right hand nervously fiddled with Yuunagi's shoulder strap. As she set her book bag on top of her own desk, Misora, Satsuki, Ku Fei and Yuuna all greeting her with a 'good morning'. Konoka showed only the bare minimum of enthusiasm as she returning their greetings without letting Setsuna out of her sight.

_Please don't turn around, Secchan,_ thought Konoka.

Holding her breath in an effort to slow down her heartbeat, she walked briskly toward the front of the classroom toward Setsuna's desk as she slung Yuunagi off of her shoulder and into her hands. Placing the bag and Yuunagi on top of Setsuna's desk wordlessly, Konoka returned to her own desk, sat down and released the air she held in her lungs and sat down.

Setsuna looked at the items which Konoka had placed on her desk. Back when Eishun Konoe had presented Setsuna with Yuunagi, it never looked sweeter. Just as Konoka was now a different person, so was Yuunagi a different no-dachi. Once, it had been an extension of her soul, gladly drawn in service to protect Konoka at any cost, including her own life. Now, it was a peripheral with which she was to perform her duty; it held no more significance than a wrench would hold for a plumber. She placed Yuunagi on the ground by her feet and her other possessions in her book bag. She sighed as she kept reminding herself that this was what Konoka wanted.

Asuna entered the classroom and had already taken her seat when Konoka was returning from her brief trip to Setsuna's desk. She was prepared to greet Konoka and ask her about how her evening with Setsuna went but as she saw the apprehensive look on her friend's face, Asuna became concerned with Konoka's well being.

"Konoka?" asked Asuna. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," replied Konoka. "No."

"Which is it; yes or no?" asked Asuna.

"Asuna, I need to talk to you after class today," said Konoka. "Are you going home right after school?"

"Yeah," said Asuna. "Want me to wait for you at the train platform?"

"Would you?" asked Konoka. "I'd appreciate that."

"Consider it done," said Asuna. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," said Konoka as she peered over at Setsuna's desk and then back at Haruna.

* * *

><p>Haruna was humming a tune as she walked over to the window to admire the weather and think what a wonderful day it was to be awesome. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind, giving her the gentlest of hugs. Haruna could feel the concentrated love behind this hug and it moved her as no hug before it had done. While it wasn't possible, she felt as if it was more than one person was holding her; not physically but spiritually. Did Konoka know how to give magical hugs and didn't tell her about it? Haruna turned around to face her well-wishing girlfriend.<p>

"That was nice, Kono-chan, but I thought we agreed that we wouldn't tip... off ...the-"

The arms which held her did not belong to Konoka as she thought. Before her stood Zazie Rainyday, the quiet acrobatic demon girl who sat beside her in homeroom. Haruna could count on both hands the number of times Zazie spoke to her so a display of affection from the dark-skinned teen out of the blue was highly unusual.

"Eh? Zazie-san?" asked Haruna. "What was that for?"

"You'll be missed," said Zazie as she closed her eyes and wore a melancholy smile.

"I'll be _missed? _Why? Where are you going?"

Zazie shook her head and pointed at Haruna.

"_I'm_ going somewhere?" asked Haruna. "Where do you think _I'm_ going?"

Zazie slowly pointed upward. Haruna looked up at the ceiling and then back at Zazie.

"At least, that's where we hope you'll be," said Zazie with a gentle grin.

Haruna suddenly found herself surrounded by darkness. She moved and found that she was able to lift her head. The darkness had merely been her own arms shielding her eyes from the light as her face was planted against the desk within the space her arms formed. She had accidentally fallen asleep in her desk for a few minutes. Haruna immediately turned to her left to look at Zazie. The pale-haired girl was busy writing something in her notebook. She felt Haruna's eyes upon her and she sat up, turned to face Haruna with a gentle grin and bowed politely; a gesture Haruna had come to know as Zazie's wordless way of wishing Haruna a good morning. Haruna returned the bow and wondered what could have prompted her brain to concoct a dream in which Zazie hoped that she'd get to attend Nijūin-sensei's first period Home Economics class just upstairs. Shrugging off the dream as nonsense, Haruna turned to her right to find that Yue had finally made it to class.

"Hey, Yue," said Haruna. "How did last night go with the big sleepover?"

"Mm," honked Yue.

"That good, huh? I would have guessed that something fun or eventful would have happened with Negi-kun sleeping in our room."

"Mm," honked Yue again.

"Someone's in a bad mood," said Haruna.

Yue looked into Haruna's eyes. The manga-ka's outer appearance was the same as it had always been but inside, she was someone that Yue did not know as well as she thought she did. Yue could always trust Haruna to always do the right thing as was befitting a member of the Negi-gumi. Haruna came with her share of eccentricities – everyone knew that – but when it came down to it, Yue could always look into Haruna's eyes and know that they belonged to a good human being with a good heart. This Haruna's eyes belonged to someone who felt that what others didn't know wouldn't hurt them: the philosophy of thieves.

"Yes," said Yue. "I would imagine that a number of people are in a bad mood today. I'm just one of them."

"I'm sorry to hear that… but I happen to be in a great mood! Maybe some of it'll rub off on ya when the show starts. Let's see... everyone's here that matters so I guess I'll start."

"Show?" asked Yue.

"It's nothing you don't already know but watch and be amazed as The Great Paru-Sama's popularity surpasses Asuna's! Wish me money!"

Haruna skipped past Yue up to the front of the classroom between the teacher's desk and the desks of Ayaka and Sakurako.

"Good morning, Paru," said Sakurako.

"Please return to your seat, Saotome-san," said Ayaka. "Negi-sensei will be here shortly to take attendance."

"Don't worry, Iincho-san," said Haruna. "This won't take very long." Haruna looked up from Ayaka and spoke to the class. "Everyone? May I please have your attention? I've got an important announcement I'd like to make!"

Yue's eyes widened as she heard Haruna speak but they were not as wide as Setsuna's.

_Oh, fuck, she's going to tell the whole class that she's seeing Konoka!_ thought Yue. _Don't do this, you idiot! Setsuna's right there! She'll be humiliated in front of everyone!_

Yue looked at Setsuna and saw her place her head down on her desk to sleep – or cry.

"Paru saying 'please'?" observed Makie "We're not lending you any money, Paru!"

_I've got to stop this, _thought Yue._ Setsuna could go into curse mode and affect the girls around her right here in class! But if I stop Haruna today, what's to keep her from trying again tomorrow or the day after that? What do I do? Grandfather? I know that I lost some brownie points with you from what I did to Nodoka today but I'm begging you – if you have any ideas, I would love-_

Then, as if it was placed before her by her grandfather himself, the answer came to her. It made her blush and that was a good thing for she would need as crimson a face as she could muster to make this work.

Was it a bad idea? Maybe. Did it have a chance of blowing up in her face? In all likelihood, yes. Was it better than doing nothing? Without a doubt.

"I'm not asking you guys to give me money, geez!" declared Haruna indignantly. "What kind of person do you guys take me for?"

"A baka," said Ku Fei.

"And a mischief maker," said Fuuka.

"And a rumor spreader," said Misa.

"And a pervert," said Ayaka.

Haruna decided not to address the accusations of her classmates, partly due to the fact that they were all hypocrital but mostly because she was guilty on all counts.

"As if I would beg my classmates for handouts," scoffed Haruna as she folded her arms, shook her head and closed her eyes. "But as long as we're on the subject of money..." Haruna opened one eye.

"Here it comes," muttered Chisame. "The sales pitch."

"...if you have some spare cash and you're looking for the perfect Christmas gift..." said Haruna.

"Who goes Christmas shopping in the summer, you goofball?" asked Madoka.

"...or if you're torn on what to get me for my birthday which is on August 18th..." said Haruna.

"Buying you your own manga?" asked Natsumi. "Why? So that you can just restock it at the bookstore for another sale? We're not stupid, you know!"

"...might I recommend visiting the Mahora bookstore and buying a copy or two of the Mahō Shōjo collected volumes?" asked Haruna.

"No," said the majority of the class.

"I'll even _siiiign_ themmmm," sang Haruna.

"NO!" shouted the class.

"OKAY, FINE!" shouted Haruna. "Cast not pearls before swine, I guess." Haruna's demeanor quickly shifted from disgust to delight as she was now about to tell all of her undeserving cheapskate classmates that she was dating Konoka. "Now that we've heard from our sponsor, I've got some breaking news for you that you are not going to believe! It involves a certain 3-A girl sharing her feelings for a certain other-GABLAGH!"

Yue connected with a running jump kick to Haruna's head which sent the manga-ka tumbling over the teacher's desk and slamming into the chalkboard behind it. Haruna crumpled onto the floor in a daze as a wisp of smoke smouldered from a newly formed bump on her head.

Konoka eyes grew into wide circles as she witnessed the attack. She was never terribly fond of the slapstick which Haruna, Nodoka and Yue employed and was even less fond of it now that Haruna was her precious girlfriend.

Setsuna looked up at what had caused the sudden noise and sheets of tears appeared on her face from missing the attack.

"IPPON!" shouted most of the class.

"Ha-_RU_-na-_aaa?!_ _Geez!_ Would you stop it already?" asked Yue with a blush and a smile. "I told you that we don't need your help. We'll do this on our own."

Konoka had no idea what was going on. Was there a plan made to have Yue tell the class about Harukono which Haruna forgot to tell her about?

"Hey, guys! Eeeeee, this is so embarrassing!" Yue appeared to be uncharacteristically spunky and chipper today. "I wanted to wait a little later in the week before revealing this but try and stop Haruna from opening her big mouth when there's a secret involved, right?"

The class laughed in agreement with Yue's assessment.

"So without further ado... _kyaaa!"_ Yue hid her smiling face behind her hands once again which piqued the curiosity of her classmates even further.

"Well, what is it, Yuekichi?" asked Yuuna who was blushing from anticipation alone. "You don't have to be embarrassed in front of us. What's the big secret?"

"Yeah! Tell us already!" chimed the Narutakis in unison.

"The truth is that... _I'm_ the one who's got the huge announcement," said Yue. "Setsuna? Come on up here."

"Did she just use Sakurazaki's first name without an honorific?" asked Ako.

"She _did_," observed Akira.

"Eh? Me?" asked Setsuna as she pointed to herself.

"Who else?" asked Yue with a big smile. "It's time."

"Time for what, Ayase-san?" asked Kazumi.

Setsuna rose from her desk slowly, walked up beside Yue and faced the class. Yue grabbed Setsuna's left hand and smiled as she divulged her secret.

"The announcement Haruna was insistent that I make to everyone is that... _Setsuna and I are now officially girlfriends!_"

"EHHHHHHHH?!" bellowed everyone except for Mana, Evangeline, Chachamaru and Chisame.

"You mean as in '_girlfriends_' girlfriends?" asked Misora.

"_You_ tell _me_," said Yue suavely as she placed her arm around Setsuna's waist, dipped her and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips.

Everyone who was seated with the exception of Mana, Evangeline and Chachamaru either gasped or squealed.

Negi opened the door, entered the classroom, saw Yue and Setsuna locking lips and walked right back out again, closing the door behind him.

Setsuna was stunned at first by what was happening to her but then she closed her eyes and met Yue's kiss with an equal amount of passion.

Yue was relieved that Setsuna still remembered the value of playing along.

_(If there was a chapter that threatened to cause my fingers fall off, it was this one. There was so much material to cover and I made so many trips to my manga shelf to brush up on facts for accuracy's sake. Never before has something which I considered to be fun been so much work. Between 13 and 15 is a labor of love with no love for the labor involved. What I do love are the reviews so if you haven't left a review before, please do so now. The wordier, the better. It really does fire me up to get the next chapter up even sooner.)_

_(It was unclear as to whether or not Negi was lying to Asuna about Ostia's airborn disease which induces hallucinations and deliberately drugged her to suppress her memory. I nearly had Yue state in this chapter that she based her spell on this New World disease that affected both Kotarō in thet Gravekeeper's Palace and, in a different way, Fate with his final battle against Negi but without any solid proof that the disease actually existed, I left it as is.)_

_(Not that it's earth-shattering but in the interest of accuracy, I plan on going back and changing the times listed throughout the chapters into 24-hour clock time as it is what Japan uses. I used one or two 24-hour clock time checks in some chapters but not all.)_


	13. Rowdy With A Chance Of Feathers

"You two are so cute together that I could just die!" said Makie.

Haruna had to agree with Makie's observation. Harukono did make a cute couple. And Makie could, in fact, die from it if she wasn't careful.

"Have you gone all the way yet?" asked Sakurako.

Haruna smiled at the question, having happily gone all the way and back again with Konoka several times.

_Wait a minute_, thought Haruna. _Did I even tell them about Harukono yet? Why don't I remember saying it? And why can't I see anything?_

"Does fisting hurt?" asked Fūka.

Haruna opened her heavy eyelids upon being asked such a crude question but in reality the question wasn't being directed at her or Konoka. The girls who should have been crowding around her weren't even next to her. Instead, they were clamoring about something else going on in front of the desk which Haruna couldn't see from where she was lying on the floor.

"Are you okay, Haruna?" asked a voice which she recognized as Nodoka's. Haruna found that seeing anything that wasn't three feet in front of her was difficult. Konoka, who was kneeling beside her, corrected this by returning Haruna's glasses to her face. Nodoka stood beside Konoka and her fallen comrade to make sure she was okay since the kick that Yue delivered to Haruna looked especially vicious.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Haruna, scratching her forehead and feeling the X bandage above her bangs. "Who's that in front of the desk?"

"Paru-chan, something's gone terribly wrong!" said Konoka. "Yue interrupted you and said that **she and Secchan** are girlfriends!"

"SHE _WHAT_?" asked Haruna as she got to her feet. There was Yue, standing beside Setsuna facing their classmates and basking in the novelty that was the alternative lifestyle spotlight which Haruna had been denied. Growling like a taunted watchdog, Haruna made her way around the teacher's desk to confront Yue about this nonsense. She was at the narrow end of the desk when she saw something that caught her eye. Turning to face it, the moving object turned out to be Kū Fei somersaulting onto the teacher's desk. The Chinese girl stood after completing her somersault and delivered a flying kick to Haruna's chest which sent her flying across the room. Konoka was surprised by the unwarranted attack yet she still had the presence of mind to catch Haruna's glasses before they fell to the floor. Haruna bounced off the door, landed on her feet and promptly sank to her knees. She had been knocked silly again and had just enough presence of mind to keep from collapsing. Anyone could see that the lights were on but nobody was home. Setsuna witnessed this attack and used the joy it brought her as fuel for the smiles she presented to her fawning classmates. Nodoka ran over to Haruna to see if she was okay while Konoka confronted her girlfriend's assailant.

"_Kū-chan?! Why did you do that?!_" asked a circle-eyed Konoka.

"Well," said Kū Fei, "I saw Yuekichi kick her and..."

"Yeah? And?" asked Konoka.

"And so I just assumed," said Kū Fei as she tapped her index fingers together while stalling for time, "...that the class waaaaas... holding an impromptu... martial arts... potluck."

Konoka could barely contain her outrage at being presented with such a ridiculous excuse.

"A martial arts potluck? _There's no such thing as a martial arts potluck! _Impromptu or otherwise!"

"Ah," said Kū Fei as she scratched the back of her head. "Then I guess my Japanese still needs improvement." Kū Fei bowed to Konoka and returned to the crowd around Yue and Setsuna, hoping to get in some questions of her own.

"_This has nothing to do with your Japanese!_" spat Konoka as she shed V-tears. "_Get back here!_" She ran over to Nodoka who was crouching beside the kneeling Haruna, still loopy from the blow. Haruna's eyes were spirals and her mouth hung open in a dopey vacant smile. Konoka hoped that her lover hadn't received a concussion from the attack.

"H_i_k_a_r_u_ k_a_z_e_ w_o_ o_i_k_o_s_h_i_t_a_r_a... _K_i_m_i _n_i _k_i_t_t_o_ a_e_r_u_ n_e_..." sang Haruna off key in a slurred voice.

"You just keep singing, Paru-chan," said Konoka. "I'll fix you up in a jiffy." Konoka placed her hands alongside both of Haruna's temples and cast a slow-working yet thorough healing spell. Nodoka wrung her hands and looked back at Yue and Setsuna, wondering what Yue could have been thinking by ruining Haruna's big announcement.

"Konoka, is **this** what you wanted to talk with me about?" asked Asuna as she approached Konoka.. "Setsuna dumping you for Yue? What is going on here?"

"I wasn't **dumped**, Asuna," said Konoka. "You have to be one half of a couple in order to dump someone. And _this_ is **not** what I wanted to talk to you about. _This_ is a **fiasco**. Asuna, don't wait up for me at the train station after all, okay? I promise that I'll catch up with you later when I get home. Now, if you'll please excuse me; I need to concentrate for this spell to work properly. Please watch the door for mundanes, would you, Nodoka?" Nodoka nodded and walked briskly toward the door. She looked out into the hallway and kept watch as Konoka continued to heal Haruna. "Come on, Paru-chan. Pull yourself together."

Even with Asuna back in her seat and Nodoka watching out for mundanes, Konoka's concentration was weak at best. Witnessing a kiss between Setsuna and Yue had left her with mixed emotions. If those two had truly found happiness with one another, Konoka would have been happy for both of them but the timing of their announcement caused her to suspect that this was either a prank or a coup.

Asuna looked back at Setsuna and all of the other key figures in this fiasco. Did the swordswoman ask her and Negi to sleep over at the Library Three's room in order to break the news to Konoka that she wanted to date Yue? And if she did, why would this be a fiasco to Konoka if Setsuna told her about it? And how did Paru fit into the equation? It made Asuna's head hurt to think about it.

The majority of the 3-A students surrounding Yue and Setsuna had their cell phones out and were either recording videos of them or taking photos. Setsuna held her hands out and waved them slowly to silence her new fans in order to be heard.

"How did you two find out that you were into each other?" asked Kazumi.

"I've always had the utmost respect for Yue when we were only classmates," said Setsuna. "Over time, I found that it had developed into something more. She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about when I would go to sleep at night. Early yesterday evening, I gathered up the courage to ask her if she would be my girlfriend. While she was very flattered, she turned me down because there was another she had set her heart on. I was devastated by the rejection and I started to cry. Kū Fei and Kaede saw those tears the other night when Yue carried me back to my room."

_Setsuna, you're scaring me with how good you are at this_, thought Yue, impressed that the swordswoman was able to weave an event that had witnesses into her improvised testimony.

"Can you corroborate Sakurazaki's story, Kū Fei?" asked Satomi.

"I could," said Kū Fei, "if I knew what 'corroborate' meant."

"It's true, Hakase-dono," said Kaede. "We did witness Yue-dono carrying Setsuna-dono to her room... and Setsuna-dono did appear to be quite upset... but Yue-dono said it was due to menstrual cramps."

"I told you that because I didn't want to embarrass her by telling you the real reason," explained Yue.

"_Ohhhh_," said Kaede. "That was a clever bit of thinking, Yue-dono."

"Thank you," said Yue with a bow. "As I was carrying her back to her room, she looked so helpless weeping in my arms that something came over me." Yue looked into Setsuna's eyes lovingly. "It's hard to describe. I had a crush who didn't return my feelings and here was someone for whom I've never had a romantic feeling that was crying up a storm over me. Me! Feeling the need to take responsibility, I dabbed her tears dry with a tissue but when that didn't work, I... kissed them away." Yue hid her smiling face with a single hand and Setsuna hugged Yue from behind, wondering when the first bell would ring so that they could exit the spotlight. "That did the trick... and so Setsuna showed me what else kissing could do." The girls that formed a circle around Yue and Setsuna wooted and squealed.

"Eeeee! That is too cute!" said Makie. "We need to invent a new word just to describe this level of cuteness!"

"There _is_ such a new word," said Yue. "It's..." Yue inhaled during her dramatic pause and spoke the word breathily. "..._Yuesetsu._" Yue looked up at Setsuna, closed her eyes and puckered her lips for a kiss. Setsuna saw the gesture and pressed her lips against Yue's once more, much to her classmates' delight. The stares of her classmates caused Setsuna a bit of embarrassment but it was a far preferable amount than what she would have received if they were asking her why Konoka had dumped her.

"Oh, for crying out loud," muttered Chisame as she turned her head to avoid witness the nauseating display of affection. "This is homeroom, not Mahora Yuri Theater Hour."

"Hasegawa-dono," said a voice from behind Chisame. The net idol turned around in her desk and saw that the person behind her was Kaede.

"Uwah!" cried Chisame. She faced forward, saw Kaede standing amongst the crowd around Yue and Setsuna and turned around again. "Don't use your doubles in class, Baka Blue!"

"Hasegawa-dono," said Kaede with her trademark calm smile, "Setsuna-dono and Yue-dono are my friends. They are sharing the happiness they have found in one another with the class and it matters not if they are both girls. If you cannot say anything nice, it would be polite to say nothing at all." With that, the Kaede double vanished. Chisame turned around and saw the real Kaede give her a thumbs-up. Chisame grumbled and rested her elbow on her desk and her jaw on her palm.

"Am I a bad person for giving up on my first crush and falling for you?" asked Yue of Setsuna.

"All I know is that the only thing I would hold against you," said Setsuna, "...is me." Setsuna closed her eyes and hugged Yue. Yue closed her eyes and smiled from Setsuna's warm hug.

"Awwww..." fawned their classmates.

"_I got that from a greeting card I saw at a gift shop_," whispered Setsuna as she spoke into Yue's ear.

"Ahhh! I want my boyfriend to say something sweet like that to me!" cried Sakurako.

"You have to _find_ yourself a boyfriend first," said Madoka.

"Then I'll date Negi-sensei," said Sakurako.

"_You'll date_ _**who**_, _Sakurako-san_?" asked Ayaka with narrowed pupilless eyes.

"What happened after you kissed away Setsuna's tears, Yuekichi?" asked Fumika.

"Oh, um, the rest of the story gets a little naughty so we'll just stop there," answered Yue.

"Awwww!" bemoaned their classmates.

"Sakurazaki-san, what of your relationship with Konoka-san?" asked Ayaka. "As you are her personal bodyguard, I was under the impression that the two of you were quite close."

"It's... uhhh... strictly professional now, Iincho-san," said Setsuna. "Sure, Konoka-Ojou-sama and I may have shared a tender moment or two here and there... but in my heart, I knew that I needed to be with someone who... someone who could see me as a person with my own mind and not as a stuffed animal to cuddle when she's lonely and then put on a shelf and ignore when she's not. She didn't respect me... and so I chose to end our personal relationship."

"Konoka-san, you must feel awful being dumped by Setsuna-san," said Sayo.

"You should be respectful of others, Konoka-dono," said Kaede. "Otherwise, you'll find it difficult to hold onto a girlfriend."

"If you need to talk to someone, come see me," said Ako. "I've been shot down before so I've been where you are."

"Are you going to cut your hair now because of this, Konoka-san?" asked Natsumi.

Konoka stared blankly into space as tears ran down her face. She kept her spell going on Haruna but she heard Setsuna's words clearly and tried to shut out what her classmates were now saying. This was the feeling she wanted to avoid giving to Setsuna and now she was the one being subjected to it. There was nothing Konoka could think to do or say to rebut any of the comments her classmates were making based on Setsuna's claims and so she did her best to ignore them.

"Have you apologized to Sakurazaki-san for being so thoughtless toward her?" asked Satsuki. "If you haven't, you really ought to, you know."

"Will you start dating guys exclusively now, Konoka-san?" asked Chizuru cheerily. "It might be a wise move. _I_ know! Why don't you let me set you up on a date with Kotarō-kun?"

"_CHIZU-NE?!_" yelled a circle-eyed Natsumi.

"Does fisting hurt?" asked Fūka.

Konoka's lip quivered as she drowned in nosy questions. She closed her eyes but since that didn't stifle the sounds, she cancelled the healing spell and placed her hands over her ears. What damage Konoka was able to heal with her spell had finally brought Haruna around and the furious manga-ka stood up and jumped on top of the teacher's desk.

"Guys!" yelled Haruna. "What you've just been told is a lie! I was not about to announce that Yue and Sakurazaki were girlfriends! I was going to announce that Konoka and I are girlfriends!"

Haruna's statement was met with laughter.

"What's so funny?" asked Haruna.

"You are, Paru! You're just making that up," said Madoka.

"Why would I make this up, Kugimin?" asked Haruna.

"Do we really have to spell it out for you, Saotome-san?" asked Ayaka. "And get down from that desk. Honestly! You're almost as bad as a certain girl with heterochromia I know."

"Spell _what_ out for me, Iincho-san?" asked Haruna.

"Duh! You're only trying to help Konoka save face from being dumped by Setsuna," said Makie. "We're not buying it."

_No_, thought Konoka. _Oh, no, no, no, no, no. _The fiasco had just evolved into a nightmare.

Yue grinned as she watched Haruna fight an uphill battle with the class. Everything was going better than expected. Setsuna watched with great interest as her classmates were slowly becoming as sick of Haruna as she was.

"That's SO not true!" exclaimed Haruna as she hopped off the desk and walked briskly toward Konoka. "We are girlfriends! Watch; I'll kiss her right now; are you watching? MPTHBLRF!" Konoka held her right arm out in front of her and mashed the side of Haruna's face with her palm when she tried to get closer. There was no way that Konoka was going to subject Setsuna to the sight of her kissing Haruna; it would pulverize whatever was left of Setsuna's already broken heart.

"**Not. Now.**" said Konoka firmly.

"_Kono_-chaaaan, what are you _do_-iiiing?" sang Haruna softly through clenched teeth. "You're not exactly helping our _credibility_ herrrre."

"Ha! See?" said Yūna. "She doesn't even _want_ you to kiss her! Not that it would prove anything."

"What the hell do you want us to do, Akashi?" asked Haruna as she turned around. "Eat each other out here in the damned classroom?"

"_Paru!_" barked a red-faced Konoka.

"Saotome-san!" said Ayaka sternly. "While you are in this classroom, you **will** speak like a proper young lady worthy of being in Negi-sensei's homeroom or you will not speak at all!"

"Yes, Iincho-san," said Haruna humbly in deference to 3-A's authority figure.

"The biggest hole in your story is the fact that it's coming from you, Paru," said Misa. "You two are old friends from the Library Seekers club."

"**Library **_**Exploration**_** Club!**" said Yue, Nodoka, Konoka and Haruna simultaneously.

The members of the Library Exploration Club may have had their differences at the moment but they were always of the same mind when it came to people incorrectly stating the name of their treasured club: it was freaking annoying.

"We don't _seek_ the library," said Nodoka. "We _know_ where it is."

"What_**ev**_, Honya-chan," said Misa. "Paru, it's obvious to all of us that a friend of yours got dumped by her girlfriend and you're helping her maintain her flawless image by pretending that you two are a couple. It's commendable, really... but we see right through it and she must be hella desperate to ask you to even attempt a lie that lame."

"But it's the truth!" said Haruna.

"Does 'the boy who cried wolf' hold any meaning for you, Saotome?" asked Chisame.

"Face it, Paru," said Misora, "you're so untrustworthy that if you told us you wore _glasses_, we'd have reason to suspect you were up to something... and they're sitting right there on your face."

"Konoka!" cried Haruna. "Back me up here! Tell them that we're really a couple!"

"Really, Paru?" asked Yūna snidely. "Konoka's word would prove even less than kissing her would. Konoka's the one who's been dumped by Sakurazaki so, naturally, she has a vested interest in backing up your lie. Her word would actually be worth less than yours... and that's pretty darned worthless."

_My classmates think that my word is worthless_, thought Konoka as she hid her face.

"Even if you and Konoka _were_ to kiss each other, it wouldn't be that surprising," said Madoka. "You've been friends for a while now. I've hardly ever seen Ayase and Sakurazaki even _talk_ to one other! Yuesetsu is a complete surprise!"

"Yeah, and Yuesetsu is unique!" said Sakurako.

"Harukono is _uniquely_ unique!" said Haruna.

"That doesn't make any sense," muttered Chisame.

"And Yuesetsu is cute!" said Makie.

"We're _super_ cute!" said Haruna as she smiled her cutest smile while standing cheek to cheek with Konoka and manipulating the corners of Konoka's mouth with her fingers to form a smile. As she was in no mood to smile, Konoka pulled Haruna's hands away from her face.

"And neither of them are a self-promoting egocentric pottymouthed megalomaniac!" said Ayaka.

"Kh!" spat Haruna. "H-How _dare_ you insult... Konoka like that, Iincho-san?"

The class laughed out loud at the way Haruna dodged the insults intended for her.

"How dare _you_ try to insult our intelligence with another transparent scheme, Saotome-san?" asked Ayaka. "You should be ashamed of yourself a hundred times over, if only because your attempt to deceive us was so utterly pathetic."

The others chimed in with their thoughts.

"Poser!"

"Weeeeak!"

"Laaame!"

"Go take a walk down the fail trail!"

Haruna was speechless. Her eyes met the gaze of her many accusers and none of them had an ounce of faith or sympathy to spare. Nearly everyone was ganging up on her and she wasn't being given a fair chance to state her case based on the numerous mischievous deeds in her past which, in her opinion, should not be held against her in any way. These girls should have been falling over themselves just to get a glimpse of Harukono in all of their "lesbian-tastic" splendor. How did this all go so badly?

"I call dibs on being the president of the official Yuesetsu fan club!" said Fūka.

"Dibs on vice president!" said Fumika.

"Event sponsor!" said Ayaka.

"First fan!" shouted Misa.

"Second fan!" shouted Makie.

"Third fan!" shouted Sakurako.

"Paper fan!" shouted Asuna as she held up her harisen.

Fūka began to write names and duties down on a small pad of paper as the girls clamored for a spot in the fledgling club.

_THAT SHOULD BE MY FAN CLUB THEY SHOULD BE JOINING! _thought Haruna as she hopped back on top of the desk and jumped up and down on it.

"_**NO, NO, NO!**_" roared Haruna. "_You've got it all wrong! This was supposed to be my time to shine and I've been robbed!_"

"Just yours?" asked Konoka who was sure that this was about _their_ time to shine.

"Eh? Oh! Sorry, baby," said Haruna as she looked down at Konoka. "_You should be fawning over Harukono, not Chickenlittle!_"

"Ixnay on the ickenchay," said Konoka as she tapped her lover's left calf.

While Yue didn't care for Haruna's dig at her height, an insult of some kind was not unexpected given the situation. Conversely, Setsuna was outraged by Haruna's power couple name for Yuesetsu as it ridiculed her heritage by comparing her unfavorably to domesticated fowl.

"Haruna," said Nodoka as she gently tugged on Haruna's sock. "Come down from there."

"Get down from that desk immediately, Saotome-san!" ordered Ayaka. "I'm responsible for any school property that you damage while under my supervision!"

"Not until someone agrees to listen to me!" said Haruna. "You're the class rep here and I'm part of your class. If you represent the class and I can't come to you for help, you must not be doing your job properly."

"Fine," grumbled Ayaka. "I'll give you half a minute of my time if you promise to get down from the desk when you're spoken your piece. Deal?"

"Deal!" said Haruna. Ayaka looked at her cell phone's clock.

"And you had better impress me with your argument," said Ayaka. "Your thirty seconds begin... now."

"No one's using their brains here, Iincho-san! You see how opposed I am to all of this, don't you? No one's asked themselves one simple question that would go _miles_ toward supporting my claim if they thought about it: if my announcement was supposedly going to be about Yuesetsu in the first place like Yue said, _why the hell would I do a complete one-eighty now and start trashing them?_ A freaking **third grader** would ask themselves that! You've been tricked so that you'd think **exactly what you're thinking now!** The class is so busy enjoying their cheese, they can't even see that they've been caught in a trap!"

"Your time is up," said Ayaka as she put her cell phone in her vest pocket with her left hand and held out her right hand to help Haruna down. Haruna took hold of Ayaka's hand and hopped off the desk.

"What's the verdict, Iincho-san?" asked Haruna.

"Saotome-san," said Ayaka, "I think I speak for the class when I say that we've been burned by you too many times in the past to give you the benefit of the doubt... but for argument's sake – and so that I can't be accused of not doing my job properly – let's _pretend_ for a moment that this is the conspiracy you claim it to be. I know the perfect way that we can prove your innocence to me."

"I knew you were a woman of reason, Iincho-san!" said Haruna as her eyes widened and became glossy with admiration for her class rep. "May I call you Yukihiro-san?"

"No. Now here's what we'll do," said Ayaka as she put her arm around Haruna and began to walk with her away from the Yuesetsu crowd. "Do you see Nodoka-san sitting over there? Why don't we take a walk and pay her a visit so that she can use her artifact to put your thoughts down on paper? If you'll then permit me to read what's on your mind so that I can see for myself that you're telling me the truth, not only will I apologize for doubting you but I'll also have the rest of the class apologize to you."

Haruna stopped walking. Ayaka stopped and turned around to face Haruna who was now a step behind her.

"That is... unless you're worried that I might find a _lie_ on the page," said Ayaka.

For once, Haruna was not hiding a lie. She was hiding a truth; one which she could not risk revealing without incriminating herself as the person responsible for Setsuna's sexual assault. It was a deed too prominent in her thoughts to be tucked away into some inaccessible corner of her mind during a Diarium Ejus reading.

_Damn it all to hell_, thought Haruna.

"Uhhh... I... can't agree to that," said Haruna regretfully, knowing that declining Ayaka's offer made her look every bit the liar that everyone claimed she was.

"Of course you can't," said Ayaka, shaking her head with disappointment. "And you still wonder why you're thought of as untrustworthy. You could learn a thing or two from Yuesetsu, Saotome-san... assuming that you have an interest in reforming and becoming an honest girl. Behave yourself, all right?" Ayaka patted Haruna on the shoulder, excused herself and returned to the crowd surrounding Yuesetsu.

"Guys?" said Haruna. "Guys? Anybody?" Haruna noticed a flash of spiky red hair in the crowd. To Haruna, it was a beacon of hope and salvation. "_Asakura!_ Hey! Asakura!" Like herself, Kazumi could be a bit of a charlatan when she wanted and knew how to discern truth from falsehoods. With Konoka right behind her, Haruna swam through the crowd of girls and placed her hand on Kazumi's shoulder and spun the reporter around to face her. "Asakura, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME. _You're_ not like the rest of these sheep. You're a go-getter! You think outside of the box! You've got a Type-A personality! In short, you're just like me! _You_ believe that I'm telling the truth, don't you?"

Kazumi gently removed Haruna's hand from her shoulder.

"Are you really dating Konoka?" asked Kazumi.

The question made Haruna flinch.

"_Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying?_" asked Haruna. "**Yes, I'm really dating Konoka!**"

Kazumi looked at Konoka, then back at Haruna and then closed her eyes while holding her chin as she assessed the situation.

"I... I'm sorry, Paru, but like the others said, it seems likelier that you're just trying to help Konoka save face."

"What? You can't be serious! Asakura-sama, I'm _begging_ you!" said Haruna as she held Kazumi's upper arms with both hands and squeezed them. "You've got to believe me! I'm telling you the truth! Interview me! Ask me anything you want! I'll give you full disclosure to print anything I say! You're the only one who has the power to help me win back my credibility!"

"_Our_ credibility," said Konoka as she scratched her forehead.

"_Our_ credibility!" said Haruna. "Please don't abandon me in my time of need, Asakura-sama! You saw how well speaking out against Yuesetsu worked out for me! They're untouchable! I've got no one left to turn to. If you don't help me, I'm sunk!"

"Look," said Kazumi, "I'm sorry but even if I did believe you, I have a duty as a journalist to go where the hottest story is and, as you can see, the consensus is that Yuesetsu is **the** hot story." Kazumi pried Haruna's hands from her upper arms and stepped back slowly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get an interview with Yuesetsu for the evening edition of The Mahora Times."

"Asakura-sama?" called out Haruna as she saw her only hope meld into the herd of sheep. "_Asakura-sama?_"

Haruna's mouth hung open in disbelief. She sank to her knees and looked up at the ceiling.

_Kami-sama?_ thought Haruna. _Is this punishment for what I did to Setsuna?_

"Didn't I say that this was a bad idea?" asked Konoka. "And I didn't even need to do a tarot reading to foresee it. Maybe next time you'll have the sense to listen to me when I have a gut feeling about something."

"B-but..."

"Paru-chan, sweetheart, we've lost," said Konoka. "It's time to pack it in and call it quits. Now please sit down and be quiet. I'm embarrassed enough as it is." Konoka walked back to her desk, sat down and rested her head upon her arms to sulk and fume quietly.

Unfortunately for Konoka, Haruna never learned how to fume quietly. If there was nothing left to lose, she would let it all hang out.

"_Is __**everyone**__ in this class on drugs?" _asked Haruna out loud as she pulled on her hair._ "Konoka's the freaking dean's granddaughter! And I'm Haruna Saotome, manga-ka extraordinaire! We were epic individually and we're epic __**squared**__ combined! How is Yuesetsu the hot story here? Harukono is the hottest story of the decade! Why isn't anyone listening to me? __**FUCK! You idiots! You morons! You stupid, dimwitted, gullible, shit-for-brains, Egg-reading bimbo sheep! You**_— whoa."

The class was no longer facing Yuesetsu. They were now facing Haruna and an eerie wave of raw chi emanated from them which caused a heat distortion effect that impressed Setsuna.

"I **warned** you about that mouth of yours, Saotome-san," said Ayaka. "yet you refused to heed my advice and behave yourself!" said Ayaka. "And just who do you think you are to call us stupid? My test scores are much higher than yours on average!"

"So are mine!" said Satomi.

"Mine, too!" said Ako.

"Ours, too! said Fūka and Fumika.

"Oh, _screw_ you! I'll accept that from _Iincho-san_ , said Haruna as she waved her open hand outward to them, "but I won't accept being talked down to about test scores by girls who can't even pass a **pencil** test, okay? Come talk to me when you've left the Sisterhood of the Fried Eggs!"

Ayaka was shocked by Haruna's mean-spirited verbal attack on her small breasted classmates.

"Of all the obnoxious..." said Ayaka.

Satomi, Ako and the Narutaki twins flinched at the insult and sneered angrily at Haruna as they simultaneously and reflexively crossed their arms in front of their chests.

"Kh!" spat Satomi.

"That was completely uncalled for," grumbled Ako.

"Don't let her get to you, Ako," said Akira, hoping to keep her dear friend out of harm's way.

"You're so MEAN, Paru!" wept Fūka and Fumika as they rubbed tears from their eyes.

"Paru, you made the twins cry!" said Sakurako.

"How dare you make them cry?" asked Madoka.

"Yeah! That's our job!" said Misa. "But when _we_ make them cry, we only do it by scaring them, not by hurting their feelings!"

"STOP SAYING THAT AS IF THAT'S ANY BETTER!" shouted the twins at the cheerleaders.

"What's a pencil test?" asked Setsuna, whispering into Yue's ear. Yue shook her head and waved off the question.

"It's stupid," said Yue. "I'll explain it to you later."

"So first you try to trick us and now you insult us because we're too smart to fall for your lies?" asked Madoka. "That's messed up, Paru."

"Do you think you can get away with treating us like garbage when we outnumber you twelve to one?" asked Yūna. Haruna would have confirmed Yūna's estimate by counting heads but she was afraid of surpassing it.

"J-Just chillax a minute, guys," said Haruna. "I was just letting off a little steam but I'm better now, okay? It's cool."

"No, it is **not** cool," said Ayaka. "We won't forgive such rudeness, will we, ladies?"

"_NO!_" cried the mob.

"What are you going to do?" asked Haruna nervously.

"I intend to make an example of you, Saotome-san," declared Ayaka. "Attention, ladies of 3-A! As class representative, I officially approve the use of any and all means of teaching Saotome-san a lesson... and the more extreme the measure taken, the better!"

"Now, now... let's not do anything hasty," suggested Haruna.

"Hakase-san. Izumi-san. Fūka-san. Fumika-san," said Ayaka. "The four of you were the most grievously wounded by the accused's words so I'd like to hear your suggestions first: what shall Saotome-san's punishment be?"

"Make her kneel in uncooked rice for an hour," said Satomi.

"That's such a waste of food, though," said Satsuki.

"Not to mention that we don't have an hour until first bell," said Ayaka. "Have you got an idea, Izumi-san?"

"Um... we should... throw her in the gymnasium swimming pool," said Ako.

"What? That's lame!" said Fūka. "I'll bet Akira helped you come up with that one."

"_She did not!_" declared a flustered Ako. "Can you think of something better?"

"Way better! Snap her bra strap really hard a hundred times!" shouted Fūka.

"Spank her 'til her butt cheeks glow red!" shouted Fumika.

"Steal her panties and throw them out the window!" shouted Fūka.

"Hold her down and tickle her 'til she pees herself!" shouted Fumika.

"Give her enemas until she-"

"Guys, _guys!_ Hold on a sec! What is _up_ with all of those perverted ideas?" asked a V-tear sporting Haruna as she held her skirt tautly against her thighs and backed away from her soon-to-be assailants. "What happened to beating the crap out of me like a normal angry mob?"

"**Good idea!**" said the mob – in which the loudest voice was Kū Fei's.

"_Aaaaaaah!_ What did I just say?!" asked Haruna rhetorically.

"All in favor of a straightforward beatdown?" asked

"AYE!" shouted the majority of the class.

"Then we're in agreement," said Ayaka.

Haruna did a double take.

"Wait, what? We are _not_ in agreement!" cried Haruna. "You didn't call out the 'all opposed' vote! Nay! I vote hell nay to any kind of beatdown! And so do Nodoka and Konoka! That's at least three nays right there!"

"Here are the ground rules that I want everyone to follow," said Ayaka.

"_DONT IGNORE ME!_" cried Haruna as she flailed her arms up and down.

"Punches to the head, throat, bosom and pelvic region are off limits but everything else is a fair target" said Ayaka. "Stomping is acceptable as long as you use the entire sole of the foot. No heel-only stomps and no kicking."

Sayo floated through Haruna's torso from behind and spoke into her ear.

"You're lucky we have Asakura-san to write your obituary, Paru-sama," said Sayo as she closed her eyes and clasped her palms together. "I'm _so_ jealous."

Haruna considered activating her card to raise her defense but deduced that doing so would only give her classmates with probationary contracts ample justification for activating their own cards to increase their offense, thereby turning their piddly junior high girl blows into attacks she would actually feel. Furthermore, Haruna had made the mistake of getting on Ako's bad side and her Mysterious Syringe artifact had the potential to multiply her classmates' damage output even further.

She thought of drawing something to help her but no matter how quickly she could draw when her contract was activated, she still had to activate it first and some of her fellow ministra could move faster than she could without the aid of magic. The golem drawings she had saved in her stock pages were either too ineffectual, too dangerous or too large for use in a classroom where mundanes might see them.

"Before you mash Saotome into paste," said Chisame, "I just have one question for her: what's wrong with reading Egg?" Chisame was both a reader and subscriber of many different girls' fashion magazines, Egg included – a fact she would readily deny. "I've seen _you_ leafing through an issue of Egg before."

"And I've seen you read FRUiTS!" added Sakurako.

"And Love Berry," said Akira. "You borrowed one of Ako's issues of Love Berry... and hey, I don't think you ever gave it back to her, either. Ako? Did Saotome return your magazine?"

"Now that you mention it, no," said Ako. "She didn't."

"That was _months_ ago!" said Akira. "_Saotome-san, you're a liar, a large breast elitist and... a bad borrower!_" Haruna gulped at the sight of Akira's extreme justice face.

_If that beanpole Akira's going to join the mob, I can kiss away any ideas about escape, _thought Haruna. _I might have to get on my knees and beg my way out of this one._

"Why is Men's Egg called Men's Egg anyway?" asked Asuna with no small degree of overenunciation. "If _Egg_ is a magazine for girls, shouldn't the name of the boys' magazine be... _Sperm?_"

No one laughed at Asuna's unfunny comedic observation. Haruna noticed that all eyes were now off her and she took this opportunity to slowly skulk away to the front door to flee her executioners. They wanted her ass and that was one thing she wasn't peddling.

_Keep saying stupid stuff a little bit longer, Asuna_, thought Haruna as she crept onward centimeter by centimeter.

"No?" petitioned Asuna. "Sperm magazine? Not funny? Subscribers would have issues of Sperm delivered to their bed at... night when they're... asleep. The... noc... turnal... edition." Asuna hung her head and walked back to her desk where she sat and laid her head upon her arms to sulk beside Konoka.

"I don't get it," said Fumika.

"It's _Asuna_, Fumika; you're not alone," said Misora.

"Asuna-san made a reference to the sperm present in the semen that forms in a boy's testes and leave the body naturally during nocturnal emissions and the eggs that form in a girl's ovaries and, when unfertilized, leave the body naturally during the menstrual cycle. She suggested that, in keeping with their strategy of naming the girls' magazine after the female reproductive cell, the publishers should name the boys' magazine after the male reproductive cell."

"See? _Chachamaru_ thought it was funny," yelled Asuna from her desk.

"My conversation log indicates that I said nothing to suggest that I found your observation to be humorous," said Chachamaru. "You have misconstrued my understanding of your observation as approval."

"Ugh!" moaned Asuna as she dropped her head back into her arms and returned to her sulking.

"I've got _eggs_ in my body?" asked a circle-eyed Fumika as she looked down at her torso.

"Of _course_ you do, dummy!" said Fūka, embarrassed by her sister's ignorance. "You get them all the time just like any other teenage girl!"

"Does _your_ body get eggs all the time, too, Chachamaru-san?" asked Fumika.

"No," said Chachamaru as she gently rubbed her own abdominal region. "Only spam."

The majority of the class laughed at Chachamaru's witty remark; even the humorless Chisame was chuckling, unable to resist a good internet-themed play on words. The gynoid smiled softly at the approval of her peers but she felt a twinge of depression as she realized for the first time since it was verified that she had a soul – that she was unable to reproduce.

"You're too funny, Chachamaru-san!" said Natsumi as she wiped away a tear.

"Hey!" cried Asuna. "You stole my punchline, Chachamaru! Egg and sperm, eggs and spam – they're practically the same!"

"Asuna, deliver papers... not one-liners," said Yūna. "Please."

"You have some very unHappy Material, Asuna-san," said Ayaka, "and it needs to Go!"

"You are popular enough with who you are already, Asuna-dono," said Kaede. "'twould be prudent to be satisfied with that."

"Your comedy's bad and you should feel bad," heckled Misora.

Red-faced, Asuna climbed on top of her desk and made a last ditch effort to win back the room.

"WE SHOULD TAR AND FEATHER PARU!" cried Asuna, pointing at the temporarily forgotten manga-ka who had not yet made it to the door.

"KYAAAAAAA!" screamed Haruna, Nodoka and Konoka.

"GET OFF YOUR DESK, ASUNA-SAN!" shouted Ayaka.

"YEAHHHHHH!" cheered the class. The suggestion was gleefully embraced by all of the more rambunctious students and even Chisame, Evangeline and Mana sported sadistic smirks in favor of this course of action. Having accomplished her goal, Asuna obediently sat back in her desk, no longer needing the elevation it provided her.

"That's a GREAT idea, Asuna!" said Makie.

"_That is NOT a great idea!_" cried Haruna.

"Who's got tar, though?" asked Fūka.

"Nobody! So let's call the whole thing off!" suggested Haruna.

"They're not _exactly_ pine tar," said Satomi as she lifted a medium sized crate from the floor and set it on her desk, "but I've got enough birdlime pellets here to sufficiently coat the body of anyone mean enough to belittle- I mean, _insult_ my mammary development." Satomi opened the crate and brought it over to Chachamaru. "Chachamaru, engage projectile launcher. Activate ammunition loader, target Paru and standby for further instructions."

"Yes, Hakase-san," said Chachamaru. The gynoid's right arm glowed momentarily and in its place was a device that looked like a cross between a hair dryer and an assault rifle. A compartment opened up on the projectile launcher and Satomi began loading the birdlime pellets two at a time.

"You rock, Hakase!" shouted Yūna.

"Oh, come _**ON!" **_cried Haruna. "No way! Who brings a case of _birdlime pellets_ with them to class?"

"That's one ingredient down," said Ayaka. "Does anyone know where we can obtain some feathers?"

Haruna breathed a sigh of relief, secure in the knowledge that no one in class would carry something as specialized as feathers on their person – until a bolt of lightning pierced her brain that reminded her that one girl in class _grew_ feathers on her person.

"_A-TA-TA-ta-ta..._ Yo! _Feaaa_-therrrs!" sang Setsuna followed by a prominent groan. "I have plenty of feathers right here! Take as many as you need!" A large pile of white feathers sat on the teacher's desk beside Setsuna. Sheets of tears marked her smiling face as she quickly tucked her shirt back inside her skirt's waistband. It was a small sacrifice to make for such wholesome time-honored family entertainment and her sore wings would recover from their plucking in about a day or so. Hopefully, there would be no emergencies that required her to take to the air within that time frame.

"Why do you have all of these feathers with you, Sakurazaki-san?" asked Fumika. "Did you bring the stuffing of a torn pillow to repair it in Home Ec?" The whole class knew of the existence of magic but only a select few were aware of Setsuna's crow tribe heritage. Those who knew about it kept their theory to themselves.

"Did you peek into my bedroom window last night, Fumika-san?" asked Setsuna with a grin. "That is _exactly_ why I have these feathers! You're a competent little detective." Setsuna patted Fumika's head, hoping that her classmate wouldn't detect any blood on the tip of some of the quills.

"Eh-_heh!_" laughed Fumika as she blushed and smiled from the praise of a popular student.

"Just don't ask me how we tore it in the first place," said Setsuna as she grinned and gave a knowing wink to her new fans. Yue closed her eyes, opened her mouth slightly and pressed her palms against her cheeks in staged embarrassment. The Yuesetsu army hooted and yowled with approval as they deciphered Setsuna's innuendo. "I'll just buy a new pillow." Setsuna's grin melted from her face as she looked in Haruna's direction. "After all, what is a pillow compared to the importance of discipline?"

"Well said, Sakurazaki-san!" said Ayaka as she stood beside Setsuna. "To witness such selflessness makes me proud to be your class representative. You're an inspiration to us all." Ayaka gave Setsuna a hearty slap on the back and walked away.

Tears spouted outward from the corners of her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling and could have sworn that stars were only visible in the night sky. Her wings were sensitive enough to feel the slap even though they were stored away in her body. Yue sidled next to Setsuna and spoke to her under her breath as she pointed to the feather pile.

"Are those...?"

"Yes," replied Setsuna.

The Narutaki twins raced around the classroom multiple times, back and forth, in front of Yue and Setsuna with their usual youthful exuberance.

"From your...?"

"Yes."

"So you just...?"

"Yes."

"Ouch. You really must hate Haruna."

"She ruined my life, Yue. I'd cut my own arm off if it meant someone would pick it up and beat her senseless with it."

"That's... dark."

The Naturaki twins raced past them again.

"Plus she called me a chicken," noted Setsuna.

Fūka stopped running and stood before Yue and Setsuna.

"You guys are gay," said Fūka with a wide smile.

Yue and Setsuna looked at one another and then returned their attention to Fūka.

"Yes," said Yue. "We know. Thank you for reminding us, though."

The girls of the mob gathered around the teacher's desk and each one carefully scooped up an armful of feathers before stepping away from the desk and allowing the next girl access to the pile.

"P-Please don't do this, everyone!" said Nodoka as she ran to the teacher's desk and blocked it with her arms and body.

"Miyazaki-san! Do you wish to be tarred and feathered along with the accused for obstruction of justice?" asked Ayaka.

"Ulp! N-N-No, not really," peeped Nodoka.

"Then do yourself a favor and **stay out of our way**," barked Ayaka.

"Y-Y-Yes, Iincho-san! Sorry, Haruna," said Nodoka as she bowed to Ayaka and quickly sat back in her desk.

Konoka admired Nodoka for at least trying to help Haruna. For Konoka, there was no point in appealing to the class when they had already determined her guilt in this matter.

Yue looked at the mob and felt that it could use another heavy hitter. If she guessed correctly, she would have one at her beck and call in a moment.

"I'd like you to join them, Tatsumiya-san," said Yue.

"Unless you're hiring me to do so, I believe that I'll remain seated," replied Mana.

"Come on, it'll be fun, bitch," said Yue.

Mana's eyes grew wide at the unexpected insult from her classmate.

"OOOOOOO_**OOOOOOO**_OOOOOOOOH!" whooted the classroom. Even those who weren't aware of Mana's demon half knew that she had a rep as a badass fighter. The girls standing between Mana and Yue moved out of the way until they reached a minimum safe distance. Haruna had crept a little less than halfway to the door but found that she couldn't bring herself to leave the classroom if it meant missing Yue getting her ass handed to her by Mana.

"_Yue, what in Kami-sama's name are you doing?_" whispered Setsuna. "_You're not flirting with danger when you disrespect Tatsumiya-san; you're having a one-night stand with it!_"

"I know what I'm doing," whispered Yue. "But... just in case I don't, would you protect me? Please?"

_A fine time to ask for protection!_ thought Setsuna.

"Relax, guys," said Yue. "It's not what you think. Mana's proud to be a bitch. She's not offended by the word. She said so... and I encourage all of you to call her a bitch, too, if you feel like it. You _did_ say that you took pride in being a bitch, did you not, Tatsumiya?"

"I did say _that_," said Mana, "but I don't remember giving you permission to call me a bitch whenever you please or to invite the _whole class_ to call me one." Mana rose from her desk and walked toward Yue with some bad intentions. Spotting several of her classmates trying to record her with their phones, Mana pressed a button on her own cell phone which prevented all audio and video recordings within a 100 meter radius.

No one outside of those in the classroom needed to see what she was about to do.

Setsuna placed herself between Yue and Mana, holding the still sheathed Yūnagi out before her. As skilled as she was with her blade, Setsuna was just as skilled with using Yūnagi as a bokken.

"Tatsumiya-san," said Setsuna. "I don't support Yue's words but I ask that you ignore them. If you mean her harm, you'll have to go through me first."

"She threw down the gauntlet, Sakurazaki-san," said Mana with a smile. "You can get in my way or you can step aside but your choice will mean nothing to me. Either way, your 'girlfriend' will be taught a lesson in respect."

"But Tatsumiya, you said that I needn't fear offending you if I called you a bitch," said Yue. "Now, if you were _lying_ to me, I can understand why you'd be upset and I would apologize profusely to you for my rudeness in front of the whole class..."

"It's too late for apologies, Ayase," said Mana as she leaned to the right and spoke around Setsuna. The caramel-skinned sharpshooter did not smile as she looked into Setsuna's eyes. "Sakurazaki-san, if you're going to make the first move, I suggest you do so quickly. I promise you that it will be the only move you'll get." Mana's demon eye was now visible and Setsuna tightened her grip around Yūnagi, wondering how far the sharpshooter was willing to take this with the classroom crawling with innocent bystanders.

"...but then," continued Yue, "a merc who's prone to lying must not inspire a lot of confidence in her clientele."

Mana's demon eye melted from view along with her intimidating grimace.

"C-Clientele?" asked Mana, visibly shaken by Yue's use of the word.

"Well," said Yue, "I mean, if a merc can't be trusted to speak the truth plainly to people... like, say, giving out her real age or admitting that she's actually a junior high student in a school which happens to be teeming with powerful law-abiding mages..."

Mana flinched as Yue's ace in the hole became clear. This was about a B word that was far uglier than bitch.

Blackmail.

"...then can she be trusted to use discretion?" continued Yue. "Or to follow a contract to the letter? Or to keep the names of her clients confidential? You know; all of those important _adult_ responsibilities that would never be placed in the hands of a junior high student. Why, if word got out to those in... certain circles... that you were dishonest, I shudder to think how you would make ends meet."

"What is she talking about?" asked Ako.

"I don't know," replied Akira.

Mana knew exactly what Yue meant. By 'certain circles', Yue meant the underground community from which an overwhelming majority of Mana's jobs came. With the help of Yue's artifact, an underground information broker would be a cinch to find and said broker would definitely pay Yue handsomely for dirt on the best gun-for-hire in Japan. Once that happened, her credibility in the underground wouldn't be worth a 5-yen slug.

"But then, you also work part time at your family's shrine, don't you, Tatsumiya?" asked Yue.

"You know I do," muttered Mana.

"How's that working out for you these days? Think you can afford your lifestyle on a shrine maiden's part time earnings?"

"Not by any stretch of the imagination."

If her merc jobs dried up, Mana technically had enough money in her savings to last her for three years but due to the substantial penalty for early withdrawal that her bank charged, touching that account would leave her with a fraction of her balance. She'd either have to leave Mahora and move to the magical world where her damaged rep wouldn't follow her or start a mundane career with a salary high enough to support the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed.

There was no place for instant ramen noodles on her dining room table.

"I thought not," said Yue. "So! We're back to the ten million yen question: _**Were**_ you lying to me, Tatsumiya?"

"No, but-"

"Then you do take pride in being a bitch... and if _I_ needn't fear offending you by calling you a bitch, why should anyone else? Think about it."

Mana felt that it would be in her best interests to concede this point to the Baka Leader since she was in no position to fight her on it.

"They shouldn't," conceded Mana with a grin. "You're right."

"Damned straight I'm right... bitch," said Yue. Upon hearing the word aimed at her once again, Mana slowly inhaled a draught of air through her nostrils as deeply as her lungs would allow her to draw and then released it at the same speed.

_You're a professional, Tatsumiya_, thought Mana as she fought the nearly irresistible urge to fire a few wax bullets into Yue's irksome face. _Don't lose your cool. It's not worth starting your career over from scratch. Just play along and see what comes of it. There may be a better way to handle this._

"Iincho-san, are you going to stand there and let a classmate speak to another classmate like that while in your presence?" asked Mana as a vein bulged in her forehead.

"While I don't claim to understand all of Yue-san's words, she did made one valid point, Tatsumiya-san," said Ayaka. "If you were being truthful when you said you weren't offended by the word, then it's not my place to be offended on your behalf. Technically, when taken out of context, it isn't a profane word and I see no reason to reprimand Yue-san when she hasn't said anything offensive to me. Do you see what I'm saying, bitch?"

Over half the class howled with laughter at Ayaka playfully indulging in this new game.

_This is not good_, thought Mana as she shifted her jaw pensively. _I'm a laughingstock now._

_Even Ayaka's getting laughs_, thought Asuna.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Ayaka as she held the fingertips of her right hand to her lips. "Where did that come from? Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Please excuse me, Tatsumiya-san. I couldn't help myself."

Mana turned to face Yue and smiled at her. Yue returned the smile.

_**THE BLACK WRATH OF HELL WILL FALL FROM THE SKIES! **_screamed Mana internally._** BAT WINGS SWEEPING YOUR GRAVE WITH BLACK SMOKE, DEATH AND HELLLLL!**_

Rather than focus on the laughter of her classmates which came at her expense, Mana entertained herself by imagining herself walking through a field of burning rubble where she happened upon a smoldering skull with soot-soiled lavender braids and twin lavender ponytails – and crushing it flat with a single stomp of her boot.

Mana approached the teacher's desk and gathered some feathers from it.

"I'll join the tarring and feathering as you wish, Ayase-san," said Mana. If she couldn't make Yue suffer then, by Kami-sama, she was going to make _some_one suffer – and perhaps her participation would discourage her classmates from calling her by her new name.

"Told you I knew what I was doing," whispered Yue nonchalantly to Setsuna.

_This can't end well_, thought Setsuna, _but Yue certainly has guts to taunt Tatsumiya and walk away unscathed._

"Oh, geez, we almost forgot about Paru!" said Yūna as she and the other girls armed with feathers surrounded Haruna. Chachamaru had her launcher at the ready, waiting for her creator's order.

_They're really going to do this to me!_ thought Haruna. Before her punishment came, she had to know one thing.

"ASUNAAAA!" cried Haruna. "WHY ME?"

"Sorry, Paru," said Asuna as she excused herself with a hand held to her face, "but the first rule of standup is to know your audience. They already wanted a piece of your ass. All I did was point out which cheek was the juiciest to bite."

"That... sounded really gay," said Haruna.

Haruna looked at Konoka and Nodoka, the only allies she had in the room, for any kind of help. Konoka shook her head slowly and bit her lower lip as she saw the desperation in her girlfriend's eyes, unable to think of a way to help her. Suddenly, Haruna noticed that Nodoka gave her a wink. Nodoka swiftly leaned to her left and fell out of her seat, making a loud sound as her body hit the floor along with several heavy textbooks.

"AWOO!" cried Nodoka. The class turned their heads to look at what had caused the sudden noise.

"Nodoka, are you all right?" asked Ako as she dropped her feathers on the floor and ran to her deskmate's side. Zazie slid head first across the floor on her back and caught every feather that fell from where Ako had dropped them, officially throwing her hat in the ring as an additional Haruna executioner. Not wasting a single second of this much needed distraction, Haruna ran out of the classroom door, into the hallway and out of sight.

"Paru's getting away!" shouted Yūna.

"Chachamaru! Pursue and immobilize target then fire as needed to carry out the mission!" said Satomi.

"Yes, Hakase-san," said Chachamaru. The gynoid ran after Haruna with blinding speed and the other girls followed as quickly as they could.

"Get her!" urged Yūna. "But don't make a peep or a teacher might catch you in the hallway!" The girls ran through the door to follow Chachamaru and Haruna. While Sayo couldn't grab any feathers, she flew after the mob to witness the carnage herself.

Yue placed her hands across Setsuna's hand and held it firmly.

"Don't get any ideas," said Yue. "You're staying right here with me."

"Awww," whimpered Setsuna as she pouted and hugged Yue from behind. "You always take all the fun out of our relationship." Participating in the tarring and feathering would not have counted as "harming" Haruna so it was technically permissible by Konoka's leave, if not Yue's. Setsuna playfully goosed her controlling play-girlfriend as payback for denying her permission to humiliate Haruna.

"Eep!" shrieked Yue as her feet left the floor for a split second when she hopped forward. Holding her buttocks, Yue turned around and narrowed her eyes at Setsuna's naughty behavior, stifling a smile. Konoka watched this exchange and a tiny part of her died; she had never been goosed by Setsuna.

An awkward silence kidnapped the classroom after Yūna, the last of the tar and feather mob girls, ran out the door.

"That was a mean thing to suggest, Asuna-san," said Nodoka. "There are some things you just don't do to friends. Right, Konoka?"

"R-Right," said Konoka despite the glass house she had recently moved into by selling out Setsuna.

"Who, Paru?" asked Asuna as she closed her eyes. "Paru's not my friend. She's just my classmate." Asuna opened her left eye and smirked. "I only put up with her because she's your friend... in... the Library Exposition Club."

Asuna shrieked with laughter as both Nodoka and Yue jumped her and tickled her mercilessly for deliberately naming their club incorrectly. This spectacle got a few giggles out of the handful of girls that remained in the classroom but none of them were especially noteworthy.

_Are you there, Kami-sama?_ thought Konoka. _It's me, Konoka. I'm probably not your favorite person in the world right now but if you could keep Paru-chan safe, I'd really appreciate it. If you could let her escape altogether, that would be even more awesome but I'm not sure how many miracles you're giving out today._

Yūna was the first one back in the classroom. Nodoka walked back to her seat while Yue returned to Setsuna's side. Yūna was followed by Misora who triumphantly did a victory lap around the classroom with a radiant smile. Sakurako was next, followed by Misa, Zazie, Madoka and the others.

"Did you get her?" asked Chisame.

"Oh, we _got_ her, all right," said an out of breath Sakurako as she high-fived Misa and made a victory sign. "Hakase, your birdlime worked like a charm."

Everyone had returned except for Haruna.

_Don't worry, Kami-sama,_ thought Konoka as she sighed. _I understand that it was your will._

"She didn't put up much of a fight when we caught her," said Misora, "even after we took her top off."

"WHAT?!" shouted Nodoka.

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" asked Konoka, who was pretty sure that toplessness had stopped being part of God's will post-Garden of Eden. The healing mage and the bookstore scrambled out of their desks and frantically searched around the classroom for a blanket or something else that would serve as temporary emergency clothing.

"We let her keep her bra on," said Madoka.

"Why would you take her top off?" asked Chisame.

"If we left her top on, the feathers would have stuck to it and she could change right out of it with only her arms and legs feathered and sticky," said Misa.

"And her hair ruined," said Chisame.

_OH MY GOD! HER HAIR!_ thought Konoka as she began to unbutton her own vest to use for her shirtless feathered girlfriend.

_If Haruna loses her ahoge, she'll make the whole school pay the price_, thought Nodoka.

"Oh, no," said Sakurako. "Chachamaru-san didn't hit her head with the birdlime pellets. That stuff must be impossible to get out of your hair without cutting it off. We might be vengeful but she's still a girl and there are some lines you just shouldn't cross."

"Shiina, Saotome has hair that goes down to her ass," explained Chisame. "If she has birdlime on her body, what's keeping her hair from sticking to it?"

Misa, Madoka and Sakurako looked at one another in dismay.

"Uh..." said Misa.

"Didn't think about that, did you?" asked Chisame.

"Oopsie," said Madoka.

"_Oh_, yeah; _you're_ cheerleaders, all right," said Chisame.

"OJOU-SAMA! **STOP!**" shouted Setsuna as she saw Konoka starting to run toward the door. Konoka heard Setsuna but ignored her and kept running. The next thing she saw was Setsuna dash in front of the door with her arms held out in an obvious attempt to prolong Haruna's hallway embarrassment. Konoka skidded to a stop and before she had the chance to order Setsuna to stand aside, the door suddenly swung open and struck Setsuna in the back. "_**KH!**_" The swordswoman was hunched over with her hands on her slightly bent knees, digging her fingers into her legs to distract her brain from registering the shooting pain she felt from her aching wings. She took a few steps away from the door to allow the person who had opened the door to enter. The door opened and in walked Shizuna with a file folder under her arm, peering around to see who she had inadvertently struck.

"Sakurazaki, are you all right?" asked Shizuna. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry but I didn't know that you were behind the door."

"_Quite... all right... never... felt... better!_," squeaked Setsuna between clenched teeth as she gingerly walked back to Yue. The enemy was somewhere covered in her feathers. No pain could deny her this joyful news.

Konoka hid her mouth behind her vest as she watched Setsuna shuffle back to Yue. Her bodyguard had saved her from being injured by the door.

_Setsuna still cares about me_, she thought. This discovery made the dying flame in Konoka's soul flicker a little more brightly.

"All right, ladies," said Shizuna. "I'm substituting for Negi-sensei this morning since you seem intent on embarrassing him with your silly girlish pranks. Now, I want everyone to help clean up the mess you made in here and, when you're done, the hallway as well. Only when you've finished will you then get to your seats so that I can take attendance. Your first period teachers will be notified of the reason for your tardiness."

"Yes, Shizuna-sensei," said the class.

_So much for helping Paru-chan_, thought Konoka as she put her vest back on.

Ayaka bit down on a corner of her Negi Springfield handkerchief as sheets of tears poured down her face. This would be a Negi-less morning that she'd never get back; a moment of the child teacher's precious youth torn from her by both the cruel sands of time and two pillow-breaking classmates who couldn't wait until after homeroom to announce their stupid relationship.

"You heard Shizuna-sensei, ladies," directed Ayaka. "I want this floor spotless."

"That includes you, Yukihiro-san," said Shizuna as she pressed a broom into Ayaka's hands. "As class representative, 3-A's behavior – or its lack thereof – is your responsibility."

Not only would Ayaka have to go a morning without seeing her favorite teacher in homeroom but now she would have to labor like a common household servant.

Reparative measures would be taken immediately.

Yue and Setsuna stood and watched Ayaka as she approached them with a smile. They returned the smile awkwardly and cried out when Ayaka gave them each a punch in the upper arm. Ayaka then proceeded to sweep up the feathers in the classroom along with the others.

_At least I'm spared the indignity of having to labor before the eyes of my beloved Negi-sensei_, thought Ayaka. _Truly, that would be a punishment worse than a thousand deaths._

Yue and Setsuna winced and rubbed their arms, positive that their Iincho's attacks would leave a black-and-blue with the fashionable yellow border that all the cool kids wore.

"She's stronger than she looks, isn't she?" asked a dot-eyed Setsuna.

"You're not kidding!" said Yue as she flexed the fingers on her battered arm. "I can't feel my fingers move."

The sound of snickering filled the classroom and caused Yue and Setsuna to turn around to see what had happened. Haruna had returned, looking every bit as bad as Konoka and Nodoka had feared she would. She was coated with a ridiculous amount of feathers and the strands of her long hair which hadn't snapped were stuck to her shoulders, chest and back. She was surprisingly calm for someone who had just been put through five minutes of hell.

"Saotome?" asked Shizuna. "What on earth...?" Raising an eyebrow, Shizuna turned to look at 3-A who opted not to return her gaze. "I can't imagine how this happened, can you, ladies?" The class whistled as they worked, suppressing their smiles and ignoring the question altogether. "I didn't witness anything so I can't punish you for doing this... but I'm going to keep a much closer eye on you so had better watch yourselves, 3-A."

Yue felt her cell phone vibrate in her vest pocket. She extracted her phone and looked at the screen. It was a text message from Haruna which read:

**THE AUDITORIUM. AFTER SCHOOL. **

Yue forwarded the message to Setsuna.

_These eight periods are going to fly by quickly_, thought Yue.

Haruna walked to Konoka and whispered into the healing mage's ear. Konoka nodded and the two girls approached Shizuna.

"Shizuna-sensei," said Konoka. "May I have permission to take Paru back to the dorm to help her clean up? She's in no condition to attend classes for the day."

"You may, Konoka-san," said Shizuna. "Thank you for volunteering."

Konoka and Haruna bowed to Shizuna, gathered their book bags and left the classroom, closing the door behind them.

"Shizuna-sensei?" said Fūka.

"Yes, what is it, Fūka-san?" asked Shizuna.

"Does fisting hurt?" asked Fūka.

"No," said Shizuna.

Not a word was spoken by any of the 3-A students in attendance until they were permitted to leave. Some were so disturbed that they couldn't speak until the next day.

_(Mana's angry rant-thought is a direct lift of a Stealth rant from the Sifl and Olly Show. If you're an artist and would like to draw some Between 13 and 15 fan art, I'd love to see it. If you'd like, I would be willing to post a link to your page featuring said art.)_


	14. Thank You For Stroking

"Ugh, getting this gunk off you is going to take all day," said Konoka as she walked down the academy corridor alongside the stoic feather-covered Haruna. "And it looks like we'll have to cut off some of your beautiful hair to do it, too. I know that our class can get a little crazy now and then but this is too much! They really took things too far this time. A girl's hair is her life. Does that sound shallow? Okay, so maybe a girl's hair isn't her _life_ exactly but it's an essential and sacred part of her appearance and yours is ruined." The healing mage was concerned about her girlfriend's eerie reticence following her ordeal and hoped that it wasn't out of anger at her inability to prevent her humiliating punishment that Haruna now held her tongue. The only thing more disconcerting than Haruna speaking nonstop was Haruna saying nothing at all and Konoka couldn't even begin to imagine the deviltry that was hatching in her girlfriend's brain. "You know something? I wonder if I can heal hair. I've never tried it before. It's not an injury but it's a part of the body so it's worth a shot. I wonder if a cut strand would qualify as being damaged or if it's just the snapped strands. You really shouldn't have thrown that tantrum back there, Paru-chan. I was upset, too, but losing your cool and insulting your friends is never a good solution. Are... you angry with me? Or hurt? Or... anything? Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm warning you ahead of time that I'm going to show you something that's almost certainly going to startle you," said Haruna, finally breaking her silence in a deadpan voice, "but I promise you that no harm will come to either of us so don't be afraid."

"What is it?" asked Konoka.

"I'm not supposed to tell you," said Haruna. "I'm only supposed to show you. Follow me... and I'll show you." Haruna's wording led Konoka to believe that another party was involved in this somehow and as her curiosity tended to get the better of her more often than not, she threw caution to the wind and followed.

Haruna and Konoka walked to the end the hallway, up the stairwell and to the door of the next highest floor's restroom where a sign which read _closed for repairs _hung from the plaque. Ignoring the sign, Haruna pushed the door open and entered. When both girls were in the restroom and the door was closed, Haruna turned around and faced Konoka.

"Are you ready?" asked Haruna.

"Yeah, I guess so," replied Konoka as she nervously fiddled with one of the ends of her necktie.

Haruna walked past the stalls and stood in front of the last one. She knocked on the stall door three times, waited a few seconds, knocked twice more, waited the same amount of time as before and then pounded her fist against the door once; the sound of which caused Konoka to flinch. In response to what appeared to be a secret knock, the stall door opened and out walked another Haruna, untouched by birdlime or feathers and clad in her pactio-registered miniskirted dominatrix outfit. She held her Imperium Graphices sketchbook in the crook of her arm and smiled widely.

"Sur-_priii_-iiiise!" sang the second Haruna to Konoka. Konoka's circular eyes, open mouth and dropped book bag were all the proof Haruna needed to see that Konoka was indeed surprised.

"Konoka-sama has been delivered as you requested, master," said the first Haruna.

"Holy shit, is _that_ what I would have looked like?" asked the second Haruna as she looked over her shabby-looking duplicate. "Fuck. Good work as always, Paru-sama Stunt Double-kun. You saved my ass again. Sorry for the shitty assignment."

"Meh, I've been through worse," said the golem as she shrugged with a bow and placed her master's book bag on the floor. "Stay sexy, master."

"Right back atcha, she-fox," said Haruna as she returned the bow and opened her sketchbook to a blank page. "RETURN!"

The first Haruna vanished which caused clumps of birdlime and feathers to fall to the floor. Haruna then turned to a different page in her sketchbook and summoned a host of tentacles that squirmed from her artifact which proceeded to pick up the mess and deposit it in the trash can. When the mess had been completely cleaned up, the tentacles vanished back to their page and Haruna closed her sketchbook. Konoka wouldn't trade her artifacts for the world but she had to admit that having practical and versatile magic at your fingertips was unquestionably an awesome thing.

"When I ran out of the classroom, I hid here and summoned my stunt double golem and sent it out to get caught by the mob to get tarred and feathered in my place," said Haruna with a wink, a smile and a thumbs up. "Since she brought you here, I assume that everyone believed that they got the real me."

"Yes, as far as I could tell," said Konoka with a smile of relief as she walked up to Haruna and gave her a hug which Haruna happily returned. "I'm so happy that you got away. You are so..."

"Amazing?" asked Haruna, standing back but still holding onto Konoka's upper arms. "Brilliant? Slender yet voluptuously curvy?" Haruna smiled and turned her upper body from side to side as she took her last guess, jiggling her adequately showcased breasts for Konoka's benefit.

"I was going to say 'resourceful'," said Konoka, brushing some stray hairs from her lover's face.

"In that case, I'll accept all of the above, but only because you insist." Haruna's cheerful smile faded away. "Kono-chan, there's no other way to say it: we've been screwed over royally... and by someone I never would have suspected had it in her to turn on me."

"Yue-chan," said Konoka.

"It doesn't take a person of my superior intellect to guess that Setsuna had a chance to talk with Yue before class today about... _things_. Why else would Yue have chosen that moment to do what she did?"

"So what do we do now, Paru-chan?" asked a panicked Konoka. "Yue-chan's not obligated to keep the you-know-what a secret like Secchan. If Yue-chan tells my grandpa, you're-"

"Not necessarily," said Haruna. "Now calm down for a second. If Yue was going to report me, she would have done so at the earliest possible opportunity and I would have been summoned to the headmaster's office before I came within a hundred meters of homeroom. Assuming that Yue knows everything... or at least knew enough to stage this whole Yuesetsu thing... then the question remains: why hasn't she reported me yet?" Haruna held her chin in her free hand as she tried to deduce Yue's motive but then threw her arm up in the air in dismissal of the unsolved mystery. "Assuming Yue doesn't tell me outright, I'm sure I'll figure it out."

"We're... talking to them?" asked Konoka.

"Yeah, I've arranged a meeting with Yue after school in the auditorium. It's under construction but the workers only work on it during school hours. Must be some union rule or something."

"Do you think she'll show?"

"Oh, she'll show. She's put too much work into screwing us over not to see this through to the end... whatever she thinks _that_ might be... and I'll bet that her brand new 'girlfriend' will come along, just in case. You'll come with me, won't you?"

"Y-Yes, of course. This involves me, too, after all. Do you think that... Yue-chan and Secchan are... really...?"

"I doubt it but I suppose anything's possible. Yue's never given me any indication that she's interested in girls. And Setsuna's not interested in any other girl but you. I was only a few meters away from them and I didn't even detect the slightest hint of love stench from either Yue or Setsuna. No, that had to be an act."

"Oh."

"Why? Surely it wouldn't matter to you if they really _were_ girlfriends... would it?"

"It would. Oh, but not in the way that _you're_ thinking. If Yue-chan and Secchan were a real couple, I _could_ be happy for them... but since they're not a real couple... well, Secchan can be a little naive. If Secchan started to get the wrong message about their relationship... she might end up getting hurt... and she's hurt enough as it is."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that. Setsuna's not an idiot. She has to know that Yue's straight so anything naughty would be off the menu."

"I don't mean that Secchan's going to jump Yue's bones... but... Secchan's emotionally vulnerable right now. That kind of closeness to someone... even if it's just for show... might cause her to develop some real feelings for her... and if Yue's unreceptive to those feelings... it could go badly."

"What difference does it make? Do you _want_ Setsuna to pine over you forever? It's **over** between the two of you. It isn't healthy to keep string-"

"Would you **stop** doing that?"

"Stop doing what?"

"Stop trying to tell me what to do or how to feel about Secchan. I gave in to you against my better judgment the last time you did that and look what happened!" Konoka's voice began to warp as she was close to crying. "_My friends and classmates think I'm a piece of shit! I have to go back in there tomorrow and face them every day knowing that! I'm not a dog, Haruna, so please don't treat me like one! I have my own mind and my own feelings and if I share them with you, I don't want you to dismiss them just because you're paranoid that any feelings I have for Secchan – which are __**platonic**__ feelings – are going to make me dump you in favor of her! I __**know**__ that it's over between Secchan and me, okay? No one knows that any better than I do except maybe Secchan herself! So when are you going to get it through your thick skull that I don't want to lose you?_"

Haruna quickly but gently hugged Konoka and held her tightly. Konoka began to sob a bit but her sorrow was mitigated by the warmth of her lover's body against her own. She knew in her heart that Haruna loved her dearly and being held like this was medicine for her aching soul.

"I'm sorry, shining star," said Haruna as she stroked the back of Konoka's head. "That's my insecurity showing. I play it cool but I'm really a coward when it comes to you. I promise to work on that, okay?"

"'kay," said Konoka.

"How are you feeling right now?"

"I'm scared... and nervous. And I would add hurt and betrayed to that list since Secchan made me out to be this colossal bitch in front of everyone... but since I hurt and betrayed her first, I can't say that I didn't have it coming. Everyone believes that I'm a bitch now... and I'm not so sure that they're wrong."

"_I_ don't believe you're a bitch so you shouldn't care what the rest of those bakas in class think... b-but if you do care, that's okay, too. We'll think of something to win them back and I promise you that your reputation will be restored. And speaking of bitches, can you _believe the way Yue fucked with Mana like that?_"

"I _know_, right? At first I was like 'Oh, I'd better get my artifact out because she is gonna slap the taste right out of Yue's mouth!' but then Mana backed down and then I was all 'OMG! Yue did NOT just call her a bitch AGAIN!'!"

"You just wait. Yue will have hell to pay – and Mana doesn't take credit cards."

Konoka blinked at Haruna's comment.

"Beloved? I know you were trying to be all clever just now but Mana actually does take credit cards."

"Really?"

"Yeah; you know those old fashioned imprinters that you slide with... the thing?" Both Konoka and Haruna moved their arms in unison to mimic the movement used in imprinting a card on carbon paper and Haruna understood what sort of machine Konoka meant. "Mana has one. Secchan told me that she carries it in her magic cleavage just in case."

"Okay, well, I stand corrected. So much for my awesome zinger."

"How about you? How are _you_ feeling? You seem to be doing okay."

"_Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh_... Not so bad, I guess. As you can see, I'm not tarred and feathered so there's plenty reason to be happy about that. And I've had some time to calm down and think while I've been hiding out. So... yeah, I'm as cool as I'm going to be, considering I'll be pounding a lavender-haired nail into the ground later on." Haruna opened her sketchbook and drew herself a new outfit: a maroon Mahora Academy jogging suit. Making sure her hair was tucked away out of sight, Haruna put her hood on, closed her eyes and hung her head slightly with a gloomy expression.

"Now I look like someone trying to hide their tarring and feathering damage," said Haruna as she smirked and opened one eye coyly. She picked up her book bag and gestured to Konoka to do the same. "Come on, let's go." Haruna headed for the restroom exit.

"Coming," said Konoka as she grabbed her book bag. She was about to follow Haruna when she saw that the manga-ka was turning left when their classroom was to the right. "Wait! Come back, come back. Where are we going?"

"To the locker room for our shoes," said Haruna as she reentered the restroom. "Then the train station and back to the dorm, just as I planned."

"But that would be cutting class, though," whined Konoka.

"I know but we _have_ to, baby," said Haruna. "It's just for today. I can't walk back into class looking squeaky clean five minutes after I was supposedly tarred and feathered. They'd suspect something was up. For all those morons know, they've already taught me a lesson so I'm not about to let on that I've actually eluded my punishment."

"I guess you're right."

"And Negi-kun excused us for the day, didn't he?"

"No."

"No?"

"We were excused but not by Negi-kun. Shizuna-sensei subbed for him."

"Shizuna-sensei?"

"Mm-hm. Why?"

Haruna looked out into the hallway and then manually ushered Konoka back inside.

"Do you remember what she was wearing?" asked Haruna.

"Um, let me think," said Konoka as she closed her eyes and touched her chest. "A pistachio camisole with a kind of..." Konoka twirled the fingers of her free hand about her collarbone as an aid to describe the top's twirled piping pattern.

"I know the one," said Haruna. "What else?"

"White bell bottom slacks... annnnnd... I want to saaaaaay..." Konoka opened her eyes. "..._tan_ pumps?"

"Closed toe or open toe?"

"Open, I think. What's this about?"

"Oh, _uh_, because she dresses pretty fashionably for a woman her age and I like to keep tabs on her outfits... for reference purposes. It gives me ideas for what I can draw for my manga characters to wear. You know; the older, frumpier mom types trying to be hip, young and attractive."

Konoka gave Haruna "The Look".

If Haruna was a block of ice, "The Look" was the unforgiving desert sun shining through a magnifying glass. The longer one remained under "The Look", the more painful it became. A regiment of sweat droplets marched down Haruna's forehead as she felt her resolve weaken by the second. Her heart pounded in her chest so loudly that she was certain that Konoka could hear it. Unable to endure "The Look" a moment longer, Haruna tossed her book bag to the floor, dropped to her hands and knees and wept tear fountains at Konoka's feet.

"_Because I think she's gorgeouuuuuus!_" confessed a broken Haruna.

"Then you should have said that when I asked you," said Konoka.

"I _know_, I _know!_ I'm sorry! I didn't want to lie!"

"Yet you lied, anyway... and badly, I might add. Who in their right mind would refer to Shizuna-sensei as frumpy?"

"Lying is my automatic first line of defense! It has been since I was at least seven! I became so good about it that I even won a regional lying competition when I was eight!"

"Really?"

"No, see? I'm lying again! It just works so well for me that I'm helpless without it! I didn't mean to lie! It just sort of came out! I was afraid that you'd be jealous or angry with me if I told you the truth. Forgive me, Kono-sama! I love you and only you, my shining star!" Haruna kissed Konoka's shoes as an act of contrition. "Mwah, mwah, mmmmwah."

"I'm not going to be jealous or angry with you just because you find someone other than me to be attractive. But I will be angry with you whenever you're being dishonest with me. Understand?"

"Shizuna-sensei was the first female that I ever jilled off thinking about... and I still would."

"All right... but did you hear what I-"

"No, wait, she's actually only the first _real life_ female I've thought about. I've stirred my honey pot to Fujiko Mine before. A lot. Too many times to count, really."

"I see. Well, I guess that's norm-"

"Oh, and I can polish the pink pearl to Nausicaä any night of the week. See, I have this fantasy where we're both lying naked together in a field of those golden Ohmu tentacles and then we both get ra-"

"_**O**__-kaaaay_, Haruna Saotome... There's a difference between the truth and TMI... and it's prrrretty huge."

"I'm really sorry. So do you forgive me?"

"Well... I suppose it _is_ only a little white lie," said Konoka. "Mmmmmm... okay, I forgive you."

"Sweet," said Haruna as she rose from the floor and dusted the dirt off of the knees of her jogging suit.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

"Hm?"

Konoka removed her disciplinary hammer from her vest pocket and tapped Haruna's head with it, leaving an X bandage in the spot where she had landed the blow.

"Owwwww... I thought you said that I was forgiveeeeen!" whined Haruna as she rubbed her head. "Why'd you hit meeeee?"

"Because _I_ can't pass a pencil test, either," said Konoka, pouting and blushing from her inability to suspend writing implements within her inframammary fold. She turned her back on Haruna and crossed her arms as she waited for yet another apology. Haruna thought about what she could say or do to boost her smaller-chested lover's confidence.

A warning went off in Konoka's head but it came too late for Haruna had clamped her arms around Konoka, pinning her arms against her torso. Before Konoka had a chance to react, Haruna was enthusiastically sucking and nibbling on Konoka's left earlobe while a pair of the manga-ka's warm saliva-moistened fingers found their way under Konoka's skirt and inside her panties.

_Holy motherfucking shiiiiiiit!_ thought Konoka as her wide circular eyes shed sheets of tears and her mouth hung open in shock. Having _either_ her clitoris played with _or_ her earlobes sucked on would have been stimulation enough but having _both_ stimulated simultaneously was a two-pronged attack against which Konoka had no defense. Her legs trembled and her panties grew damper with each passing second. All she could do was emit a soft sustained squeal that rose in pitch, sounding just like a teakettle just starting to whistle.

Haruna released Konoka and walked to the sink where she proceeded to wash her hands. Catching her breath, Konoka was flabbergasted by the powerful attack and was offended that it came to such a sudden pre-climactic halt. How she was still able to stand on such rubbery legs was a mystery to her. After drying her hands, Haruna approached Konoka who was still in the stratosphere and getting closer to earth.

"Since no one's expecting us back any time soon and our roomies will be attending classes all day, can you think of anything you'd like to do when we get back to the dorm?"

"_You meanie!_" squeaked Konoka. "_What do you __**think**__ I'd like to do now that you've got me all worked up like this? I'd like to cum!"_

"I'd be happy to finish you off right now. Come here."

"_No!" _declared Konoka._ "You know I don't want to do that sort of thing in a dirty restroom with piss and shit everywhere!"_

"Where do you see piss and shit everywhere?" asked Haruna as she laughed and looked at the walls which were clean as a whistle. "I was only messing with you. Come here." Haruna reached out for Konoka but Konoka turtled up with her arms and took a step back.

"_No! Let's go home! Oh, my God! I'm going to be antsy for the whole train ride back to the dorm!_" Konoka grabbed Haruna by the arm and dragged her out of the restroom. "_You're going to take responsibility by you-know-whatting me out until I tell you to stop; do you hear me, you monkey? And then you have to make us lunch! Ohhh! Oh, I'm __**dying! **__Every step is __**killing**__ me!"_ Haruna reached down and barely grabbed hold of her book bag before they were both on their way to the locker room. Haruna smiled devilishly at her handiwork. She loved when Konoka was the horny one. The sex would be a welcome diversion before their return to the auditorium for the showdown they would have with Yue. If the class was able to witness their lovemaking, there would be no doubt that Harukono was a real couple.

* * *

><p>"I know you're not a real couple."<p>

Yue and Setsuna eeped and turned around to see the owner of the voice. Standing before them was Kazumi Asakura, photojournalist, with Sayo hovering just above Kazumi's left shoulder. The final bell rang out a minute ago and classes were over for the day, freeing up all of 3-A students to run off to their clubs, reform their cliques or go back to the dorm. The novelty of Yuesetsu was still fresh yet the girls of 3-A knew that Yuesetsu would be back in homeroom the next day and decided to let them be.

"Eh? You mean they were just pretending to be in love, Asakura-san?" asked Sayo.

"That's right, Sayo-chan," said Kazumi. "In fact, that first kiss had to be the most unnatural kiss in the history of kissing," said Kazumi.

"Oh," said Sayo. "Y-Yeah, I noticed that, too. Who _wouldn't_, really?"

"Sayo-san, I believe Asakura-san was talking to us," said Yue as she pointed to herself and Setsuna, pretending to be offended. "You shouldn't 'spook' until spoken to."

"Oh!" exclaimed Sayo as she got Yue's pun. "_Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!_" Sayo held her midsection as she laughed.

Kazumi rolled her eyes and looked at Sayo.

"That's an old pun," said Kazumi.

"I'm an old ghost," said Sayo with an apologetic bow, wiping away her tears of laughter.

Kazumi returned her attention to Yue and continued with her conversation.

"You have no idea how lucky you are that our class is-"

"_SKNXXXX!_"

Kazumi turned around and saw that Sayo was still flouncing and sputtering with unsuccessfully stifled laughter at Yue's pun. Without turning around, Kazumi pointed in the direction of the classroom and Sayo obediently floated away to return to her desk where she would remain until she found a cure for her case of the giggles.

"See what you started?" asked Kazumi. "Any kind of death or ghost-themed pun always kills her-_oh, shit_."

"PFFT_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" laughed Sayo as she overheard Kazumi unwittingly make a similar pun. Sayo was lying on the floor on her side curled up in a fetal position laughing from Kazumi's comment. Kazumi closed her eyes, let out a ragged sigh and bit her lower lip. Yue and Setsuna placed their fingers over their lips as they smiled at Kazumi's accidental slip of the tongue. Kazumi placed her arms around both Yue's and Setsuna's shoulders and moseyed down the main hallway with them.

"I know what you're thinking," said Kazumi. "_'How can she be so mean to such a cute ghost?'_ In my defense, let me just say that if I let you borrow her a week, you'd learn exactly how long it took for your patience to run out and you'd be asking me to take her back on the second day; third day tops. She's infinitely useful, absolutely adorable and sweeter than cotton candy but there are times when she just..." Kazumi slapped herself in the face and shook her head rapidly to throttle herself back aboard her earlier train of thought. "**As I was saying**... you have no idea how lucky you are that our class is mostly full of airheads and tends to see what they want to see."

"I thought it went pretty well," said Yue. "No one called us on it except for Haruna."

"Beginner's luck," said Kazumi. "Paru, Tatsumiya, Evangeline and I have the sharpest senses in class. Tatsumiya doesn't care about stuff like this – _and holy shit, girl, you got away with murder in homeroom calling Tatsumiya a bitch like that!" _Kazumi smiled and shook Yue's shoulder._ "You're ten kinds of crazy but they're all my kind of crazy! Wah ha ha ha ha ha!_" As Kazumi stopped the shaking, Yue smiled halfheartedly, unsure of how impressed Kazumi would be with her if she knew that she had no exit strategy for this most dangerous game of bitch and mouse. "Evangeline cares even less about stuff like this than Tatsumiya, Paru sniffed you out immediately and you certainly didn't fool _me_."

"What was so bad about our performances, Asakura-san?" asked Setsuna.

"For starters, your body language isn't convincing," said Kazumi. "Your acting is mediocre at best and it desperately needs improvement. Then there's the matter of your material. '_Kissed away her tears'? 'first thing you thought about in the morning _'? Give me a break! This is a junior high fling, not some clichéd paperback romance novel sitting on the desk of some thirtysomething lady office worker. If you didn't look so damned cute together, I swear that you wouldn't have a thing in your favor."

_Cute?_ thought Setsuna. _Me?_

"Okay, fair enough," said Yue. "You knew we were just acting... but you didn't call us on it when you could have done so at any time. Why?"

"Me? Debunk your romance? Not on your life!" said Kazumi. "So clue me in on why you're doing this. Is it some kind of prank you're playing on Konoka? I promise I won't tell anyone else."

"Do you really want to know the truth?" asked Yue.

"Doesn't every reporter?" asked Kazumi. "The more truth we have to work with, the fewer facts we have to fabricate."

"That's... a rather sad statement about the media," said Yue, "but the truth is that we're doing this because we want to break up Konoka and Haruna. Neither Setsuna nor I had planned on doing this Yuesetsu thing. Haruna was about to announce that Harukono – a name which sounds terrible, by the way."

"I know, right?" asked Kazumi. "Konoharu would have sounded a lot cuter."

"Oh, _way_ cuter," said Yue.

"I think that both names sounds equally terrible," said Setsuna.

"Haruna was about to announce that Harukono was a couple so to prevent Setsuna from being embarrassed by everyone, I stole Haruna's spotlight by kissing Setsuna."

"And Yue's kiss tasted like cold coffee," said Setsuna, hoping to get a rise out of Yue.

"Hey, yeah; _about_ that!" said Yue. "Would you mind explaining what your _tongue_ was doing poking around inside my mouth in the first place? If I hadn't already committed to my idea, I might have backed away and ruined the performance completely!" As the conversation began to take a more personal turn, Kazumi let go of Yue and Setsuna and walked a fraction of a step behind them as she watched the dialogue exchange.

"I thought we were trying to convince the class that we were a couple," said Setsuna. "Couples do kiss that way and, as you said, playing along is something for which I have a knack. Therefore, I saw nothing wrong with exercising a little artistic license to enhance the performance."

"We... were... _pretending!_" said Yue.

"Do you think I've forgotten that?" asked Setsuna. "I'm a method actress; sue me."

"You could have given me a little warning!" said Yue. "And I don't recall _your_ tongue dispensing a minty fresh antiseptic oral rinse into my mouth, either."

"I wasn't planning on kissing anyone!" said Setsuna. "And you have no right to complain about not being given a warning when _you_ were the one to kiss _me_ out of the blue! If I hadn't remembered your words, _I_ would have been the one to back away from _you_... and wouldn't you have looked like the biggest idiot if that had happened?"

Yue pondered Setsuna's words and admitted that the swordswoman had her dead to rights.

"Touché," shot back Yue. "_You're welcome_, by the way."

Kazumi looked back and forth at both Yue and Setsuna as they play-bickered.

_These two may not really be a couple_, thought Kazumi, _but they've certainly got some chemistry to go with their cuteness_.

"So Paru was telling the truth when she said she and Konoka were really a couple?" asked Kazumi.

"Yes, unfortunately," said Setsuna.

"Hmm. And I assume that the reason you want to break them up is so you can get back together with Konoka again, if possible."

"Yes," said Setsuna. "If she'll still have me after all is said and done."

Kazumi held her chin as she mulled over the possibilities.

"Okay, listen up," said Kazumi as she placed her arms around the necks of Yue and Setsuna once more while walking with them. "You two are _amateurs_.at this. You haven't got a clue as to how to pull off a caper of this magnitude. You got lucky... but you've gone as far as luck is going to take you. Day two is where it gets really difficult and, personally, I don't see you lasting that long on your own. You need someone with experience in matters of duplicity; of showing others what you want them to see. And since Paru isn't an option for you, that leaves me. With _my_ coaching and the awesome PR engine that is The Kazumi Asakura Agency backing you up-"

"Wait a minute, Asakura-san; you have your own _agency?_" asked Yue.

"No, Baka Black, I make stuff up as I go," said Kazumi. "I was on a roll and that just sounded cool."

"Oh, okay," said Yue. "I was gonna **say**."

"With me backing you up, I can turn you two into a power couple the likes of which this school has never seen before! Students everywhere will be practically dripping with love for Yuesetsu."

"That sounds unsanitary," said Yue.

"Do you always interrupt people this much?" asked Kazumi.

"Yes," said Setsuna with a smirk. "She does. Quite often, really. She's a bit of a dork that way." Yue smiled as she reached behind Kazumi and poked Setsuna in the arm where Ayaka had punched her. "DOWP!"

"Without my help, you'll stumble on your own lies somewhere down the line... and as you just saw, our class doesn't take kindly to someone trying to pull a fast one on them. And all Paru did was call them names and _fail_ to fool them! _You_ two actually _succeeded_ in fooling them... so if they find out that you were lying to them from the start, what they'll do to you I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I'm sure that whatever they come up with will make you _beg_ them for a tarring and feathering."

Both Yue and Setsuna gulped as their imaginations ran wild with possible punishments.

"So may we count on your support, Asakura-san?" asked Setsuna.

"Absolutely," said Kazumi.

"Free of charge?" asked Setsuna.

"Who am I, Tatsumiya?" asked Kazumi. "Yes, free of charge."

"Why?"

"Eh?"

"Why help us? I mean, forgive me for being skeptical but I don't see what you would have to gain by helping us."

"You wound me, Sakurazaki," said Kazumi melodramatically as she touched her own chest. "I don't always have to have something to gain in order to offer someone my help. I'm a reporter and reporters are people persons... or should that be people people? Perple... peosons... Anyway, I'm of the people and their lives interest me. Trying to win back an old flame... man, that's a story as old as time. To think that I'll have played a small role in reuinting two wonderful people meant for one another... it just warms my heart." Kazumi wiped away a tear with a handkerchief; a tear which both Setsuna and Yue suspected as being crocodile in nature. "There are those who say that, in a universe so vast, what we humans do in this world makes no difference... but I disagree. Everything we do, say and feel has an impact on the world around us and when your love for Konoka finally bears fruit, I'm sure that it will spread like wildfire and touch the lives of millions. There'll be art, stories and fansites all created in honor of the love you share."

_As if __**that**__ would ever happen_, thought Setsuna.

"And to know that I've helped to make it happen will be all the reward I'll need. That is why I'm doing this."

"That was beautiful," said Yue as her eyes sparkled sarcastically. "Now... may we have the truth, please?"

"My, my, aren't we suspicious?" asked Asakura. "But you're right. I'm hiding something. I'm helping you because... I want the exclusive rights to all of your interviews and photos when you and Setsuna 'break up'! _That's_ the truth! See, I plan on boosting the two of you into power couple superstardom. You'll be so popular that, when you break up, everyone in Mahora will want to read what you have to say about it. And when Sakurazaki and Konoka hook up, that's twice the pathos, twice the bylines and, more importantly, _twice the paper sales!_ My editor will kiss my feet when she realizes how much my contributions will have brought up sales! _Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!_ My columns in the Mahora Times have been under fire as being a bit milquetoast lately so I like to kick the proverbial hornet's nests as I find them and see if any newsworthy stories come of it. Unless I've missed my guess, your reunion with Konoka will be bigger than anything I've covered before."

"I figured it was something like that," said Yue, "but at least you're honest about your motives so we can definitely trust you." Yue offered her hand to Kazumi. "If that's your price, then we accept. Welcome aboard Team Konosetsu."

"Sweet," said Kazumi. "Who else is aboard?"

"Not counting Nodoka who doesn't know a thing about this yet, you're looking at the entire crew." Yue gave Kazumi a salute. "Captain Yue Ayase and First Mate Setsuna Sakurazaki at your service."

"Wait a minute, why am I First Mate?" asked Setsuna.

"Are you always this petty?" asked Yue.

"I'm not being petty," said Setsuna. "It's a legitimate question."

"**No**," stated Yue. "_'Why doesn't Setsuna use breath mints?'_ is a legitimate question."

Setsuna looked at Kazumi.

"Is strangling a superior officer considered mutiny?" asked Setsuna as she stopped walking and wrapped her hands around Yue's neck and gently rested her thumbs against her friend's windpipe. "Please say it's not."

"As your captain, I order you to say that it is, Asakura-san," said Yue.

"Sorry, Sakurazaki," said Kazumi. "The Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force frowns on disobeying a direct order. Yes, Sakurazaki. It's mutiny." Setsuna frowned and then released Yue's neck. "Stop by my room tonight so that I can take some flattering snapshots of Yuesetsu to accompany my story. And wear something cute but casual. And Sakurazaki, don't you worry about a thing. With Kazumi Asakura on the scene, Operation: Break Up Paru and Konoka will go off without a hitch: _guaranteed!_"

This statement made Setsuna smile. While the breakup was something she wanted desperately, it wasn't the solution to her biggest problem: her curse.

"Thank you, Asakura-san," said Setsuna. "If you are right and Konoka-Ojou-sama takes me into her heart, I will forever be in your debt." With that, Setsuna bowed deeply which prompted Yue to do the same to be polite.

"You remember that when some other publication tries to seduce you into an interview," said Kazumi. "Now get out of here, you crazy lovebirds." Kazumi watched Yue and Setsuna as they headed toward the auditorium for their double date with destiny, listening to them bicker as they walked off into the distance.

"I have an idea, Yue," said Setsuna. "Why can't we be co-captains? I can live with that."

Yue looked at Setsuna and shook her head.

"_You_ are just a laundry list of insecurities; did you know that?" asked Yue.

The two girls were out of earshot but Kazumi saw Setsuna grab Yue in a headlock and give her a noogie before entering the stairwell. The playfulness of her friends made her smile but it melted from her face and gave way to a more melancholy expression.

"Yeah..." muttered Kazumi to herself. "_That's_ the truth, all right."

_(Sorry for the smallish interim chapter. The next one should more than make up for it.)_

_(Every manga I've ever read has had characters apologize to one another more times than necessary. To that end, I have peppered the dialogue of the characters with enough apologies to capture the feel of a real manga. One thing I have strayed from is the" de gozaru"s and "aru"s of Kaede and Kū Fei. I respect their place in the manga but I just find it monotonous to include when you all know how Kaede and Kū Fei sound.)_

_(Also, why so shy, people? I've received just over 4500 views but only a small handful of reviews. If you like what you've read, let me know. If not, let me know that, too.)_


	15. Big Drama's House

The Mahora Academy auditorium was the primary location for holding Mahora's small scale special events in addition to school plays and graduation ceremonies. Word of its majestic splendor had spread throughout Mahora City and had reached the point where local businessmen had petitioned the headmaster to rent out the auditorium for corporate meetings and special presentations. The headmaster was always looking for new ways to generate revenue for the school and since these requests fell right into his lap, he could find no reason to turn these businesses away. In the interests of nurturing a healthy professional relationship with the parties interested in this new business venture, it was decided that the auditorium would undergo a renovation before any bookings would be entertained. Many dramatic moments had played out on this stage and the wear and tear put upon it by past performances had lovingly compromised the finish of its floorboards.

But today would be the first time that a drama worthy of taking center stage would be taking place behind it.

Yue and Setsuna were the first to arrive at the auditorium. They didn't want to be spotted loitering and so they decided to conceal themselves behind the backdrop where they would wait until Haruna showed up. The doors on either side of the stage leading to the backstage area were locked so they simply climbed onto the stage and walked behind the backdrop. Neither Yue nor Setsuna were sure of where the light switches were here and only had wisps of sunlight illuminating the backstage area . Rather than risk setting off some kind of alarm by fiddling with electrical panels, Yue cast a simple illumination spell. Power tools, sandbags, sheets of drywall, steel yardsticks, wooden planks and crates of various sizes containing theater props were stacked everywhere. They spotted two wooden chairs which Setsuna immediately dusted off with a handkerchief before setting her sword and book bag on the floor and taking a seat. Yue had never been back here before and her Library Exploration Club instincts compelled her to poke around a bit to see what there was to see. While Yue was preoccupied, Setsuna opened her own book bag, reached inside and found the item she needed. She rose from her chair and took a few steps forward while holding the item behind her back.

"Yue," said Setsuna.

"Yes?" asked Yue as she returned from her theatrical expedition and placed her book bag on the second chair.

"I'd like to show you something."

Setsuna brought her arms out from behind her back and showed Yue the item.

"Is... Is that a real Ennomos Aetosphragis?" asked Yue.

"It is," said Setsuna as she held it up to the light to better appreciate the fine craftsmanship that went into sculpting it. "It's the same one which was almost used on Negi-sensei when he was negotiating with Fate in the Magical World. I asked Negi-sensei if he would let me keep it as a memento and he consented."

"That's really cool... but when did you put that in your bag? I've been with you all day. We even ate lunch together."

"I've had it in my bag since we left the dorm to go to Library Island."

"Oh. If you were toting it around that long, why are you showing it to me now?" Suddenly, Yue gasped as a horrible thought crossed her mind. "If you're thinking of asking me to help you trick Haruna into breaking up with Konoka using **this**..."

"No, no, the thought never even crossed my mind. Although... now that you mention it..."

"Setsu_naaaaa..._"

"I'm just kidding. I wouldn't use it in such a dastardly way."

"Good, because I still want to try to keep them as friends after we've broken them up, if possible... and Haruna would never forgive me if she found out that I knew that you used magic on her."

"The reason I'm showing this to you now is because I need a guarantee that you will fulfill a promise that I must ask you to keep."

Yue wrinkled her nose at the idea.

"I think you should know that I find that more than a little insulting," said Yue as she crossed her arms. "If I haven't earned your trust by now, I'm not sure what else I need to do."

"I apologize for offending you, Yue," said Setsuna, "but it was a risk I felt I had to take. This promise is a little steeper than the others."

"All right, I'll hear you out... but first, you have to put that thing down over there." Yue pointed to a nearby wooden chair. "If I make you a promise, rest assured that nothing will stop me from keeping it."

"Thank you," said Setsuna as she walked to the chair, blew the dust off of it and set it down carefully on its base. "As you know, my curse is going to cause my mind to deteriorate so I need to ask something of you while I am currently of sound mind. No matter how much I may ask, beg, cry, scream, threaten or otherwise make my intentions known to you... if at any point during the advanced stages of my madness I should say to you that I am willing to complete my ka-a'kuruhk with Saotome in order to continue living, I need you to promise me that you will_** not listen to me under any circumstances.**_ Do not try to convince Saotome to allow me to do _that_ to her just to save my life, even if I appear to be ready, willing and able to go through with it. Should I reach that point, I will have lost everything of the real me worth saving. Just let me wither away into nothingness with that one tiny piece of dignity in my possession. There are some fates worse than death and being wed to Saotome..." Setsuna simply sighed. "Will you promise me this, Yue? I would ask Asuna-san but I believe that she would value my life too much to keep this promise. And as she has yet to learn about any of this, I need to ask someone that I trust whose spirit will not weaken as I fear hers might."

"As I said earlier, we won't let it get to that point. I believe that I'll find a cure for your curse before then."

"I'm pleased to hear that. If you're so confident that you'll find a cure, then you shouldn't have a problem promising me this, should you?"

"If it makes you feel better, yes, I'll promise. Setsuna, you have my word that I won't help you complete your ka-a'kuruhk with Haruna in any way, shape or form."

"Thank you, Yue."

"Happy?"

"Only partially. There's a second part to this promise. This part is why I felt bringing the Ennomos Aetosphragis along was necessary. You know that while I'm in my right mind, I would never attempt to... take what I would need from Saotome by force to end this curse. I'll have myself institutionalized before I've reached that stage so that won't be a problem... but, in my desperation, I fear that I might prove to be resourceful. If the lunatic that I become somehow manages to escape and chooses to do that... and it's within your power to do so... then... I..." Setsuna closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly as she prepared herself for Yue's protest. "... then I want you to kill me before I do it."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"I am very serious, Yue. I've given the matter a great deal of thought. You are kind to give me hope by telling me that a cure exists for my condition and I appreciate it but I'm thinking realistically. If I become so desperate as to rape Saotome, then I'm already dead inside... and my fighting prowess would be greatly reduced without the focus needed to channel my chi so I know that you could strike me down."

"That's not the point."

"I'll see to it that a handwritten letter is left among my personal belongings that will absolve you of-"

"Are you even listening to yourself? Do you actually think that I'm concerned about this because I don't have a letter? Look, Setsuna, I have been willing to help you as much as I have because everything that you've asked of me was something I was capable of doing... but this is asking too much! You may be a hanyō but to me and to everyone else in the Negi-gumi, you'll always be a human... and you're asking me to take your life? You say that you've given this a great deal of thought but with all due respect, I don't think that you've given any thought to what would happen to me. Suppose that I've agreed to this worst case scenario and it plays out just as you described. You break loose, try to complete your ka-a'kuruhk and boom, I've killed you. You'd be dead... but what about the impact something like that would have on me? I'd have the blood of a friend on my hands for the rest of my life. Do you think the headmaster will allow me stay at Mahora Academy if I show him your handwritten letter excusing me for your murder? Do you think the police will let me walk if I show them that letter? Do you think Asuna, Nodoka or Negi-Sensei will ever look at me in the same light for doing what you asked? This isn't feudal Japan. Brutal actions have brutal consequences in modern times and what you're asking is too much of a burden to ask anyone to shoulder. Now, I was willing to accommodate you with your first promise but as for this... well, you might as well grab the Ennomos Aetosphragis again if you want me to make this second promise because being magically bound to my word is the only way that I could go through with it... but if you're in your right mind right now as you claim to be and you wouldn't force your will on Haruna, I fail to see how you can justify forcing your will on me."

Setsuna looked into her friend's eyes and she saw something there which she never wanted to be responsible for putting in them: resentment. Setsuna's plan to have Yue's promise magically enforced lost its appeal.

"I... I can't do this," said Setsuna as she removed the artifact from the chair and placed it back in her book bag. "Please forgive me, Yue. Bringing this thing with me was a stupid idea. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't think about your feelings. You've been so good to me and all I've given y-" Setsuna flinched, looked toward the stage backdrop and then back at Yue. "Someone's coming."

"Our guest of honor?" asked Yue.

"Most likely," replied Setsuna. "I sense magical power coming from them."

Yue didn't hear anything at first but moments later, she heard the door at the far end of the auditorium open. She then heard the footsteps of at least two people walking up the center aisle toward the stage.

"_Don't lie to me, Yuesetsuuuuu..._" sang a voice which sounded like Haruna's. Yue recognized the tune of the song as Don't Cry for Me, Argentina from the musical Evita. _"The truth iiiis you're nooooot a couplllllle..."_ Despite her recent skullduggery, Haruna boasted an impressive singing voice for an amateur; one which she would use to excess whenever the Library Exploration Club made excursions to the various karaoke places in town. _"...you stole our spotliiiight... and fucked us overrrr... I'm really pissed nowwwww... and so's my __**low**__-verrrrr..."_

Despite mentally preparing herself for the very serious matter of discussing Haruna's villainous act, Yue cracked a smile and nearly chuckled at the manga-ka deliberately mispronouncing "lover" to rhyme her improvised lyrics. Yue turned her head to prevent Setsuna from spotting the smile.

_That girl is so retarded_, thought Yue.

"Nowaitwaitwaitwait, I've got a better one!" declared Haruna as both her footsteps and Konoka's came closer to the stage. Judging by the scuffling sounds and creaking of the floorboards, Haruna and Konoka had apparently climbed onto the stage and were currently standing on it. "Check it out; here it is."

_Oh, damn_, thought Yue as she scrunched her eyes shut and held both her upper and lower lips between her teeth, bracing herself for more of Haruna's nonsense. _Do __**not**__ laugh. Do __**not**__ laugh. Do __**not**__ laugh._

Haruna cleared her throat and sang once more.

"_...you stole our spotliiiight... and fucked us overrrr... I have a doggieeeee... His name is Roverrrr..."_

"**PFFFFFFT!**"

Yue dropped to her knees and repeatedly pounded her forehead into the floor a few times until she was too woozy to continue laughing. She looked up at Setsuna and saw that the swordswoman was not amused but whether the look of disapproval was from Haruna's presence or the inappropriate laughter, Yue couldn't tell.

"_Oh, my God, Setsuna, I am so sorry about that_," whispered Yue in a high pitched voice as she wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. "_It's just that she knows how to get me going. She always has. I don't know where she gets half of the stupid shit she comes up with but when she says something retarded like that, it's hard for me to hold it together._"

Haruna peeked around the backdrop and saw Yue and Setsuna. Konoka meekly trailed a few steps behind Haruna.

"I thought I heard someone making a noise back here," said Haruna with a wide smile that was creepy considering she was so furious earlier. "So glad you could make it. How'd you like my song?"

"The recording industry must cry themselves to sleep each night that they fail to sign you to a label," said Yue plainly.

"Well, you know me... I'll sign when the money's right and not a moment sooner. This place is pretty awesome, isn't it?"

"It's not the library but it does make me want to poke around."

Haruna looked up at the magical equivalent of fluorescent bulbs that Yue had conjured.

"Magic, huh? Why didn't you turn the real lights on?"

"I didn't know where they were or which switches turned which lights on. Do you?"

"Yeah, they're right over..." Haruna started to walk a few steps but then stopped. "Never mind. All this crap is in the way. I guess it's bright enough to do what needs doing. You know the story of Eva Perón, don't you, Yue?"

"Only as much of it as the musical covers."

"How about you, Sakurazaki?"

"I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure," said Setsuna.

"It's about a young woman in Argentina who fell in love and went on to become a hero of the downtrodden people of her country," said Haruna. "She moved up in life to bigger and better things primarily because of her chance meeting with her future spouse."

"I suppose this is your subtle way of getting me to see a parallel between this story and your relationship with Konoka-Ojou-sama."

"Oh, is that what I'm doing?"

Setsuna rolled her eyes.

"Haruna, enough with the chit-chat," said Yue. "We both know you're not here to talk about plays. I know I'm not."

"You're right," said Haruna. "But we are here to talk about acting; yours in particular. You stole our spotlight, damaged our credibility and got me tarred and feathered."

"From which you cleaned up rather nicely, I see," said Yue.

"All thanks to Konoka's healing magic."

"I'll accept responsibility for stealing your spotlight and damaging your credibility but the tarring and feathering was actually Asuna's suggestion, not mine."

"Asuna wouldn't have been given the opportunity to suggest it if you hadn't done what you did to me first."

"Again, that was not my fault. Nothing that I did made the class even look in your direction. If you hadn't taken it upon yourself to insult them, they would have left you alone."

"An action which never would have taken place if you hadn't done what you did to me first! We can argue this point back and forth all day but what it boils down to is that you stabbed The Great Paru-sama in the back. That doesn't sit well with me at all."

"Or me," chimed Konoka. "You stabbed me in the back, too."

"So talk to me," said Haruna with a calm and confident grin. "Why did you do it, Yue?"

"I'm not Yue, I'm 'karma'," said Yue, "and you know what they say about karma."

"The same thing that they say about payback and life; that it's a bitch. Well, you've done some very bitch-like things to Konoka and me today. Which reminds me, that was some crazy shit you did messing with Mana today."

"I did pwn her quite decisively, didn't I?"

"Better than I could have done."

"Don't sell yourself short. It's not like you. So... the announcement of my new 'relationship' with Setsuna doesn't sit well with you two, does it? Well, _you two shitting all over Setsuna's dignity doesn't sit well with me!_"

Konoka held onto Haruna's shoulder as she slowly took a step away from Yue. She turned to look at Setsuna who quickly cast her eyes downward. Konoka already knew that what she had done to Setsuna had blackened her soul. She didn't need anyone shining a light on it to remind her, least of all Yue, a girl that nearly everyone in class respected. She missed being respected almost as much as she missed her pristine soul. Konoka had never been called on the carpet for a misdeed in her life and she wanted to run away but she settled on averting her eyes.

"Oh, yeah... she told me what happened," said Yue. "About _everything_ that happened. At first, I couldn't believe it. Who would _want_ to believe that their friends were capable of such a thing? And yet, as I look at what I can _see_ of your faces..." Yue leaned to the left to peer behind Haruna and get a better look at Konoka. "... my disbelief was obviously misplaced."

Konoka clung to Haruna's arm and hid her face while Haruna seemed unfazed by Yue's discovery of their conspiracy.

"Konoka," said Yue. "Look at me." Konoka slowly turned to face Yue. She focused on Yue's neck so that she wouldn't have to face her piercing eyes. "Do you really have the right to complain about someone stabbing **you** in the back? How could _you _ – Setsuna's oldest friend – be so heartless as to use her loyalty to you to ask for her silence? She was the victim of a rape-"

"_Excuse me_, excuse me," interrupted Haruna, holding up her hand to interject. "Sorry. Hi. Me again." Haruna clasped her palms together and rocked in place, shifting her weight from heel to toe. "Sooooo I don't know **exactly** what Sakurazaki told you but from what it sounds like, you might want to rephrase that last part a little bit for accuracy's sake… just a teeny tiny bit."

Due to the extenuating circumstances of this case, Yue had to admit that rape might have been the wrong word to use.

"She was the victim of... a non-penetrative sexual assault," said Yue. "Happy now?"

"_Mmmmm_mmmm, I _might_ beeee," said Haruna, "if I had anything to _do_ with it."

"Don't play innocent with me, Haruna!" said Yue. "You violated Setsuna and you haven't come forward about it! Where are your consciences? How are you not ashamed of yourselves? I'm ashamed of being in the same school as you! I'm even ashamed of being the same gender as you! We're all on the same team! Girls aren't supposed to do to each other what you've done to her!"

"You can be ashamed of the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees for all I care," said Haruna as she pushed her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, "but if you're accusing me of something, the word you've left out is '_allegedly'._ I've _allegedly_ violated her."

"Fine; you've _allegedly_ violated her."

"Look, are you sure you want to have this out with me? I was just going to let you off the hook with a private apology now and a public apology in class tomorrow morning in homeroom."

"_Damned right_ I want to have this out with you! If what happened to Setsuna had happened to either of you, I'd be just as full of righteous indignation to defend your honor as I am right now defending hers! I'm representing Setsuna's interests because her spirit is too broken by what you've 'allegedly' done to stand up for herself. And I'm not sorry for anything that I've done to you today so for **me** to apologize to **you** would make no sense."

"Would you take a look at Mrs. Ryūichi Naruhodō here?" asked Haruna with a chuckle. "It's as if she's got a completely changed personality."

"I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I am that you see it that way, Haruna," said Yue as she shook her head. "I have the same personality I've always had. I just happen to be helping a distraught friend through a personal crisis. Since you seem to have forgotten, **that** is what friends do. And if you think that _I_ have a different personality, how deeply tragic is it that _your_ personality appears to be pretty much the same? Does that mean that you've had this unfeeling side to you stored away somewhere and you were merely waiting for an opportunity to use it? Or does it mean that you've always had it out in the open and the kind, decent and responsible friends you had were just blind to it?"

"So you really want to turn down my offer and have this out with me?"

"Yes."

"Fine by me. Just don't cry about it after I've given you your spanking. First of all, if what Sakurazaki told you actually happened, the first thing I would have done was make sure that she understood that it was an **accident.** I would have cleared this with her as soon as I realized my mistake and I would have confirmed that she acknowledged it as a mistake."

Setsuna was no expert in law and didn't know how much harm she had done by acknowledging the assault as a mistake. Yue turned to look at Setsuna and her expression indicated that she indeed acknowledged that the assault was accidental.

"This isn't a dented fender," said Yue. "This is Setsuna's virtue we're talking about. Her acceptance of the incident as an accident doesn't mean that a crime hasn't taken place."

"Actually, it kinda does," said Haruna. "I have no motive for sexually assaulting anyone; Sakurazaki included. Therefore, I would have had no _mens rea_. Without a mens rea to accompany the _actus rea_, the law would view what allegedly happened as a mistake. _'Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea'_."

"'_The act does not make a person guilty unless the mind is also guilty',_" said Yue, translating the Latin. "_You_ certainly know your Latin legal terminology."

"I read."

"Really? Name five other Latin legal terms."

Haruna scowled at Yue for she could only think of one other.

"What about four? Can you name four others? Three? Surely you're read about at least three Latin legal terms. Two?"

"_Habeas corpus and lickus my rectum!_" spat Haruna angrily. "You know, it's _so_ like you to put down my intellect! You've _always_ thought of me as the dumbest Library Exploration Club member and don't try to deny it. Even when your grades earned you a spot in the Baka Rangers, I never **once** bought into you being dumb because I knew better. There's gratitude for ya."

"Where's _this_ coming from?" asked Yue, raising an eyebrow. "Unlike some people, _I_ don't have to deny _anything_ but if you must know, I thought _Konoka_ was the dumbest when I first met you three." Yue turned to face Konoka and held her hand out in apology as she smiled nervously. "No offense."

"No, it's all right; I get that a lot," said Konoka meekly.

"That's what this is really all about, isn't it?" asked Haruna. "You've got it in for me because you like Nodoka more than me. She's more your type and you'd rather have a bad influence like me out of the picture."

"What are you, six?" asked Yue. "That's not true... and that is _**not**_ what this is all about!"

"IT IS TOO TRUE! Tomorrow morning, let's ask **everyone** in class who they think is Yue Ayase's best friend! Five hundred meal coupons says that no more than ten percent of them will say Haruna Saotome!"

"The four of us are all best friends equally... and _don't_ try to change the subject!"

"But it's related to the same subject. If we're best friends equally as you put it, then let me ask you **this**: if it had been Nodoka who did what I've allegedly done to Setsuna, would you be just as hell bent on getting **her** to turn herself in and get expelled from Mahora?"

Yue hesitated for a split second as she asked herself the question.

"Of course I would," she said, cursing gravity for allowing a drop of sweat to roll just past her eyebrow at that exact moment.

"_AH __**HAAAAAAA!**__ See?_" cried Haruna, pointing a finger at Yue. "_Your response time tells me all I need to know! You might as well have screamed that I was right!_"

"I HATE it when you do that!"

"Tough! I do it because it works!"

"The only reason you think that it works is because it gets you the answer you want to hear! Nodoka would never do something like this but even if she did, I have faith in her; faith that she would have come forward about the mistake she had made, regardless of the consequences. It was the same faith that I had in you before you shattered it."

"How could you possibly know that she'd never do something like this? Do you think she's **so** much better than I am?"

"Given what you've done, she'd **have** to be, wouldn't she?"

"God!" exclaimed Haruna as she ran her hand through her bangs to wipe her forehead. "I mean... okay, yeah, I know that I'm louder than you and I gossip a lot... and I embrace life and the opportunities it grants a little more enthusiastically than you do... and I'm open about sex and stuff and I get that you're not. But... as different as our personalities were..." Haruna silenced herself to steady her trembling lips. She spoke again in a higher pitch as she was moments from crying. "..._as different as our personalities were, I always thought that you still loved me like a sister... and that you'd __**have**__ my back... not __**stab**__ me in it._"

"Paru-chan..." said Konoka as she comforted her lover by rubbing her back.

"Haruna... you _know_ that I love you like a sister and I _do_ have your back," urged Yue, "but whether you refuse to believe it or not, how I regard you as a friend has **nothing to do with what you've done or why I did what I did!** You _must_ have known that I could _never_ support the actions you took after the alleged assault! Neither could Nodoka! And as masterfully as you've painted yourself to be the wounded party here, I find it to be in very poor taste considering the real wounded party is standing right next to me."

Haruna closed her eyes, folded her arms, sniffled and swallowed.

"So you've told her about all of this?" she asked, seemingly over her brief moment of self-pity. "Nodoka, that is." Haruna removed a facial tissue from her vest pocket and blew her nose.

Yue took notice of a weakness Haruna had just shown her: she respected Nodoka and feared losing the bookstore's respect. Whether or not it could be used to Yue's advantage was something she'd have to tackle later.

"No," replied Yue. "Not yet. I won't tell anyone that Setsuna hasn't given me permission to tell."

"You may tell Nodoka-san if you're sure she won't tell anyone else," said Setsuna. "I trust your judgment."

Haruna had her theories about why it was so important that Nodoka keep this a secret but she decided to wait until the time was right to confirm them.

"So what actions _would_ you have supported?" asked Haruna as she sniffled and swallowed. "Let me guess: you want Konoka to allow Setsuna to report the assault to the headmaster."

"Yes," said Yue, "because it's the right thing to do."

"And you want me to confess that I did it."

"Yes, for the same reason."

"_So how the fuck is that having my back?_ I'd be expelled from the allegation alone! I could be found not guilty and I'd still get kicked out of Mahora! You can call it love all you like but all I can see from these stupid ass actions you'd support is that you're against me!"

"Against _us_," said Konoka as she rubbed Haruna's back. Haruna turned to face Konoka and smiled upon seeing the sweetest face in the world smile back at her.

"That's right, baby," said Haruna as she put her arm around Konoka. "Against 'us'." Haruna turned to face Yue and pointed at Konoka. "Did you see that, Yue? **Konoka's** got my back! **This** is what a friend does! They stay by your side through good times and bad!"

"Ohhhh... You mean like the way Konoka stayed by Setsuna's side through _**her**_ bad time?" asked Yue. "Oh, wait, my mistake; she _didn't._"

"Shut up," said Haruna. "Secondly..." Haruna raised and eyebrow and looked at Konoka. "Wow, that was a long ass time between a first point and a second, wasn't it?" Konoka could only think of nodding in response to Haruna's question and so she did just that. "**Secondly**, if Sakurazaki was assaulted sexually, her first obligation should have been to fight back and/or say no. If there's no evidence of a struggle and no refusal, there is no sexual assault. Did she struggle or refuse?"

Konoka really had a hard time pretending not to hear that.

"As if you didn't know why she didn't refuse," said Yue. "That argument is bullshit and you know it. Failing to say no does not constitute a yes. Without a yes, there's no consent and without consent, a sexual assault took place." Yue turned to face Setsuna. "Setsuna, did you grant Haruna permission to do what she did to you?"

"Absolutely not," replied Setsuna. Yue faced Haruna once more.

"Case closed as far as I'm concerned," said Yue.

"Sakurazaki, please answer the following questions with a yes or a no," said Haruna as she clasped her hands together. "Did you see me at all when this assault supposedly took place?"

Setsuna looked at Yue for an indication that it was okay to answer.

"You might as well answer her, Setsuna," said Yue. Setsuna turned her head to face Haruna.

"No," replied Setsuna.

"Did you hear my voice when this assault supposedly took place?" asked Haruna.

"No."

"Do you have anything that could prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the person who did do this to you was me?"

"No."

"Come again?" Haruna held a hand to her ear.

"I said no."

"Could you positively identify your assailant in a police lineup if you neither saw nor heard your assailant?"

"No."

"Do you have any proof at all... even flimsy proof... that I was in that room and did what I'm accused of doing apart from what you _say_ Konoka and I allegedly said we believed might have happened to you given the time frame?"

Konoka had no idea what Haruna just said.

"Are you kidding me?" asked Yue. "Haruna, you _admitted_ it to her on the same day that it happened. You even _apologized_ for it."

"Says her," replied Haruna, keeping her eyes on Setsuna. "My word against hers. If she can say I was there, I can say that I wasn't there and it would be left to a court of law to decide which of us is telling the truth. Answer the question, Sakurazaki."

"No," replied Setsuna. "I... smelled you but... I assumed that the scent was coming from the nightgown that I was wea-... ring."

"How could you have a nightgown on that smelled like me?"

"Wait... you don't mean my white one with the little blue and green flowers on it, do you?" asked Konoka. "The one I had on Saturday night? I thought I put that in my hamper."

Setsuna turned her head and cursed herself for allowing Haruna to drag that embarrassing piece of information out of her.

"You... wore... her **used** nightgown?" asked Haruna. "Ho... lee... shit... You sick pervert! _Stay the hell out of my girlfriend's hamper, Sakurazaki! I mean it!_" Haruna's courage had grown exponentially now that she was smelling more like a rose with every passing second. She was genuinely angered by Setsuna's violation of Konoka's personal belongings. Some of the greatest conquests in history began with small, inconspicuous impingements such as these and Haruna wanted to nip this one in the bud.

"Paru, please don't speak to Secchan like that," said Konoka as she held Haruna's arm and gave it a warning squeeze. Haruna huffed and puffed as her anger subsided somewhat. Setsuna closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose as a means of hiding her face behind her hand.

"A scent is about as flimsy as evidence can get," said Haruna. "Not to mention that I was very much in close contact with Konoka when she was wearing that nightgown which would easily explain any traces of my DNA found on it. Is there any chance that you skipped bathing for a few days, pervert? Maybe there's some of your assailant's DNA on your..." Haruna paused as she lowered her gaze toward Setsuna's skirt and then back at her face. "...person that could be used as evidence."

"I've bathed several times since yesterday morning," said Setsuna, hating Haruna more with every word that came out of her cocky mouth.

"Oh," said Haruna who almost appeared to be disappointed on Setsuna's behalf. "Well, I suppose that's nothing less than what I've come to expect from one of my many hygiene-conscious classmates. Anyway, as far as you could tell, your assailant could theoretically have been _anyone_, right? It may not have even been a Mahora student... or even a girl... or even a _human_, for that matter. Isn't that right?"

Setsuna said nothing. She simply looked up at the magical lights, inhaled deeply and exhaled nasally while keeping her arms folded.

"Well, there you have it," said Haruna plainly with an open-palmed shrug. "Without a lick of compelling evidence – no pun intended – this case is closed as far as _**I'm**_ concerned. It's my word against hers."

"Do you want to chime in on this at all, Konoka?" asked Yue.

"Um, not at this time, no," said Konoka softly as she held onto Haruna's arm with both hands.

"Oh, and if you're considering having Nodoka use Diarium Ejus on me," said Haruna. "I'd like to remind you of the following points. One: Nodoka swore she would never use Diarium Ejus on any of us without our consent. Two: I'm currently under no obligation to submit to having my mind read and I have no intention of consenting to having my mind read. Three: any use of Diarium Ejus without the subject's consent is inadmissible as evidence; both in the eyes of the Mahora Academy board of directors and any mundane court of law intended for defending the rights of humans which would do Sakurazaki no good anyway since we all know she is not fully human, something I'd be quick to point out to the jury to try and get my case thrown out. You can't be convicted of sexually assaulting a crow hanyō in a modern mundane court of law any more than you can be convicted of shooting a chupacabra or mugging a leprechaun."

"Like they'd believe she has wings," said Yue, rolling her eyes.

"Like they'd believe a magic book can read minds," retorted Haruna. "As the duly appointed card-carrying ministrae of Negi-kun, we're all answerable to the rules and guidelines set forth by his alma mater, The Merdiana Magic Academy, to keep magic a secret from mundanes and that includes the existence of artifacts."

"We wouldn't reveal our artifacts to a mundane court of law."

"Just covering all possibilities," said Haruna with a grin, "which brings me to Four: Since presenting Diarium Ejus in a mundane court of law during testimony would be a violation of our responsibility to keep magic a secret from mundanes, we, along with Negi-kun, would be turned into ermines by the Merdiana Magic Academy board of directors before my case even went to court. As we would then be unable to attend classes as ermines, we'd **all** be expelled for excessive absenteeism and we'd miss graduating with our class; something which I'm pretty sure none of us would want any more than being turned into ermines."

"You'd really see us all go down in four-legged flames together?" asked Yue rhetorically.

"I wouldn't want to go through any of this but if I was put in that position, yes, I would think I'd have no choice but to do just that," said Haruna. "However, I would _hope_ that you would have the common sense **not to push me that far.** This concludes my presentation on why enlisting Nodoka's artifact to help you would be a really bad idea for everyone. So what else have ya got, Judge Sidestring?"

Konoka took no pleasure in the thick tension that hung in the air but she was impressed with how thoroughly Haruna had thought this all out and despite how inappropriate such a thought was, she found Haruna to be even more attractive.

"Nothing," said Yue dejectedly. "Nothing except my honor… which is more than I can say for the two of you. How can you sleep at night?"

"I'll be honest; after an hour or two between the sheets with my little shining star, it's pretty hard to stay awake," said Haruna with a chuckle.

"Paru!" exclaimed Konoka. "TMI!"

Setsuna's heartbeat quickened upon hearing Haruna's 'shining star' nickname for Konoka. It was the same nickname she heard from Konoka while under Yue's Prohibere Paenitet spell. How could the Konoka in her dream have told Setsuna something that was true in the real world? Sensing that she might have a ka-a'kuruhk anxiety attack, she closed her eyes and meditated herself back to a neutral emotional state, touching her neck to remind herself that her head was still connected to it.

"I'm just sayin'," said Haruna. "Konoka's happy with me and she won't authorize any action that would result in me getting expelled. And Konoka will never be this pervert's girlfriend as long as I'm around."

"Paru, quit it," said Konoka.

"I'm not _asking_ Konoka to become Setsuna's girlfriend," said Yue. "Whoever you want to date is none of my concern. I'm only asking you as your friend to do the right thing and take responsibility for your actions like any other member of the Negi-gumi would be expected to do. Look, let's cut through all of the bullshit, shall we? I know you, Haruna Saotome. I've spent way too much time with you not to know you. I know how you think and I know how you operate. Behind this insurmountable wall of Great Paru-sama superiority you've erected, I know what's going on inside of you."

"And what might that be?"

"You're scared."

"Oh, _yeah,_ just look at how much I'm shaking," said Haruna sarcastically as she held her hands out which were as steady as a rock.

"I'm not finished, said Yue. "You know that you made a serious mistake that hurt someone with whom you had no previous quarrel. You feel like it's eating away at your guts and you've got no one to blame but yourself. You know you're in way over your head. You want to do the right thing but you don't want to get expelled or lose your girlfriend in the process. And you think that you've got no one to turn to for help." Haruna's expression softened as many of Yue's suppositions were not far from the truth. "You're clinging to Konoka as if she's the answer to your problems when she's just as scared as you are... and Konoka's clinging to you as if you're the answer to your problems when you're just as clueless about finding a way out of this as she is. My help isn't exclusively Setsuna's. I can help you both if you'll let me."

"Really?" asked Konoka sincerely. "How?"

"Don't listen to her, Konoka," said Haruna. "It's just going to be the same line of horseshit she was trying to feed us earlier."

"We can all go to the headmaster together," said Yue. "We'll even bring Nodoka along with us if you'd like. You can confess your crime and, with Konoka's permission, Setsuna will confirm it. Now, I won't lie. Barring an act of God, you're almost certainly going to be expelled for this, Haruna... and depending on how much longer you delay this and how strict the headmaster is, there might be an expulsion and a one-way ticket back to Kyoto in your future for _your_ part in this, Konoka. I know how-"

"Wait a minute, _Wait_ a minute!" interrupted Konoka as ice ran through her veins, "Why would _I_ be sent back to Kyoto? _I didn't do anything!_"

"Correction: you did _nothing_. That's different than not doing anything. By not reporting this, you're actively concealing what happened. That's called misprision of felony."

"Misprision of felony?"

"It's a misdemeanor and if Haruna is found guilty of her crime, you _can_ be charged with it and you could be convicted." Konoka knew in her heart that her part in what had happened to her best friend was wrong but this was her first time hearing that it was against the law. This frightening revelation made Konoka realize, among other things, just how badly she needed to use the bathroom. "I know how bad this sounds but the important thing is that once you've confessed, you'll both have clear consciences and Setsuna can have the closure that any of you would want for yourselves if either of _you_ were victims of sexual assault. I'm afraid that no one can help you _out_ of this... but I can at least help you _through_ this. If I know you as well as I think I know you, you both want what's best for everyone. As unappealing as it might sound, this **is** what's best for everyone. It's what Negi-sensei would hope you'd do."

Konoka looked at Haruna, hoping that she had something left in her bag of tricks.

"You give a stellar performance, Yue," said Haruna. "One worthy of a better stage than this one... but I'm afraid there's no deal. My conscience in exchange for my school and my girlfriend? And maybe even home schooling for Konoka? What kind of stupid tradeoff is that?" Haruna turned to Konoka and put her hand on her shoulder. "Konoka, the constitution says that a person can't be convicted of crimes where the only evidence is their confession and we've already established that there is no other evidence. Plus juvenile cases don't generally go to a real court. This is your first offense so, at best, you'd be sent to a child guidance center. At worst, you'd go to a family court where they'd just lecture your dad about how he can set you on the right path and shit like that. You won't be tried as an adult but if by some miscarriage of justice you were, your father would never let you serve a single second of your sentence." Haruna gently stroked Konoka's cheek and looked at her with all of the love she could muster. "Don't worry about a thing, okay, love? I wouldn't let anything happen to you. We're golden."

"Okay," said Konoka, feeling a little less nervous after Haruna's reassuring explanation. Haruna returned her attention to Yue.

"You might make Konoka shit a brick with your selective legalese but you don't worry me for one very good reason," said Haruna. "Sakurazaki gave her word to Konoka that she wouldn't report what happened to her and as long as she keeps her word – which I believe she'll do indefinitely – Konoka and I aren't in need of being helped **out** of anything we aren't **in**."

Now was the time for Haruna to cast the net of suspicion she had been weaving and see what she could catch.

"In fact," continued Haruna, "I think that a warrior like Sakurazaki has a bushido-like code of honor that demands that she commit seppuku if she broke her word."

Setsuna and Yue flinched at Haruna's uncanny guess. Being a master of reading even the slightest tells, Haruna noticed their telltale facial signals and smiled at their inability to verify her suspicion.

"_Ahhhhhhh_, so I was _right_," she said. "Nice pokerface, you guys." Yue was irritated by Haruna's deduction. Setsuna wasn't any happier with it either. "Don't give me that look. I'm not the one who brought an onigiri to a gunfight. Now that you've confirmed what I suspected to be true, Konoka and I have even less need of your 'help' but thanks _ever_ so much for offering it. Since her life depends on it, Sakurazaki wants to maintain the status quo as much as Konoka and I do... and this is as close to the status quo as it's going to get for any of us from here on out."

Yue shifted her jaw from side to side as she tried to think of anything else she could do to trump Haruna. Sadly, she was drawing a blank.

"You're being awfully quiet, Konoka," said Yue. "Cat got your conscience?"

"Leave her alone, will you?" asked Haruna. "She's not up for this kind of thing."

"And what kind of thing is 'this', hm? Depraved indifference? Deception? Dark secrets? Defending a fundamentally flawed and self-serving viewpoint? If you respect her as a young woman with a head on her shoulders, you'll let her speak in her defense."

"I respect her _plenty_... and I won't be goaded into letting you harass her with your pointless cross-examination," asked Haruna.

"I'll... talk to her," said Konoka meekly.

"Are you sure, Kono-chan?" asked Haruna. "You don't have to. We've already won."

"What's wrong, Haruna?" asked Yue. "Are you afraid that your coaching hasn't stuck?"

"I haven't been coached, Yue," said Konoka as she let go of Haruna's arm and stood up straight. "Now, you be nice to me or I won't talk to you at all." Konoka took a few shaky steps forward.

Yue had given it her best shot but she knew that as long as Haruna was doing the thinking, convincing Konoka to allow Setsuna to report the assault was a hopeless endeavor. However, breaking them up was still a possibility. All she had to do was push the right buttons.

"Konoka, are you aware of what Setsuna has sacrificed for you over the years?"

"_OBJECTION!_" shouted Haruna with a smile as she pointed dramatically at Yue.

Yue rolled her eyes as she could see that Haruna was only mimicking Ryūichi Naruhodō for the hell of it and wasn't actually objecting to what Yue was saying.

"Y-Yes," answered Konoka nervously. "I am."

"Haruna is wrong about a great many things pertaining to this situation but she's right about one thing," said Yue. "Without your permission, Setsuna won't rat you out and without her cooperation, my threats are all hollow." Haruna performed a brief victory dance.

"Okay," said Konoka meekly.

"With your grandfather being the Headmaster of Mahora Academy, I doubt that an official investigation would get very far, anyway."

"Okay," said Konoka meekly.

"Which is probably for the best, for your family's sake," said Yue.

"My... family's sake?" asked Konoka.

"You mean you didn't know?" asked Yue. "Oh, you are going to _love_ this one, Konoka! Despite you treating Setsuna like a piece of shit, she's chosen to remain silent about this not for any special love of keeping your made-in-heaven romance going... or not even because she doesn't want to commit sepukku... but because she doesn't want to disgrace your family's name by connecting it with the scandal that would occur by implicating you as an accomplice... nor would she want to put your grandfather in a difficult spot."

Setsuna shifted her jaw. This was a slight bending of the truth but she wanted to see where Yue was going with it.

"W-What do you mean?" asked Konoka.

"Let's talk about what would happen if Setsuna disregarded your gag order and reported Haruna to your grandfather," said Yue. "As an impartial dean, your grandfather would have to make this misconduct a matter of public record by turning this over to the local authorities. Such a record would contain all of the details of the case, including the damning detail that a member of the Konoe family kept this crime under wraps. If he handled this in-house and simply expelled Haruna or if you interfered on Haruna's behalf by convincing him not to expel her, he'd lose face by being the one responsible for denying Setsuna justice. _You'd_ have the monkey off _your_ back but it would then be on _his_ back... and at his advanced age, hasn't he earned a decent and drama-free quality of life before he passes away?"

"Okay, now I'm really objecting, Yue," said Haruna. "Seriously, that's dirty pool."

"And as for your father," continued Yue, "I daresay that his dealings with his business associates would fare as well if they were to read the daily paper one morning and find that his daughter was involved in something so scandalous."

"Thanks for doing my work **for** me, Yue!" said Haruna with a wide smile. "Ha ha ha! Now she'll _never_ allow Sakurazaki to report this! Are you sure you're not secretly a Harukono supporter?"

"Be quiet, Paru," said Konoka.

"So, you see," continued Yue, ignoring Haruna's comments, "Setsuna sees the big picture and she's willingly taking one for the team. In this day and age, you can't buy that kind of loyalty... but you _can_ throw it away, apparently."

This news broke Konoka's heart. If she was the only one affected by it, she would rescind her request to Setsuna immediately and accept her punishment for her part in the assault. At this point, Konoka felt that a friend like Setsuna and a school like Mahora was more than she deserved – but there was Haruna to consider. Allowing Setsuna to report the incident to her grandfather would betray Haruna's trust which was something that Haruna didn't deserve and would never forgive. The absence of a solution to this without hurting someone she cared about was driving Konoka mad.

"Setsuna's given you everything she has to give, Konoka," said Yue. "She's even let you take something from her which you had no right to take: her dignity. Isn't her noble sacrifice worth even a small piece of your loyalty in return?"

"_Secchan... is this true?_" asked Konoka softly as she fixed her glance on Setsuna's knees. "_Why?_"

"_I would think that the answer was obvious, Ojou-sama," _said Setsuna, matching the softness of Konoka's voice._ "I owe the Konoe family my life. I've protected you from mages, demons and other sources of danger. Protecting the Konoe family from a scandal is child's play by comparison... and I don't even have to draw my sword to do it. But... Ojou-sama?_"

"_Y-Yes?_"

"_Please tell me the truth: did you know ahead of time that Saotome was going to announce her relationship with you to the class this morning?_"

Konoka's stomach turned.

"_Yes_," replied Konoka softly. "_I did. I'm..._" Konoka felt that there was no point in apologizing to Setsuna. Her consent to go along with Haruna's announcement was just one more knife for which she was responsible for sticking in Setsuna's back. Only people with pure souls had the right to ask for and receive forgiveness.

"_I see_," said Setsuna. _"Then, as Saotome asked Yue a moment ago, so do I now ask you: how is that having my back?"_

A lone tear ran down Konoka's face.

"_It's... not," _answered Konoka as she sniffled.

"_You approved an act that would have resulted in my humiliation,"_ said Setsuna.

"_I didn't want to,"_ said Konoka. _"I told her that I didn't want her to do that but she insisted and I..."_

"_And you relented," _said Setsuna._ "Yue, did you know ahead of time that Saotome was going to announce her relationship to the whole class this morning?_"

"No, I didn't," replied Yue, "but she dropped a hint or two. Once she asked the class to pay attention to her and given that it was so soon after she and Konoka hooked up, it wasn't difficult to figure out what she was going to announce."

"And that kick really hurt, by the way," said Haruna to Yue.

"You've kicked me before plenty of times," said Yue.

"Not like that I haven't. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were angry with me about something."

"_Yue had no prior knowledge of what this idiot was about to do and she __**leapt**__ to act on my behalf," _said Setsuna to Konoka._ "What did my 'best friend' do to act on my behalf?"_

"_Nothing_," said Konoka as she cast her eyes downward and fiddled with the buttons of her vest.

"_You... did... nothing," _hissed Setsuna._ "Nothing to help a friend who would give her __**life**__ without hesitation to save your life when your help wouldn't even have put a __**scratch**__ on you. I've never asked you to put yourself in harm's way for me and I never would. All you had to do was put your foot down and you did nothing. You couldn't be bothered to speak up and ask Saotome to shut her mouth when you knew her announcement would humiliate me. I had no prior knowledge that Yue was going to stage this Yuesetsu hoax... and I'm sure that you noticed that __**I**__ did nothing to spare __**you**__ the humiliation which you knew ahead of time __**you**__ would not be sparing __**me**__. I even used pointed words to convince the class that you were to blame for the disolution of friendship. I have to wonder if that makes my inaction better or worse than yours._"

_You're better than me, Secchan_, thought Konoka. _God bless you, you always have been._

"Konoka, what **wouldn't** you be willing to subject Setsuna to if you're willing to ask her to surrender her rights **and** give Haruna the green light to rub Setsuna's face in the ground in front of everyone?" asked Yue.

"_I... don't know," _answered Konoka as she sniffled and walked back behind Haruna._ "I... I can't do this anymore... I don't want to answer any more questions._"

"And you don't have to," said Haruna, rubbing Konoka's shoulder as she walked past her. "For the record, I wasn't _deliberately_ trying to rub Sakurazaki's face in anything when I was going to announce our relationship to the class. Up until I found out about her used pajama wearing fetish, I didn't have anything against Sakurazaki personally... but as the hired help, she's got to come to terms with her employer deciding for herself who she wants to date."

"'_Hired help'..._" muttered Setsuna to herself.

"Well, I guess that's that," said Yue as she threw up her arms and let them fall to her sides. "In spite of what you've facilitated, Setsuna's still loyal to you, Konoka. Congratulations, guys. You've pulled off the perfect crime. I'm sure your parents would be proud of both of you. You get off scott free and there won't be any justice for Setsuna." Yue pointed dramatically at Haruna. "**That**... is why I took it upon myself to shit all over your stupid little announcement to the class! They didn't know the whole truth about Harukono and, thanks to my interruption, they probably never will. Think of me what you like – and at this point, I don't give a candy-coated fuck _what_ either of you think of me – but I'd have been **damned** if I was going to allow the rest of the class to fuss and fawn over a pair of cowardly co-conspirators **or** allow you to set fire to the few fragments of Setsuna's dignity that she had left!" Yue lowered her arm and walked next to Setsuna. "Go find some other classroom in Mahora Academy to worship you as a power couple... assuming the rumor mill hasn't already branded you as posers throughout the entire school. The fact of the matter is that 3-A belongs to Yuesetsu now." Yue grinned and rested her head on Setsuna's shoulder, a simple act which Konoka watched with jealousy and would have loved to be able to do once more herself. "Setsuna and I may not be a genuine couple but at least **our** lie only affects **us** and isn't covering up a criminal act. Besides, I couldn't possibly do a worse job as her friend than you did, Konoe."

"'_Konoe'_?" asked Konoka as she performed a double take.

"Yue," said Haruna. "What-"

"**Don't** use my first name; either of you," interrupted Yue, lifting her head up from Setsuna's shoulder. "You've forfeited yobisute with me." Yue turned to face Konoka and pointed at her. "And you! Do you really think that you _still_ have the right to address Setsuna by your pet name for her? Setsuna may be too timid or too polite to say it but I'm not; I have lost **all** of the respect that I ever had for both of you. In my opinion, you're traitors to your gender as well as to Negi-sensei for betraying the unwritten ethical code he expects all of his ministrae to follow. I can't be friends with anyone who casts aside their honor when it's convenient and if we can't be friends, then we'll be _enemies._"

"Will it just be you as my enemy, 'Ayase'?" asked Haruna. "Or should I expect the rest of your colony's soldier ants to come gunning for me?"

Yue paused for a moment as she measured Haruna, contemplating the most effective riposte she could devise.

"Setsuna, notice how Haruna can never pass up a short joke," said Yue as she kept eye contact with Haruna so as not to miss her reaction, "but if you make even a _tiny_ comment about that ever-expanding pudding-filled garbage bag she has for a backside..."

With wide circular eyes, Haruna placed her hands over her mouth and let out an exaggerated gasp which sounded like a diver coming up for air after two minutes of being submerged.

"...she just can't take it," continued Yue.

"So noted," said Setsuna with a grin.

Haruna turned to face Konoka and held her upper arms firmly with both hands.

"Konoka, we're going jogging together **every** morning before school – starting tomorrow!" stated Haruna.

"B-But I make breakfast for Asuna every morning!" said Konoka. "Why do _I_ have to jog _with_ you? It's not _my_ ass that's getting fat-_d'oh!_"

Haruna's eyes shrank into black dots as sheets of tears poured down her face.

"Shining star? _You think my ass is getting fat, too_?" asked Haruna in a high pitched voice with her hands held close to her face.

"No, no, of course not!" said Konoka in an attempt to minimize the damage. "I worded that poorly!" Konoka waved her palms dismissively. "Y-Your ass is fine just the way it is!"

"Tch!_'Getting'_ fat?" scoffed Yue. "If your ass is _'getting'_ fat, then the headmaster is _'getting'_ old."

"Shut up!" said Haruna, looking over her shoulder at Yue.

"That's not nice, Yue," said Konoka.

"You want 'nice' from an enemy? I see no reason to treat you with respect if we're enemies," said Yue. "You've never had me as an enemy before so I'll give you fair warning: I don't fight fairly."

"And **you've** never had **me** as an enemy before," spat Haruna as she turned around and faced Yue, "so let **me** give **you** fair warning: _I don't win graciously._ So you'd better be ready to do your worst, gashapon, because you can be damned sure that I'll be ready to do mine."

"That's fine with me, Saotome. Don't talk to me again as if we're friends. That goes for both of you. Until you've both confessed your crimes to the headmaster and begged Setsuna for forgiveness, we have nothing further to discuss."

"_Yeahhh_, I don't see that happening."

"Well, until you do, we're only classmates and begrudgingly so, at that. When you've done the right thing, **that** is when I will forgive you."

"I think you know where you can shove your forgiveness, 'Ayase'."

"Up my _proportionately_ sized ass, I would imagine," said Yue with a smirk. "Konoe, with my current living arrangements being what they are and with your grandfather wielding a great deal of influence, I suggest that you start having him pull strings to immediately have Saotome transferred to a different room. Nodoka and I shouldn't have to move because of this girl."

Neither Haruna nor Konoka could believe what Yue had just said. Fights were fights but this had just turned into a divorce. Even Setsuna was impressed with how far Yue was willing to take this.

"N-Now wait just a minute!" said Haruna. "Why don't **you** move out of **my** room? _You're_ the one who's got a problem with me – and who granted you custody of Nodoka? And since when do you speak for her? She's **my** friend, too! She was my friend long before she was yours! If she wants me to move out, I want to hear it from her, not some tsurupettan lawn jockey posing as a district attorney."

"Why should **I** have to move?" asked Yue. "**I'm** not the one guilty of a crime."

"_Suspected_ of a crime!" said Haruna.

"I'm not the one _suspected_ of a- oh, _you know what? Fuck_ that! I don't owe you the 'innocent until proven guilty' courtesy any more," said Yue. "Slander be damned, you're guilty because you **are** guilty, Saotome. You know it, I know it, Konoe knows it and Setsuna can't help but know it! As for Nodoka, I believe that I speak for her as much as any honorable girl could! And custody of Nodoka is mine by default."

"On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that she's entitled to a safe living environment. She would never go along with sharing a roof with a remorseless sex offender! If she slept in the same room as you, who's to say that you could resist the temptation to become a _repeat_ offender?"

The insinuation that her beloved was some sort of sexual predator was offensive and more than Konoka was willing to take lying down. As rage coursed through her veins for the first time since this meeting began, she spoke up in her girlfriend's defense.

"_Hey! That's-_"

"_THAT TEARS IT!_" shouted Haruna. The manga-ka reached out toward Yue's chest with her right hand, grabbed a fistful of shirt, twisted the portion of cloth in her grasp and drew the wearer of the shirt closer.

"Paru-chan, _NO!_" shouted Konoka. The last thing Konoka wanted was for violence to break out between her precious friends – even if they were not on friendly terms at the moment.

"_HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I'D_-"

Haruna quickly silenced herself.

The body part into which she was yelling turned out to be a collarbone instead of a face – which wouldn't have been so bad except that the collarbone in question belonged to Setsuna, as did the shirt.

The angry face that Haruna saw as she looked up also belonged to Setsuna.

The swordswoman had used her superhuman speed to place herself between Haruna and Yue, thus allowing Haruna to grab her instead of her intended target. Haruna smiled nervously as she slowly relinquished her hold on Setsuna's shirt but Setsuna quickly took hold of Haruna's wrist and held her in place. The nerves in Haruna's wrist sang out in pain as she tried to pull her arm free of Setsuna's grasp to no avail. She had more than a few kilos on the swordswoman – all of them solid muscle in Haruna's opinion – and yet Setsuna didn't move a centimeter in any direction as Haruna pulled to free herself; not even Setsuna's arm moved. It was as though Setsuna had become a solid bronze statue welded to the floor and her hand had become a manacle with no give to it whatsoever. Was this a Shinmeiryu chi ability that she had never seen before?

"Saotome," said Setsuna. The manga-ka's name oozed forth from Setsuna's sneering lips with the same inflection she reserved for saying other unsavory words like _carnbuncle_, _parasite_ or _explosive diarrhea_. "This may be difficult for you to understand and even more difficult for you to do... but I would be extremely cautious in choosing my actions if I were you. So Yue threw words at you which you didn't like. With the exception of her insinuation that you would do to Nodoka-san what you did to me, her words were both justified and accurate. Throw words back at her if you wish but you will **not** manhandle her in my presence unless you wish to earn my scorn. _Would you really risk doing something as foolish as earning my scorn twice in one hopefully very short lifetime?_"

"Let me go, Sakurazaki," said Haruna, trying her best not to panic or cry. She made a silent vow never to wear fur as she could now fully sympathize with the plight of an ensnared animal. Her shoulder felt as if her arm was going to pop out of its socket if she continued to pull and yet she couldn't stop trying.

"Let her go, Setsuna," said Yue as she placed her hand on Setsuna's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "This won't accomplish anything." Yue wanted Haruna to be freed since she feared that Setsuna might slip into another ka'a-kuruhk fit of rage – and how to deal with evisceration was not the lesson Haruna needed to be taught.

Setsuna continued to hold on to Haruna's wrist and stare at the bespectacled eyes which refused to meet her own. Haruna continued to grunt and growl as her feet shuffled and slid as she tried in vain to use her legs to pull herself free of Setsuna's grasp.

"Answer the following questions, Saotome," spat Setsuna. "With a yes or no: would you risk earning my scorn again? Do you think you can activate your artifact before I can smack your stupid card out of your stupid hand?" Each of Setsuna's questions were asked louder and in a higher register than the one before it. "Would you dedicate eight years of your life away from Konoka-Ojou-sama in order to learn how to protect her? Would you give your life to save Konoka-Ojou-sama's life? Would you be surprised if I were to forget my vow and beat you into a bloody pulp? _Are you scared of me?_ _**Do you believe in heaven and hell?**_ _**ANSWER ME!**_"

"Setsuna, quit it!" warned Yue.

"_Secchan, please let her go_," said Konoka. "_You're hurting her and you're scaring me._"

"I'm only holding her and asking her a few simple questions, Ojou-sama," said Setsuna. "You said I was not to harm her and I am not harming her. Saotome's the one hurting herself by moving around. Can a girl not hold hands with her idiotic fiancée and get to know her better?"

"I don't have to answer any of your crazy questions, Sakurazaki," said Haruna stubbornly as she began to panic. "And I'm not your fiancée. Now let me go... or I'll scream."

Setsuna found Haruna's threat to be so ludicrous that it was enough to return the swordswoman's eyes to their normal appearance.

"You'll scream?" asked Setsuna, smirking and feigning fear of Haruna's threat. "Oh, dear! She'll scream! I think she means it! Easy, Saotome. There's no need to do anything rash!" Setsuna released the manga-ka's wrist, causing Haruna to stumble backward and fall to the floor on her backside. Yue saw Haruna's panties as she landed.

"Nice panties, Saotome," said Yue. "I didn't know that that particular style was available in kaiju."

Konoka reached down and helped Haruna up off the floor. Setsuna looked back at Yue with mock shame.

"Yue, I've been a baka," said Setsuna. "I trained my damnedest at the Shinmeiryu school for so long to become a competent warrior when all I had to do to defend Konoka-Ojou-sama from those wishing to do her harm was to _scream_ at them."

"It's such a formidable defense technique that I'm surprised it didn't occur to someone to tell you about it sooner," said Yue, playing into Setsuna's sarcasm.

"I _know_, right?" said Setsuna. "There go eight years of my life that I'll never get back." Yue returned her attention to Haruna and pointed dramatically at her.

Haruna hated being bullied but she hated being trolled even more.

"You have twenty four hours to vacate **my** room, Saotome," said Yue. "Whether Konoe manages to get you a permanent room or not, I want you **moved out**. And if you remove or damage any of my personal belongings during your move, I'll find you sooner or later... and then _I'll_ remove or damage something of _yours_." Yue cracked her knuckles to illustrate that Haruna's body parts would be given equal consideration. A tiny sweat drop ran down Haruna's temple as she realized that while Setsuna was forbidden from harming Haruna, Yue was under no such obligation.

"My guess would be my ankles," said Haruna. "Assuming you can reach that high."

"Well, now that you mention it, your ankles _are_ a logical choice considering how weak they must be from the stress of supporting all that excess rear body mass."

Haruna's face was red with embarrassment and frustration at the knowledge that there was little that she could do about these bold insults. Combatwise, she was out of Setsuna's league and with her Ariadne Academy training, even little Yue could mop the floor with her if provoked. In an attempt to take her frustration out on something, Haruna punched a nearby theater sandbag suspended on a rope. Unfortunately, the sandbag was packed tightly and had little give to it. Haruna yelped as she held her aching hand and as Konoka attempted to take Haruna's hand to heal it, Haruna pulled it away out of stubborn pride.

"Is this what you meant to do, Saotome?" asked Setsuna. The swordswoman effortlessly lifted an untethered sandbag that was sitting on the floor as though it weighed no more than her book bag, tossed it straight up into the air at eye level and punched it, all with the same hand. Konoka yelped at the sound the bag made when struck and nearly lost control of her bladder. Setsuna looked at the rapidly emptying sandbag she now wore on her arm, having punched a hole clean through both sides. Konoka trembled with fear as it dawned on her that the only thing keeping Haruna's head from sharing the same fate as the sandbag was Setsuna's loyalty.

"Come on, Kono-chan," said Haruna as her gaze remained fixed on Yue's. "These girls are upsetting you." Haruna turned her back on her classmates both figuratively and literally as she proceeded to walk to the exit. Removing the broken bag from her arm and dusting sand grains from her shirt and vest, Setsuna ground her teeth at the sound of Haruna speaking Konoka's name of endearment. It popped a bubble in the bubble wrap of her soul.

"_Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,_" said Yue as she synched each boom to coincide with Haruna's footsteps to illustrate the impact her movement had upon the earth's crust. Haruna gnashed her teeth when she had deciphered Yue's taunt and opted not to acknowledge it. Setsuna smirked as Yue continued to make fun of Haruna's posterior. "If you go out for dinner after you finish packing, might I suggest asking your waiter if the chef can prepare a _**diet**_ Tokyo for you, Saotome?"

Konoka turned to look at Haruna as the manga-ka walked past her. She turned to face Setsuna and Yue, then Haruna and then back again, taking small steps toward the exit.

"Yu-... _Ayase-han..._" said Konoka softly as tears began to well up in her eyes. "_I... I never wanted it to come to this. I never wanted __**anything**__ like this between us. Please believe me._"

Ordinarily, Setsuna couldn't bear to watch Konoka cry but both of them were different people after today. Once this meeting was over, Setsuna would see to it that Konoka would find out just _how_ different she had become.

"Then _why_ didn't you do the right thing when you _should_ have?" asked Yue with the utmost sincerity. "Does Setsuna's respect matter that little to you?" There appeared to be no getting through to Haruna but Konoka might be the weak link that was ripe for breaking. All Yue needed to do was push Konoka to where she would initiate a breakup. Once Konoka and Haruna were split, Setsuna would have the motivation to find a non-lethal cure for her curse. Yue felt that if she could speak to Konoka alone, there was a chance that she might be able to reason with her. However, with the declaration of war, opportunities to speak with Konoka alone were most likely going to become increasingly rare.

"**Kono-chan?!"** barked Haruna.** "**_**Let's go!**_"

_Pop._

"I'm coming!" shouted Konoka politely as she ran after Haruna whose distant shout reminded her that she was left alone with Setsuna and Yue, a predicament she didn't want.

And she really did need to pee.

Setsuna turned to face Yue and saw that her face had become pink with grief. Yue sniffled as she wiped a tear from her eye. There was no true hatred behind Yue's words; the theatrics were just for show. Yue still loved Konoka and, while she had no wish to say it out loud in front of Setsuna, she still loved Haruna as well. All Yue wanted was for both of her companions to step back into the world of light and accept responsibility for their actions as decent human beings. Why was that so much to expect?

"Yue..." said Setsuna. "Are you all- wait, someone's coming."

Footsteps full of purpose approached the stage. Their owner scrambled onto the stage, walked around the backdrop and revealed themselves to be Haruna – minus Konoka.

"You know something, 'Ayase'," said Haruna as she pointed at Yue. "You think you've got me all figured out so now it's my turn to tell you what I've figured out about _you!_ In the bingo game of life at Mahora Academy, _you're nothing but a free space!_ The only value you ever had to anybody was what Nodoka, Konoka and I... people with _real_ value... gave to you! You were a **nobody** when we brought you into the fold and you're a **nobody again without us!** So go ahead and be my enemy for all the good you think it'll do you! At least this way, I know whose side you're on!"

"I'm on the side of **justice**," said Yue as she fought back tears she did not want to give Haruna the satisfaction of knowing her cruel words had harvested. "If you and I aren't on the same side, what does that tell you?"

"It tells me that you should go _fuck_ yourself, you traitorous little pinworm nobody!" spat Haruna. "Oh, and for the record? _I'm __**totes**__ a Nodoka/Negi shipper now!" _Haruna turned to face Setsuna. "And as for you, Sakurazaki, I know what you're really after so let me break it down for you. What you want is nothing but a pipe dream. You were given the Konoka ball before and you've dropped it every time. It's my turn now... and I intend to run with it. I'm going to make Konoka happier than you ever could and if you think she'll keep your bony ass on the payroll if you so much as lay a _finger_ on me, you're dead wrong."

"You should have left while you had the minimum number of unbroken bones to do so, Saotome," said Setsuna.

"Setsuna?" asked Yue. "Wait... _Wait!_"

Setsuna began to walk toward Haruna, closing the wide gap between them at a brisk pace. Yue kept up with Setsuna and held onto her right arm at the elbow. She held the swordswoman and stopped walking but it only made Setsuna drag her across the floor as though she were waterskiing on dry land.

"Aw, did I make you maaaad?" taunted Haruna, returning the trolling favor. "Do you want to kick my ass? Well, go ahead and try! You surprised me earlier but I've got your number now, see? Take your best shot! But remember... if you do, any chance of your hopeless pipe dream becoming a reality goes up in smoke... so it would be your loss as much as mine, really." Haruna placed her hands behind her back, turned her head slightly and closed her eyes, giving Setsuna as clear of a free shot at the side of her jaw as one could hope to get.

"Don't do it, Setsuna," warned Yue. "Listen to me. She's right. If you hit her even once, everything we've worked for – everything _you've_ worked for – will have been for nothing. Don't hand her your only hope when it's the one thing she can't take from you. Please."

Setsuna slowly raised her trembling right fist as she stood centimeters away from Haruna. Hot angry tears ran down Setsuna's face as she fought the nearly overwhelming urge to send her fist right through Haruna's face. If Setsuna was taught one thing from her time at the Shinmei school, it was how to use her hands to harvest blood, broken bones and regret from her opponents. She saw the sand on the floor and remembered how much more blood there was on the carpet when she blew Haruna's head off in Yue's Prohibere Paenitet illusion. A thieving fool stood before her; taunting her and begging for death. Setsuna would have given up anything to grant this fool's last wish.

Anything, that is, except for her one chance to reunite with her Kono-chan as girlfriends, if not a married couple in the eyes of the crow tribe.

Setsuna's expression shifted from rage to confusion as she looked at her right hand. Without noticing, her fist had managed to unclench and she saw her own open palm. She looked at her left hand and that was also now open. Suddenly, Setsuna understood what had happened. Her body had made the decision that her mind refused to acknowledge. She could have the fists that could certainly crush her enemy today or the open hands that could possibly embrace her one true love Konoka in the future.

She could not have both.

With nothing left in her tank, Setsuna sank to her knees, covered her face with both hands and cried in front of Haruna. Once Yue had completed her sigh of relief, she ground her teeth in anger at how callously Haruna treated Setsuna. It was a scene that she wished Konoka had been around to witness, for it would have gone a long way toward getting the healing mage to reconsider their relationship.

"There's no reason to be upset with yourself," said Haruna. "You did the right thing. The _smart_ thing. For what it's worth, I honestly didn't want things to turn out the way that they did for you but I'm making the best lemonade that I can with the lemons I've been given. It's not my fault if you can't be satisfied with the peels."

"_I hate you so much, Saotome_," whimpered Setsuna softly as she looked up into Haruna's eyes, "_...but I love Konoka-Ojou-sama even more._"

"Too little... too late," said Haruna with a shrug. "For better or worse, our fates are intertwined now, Sakurazaki. I don't like that any more than you do but if it's any consolation, _you're_ the one in the driver's seat, not me. If _I_ lose blood, **you** lose face. It's as simple as that. So you'd better chill the **fuck** out, leave us the **fuck** alone and keep your **fucking beak shut** if you know what's good for y-"

Earlier, the acoustic potential of the auditorium was too much for Haruna to resist testing out with a song. Now, it was Yue's turn at testing the acoustics behind the stage by laying a thunderous slap across the face of her new enemy. Despite the lack of acoustic enhancing space, it sounded like what a bullwhip would sound like if it struck a catcher's mitt. Staggering a few steps backward, Haruna found that her glasses had been knocked off of her face and clattered as they landed on the wooden floor. She held the side of her face that Yue had struck, incredulous that the blow had actually taken place. In all the time that the Library Exploration Club utilized fake slaps, few had ever accidentally connected and, out of those, none were intentional.

Haruna was now officially at war with her former best friend and her left cheek had the distinction of being the first casualty.

"MONSTER!" yelled Yue angrily. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! **NOW!**" Yue pointed to the right side of the backdrop where Haruna first entered to direct her to the way out.

Keeping her hand against her face, Haruna quickly picked her glasses up from the floor with her free hand and ran away with her virtual tail tucked between her legs. Once Haruna disappeared behind the backdrop, her sobs, as well as the sound of her shoes striking the floor as she jumped off the stage, echoed through the auditorium. Her sobbing ceased after she ran through the exit door – only to be replaced with Yue's own sobs.

Earning Nodoka's hatred was Yue's greatest fear and if the fear of earning Haruna's hatred wasn't felt as strongly then perhaps Haruna was right about her all along and that she had subconsciously played favorites. Setsuna rose to her feet and held Yue in her arms as she reflected on how an idiot like Haruna could reduce two intelligent girls such as themselves to tears like this.

"I tried, Setsuna," said Yue as she sniffled. "I really tried. Haruna's an idiot sometimes but I never knew how deeply her mean streak ran."

"You did your best, Yue," said Setsuna. "I never expected that this would be a war won in a single battle. You've done nothing for which you need to feel shame. You fought for me honorably and I'm proud of you." Setsuna remembered when Yue had pulled the witch's hat over her face to cheer her up and felt as though she ought to try to lift Yue's spirits with levity. "You probably don't want to hear this right now but I have to tell you something. That was **the** most epic slap that I've ever witnessed in my entire life. The execution was perfect, the target was caught unaware... and that sound! If I ever do snap, I'll be sure to bring Saotome here to help me perfect that slap."

"Even if it takes all day and all night to do it?" asked Yue jokingly as she appeared to be over the worst of her grief. Setsuna released Yue and made eye contact.

"**Only** if it takes all day and all night to do it," said Setsuna with a smirk.

"I could teach you how to do it. All you have to do to is- what was that?" Yue pointed at the sheet rock behind Setsuna.

"What was what?" asked Setsuna as she looked over her shoulder.

"Something just moved over there."

"Near the floor?"

"Yeah."

Setsuna took a few steps toward the sheet rock and Yue followed her closely.

"It's probably just a r_**AT?!**_"

Yue couldn't hear Setsuna's guess over the sharp sound her hand made when it struck Setsuna's behind after lifting her skirt.

An open mouthed smile kidnapped Setsuna's face as she rubbed her rear and slowly turned back around. Her mischievous pretend girlfriend had taken a seat in one of the wooden chairs as protection against gluteal retribution.

"That was for goosing me in class earlier today," said Yue as she cast her eyes downward and fought an uphill battle against smiling.

"A slap on the ass is greater than a goosing so you've got some change coming," said Setsuna.

"Oh, you know, that's okay," said Yue. "Feel free to keep it."

"Oh, but I insist," said Setsuna. She took Yue's ponytails, brought them around and tied them together in a knot in front of Yue's face, covering her eyes. She then did the same to Yue's braids, pinning the ponytails against Yue's face even more securely. Yue chuckled nasally at her bizarre punishment.

"Saotome forgot one very important thing when she dismissed you as being a 'free space'," said Setsuna. "One which I believe works out to our greatest advantage."

"What's that?" said Yue, her sleigh bells jingling from her attempt to untie her hair.

Setsuna smiled as she held Yue's upper arms with both hands and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"In bingo, the free space helps you win."

"'_The free space helps you win'_," said Yue to herself to better grasp Setsuna's statement. There was enough truth in that statement to make Yue feel better about their position in this war.

"That's right," said Setsuna. "You're on my side and I believe in you. You're my trump card, Yue. I believe that I can win because I have you and they don't. I'm confident when this is all over, I'll have Konoka-Ojou-sama back and you'll have Saotome back. I'm only sorry that I'll be the one getting the better end of that deal by far."

"If you think that I'm going to win Haruna back after that, then I must be one hell of an amazing strategist because I can't see how that's going to happen. Actually, I can't see much of anything. Would you mind getting me out of this?"

"Here, I'll go get Yūnagi." Setsuna walked over to her bag where she had set Yūnagi down.

"Wait, what? Why do you need... _You don't mean that you're going to use your sword on my __**hair**__, do you?!_"

"Just hold still."

She heard the sound of Setsuna's sword being drawn.

"_Excuse me?_ Hold still for what? Setsuna, what are you doing?"

"Just relax. I'll have this hair off in a moment."

"Wait!"

"What's that?"

"Setsuna!"

She felt a length of smooth cold steel slide along her cheek beneath her hair mask. It began to move up and down in a slicing motion. Yue felt her heart pound in her chest and the sensation of liquid nitrogen being poured down her spine as she imagined her hair butchered by Setsuna's blade.

"_EEEEEEE! STOPSTOPSTOPSTOOOP!_" cried Yue as her arms flailed about frantically.

Yue's hair fell back away from her face and she discovered that the steel she felt rubbing against her face was one of the steel yardsticks from the construction equipment stack. Yūnagi and its scabbard lay on the floor, having only been used for sound effects. Setsuna laughed as Yue understood that she had been pranked.

"'_And that is how you handle a friend who does you wrong'," _said Setsuna._ "'Learn it. Use it._' Your words: taken to heart... and put into action."

Yue's circular eyes, triangular mouth and flailing arms made Setsuna laugh all over again.

"Th-Th-That was so _meeeean!_" claimed Yue as sheets of tears ran down her face. "You scared the umeboshi out of me! I really thought you were cutting my hair off."

"You're a fine one to talk about cruel pranks... _cough_Nodoka_cough_."

Yue pouted at the accusation that her own prank was worse than this one but she finally accepted it as truth and smiled.

"So maybe I had that one coming," said Yue, "but I'm officially calling for a truce. My heart can't handle another prank like that."

"Very well then," said Setsuna.

"Let's get back to the dorm and get changed for Asakura-san's photo session," said Yue as she grabbed her book bag. "I've got just enough energy to do homework and then go to bed."

"Not just yet," said Setsuna as she slung Yūnagi over her shoulder and picked up her book bag. "First, I need to make a stop at the headmaster's office."

"S-Setsuna?" said Yue as her eyes lit up upon hearing Setsuna's announcement. Had she decided to break her word after all?

"It's not what you think," said Setsuna, "It's something I must do if we're going to be taken seriously... yet... I fear that I lack the strength to follow through with it. Will you please come with me, Yue?"

"Of course," said Yue. "May I ask what it is?"

Setsuna whispered her intentions softly into Yue's right ear. The philosopher's eyes widened as the words she heard were quite surprising.

* * *

><p>"Good evening, headmaster-dono," said Kaede and Kū Fei as the door closed behind them.<p>

Konoemon Konoe sat at his desk and smiled as the two students he had summoned to his office had finally arrived.

"Good evening, Nagase-san; Kū Fei-san. As I'm sure that you're aware of the current situation, I was curious as to which of you would be interested in taking the position." Kū Fei scowled and ground her teeth upon hearing the headmaster's words. "I'd like to take you both on but I'm not sure my coffers could handle the strain. Ho-ho-ho! Now, the pay scale increases the longer you-" The headmaster sensed the concentration of chi building in Kū Fei but it was too late.

There was a clap of thunder as Ku Fei delivered a powerful dash punch which resulted in an explosive chi burst that smashed through the headmaster's desk which split it in half, and connected with the headmaster's sternum. The blow sent the headmaster flying out of his chair and crashing through the closed window behind him.

"DWAHHHHhhhhhh..." cried the headmaster as he plummeted four stories.

"UWAHHH!" exclaimed Kaede who was so shocked by the attack on the headmaster that her narrow eyes were uncharacteristically open. "Kū Fei-dono! What have you done?"

"Dirty old man!" spat Kū Fei to the headmaster who was no longer in the room. "We're teenagers, you pervert! Our grades aren't so bad that we'd lower ourselves by giving you sexual favors in exchange for money and better grades! We may be Baka Rangers but we'll improve on our own through studying hard... so keep your nasty wrinkled 'coughers**'** to yourself!" Kū Fei shuddered at the thought of what the headmaster was planning on doing to them. "You're my witness, Kaede. That disgusting pervert wanted us to assume sexual positions with him!"

All Kaede witnessed was a murder.

"Kū Fei-dono," said Kaede, "I believe the headmaster was referring to a **job offer**; not a lewd arrangement for better grades!" She rushed to the window and looked out of it to see if there was a chance that the headmaster might have survived the fall.

"Oh? _Oh!_ **Ohhhhhhhh,**" said Kū Fei. "I goofed."

"Correct and correct," said a voice behind them. Kaede and Kū Fei turned around and saw that the headmaster had entered his office through the front door. Tiny chunks of broken glass fell from his back and sprinkled onto the carpet with each step.

"Headmaster-dono!" said Kaede. "You're alive! You... _are_ alive, aren't you?"

"Ho-ho-ho, yes, I'm quite alive, thank you. Even in my advanced years, I'm a tough son-of-a-gun. Kū Fei-san, I hope you enjoy striking erasers together as much as you enjoy striking old men because that's all you'll be doing in detention each day after school until you graduate from junior high." The headmaster walked past both girls and sat back in his chair. "Martial arts is both a physical and mental discipline. You need to be as fast with your mind as you are with your fists. Nagase-san, Ku Fei-san's lack of control has now made her ineligible for the job so it's yours if you want it. If not, I suppose that I could give it to Tatsumiya-san but her rates are... less than affordable for long term contract consideration."

"But... headmaster..." began Ku Fei.

Kaede shook her head rapidly and gave Kū Fei a look to warning to discourage her friend from talking back to the headmaster. It was hard for most people to tell by his usual jovial demeanor but Kaede could tell that the man was annoyed right now and questioning his punishment was going to make things worse.

"Did you have something to say, Ku Fei-san?" asked the headmaster.

"Yes, headmaster. I'm sorry that I hit you and destroyed your desk but I couldn't help myself. I'm a fighting addict. It's a disease! Like gambling!"

"A disease, you say?"

"Yes, that's right! A disease!"

"Good heavens. That sounds rather serious! We can't very well have a disease affecting one of my students, can we? Well, it's a good thing that you came to Dr. Konoe's office!" Kaede felt that this sounded especially creepy and the tiny trickle of blood running down the headmaster's face from beneath his X bandage didn't help matters. "I can cure you of your disease using a time-honored medical procedure. It's called quarantining."

"Qua-ran-ti-ning?" sounded out Kū Fei who was unfamiliar with the word. "Ooh, what's that? Sounds like a shoulder strike/palm strike combo... _Qua Ran Ti Ning!_" Kū Fei struck out at an imaginary opponent with what she imagined the move was.

The headmaster picked up an upright microphone from his desk and brought it to his mouth.

"_**Attention all Mahora students and faculty members: until further notice, any student or faculty member found participating in martial arts training with junior high student number 12 Kū Fei from Class 3-A anywhere on or off campus – club activities included – will be suspended immediately for the first offense and expelled or terminated for the second offense. No exceptions will be made and no excuses will be heard. Written notices to this effect complete with Kū Fei's photograph will be posted throughout the school. That is all." **_The headmaster placed the microphone back on the desk and looked at Kū Fei. The Chinese girl's eyes were as wide as saucers and her mouth hung open, causing her to drool. The headmaster picked through the remnants of his desk and found a small digital camera. Turning on the camera and aiming the lens at Kū Fei's face, he took a snapshot and made a mental note to have Shizuna use the image for the notice posters. "Oh, and Kū Fei-san... if _you_ are found participating in martial arts training with another student or a faculty member on or off campus, _you_ will be suspended for the first offense and expelled for the second offense. Do I make myself clear?"

"Uhhhhhh..." Kū Fei couldn't remember how to use Japanese sentence structure.

"Excellent!" said the headmaster. "Ho-ho-ho! Do let me know how your recovery is coming along, won't you? In, say, a month's time? Oh, and this quarantine is in addition to your eraser cleaning duties, of course."

Kū Fei heard the headmaster but she couldn't grasp the concept of a _day_ without kung fu training, to say nothing of an entire _month_. There was only so much room for improvement if she only performed dai-hyakkyokus. She needed living, breathing and thinking opponents who were capable of blocking, dodging and counterattacking if she was to improve. What else did the world have to offer her?

"You mentioned some sort of job offer earlier, headmaster-dono," said Kaede as she shifted her attention between the headmaster and Kū Fei in case her friend was ready to faint.

"Yes," said the headmaster. "Do you want it?"

"Begging your pardon, headmaster-dono, but you have yet to reveal the details of this job."

"Eh? You mean to say that you don't know about it?" asked the headmaster. "I find that odd considering that she recommended you and Kū-Fei-san first. I'm surprised that she hasn't told you herself... but then, something seems off about that girl; something I can't quite put my finger on."

"'She', headmaster-dono? To whom are you referring?" asked Kaede.

Kū Fei swayed from side to side, looking as though she'd drop any second.

"Sakurazaki-san," said the headmaster. "As of this afternoon, Sakurazaki-san has resigned from active service as Konoka's personal bodyguard, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason."

Kaede did a double take.

"You don't say!" asked Kaede in disbelief.

Kū Fei fell to the floor with a thud.

Kaede was shocked by the news since Setsuna had unerringly served as Konoka's bodyguard for some time now. Kū Fei might have been equally shocked by it if she hadn't lost consciousness.

"Hmm," muttered Kaede quietly to herself as she held her chin. "Yue-dono and Setsuna-dono dating... Tatsumiya-dono backing down to Yue-dono... Kū Fei-dono barred from training... and now Setsuna-dono quitting as Konoka-dono's bodyguard? What next, I wonder?"

* * *

><p>Chachamaru entered Evangeline's cottage in search of her master and found her sitting in the kitchen. Evangeline was wearing a lovely pine green traditional Scottish tartan dress with a white chemise and a black velvet bodice, an ensemble that Chachamaru had never seen in her master's wardrobe before. In Evangeline's right hand was an empty shot glass and on the table lay a box made of wood; oak, if Chachamaru guessed the grain correctly. Unbeknownst to Chachamaru, the liquid that the Dark Evangel was gently swishing around inside her mouth was the first shot of extremely rare 1937 Glennfiddich single malt scotch whisky. She had won a bottle of the prized spirit from an auction in which the Yukihiro Conglomerate, the Konoes, the Nabas and several other wealthy parties engaged in a fierce bidding war to acquire. For the ridiculous price she paid for it, and the arm and leg she had to part with to cover competent international shipping, Evangeline was going to savor the first shot as slowly and deliberately as possible. She had been looking forward to this so much that she went so far as to order the custom made dress she now wore for the sole purpose of the first tasting to lend to the overall Scottish theme. She could have renovated Mahora Academy with what she had shamelessly paid for it but money was no object when it came to niceties. A happy vampire was a calm vampire and, whether consciously or subconsciously, everyone reaped the rewards of a calm vampire.<p>

Evangeline turned to face her gynoid partner and wondered why she seemed so distraught.

"Master..." said Chachamaru with tears in her eyes, "_I want to have a baby!_"

While Chachamaru found her master's spit take of whisky to the face to be most generous, the gesture did little to diminish her desire for a child.

(_If any of my readers were Haruna supporters before reading this chapter, their numbers have certainly thinned out after reading this chapter, wouldn't you agree? I used Phoenix Wright's Japanese name. Also, I got my law degree from Google University, meaning I know jack about law except for what I can learn while surfing the net. My latest research shows that I made a mistake in chapter 11 which I plan on fixing. When the one-handed Haruna asks where the jury of her peers was, she was talking about the jury system – a system which has been out of use in Japan since 1943. Egg on my face: I've got it. I apologize to the many attorneys, legal assistants and judges who are regular readers of mine that I've upset with my mangling of the law. And for the love of God, do NOT do an image search for carbuncles after you've eaten. You have been warned. Better yet, don't ever do an image search for it. Trust me on this._)


	16. Panty Serenade

Konoka examined herself in the mirror as she washed her hands and face at the sink of the Mahora basement level restroom, having seen to her urgent toilet needs a moment earlier. She didn't like the person she saw looking back at her and had her doubts that anyone else could, apart from Haruna. It may have simply been due to the lighting but Konoka thought that she looked as though she had aged twenty five years. Her pores were huge, her cheeks were sunken and her eyes, which many people had said were her cutest facial feature, were pink and glossy from the tears she had just shed in the auditorium with puffy bags under them that could pass for a pair of the stage sandbags.

Konoka wondered if she would have looked or felt this hideous if she had reproached Haruna more aggressively for her verbal attack on Setsuna and Yue regarding the sexual assault and how Yuesetsu didn't have a legal leg to stand on. She loved both Haruna and Setsuna and yet she also secretly resented both of them; Haruna for turning her two close friends into enemies and Setsuna for her persistently submissive role in their friendship that allowed Haruna to claim her heart in the first place. Despite being on the winning side of this battle, Konoka was left with a bad taste in her mouth – especially after Yue had severed her friendships with them – and the bitter flavor had yet to dissipate. Konoka had never lost a friend before and now she had lost two; three, once Nodoka heard about this whole mess – and heaven knew how many more of her treasures would slip through her fingers if the whole truth came out. Weren't fights supposed to have a winner and a loser? It certainly felt as though neither side won anything today. Taking two paper towels from the dispenser, Konoka dried her hands along with the ugly and unlikable stranger in the mirror and she made a mental note to pay this person fewer visits in the future.

As she left the restroom, Konoka saw that Haruna was not waiting for her outside the restroom. She was about to take out her phone and text her when she saw Haruna turn the corner from the direction of the auditorium. The manga-ka was running but skidded to a halt in front of Konoka who immediately noticed that she was in tears and had a slap mark across her left cheek.

Haruna knew that Konoka would want an explanation as to why her girlfriend was in such a state. She decided to offer one with a patented bit of Great Paru-sama humor in the face of adversity.

"I get the craziest sunburns, don't you think?" said Haruna with a sniffle and a smile. "And indoors, too."

Konoka's eyes widened upon seeing the pink hand print across Haruna's face and they quickly narrowed once she deduced who had given it to her.

"**Yue**," growled Konoka as she clenched her fists. Haruna might have laughed at Konoka's ridiculously cute Christian Bale Batman voice if Konoka had not begun to walk briskly in the direction of the auditorium. That, along with the look of determination in Konoka's eyes, led Haruna to guess that Konoka was bent on using violence to avenge her.

"Konoka, wait! Stop!" pleaded Haruna as a tear dropped from her cheek as she spun to follow her angry girlfriend.

"**No!**" said Bat-Konoka as she marched onward with tears budding in her eyes. "**Who does she think she is? She hit my girlfriend so now I'm going to hit her. Secchan won't stop me.**"

"But Yue might!" exclaimed Haruna as she held Konoka's hands and knelt before her, effectively blocking Konoka's path. "We're not fighters like them, Konoka. _Please_ don't go back in there. Listen, I... I had it coming, okay? I went back and... I taunted them." Haruna lowered her head as she confessed to Konoka. "I deserved what I got."

"You _taunted_ them?" asked Konoka in her normal voice. "What did you do _that_ for?"

"I'm sorry. I was still angry at them for making fun of me so I went back in there to get the last word while you went to the bathroom." Haruna looked up at Konoka and pointed to the slap mark on her left cheek. "This fashion statement is what I got for my troubles. I really don't want to see you wearing one just like it. Please... just let it go, okay?"

Unhappy with this resolution, Konoka maintained her frown as she stewed in her slowly assuaging anger. Without saying a word, Konoka turned on her heel and began to walk back toward the stairwell to return to the locker room for her shoes. As she fantasized about pounding on Yue, Konoka heard Haruna's footsteps behind her but when they ascended the first set of stairs, Konoka soon heard one set of footsteps: her own. She turned around to find that Haruna had stopped walking and was sitting at the top of the first flight of stairs, crying and holding her glasses in her left hand while rubbing her eyes with her right hand. Seeing Haruna in this rare state of grief melted away her anger and Konoka descended the stairs, sat beside her beloved and held her. Haruna whimpered into Konoka's chest.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" asked Konoka. "With me being the one crying, I mean."

"I have a good reason," said Haruna. "One of my best friends hates me now."

"Join the club," said Konoka. "You still have me, beloved."

"And believe me, that's the _only_ thing keeping me going right now."

"How did you _expect_ her to feel about you after that fight, Paru-chan? You laced into her... and you were really super mean to Secchan, too; a lot meaner than you needed to be." Konoka gave Haruna a light rap on the back of her head with her knuckles. "I know you wanted to state your case but the way you were acting... it was almost as if you were _proud_ of what you've done to her."

"How could you _**say**_ that?" asked Haruna as she removed herself from Konoka's chest by sitting up. "I'm not **proud** of it! I never wanted Yue to hate me! I never even wanted _Setsuna_ to hate me but I already knew there was no way around that! I'm Paru! I'm 'everyone's friend'! I don't want _any_ enemies; least of all ones that used to my best friends! Yue made us look like imbeciles in class! She just got me so riled up behind the stage that once I got started, I couldn't stop. I'm like a wild animal; if you back me into a corner, watch out because the fangs come out. My best friend sided against me... and I was too hurt to hold back. _'I'm on the side of justice'_ she said... and she's right. I've got no noble cause. I'm just trying to keep my head above water. So please don't think that I'm proud of anything I've done or said to either Yue or Setsuna. I don't have much pride left. I'm proud of _you_... but I'm having trouble coming up with anything else." Convinced that she had finished crying, Haruna returned her glasses to her face.

"You _could_ tell her that you're sorry."

"Yeah, right! What good would _that_ do me? _You_ heard her. She's not interested in either of our apologies, Kono-chan. She's only interested in you lifting Setsuna's gag order and me turning myself in to the headmaster. And if she won't forgive me until those things happen, then I've got two enemies for life." Haruna leaned forward and crossed her arms while resting her elbows on her knees. "Kono-chan?"

"Yes?"

Haruna closed her eyes and cleared her throat before speaking again.

"What would you do if your grandfather expelled me? Hypothetically speaking, that is."

"Well... my grades are pretty exemplary... and the Konoe name carries weight in this world... so I see no reason why your zone school wouldn't accept my transfer request."

Konoka's reply made Haruna smile.

_If Setsuna wouldn't feel obligated to tag along to be Konoka's bodyguard,_ thought Haruna, _then attending my zone school with Konoka might not be the worst thing in the world. Still..._

"I hate to keep asking you this," said Konoka, "but I'm the world's worst strategist; what do we do now?"

Haruna sighed as she took off her glasses and massaged the bridge of her nose.

"I think we should split up."

Konoka's heart skipped a beat and then pounded furiously. Her lungs rapidly took in and let out more air in the two seconds following Haruna's last words than they had during thirty seconds of regular breathing. Every cell of Konoka's body was flung into panic mode and she felt as though she would faint.

"WHAT?" asked Konoka as she grabbed Haruna's vest. "WHY? YOU CAN'T MEAN THAT! NOT AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH!"

Confused by Konoka's outburst, Haruna's eyes shrank into small black dots and her mouth narrowed into a diamond shape.

"Eh?" said Haruna. "What are you- OH! PFFTHAHAHAHA!"

"WAAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE SO MEAN, PARUUUU!" wept Konoka, releasing Haruna's vest as she ran down the stairs. Haruna quickly reached into her own shirt and extracted her card.

"Adeat," she said. A trio of tentacles extended from the pages of Imperium Graphices and grabbed Konoka, returning her to the side of the still snickering Haruna. Konoka squealed and bawled in protest of her seizure which caused one of the tentacles to wrap around her mouth and silence her.

"Would you get a grip, Kono-chan?" asked Haruna. "You misunderstood me, silly head! I didn't mean that we should _break_ up! I meant that **I** should go to **my** room... well, my _former_ room, now... to pack my stuff and that **you** should go back to **your** room to ask Asuna for our homework assignments and call your grandfather about getting me a new place to live." Realizing her error, Konoka rolled her eyes and let her head drop as she waited for her heart to sound less like a techno drum beat. "Are you going to stop making a racket now?" Konoka nodded. "Good. Abeat." Haruna's artifact returned to its card form and she tucked it back inside her left bra cup. "That was _some_ reaction there, Kono-chan."

"I'm sorry," said Konoka meekly, blushing over how incredibly dumb she must have looked. Haruna grinned. She slid her right palm under Konoka's bangs, lifted them and placed a kiss upon Konoka's forehead.

"You don't have to apologize," said Haruna, "but... it is kind of nice to know how much you want to be with me. I'd never break up with you so you don't have to worry about that." Haruna stood up, prompting Konoka to do the same. They ascended the stairs to get their shoes from the locker room and Konoka couldn't wait to go outdoors to get some fresh air after her heart-stopping mini-meltdown.

* * *

><p>Haruna and Konoka were the only passengers aboard the car of their train. Evening was nearly upon them and the summer sun was doing its best to maintain a presence in the darkening sky. The two girls sat side by side, holding hands and letting their thoughts drift, losing them to the hypnotic rhythm of the train's wheels clanking against the rails. To Konoka, this was easily as long of a day as the previous one and it was certainly no less traumatic. She wanted to sleep but doing so on the train was never a good idea.<p>

"Hey," said Haruna, breaking the silence, "if it's not too much of an imposition, could you talk to Asuna about letting me crash at your place for the night? I'm about ready to fall over."

"Oh, right!" said Konoka. "Wow, I wasn't even thinking about where you'd be staying. I'm really off my game today, aren't I?" Konoka conked herself on the head with her knuckles.

"It's understandable," said Haruna. "We've both been under a lot of stress recently. A little absentmindedness is to be expected."

"I'll talk to Asuna and you and I can share my bed... but there can't be any hanky-panky. We lie down together and we sleep. Got it?"

"Don't worry," said Haruna as she held up a hand. "You have my word that I won't start anything. I'm too wiped out to give you the amount of affection that you deserve, anyway."

Konoka smiled as she thought about their lovemaking which took place after they got back home from the tarring and feathering.

"You mean like earlier today?" asked Konoka as she playfully held her lower lip between her teeth.

"Yeah," said Haruna. "Like earlier today." Haruna smiled as she too recalled their most recent sexual encounter in vivid detail and she wrapped her fingers snugly about Konoka's as they gazed into each other's eyes. "I look back at my life before we fell in love and I wonder how I was able to get along without such a precious commodity in it. The intimacy we have is a privilege that I'll always strive to be worthy of having. You've given me a joy that I can barely put into words and there isn't a moment that I wouldn't want to share with you." Tears began to well up in Haruna's eyes as she choked up on her own words. "Thank you for giving me your love."

Konoka smiled and gave Haruna a few soft pats on the cheek.

"No crying – or you'll get me started, too," said Konoka. "If I've made you happy, it's because I want to return the happiness that you've given me. And that's already a pretty tall order."

Haruna looked at Konoka's beautiful smile and, for a moment, she could see the old woman Konoka would eventually become. If, as an old woman herself, Haruna could see this same smile – intended for her – many years later, she had little doubt that she would have lived a wonderful life.

"While I'm at it, I might as well tell Asuna about our relationship," said Konoka.

"Mm," grunted Haruna. "With any luck, she might even believe it."

"She will if _I_ tell her, at any rate."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that in addition to being a manga artist, I'm also a bullshit artist." Haruna rolled her eyes as she remembered the debacle involving the Yuesetsu coup and her subsequent ostracism.

"I just hope she'll be okay with letting you stay the night after she knows that you're my girlfriend," said Konoka. "She's not exactly fond of being subjected to occasional girl-on-girl encounters. And I don't know why but Asuna has never really been crazy about you to begin with."

"Yeah, what's up with that, anyway?" asked Haruna. "I've never even really _done_ anything to her to make her mad at me... on purpose. But after that tarring and feathering suggestion of hers, I'm not too crazy about 'Assume-a', either."

Konoka's eyes opened widely and she gasped at Haruna's audacity. She held her mischievous girlfriend's upper arms and squeezed them.

"**Haruna Saotome, you will not call her that,**" said Konoka sternly as she looked Haruna in the eye. "You know better than to say something like that."

"It's not as if she can _hear_ me from this train," said Haruna, shrugging dismissively.

"That doesn't matter," said Konoka. "This isn't some joke. You are **never** to refer to her by that name or any other name like it. Not in public, not in private, not to me or anyone else... but **especially** not to her or around her. Do you understand?"

"I understand," said Haruna, "but if you ask me, this whole Asuna thing was a bad idea from the start and I'll be the least surprised of all of us if it ends up blowing up in our faces before graduation."

"That won't happen if we watch what we say." Konoka crossed her arms, closed her eyes and sighed. "But if does happen, well... then it happens... but it's less likely to happen since everyone agreed to keep her in the dark... and that everyone includes you."

"Sure, why not?" asked Haruna rhetorically as she shook her head and looked up at the ceiling of the train car. "What's another dark secret to keep, right?"

Konoka didn't care for the flippant way Haruna was treating this situation.

"And if it _does_ happen," said Konoka, "don't let me find out that you're the one responsible or you'll have one very angry girlfriend on your hands."

"O-_kay_, I _get_ it," said Haruna. "Could we please not fight over this? Look, I'm sorry I even brought it up, all right? I promise that I won't say another word about it ever again. Happy?"

"Ecstatic," said Konoka with a grin and sparkles in her eyes.

The train arrived at the dorm stop and Konoka and Haruna made their way up the street and through the dorm lobby until they stood in the second floor's stairwell where the paths to their respective rooms were divergent.

"Call me when you've finished telling Asuna about us so I know that it's okay to head over, okay?" asked Haruna.

"Okay," said Konoka. "Oh, won't you need help packing, beloved?"

"Help? Me? Did you forget that I have _this_, love?" Haruna tapped her left breast with the fingertips of her left hand. Konoka's eyes shrank into small dots, confused by the gesture.

"Your... booby?" asked Konoka.

Haruna sputtered and laughed at Konoka's guess.

"No, silly," said Haruna. "My **card**."

"Oh!" Konoka giggled as she grasped Haruna's meaning. Haruna kept her artifact card within the left cup of her bra just as Konoka kept both of her own cards stashed away in both cups of her own bra – with enough of a corner left sticking out of each cup to easily extract either card if the need arose. With her Imperium Graphices, Haruna could summon several golems to assist her in the packing and toting of her possessions. "Okay, I'm not going to make any kind of judgment call for the rest of the night. My brain is officially on vacation," said Konoka as she scratched the back of her head in embarrassment.

"No worries," said Haruna. "See you in a bit."

"M'kay, bye."

The young lovers shared a brief parting peck on the lips and went their separate ways. Konoka didn't get much more than a few steps away when she heard Haruna's voice call out to her.

"Shining star?"

Konoka turned around and Haruna quickly moved in for a romantic, more involved kiss. It was so soft and sweet that Konoka couldn't hold back a slight sigh of pleasure. She placed her arms across Haruna's shoulders and behind her neck, returning the kiss with equal passion while Haruna gently slid her arms around Konoka's back to hold her closely. Konoka needed a kiss like this to take her mind off of her troubles.

_This is why I'm doing all of this_, thought Konoka. _This wonderful feeling of warmth and bliss that comes from sharing your feelings with someone you love. I regret that we've done some bad things to get where we are now but, Kami-sama help me, I'm afraid that I'd do far worse things before I'd let anyone take you away from me, Haruna Saotome._

Releasing one another slowly, Haruna and Konoka broke the kiss gently and both girls caught their breath while looking at one another as they smiled.

"That was... wow," said Konoka. "Can we do that again?" Haruna closed her eyes, folded her arms and grinned confidently.

"Secure a place for me to sleep and stash my things first... and I'll guarantee you another one just like it."

"Best deal I've heard all day. Consider it done."

"Oh, and Konoka?"

"Yes?"

Haruna fidgeted with the buttons of her vest as she spoke.

"I know that I promised not to tell anyone about what I did to Setsuna but... I was wondering if you'd be willing to give me permission to tell Nodoka. I'd rather that she heard about it from me than from Yue." Konoka placed a finger on her lips as she thought it over.

"Okay, I guess... but are you sure that telling her is even worth the trouble? I doubt that Nodoka would report you but I know she won't take your side in this."

"Believe it or not, I'm actually counting on that."

"Eh?"

* * *

><p>Yue and Setsuna stood side by side after closing the door to the headmaster's office behind them. To Yue, it was a door behind them. To Setsuna, it was a way of life that was now behind her; one which she had known since childhood and walking away from it was as foreign a concept to her as living on the moon.<p>

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," said Yue as she transferred her book bag from her left hand to her right. "You really resigned from service as Konoka's bodyguard."

"_I'm_ the one who resigned... and _I_ can hardly believe it myself," said Setsuna. "I feel like a baby chick that has broken out of its eggshell and is seeing the world for the first time. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared."

"It's to be expected. Before long, you'll be able to fly on your own. I know you've got it in you." Setsuna grinned at Yue's compliment as best as she could.

"I hope either Kaede or Kū Fei will take the position; they're both exceptional warriors and Konoka-Ojou-sama might try to ditch some suit-and-sunglasses adult male bodyguard who she doesn't know, thus leaving her unprotected. She's done so in the past."

"She'll be fine. We'll all be fine. This isn't the time for Setsuna to worry about Konoka. This is the time for Setsuna to worry about Setsuna." The two friends began their walk to the locker room. "What made you decide to cut the umbilical cord in the first place? I remember you saying '_She will always come first and my devotion to her is absolute'._"

"That was before I knew that she knew of Saotome's announcement ahead of time," said Setsuna as her nose wrinkled along with her brow upon remembering Konoka's inaction. "Konoka-Ojou-sama isn't required to care about me but to quietly stand on the sidelines and allow such a thing was unacceptable behavior. I have my pride. I respect action, honor and loyalty. Konoka-Ojou-sama exhibited none of those traits where I was concerned. She's different now. I could sense the change in her aura. Saotome is a cancer that is eating her pure soul from the inside out. However, my... feelings for Konoka-Ojou-sama remain the same and I _am_ still devoted to her despite my resignation."

"Changing the subject for a second, what about your tuition? Without your job, can you afford to pay it for very long?"

"To ensure that I would be by Konoka-Ojou-sama's side for the duration of her enrollment at Mahora Academy, her father has seen to it that my tuition was pre-paid up to university level."

"Wow, that sure was nice of him. Anyway, I think you're taking a step in the right direction. What you did must have taken a lot of courage for you to do and you have every reason to be proud of yourself for doing it. _I'm_ proud of you for doing it."

"Oh. Th-Thank you very much," said Setsuna, exchanging bows with Yue. They had reached the locker room and swapped their indoor shoes with their outdoor shoes. Both girls sat on the bench beside one another as they tied their shoelaces.

"You're the most essential part of Konoka's support structure next to Asuna and Haruna," said Yue. "Once Konoka hears about this, she'll be one step closer to asking... no, _**begging**_ for you to take her back."

"Yue, I have no wish to make Konoka-Ojou-sama _beg_ me for _anything_," said Setsuna. One by one, drops of perspiration ran down Setsuna's forehead – which was odd considering that she felt a chill. "Despite being under Saotome's influence, she is still my friend and the daughter of the man who s-saved my l-life." Setsuna's heartbeat quickened as she realized just who it was that her resignation would really hurt if anything happened to Konoka: Eishun Konoe. "If anyone should be... the one to beg, it sh-should be me... Beg... begging... begging..." Setsuna's eyes turned into a pair of spirals and she began to feel dizzy. "Begging-for-my-job-back-please-excuse-me-Yue." Setsuna rose to her feet and turned to dash back to the headmaster's office but fell over face first on the floor when Yue quickly wrapped her arms around Setsuna's ankles.

"I was **afraid** that you'd cave in!" said Yue with disgust as she climbed on top of Setsuna and straddled her lower back in order to pin her to the floor. "You need to stick to your guns on this, Setsuna! I won't let you degrade yourself."

"_Let me go, Yue!_" cried Setsuna, flailing her arms and legs about. "_I can't do this after all! I'm weak! There's still time to tell the headmaster that I've changed my mind before he contacts Kū Fei and Kaede!_" Out of desperation, Setsuna began to crawl like a tortoise in the direction of the locker room exit and, once the exit was cleared, it was off to the headmaster's office. Yue quickly removed her own vest, grabbed one of Setsuna's arms, held it behind her back, tied the vest around her wrist and did the same to Setsuna's other arm until both hands were secured behind her back. Setsuna growled in protest at her ensnarement.

"So you still want your old job back, do you?" asked Yue.

"_I don't want it... I need it!_" said Setsuna, grunting as she planted her feet into the floor to try and push herself forward and having little success.

"Since I believe that you're being honest with me, you leave me no choice," said Yue. "You'll thank me for this later." With that, Yue reached down and dug the fingers of both of her hands into Setsuna's ribs and tickled her vigorously.

"WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" squealed Setsuna as she kicked the floor and wriggled under the tickle torture. "STOP! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YUE! STOP! STOOOOOP!" Yue ceased the tickling and let Setsuna catch her breath.

"Now do you still want your old job back?" asked Yue.

"Y-Yes!" said Setsuna. "But I can't get it back if you don't let me go!"

Yue sighed.

"You're only making this harder on yourself." Yue resumed the tickling and moved her fingers slowly downward toward Setsuna's hips.

"DAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Fountains of tears shot out from Setsuna's eyes as she laughed herself breathless. She couldn't concentrate long enough to focus her chi into her arms to break free of the vest. "P-PLEA-HEE-HEEASE! S-STO-HOP! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Yue ceased the tickling and folded her arms.

"**Now** do you still want your old job back?" asked Yue.

"I'm serious, Yue," said Setsuna as she sniffled. "You must release me. I'm feeling–"

"That wasn't the answer I was looking for," interrupted Yue.

"Eh? W-WAIIIIT!" cried Setsuna.

Yue resumed the tickling; this time, she concentrated on Setsuna's armpits which caused the swordswoman to shriek even louder and struggle even more. Yue smiled as she seemed to have found Setsuna's sweet spot.

The next thing Yue knew was that she had somehow wound up on her back looking at the ceiling with a throbbing pain in both the back of her head and just underneath her left eye. She sat up and incanted a simple healing spell to ease her wooziness when she saw her vest on the floor and Setsuna kneeling and holding herself as she trembled with her head bowed. Since Setsuna hadn't run off to the headmaster's office now that she was free, Yue assumed that she had brought Setsuna to her senses with her tough love.

"_I summoned my wings to knock you off my back_," said Setsuna softly, keeping her waterlogged eyes closed as she continued to catch her breath. "_I panicked but I'm feeling... a lot more relaxed now. I'm sorry if I hurt you but you should have listened to me when I asked you to release me._" Opening her eyes, Setsuna stood swiftly, grabbed both of their book bags with her left hand and held Yue's left wrist with her right hand. She promptly led Yue to the nearby restroom where she released her before entering one of the stalls and closing the door behind her. Yue flinched as she saw three items fly over the stall door and land on the floor in a pile: Setsuna's skirt, bike shorts and panties. "_N-Now... p-please do me a favor and use your laundering spell to clean those for me... and let us never speak of this again._" Yue examined the articles of clothing and gasped when she saw that they were all a darker shade at the crotch due to being soaked. She heard Setsuna rapidly pull a great length of bathroom tissue from the roll and then tear it off.

"Oh, my gosh! Setsuna!" exclaimed Yue, placing her hands across her mouth in shock. "I'm terribly sorry. It hadn't occurred to me that I might make you pee yourself."

"_Th-That's... n-not... exactly... __**urine**__... on my clothing_," said Setsuna.

Yue's eyes shrank into tiny black dots and her jaw dropped as her face turned red enough for her to pass for a boiled octopus.

* * *

><p>Kū Fei coughed as she clapped her fifty-third pair of erasers together behind the school on the now silent receiving dock where trucks delivering shipments of supply goods were offloaded every day. She couldn't use her full strength to clap them together without damaging them so the process was long and boring, as it was intended to be. She felt that it might not have been quite as bad if there was some music here or someone to keep her company.<p>

_This is the 21__st__ century_, thought Kū Fei, _so why are we still using blackboards and dusty old chalk in schools, anyway? Why don't we have dry erase whiteboards like the kind in Hakase's computer lab? Colored lines on a white background are only about a hundred times easier for students to see from their seats than white powder on a blackboard. Does this school __**want**__ their students to strain their eyes while taking notes? If they really think blackboards are so great, why are we required to do homework with ink on white paper and not with chalk on black paper? Are markers and whiteboards really that much more expensive than stupid chalk? And what about health issues? Breathing this chalk dust can't possibly be good for my body. I could come down with some kind of lung disease the way coal miners do. Somebody had better provide me with a dust mask tomorrow. Grr... This whole thing makes me mad enough to hit someone... if only I could._

Chamo came walking around the corner pulling a small toy wagon behind him with more erasers in need of cleaning. He wasn't technically employed by the academy but since Negi had become a far more streetwise mage, Chamo felt that he was now obsolete to his aniki. He needed to keep busy and so he performed various "gopher" tasks for the magical teachers as well as for the headmaster. It wasn't the life he would have chosen for himself but he had shelter, was well-fed and received just enough money from Negi's allowance to keep him in cigarettes and cheap liquor; not to mention that it certainly beat the hell out of answering for his past panty-thieving crimes back in Wales.

"Hi, Kū Fei," sang Chamo. "I've brought you some more erasers."

"Oh, thank you, Chamo-kun," said Kū Fei. "You can just set them over there." Chamo climbed onto the wagon and started unloading the wagon by throwing one eraser onto the ground at a time.

"Hey, I heard that the old man put you in the doghouse," said Chamo. "No training for at least a month. That's got to suck. How're you holding up?"

"I hate this," remarked Kū Fei. "I'm stuck doing this instead of my favorite after school activity because my Japanese failed me."

"Ah, foreign languages aren't so tough, once you have the knack. I mastered Japanese almost as quickly as Aniki."

"I _have_ the knack. I just made a mistake and now I'm paying for it."

Chamo held his chin as he devised one of his clever ploys.

"Well, you _say_ that you have the knack for languages... but it's easier said than proven."

Kū Fei's eyes lit up with a spark.

"Is that a challenge?" asked Kū Fei.

"Depends," said Chamo. "Are you up for a challenge?"

Kū Fei's chi flared up at Chamo's ludicrous question as she posed dramatically.

"What a question! Who do you think I am? I live for challenges! I might not be able to fight but I'll accept any and every challenge that comes my way!"

"I'm glad to hear that. Are you familiar with Wales?"

"Um... Oh, _Wales_; Negi-bozu's homeland."

"And mine. I know a Welsh word that you couldn't repeat."

"If you can say it clearly, I'll bet that I could repeat it on the first try. If I do, you'll finish cleaning the rest of today's erasers for me. Deal?"

"Deal! And if you can't repeat it, you have to buy me a hardcover copy of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace. Deal?"

"Deal! Wait, what?" asked Kū Fei, perplexed by Chamo's unusually sophisticated choice of literature to be won in their wager.

"_Ahhhhhh_, I'm just messin' with you; I want a pair of your panties, of course."

"Oh! I was gonna say!" said Kū Fei, scratching the back of her head. The stakes were a bit high on Kū Fei's end but she didn't give it much thought since she was confident in her ability. "Challenge accepted, perverted ermine."

"Perverted? See, now, that's just hurtful."

"Stop stalling and give me the word. The sooner I get back to breathing dust-free air, the better."

"Okay. I'm going to say the word and as soon as I'm done, you have to repeat it. Are you ready?"

"Yes," said Kū Fei as she assumed a kung fu horse stance out of habit.

Chamo cleared his throat as he prepared to speak the word.

"_Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerych wyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogo ch._"

Kū Fei cleared her throat as she prepared to repeat the word.

"_Cào nĭ mā," _said Kū Fei out of irritation, giving up without even trying. "How was that? Did I capture the Welsh accent?"

"Oh, Kū Fei," said Chamo as he closed his eyes, stood on his hind legs and held himself while rocking from side to side, "If I could get a sample of you cursing as a ring tone for my cell phone, I could throw away my Christmas wish list this year."

"I call shenanigans," said Kū Fei, crossing her arms and pouting with her eyes closed. "That can't possibly be a single word."

"It is so a single word," said Chamo. "I wouldn't lie to you... but if you don't believe me, you can either ask Aniki or look it up." Kū Fei snatched Chamo from the ground in her right hand and brought him up to her face.

"_As if I could even begin to figure out how to spell that mishmash!_" spat Kū Fei as V-tears sprouted from the corners of her tiny circular eyes. "What does that stupid word even mean?"

"It's the name of a village on the island of Anglesey."

"What?" Kū Fei gave Chamo a squeeze. "Okay, the bet is off! That doesn't count!"

"Say what? Why doesn't it count?"

"You never said your word was a proper noun. That's cheating... and you're not getting any of my underwear."

"How can it be cheating if it's a word? So I never said my word was a proper noun... but I never said it was a common noun, either. Beijing's a city. Are you gonna tell me that Beijing's not a word?"

"You _would_ pick a city from my homeland as an example to get my sympathy... but it doesn't matter. Bet's off."

"Kū Fei, you **do** see the irony in welshing on a bet made around a Welsh word, don't you? I've seen you fight in tournaments. You're a great winner. You win at lots of things and I'm sure your ancestors smiled on you with every victory... but this time, you lost fair and square. Are you going to dishonor your ancestors by being a poor loser?" Kū Fei threw Chamo into the pile of clean erasers. Chamo was disoriented by the impact and it took him a moment to crawl back out of the eraser pile. What he saw next brought him the same level of joy a husband must feel watching his wife give birth to their child.

Muttering further Chinese curse words under her breath due to Chamo playing the ancestor card, Kū Fei reached underneath her skirt and crouched as she slid her panties down to her knees, stepping out of them one leg at a time. She then flung her underwear at Chamo with enough force to knock him off his feet and back into the erasers.

"There!" shouted Kū Fei. "Take your lousy panties and leave me alone! I hope you choke on them, you perverted hustler!"

"UWAAAAHHHH!" shouted Chamo.

"What are you screaming about?" asked Kū Fei.

"I was going to settle for a pair from your underwear drawer at a later date and you go and give me the pair that you're wearing! BONUUUUS! EPIC WIN! SWEET, SWEET NECTAR!" Chamo's victory cheers nauseated Kū Fei and she made a note to herself not to have any further dealings with the perverted ermine when her underwear was on the line. "Say, is there anything else I can do for you while I'm here? Like, tie your shoes for you? Or maybe help count your jumping jacks?" Kū Fei frowned at Chamo's suggestions, knowing that such activities were self serving as they would give him an upskirt view.

"You're neither a Mahora student nor a faculty member," said Kū Fei as she cracked her knuckles. "You I can hit all I want."

"Ulp! Message received!" said Chamo. "I should really get going. There's a wizard in town I know who can turn this into incense sticks for me and his shop's only open for another twenty minutes. Buh-bye!"

Kū Fei watched as Chamo placed her panties in a sealable sandwich bag, placed it in his wagon and pulled it along as he ran. Suddenly, her eyes widened until they were the size of saucers.

_Of course!_ thought Kū Fei. _How could I have overlooked that?_

"Chamo-kun!" cried out Kū Fei as she ran after Chamo holding her skirt taut against her thighs to prevent flashing. "Wait!" Chamo heard Kū Fei call for him and he stopped where he was until she caught up with him.

"A deal's a deal, kiddo. If you want these back-"

"Chamo, you're the answer to my prayers!"

"You and most women," said Chamo with a grin. "What can I do ya for?"

"You're neither a Mahora student nor a faculty member. That means _you_ could train with me!"

"Do what now?"

"You're small and fast so you'd be a more challenging target to hit!"

"Hit? Me? Get hit by you? Oh, I don't think I like the sound of that."

"I'd go easy on you. All you'd have to do is try to land a hit on me."

"Sweetheart, you can break solid rock with those fists of yours! I'd be turned into a sexy dollop of rice pudding with a single punch!"

"I can control my chi, Chamo-kun! Now come on! Please? I haven't practiced with a sparring partner in hours and I'm losing my mind!" Kū Fei wiped away a droplet of drool from the corner of her mouth.

"Yeesh! All the more reason for me to pass. Catch you later, kiddo."

"Wait! I can give you more panties!"

"I've already got a pair of yours. Can you get me someone else's? Maybe Satomi's or Satsuki's?"

"_I can't steal my friends' underwear!_"

"How are you set on money?"

"I'm broke."

"Then I'm sorry but there's nothing you have that I want; nothing that could justify the risk involved, anyway."

Kū Fei was nearly in tears as Chamo walked off once again.

"Wait! Please don't go! I'll do anything! I'll... _I'll suck your dick!_"

Chamo stopped walking and turned around.

"What did you just say to me?" he asked.

Kū Fei covered her mouth with both hands, surprised at the currency she was offering.

"I said... I'll... suck your... dick."

_Where on earth did that come from?_ thought Kū Fei. _I can't believe that I've sunk this low just to get a sparring partner. But it did get his attention... and how bad could it be? He's about the size of my shoe so he must have a super tiny dick, right? One as small as that is hardly worth getting worked up over. He's not a guy so it doesn't count as my first time... he's not kissing me so I don't have to worry about that whole "surrendering my lips" thing... and he's technically not an ermine so it doesn't count as bestiality, either. Ah! Listen to me rationalize this as though I'm actually going to do it! What do I know about sucking dicks anyway? I've only read about it in sex ed class and Paru's yaoi manga. I should tell him that I was only kidding. But I can't go a month without training. A month? WAH! How am I supposed to go even a week without training? Aaaaaaaah! That does it! I don't care what I have to put in my mouth! I'M AN ADDICT! I NEED TO TRAIN!_

"Kū Fei," said Chamo as he approached Kū Fei slowly. "You really do have a serious problem."

"You're telling me! I can't train without getting suspended. Will you help me?"

"Yes..."

Kū Fei gulped and trembled as she prepared herself mentally to swallow her pride – and spit out anything else.

"...but not by enabling you," continued Chamo.

"Eh?" asked Kū Fei.

"You offered an over-the-hill ermine elf macrophilic head in exchange for what amounts to a high impact game of whack-a-mole. This is not normal behavior for a girl your age... in Japan... for this time of year... without the presence of alcohol. You need to sit down with a licensed therapist so they can analyze you, learn what's making you so training-happy and... I dunno, maybe give you some happy pills or something. I'm going to have Aniki schedule an appointment for you with Shizuna-sensei so she can see if there's anything we can do for you on a local level. You're a sweet girl, you've got friends who care about you and you've got the rest of your life ahead of you. One way or another, we'll get to the bottom of this and you'll be back to your old self before you know it."

"Uh... okay," said Kū Fei.

Chamo walked away with his wagon and got about 20 meters away before running back to Kū Fei with lightning speed.

"Spit or swallow?" asked Chamo frankly.

"Spit," replied Ku Fei without batting an eyelash.

"Yeah, forget it," said Chamo as he walked away.

"Aiya!" cried Ku Fei. "Did I say 'spit'? Um... I meant 'swallow'!" _And quite possibly vomit_, she thought.

"Too late," said Chamo.

"M-My Japanese isn't so good! Come back! Me love you long time?"

"Sorry, babe, but the answer to the eternal question has to be an honest one that comes from the heart. It can't be manufactured. Otherwise, the art suffers."

With small circular eyes and sheets of tears running down her cheeks, Kū Fei watched as her only permissible opponent shuffled off into the sunset.

"_...BUT I MEANT 'SWAAAAALLOWWWWWWW'!"_

* * *

><p>"I am not going to put my naked body against Yue's naked body for a photo!" declared Setsuna.<p>

"So you're saying that you'll do it for a reason **other** than a photo?" teased Kazumi.

Setsuna and Yue were in Kazumi's room wearing casual yet cute street clothes just as Kazumi had asked. Kazumi wore a black belly shirt with a plunging neckline and tight light grey sweatpants with pink pipng that ran down the legs. They had nearly reached the end of their photo session which ran a bit longer than either girl was expecting due to the new creative poses Kazumi kept coming up with on the spot to capture their cuteness. This final idea for a Yuesetsu photo was a topless nipple-to-nipple double side boob shot and the suggestion alone was enough to prompt Setsuna to cross her arms in front of her chest defensively as though Kazumi was threatening to remove her blouse herself.

"D-D-Don't put words in my mouth!" stammered Setsuna, blushing as she protested.

"Would you take a chill pill, Sakurazaki?" asked Kazumi with a chuckle. "I'm not asking you to perform a porno scene with Yue-chan. It's just a tasteful nude with the naughty parts enticingly concealed. And neither of you will have to take off _all_ of your clothes; just your top." Ordinarily, Kazumi had a knack for making her subjects feel comfortable in front of the camera but Setsuna was a tough nut to crack. "You both have beautiful bodies. It would be a shame not to capture that beauty."

"What's the matter, darling?" teased Yue. "Are you afraid that once you go Baka Black, you'll never go back?"

"Don't be silly," said Setsuna. "My heart belongs to Konoka-Ojou-sama. A-And if anything, I fear that it's you who won't be able to get enough of me if we do this. You'll be troublesome once you grow attached."

"If you're so concerned about me then why are you blushing?"

"Why are **you** blushing?"

"I'm not!"

"Enough, guys," said Kazumi. The paparazzi placed an arm around Setsuna's shoulder. "Sakurazaki, do you know what Konoka is going to think when she sees this photo?" asked Kazumi.

"'_Why is Secchan such a loose girl?' _would be my guess," said Setsuna.

"No, she's going to think _'That should be __**my**__ chest against Secchan's. Wait a minute, why __**can't**__ it be my chest against Secchan's? I should leave Paru and return to my sweet angel's loving arms before it's too late'. _"

Setsuna's eyes lit up at the prospect of Konoka running into her arms.

"You... really think so?" asked Setsuna.

"I know so," said Kazumi.

"Yue? D-Do you have a problem with doing this?" asked Setsuna.

"Oh, n-no," said Yue, blushing slightly. "I think Asakura-san's right. A pic like this will definitely get a reaction from Konoka that will help us in the long run. And it wouldn't bother me to pose with you like that."

"Well, i-if it's no trouble... then I suppose I could do it."

Unaware of Kazumi's brainstorm of a final photo, Yue had worn a dress to the session so she would be in her panties for her pose but they wouldn't be visible since the shot would be from the waist up. As Yue began to remove her dress, Setsuna turned around and began to unbutton her blouse when she looked over at Kazumi who was smirking. "Would you please not stare at me? You're making me self-conscious!"

"Oh, come on, Sakurazaki!" said Kazumi. "I'm the photographer! Am I supposed to look at the ceiling? Yue's already topless so we're waiting on you." Setsuna turned to look at Yue and the philosopher's granddaughter was indeed bare-chested. "I'm a professional! And we're all girls here! There's no reason to be shy. Do I even have to bring up that we've all seen each other naked in the bath hall about a hundred times before?"

"The bath hall is a place for washing. There's a purpose in being nude there. This room feels as though it's taken on an indecent air."

"Would it make you feel more comfortable if I got topless too?" asked Kazumi as she lifted her shirt and exposed her lacy black bra. "Because I'll do it. I don't mind."

"How would that make me more comfortable?!" sputtered Setsuna. "Put that back on! Have you no shame?"

"We're not doing anything shameful here," said Kazumi, tugging her shirt back down, crossing her arms and closing her eyes. "Photography is an art and, as a professional, I resent the implication that my art is somehow dirty."

"I apologize, Asakura-san," said Setsuna with a bow. "I meant no offense."

"I'll accept your apology," said Kazumi, opening one eye, "but only _after_ I get the shot."

"Very well."

Not wanting to be disrespectful, Setsuna continued to unbutton her blouse.

"_Wah wah wahhhhh, wah-wah-wah wahhhhh_," sang Yue. Setsuna recognized the tune as the first few notes of The Stripper and she quickly rebuttoned her blouse.

"Forget it!" said Setsuna. "I'm done!" Setsuna walked toward the door but Kazumi cut her off and blocked Setsuna's exit with her body.

"YUE-CHAN?! CUT IT OUT!" cried Kazumi. "Sakurazaki, you're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry!" said Yue. "I couldn't resist! It's just too much fun to tease her. Now I know why Konoka used to do it all the time."

_Ojou-sama,_ thought Setsuna. Her eyes went blank as she recalled Konoka and the way they used to be. If this photo was truly going to be an instrument that could be used to get Konoka back, it made no sense for Setsuna to be bashful about doing something in front of her friends that she did on a daily basis anyway. Closing her eyes and shutting out all distractions or thoughts of embarrassment, Setsuna unbuttoned her blouse, flung it to one side and began to unwrap her sarashi. Kazumi pointed a warning at Yue to keep her mouth shut and Yue feigned a wounded and innocent expression.

"Why do you insist on wearing that dingy old sarashi instead of a real bra, Sakurazaki?" asked Kazumi.

"_I beg your pardon!"_ said Setsuna. "My sarashi is neither 'dingy' nor 'old'. I wash them after every use. I have thirty of them and I wear a new one every day so they see quite a bit of down time until they're back in rotation. And they're far more comfortable than you might think."

"Maybe for you," said Kazumi. "My girls are a little too bountiful to be supported adequately by a sara-... wait… do you really have _thirty_ sarashis?" Kazumi held the fingertips of her right hand to her smiling lips. "_I don't even have thirty bras!_ Yue, how many bras do you own?"

"I don't have a very diverse wardrobe," said Yue, "so I only have about seven."

"And I have nine," said Kazumi, "not counting my two sports bras."

"Is thirty such an unusual number?" asked Setsuna as she removed her sarashi and held it draped over her forearms.

"Are any of them a different color?" asked Kazumi.

"No."

"Then I'd say that it's very unusual. Almost OCD. Do yourself a favor and don't tell anyone else about them."

"All right, I won't." Setsuna began to wind her sarashi into a small ball.

"Would you mind letting me try it on?" asked Yue as she reached out to Setsuna.

"I would," said Setsuna.

"Eh? Why?"

"Because I sense that you're going to make fun of me."

"Why would I make fun of you? Come on, don't be a spoilsport. I promise not to make fun of you and I'll be objective about how it feels."

"I refuse."

"Fine, be that way... mummy tits."

"Feh. I don't like 'tits'."

"And you're chasing after another girl becauuuuse...?" asked Kazumi.

"I meant that I don't like the _word_ 'tits'," spat Setsuna as she threw her balled up sarashi at Kazumi for safekeeping.

"Then what word do you use?"

"I don't use any word for them. It's not a subject I discuss frequently... but if I have to use a word then I say 'breasts' as that is what they are."

"I'll bet you can handle 'boobs', Sakurazaki." said Kazumi with a smile.

Yue snickered at Kazumi's double meaning while Setsuna rolled her eyes at it.

"I can live with 'boobs'," said Setsuna, "but I prefer to use the word sparingly and only if Konoka-Ojou-sama has brought it up in a conversation first. All the other more 'colorful' terms were invented by rude men to further the childish enjoyment they receive from belittling women and making them feel self-conscious about their bodies."

"More colorful terms – oh, you mean like 'cans', 'jugs' or 'knockers', right?"

"Ugh," muttered Setsuna.

"'Hooters, 'fun bags', 'sweater meat'," said Yue.

"Could we please talk about something else?" asked Setsuna. "Better yet, let's get this photo over with so I can do my homework and go to sleep."

"You heard the girl," said Kazumi. "Let's get the money shot."

Yue stood on a hard case that Kazumi used for storing large camera equipment. At her new height, she could now stand nipple-to-nipple with Setsuna. The swordswoman slowly stepped up to Yue, unaccustomed to seeing her at this level. Kazumi stood behind the tripod and, once she took a look through the camera lens, made some adjustments to the lighting.

"If it makes it any easier for you, you can pretend that I'm Konoka," said Yue.

"That may prove to be difficult since she has larger breasts than you do. I can suspend my disbelief only so far."

"Ooh, _burn!_" laughed Kazumi.

"I'm going to slap you after we take this picture," said Yue.

"Why wait?" asked Setsuna with a playful yet confident smirk. "However, I wouldn't recommend it, Ariadne Dorkmaiden. You couldn't strike a bargain, much less a seasoned warrior of the Shinmeiryu style."

"Ah!" exclaimed Yue with a smirk. "So you couldn't be happy with insulting my chest; you had to go and insult the honor of Ariadne Academy's self defense training program, too." Yue stepped off the case and assumed a fighting stance. "Do you really think a trained Ariadne Warmaiden cadet has no chance of landing a blow on you?"

"If you don't believe me, then you're welcome to try." Setsuna took a step back and assumed no fighting stance at all. "Who am I to stop you from embarrassing yourself?"

"Guys?" cautioned Kazumi. "Another person's room? Expensive camera equipment all around? Maybe not the best place to spar? Just sayin'."

Two seconds of blurred movement occurred and Yue ceased her attack, unable to get past Setsuna's superior blocking skills.

"Ho-ho-_ho! _You're better than I _thought!_" said Setsuna, as her competitive blood raced happily through her veins.

"Um, Setsuna," said Yue as she covered her face with one hand. "Would you care to explain why your nipples are hard? Are you excited by getting physical with me?"

"Eh?"

Setsuna looked down at her breasts, giving Yue the opening she needed to tag her friend with a light quick slap.

"OHHHHHH!" shouted Kazumi with an open mouted smile. "IPPON!"

"Y-You... _tricked_ me!" stated Setsuna in protest of the blow, covering her bare chest with her folded arms and pouting.

"Silly hanyō," said Yue. "Tricks are for kids."

"We _are_ kids; fifteen year old kids."

"Oh. Well, in that case... yeah, I guess I did trick you. It worked, too."

"Hmph! Precisely the sort of tactics I'd expect from someone lacking adequate training... and my... nipples were _not_ hard."

"I don't remember anyone mentioning any rules before the spar. And your nipples may not have been hard but you still looked. If you had told me my socks had turned into mayonnaise, I wouldn't have looked because that sounds pretty unlikely... and yet you checked your nipples as though in all likelihood they _could_ have been erect from sparring with me. And it's not the least bit cold in here. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yes, there is. You're a dork."

"Guys? Can we get on with this photo already?" asked Kazumi. "I love you to death but I'd like to get to sleep, too."

The sound of muffled laughter was heard and the girls knew it to be Sayo, hidden somewhere between this world and the next.

Yue returned to her case and once she was at the proper level, Setsuna's breasts made contact with Yue's and flinched as her nipples brushed against hers. Yue felt the warmth of Setsuna's chest and stomach against her own and she blushed as she remembered the unintentional orgasm she had given Setsuna. The swordswoman kept her eyes shut and blushed as she could feel everything from Yue's breathing to her heart rate. It was a sensation she hoped to share with Konoka someday and yet it wasn't altogether unpleasant to experience it with Yue.

"Hmm," said Kazumi as she deliberated. "You know, I think a rose filter would make this look really nice. Don't move. I'll go get it."

As Kazumi turned around and rummaged through her filter case, Yue felt her heart begin to beat faster and, more disturbingly, an unmistakable sexual arousal. She moaned softly as a wave crashed over her, flooding her mind with every dirty fantasy she had ever concocted – but a dozen times stronger. She looked around the room and everything in it reminded her of sex but none more so than Setsuna. Yue breathed faster and faster as she deduced that a feeling this intense could only mean one thing.

_Oh, no_, thought Yue. _It's the curse! She's feeling lust... and so am I! I'd better take my panties off. What? NO! How does that help? I mean I'd better take Setsuna's jeans off. No... I should... Oh, God... It's no use. I can't fight this! I've never been this horny in my life! I want to cum so badly and Setsuna's closer than Kazumi. I want her... and she's got to want me, too. Konoka... Oh, Emily... I'M SO SORRY!_

Yue's guilt was minimized as both she and Setsuna simultaneously wrapped their arms around one another and began kissing each other passionately.

"Now where did I put that damned thing?" asked Kazumi.

"Yue-chan," whispered Setsuna as she broke the kiss and kissed Yue's throat repeatedly. Yue gasped as the sensation of Setsuna's lips upon her skin was indescribably erotic.

"S...Secchan..." whispered Yue as she trembled under Setsuna's touch. She saw that Setsuna's eyes were glowing, confirming what she already knew and powerless to do anything about. Yue's legs buckled and Setsuna swiftly caught her and laid her on the carpet where she lay on top of Yue and began to suck her rock hard nipples. Yue whimpered with pleasure as her hips writhed in anticipation of Setsuna's kisses travelling lower down her body.

"Ah, found it!" exclaimed Kazumi as she turned around holding the missing filter. "EH? You guys! What the fuck! I can't use this shot for the paper if you're making out **and** naked so cut it out."

_Asakura-san, help me!_ thought Yue as she felt Setsuna pulling the knots open on her panty's side strings.

"What are you doing?" asked Kazumi. "That is, I know _what_ you're doing but, hey, it's pretty rude to do it right in front of me in my own room, y'know?" Neither Setsuna nor Yue paid Kazumi any mind and continued to indulge in their lewd behavior. Setsuna was now kissing Yue's stomach and removing her panties. "TAKE A COLD SHOWER, YOU TWO!" Kazumi pulled Setsuna off of Yue forcefully. Setsuna turned around and flashed her glowing eyes at Kazumi. "Eh?" Without warning, Setsuna grabbed Kazumi's ponytail with her right hand, pulled her head back and ran her tongue up and down her throat before kissing the newly moistened areas.

"_If you wanted me first, Kazumi-chan, you should have said so,_" whispered Setsuna.

Weakened by Setsuna's curse in the same way as Yue was, Kazumi found herself being lowered to the carpet. Setsuna lifted the front of Kazumi's top over her breasts, tugged her bra cups down underneath her breasts and sucked the paparazzi's nipples like a starved infant, alternating between left and right, moaning all the while. Kazumi whimpered and bit her lower lip as she permitted Setsuna to dominate her sexually.

Now free of the curse's range, Yue commanded her rubbery legs to support her long enough to stand upright. She knew that she couldn't engage Setsuna physically or she'd fall prey to the curse's effects once again.

"S-Sagitta Magica Una Lucis!" incanted Yue. The light arrow struck Setsuna in the ribs and sent her flying across the room where she collided against the wall and fell to the floor. Setsuna slowly sat up and began to cry, holding her head in her hands. Here she was, a victim of sexual assault – and she had just sexually assaulted two of her own friends.

"_I'm so sorry_," whimpered Setsuna softly between sobs. "_I'm so sorry_."

"Setsuna..." said Yue as she slowly approached the swordswoman.

"W-What the hell just happened?" asked Kazumi as she sat up. She looked down and tucked her breasts back into her bra and shirt. "Was that a magic spell you put on me? That was not cool, Sakurazaki!"

"It's not her fault, Asakura-san," said Yue. "She can't control it."

"Can't control what?" asked Kazumi.

Yue looked over at Setsuna and saw that she gave her a nod. Yue returned the nod and turned to face Kazumi.

"You're part of Team Konosetsu but you were never in one hundred percent," said Yue. "What I'm about to tell you will bring you in all the way but you must swear secrecy. Setsuna's life depends on it."

* * *

><p>Yue opened the door to her room and left the door open as she entered to allow Setsuna to enter. Setsuna was exhausted emotionally by her most recent attack and as she was in no mood to be left alone, begged Yue not to leave her. Kazumi's dream photo ended up being an amalgam of her original double side boob vision and Yue's wish to wear Setsuna's sarashi. The final picture now showed Setsuna and Yue topless and breast-to-breast but with Setsuna's sarashi wrapping both girls together as they lovingly looked into one another's eyes. Setsuna wore pasties under the sarashi to prevent her sensitive nipples from being stimulated enough to send her into another lust attack. All three girls agreed that while the attack was due to unfortunate circumstances, it gave birth to a splendid photo.<p>

The two friends found Nodoka sitting on the couch reading a book, not bothering to take her eyes off of it to acknowledge their entrance.

"Hey," said Yue.

"Hey," said Nodoka. "Hello, Setsuna-san."

"Hello, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna.

"I see that Haruna's moved out," said Yue nonchalantly.

"Yes, I noticed that, too," said Nodoka flatly.

"So... did sheeeeee happen to tell you why she moved out?"

"Yes, I know everything," said Nodoka. "Haruna told me everything."

"Could you be a little more specific as to what 'everything' means?"

"She told me that she administered oral sex to Setsuna-san without her consent because she thought Setsuna was Konoka."

Yue clapped her hands together and jumped with joy, startling both Nodoka and Setsuna in the process.

"**Yes! Woo hoo!" **cheered Yue. "Setsuna, this is the break we've been waiting for!"

"Oh, uh, is it?" asked Setsuna.

"It is! Nodoka can report Haruna to the headmaster and you won't have to commit seppuku because she didn't hear about it from either one of us! You wouldn't have broken your word."

"Oh," said Setsuna, puzzled that this situation was going to be resolved as quickly as this.

"There won't be enough evidence to convict her but there's no way that she won't be expelled for it. Then you can hook up with Konoka again and all will be as it should be." Yue plopped into the couch beside Nodoka and rested her arm over her shoulder. "Oh, Nodoka, I have had a DAY but _this_ is the best thing that could have happened to us. Ohhhhh, I am so glad to have you on my side."

Nodoka's heart beat a bit faster as she prepared herself mentally for what she was going to say next.

"I didn't say that I was on _your_ side, Yue," said Nodoka. Yue removed her arm from Nodoka's shoulder, stood up and walked back to where Setsuna was standing.

"You... are on **Haruna's side?**" asked Yue.

"I didn't say that I was on _her_ side, either," said Nodoka. "In the interest of protecting our continued friendship, I've decided that I'm not taking anyone's side and please don't quote Elie Wiesel. I've heard it before."

"You **can't** be impartial about **this!** There's no middle ground here!"

"There is if I'm standing on it," said Nodoka firmly. "And I am... so there is."

"That's impossible! _No_ girl can be impartial about sexual assault! How can you be indifferent about Setsuna's plight?"

"Setsuna-san, do you respect me?"

"Don't ignore the qu-" said Yue who silenced herself abruptly as Nodoka held out her hand.

"Of course I do, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna.

"Thank you," said Nodoka with a gentle smile. "I respect you as well. How involved would you say that I am in what's happened to you?"

"Well, you've done me no harm... and although you're a friend of Saotome's, so is Yue... and _she's_ done me no harm. If you're sincere about not taking Saotome's side, I'd sayyyyy... that you're... not involved in this at all."

"Does that insult you?"

"N-No, why would it?"

"Then would you take it as an insult if I continued to remain uninvolved by staying out of this?"

"N-No, I don't suppose I would."

Yue flinched at Setsuna's words. How could she buy into this lame copout?

"Setsuna, don't accept that!" said Yue. "If Nodoka doesn't report Haruna, we're right back where we started! Is that what you want?"

"She has a point, Yue," said Setsuna. "This isn't her battle. It's her choice to make if she wants to fight for me, not ours. I only have a grievance with one person... and it isn't Nodoka-san." Yue returned her attention to Nodoka.

"Look," said Yue with a sheepish smile and a face reddened from blushing, "if this is about that prank I pulled on you-"

"It's not," interrupted Nodoka. "I swear to you that it's not. Yeah, that was one really messed up penance but it was my choice to go along with it and I'm over it now. I bought your forgiveness with my embarrassment and we're friends again. And it's with the friendship that I value in mind – with both you _and_ Haruna – that I've decided to exclude myself from this."

"Did Haruna coerce you into doing this? Has she threatened you?"

"Don't be silly. Do I look like I have a gun to my head? And like I said, she _preferred_ that I not take anyone's side. If she could force me to do something, why wouldn't she make me take _her_ side? And if she had me take her side under duress, why would I hesitate to ask for your help now that she's not here and take _your_ side? Haruna made it clear that she would prefer that I not support anyone's side as that would then involve me and neither she nor I want that. After thinking it over, I agreed with her and that is **exactly** what I'm **choosing** to **do**. I love you both and helping one of you would mean hurting the other. She doesn't want **you** to hate **me** because of how you feel about **her**. And if you're even half as noble and righteous as you claim to be, you'd respect my neutrality and follow her example."

"I'm not... going to... _hate_ you, exactly... but I am extremely aggravated and even more disappointed that you're letting your friendship stand in the way of justice. You weren't there when I confronted her! Haruna hurt Setsuna with the assault! Haruna hurt both Setsuna and me with vicious insults! Maybe if she was hurt by someone she respected – like you – and saw _both_ of us standing against her, she'd repent and make amends!"

"She _is_ repentant! And she does still respect you... and trust me, she's already hurting... and there doesn't appear to be any relief in sight."

"As if **her** pain means anything! As if being repentant to **you** gives Setsuna the closure she deserves. And if Haruna still respects me, she sure has a funny way of showing it."

"And if you still love Haruna, you have a funny way of showing it. Haruna's pain may not mean anything to you anymore but it still means something to me. Maybe if your willingness to listen to her or talk with her was greater than your willingness to embarrass and persecute her, she might have come around."

Yue folded her arms, took a deep breath and exhaled with a huff. She felt that there was a grain of truth in what Nodoka said. What Nodoka didn't know was that Setsuna was prone to a ka-a'kuruhk emotional outburst and that if Yue hadn't intervened, it might have caused any number of problems. Yue was not at liberty to disclose Setsuna's curse to Nodoka and so she had no choice but to bite the bullet.

"I... had my reasons for showing her up in class," said Yue. "And there's nothing Haruna has to say to me that I want to hear. Nodoka, she's only showing you the side of herself she wants you to see. I _know_ that she knows that she did the wrong thing... but I also know that she knows that you wouldn't sell her out by reporting her to the headmaster. Don't you see? She's being selective about who hears this confession and she **doesn't repent her crime enough to confess to someone who has the authority to punish her through the proper channels.** Back me up on this, Setsuna."

"Um... it does seem rather suspicious that she's chosen to confess to you of all people, Nodoka-san."

Yue had hoped for a more aggressive counterpoint from Setsuna than that.

"Don't you care that a friend of yours is up to no good?" asked Yue of Nodoka.

"I do," answered Nodoka. "But what if that friend up to no good is you?"

"PFAH!" Yue scoffed at the very idea. "Oh, _this_ should be good. What, pray tell, did _I_ do?"

"You threatened her... and you physically assaulted her."

"Physically assaulted her? HA! I slapped her ONCE!" said Yue with a smile and a chuckle at how ludicrous this accusation was. "Combined, we've all probably hit each other as many times as Kū Fei and Kaede do during an hour's worth of training. You slapped me once and I didn't crumble up and die."

"The last time I slapped you was out of concern. Haruna told me that your slap was full of anger. She came to me an absolute wreck. She was in tears as she confessed everything to me. She bared her soul to me. I've never seen anyone cry as much as she did. She's terrified of getting kicked out of school. Do I condone what she's done? Absolutely not. Do I think Setsuna-san should forgive her and that everyone should forget the whole thing happened? Absolutely not. But what was I supposed to do? Drag her by the hair into the headmaster's office? She's my best friend! She's **our** best friend, Yue, and she's in trouble. And at the time when she most needed to reach out to a friend and ask for help... when her other friend who loves her like a sister slapped her in the face out of anger... she **sacrificed** her right to ask for that help by asking me not to help her; all so that I wouldn't be inconvenienced and be subjected to your rage as she was. How could I deny her that one request? I can't deny that it benefits me as well but..." Nodoka turned to face Setsuna. "Setsuna-san, I can't begin to imagine how badly you're hurting inside and I can't begin to tell you how truly sorry I am that this happened to you... but I..." Nodoka rose from the couch and knelt at Setsuna's feet. "... am _begging_ you... to put yourself in my shoes for just a moment as I ask you this next question. Please. If it had been Konoka who did to Haruna what Haruna did to you and Konoka came to you with this confession, where would your immediate loyalties lie? With the law? Or with your friend? Choosing between doing what you know in your head is right and what you know in your heart is right is a difficult decision to make but you'd _have_ to choose one or the other once you're involved, right? **But**... what if she gave you the gift of sparing you from having to make any decision at all? What would _you_ do?"

Like most decent people, Setsuna had a compassionate side and she took pity on Nodoka.

"I..." said Setsuna.

"I'd ask Haruna if she saved the receipt if _I_ was the one given the gift of cowardice," said Yue.

"**Yue! That's enough!**" spat Setsuna as she turned to face Yue. "Your best friend is humbling herself before me and you'd take that opportunity to kick her while she's down? That's low!"

"Not as low as emotional blackmail," said Yue, "which is exactly what these theatrics Nodoka's using are really called!"

"I've already inconvenienced you by causing you to turn on two of your friends," said Setsuna. "I refuse to allow my problems to cost you a _third_ friendship. Nodoka has convinced me that her help is not required and since this **is** essentially **my** war you're commandeering, I'm classifying her as a civilian; not a soldier, not an enemy... a _civilian_. Now, I believe that you owe her an apology."

Yue was taken aback by Setsuna's admonishment and decided to relent.

"I'm sorry." said Yue. "That was out of line... but you _still_ know what you know, Nodoka... and whether you want to keep your hands clean or get them dirty, you still have a **responsibility to do the right thing and report what you know.** I can't talk to the headmaster about what I know without costing Setsuna her honor and her life. My hands are tied... but yours aren't. The information came to you by way of Haruna so _you_ have the power to report this without dishonoring Setsuna! That's something that _I_ don't have!"

"And it's also something I won't use."

"Her personal confession might be contrition enough in your eyes but tell me how you being a conscientious objector helps Setsuna get the justice she deserves."

"I admit that it doesn't... but with Setsuna's declaration, I don't have to become involved if I don't choose to. I only have to refrain from becoming involved on Haruna's behalf."

"So that's the extent of your heart? Apathy and a promise to do nothing? You might as well have sided with Haruna if that's the best you can do."

"Say what you like about Haruna but at least she didn't badger me into picking her side over yours."

"Because she knows that _mine_ is the _right_ side... and so should you!"

"So if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem? Upbraiding and browbeating me into taking up arms against one of my friends isn't doing yourself any favors, Yue. It neither strengthens your position nor endears me to your side."

Yue looked up at the ceiling and shook her head with a groan.

"I don't believe this is happening."

"Then it's a good thing that your belief isn't required for me to make up my mind. I love you both. I won't be coerced into hating either of you."

"You're supporting us both by supporting neither of us. I expected better from one of the smartest girls in class."

"It is what it is. Now are you going to respect my decision the way Haruna was able to do or should I borrow a page from your playbook and make **you** move out of this room?"

Yue's eyes went blank and as, her heart skipped a beat, she wondered if this was how Haruna felt when she gave her a verbal eviction notice.

"You'd... kick **me** out?" asked Yue. Her brow wrinkled and she bared her teeth. "**You'd kick **_**ME**_** OUT?" **Yue reached under the far left end of the coffee table with both hands and flipped it in anger, sending the various items upon it crashing to the floor. Nodoka remained resolute despite the childish yet destructive act. "_**I'm**__ not the one who committed a crime! Nor am I the one responsible for making the victim promise not to report that crime! _" Yue began to repeatedly slap herself in the forehead a few times as she continued her rant. "My subconscious mind **denied me access to my own memories** until I stood on equal ground with you in our rivalry for Negi-sensei! _Think_ about that for a minute! If **that** example doesn't show you what justice and fairness mean to me, then nothing will! And yet **you'd** eject a person of **my** caliber? For fighting for what I believe is right? Compared to Haruna, I'm a paragon of virtue! Now, I'm not saying that I deserve a _medal_ for that but I would _think_ that my honor would at least entitle me to a place to live!"

"Do you think I don't know how virtuous you are? It's one of the things I respect about you the most... but unless you can accept my neutral position the way Haruna was able to do – _without complaint_, I might add – I'm not so sure that this room **is** your entitled place to live."

Yue pressed her lips together into an X that almost took up her entire face. She sighed and smiled as she reached a decision.

"You know what? You're right." Yue walked over to the kitchen, retrieved some trash bags from a drawer and opened one by holding one edge and thrusting it downward to expand it with air. Nodoka and Setsuna looked at one another in befuddlement.

"What are you doing?" asked Nodoka.

"I'm doing what anyone who doesn't feel welcome somewhere would do," said Yue in a louder tone as she walked to the bathroom. "I'm packing."

"Yue, I beg of you;" said Setsuna, "please don't go to such extremes over me. Nodoka-san, I accept your neutrality. Please forgive Yue."

"With all due respect, Setsuna," said Yue as she walked back into the living room, "this isn't about what you've accepted. It's about my unwillingness to compromise my values... and sharing a room with someone who'd take the easy way out would go against everything I stand for. It's why I kicked Haruna out and, consequently, it's why I'm leaving this place. Setsuna, can you put me up for a night or two until I find lodging elsewhere?" Setsuna folded her arms, closed her eyes and sighed.

"If I said no, would you reconsider moving out?" said Setsuna.

Yue didn't offer a verbal reply. She didn't have to. The stubborn look in her eyes was answer enough. Setsuna sighed again.

"All right," said Setsuna. "I'll call Mana to let her know you'll be staying the night."

"No need," said Yue. "I'll do it." Yue took out her cell phone and called Mana. "Do you have ingredients for making sandwiches at your place? I'm hungry but I don't want anything heavy."

"Sandwiches?" asked Setsuna. "Uhhh...Yes, we have bread – along with ham and cheese. Oh, and eggs, too, if you want to bother cooking them."

"Sounds yummy." Yue held the phone to her ear and held a finger out to Setsuna to excuse herself while she called Mana. Setsuna and Nodoka took this moment of silence to look at each other once more to share their concern. Taking a deep breath, Yue spoke into her phone non-stop when Mana answered.

"Tatsumiya-I'm-sleeping-over-again-tonight-you-sho uld-know-that-I-call-a-certain-person-once-every-t wenty-four-hours-and-if-I-miss-just-one-call-then- this-person-is-instructed-to-mail-to-a-Toshiro-san -in-Yokohama-an-envelope-containing-conclusive-evi dence-supporting-the-claim-that-you're-only-fiftee n-years-old-my-phone-records-are-magically-self-en crypting-so-don't-bother-trying-to-hack-them-you-s hould-also-know-that-if-I'm-weak-from-hunger-I-may -forget-to-make-my-daily-call-so-have-some-tea-and -some-ham-egg-and-cheese-sandwiches-ready-for-Sets una-and-me-in-about-fifteen-minutes-good-**bye**..." Taking a much needed deep breath, Yue took the phone away from her ear and was about to terminate the call but she quickly returned the phone to her ear for one last word. "...bitch." With that, Yue terminated the call by pressing the end button on her phone.

* * *

><p>Since her room was soundproofed against human ears, Mana took a moment to express her displeasure verbally.<p>

"**FFFFUUUU**_**U**_**UUUUUUU**_**U**_**UUUUUUUU**_**U**_-"

Once she had sufficiently lamented her servitude, Mana flung open the refrigerator door to get some eggs, cooking oil and sandwich fixings.

* * *

><p>Sheets of tears poured outward from Setsuna's large circular eyes and her mouth hung open from hearing her roommate being told to do Yue's bidding.<p>

"_I'm_ sorry," said Nodoka as she folded her arms and crossed her legs, "you were saying something about being a – let me see... how did you put it? A '_paragon of virtue'?_" Nodoka seasoned her question with an extra dash of sarcastic inflection.

"Don't _**e**__ven_ start," said Yue. "This has _nothing_ to do with our previous discussion. I'm just trying to teach Mana a lesson."

"_If it's how to find a reason to shoot a roommate, I'd say that your teaching skills are excellent!_" cried Setsuna as V-tears spouted from her eyes. "_**You**__ don't have to share a room with her, Yue... but __**I**__ do!_"

"It'll be fine," said Yue as she continued to pack.

"Where will you go?" asked Nodoka.

"If you borrowed a page from my playbook to kick me out, borrow the next one that shows the kicker-outer how not to give a crap where the kickee winds up."

"I won't try to talk you out of leaving if that's what you feel that you have to do – _I_ can respect _your_ decision – but you don't have to leave right this second."

"Yes, I **do** have to leave right this second!" said Yue as she stopped packing for a moment. "This has become a matter of principle! I feel just as strongly about taking a stand against injustice no matter _who_ the perpetrator might be as _you_ feel about not taking any kind of stand at all. I'll bring Haruna to justice _without_ your help." Yue resumed her packing but stopped as she looked around the room for something.

"Just remember that not everything in the sea is your white whale, Captain Ahab," said Nodoka, "so watch where you throw your harpoon. What are you looking for?"

Yue pouted and blushed, loath to ask for Nodoka's help.

"My tempur-pillow," muttered Yue. Setsuna resisted a smirk as Yue looked particularly cute wanting her cherished item of comfort.

"I haven't seen it," said Nodoka.

"THAT THIEF HARUNA STOLE MY TEMPUR-PILLOW!" yelled Yue.

"Calm down, Yue!" said Nodoka. "Are you sure you took it with you when we left Asuna's Saturday night?"

Yue took out her cell phone and texted Asuna. There was a strong possibility that Nodoka was right. There was an uncomfortable silence as the girls waited for Yue's phone to sound out. An eternity later, Yue's phone chimed when it received a reply to her text which she quickly read.

"I left it at Asuna's," said a red-faced Yue. "I've got most of my stuff. I'll be back for the heavy stuff tomorrow after school." With that, Yue and Setsuna headed for the door.

"I'm sad to see you go, Yue," said Nodoka.

"That makes two of us."

"I'm sorry that you can't accept my stance."

"That makes one of us."

"I love you."

Yue was about to close the door and as she ushered Setsuna through the door, she hesitated to reply in kind.

"G-Good to know," said Yue.

"Don't you love-" said Nodoka before the door slammed shut behind them. "-me?" finished Nodoka.

_How rude!_ thought Nodoka. She rose from the couch, ran to the door and opened it, finding that Yue and Setsuna were still standing outside in the corridor.

"You know, I _might_ not be taking anyone's side in this," said Nodoka, "but I do agree with Haruna on one thing: you do have a completely different personality now. Good night, Setsuna-san."

"Good night, Nodoka-san," said Setsuna.

Nodoka closed the door and locked it.

"That... damned... Haruna," said Yue as she fumed. "She knew."

"What did she know?" asked Setsuna.

"She KNEW!" repeated Yue as she tugged her braids in frustration. "CURSE ME FOR A FOOL, SHE **KNEW!**"

"Yue, please lower your voice," urged Setsuna. "What are you going on about?"

"Haruna _knew_ that she couldn't recruit Nodoka to _her_ side so instead, she sabotaged my chance to recruit Nodoka to **my** side! She _knew_ that this impartiality idea would both appeal to Nodoka and infuriate me! She _knew_ that it would pit Nodoka and me against each other and we'd have a fight that would practically _guarantee_ that my side left a bad taste in her mouth! She's virtually achieved the same result as if she asked Nodoka to side with her in the first place! She played Nodoka _and_ me! She masterminded this whole fucking argument and I FUCKING FELL FOR IT!" Yue stomped her foot as she yelled out loud. "AAAAAAUGH! I SWEAR THAT I'M GOING TO KICK HER ASS FOR THIS!"

"Don't say such things!" said Setsuna. Yue did a double take and was confused by Setsuna's request.

"_You_ don't want _me_ to kick _Haruna's_ ass?" asked Yue.

"Of course I do!" said Setsuna. "I left my Ennomos Aetosphragis back in my room! Don't speak such oaths aloud when I can't bind you to your word magically. You... oathtease, you."

"Do you need a time out, Yue?" asked Nodoka who had reopened the door and stuck her head out from behind it.

"Don't patronize me, Nodoka," demanded Yue. "I've already got _one_ ex-friend I can go to for that."

"I'm still your friend, Yue. And so is Haruna. I look forward to the day when you can believe that again. "

"She'd better not move back in here after I'm gone or I'll consider that giving comfort to the enemy."

"I promise that I won't allow Haruna to move back here until this mess has been resolved."

"Pfeh! That's rich. By the time it resolves the way it should, she won't be a student here any more. Until then, have fun with what you're passing off as your conscience."

"I have a perfectly operational conscience. How else would I be able to forgive you once you realize what an ass train you're being to me?"

"Well, if you can let a- did you just call me an 'ass train'?"

"Yes."

"What in the world is an 'ass train'? Never mind. If you can let a monster like Haruna slide, I don't see how letting a decent human being slide could be that much harder."

"'_Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.'" _With that, Nodoka shut and locked the door.

"_Nietzsche?_" asked Yue as she briskly returned to the door of her former residence. "_Oh-ho-ho_, **tell** me you did **not** just get the last word by throwing a **Nietzsche** quote in _my _face, woman!"

"Yue," said Setsuna to get Yue's attention – which she failed to do.

Yue slid her key into the lock and tried to open the door, only to discover that Nodoka had double-locked it.

"Hey!" shouted Yue. "Hey, Nodoka! Open this door! We've got some unfinished business." Yue knocked on the door aggressively. "I've got a few select Buddha quotes for you that'll knock your _freaking socks off!_" Yue kept her eyes fixed on the door as she pounded on it."

"Yue," said Setsuna again.

"Yeah?" asked Yue. She saw Setsuna had her eyes closed and was nonchalantly gesturing at something behind her.

Yue looked over her shoulder and saw over a dozen dorm residents in their sleepwear either standing out in the hall watching her or peering out from behind their open doors. Yue couldn't stand it when people couldn't mind their own business. Having used most of her energy arguing with Nodoka, Yue lacked the strength to reprimand her nosy neighbors properly.

Lifting her dress with both hands and pinning it against her waist to keep her sidestring panty-clad bottom visible to the onlookers, Yue bent forward and swayed her hips from side to side rhythmically as she began to sing.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / and they're like - 'it's better than yours' / damn right – it's better than yours / I can teach you – but I have to charge / my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard / and they're like - 'it's better than yours' / damn right – it's better than yours / I can teach you – but I have to charge."_

One by one, the blushing onlookers returned to their rooms. Having lost interest in the commotion, they closed their doors behind them and went back to bed. Yue stood up straight and ran her hands against her skirt to undo any wrinkles she had put in it. She turned around to discover that all but one of the girls had returned to their rooms. Yue had never spoken to this girl before and had only seen her once or twice – and only when she was either exiting or entering her room. She was full Japanese, of average build, slightly taller than Setsuna and about sixteen years of age with brown eyes and wavy shoulder length dyed auburn hair worn in pigtails. The girl fidgeted nervously with the spaghetti strap of her pink chiffon baby doll nightgown which was slightly racy sleepwear for a girl her age and her wide smile suggested that she was deliriously happy, clinically insane or both.

"**Trust** me," said the girl softly with a slight tremble in her voice, "**your** milkshake **doesn't** just bring the _**boys**_." Blushing to where her entire face was red, the girl slowly lifted the front of her nightgown to show Yue her pink underwear which, in addition to being sheer peek-a-boo lace bikini style panties, had silk side strings.

"EEEEEE!" screamed Yue as she picked up her bags and ran to the stairwell as quickly as her legs could carry her. The scream startled Setsuna and, when Yue ran, she followed her with equal haste.

Yue did not stop running until she reached the door to Setsuna's room. She sat to the right of the door while Setsuna sat to the left of the door. Both girls struggled to catch their breath and as they looked at each other they burst out laughing.

* * *

><p>"You want a baby," said Evangeline.<p>

"Yes, Master," said Chachamaru.

"That would cause quite the headache for me. The headmaster frowns on the abduction of children."

"I do not wish to _abduct_ a human baby," said Chachamaru. "Nor do I wish to adopt a human baby. I would easily outlive it and they say that there is no greater pain than losing a child. Besides, there is no reputable adoption agency in the world that would entrust a child to a robot's care, no matter how advanced its AI."

"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Evangeline. "The whole parenthood thing is overrated. Babies are noisy, leaky, and there's no end to the responsibilities to look after one. You're much better off not even having the internal organs associated with reproduction. Why would you want a baby anyway? Aren't you content with being Mahora's resident crazy cat lady?"

"That is an offensive term, Master. We prefer the term 'eccentric multiple feline enthusiast'. And while I still care for my cats, I see now that they are substitutes for my true desire."

Evangeline folded her arms and gave the matter some thought.

"Well, Hakase is a robotics genius. If she could create you, she could definitely create a child."

"You misunderstand me, Master. I do not simply wish to be provided with another robot to look after. I want the complete motherhood experience."

"You mean...?" Evangeline gestured with her hands to signify a swollen belly.

"Yes," said Chachamaru.

"Argh. You don't ask for much so I'm hesitant to dismiss your request. All right, since I've recently made a high ticket purchase, here's what we'll do. We'll undergo a low budget trial run. If you still feel the same way after we've completed it, I'll have Hakase design a body modification for you capable of allowing you to deliver a robo-baby."

"Thank you, Master."

"Although I want to go on record as saying that I think the whole thing's a bit silly."

"So noted. If I may ask, Master... just how low of a baby simulation budget did you have in mind?"

Evangeline smiled as she turned her head to look at something to her left. Chachamaru turned her head to see what had caught her master's attention.

Chachazero, Evangeline's lifelong psychopathic puppet partner, was taking a break from sharpening her favorite knife by taking a swig from an airplane sized bottle of tequila. She took notice of Evangeline's stare and a wave of nostalgia took over Chachazero's mind. She recognized this look, having seen it many times in centuries past. It warmed her heart, for it always resulted in unspeakable torment for its recipient and her master would sometimes let Chachazero play in the victim's entrails.

For some unknown reason, Chachazero was now its recipient and she knew that a quick end was preferrable to whatever Evangeline had in mind.

"I only regret not stabbing a hell of a lot more people a hell of a lot more times," said Chachazero as a tear ran down her face. She quickly emptied the tequila bottle over her head and then ran at top speed toward the fireplace where she would meet a kinder fate than the one Evangeline had in store for her. Unfortunately for Chachazero, Evangeline was much faster than she was and she slammed the fireplace grating shut before Chachazero could leap into the flames. Chachazero smacked into the grating and bounced off of it unsinged. Evangeline lifted the puppet by the back of her neck and gave her a sinister smile. Chachazero smiled back nervously but then quickly burst into tears, covering her face with her tiny hands as she cried uncontrollably.

"That's the spirit, Chachazero," said Evangeline. "But don't use up all of your tears just yet. We're going to need them for authenticity... baby."

Chachazero cried even louder the second time around.


	17. The Lying Game

Konoka turned the knob to lock the door to her room as quietly as she had unlocked it from the outside. The room was dark and the unique snore of an ermine elf which came from Negi's loft confirmed that Asuna, Negi and Chamo were now fast asleep in their beds. With Asuna asleep, Konoka would now have to wake the ponytailed girl to talk to her about Haruna staying the night – an act that was unlikely to improve the odds that the idea would go over well. Negi was so wonderfully accommodating that Konoka didn't even have to bother asking him. She could have asked to borrow his eyeballs and the boy genius would have asked how soon she needed them and what kind of container he could provide for her.

Konoka carefully turned around and removed her shoes as she fished out her cell phone, activating the phone's screen to illuminate the path to her bed. Once she confirmed that it was free of obstructions, she approached the bed and then stood still when the room became illuminated from the lamp on the coffee table being switched on. Asuna, who was wide awake on the couch, leaned back in her seat after turning on the lamp. Konoka felt Asuna's eyes pierce her soul and recognized what this was.

_It's... "The Look"!_ thought Konoka.

Already familiar with the inner workings of "The Look", Konoka had prepared herself for the day when she'd have to endure it from Asuna. It wouldn't be easy but she could beat "The Look" if she remained focused.

"H-Hi, Asuna," said Konoka softly, her forehead already sprouting beads of sweat. "Y-You're still up. G-Good. I was going to wake you but now I don't have to." Konoka smiled as she fidgeted nervously. "C-Could I have today's homework assignments?"

"Never mind that," said Asuna, matching Konoka's volume if not its tone. "Something screwy is going on around here and you said that you'd talk to me about it later. This **is** later... and I want answers. I tried asking Yue-chan and Setsuna about it but they ran off before I had a chance to talk to them and since neither of them replied to my texts, I've gone from curious to concerned. I know that I can be a bit nosy when it comes to my classmates but when those classmates are my best friends, I have a right to be concerned about them. And you're usually extremely easygoing so the way you've been acting lately tells me that it's something pretty earth-shattering. You're like a sister to me and I want to help you in any way that I can. Do you remember when I was down in the dumps after being shot down by Takahata-sensei and you were there for me?"

Konoka nodded with a mild grin.

"So do I," said Asuna with a smile. "I was in no condition to appreciate what you did at the time but it really meant a lot to me. And remember when the radiation from that freaky comet pushed the date up for me to be sealed in the Gravekeeper's Palace way ahead of schedule and you kept me from freaking out?"

Konoka's grin faded as she sucked her lips inward and bit them gently, dwelling on Asuna's recollection of the events regarding her premature sealing. Asuna tapped her index fingers together and cast her eyes downward, looking forlorn.

"It... It may go without saying," said Asuna, "but I think about Luna-chan all the time. I'm enjoying my life in Mahora right now because of her sacrifice and now that I'll be growing old with all of you at the rate of a normal human, it's highly unlikely that I'll live long enough to repay her for it in person. She and I barely knew each other... yet she volunteered to be sealed in the Gravekeeper's Palace in my place. When she and Princess Theodora told me that my extended lifespan and magic cancellation power could be transferred to Luna-chan, I didn't think it was possible. Lucky for me that it was... and luckier still that Luna-chan's artifact could turn her into a perfect copy of me, complete with the transfer, otherwise it wouldn't have satisfied the spell. Heh. Luna-chan. What an amazing person she was. To think that someone would willingly give up the life they knew only to wake up in a world where everyone they knew is gone... all for someone like me... well, I... I guess I just don't feel worthy of it, y'know? But I want to be worthy of it someday so I've been doing some thinking. Once I graduate and restore my old kingdom to its former glory... God, it feels so weird to say that! Once I do that, I'm going to do something special to commemorate Luna-chan's courageous sacrifice so that when she wakes up a hundred years later, she won't have regretted her decision."

Konoka fidgeted with the hem of her skirt as she remembered what Haruna had said earlier about this whole Asuna thing blowing up in their faces and, as the person closest to Asuna, Konoka would have to talk to someone about Asuna's plan.

"At first," continued Asuna, "I thought I'd have an enormous statue erected in her honor for her to see when she wakes up... but that seemed kind of tame. So what I'll do is arrange this huuuuuuge Welcome Back party and..." Asuna looked up at Konoka and blushed as she had forgotten the reason she was having a talk with Konoka in the first place. "_Ah!_ Listen to me go on like a baka." Closing her eyes, Asuna smiled and rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry, I got a little sidetracked there. Anyway, now that _your_ life is in turmoil... and it _is_ in turmoil, isn't it?" Konoka opened her eyes widely and gave a slow and exaggerated nod to suggest that turmoil was an understatement. "I knew it. Now that your life is in turmoil and I have a chance to return the favor, you haven't come to me first and I honestly don't know what to make of it. I've gone from being concerned to thinking that I should feel hurt."

"I didn't mean to make you worry and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," said Konoka. "It's just that things didn't exactly go the way I had hoped and I needed my situation to be a little more stable than it was before I came to you with this."

"Is it stable now?" asked Asuna.

"Not by a long shot," said Konoka as she shook her head, "but it's as stable as it's going to be for now."

"Then... please..." Asuna patted the spot to the right with her right hand, beckoning Konoka to sit. "Talk to me about what's going on." Asuna gave Konoka a pleasant grin with the hope that it would enhance her invitation.

"Couldn't we talk about this outside?" asked Konoka as she glanced briefly at Negi's loft. "I don't think I'd want Negi-kun and Chamo-kun to overhear."

Asuna looked up at the loft and heard Chamo's steady snore.

"Ah, those two are dead to the world with sleep. If we keep talking at this volume, we should be fine."

"O-Okay." A gentle smile formed slowly on Konoka's face as she ran her hands behind her skirt, took a seat and prepared to drop the news on Asuna. "On Saturday night, when I went to visit Haruna and ask for her forgiveness so that we could be friends again, things went better than expected; a lot better. She and I slept together."

Asuna's eyes went blank at this admission and her face quickly took on a reddish tone.

"Dwah?" she asked as her mouth hung open slightly.

"_Sweet! D'oh!_" yelped Chamo from Negi's loft. Both girls looked up at the loft and saw that Chamo was indeed awake. He was covering the big mouth that gave him away with one paw and holding his nostrils shut to stop his nosebleed with the other paw.

Asuna looked at Konoka through half closed eyes, one of which had taken to twitching.

"Would you excuse me for a minute?" asked Asuna with a sweat drop and an agitated grin as she quickly rose from the couch. Konoka nodded as she buried her face in her right hand with a facepalm that did nothing to alleviate the embarrassment she now felt.

* * *

><p>The door to Asuna's and Konoka's room opened.<p>

"Asuna-san?" asked a groggy Negi. "What are you... **EEEEP!**"

The boy wizard and his ermine familiar were unceremoniously tossed out the door and into the hallway. Chamo was flung a little more forcefully and might have flown over the railing to the ground floor if his tail hadn't wrapped around the bannister. Negi sat upright and faced his roommate.

"You two are not spending the night here," said Asuna sternly.

"Eh? But why?" asked Negi.

"You're a little boy, that's why."

"_I'b_ dot a liddle boy," said Chamo with a creepy grin and tiny tissues wadded up his nostrils. "Bay _I_ stay?"

"You may not!" barked Asuna. "Go find someplace else to sleep; both of you. That's an order."

"This isn't funny, Asuna-san. I have a class to teach tomorrow morning."

"Well, _I_ have to deliver papers in less than eight hours but you don't hear _me_ complaining, do you?"

"_You're not the one getting kicked out of the room where you sleep! What is there for __**you**__ to complain about?_"

"The two dead bodies stinking up the room."

"_What_ dead bodies? There aren't any dead bodies in our roo-" Negi stopped himself as he grasped Asuna's violent meaning by peering into the green and blue pools of bad intentions which were focused on him. "All right, Asuna-san. I'll leave... but where will I go?"

"As long as it's away from here, I don't care where you go. Why don't you ask Iincho? I'm sure she'd love to put you up for the night. Now make yourselves scarce!" Asuna looked at Chamo with the fury of a thousand hells in her eyes and pointed at him. "And **you!** If you even _think_ about telling him what you heard, I'll stomp you so flat that I can use you for origami!"

Having delivered her warning, Asuna slammed the door shut and left Negi to scratch his head in confusion. Grinning, Negi shrugged and got to his feet.

"I'm still in awe of how well that artifact of hers works," asked Negi.

"It sure has _me_ convinced, Aniki," said Chamo. "That one might need to see a shrink even more than Kū Fei does."

* * *

><p>Asuna locked the door, covered her mouth with her fist as she cleared her throat and then returned to Konoka.<p>

"Ahem... now... where was I?" asked Asuna. "Oh, yeah." Asuna slid her right hand into her pajama top's pocket and extracted her pactio card. "ADEAT!" Asuna summoned her harisen, grabbed it firmly with both hands, lifted it over her head and brought it down fiercely over Konoka's head, resulting in a thunderous thwack sound.

"KYAAA!" cried Konoka as she held her X-bandaged head while scrunching her eyes shut into a pair of greater than/less than symbols. The attack wasn't as painful to Konoka as it was shocking and her mouth hung open as her small circular eyes looked up at her fuming and intimidating friend.

"_Baka! Are you on drugs?_" asked Asuna, sporting a bulging blood vessel on her forehead. "News flash: you love _**Setsuna**_! And **she** loves _**you!**_ How could you do something as stupid as sleeping with that walking yaoi factory without taking Setsuna's feelings into consideration?"

"You... _hit_ me!" exclaimed Konoka. "You've _never_ hit me before!"

"You've never _deserved_ it before," explained Asuna, "but you sure as hell deserve it **now!** **AUUUUUUGH!"** Asuna buried her face into her free left hand while resting her right hand on the pommel of her harisen, supporting herself on it like a cane. "I blame myself for this. I saw something like this coming, you know. I didn't get on Setsuna's case enough to confess her feelings to you and this is a direct result of my inaction. Damn it! No _wonder_ Setsuna dumped you to be with Yue-chan!"

"Okay, I have to stop you right there, Asuna," said Konoka, holding out her index finger as her X bandage spun off her head and flew away. "You can't dump someone if you're not a couple. Secchan and I may be partners but we were **not** a couple when Haruna and I made love. I was single."

"Yeah, and I've got **two** blue eyes," said Asuna sarcastically. "So Setsuna didn't give you a promise ring. Big deal! Did you **need** one to know that she's crazy in love with you? Screwing Paru betrayed the feelings that you **knew** Setsuna had for you! I'm no expert on matters of shojo-ai but I ask you again: how could her feelings not have been enough to make you think twice before getting involved with someone else?"

Konoka walked to the window and opened the curtains. She gazed at the tranquil moon as she spoke to Asuna.

"I'll answer your question with a question," said Konoka. "If Secchan is so crazy in love with me, then why did she abandon me when we were little to train at the Shinmei school when I told her that she didn't have to go?"

"Uhhh..."

"For the first time in my life," continued Konoka, "I knew what it was like to have a friend but because I was a little careless **once** and fell in the water, Secchan punishes me by leaving me alone all over again."

"She wanted to learn the skills that she lacked."

"If she wanted to learn the skills she lacked that would have helped her in that situation, all she had to do was take some swimming lessons at a local pool or something. She loved me so much that she had to leave me? Who does that?"

"Look at it this way; if she hadn't done all that training, she wouldn't have been as skilled as she was when she saved all of our asses at one time or another. It all worked out for the best."

"Hindsight is 20/20."

"Konokaaa..."

"And if Secchan is so crazy in love with me, why haven't I shown you any of the love letters she's written me?"

"Oh... has she written you any?"

"No."

"Erk," said Asuna as she flinched.

"And why haven't you heard me tell you about how she and I kissed for an entire hour? Or how when she hugs me, she whispers into my ear that she never wants to let me go? Or how she spent all morning making the perfect bento box lunch for the two of us to eat in a park by a stream? Or how she sang me to sleep with a gentle-"

Asuna quickly turned her head and snorted from stifling a laugh, covering her mouth with her left hand. Konoka caught the laugh and stopped talking for a moment.

"What's so funny?" asked Konoka.

"I just remembered something funny that I hadn't thought about for a while. It's about Paru."

"What is it?"

* * *

><p>Asuna crossed the fingers on her tiny left hand as she reached into the paper bag with her right hand, hoping to fish out the one scrap of paper she wanted from the other scraps around it. Closing her eyes, she concentrated and waited to receive some kind of tingling sensation that would let her know that she had picked the right one.<p>

Magic.

"Some time today, Kagurazaka," said the teacher who was holding the bag. "There are other people waiting in line."

Looking behind her, she saw her fellow grade school classmates standing and waiting to pick out their song for the 1993 English Christmas Carol Show, an event scheduled to take place in the auditorium in a few nights. Parents or guardians of the girls involved could attend and use flash photography as they watch their little angels sing. At their age, the girls knew little conversational English but had heard enough English performances of the majority of Christmas carols that they were familiar with the music and lyrics, if not what the words actually meant.

Asuna sighed. There would be no magic to help her. Her song would be selected by the luck of the draw. Not wanting to be rude, Asuna grabbed the first scrap of paper she found and stepped off to the side. Smiling, she closed her eyes, uncrumpled the paper, opened her right eye and read what was written on it.

The smile quickly melted away.

"'_Jingle Bells'?_" asked Asuna. "Awww! Couldn't I pick again?"

"You aren't buying a house, Kagurazaka. You're singing a song in English. One song. And then you're done. This is the easiest and the fairest way I know of selecting songs. After school you can sing whatever you want. Here's your lyrics sheet." The teacher handed Asuna a sheet of paper with the Jingle Bells lyrics printed on them. "Besides, Jingle Bells is perfect for you because of the bells you wear in your hair."

Asuna knew that her teacher would say that.

Sighing, she sulked as she walked back to her desk.

"Oh, cool! I've got Frosty the Snowman!" said one of her classmates. Asuna stopped and turned around to see the owner of that voice, hoping that she was mistaken.

"Gack!" blurted Asuna, finding that she was not mistaken. It was bad enough that Asuna didn't get the song she wanted. Now, her overbearing classmate Haruna Saotome was the one who got her song. Asuna didn't hate Haruna. Rather, she liked the silence when Haruna wasn't around. Asuna also didn't hate Jingle Bells as much as she liked Frosty the Snowman. It was one of the few Christmas carols in which the lyrics talked about magic – and Asuna secretly believed in magic. Haruna overheard Asuna verbally lament Haruna's selection and her ahoge twitched. She approached her red-haired classmate and grinned.

"Why so sad, Asuna?" asked Haruna. "Are you still thinking about how I got a higher grade than you for our art project? You really should've let me help you when I offered it."

"Saotome, you keep calling me by my first name and you don't even use an honorific," said Asuna.

"You don't use honorifics with friends," said Haruna, waving off Asuna's observation.

"I know that... but we aren't friends... so stop doing that."

"Oh, didn't you know? I've decided that I'm gonna be everybody's friend... whether they want me to or not."

"This is why you drive me crazy. You can't make a decision like that."

"Yes, I can," said Haruna who was somewhat offended by Asuna's doubt. "The teachers say that I can do anything if I put my mind to it."

"Can not!"

"Can too! Know what else I'm gonna put my mind to? I'm gonna have bigger boobies than you when we're in junior high." Haruna punctuated her prediction with a sly grin. "I decided that just now."

"Why don't you decide to grow a bigger head so that you can't fit through the front door of the school building? Maybe then you'll have to go to another school and you won't bother me anymore!"

Haruna held her mouth open to fire back with a pointed remark of her own.

"Saotome!" yelled the teacher. "Leave Kagurazaka alone and sit down! Kagurazaka, take your seat."

Haruna looked at her teacher and opened her mouth as if to suggest that she was innocent of the crime of disturbing Asuna. Closing her mouth and folding her arms, Haruna chose to end the hostilities with a killshot rather than engage in a long brawl.

"Y'know," said Haruna as she turned to face Asuna, "I was _about_ to trade songs with you since I could tell that you wanted Frosty… but now I'm not gonna because you're so angry all the time. _DINNNG!_" With that, Haruna quickly finger-flicked the bell on Asuna's right ponytail and quickly ran back to her seat.

Asuna despised having her bells played with and Haruna knew it. To Asuna, nothing was worth playing nice with Haruna; not even to acquire her song of choice. Like a human who has touched an animal's offspring, Haruna's stink was now all over Frosty the Snowman. The song was now dead to her.

* * *

><p>It was the night of the performance and Asuna sat in a chair behind the backdrop along with several of her classmates, waiting their turn to sing their song. Asuna watched as Haruna strutted out to center stage as proud as a four-eyed peacock. Nitta-sensei played the opening notes to Frosty the Snowman on the old auditorium piano in his stuffy old way, which was Haruna's cue to begin her song. Asuna crossed her fingers and closed her eyes, wishing with every ounce of her being that Haruna would puke on stage or suffer some other sort of accident. Magic seemed to lie just beyond the redhead's grasp and she used Haruna's mantra of putting her mind to this task and making her wish come true through sheer force of will, if not magical power. If she never had another opportunity to summon magic after this, she would be satisfied with showing up her big-mouthed classmate.<p>

"_Fro-sty the snowman / was a jolly happy soul / with a corn cob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal / Fro-sty the Snowman / was a fairy tale, they say / He was made of snow but the children know how he came to life one day / There must have been some ma-gic in that old top hat they found / for when they placed it on his head, they heard him hol-ler 'STOP! Ohhh-'_"

Asuna's eyes popped open. Did Haruna actually mess up or was she imagining it? She looked at her classmates and most of them were laughing. A wide smile decorated her face as their reactions confirmed it.

"AH! YOU SCREWED UP!" yelled Asuna as she held her belly with one hand and pointed at Haruna with the other. "_AHHHHH HA HA HAAAAAAAA! You got the words wrong!_ _**AHHHHHH**_** HAHAHAHAHA!**"

Tears of embarrassment ran down Haruna's rapidly reddening face as over half the people in attendance chuckled at the flubbed lyric. She hung her head and stood quietly as Nitta-sensei restarted the music several times in vain, which resulted in his discomfort as well as more laughter. Haruna did not sing. Instead, a wicked rumbling chuckle rose from Haruna's chest. It escalated slowly until it had evolved into a maniacal laughter that silenced the audience.

"In this world, we'll never run out of people who'll laugh at the mistakes of others!" said Haruna with tears still running down her eyes. "What if it was **you** who was up here and **you** made a mistake? How would you feel if **you** got laughed at? Pretty embarrassed, right? I should be angry at those of you who laughed at me just now but instead, I want to thank you… because tonight, your meanness has given me a goal! I can do anything if I set my mind to it and I... Haruna Saotome... will dedicate the rest of my life to _taking over the world and remaking it in my image!"_ Haruna made a fist and swung it wildly over her head. "It'll be a beautiful place full of love and happiness for everybody and laughing at anyone's mistakes will be punished! So go ahead and laugh at my mistake while it's still legal!" Haruna pointed to the adults in the audience and more than a few of them felt a tingle run up their spine from the girl's chilling vow. "In the end, _I'll_ be the last one laughing and she who laughs last, laughs the best! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!"

"How are **you** going to rule the world?" yelled Asuna with both open hands by either side of her mouth.

Haruna gave the matter some thought and came to a conclusion.

"**Through **_**mangaaaaaa!**_" declared Haruna as she pointed upward melodramatically.

Everyone in attendance laughed at Haruna's absurd declaration. Thoroughly embarrassed and irritated, Haruna ran from the stage in tears and left the auditorium.

Later, Asuna would have to leave the auditorium as well – for laughing too hard to perform her song.

* * *

><p>"<em>My... poor... baby..." <em>said Konoka in a high pitched voice. Konoka knew it was mean to laugh at a traumatic event from her beloved's childhood but the image of Frosty hollering 'STOP!' after he came to life when his magic hat was placed on his head was too funny. "_PFFFTheeheeheeheeheeheehee!_"

Both girls laughed until the novelty wore off.

"So has Haruna already done those lovey-dovey things you mentioned?" asked Asuna as she wiped her eyes dry.

"No," replied Konoka, "but she's taken the first step in that direction; something which Secchan has yet to do. My heart was starving for someone to show me their love fearlessly, Asuna. Hugs, kisses, intimacy... Secchan _must_ have known that I would have accepted her feelings and yet I've had to practically **seize** every crumb she's afraid to throw me... and then along comes Haruna who lays out this banquet of love, all just for me. How could I refuse?"

"But Konokaaaa," whined Asuna, "you **know** Setsuna... it's hard for her to express her feelings. You should have given her more time."

"Well, I'm sorry but no one told me that I had to become a nun while waiting for Secchan to muster up the courage to ask me if she can _hold my freaking hand!_ And yeah, I know her... but I also know Haruna... intimately, now." Konoka smiled as she remembered how Haruna made her feel. She examined her fingernails as she decided to share those feelings with Asuna. "I'm not in the habit of making heterosexual friends uncomfortable with details of a homosexual encounter..."

"Then don't," said Asuna glibly.

"...but when Haruna and I make love..."

"Oh, Ga-hawd, _plea-hease_ doh-ho-hon't," whimpered Asuna as sheets of tears ran down her cheeks.

"...it's like she's burning with a passion that's so hot that I think she'll set me on fire."

"Keep talking and I think _I'll_ set you on fire."

"She's an artist, as you know..." continued Konoka as she stared into space.

Exasperated, Asuna leaned forward and plopped her head between her knees as she waited for Konoka to finish.

"...and like any good artist," continued Konoka, "she needed to become intimately familiar with her canvas. There isn't a part of my body that she hasn't kissed, tasted or caressed and she knows where, when and how I like to be touched. She likes to hear me breathe heavily and moan because it lets her know how well she's doing... and it's hard for me to keep quiet when she works so tirelessly to hone her skills and bring me over the edge. We were a bit awkward with one another the first time but now she can anticipate when I want to be treated roughly and when I want her to treat me gently... but when she's feeling a little mischievous, she'll tease me by doing the exact opposite... then I'll pout and give her a nudge followed by an annoyed whimper and she'll go back to pleasing me the way I want. I try to give as good as I get but as much as she tries to convince me that I'm wrong, I think she surpasses me in the passion department. And when she finally makes me cum..." Konoka closed her eyes, smiled, drew in a slow deep breath and let it out just as slowly. She opened her eyes, placed her fingertips across her collarbone and blushed. "My God, Asuna... when I cum, it's like I'm floating in a beam of light made of pure joy that shines on a pedestal in heaven... and Kami-sama and all the angels are playing harp music. The next moment, I'm a drop of water in a raging river of womanhood... all womankind, really. My orgasm connects me to this timeless spiritual river of sheer bliss where every woman on the planet that's come before me – no pun intended – and every woman yet to be born are simultaneously experiencing their orgasms, drawing their euphoria from that river like a villager with a bucket. Then, my sense of self melts away and I become indistinguishable from every other woman there. I'm old, I'm young, I'm a mother, I'm barren, I'm a virgin and it's my first time, I'm a slut and it's my umpteenth time, I'm every woman of every race from every walk of life from all around the globe... and then I'm just Konoka Konoe from Japan again. And I look at the direction that I perceive to be 'up' and I see the sandal of Kami-sama."

"Just his sandal?"

"Well, His _foot_ is in it, of course. He's so big that his sandal is all I can see. It'd be pretty silly for Kami-sama to deliberately leave His sandal lying around so that women having an orgasm will see it."

"Hi, ladies," said Asuna in a deep voice intended to be Kami-sama's. "Having an orgasm? Good times, good times." Asuna held out her right hand as if she was holding something and then pointed to the unseen item with her left hand. "Hey, so this is my _toothpaste_."

Konoka enjoyed a giggle at Asuna's comment and continued.

"Then, what seems like an eternity later... or maybe a few seconds later... I've returned to the earth and I open my eyes... and there's Paru-chan, snuggled up beside me, holding me gently and smiling. My sweaty, panting, beautiful artist's latest masterpiece was well received by her favorite critic. I know she's smiling because she's just as excited and happy with the finished product as I am. And I have to smile back. It was a product of freely given love; as in love that I didn't have to chase her down to receive." Asuna flinched at Konoka's not-so-subtle dig at Setsuna. "But the best part of all is that every piece of art she creates is better than the one before it. Practice makes perfect and no one is luckier than me that Paru is such a perfectionist when it comes to her art. My body and soul ache for the next opportunity to be her canvas; almost as much as my next opportunity to stand in front of the easel and create some art with _her_ as _my_ canvas."

"Fingerpainting, no doubt," said Asuna.

"You're awful," said Konoka with a chuckle. "You might dismiss what I've just told you as the ramblings of a silly teenager who's just been introduced to the joys of sex but I wouldn't be doing it justice if I had used fewer words than I did and the words that I did use hardly seem like enough. It's an old expression but I can't think of anything else that explains it any better: you simply... **do... not... know...** what you're missing, Asuna."

"You experienced all _that_... from screwing **Paru?** She didn't happen to shove some funny looking mushrooms in her coochie before you went down on her, did she?"

Konoka chuckled once as she shook her head slowly, pitying the virgin Asuna.

"You're missing the point. It's not just screwing. Anyone can **screw**. Chamo-kun and Chachazero-chan can **screw**."

"_Thank_ you for giving me _that_ wonderful mental image," said Asuna as she slid off the couch like syrup and sat on the floor with her back resting against the edge of the couch cushions. "Now I'll have to scrub my brain with a scouring pad to get it out."

"Haruna and I share an emotional connection as well as a physical one. We make love to one another. Our love makes us better people. I hope that you get a boyfriend and experience the wonders of lovemaking when you're ready. It's beyond words. It's so amazing that I almost feel sorry for you."

"I'm perfectly content with not having a love life, thank you very much. But this is Paru we're talking about! No good can come of this! She'll eat your pure soul!"

"Augh!" exclaimed Konoka as she held her head. "Again with this 'eating my soul' nonsense? Why does everyone seem to think that I'm always Little Miss Perfect and she's always Little Miss Up-To-No-Good? I don't think you're being very fair to Haruna... or to me, for that matter. She's not eating anything of mine." Konoka placed her finger on her chin and turned her eyes upward as some naughty thoughts had made her grin. "Hmm... Well, that's not _entirely_ true... but that's beside the point." Konoka's grin left her face and she returned to her earlier stern demeanor. "Anyway, the point is that through our lovemaking, Haruna and I are better people. I can't expect a single virgin to understand. Haruna and I are a couple now. She loves me and I love her... and if you can't be happy for me or support our love, then I've misunderstood what a friend is supposed to be. Your disapproval of her proves to me that you don't trust my judgment and, quite frankly, I feel a bit insulted."

"It's called 'looking out for you'."

"It's called 'I'm not six years old anymore'. I knew what I was doing when I chose to make love to Haruna. I hoped that you of all people would understand where I was coming from and give me your blessing but if not, well, it's not as if I can force you to like the idea. Secchan will always have a special place in my heart as a platonic friend but _she_ wasn't my girlfriend… and _you_ aren't my mother." Asuna's eyes widened as Konoka's words cut her to the quick. Konoka was equally surprised by the distinctive hard edge of her assertiveness but as she felt that she had done no wrong in doing so, she continued. "N-Now, it just so happens that Haruna needs a place to stay for the night... possibly even a few nights... and I told her that I'd ask you if she could stay here but I'm only telling you as a courtesy – meaning I don't really _need_ your permission. This is **our** room and I've got no problem with you, Negi-kun or even Chamo-kun bringing anyone here to sleep over because I trust your judgment. I've played the dean's silent granddaughter for way too long and, like Paru-chan told me, if I have a muscle, there's no reason why I shouldn't flex it every now and then if it gets me the desired results."

Asuna rose from her floor and stood at her full height. As she approached Konoka, the chocolate-haired girl took a step back, hoping that another harisen hit was not in her future. Holding her chin, Asuna examined Konoka from all angles, even going so far as to look up her skirt – though what Asuna expected to learn by looking at her panties was a mystery to Konoka.

"Mmmmm-_hm_," said Asuna, nodding as though she had reached some sort of conclusion.

"What?" asked Konoka suspiciously.

"There's no mistaking it," said Asuna. "You've been infected with Paru's venom."

"Now you're just being mean. She's not a cobra, for crying out loud." Konoka found it hard to believe that Haruna was regarded with such suspicion by her classmates when she had shared such tender moments with her. Perhaps Konoka could even convince Haruna to show that side of herself to others more often.

"Maybe not," said Asuna, "but you and I have known each other since we were both little and you've never even come **close** to speaking to me like this. I think she's influencing you more than you realize." Konoka tightened her lips and shifted her jaw as she listened to Asuna criticize Haruna. "I've known her for a while, too... and she's tolerable at best... but in my humble opinion, you are just too good for her. I'm Setsuna's friend as well as yours so I do **not** approve of this relationship... **but** because I'm your friend and I do trust your judgment... I'll give Haruna the benefit of the doubt for the first and only time and accept it. If things go well, I'll be the bigger person and apologize to both of you for having doubted her. If things go badly... and for **her** sake, I hope that they don't..." Asuna furrowed her brow and cracked her knuckles as she imagined just how little it would bother her to kick Haruna's ass if Konoka got hurt. Her expression shifted to a softer one as she grinned with the hope that all would go well. "...but if they do... come back to me and I'll have three things waiting for you: a shoulder to cry on, a mug of hot chocolate and a promise not to say 'I told you so'." Asuna opened her arms and held them at her side with her palms out. "I'll even throw in a free hug."

Konoka grinned and accepted the offer, sliding her arms around Asuna and holding her dear friend. As Asuna stroked the back of Konoka's hair, her face was wracked with an expression of concern over whether or not this was the best course of action. She missed the opportunity to harisen the hell out of Setsuna and get her to confess to Konoka. Would this be another instance where her interference might have prevented a later tragedy?

"I suppose that's as fair of a compromise as I can hope for. Thanks, Asuna." The two friends broke the hug and held hands. "I'm sorry if my manner of speech was a bit harsh. If I sound defensive, it's because I love Haruna and the rest of the class only knows her mischievous side. She's so much more than that and I hope that everyone in class will give her the same chance that you're giving her. I mean, I always loved her as my friend but as a lover... wow..." A smile crept upon Konoka's face as she looked at Asuna and chose her next words. "It was a thousand times more intense than... _masturbating_. Pfffffft!" Konoka closed her eyes and giggled as she covered her lips with the fingertips of her right hand.

"WWW_What_ was that laugh for just now?" asked Asuna as she raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Hmm?"

"That pause followed by that laugh. Are you implying that I masturbate?"

"Implying? Me? Nooooo."

Konoka bit her lip and continued to snicker at Asuna.

"You little rat!" spat Asuna as she rapped Konoka on the head gently with her knuckles. "You are too! You are so implying that I masturbate... and I _don't!_"

"_Really_, Asuna?" asked Konoka with a smirk. "Are you _really_ going to play innocent with _me?_"

"I'm not _playing_ innocent, I _am_ innocent! What makes you think I masturbate?"

"This isn't Negi-kun you're talking to, Asuna. This is Konoka. You know... the girl who sleeps underneath you in the bottom bunk? Unless you're practicing your sprinting in the top bunk on the nights and mornings Negi-kun is out and you don't have to go to work, it's not hard to imagine what would cause you to huff and puff so hard."

"Paru must have wrapped those chunky thighs of hers around your ears so tightly that it broke your eardrums... because you have _never_ heard that from me."

"_Her thighs are __**not**__ chunky!_" spat Konoka. "But, wow, you sure are determined to stick to your story."

"It's not a story. I don't masturbate... but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't do it with _you_ under my bunk."

"You don't have to be ashamed about that sort of thing with me, Asuna. I'm only giving you a hard time. We're only human."

Asuna closed her eyes for a moment and then reopened them.

"Actually, Konoe-san, Asuna-san was never a human," said Asuna. "Nor am I, for that matter."

"Eh?"

Suddenly, Asuna's head, neck and the areas of her collarbone and chest that were visible from the neckline of her pajama top faded out of focus momentarily. When the distortion cleared, in Asuna's place was Luna, Fate's former ministra from the Magical World. Konoka was weirded out by the transformation but not surprised by it.

"Oh, it's you, Luna-chan," said Konoka. "Your words threw me off a little."

"Sorry about that, Konoka-san," said Luna.

"No, it's okay, it's okay. And you don't have to be so polite, Luna-chan; please call me Konoka."

"Oh. O-Okay, Konoka."

"I guess you heard Asuna talking about what she wants to do for you when you're supposedly going to wake up a hundred years from now?"

"I did. Thankfully, Asuna-san has plans on graduating from college before returning to the Magical World to reclaim Old Ostia's throne and that happens to be when my program ends. We have time yet so it should be fine."

"Paru and I were just talking about you and how we were committed to keeping your secret safe from Asuna. Sometimes I forget that you've taken Asuna's place and that... she's really gone. I'd say that I miss her but when you assumed her identity here at Mahora after her sealing, it really felt as though she never really left us. Negi-kun, Chamo-kun and I have spoken privately and we're all amazed at how everything seems the same. I guess it's because your portrayal of her is so convincing."

"I wish I could take credit for it but I'm literally doing nothing but letting the Asuna-san personality act as she is wont to do. Anyway, I felt the need to step in and say a few things as myself: First, the views expressed by Asuna-san are hers alone and do not reflect my own. If you and Sakurazaki-san were not already in a committed relationship, then it's my opinion that you did nothing wrong when you did as your heart bade you. If you've found happiness with Saotome-san, I'm happy for you... and I'm certain that the people of my world would be happy for you as well if they knew."

"Thank you, Luna-chan," said Konoka with a smile. "It makes me happy to know that I have your support in addition to Asuna's." On a personal level, Konoka was glad to know that the Magical World wasn't as narrow-minded on the subject of same sex couples as this world could sometimes be. If it wasn't for the effect Asuna's reappearance would have on the general public there, Konoka would have considered having her wedding ceremony held in the Magical World.

_Wait, why am I thinking of marriage?_ wondered Konoka. _Do I want to... marry Paru?_

"You're very welcome," said Luna with a bow. "Second, I was in no way responsible for the suggestion that Saotome-san should be tarred and feathered. That was entirely the Asuna-san personality's idea. That punishment was a little extreme."

"O-Oh," said Konoka, bringing herself back to reality and paying attention to Luna once again. "I'll be... sure to pass that along to Paru-chan for you."

"Thank you. Also, I've seen Saotome-san in the bath hall recently and while I haven't examined them as closely as you have, I have to side with Asuna-san on this one." Luna held her right thumb and index finger a few centimeters apart in a gesture that suggested a tiny measurement. "Saotome-san's thighs are juuuuuuust a weeeeeeeeee bit on the chunky side; just a tad."

"How nice," said Konoka sarcastically with her eyes half-open. "Were there any _other_ nice things you wanted to tell me?"

"That would depend upon whether or not you consider honesty as being 'nice'. I felt that I should take responsibility for my... actions by saying that... I happen to know that Asuna-san is... innocent of the charges made against her."

"Eh? Charges? What charges?"

"Um..." Luna's face turned bright red and she hung her head to where her bangs cast a shadow over her eyes. She tapped her index fingers together as she trembled from head to toe. Her voice lowered as she spoke and Konoka had to get closer to Luna to hear what she was saying. "You see, what you heard... above you in the top bunk... wasn't _Asuna-san_ m-masturbating. That... was... me."

Konoka's eyes turned into small black dots from Luna's confession.

"_Awk_-warrrrrd," sang Konoka as she blushed and covered her mouth with the fingertips of her right hand.

"Indeed! I'm sorry!" Luna bowed apologetically to Konoka. "There are times when I can't help myself. Asuna-san was being truthful when she said that she doesn't feel the urge to m-masturbate... however, I do feel that urge occasionally... and there's nothing I can do about it except to drop Asuna-san's personality while she sleeps and have at it. Her bed is so comfortable... and N-Negi-san's scent is so strong here. I thought I was being discreet about it. This is most embarrassing! I'm truly sorry for inconveniencing you with something so shameful. I promise to leave the bunk and go to the bathroom from now on if I feel the urge to... do that. A-And I'll be certain that Negi-san isn't in. Please accept my apologies."

"It's okay. It's perfectly normal for girls our age to masturbate."

"Thank you for understanding," said Luna with a sigh. Konoka turned her head, covered her mouth with the tips of the fingers of her right hand and looked at the refrigerator, seemingly lost in thought.

"Come to think of it, your confession would explain why all the cucumbers I buy at the market have been disappearing from the crisper."

Luna's face turned even redder than it had earlier.

"I D-D-DON'T USE CUCUMBERS TO M-M-M– _I DON'T USE CUCUMBERS!_" whimpered Luna as V-tears flew from her circular eyes.

"I'm only teasing you, silly," said Konoka, smiling and sticking her tongue out. "You're so easily flustered."

Luna pouted at Konoka's jest. As Ministras of Fate and as war orphans, Shirabe, Koyomi, Homura, Tamaki and Luna (then referred to as Shiori) tended to have a dour and taciturn way about them and were not in the habit of teasing one another while in Fate's service as it served no real purpose.

"By the way," said Konoka, "how's it going in there? Are you getting enough to eat?"

"Ohhhh, not you, _too_, Konoka!" Luna pouted and appeared to be annoyed with Konoka's question.

"Not me, too, what?" asked Konoka.

"Everyone misunderstands how Signum Biolegens works even though I've explained it to people a hundred times. I'm not locked up in some box when I assume Asuna-san's appearance and personality. I'm present in mind at all times. I see the things she sees, I breathe the air she breathes and I eat the food she eats. In a way, Asuna is the one eating for me. Ooh! Speaking of which, have you heard that Yotsuba-san will be preparing a special dinner just for our class? Your class, that is."

"No, I haven't!" said Konoka excitedly. "When is it?"

"This Saturday evening!"

"Awwww, I can't go. I have a shopping date with Haruna on Saturday."

"Couldn't you postpone it? The main course is a secret but she announced that the dessert will be a layer cake topped with rum-soaked apples! Oh, I can hardly wait! I do hope Asuna-san will have a second helping. Are you certain that you can't make it, Konoka?"

"Well, I'll talk with Haruna and see what she says. We've got a wager riding on which of us can outshop the other... so she might be hard to sway... but she does enjoy Sacchan's cooking so maybe she'd be willing to postpone it for that. How does Sacchan have access to liquor, anyway? She's a minor."

"She's been given a special dispensation by the cafeteria committee to have her larders stocked with cooking sherry, sake and other spirits for use in recipes which call for them. The committee monitors how much she uses by measuring the bottles. Oh, I do so adore apples. They remind me of jeskaphris from back home."

"_Waaaaaah!"_ whined Konoka as sheets of tears ran down her face. "I miss jeskaphris **so much** I could just **dieeeee!**" Konoka plopped into the couch face first, pounded the cushions with her fists and then remained motionless. "Ask Kaede-chan; when we were first lost in the Magical World together and started to earn some drachma, I would always run to seek out a food merchant that sold jeskaphris! I think they're way tastier than apples... and they don't give me the runs as much as apples do!"

'_The runs'?_ wondered Luna.

"I want one right now in the **worst way!**" said Konoka as she knelt on the couch and flailed her arms about in frustration. "Oh, how I **wish** that the Magical World customs officers would have allowed us to bring some seeds back here to the Real World."

_Real world?_ thought Luna.

Luna had been brought up to say _**Mundus Magicus**_ and _**Mundus Vetus**_ to differentiate between the two worlds – or even the more relaxed _**New World**_ and _**Old World**_ – so she took offense when veteres called their world the "Real World" because, to Luna, Mundus Magicus was just as real to her as Mundus Vetus was to veteres. As she watched the chocolate-haired girl close her eyes and wax nostalgic about her unattainable favorite snack, Luna thought of a devious way to tease Konoka for her cultural faux pas, however innocent.

"Did you say 'seeds'?" asked Luna.

"Yes, jeskaphri seeds," replied Konoka, "so that I could grow a jeskaphri tree here."

"Konoka, you thought jeskaphris were _fruits_?"

"You mean they're not fruits? Are they considered vegetables, then?"

"No, they're not plant material at all. I thought you knew. Jeskaphris are solidified jeskaph abdomens."

"Jeskaph... **abdomens?**"

"Jeskaphs are large insects native to the Elysian Continent. They're harmless to people but they ravage sweet weema plant crops wherever they go. They convert the sugar in the sweet weema they've eaten into a kind of pulpy nectar which they store in their abdomens. In the past, when famine spread, desperate times called for desperate measures... and the jeskaphs weren't in short supply. Before long, the jeskaphs went from pest to economically feasible food source."

"But-but-but... I _saw_ them... hanging from trees."

"That's how jeskaphri farmers traditionally prepare jeskaphris so that they're suitable for consumption. The abdomens are hung from trees and the nectar within, along with their blood, congeals as they dry in the warmth of the sun. Haven't you noticed how closely the coloration from a jeskaphri's juices resembles blood?"

"_I never gave it much thought_," muttered Konoka as her spiral eyes stared vacantly into space.

"Six days later, you've got an edible jeskaphri. In the native tongue of the Megalo-Mesembrians, 'ri' loosely translates into 'ass'. So, you see, even if you were permitted to bring jeskaphs along, without sweet weema plants for them to eat, you wouldn't be able to use them for making jeskaphris so you'd essentially be starving them to death. They might be able to subsist on some other form of Mundus Vetus vegetation but the change in diet would no doubt affect the resulting jeskaphri's taste."

"_Oh, no doubt_," parroted Konoka.

"Why, Konoka, you look as though you've fallen ill!" Luna fought off a smile as her story was working better than she thought it would. "Is it because what I've just told you has ruined your appreciation for jeskaphris?" Konoka nodded twice and then held her head as the movement only added to her nausea. "Don't you eat beasts here in the 'Real World'?"

"Sure... fish and fowl... _but not insects!_ _Ugh! I can't believe I swallowed bug butts!_"

"Actually, what you really swallowed was my lie. I was only teasing you. Jeskaphris are indeed fruits just like apples in the 'Real World'. My jest was just how I show the sense of humor that I developed when I lived in Mundus Magicus. You know; the 'Fake World'?" After sticking her tongue out at Konoka, Luna smiled, closed her eyes and giggled.

Luna felt a strange chill in the air and when she opened her eyes, she noticed an eerie white energy emanating from Konoka that resembled a flame. The chocolate-haired girl's angry eyes were pupilless and her clenched teeth ground together. It was not the face of someone who appreciated the genius of Luna's practical joke.

"B-B-But I thought you approved of teasing!" stammered Luna as she trembled with fear.

"Sure I do," growled Konoka, "but when you use them as a means of toying with a girl's affection for her favorite snack – one which she can't get anymore – **you must be prepared to pay the penalty!**" Wrapping her hands tightly into a pair of fists and holding her arms outward, Konoka took slow, deliberate steps to close the distance between Luna and herself.

"Wh-Which is... wh-what, exactly?" asked Luna. A bead of sweat ran down Luna's forehead and she backed away as Konoka came closer, wondering if it would have been rude or presumptuous to cast a deflexio to protect herself from harm.

Suddenly, Konoka's energy aura vanished and her cheerful smile replaced the scowl she had just moments earlier.

"_I get to grope your boobieeees!_" beamed Konoka as she gleefully reached out and fondled Luna's chest over her pajama top.

"KYAAAA!" yelped Luna as she attempted to turn and run away without touching Konoka's skin. The tactic was ill conceived as it only gave Konoka the opportunity to hug Luna from behind and grope her breasts liberally; an opportunity which she happily took. In a rare display of strength, Konoka brought Luna to the bottom bunk bed by wrapping her arms around her victim's waist, lifting her off the floor and carrying her there. Setting Luna back on her feet, Konoka threw her weight onto her bed while still holding on to Luna, effectively lying on the mattress with Luna positioned with her back atop Konoka's chest. Luna's arms and legs flailed about in an attempt to free herself but Konoka had hooked her legs around Luna's waist to weigh her captive down and keep her from escaping.

"_Naaaaaa ha ha haaaa..._ Wheeeeeeee!" cheered Konoka as her hands returned to the task of fondling Luna's breasts. "This is fun!" It was more trouble for Luna to contest this punishment than it was to wait it out end and so Luna let her arms drop to her side with a sigh as she patiently allowed Konoka to have her way with her mammaries. "You're such a good sport, Luna-chan! Asuna would always object whenever I would try to grope her. Secchan, too... but not as much."

"I can't imagine why any girl would object to having her chest fondled by a female friend," lamented Luna with no small amount of bone dry sarcasm.

"**I **_**know**_**, right?** Some people, huh?"

"Yes, 'some people'."

"Want to grope mine? It's only fair."

"Thanks, but I'll pass. Are you quite finished, Konoka?"

"Mmmmmm... yeah, I am. Hee!"

Konoka released Luna and when the Mundus Magicus native sat up in the bed, Konoka immediately pounced on her and pinned her to the mattress face up.

_What now?_ wondered Luna.

"I'm so glad you decided to come live here at Mahora, Luna-chan," said Konoka. "You might be doing it as Asuna ninety-nine percent of the time but you know what I mean."

"I will say that there's certainly never a dull moment. I learn a little more about Negi-san and Mundus Vetus every day. And then there's the fact that attending Mahora is much better than serving a prison sentence." _Although what I just went through felt suspiciously like prison rape,_ thought Luna.

"And with your artifact," said Konoka, "it's like I'm getting two friends for the price of one!" Konoka smiled as she was starting to feel like her old self again and she closed her eyes as she gave Luna an extended peck on the lips. "Don't tell Haruna about that one, okay? That was just a friendly kiss and I don't want to give her the... wrong... idea?"

Konoka could tell by the way that Luna was looking at her that something was seriously wrong. With tears welling up in her eyes, Luna placed her fingers over her own lips and crawled backward on her elbows and knees away from Konoka, trembling in horror as she stared at the healing mage.

"Luna-chan... what's wrong?" asked Konoka.

"H-How can you revel in your happiness with Saotome-san..." said Luna. "...How can you laugh and smile... _when you've done something so cruel to one of your best friends?_" Tears ran down her face and she covered her face with her hands. "_It's... it's... heartless!_"

Konoka covered her own mouth with both hands and gasped as she understood what had just happened. Luna was from a race of mind readers that could read a person's thoughts through skin-to-skin contact. By kissing Luna, Konoka had inadvertently revealed all of the details of her relationship with Haruna, including the promise Setsuna had been asked to make to remain silent about her assault.

"_Poor Sakurazaki-san!" _sobbed Luna._ "She trusted you more than anyone else in the world and you treated her worse than one would treat a stranger!_"

"N-No, Luna-chan, y-you don't understand..." stammered Konoka.

"_You're right; I don't!_"

"I can explain..."

"_You're wrong; you can't! And I __**know**__ that you can't because I __**saw**__ that you can't! If you can't even justify your actions to yourself, how can you possibly justify them to me?_"

"Luna-chan..." Konoka slowly reached a hand out, unsure of what she was planning on doing with the part of Luna that her hand would touch.

"_Don't __**touch**__ me!_" shrieked Luna as she closed her eyes and crossed her forearms out in front of herself.

Konoka withdrew her hand in fear. Not counting the Yue she met in her dreams, no one had ever refused her touch so adamantly before. She looked at her hand, half expecting to see a monster's claw similar to Negi's when he was being consumed by Magia Erebea. Her hand had the same outward appearance it always had. It was only a monster's claw on the inside; an inside that she had just forced Luna to see.

"No, no, no... don't pay me any mind," said Luna. "This is all my fault. I should have reminded you not to get too close to me. My people have always considered our gift as a mixed blessing but I've only personally experienced its downside once before... when it... _cost my sister her life._" Luna reached for the box of facial tissues on the coffee table and rapidly grabbed four sheets in succession.

_What I wouldn't give to have you back, onée-chan_, thought Luna.

After blowing her nose and dabbing her eyes dry, Luna averted her eyes as she continued speaking.

"I knew that something like this would happen eventually," she said, "but I never would have suspected that you of all vetere would have been the one to make me regret my heritage. I... I have to remind myself that what you do is none of my business. I'm not here to judge you. I knew that when Negi-san and Yukihiro-san petitioned Princess Theodora to reduce my sentence to an extended Mundus Vetus work release program that I might experience certain cultural differences and that I would not agree with everything that I saw; either with my eyes or my second sight. Please disregard my outburst. I shouldn't have allowed my feelings to get in the way of my work. You must understand that prolonged usage of Signum Biolegens can sometimes blur the line between Asuna-san's personality and my own. You're Asuna-san's friend and since I remain disguised as Asuna-san for as long as I do, I tend to forget that you're not _my_ friend-"

"But we _are_ fr-"

"-so you don't owe me any explanations," interrupted Luna, muscling her way through Konoka's words. "And when you don't _have_ any explanations to give, it's pointless to _offer_ any."

"Will... Asuna know about this? Once you return to her form, I mean."

"No. I learn what Asuna-san learns, not the other way around. I'd have to break my silence to tell her. And it would only serve to traumatize the Asuna-san personality if she learned that she's not really here. To get her to forget that truth, I'd have to reset my artifact... and I'd need to kiss the genuine Asuna-san once more which is impossible since she's sealed away in Mundus Magicus. The responsibility falls to you to tell Asuna-san what you've really done. As I've come to know her at least as well as I know myself, I doubt that she would have an easy time of forgiving such an act."

"H-Here's the big question: Will you... report this to my grandfather?"

"Would that I could do so... but to the people of Mundus Magicus, you and Saotome-san are decorated war heroes. That distinction affords you both certain liberties; one of which is Militis Praerogativas: Soldier's Prerogative. It's an outdated institution originally enacted to encourage enlisting during my world's earliest wars. Sexual indiscretions of war veterans and war heroes that have been discovered after the fact are not to be made public and/or held against them. Your... indiscretion is protected under the Militis Praerogativas act and, as such, I have an obligation to look the other way in this matter. To do otherwise would discredit me back home. Do you see how backward Militis Praerogativas is? **I'd** be the one in trouble if it was discovered that I had a hand in reporting what **you** did. And as I am still on probation with the Hellas Empire authorities for my involvement in Cosmo Entelecheia's kidnapping of Asuna-san, I would be extradited to Mundus Magicus immediately for committing such a breach of protocol and perhaps even be imprisoned for treason. What's more is that the regular charitable donations I make to the war orphanages back home with the generous salary Yukihiro-san pays me for my time spent here as Asuna-san would cease... and I don't want that to happen."

Konoka exhaled a breath of relief. How many more lucky breaks did she and Haruna have left? The easy answer: not nearly enough.

"Thank you," said Konoka with gratitude.

Luna's eyes grew wide with shock and disgust upon hearing Konoka's words and then narrowed with anger for the same reason. It had never occurred to Konoka that a harmless "thank you" could do more damage said than left unsaid. Konoka flinched and cowered as Luna approached her, unaware of the herculean effort on Luna's part not to slap her for those two little words.

A part of Konoka wanted to summon Setsuna to protect her.

To do so and for Setsuna to ignore her call would have hurt more than the attack.

"**D-Don't THANK me for what I MUST do, vetere!"** growled an angry Luna. "I said that I was **obligated** to look the other way! I'm not **happy **to do so! I'm not offering you my silence as a **favor** to you or in **support** of your actions! I have little choice in the matter! Curse your foolish friend's harebrained spontanaeity! Curse your simple-minded overaffectionate nature and **curse both of you** for making an upstanding and honorable girl like Sakurazaki-san suffer in silence! You've burdened my heart with the weight of your wrongdoings of which I cannot relieve myself due to an embarrassing technicality! Your horrible secret is safe with me but make no mistake: if not for your war hero status, I'd bring you and Saotome to justice so quickly that it would make both of your apathetic empty vetere **heads** spin!"

"_Please don't be mad at me, Luna-han!_" bawled Konoka as she sank to her knees and covered her face, crying almost as much as she did when Setsuna first walked away from her after the dark promise was made.

Luna folded her arms and turned her back on Konoka. Having peered into her thoughts a moment ago, Luna knew just how frightened Konoka was and yelling at her was only going to accomplish so much.

"Isn't that a request better asked of Sakurazaki-san?" asked Luna. "I'm no fortuneteller but I saw enough of your thoughts to know that you feel that there is a dark cloud over your heart."

Konoka cast her eyes downward as she felt that she didn't have the right to refute Luna's statement, much as she would have liked to.

"You're in pain from what you've done to Sakurazaki-san," continued Luna, "and the cloud's going to cover your heart more every day that you don't make a confession. I'd be worried when what you've done doesn't hurt you any longer... because when that day comes, you may look under that cloud over your heart and find that there's nothing underneath. I can only hope for Sakurazaki's sake that she will not develop genuine feelings for Ayase-san as you fear she might. Heartbreak is bad enough but unrequited love is..." Luna let her thoughts drift for a while as she pondered the almost nonexistent chance she had to capture the heart of either Negi or Fate. Shaking her head to regain her focus, Luna returned her gaze to Konoka. "I will keep your secret because the truth would do more harm. It's funny how in all the time I served Fate-sama working for a supposedly 'evil' organization that _this_ is the first time my actions make me want to vomit. I'm reassuming Asuna-san's identity now. Good-bye. Do you know how to signal me if you need me to appear?"

The question caught Konoka off guard as she was not expecting Luna to offer her an opportunity to speak with her again.

"Eh? O-Oh, yeah. I just have to do _this_ when Asuna's looking at me, right?" Konoka placed the palm of her open right hand across the fingertips of her open left hand, forming the letter T used in sporting events to signal timeouts.

"Yes, that's right," said Luna. "Don't bother signalling for me anymore. I won't respond. Not to _you_, anyway."

"Oh," whimpered Konoka. "Okay."

Konoka rubbed her eyes and then heard a familiar voice.

"Konoka? Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Konoka looked up and saw that the Asuna personality had returned. It was a relief and a pleasure to look into a pair of eyes that did not know her for the bad friend that she was. It was enough to make her weep tears of joy. Remembering where she left off in the conversation she had with Asuna, Konoka hugged her friend and sobbed softly.

"I'm... just really sorry that I accused you of masturbating without any proof. And you were right about my hearing being off. I must have... made a mistake somewhere."

Asuna was thrown off by the unusual reaction and decided that it was better not to ask any more questions. She gently placed her arms around Konoka and held her.

_Having two friends in one_, thought Konoka. _That idea was nice while it lasted._

* * *

><p>Negi and Chamo groggily trudged up the length of the hall as they made their way to the stairwell that would lead to the entrance closest to Ayaka's room. Chamo was wobbling so badly with each step that he could have passed for a furry white metronome. Negi's eyes drooped and then closed. The boy wizard tumbled onto the carpet, nearly landing on and crushing Chamo in the process.<p>

"I don't want to climb up all those stairs, Aniki. And you're just about to pass out. Look, this is Zazie-san's room. Let's ask if we can stay with her for the night."

"I'm not so sure that that's such a good idea. And Iincho-san's room isn't much fa-"

"Oh, look, her door's open." Chamo ran over to the door and stuck his head inside to take a peek.

"Chamo-kun, you're supposed to knock before entering someone else's home."

"Why bother when there's a chance we might see something we wouldn't be allowed to see otherwise? C'mon, you might learn something."

Chamo slipped through the door and into the room where he saw something that stopped him dead in his tracks; something that had the potential to be the strangest thing he would ever see in his life. Negi pushed the door open, entered the room and bent down to pick up his rude familiar after which he would apologize to Zazie for their rudeness – but stopped short of actually touching Chamo as he too was overwhelmed by what he saw. He stood up straight and tried to piece together what was going on.

A stocky white squid with its back turned to the door was floating in the middle of the room juggling an assortment of small items shaped to resemble a cloud, a sun, a globe and a lightning bolt. Along with these shapes, the squid was juggling a slice of half-eaten pepperoni pizza and took occasional bites out of the slice when it would return to its tentacle before tossing it back up in the air with the rest of the juggled items. It appeared to be watching a large flatscreen television in the center of the room that was showing vintage English black and white newsreel footage of a bride and groom in France who were holding their wedding ceremony while walking a tightrope.

The squid turned around and its face was that of a humanoid; Zazie's, specifically. It even had her unique facial markings. The Zazie-squid noticed Negi and Chamo and was alarmed enough by the unexpected invasion of privacy to drop the juggled items and gasp. Suddenly, a puff of smoke enveloped the Zazie-squid and when it cleared, the squid was gone and 3-A student number 31 Zazie Rainyday stood in its place.

"I won't insult your intelligence, Negi-sensei," sighed Zazie as she closed her eyes and blushed. "You caught me doing... well, doing exactly what it looked like."

"W-Well, of course!" said Negi. "That is... what _else_ could it have been, right, Chamo-kun? Ah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Chamo was too flabbergasted to reply so Negi gave him a nudge with his foot which knocked the featherweight Chamo over on his side.

"Hm? _Oh!_ Yeah! Right!" said Chamo as he sat up. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I mean, come on, there's no way that two intelligent guys like us would mistake what we saw you doing for anything else other than... what you were doing... so there'd be no point in trying to deny it."

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" asked Zazie as she traced a circle on the carpet with the big toe of her right foot. "I'd... prefer not to think about how embarrassing it would be for me if this was to leave this room."

"Who, us?" asked Chamo. "Nawwwwww. Don't sweat it, babe. We're cool. We won't tell a soul."

"Thank you, Chamo," said Zazie with a bow. "And thank you, Negi-sensei. Now that that's out of the way, how may I help you?"

"How may you... help... me?" asked Negi.

"Yes," said Zazie. "I assumed that the two of you must have had _some_ reason for coming to see me at this hour. And in your pajamas, to boot."

"Y-You're absolutely right, Zazie-san," said Negi. "There _was_ a reason... of that much I'm certain... but for the life of me, I can't seem to remember what it was." Negi scratched his head and slowly began to step backwards in the direction of the door. Chamo noticed Negi's retreat and he did the same. "I'll tell you what we'll do: Chamo-kun and I will be on our way and we'll let you to return to your..." Negi nonchalantly covered his mouth and mumbled a few generic syllables, hoping it would pass for the word for Zazie's surreal activity. "...but the minute that I remember what it was that we wanted, I promise to let you know."

Zazie-san bowed and Negi returned the bow politely.

Seeing her guests to the door, Zazie closed and locked herself in for the night. Negi and Chamo stood in the hallway once more, staring at Zazie's door.

"Chamo-kun?" asked Negi.

"Yeah?" replied Chamo.

"What did we just witness?"

"I have no earthly idea, Aniki."

_I do know one thing,_ thought Chamo._ If that was how Zazie masturbates, it means that I still have a new and disturbingly surreal frontier left to explore._

* * *

><p>Yue wiped her mouth with a paper napkin and placed it on her plate after polishing off the last bite of her sandwich. Mana had made two apiece for both Yue and Setsuna and she sat at the kotatsu with her classmates and stared at them, waiting for them to finish their meal. Yue had a hearty appetite and didn't sweat the possibility that Mana might have poisoned her food since any reaction that would cause her to miss her call would spell the end of Mana's mercenary career in Japan. Setsuna had finished both of her sandwiches long before Yue, having wolfed them down frantically the moment she sat down at the table while avoiding making eye contact with Mana the whole time. As last meals went, Setsuna found that the sandwiches were top notch.<p>

"_Mmm_-mmm-**mmm!**" sounded Yue. "Those were some tasty sandwiches you made, Tatsumiya. I especially liked the bits of pickled ginger you threw in with the scrambled eggs. It appealed to the taste buds that are usually reserved for exotic juices. Thank you soooo much. You enjoyed yours, didn't you, Setsuna?"

"Immensely," replied a dot-eyed Setsuna. "Tatsumiya-san, you're a fine cook, an excellent combatant and the best roommate a girl could live a long bullet wound-free lifetime appreciating with expensive gifts." Setsuna brought her cup of tea to her lips with a trembling hand and took a sloppy sip of her tea. The image of Mana decapitating her was still fresh in Setsuna's memory and while that was an unlikely scenario, it was no secret that Mana could be an unholy terror when sufficently enraged and it was even less of a secret that Mana felt that Setsuna was partially responsible for this predicament.

"I'd say that the pleasure was all mine," said Mana, "but then I'd be lying... and we all know that I don't do that." Yue was the only one who smiled at Mana's sarcasm. "Was it really necessary to take photos of the sandwiches and upload them to your social media account?"

"Don't be so modest, Tatsumiya," said Yue. "Of course it was necessary. Satsuki-san would be the first to tell you that food is an art first and a means of sustenance second. I support the arts whenever possible and you should be proud of your creations. I even gave them their very own hashtag. See?" Yue took out her phone and showed both Mana and Setsuna the screen.

It read: #omnomsmadebymana.

"Oh, Yue," whimpered Setsuna, "please don't tell me that you intend to have Mana prepare _more_ meals for you."

"No," said Yue.

"Oh, thank goodness."

"I intend to have Mana prepare more meals for _us!_ Cooking for one can be kind of boring and I wouldn't want Tatsumiya to be bored."

Setsuna squealed with dread as sheets of tears poured down her cheeks. She lifted her eyes ever so slowly to see the look on Mana's face and, once she had made eye contact with Mana, regretted it instantly. Lifting her tea spoon, Setsuna tapped a message on the table in morse code.

_P-L-E-A-S-E-D-O-N-T-H-U-R-T-M-E-I-H-A-V-E-M-O-N-E- Y_, tapped Setsuna.

_N-O-T-E-N-O-U-G-H-T-O-O-V-E-R-L-O-O-K-T-H-I-S-Y-O- U-D-O-N-T_, tapped Mana in response. Clearly

Both Mana and Setsuna could have been knocked over with a feather as Yue began to tap out letters on the table with her spoon.

_M-A-N-A-I-S-A-B-I-T-_

A growling Mana drove her spoon into the table, cracking the finish and displacing the dinnerware atop it.

_H-I-G-H-S-T-R-U-N-G, _continued Yue.

Setsuna winced from the pain of biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"You've had your fun at my expense, Ayase," said Mana, "but this situation is intolerable and cannot be allowed to continue. Name your price for the envelope containing my personal records and let's be done with this. I have no desire to be your handmaiden indefinitely."

"It's _always_ about **money** with you, isn't it?" asked Yue.

"You don't want money?"

"Sure, I want money. Who doesn't? I just don't want **your** money, Tatsumiya. Not in exchange for the envelope, anyway."

"Then what _do_ you want?"

Yue folded her hands and spread her elbows apart as she rested her arms on the table and looked into Mana's eyes with sincerity.

"I want your humility," said Yue.

"You must be mad," scoffed Mana.

"I also want you taken down a peg or two and I want you to stay there," continued Yue. "Not just because it's what I want but because you'll want it for yourself. I want you to look at yourself through the eyes of a girl who knows that a good deed is its own reward and I want you to be so disgusted by what you see, that you'll change your capitalistic ways for good... at least as far as how you treat your fellow classmates is concerned."

Mana fixed her glassy stare on her small classmate.

"I see," said Mana. "So this is about my arrangement with Sakurazaki-san regarding the door fee."

"An arrangement which I'm fine with, by the way," said Setsuna meekly.

"It's about more than that," said Yue, "but the door fee is part of it."

"I see no reason why I should stand here and be talked down to over the rules of my own room by the likes of you, Ayase," said Mana. The sharpshooter picked up an overnight bag which she had previously packed and she stormed out the door. "I'm spending the night at the shrine. You have until tomorrow night to stop being cute and name a real price. After that… we'll see."

Setsuna stood up, walked to the door and locked it. She returned to Yue with a look of concern and knelt before her, placing her hand on Yue's shoulder.

"It might not be too late to end this while Mana is still amenable to reason," said Setsuna. "I beg of you to please reconsider this dangerous game."

"How so?" asked Yue.

"You're overconfident. Mana is not to be trifled with in such a way. I have this sinking feeling that before this is over, you'll end up hurt... and I don't want to see that happen."

"Oh, I'm sure that I'll end up hurt... but I suspect that Mana won't be the one putting the hurt on me."

"What do you mean by that?"

Yue shook her head dismissively.

"Why don't we skip that for now? Let's take a bath and go to bed."

Setsuna flinched from the suggestion.

"Um..."

Yue could see that Setsuna had taken the suggestion the wrong way.

"I didn't mean that I wanted to _share_ a bath with you," Yue's cheeks had the slightest red highlights. "You go first. I'll wait until you're done."

"Oh," said Setsuna. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Both Yue and Setsuna had bathed and were now in bed. Setsuna lay in the bottom bunk while Yue took the liberty of claiming Mana's top bunk since she wouldn't be using it tonight. The lights were out yet neither girl could get to sleep.<p>

"What?" asked Yue suspiciously.

"Eh?" asked Setsuna. "I didn't say anything."

"You're not asleep. Is it because you're sad about me sleeping above you in Mana's bunk instead of next to you in yours?"

"The only thing sad about that is that I have to get out of bed in order to slap you."

"Awww, you wanted to cuddle next to me. Since I'm your girlfriend now, I can hardly blame you for wanting such a simple privilege. And with Mana gone, who knows what else sleeping together might lead to?"

Setsuna didn't answer.

Yue flinched as she heard a soft high-pitched whimper from the lower bunk followed by a sniffle. Had she upset Setsuna with her teasing? Considering the most recent attack, teasing her may not have been the smartest thing to do. It had been a long day for both of them and Setsuna had probably never developed a high tolerance for emotional stress. Getting a firm hold of the frame, Yue lowered her body to get a bat's eye view of Setsuna to apologize for making her cry.

"I-_plurbup!_" blurted Yue before plummeting to the carpet below.

Setsuna had feigned sorrow to lure Yue into checking up on her and took the opportunity to slap Yue playfully. The slap had instinctively caused Yue to release the frame and fall to the floor. The landing didn't injure Yue – she had taken falls from her old top bunk and knew how to land – but it was far from graceful.

"It looks as though I was wrong," said Setsuna with a smile. "I don't have to get out of bed to slap you after all. Good night, Yue." Setsuna pulled the covers over herself and prepared to go to sleep.

Yue got to her feet and was about to conk Setsuna in the head when she heard fake snoring mixed with snickers. Yue smiled and decided to get even with her in the morning.


	18. The Tent Commandments

Student number 12 Kaede Nagase quickly sat up in her sleeping bag and slowed her heartrate so as to better identify the unusual sound she heard a few meters southwest of her tent. It was the middle of the night and the sound, which Kaede believed to be the beating of wings, was coming closer to her tent and she could determine that the wings were a bit too large to belong to an indigenous creature. Even the crickets ceased their chirping as they too sensed the arrival of something that was not a fellow creature of Mother Nature's design. Extracting a pair of kunai from beneath her sleeping bag and placing them in her dogi, Kaede unzipped her tent and cautiously stepped outside in the event that her visitor meant her harm.

Once there, Kaede discovered that the sound she heard was the arrival of her classmate Mana Tatsumiya who had used her demon wings as her means of transportation. The woods were largely uninhabited by people during the night so the risk of Mana being spotted by a mundane was practically nil. The ivory-haired sharpshooter circled the tent once before retracting her wings while roughly two meters above the ground and dropped to one knee as she landed dramatically on her feet. The ground crunched softly as Mana stood to her full height and turned to face Kaede. Her restored ebony tresses danced gently in the breeze in synch with her open trenchcoat as she calmly approached her classmate. Mana was wearing her leotard/assless chaps combat gear, leading Kaede to believe that she was about to be briefed on some urgent mission requiring her ninja skills.

"Mana," said Kaede in acknowledgement of Mana's presence.

"Kaede," said Mana in acknowledgement of Kaede's presence.

Without saying another word, Mana walked right past Kaede, stopped at the tent's opening, kicked off her shoes and entered the tent. Naturally, Kaede was curious about what had prompted Mana to wander into her tent and so she followed her inside to see what there was to see. Once inside, she flinched as she found that Mana had stripped down to her leotard and was folding the articles of clothing that she had removed and was placing them in a neat stack beside the sleeping bag which Kaede had been using. The befuddled Kaede scratched her head in confusion as she watched Mana, unsure of what to make of this unusual behavior. Once Mana had made herself comfortable, she climbed into Kaede's sleeping bag, left it open and lay on her side with her back to Kaede.

"I _was_ sleeping there before you arrived," said Kaede with a grin.

"I know," said Mana, closing her eyes. "That's why I chose it. The temperature it still has from your body heat made it a more attractive choice than the unused one. I didn't think you'd mind since the other sleeping bag is sitting right beside this one."

Mana flinched as she felt something press against her chest. She opened her eyes and she saw, lying beside her in the same sleeping bag, a slit-eyed girl with a grin and an apparent death wish.

"Who says that I _wish _to use the other sleeping bag?" asked Kaede in a provocative yet humorous manner.

Mana drew a pistol from the magical storage compartment between her breasts, stuck her gun arm out from the sleeping bag and took aim at an unseen target behind her.

"Smith-san, Wesson-san and Trigger Finger-san all say that," said Mana. "Stop being silly and remove your double."

The genuine Kaede made herself visible and she dismissed the double in Mana's sleeping bag with a _nin_, restoring the previous occupancy of the sleeping bag to one.

"Truly, that demon eye of yours will forevermore be my foil," said Kaede with a pout. She knelt beside the unused sleeping bag and pulled the zipper along the length to open it. "I take it that you intend to share my tent for the night?"

"Before I answer that," said Mana, "you should know that if my answer is yes, sharing your tent would not count as a favor."

"Would it not?" asked Kaede.

"Negative. Favors involve an imposition of some kind and usually require an expenditure of resources or an additional effort made. I know that you always keep an extra sleeping bag beside your own in case you ever have company so sharing your tent would not be an imposition, no resources would be used and no additional effort would be put forth on your end. I'll answer your question now. Yes, I intend to share your tent for the night."

"You've certainly thought this through. Would it be such a terrible thing for you to be in my debt for something so small?"

"Yes, it would. If you go to sleep right now, you won't even know I'm here. In the morning, I'll be gone. You may ask me to leave if you don't want me here."

"Why would I ask you to leave? We are friends."

Mana flinched again. She rolled over in the sleeping bag and looked at Kaede.

"Kaede," said Mana. "Let's get something straight between us. You and I are **not** friends."

"Oh," said Kaede. "I was under the impression that we _were _friends."

"Yes, I've been aware of that for some time. I've spared your feelings thus far by not pointing it out at an earlier time because there was nothing to be gained by saying it outright. But as I happen to be in a foul mood tonight and you've placed the issue on the table, there you have it; one less thing on my to-do list. We are **classmates**. We have been _allies_ on the battlefield and we have even been _rivals_... but that is as far as our relationship goes. It is my hope that this won't affect your decision to allow me to stay in your tent but if it does, I would understand."

"What a pity." Kaede held her chin, crestfallen by Mana's statement. "I would _like_ to be your friend... but if you sincerely do not care for the idea–"

"I **don't**," interrupted Mana. "But don't misunderstand me. I don't _dis_like you most of-... well, half of the-... _some_ of the time... but I would never actively seek out your companionship, either. It has nothing to do with you. It's just the way that I'm wired. You're blessed with more than enough friends among our other classmates. Do yourself a favor and don't count me among them."

"So what you are saying is that your feelings toward me are neutral."

"Affirmative."

"Oh. Then there is still hope."

"Hope? Hope for what?"

"That we'll _become_ friends in the future."

Mana was tired and didn't feel up to expending the energy required to argue with Kaede.

"You're impossible," said Mana as she turned her back on Kaede once more.

"_Nin-nin_," said Kaede with a grin. Doing the impossible was a ninja's trademark so Kaede took Mana's words as more of a compliment than anything else.

Kaede crouched and lay in her sleeping bag, folding her arms behind her head. She wanted to ask Mana why, for girls who were not friends, they addressed each other by their first names sans honorifics. She chose to suppress the question, fearing that Mana might counter it by declaring that they should put an end to that and begin addressing each other by their last names from now on. Kaede saw no point in taking the risk of moving a step backward in their relationship.

"May I ask my good non-friend Mana why she left the comfort of her dorm this evening?" asked Kaede.

Mana had not yet fallen asleep and she supposed that Kaede was entitled to at least that much information for allowing her to stay in her tent.

"I'll tell you," said Mana, "but just so we're on the same page, this is not a friendly conversation."

"Naturally," said Kaede.

"Sakurazaki brought over that Baka Leader of yours Ayase to spend the night."

"_Ahhhhhhh_. I think I can guess what happened." Kaede blushed slightly and grinned as her theory made her see Mana in a new light. "You could tell that they wanted some time alone and you decided to accommodate them by coming here to sleep. I would never have guessed that you had a sentimental side. Mana Tatsumiya: a romantic at heart."

Mana rolled over and faced Kaede once again.

"Don't make me laugh," scoffed Mana. "I do _not_ have a sentimental side. I have a hand grenade where my heart used to be. And for your information, when they are behind closed doors, Sakurazaki and Ayase are no more a couple than you and I."

"_Ooh_," cooed Kaede under her breath.

"Sakurazaki has no feelings for anyone except for Konoe," said Mana, "regardless of whatever silly little squabble they may have had."

"Do you think so?"

"I don't _think_ so, I **know** so... because, unlike you, _my_ eyes are **always** wide open."

Kaede pondered Mana's painful-sounding medical condition for a moment.

"No wonder you are having trouble falling asleep," said Kaede.

"_Shut_ up," said Mana in disgust at Kaede taking her words literally. "I'm having trouble falling asleep because I'm sleeping beside the only ninja on earth who doesn't know when to be _silent_."

"Assuming that you are correct about Yue-dono and Setsuna-dono, why do you suppose they are pretending to be a couple?"

"Perhaps Sakurazaki is trying to make Konoe jealous. Who knows? I could care less about what they do."

"Ah. So you _**do**_ care."

"Eh?"

"If you could care _less_ about something, then that means that you would have to care a certain amount to begin with from which less care is taken, allowing you to care less than you did originally. The correct expression is 'I couldn't care less' which would be the same as saying that you do not care at all."

Mana considered Kaede's correction for a moment.

"I see," said Mana. "So if I were to say 'I couldn't care less about Kaede Nagase', would that be correct?"

Even in the low lighting of the tent, Mana could tell that her question caused Kaede's grin to fade away. This made Mana smirk.

"Only in the _grammatical_ sense, I would hope," said Kaede. If Kaede was indeed capable of eventually gaining Mana's friendship, it was obvious that Mana was not going to make things any easier for her.

"Right now," said Mana, "all I care about is keeping my career and making Ayase pay for the trouble she's caused me. Almost everything else is expendable. The trick is that, currently, accomplishing the latter would conflict with the former."

"Why did you refrain from making her pay in class?" Kaede found Yue's namecalling of Mana to be surprising as well as rude and would have permitted Mana a slap or two to Yue's face as retribution – but no more than the insult warranted.

"When she's fighting for herself, Sakurazaki is a formidable opponent but she can be defeated. When she fights to defend someone else, she's a lot more focused. She put herself between Ayase and me so I backed down. It was a battle that I would have ultimately won but it would have reduced the school building to a pile of rubble in the process. A seasoned soldier knows when and where to pick her skirmishes. Furthermore, Ayase informed me that she has recently acquired some property of mine; some documents. I checked Mahora's department of records where they keep hard copies and the documents in question are missing so I know that she's not making it up. My documents are forgeries but they're the best forgeries currently being made on the black market. Ayase wouldn't know what to look for to spot them as forged but if they were to be placed in the hands of someone with a more discerning eye – which is what Ayase is threatening to do with the documents – it would lead to no end of trouble for me... regardless of the verdict."

"In what way?"

"For argument's sake, let's assume that Ayase has given my documents to an underworld information broker and he was to examine them. Let's also assume that I would refuse to give in to his demands to keep him from going public with his findings. One one hand, if the documents were believed to be authentic, my age would be revealed as fifteen and my reputation in the underworld would be ruined. My word would always come into question because I had misrepresented myself to my former clients. New clients wouldn't care how good or how mature I was. They'd only see a child who might botch their important mission and they'd look to someone older than me to handle it. I'd be unhireable until my physical adulthood was more evident and even then, I have no guarantees that I'd have work waiting for me by that time. Even my old NGO, Campanulae Tetracordones, would be hesitant to take me back. On the other hand, if the documents are discovered for the forgeries that they are, I would be pestered by countless Japanese immigration bureau officials for getting around the alien registration system and I'd have to live as a fugitive for the rest of my days if I wished to remain in Japan... and I do wish to remain in Japan. I couldn't stay in one place for very long without getting caught."

"Meaning you'd have to leave Mahora."

"Precisely. I've offered Ayase money in exchange for my documents but she refuses to cooperate. She's indicated that the documents will remain in her care if I give her what she wants... but what she really wants in exchange for them is something which I simply cannot give. I'm hoping to bluff them out of her by tomorrow night but if she calls my bluff, there's nothing I can do. Handling things delicately isn't really my style so I'm unsure of how to proceed. What I do know is that what Ayase wants of me would be far more dignified than what that information broker would ask of me." Mana shuddered at the thought of being at the mercy of the balding stubby-fingered Ken Toshiro with his lazy eye and his tacky jeweled medallion that was several decades out of fashion.

"I've never known Yue-dono to be a thief or a blackmailer," said Kaede. "Have you tried simply asking her to return your documents? And saying 'please' when you ask her for them would not hurt your chances."

"Kaede," said Mana, "if you honestly think that would work, then you're an even greater fool than I believed you to be. She has **power** over me. No one voluntarily relinquishes power. It must be taken."

"I see. And so you came here tonight to ask for my help in retrieving the documents."

"Negative."

"Eh? You don't want my help?"

"Affirmative. I solve other people's problems for a living. If I can't find a solution to my own problem using my own skills, then I have no business calling myself a mercenary."

"Then why _did_ you come to _my_ tent?"

"To sleep somewhere that Ayase wasn't. For all I know, if I had slept in my own room, she might have asked me to make blueberry pancakes for her in the morning."

Kaede smiled.

"It just so happens that blueberry pancakes are a ninja's favorite food. Are yours any good?"

"Hmph. 'Good'? _My_ blueberry pancakes are _divine_."

"Do you put a lot of butter on top?"

"A sinful amount... and it's fresh from a farmer's market, purchased on the same day that it was churned."

"And do you use lots of syrup?"

"I use a multiple award-winning brand of organic maple syrup purchased from the same farmer's market where I purchase the butter and the fresh organic blueberries. I don't splurge on much but for my pancakes, I make an exception. The results speak for themselves."

Kaede wiped away a drop of drool that ran down the corner of her mouth which she had inadvertently left hanging open. She developed a fondness for pancakes during her childhood when her beloved grandmother used to make them for her regularly. She knew better than to ask Mana if it would be possible to come over for breakfast some morning. For now, she would have to be satisfied with fantasizing about them. She decided to change the subject before her stomach growled at her for teasing it.

"Why did you not sleep in your room at the Tatsumiya shrine?" asked Kaede.

"I intended to do just that when I left my room," replied Mana with a slight blush, "but I accidentally left my keychain behind and I'm locked out of both the shrine and my room."

"Why did you not knock on the door and ask Setsuna-dono to allow you to fetch your keychain?"

"I just didn't **want **to, all **right**? And as for my room at the shrine, it had slipped my mind that my parents are out of town visiting some friends so I can't get in without committing a little B and E. I can pick locks but the locks on the shrine doors have been enchanted with strong magic to prevent them from being picked; _my_ idea, wouldn't you know."

"You could have gone into town and rented a room at the Mahora hotel."

Mana let out a sigh that felt as though it drew her soul out along with it.

"Your interrogation is making that option more appealing by the second... but... to do so would cost me money that I wouldn't need to spend. You know how I hate doing that."

_So that's it_, thought Kaede. _She only came to me because she knew that I would not charge her for my hospitality._

"Aye, that I do," said Kaede. "Well... you are welcome to spend the night here with me any time you like... even if we are not friends and it would not count as a favor."

"As I suspected," said Mana. "Good night."

"Good night, Mana."

Both girls remained silent as it seemed that this was the end of their conversation.

"Mana?"

"What?" asked Mana as a four-way vein bulged on her head and her trigger finger continuously squeezed at nothing.

"I have a question for you."

Mana let out a ragged sigh.

"Regarding?" asked Mana.

"Regarding your former magister, Kouki-dono," replied Kaede.

Mana opened her eyes.

"Oh?" Mana was surprised to hear Kaede mention Kouki.

"Yes, I feel that I should ask you this question now. Otherwise, I may forget it later. It has been gnawing at me ever since you showed me that photo in your locket. The name 'Kouki T.' is written on it... but what does the T stand for?"

Mana rolled over to face Kaede.

"Are you serious?"

"Indeed I am."

"You mean you really don't know?"

"No, I don't."

"I could have sworn that Kouki's last name was something that everyone had figured out on their own."

"I had no idea that it was common knowledge but since we are not friends – as you have pointed out to me – we don't get to chat very often. I dislike being left out of the loop... so if you wouldn't mind telling me..."

"The T stands for Tatsumiya, you nin-nincompoop."

"Oh, my! _Ha ha ha!_ How embarrassing!" Kaede rested the heel of her palm against her brow as she laughed. "The answer was right in front of my face all along and I didn't see it! Ha ha ha ha! Baka Blue strikes again. So that would mean that your parents at the Tatsumiya Shrine..."

"...are Kouki's biological parents in addition to being my _adoptive_ parents. Didn't my darker skin color give that away?"

"I haven't had the pleasure of being introduced to your adoptive parents so I've no idea what _their_ skin color _is_."

"You'd like them," said Mana with a grin. "Everyone who's met them likes them. When I was small and Kouki took me off the streets, he introduced them to me. I was a cheeky little imp back then and automatically suspicious of anyone who wasn't Kouki. I gave them the cold shoulder at first. But they never gave up on me. They knew the environment from whence I came and understood why I was the way that I was and gave me as much time as I needed to warm up to them gradually. Eventually, I was like one of the family and I could accept the love that they offered me. When Kouki died..."

Mana's voiced trailed off as her words sank in. Once in a blue moon, her heart would forget that her magister had passed away. Kouki Tatsumiya was such a robust and bombastic person that she had never fully come to terms with his death, even going so far as refusing to mourn his passing. When reality would seep back in, the pain of loss would return along with it. It felt like a bullet had punctured her heart and a liquid coolant was leaking into her midsection. Her face felt cold, her ears felt hot and she was trembling. Mana was upset with herself for falling prey to her lone weakness while in someone else's presence. She did not wish to share her pain with Kaede – not now, not ever. She rolled over in her sleeping bag and lay there quietly as she waited for her grief to subside.

_It's only biological_, she told herself as she recited a reliable mantra that helped her to will her tears back into her tear ducts. _A leftover survival mechanism from our prehistoric ancestors to alert caveparents of their offspring's location in the event that they're lost. Tears serve no practical purpose. The pain will pass and life goes on. _

Kaede counted the seconds of silence and went well into the double digits. Slowly, Mana was able to fend off her sorrow and return to her previous neutral emotional state.

"Mana," said Kaede.

"When... Kouki died," continued Mana, clearing her throat. "his parents adopted me officially and I took the Tatsumiya name. I agreed to it because I believed that the gesture would have made Kouki happy. The Tatsumiyas no longer have to worry about how they'll make ends meet in their old age since I'll see to it that they receive the finest health care services that money can buy. It's the least I can do to repay the kindness that their son showed me. And it was the only way I could get his name now that he had moved on from this world."

"I take it that you wished to marry him?"

"I d–"

Mana caught herself before she said anything incriminating and was surprised at herself for how easily she became ensnared within Kaede's web.

"Kaede, would you _stop_ that?" growled Mana. "I know what you're trying to do and it won't work so don't bother!"

"What is it that you think I'm trying to do?"

"You're using the power of girl talk to get me to open up so that we'll grow close enough to where I'll think of you as a friend. And you're using the memory of my late magister to do it, no less! I told you that my feelings toward you are neutral and I **meant** it. Would you want to tip the scales toward the negative side?"

"N-Not at all."

"Then leave well enough alone and let the dead rest in peace."

"Please forgive me, Mana. I meant no disrespect."

Mana's features softened as she saw that the humble Kaede was indeed repentant.

"Forget it," said Mana. "Just go to sleep."

"It's just as well that I get some rest. I must wake up earlier than usual tomorrow morning. It's the first day of my new job as Konoka-dono's bodyguard."

"Bodyguard? Did Sakurazaki get fired somehow?"

"No, she resigned. Did she not tell you?"

"No, she didn't."

"Oh."

"Working for the Konoe family is a cushy gig." Mana grinned at Kaede and lay on her belly atop the sleeping bag, swinging her legs. "I wouldn't mind one bit having _that_ kind of job security. How much is the headmaster paying you?"

_She pushes me away and then pulls me back in... and she accuses __**me**__ of being impossible?_ thought Kaede. The koga ninja turned up her nose at Mana's sudden interest in conversation now that the subject had switched to money. Kaede rolled over, turning her back on Mana.

"This sounds suspiciously like girl talk," noted Kaede, "and it was my understanding that you wanted to avoid that."

Mana flinched from Kaede uncharacteristically bringing the conversation to a halt when she seemed so eager to talk just a moment earlier.

"Oh," said Mana. "R-Right. Good night."

"Good night," said Kaede.

Kaede shifted her jaw as she recalled some wisdom that her grandparents shared with her as a child when she began her education at Mahora: some people would not accept your friendship no matter how much you wanted them to do so.

It was the only pearl of wisdom that Kaede was reluctant to accept as truth.

Until tonight.

"Kaede."

"Yes?"

"Out of all the girls in class who taunted me by calling me a bitch due to Ayase's trolling, I noticed... that... you weren't one of them. Thank you for that."

Kaede smiled widely but then quickly covered her mouth and coughed.

"Under normal circumstances," said Kaede, "I _would_ reply to you by saying 'that's what friends are for' but for _your_ benefit, Mana, I shall simply say 'you are welcome' – and then go to sleep."

Mana closed her eyes and did her best to put the uncertainty of tomorrow out of her mind long enough to let sleep overtake her.

Kaede closed her eyes and she quickly fell asleep with a confident smile on her face, happy to take her victories where she found them, however small they might be.

* * *

><p>3-A class representative Ayaka Yukihiro held her robe closed over her nightgown as she walked toward the door to her room, wondering who could be knocking on her door at this time of night. She opened it and was both surprised and overjoyed to find that it was her beloved but wobbly Negi-sensei, half asleep on his feet and wearing his cute powder blue pajamas which had a pocket in which Chamo was sleeping. Negi's hair was a little messy and his pajama top was off to his left side, showing off a generous amount of tender young skin on his trapezius region and collar bone.<p>

"May I please sleep with you tonight, Iincho-san?" muttered Negi as he bowed politely. "Asuna-san said I should."

_Asuna-san_, thought Ayaka as she steadied herself by placing her right hand against the doorway and concealed the flow of blood coming from her nostrils with her left hand. Her eyes were black and glossy and sheets of happy tears flowed down her face. _Asuna-san, you... truly are... the best friend EVER!_

"W-W-Would you mind waiting here for just one moment, Negi-sensei?"

Negi nodded and Ayaka shut the door. She flew upstairs with a speed that eclipsed her private jet. Using that same speed, she grabbed her purse and yanked her roommates Kotarō, Natsumi and Chizuru from their beds. She paintbrushed all three of them with slaps until they awoke and she then went into her purse and took out a credit card.

"Take this and get out of here," said Ayaka as she pressed the card into Natsumi's hands. "Rent a hotel suite, **buy** a hotel, buy anything you want. I **do not care what** you use it for but I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW!"

"Can we at least change first?" asked Natsumi.

"NOW MEANS NOW! GO BUY A NEW WARDROBE WHILE YOU'RE OUT!"

"Why do you-"

"_NO MORE QUESTIONS! OUT, OUT, __**OUUUUUUUUT!**_"

"You heard the lady," said Chizuru as she snatched the card from Natsumi and tucked it between her breasts.

"Hey. _I_ could have done that," said Natsumi.

"Yeah, right! Who are you trying to fool?" asked Kotarō, receiving a punch to the face from Natsumi for his question.

"And use the window to leave!" demanded Ayaka, opening it for them.

Kotarō picked up Natsumi and Chizuru in each arm and walked to the window. Chizuru turned her head to face Ayaka and gave her friend a wink and a thumbs-up. Ayaka blushed, wondering if Chizuru was able to figure out what she was up to. Kotarō leapt from the window to the rooftop of the buildings opposite the dorm and the trio disappeared into the night.

Ayaka quickly flew back to the front door and opened it. The drowsy Negi was leaning against the opposite side of the door and when it opened, he slid into Ayaka's arms. Ayaka caught him and she lifted her dozy prince off the ground. Dozens upon dozens of flowers bloomed around them and Ayaka smiled as she resisted the urge to dance with Negi in her arms.

"Thank you for waiting, Negi-sensei," said Ayaka. "Now what was it that you wanted to do tonight? And please say it slowly this time. A-And whisper it into my ear, too."

In Negi's sleep-deprived state of mind, he couldn't be sure why Ayaka asked this of him but he saw no harm in it and so he did as she asked.

"_I want to sleep with you, Iincho-san,_" he whispered into her left ear.

Ayaka closed her eyes and trembled with delight at the sinful yet delicious words that entered her ear. The only thing ruining the moment was that, at that moment, Ayaka had caught a whiff of Negi's body odor. She tried her best to ignore it but it was one aspect of her darling teacher that she had trouble accepting.

"V-Very well, Negi-sensei," said Ayaka in a shaky voice. "You may share my bed... but first w-w-w-we'll have to b-b-b-b-b..."

The solution was easy to see but difficult to say.

"Mm?"

"We'll have to b-b-b-b-b..."

"We'll have to what?"

"We'll have to b-b-b-b-b-_bathe you first._"

_Eeee! I said it!_ thought Ayaka.

"Oh," said Negi. "Okay. I don't mind."

Ayaka turned her head and fired several gallons worth of blood against her door.

_Must… not… pass out_, thought Ayaka as she shut the door with her foot and carried Negi up the steps.

"Asuna-san and Kaede-san have both bathed with me before so it's no big deal," mumbled Negi.

"I see," said Ayaka. "Wait... did you say that _Nagase-san_ has bathed with you before?"

"Uh-huh."

"In a tub for two?"

"Uh-uh."

"Oh. Whew."

"It was in an oil drum with heated water."

"Kh!"

"It was way smaller than a tub. Hardly any room. Her naked chest was pressed against the back of my head as I sat between her legs. Sure was weird but she insisted on coming in with me."

Ayaka gnashed her teeth, furious at her classmate for taking advantage of Negi's innocence and doing something so lewd. Ayaka knew that Asuna had no deep feelings for Negi so the thought of them bathing together did not concern Ayaka. Kaede's intentions were unknown and this inappropriate bath they shared was absolutely unacceptable.

_How dare she bathe with Negi-sensei in an oil drum? I should have been the one to…_

Ayaka's mind suddenly went blank. She swallowed once and she trembled once again but for a different reason.

Once Ayaka had carried Negi through the bathroom door, she set him on his feet, patted him on the head and walked back through the door.

"I'm going to pass on joining you in that bath, Negi-sensei. When you're finished, please help yourself to my bed. It's large and soft and I'm sure you'll enjoy having it all to yourself."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I'll be out here… sleeping on the couch. Good night, Negi-sensei."

Negi was about to say that she needn't go so far as to sleep somewhere else but Ayaka shut the door behind her.

Ayaka held her chin as she became lost in contemplation. Her heart was beating a little faster than normal as a troubling thought had occurred to her.

_Could it be that Asuna-san is right about me?_ she wondered. _Could I actually be… a shotacon?_

* * *

><p><em>Yue found herself walking along the water's edge on an unfamiliar beach. The sun was about to set and the clouds that had playfully gathered around it were bathed in beautiful pink and purple hues. Yue felt that she was supposed to meet someone here for some reason but she couldn't remember who or why. What she did know was that this was a dream. <em>

_She spotted someone off in the distance walking toward her at a slow but steady pace and as he or she came closer, she noticed that the person was wearing a blue cloak and was about the same height as herself. The cloaked figure was wearing an impractically large hood which concealed most of his or her facial features._

"_That's close enough," said Yue with a tone of warning as the visitor was about two meters away._

"_Hello to you, too, Yue," said a girl's voice which came from the visitor's hood. The mysterious girl brought her hands to her hood and slowly lowered it to her shoulders, revealing her grinning face. It was a face that Yue recognized instantly; it was her own. The lookalike's hairstyle was identical to Yue's with one exception: this girl's hair was blue._

"_I know what you are," said Yue._

"_**Do**__ you, now?" said the lookalike._

"_You're a doppelgānger. A bearer of bad tidings; perceived as an ill omen in every civilized country on earth... and considered one of the most predictable and tired tropes in movie and television history."_

"_You mean like losing your memory?" asked the doppelgānger._

_Yue was utterly dumbstruck from being hit by the Comeback Line From Hell. Her face quickly turned red; partly out of anger but mostly from embarrassment._

"_FFFuck you," was all that Yue could fire back with as she narrowed her eyes at her visitor who was laughing at the feeble counter._

"_Wait a minute," said the doppelgānger. "Don't I have to look just like you to qualify as your doppelgānger?"_

_Yue raised an eyebrow at her doppelgānger's question._

"_You __**do**__ look just like me," said Yue._

"_I do?" asked the doppelgānger._

"_With the exception of your blue hair, yes, you do. How could you not know that?"_

"_Give me a break; how many mirrors do you see around here?" The lookalike held a blue braid in her hand and examined it. "How about that? I look just like you." The doppelgānger closed her eyes and smiled. "That makes me happy."_

"_If you're my doppelgānger, then you must know everything that I know."_

"_Oh, I know __**some**__ things that you don't know. For example, did you know that you don't dream in color? This isn't blue hair."_

"_I heard something about that once but I came to the conclusion that it was stupid. I know that I dream in color. I'm doing it right now. I know what blue is and your cloak and hair are both definitely blue."_

"_Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_For proving my point. Color comes in through the eye when you look at something that absorbs all colors of visible light except for one – and that one color is processed and identified by the brain. What you're seeing here and now is, like you said, what you __**know**__ to be blue. Your eyes are closed and you're not seeing anything at all. You're dreaming of the concept of blue, so to speak. Without light and an open pair of eyes that work, there is no such thing as color. So unless you can convince me that you've got little lights implanted in your brain that can shine on your thoughts and dreams, I rest my case."_

"_Huh. I never thought of it that way. So maybe I don't dream in the scientific definition of color... but the way I see it, it's six of one and a half dozen of the other... and there's no way that you can convince me that that sunset is in black and white or shades of gray."_

"_Ha ha ha, I wouldn't 'dream' of it. I guess I brought that whole thing up because I wanted to show you that what you see isn't always what really is. And why are you accusing me of being a doppelgānger, anyway? That's not very nice. I never said that I was one. You just automatically assumed that's what I was based on nothing but our similar faces. That's facial profiling, you know."_

_Yue didn't acknowledge her double's horrible pun, much to its chagrin._

"_Right," said the double. "Anyway, as for who I am... since we have the same face and my hair is blue, why not call me... Blue Yue?"_

"_All right, 'Blue Yue', if you're not my doppelgānger, then who or what are you?"_

"_Do you remember when you wished that your brain would give you the answer sheet to the pop quizzes before your heart gave them to you?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Well, your wish has been granted. See? I'm bringing good tidings! So much for your doppelgānger theory."_

"_No offense but you're not exactly filling me with confidence. You seem a little out of touch with reality."_

"_Ha ha, yeah, sorry about that. It's just temporary. It'll pass."_

"_So impress me. Tell me something that my heart doesn't know."_

"_Here it is. Are you ready? Okay. You... are a big dummy."_

"_That's it? That's what you came to tell me? Why am I a dummy?"_

"_I didn't say that you were a dummy. I said that you were a __**big**__ dummy."_

"_I'm not a big dummy."_

"_Yes, you are... and I'll tell you why. It's because all of the studying you do and magic spells that you learn will never wash out the Baka Black that's in you. Wow, you know magic? That's so cool!"_

"_I was going to tell you that I think that you're weird but I shouldn't expect too much from a dream."_

"_I'm not as weird as you think. It just seems that way because my thought process is still getting accustomed to your thought process. Anyway, let me ask you a question: how many times have you teased your friend Haruna about something?"_

_The change of subject made Yue suspect that something was brewing._

"_What does that have to do with me being a big dummy?"_

"_You'll see. Answer the question."_

"_If you're reading my thoughts, you should know the answer already."_

"_Humor me, then."_

"_All right. I've teased Haruna maybeeeee... once? I made fun of her jiggly ass when shit got real in the auditorium. She's practically shameless so opportunities to tease her are few and far between. Her shamelessness is one of her most annoying characteristics, now that I think about it. Well, that and those damned boobs-to-the-face smother hugs she gives me."_

"_And Nodoka? How many times have you teased her?"_

"_Seldom. What's your point?"_

"_I'm getting to that. How many times have you teased... Setsuna?"_

"_Oh, geez, in the last few days, I've teased her a bunch of times."_

"_And why do you suppose that is?"_

"_Because it's fun to tease her. She gets so flustered and she freaks out like a startled chicken." Yue quickly covered her mouth with her right hand from the embarrassment she felt by her choice of words; words which Setsuna would have found offensive. "Oops... I'd better watch that."_

"_Do you have any theories as to why you haven't teased Nodoka or Haruna as much as you've teased Setsuna?"_

"_Ummmm... No."_

"_**I**__ have one. __**I**__ think it's because... you __**like**__ Setsuna."_

_Yue folded her arms and closed her eyes._

"_I had a feeling that you might say that," said Yue._

"_I can't tell whether or not you've fallen in love with her," said Blue Yue, "but you're definitely attracted to her... as in how a boy likes a girl... or in this case, how a girl who likes girls likes another girl... who also happens to like girls."_

_Yue was slow to respond to Blue Yue's theory._

"_Is this where I'm supposed to say something like 'No, you're wrong, I don't feel that way at all'?" asked Yue. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you..." Yue opened one eye and peered at Blue Yue. "... but your theory is correct."_

"_Oh!" beamed Blue Yue as a heart shape appeared in her open smiling mouth. "To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to admit it."_

"_I figure if I can't admit it to myself... my other self, that is... then who else is there? And don't smile with your mouth wide open. You look like Sakurako-san when you do that."_

_Yue started to walk along the shore and Blue Yue followed her, lifting the hem of her cloak so that it wouldn't get wet. Sea foam crashed about the ankles of both girls as Yue searched for a place to sit down and collect her thoughts. She settled on a patch of rocks and gazed at the setting sun as she took a seat. Blue Yue sat on a rock opposite Yue rather than beside her and allowed her to take her time and speak when she was ready._

"_I don't know exactly when it happened but... it did," said Yue. "Back during the Kyoto trip when Haruna first posited that Setsuna and Konoka were lovers, I didn't put much stock in it. My conclusion was that they were just very close friends and that was all. When I learned that Setsuna had devoted eight years of her life to learn how to protect Konoka, I developed a lot of respect for her since I doubted that I could ever put that much effort into something or someone. As time went on, I bought into the whole yuri vibe that others saw. I could see it in the way that they looked at one another that there was something special there; something beyond simple friendship... even though Setsuna was living in denial. Konoka's always been an affectionate girl and it wasn't hard to believe that she would entertain the idea of being in a girl/girl relationship... and if Setsuna swung that way, all the better... but whatever their relationship might have been was none of my business since it didn't directly involve me. But when I found Setsuna crying in the restroom all alone, it seriously melted my heart. She had just been betrayed by our best friend and since I was sort of in the same boat, it was easy to sympathize with her. She makes me feel like I want to hold her and protect her... while at the same time, I want to be protected by her. It's kind of complicated."_

"_Sounds like it."_

"_Then there was that blood curse attack she had recently in Asakura-san's room where she got aroused from having her nipples stimulated and she transferred what she was feeling to me. Yikes. We almost went all the way."_

"_Is that regret or relief?"_

"_Would you believe me if I said a little of both? If I was on the fence before, that little encounter we had removed all doubt. Maybe it's Florence Nightingale syndrome or maybe it's admiration paired with raging hormones but... yeah... I'm carrying a torch for her. She's honorable, respectful, courageous, a strong fighter, she's got that yamato nadeshiko thing going on and she's got those beautiful snow white wings." Yue closed her eyes as she lifted her head and grinned as she held herself. "Crow demon heritage or not, I can only see Setsuna as an angel. Last night, I went to sleep imagining what it must feel like to be carried in her arms while she's flying across a moonlit night... and it put me right out."_

_Yue opened her eyes and looked rather annoyed._

"_But do I get to see __**her**__ in a romantic dream since she was fresh in my memory?" she asked rhetorically. "Noooooooooo. I get to meet __**myself**__. Geez. Freud would have a field day analyzing __**me**__ on a couch. Still, my dreams are the only place where I can meet a Setsuna just for me. The real Setsuna loves Konoka, period. Even you must know that."_

"_Yes, well, I admit that that does seem to be the case right now," said Blue Yue. "But things change, Yue. And changes can occur on their own... __**or**__... you can help them along."_

_Blue Yue stopped talking. Yue waited for her to continue but the cloaked girl did not say anything._

"_You're going to make me ask you what you meant by that, aren't you?" asked Yue._

"_Awww! Come on. Throw me a bone. Please?"_

_Yue sighed._

"_Fiiine," said Yue. "What do you mean by that?"_

"_I'm glad you asked," said Blue Yue. "You might think that wooing Setsuna away from Konoka permanently is beyond your ability to accomplish... but I'm here to tell you that it isn't. Here's how I see it going down: you're going to use your brilliant mind to come up with a way that appears to be an honest effort to reconcile Setsuna and Konoka... but what it's really designed to do is push them farther apart. When the ax falls, Konoka and Setsuna will want nothing to do with each other and you'll be there to console Setsuna. In time, she'll see you as more than just a friend."_

"_No way. She trusts me to act in her best interests. I would never betray that trust. To do something like that to her would be–"_

"_Unethical? Self-serving? You mean like how you advised Negi-sensei not to give Nodoka an answer to her confession until graduation?"_

"_I was hoping you wouldn't know about that. If you can read my mind, you should know that I didn't like myself when I betrayed Nodoka – and that I'd flat out hate myself if I did it again."_

"_You eventually forgave yourself for what you did to Nodoka, didn't you? It's in your nature to take an interest in love where someone has already shone a light on it prior to your discovery of it. You're cautious when it comes to seeking love. Probably because mom and dad never gave you the love you wanted."_

"_Hey! Don't say 'mom and dad' as if they're __**your**__ parents."_

"_Sorry. But seriously, __**your**__ mom and dad sucked as parents... or am I wrong?"_

_Yue hung her head and looked at the sandy ground below her dangling feet._

"_It doesn't matter," said Yue. "Bad or good, I would have given anything to have had them around while I was growing up."_

"_Ultimately, it worked out to your benefit. If they had been loving and clingy instead of cold and distant, you wouldn't have the freedom to follow your heart and go study abroad in the Magical World like you're planning on doing. When was the last time either of your parents called you to see if you were even alive?"_

"_Two years, ten months and five days ago."_

"_Almost three years. Damn. With that kind of emotional disconnection, I'm surprised that they actually bother to deposit money into your bank account every week."_

"_Oh, they wouldn't forget __**that**__. It's the only thing that alleviates the guilt of their combined parental indifference."_

"_More like parental incompetence. They even sucked as a married couple. I mean, come on... getting divorced and pawning you off on your grandfather before you were out of diapers? That's just lame. They could have at least __**pretended**__ to fight for custody of you, if only for appearance's sake. And when you were mature enough to candidly discuss adult matters, they wouldn't even give you specific reasons as to why they separated. If it wasn't for your grandfather, you'd have no concept of love at all. You were better off being raised by him."_

"_That's right. I __**was**__ better off being raised by him. He taught me everything I know about love by showing me love, everything I know about honor by honoring me and everything I know about doing the right thing by always doing the right thing by me." Yue pointed at Blue Yue. "...and he would __**never**__ forgive me if I sabotaged Setsuna's chance to reunite with Konoka. To do what you're suggesting would be like spitting on his memory and I've already done that once when I betrayed Nodoka's friendship. I may be Baka Black but I can assure you that the lesson I've learned the hard way has stuck. Anyway, you've forgotten one very important detail in your sales pitch. Setsuna has no interest in seeking out a cure for her condition or even accepting a cure as long as Konoka and Haruna are together. So even if she does see me as more than a friend, unless the blood curse is lifted, Setsuna will lose her sanity. I'd rather she live and love someone else than wither away. Not only is Setsuna willing to die for Konoka, she doesn't want to live without her." Yue's lips trembled as her eyes grew glossy with tears. "D-Do you have any idea what something that incredibly romantic __**does**__ to me? It's the stuff that fairy tale romances are made of! I thought that kind of passion and unwavering devotion only existed in children's storybooks. All my life, I've longed for a prince to sweep me off my feet and marry me and love me so that we could live happily ever after... but it never happened because there were no such princes in real life."_

"_You were just a child when you had those fantasies. You were hardly a candidate for marriage."_

"_I __**know**__ that __**now!**__ But back __**then**__, those storybooks left a lasting impression on me." Yue rubbed her eyes free of tears. "What kind of kooky junior high girl belongs to a children's lit club of all things? When you're little, the concept of a handsome husband and living a life of luxury in an enchanted castle is fascinating."_

"_Oh?"_

"_Mm-hm. I latched on to that fantasy because it was better than my reality. Even now, I can curl up in a big comfy couch with a book of fairy tales that I've never read before and I can lose myself in those wondrous pages. Dragons, castles, magic spells, kitsunes, adventure, romance... I love it all. I never completely gave up hope that fantasies could come true... until real life came crashing through my door when my grandfather died. I was devastated. I lost the only person who loved me unconditionally... and all anyone could think to do for me was to give me some stupid fucking antidepressants to take! Can medication give me a hug? Can medication sing a song with me? Tablets can't fill the void that love leaves behind when it's gone. Nothing mattered to me anymore. My grades suffered but I cared about grades less than I cared about medication. I was transferred to Mahora where it was believed that I could deal with my grandfather's loss at my own pace. I met Nodoka there along with Konoka and Haruna and with their friendship, I was able to look life in the eye once again. My grades still sucked but I was in an elevator school so it was as ideal of an environment as I could hope to have. I loved my new friends and the library there was larger than most malls. Things weren't perfect but they weren't bad, either. But then along came Negi-sensei and just like __**that**__..." Yue snapped her fingers at the same time that she said the word 'that'. "...my world was turned not upside down but right side up! Magic... __**real magic... actually existed!**__ How could I pass up an opportunity to learn everything that I could about it? And to top it all off, I've found that the kind of love that I've only read about actually exists, too! Not just the feelings I had for Negi-sensei but the feelings that Setsuna and Konoka have for one another. In this case, the handsome prince is a girl but as Nodoka helped me to discover, that really doesn't bother me. Oh, wow."_

"_What is it?" asked Blue Yue._

"_It just hit me. Nodoka is all alone in her room right now. She's not used to that. I hope she'll be okay."_

* * *

><p>Nodoka stared at the ceiling as she lay in bed. Her closest friends and roommates were gone, off sleeping somewhere else. Had they both returned to this room, Yue and Haruna would only be at each other's throats and Nodoka wanted that even less than she wanted to sleep alone. She missed their presence terribly and she wished that she could think of a plan to bring the Library Exploration Club back together. It is said that every cloud has its silver lining. Nodoka was having a long sleepless night trying to find anything on her cloud except silence and solitude.<p>

Suddenly, there it was.

The silver lining.

Nodoka's eyes grew wide with joy. She quickly sat up and smiled.

"_Oh... my... God_," she said, trembling with anticipation. "I can _finally_ jill off in my own bed!"

* * *

><p>"<em>I, Yue Ayase, find myself in the classic role of the fairy godmother in a real life romantic story where I have the chance to reunite the handsome knight and the beautiful princess. I couldn't betray her feelings for my benefit even if I wanted to."<em>

"_**Do**__ you want to?" asked Blue Yue._

"_Not exactly," replied Yue. "I'm in love with true love itself, even if that love isn't meant for me. It's what helps me deal with the thought of Negi-sensei possibly choosing Nodoka or someone else over me. Just to bear witness to a love strong enough to move mountains would make me happier than I have a right to be."_

"_And Haruna's love for Konoka doesn't strike you as being that kind of love?"_

"_Ugh. I'm at odds with myself for taking steps that will ruin the happiness that Haruna's found in Konoka but she's taken something that doesn't belong to her and she doesn't fit any role in this story except for that of the wicked sorceress. She __**has**__ to know that she's the antagonist here. Konoka is the fair princess, Setsuna is the cursed knight and I'm the fairy godmother. Setsuna can not and must not return my feelings... but I'm okay with that. She doesn't have to return my feelings for me to be happy. I felt that I could tease her as much as I wanted about our sexuality because I knew that she would never take me seriously – even though a part of me wouldn't have minded that. All the sparring and playfights that I've initiated are just substitutes for the affection that I __**dare**__ not pursue. You know something? You were wrong about your earlier assessment. I __**do**__ think that I could pull it off... and that's precisely why I'm so scared to try. I want to see this real life fairy tale play out to its conclusion the way it's supposed to... but this isn't a storybook. I can't get to the happy ending just by turning pages and I certainly can't accomplish it through sabotage. I'll find __**my**__ true love __**some**__ day... and I refuse to allow that goal to conflict with my desire to help Setsuna win back __**her**__ true love. I think we're done here. I've said everything that I want to say."_

_Yue lay back against the rock and closed her eyes. She might have been able to fall asleep here – if she wasn't already sleeping in real life._

"_How old was your granfather when he passed away?" asked Blue Yue._

"_Eh?" Yue sat up once more. "Oh, umm... eighty-seven. Why do you ask?"_

"_That's a lot longer than most people live these days – and he had a happy life, too. And it was made even happier because he had a loved one in it: you. Before he left for the next world, didn't he tell you that he didn't want you to be sad for him? And that he wished for a happy life for you in the future? Life is for the living. What better way to grant his last wish than to add that special someone to your life when fate has all but giftwrapped Setsuna for you? I mean, just think of how the princess Konoka has screwed over her knight! Do you honestly believe that your betrayal of Nodoka's friendship puts you on the same level as Konoka?"_

"_Not really, no."_

"_Of course it doesn't! Setsuna may refuse to admit it but she deserves someone who'll treat her better than that! That person could be you. I think that one of the reasons you're afraid of trying is that you think you're not good enough. You are a wonderful human being, Yue Ayase. You see yourself as a fairy godmother in this situation but I think you're just as much of a fairy tale princess as Konoka – and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a neighbor, a friend, a relative, a classmate, a girlfriend or... dare I say it, a wife. You've been the kind of person that you would want to meet. So you might have fallen from grace in the past. The people you've wronged will forgive you because they love you. You enrich the lives of everyone around you. If nothing else goes your way, let these words keep you warm when your heart is in a cold place. You deserve happiness no matter what horrible thing you may have done. You need to learn that it's enough to be able to forgive yourself and to help yourself to happiness when it's presented to you. Setsuna can make you happy."_

"_But __**I**__ can't make __**her**__ happy! Not the way that Konoka can, anyway. That's another reason why I don't dare try what you're suggesting. What if she and I hit it off and then one day I catch her looking over her shoulder at Konoka? And what if I see a hint of regret in her eye? That would kill me. If I can't give her the same level of happiness as Konoka, then I could never be happy with myself for having used shady tactics to put her true love out of her reach. Emily is the one that awakened the bisexual in me. I'll be more than happy to pursue her. And Negi-sensei's not entirely off the table, either."_

"_But Emily's waaaaaay over in Mundus Magicus... and Setsuna's right here, right now. If you can pull this off... and I know you can... Setsuna would be by your side for the rest of your lives. And you don't even know if Emily __**likes**__ girls. As for Negi-sensei, he's walking down a path that is so far above you that you should be embarrassed to even say that you want to walk beside him. And do I even have to bring up the competition for his heart? There are A-list movie stars who don't have as many women chasing after them as Negi-sensei does!"_

"_Huh. Well, I can't argue with you there."_

"_Remember when Setsuna said that she could be attracted to a special friend in every way regardless of their gender?" Yue nodded in reply. "Don't you think it was a little too convenient how clearly she telegraphed those parameters? As though it was said for your benefit? I think that it was a veiled hint that you could be a friend like that to her. You're already on the right path. She's done everything but beg you to ravish her."_

"_Don't you think that's reaching a bit?"_

"_Ha-ha! You've got me there! I was going for broke. I thought I'd take a chance and it backfired on me. You need to take more chances, too, Yue. I want to see you happy and it's not a crime to be opportunistic. It's time for me to go. It was an honor and a pleasure to talk with myself, so to speak. I'll leave you to dream about your teeth falling out or going to school naked or whatever it is you normally dream about when you're not entertaining guests in your head. I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines. Farewell."_

_Blue Yue rose from her rock and walked back up the beach in the direction from whence she came._

"_Hey," said Yue._

"_Hm?"_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I told you. I'm Blue Yue."_

"_Don't give me that. My dreams aren't usually this introspective. You're too eloquent to be a part of my subconscious... plus you seem to have a vested interest in my happiness. You're obviously not a doppelgānger... so who __**are**__ you, really?"_

_Yue had a theory as to who Blue Yue really was and she hoped against hope that she was right. Her heart pounded in her chest as she awaited her answer._

"_If you __**must**__ know..." said Blue Yue._

_A large shimmering golden mist engulfed Blue Yue and it flew off across the water into the sun which had yet to disappear behind the horizon. The sun rose above the water and shone with brilliant radiance. Yue shielded her eyes from the light with her hand. Positioned in the center of the sun was a large black totem that resembled a three-legged crow._

"_**I am Yatagarasu**__," said a deep booming voice which came from the symbol._

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" squealed Yue as she gleefully hopped up and down with unbridled happiness, her guess right on the money. Yatagarasu's presence in her dream certainly meant that, with his divine guidance, all would be well. _

_Without warning, Yatagarasu vanished in the blink of an eye, the sun returned to its spot on the horizon and Blue Yue stood where she was standing earlier. It was as though nothing had happened at all._

"_... is what you'd like to hear me to say," said Blue Yue with a grin._

_Yue's wide circular eyes, which were shedding tears of joy a moment ago, were now shedding tears of disappointment. She emitted a weak sustained whimper of sorrow at her dream being dashed to pieces._

"_I told you that you were a big dummy," said Blue Yue. _

"_Oh, you... __**ASSHOLE!**__" yelled Yue angrily._

* * *

><p><em>(The bad news is that this chapter ran a little short. The good news is that I have enough material to post the 19th chapter in under two weeks! Once again, I love your reviews so keep sending them my way if you want to make a fanfic writer happy.)<em>


	19. Hazed and Confused

Konoka woke up feeling fairly refreshed despite her distressing encounter with Luna hours earlier. When Konoka was much younger, she would pretend that she was a mythical phoenix during the day and turned to ash every night as she fell asleep – only to be reborn in a fiery blaze the following morning. That fantasy was never further from the truth than now. She was still the same girl that she was last night with the same whale-sized skeleton in her closet. That being the case, dwelling on the fresh start that she couldn't have was useless and, after turning on her nightstand lamp, she slowly rose from her bed to begin her daily routine of making breakfast for Asuna who was still fast asleep.

As Konoka slid her feet into her slippers and took her first few steps, something about the room seemed off to her. She couldn't put her finger on it until she noticed Haruna's luggage lying beside the couch.

_Oh, that's right_, thought Konoka. _Haruna had to move out of her room and she slept here last night._

Konoka turned to look back at her bed and saw that Haruna was not in it. Turning to her right, she stood on her toes to see if Haruna had relocated to Negi's bed during the night; she wasn't there, either. Since Haruna certainly wouldn't have snuck into Asuna's bed under any circumstances, Konoka didn't bother checking the top bunk.

_Is she in the bathroom?_ wondered Konoka.

Just then, Konoka heard the front door's knob turn and she assumed that it was Negi and Chamo returning from their exile to bathe and prepare for their day. Konoka blushed, hoping that Chamo had taken Asuna's threat seriously and hadn't told Negi what he had overheard her say. As near and dear to her heart as Negi was, discussing her love life with him would not be comfortable and while he certainly had the right to know, she wasn't sure how to answer him when he would ask, if she was indeed bisexual, she wasn't Setsuna's girlfriend. Negi was still naive, despite his crash course at the Mundus Magicus school of hard knocks; it was exactly the kind of question he would ask if he was open to discussing the subject at all.

For the first time since Negi had moved in with Asuna and herself, Konoka wished that he and Chamo didn't live in this room – and she had mixed feelings about how she could wish for such a thing.

The door opened and in walked Haruna, fully dressed in her Mahora sweats. Judging by the coffee carry tray she held in her hands, Haruna had apparently snuck out of the dorm to visit the twenty four hour Starbooks in town.

"Ah, you're up," said Haruna in a cheerful tone.

"_Shhhhhhhhh," _whispered Konoka as she placed a finger to her lips._ "Asuna's still sleeping._" By Konoka's guess, there were about forty five minutes left before Asuna's alarm clock went off.

"Sorry," said Haruna in a lower voice.

"How did you get back in here after you left? Did you leave the door unlocked while you were out?" Konoka's voice took on a very uncharacteristic persecutive tone. "Or did you just pick the lock again?"

Haruna gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head slowly.

"Still holding that over my head, are you?" she asked. "I didn't do either. I just borrowed your keys." Haruna held Konoka's keychain out and Konoka reflexively held out her hand and tok them from her. "I'm happy to see you, too, by the way." As Haruna turned to place her tray down on the kitchen counter, Konoka looked at her keychain and then looked at Haruna disapprovingly.

"You **borrowed** my **keys** without my **permission**?" asked Konoka, sounding less than cheerful.

_Ugh_, thought Haruna. _She's in a mood._

Haruna stopped halfway to the kitchen, turned around slowly with her tray and returned to Konoka.

"Baby," said Haruna, trying her best to mask her patronizing tone. "Let's put this in perspective, all right? These are _keys_ we're talking about. Not your credit card, not your pactio card... keys. Why would you want me to wake you for permission to borrow something that you couldn't possibly use while you were asleep?"

"That's beside the point," said Konoka, checking herself to keep her volume low. "These are mine and you borrowed them without asking first. We're supposed to be able to trust each other and helping yourself to my belongings is not the way to build that trust." Konoka folded her arms as she continued her lecture. "And what if Asuna had been awake when you came in? I'm trying to show her every positive trait you have so that she'll be more accepting of you as my girlfriend. How do you think she'd react if she sees you coming and going through her room as you please like you owned the place?"

Haruna held onto her tray with her left hand while sliding her right hand under her bangs to rub her forehead.

_I'd bet that a guy would __**absolutely not give a shit**__ about his keys being borrowed by his beautiful girlfriend for a few measly minutes_, thought Haruna. _Still, I do love this girl so I'd better not escalate. Time for plan B._

Haruna popped the lid off of one of the cups from her tray, lifted it out and waved it from side to side under Konoka's nose.

"I can see that I've made you mad," said Haruna, "but I happen to have a venti caramel macchiato with a shot of vanilla syrup, whipped cream, dark chocolate shavings and freshly ground cinnamon sprinkled around the rim like a rusty halo that says you're willing to forgive me."

Konoka's eyes grew wide as her gaze landed squarely on the cup and followed its movements. The whipped cream had settled considerably from its trip to the dorm and the shavings had melted but otherwise, the drink appeared to be a match for Haruna's description. She returned her gaze to Haruna, then back to the cup and then back to Haruna.

"You re_**mem**_bered 'The Deluxe Happy Konoka In Heaven Delightful Time Kissu Kissu Rabu Rabu Special'?" asked Konoka. Haruna slid the tip of her tongue out between between her teeth and slowly nodded once in response to the question. To the best of Konoka's knowledge, she had only ordered her customized coffee in Haruna's presence once. Starbooks coffee was a treat that Konoka had never had this early in the morning and Haruna had brought her a whopping twenty ounces of it with enough scrumptious calories to last her until graduation. "A-Are you... trying to buy my forgiveness with coffee?" asked Konoka as she slowly reached out for the cup and tried her best to look offended.

Haruna sandwiched her lips between her teeth and pointed her eyes up at the ceiling.

"_Hmmmm_mmmm... I_un_no," she said as she pivoted her upper body, removing the cup from Konoka's reach. "Are you _selling_ your forgiveness in exchange for coffee?"

Konoka closed her eyes and sighed as sheets of tears ran down her face. Haruna now had the rubber stamp for printing her own Get Out Of Konoka's Doghouse Free card and would most likely use this trick again. The saddest part of it all was that it would probably work.

"You're pure evil," she muttered as she hung her coffee whore head and held out her hands to accept the cup, "but... yes, I am selling it."

Haruna closed her eyes and smiled.

"Then I'm buying it," said Haruna as she surrendered the cup to her beloved and bowed like a convenience store clerk. "Thank you for your patronage, miss. Please come again."

Konoka took a sip of her coffee and her eyes lit up, finding it to be the perfect temperature to chug the whole thing – which was exactly what she started to do as she slowly tilted the cup at a higher angle, rapidly swallowing more and more of the divine concoction with each passing second.

"Ko-no-_chan_, Ko-no-_chan_," chanted Haruna approvingly, impressed enough by Konoka's chugging attempt to root for her. "Ko-no-_chan_, Ko-no-_chan._"

Konoka finished the last drop of her drink and brought the now empty cup down. An ear-to-ear grin crept upon Konoka's face and stayed there. Tilting the cup sideways, Konoka held the rim of the now empty cup in the heel of her palm and then crushed it flat against her forehead in commemoration of a morning well started. Haruna sputtered with a burst of laughter but quickly stifled it so as not to wake Asuna.

"That was _awwwwe_some," said Haruna with a wide tooth-baring smile. She made a quick trip to the kitchen and put down her tray which contained the Starbooks drink she picked up for Asuna: hot water with a paper thin slice of lemon inside.

Such was Haruna's sense of humor.

"Hoo _hooooo_... I can't close my eyelids," said Konoka as she twirled once, "and I couldn't be happier about it!" Closing her eyes, Konoka beamed with a grin that was a sunrise unto itself. She reopened her eyes and took a moment to ogle her benefactor with bedroom eyes. When they shared Konoka's bed last night, Haruna had gone right to sleep as she was instructed to do. Unbeknownst to Haruna, Konoka was the one who had a harder time of doing without hanky panky. To be so close to her sleeping girlfriend's warm slinky body and not touch her or be touched by her made her ache with lust and it took a great deal of effort to put lewd thoughts out of her head whereas Haruna went out like a light. "Oh, baby... If Asuna wasn't here and I knew that Negi-kun and Chamo-kun wouldn't be back any minute... I would fuck you so hard right now." Konoka licked her lips seductively. To Haruna, Konoka's declaration was more comical than provocative. The chocolate-haired girl was simply too cute to pull off the foul-mouthed seductress bit.

"Now, now, my love," said Haruna. "Use that energy to go get dressed."

"Eh?" asked Konoka. "Right now? What for?"

"So we can get our jog in before homeroom, remember? A shapelier Harukono awaits us."

"Gack!" Konoka winced and cringed at the idea. "I was hoping that you would have forgotten about that."

"Uh-uh," said Haruna as she closed her eyes and shook her head sternly. "We're getting rid of the junk in both of our trunks."

"But Paru-chan... I _told_ you that I make _breakfast_ for Asuna each morning. I can't go." Konoka was hesitant to tell Haruna that she didn't want to go. She had a routine and she liked it but saying so might have set off Haruna who enjoyed shaking up the routines of others. "The muffins I made are all gone and if I leave now, Asuna will have to go to work on an empty stomach. You go on without me, okay?"

"The Great Paru-sama has thought of everything, Kono-chan," said Haruna. "Starbooks was selling these cute limited edition taiyaki so I picked up a few." Haruna produced a small white Starbooks paper bag from her jacket pocket and handed it to Konoka. "Now you won't have to cook anything and Her Royal Highness won't starve to death."

Konoka took the bag from Haruna, reached inside and removed one of the baked treats to examine it. It was as flat as a standard taiyaki and roughly the same size as a standard taiyaki but it was designed to look like a horse head or a chess knight in profile. She reached into the bag again and extracted another taiyaki which was also a horse head.

"They're cute but how are these taiyaki if they're not fish?" asked Konoka.

"They _are_ fish. They're 'horse mackerel'," said Haruna. "Get it?"

"Oh, _I_ get it! _Hihiin!_" Konoka grinned as she took two of the taiyaki and played with them by bobbing them up and down beside one another to simulate a horse race and then made them kiss each other. "_Chu!_ Are they filled with white or red bean paste?"

"Red," answered Haruna. "They didn't have white."

"Good, Asuna prefers red." Konoka returned the taiyaki to the bag and gave the bag back to Haruna. "And she's not really opposed to an on-the-run style breakfast. Well, since you went through the trouble of springing for her breakfast, I'll join you. Should we shower first?"

"There's no time, love," said Haruna, placing the bag back in her jacket pocket. "If we don't leave in, like, ten minutes, we won't get in any decent jogging time. Just throw on some sweats and sneakers so we can go before we lose our caffeine rush. You deserve a girlfriend with a lean ass and that's exactly what I'm going to give you."

"I don't _want_ a girlfriend with a lean ass," whined Konoka. "I want _you_."

Konoka covered her mouth to suppress her laughter that spawned from the irritated smirk on Haruna's face.

"Ha, ha, haaaa," said Haruna flatly as she reached out for Konoka. "You're funny. Come a little closer and let me show you how funny I think you are."

Haruna's request set off a red flag in Konoka's head. The look in Haruna's eye suggested that, even at the risk of waking Asuna, Haruna was going to tickle her or do something else equally retributive. Hiding her grin behind her fists, Konoka stopped laughing and took a step backward which prompted Haruna to take a step toward her. Spinning around, Konoka mischievously sprinted to the front door, swung it open and made a caffeine-fueled break for it down the hallway. As Konoka ran, she turned her head to look back at Haruna who, with her longer legs, was in hot pursuit and gaining ground quickly. Konoka let out a squealo and faced forward once again but just as she was about to pour on the speed, she suddenly caught a blurry glimpse of someone standing directly in front of her. Konoka squeaked as she braced herself for an impact, certain that she would collide with this person. Instead, she was caught by the shoulder and spun in place so as to use Konoka's momentum to send her back up the hall.

Konoka staggered as she brought herself to a stop and didn't see Haruna until the footfalls behind her prompted her to turn around. Haruna had also been caught and stopped by the newcomer using the same technique.

"Haruna-dono," said a familiar voice which turned out to be Kaede's. "I must ask that you refrain from chasing Konoe-dono in the halls. She could slip and suffer an injury." The ninja was dressed in her Mundus Magicus bodyguard suit.

"Kaede?" asked Haruna as she labored to catch her breath.

"Kaede-chan?" asked an equally winded Konoka as she used her hand to brush some stray strands of hair away from her face. "What are you doing out here so early in the morning? And why are you wearing your suit? I haven't seen you in that since we were in the Magical World."

"I felt that I should look as professional as possible for my first day on the job, Konoe-dono," replied Kaede with a grin.

"Oh," said Konoka. "What kind of jo– wait… did you just call me... _Konoe-dono?_" Konoka didn't want any of her beloved classmates to call her by her last name and to hear it used again so soon after Yue had used it had made Konoka fear that Yue had spread the word of her misdeed.

"Would you prefer that I address you as Ojou-"

Konoka flinched.

"_Gack!_" she blurted. "No, I would **not** prefer that in the least."

"Kaede," said Haruna. "What job requires that you look professional at this hour? Are you night security or something?"

"I am Konoe-dono's new bodyguard," replied Kaede.

Konoka's eyes grew wide. She turned to look at Haruna. Haruna looked back at her, unsure of what to think.

"Kaede," said Haruna cautiously. "Protecting Konoka is Sakurazaki's job. It has been for over a year. What happened to Sakurazaki?"

"Setsuna-dono resigned yesterday and the headmaster has selected me to take her place."

Konoka began to breathe rapidly again, almost matching the rate she achieved when she was running from Haruna. Her face was hot and her heart was doing flip-flops in her chest cavity. She trembled as a dull ache pulsed in her lower back that felt as though some intangible demon was gnawing ravenously on her spinal cord. A high pitched whimper whistled from her parted lips which were also trembling. She suddenly felt very cold and vulnerable.

Conversely, Haruna was quite happy to hear of Setsuna's resignation since it meant that Konoka could focus on their relationship. She had hoped that Kaede was going to say that Setsuna had left Mahora Academy altogether but a resignation was almost as good and the move was not altogether unexpected. A thought came to Haruna; another expected move. It was Konoka's to make and she made it; that being a frantic dash for the dorm stairwell which led to her former bodyguard's room. Haruna turned her head and saw a flash of chocolate brown hair whip through the air as it was carried off on the scalp in which it was rooted.

"Kono-chan!" shouted Haruna. "Wait!"

"I did ask you not to chase her, Haruna-dono," said Kaede as she stood in Haruna's way as she was about to chase Konoka. Haruna knew better than to get physical with a ninja and she ceased her pursuit.

"Then stop **her,** not _me_!" yelled Haruna, flailing her fists up and down for lack of the ability to sock Kaede in the jaw.

Fearing that Konoka would have an accident on her watch, Kaede acknowledged Haruna's suggestion with a nod and she vanished, reappearing a few yards in front of Konoka.

"Get out of my way, Kaede-chan!" said Konoka. "If you really are my bodyguard, I order you to let me pass!"

"I am sorry but I cannot do that, Konoe-dono," said Kaede. "I am responsible for your safety and in cases where your judgment may be impaired and your well-being may be in jeopardy, I have the authority to-"

Konoka tried to use her paltry PE basketball athletic skills to fake out and rush past Kaede but the ninja had trained for too long to be given the slip so easily and Konoka soon found herself swept off her feet and carried in Kaede's arms. Having secured her charge, Kaede walked back to Konoka's room where Haruna met her half way. Konoka was too upset by Setrsuna's resignation as well as how effortlessy she was captured to enjoy the act of being carried. She wriggled and squirmed to free herself from Kaede's grasp but to no avail.

"Please put me down, Kaede-chan!" begged Konoka. "I need to find Secchan!"

"I _shall_ put you down, Konoe-dono, provided that you make no further attempts to run away. I caught you once. If necessary, I can – and will – do so again."

Konoka pouted angrily at Kaede as she was set her back on her feet. Kaede took no notice of Konoka's scornful gaze and instead concentrated on their immediate surroundings, keeping a watchful eye out for hidden dangers.

"You need to find Setsuna?" asked Haruna, placing her hand on Konoka's shoulder and turning her around. "And do _what_, exactly? She quit, Kono-chan! What are you going to do? Rehire her against her will? The position's already been filled. Just let her be."

The last thing that Konoka wanted to hear from Haruna right now was this same old song and dance. Though it took some effort, Konoka was able to hold her anxiety and her temper in order to keep her voice down while in the hall.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnngh... Paru-chan, we've already talked about this!" scolded Konoka. "You promised me that you'd stop telling me what to do or how to feel about Secchan! Remember?"

"Of course I remember," said Haruna. "**I** was the one who **made** the promise... but that's not what I said."

Konoka's jaw dropped at Haruna's statement. It angered her and she narrowed her eyes at Haruna.

"_Yes, it was!_" squeaked Konoka.

"No, it wasn't," said Haruna. "I **said** that 'I promised to _work_ on it'."

Konoka's lower eyelids rose and fell.

"You promised to 'work on it'?" Konoka absorbed Haruna's words and matched them against what she remembered as Haruna's promise. Since it was probable that Haruna did say what she claimed she said, Konoka gave her the benefit of the doubt. "What does 'promising to work on it' even mean?"

"It means that I've given you my word that I'm in the process of making an honest effort to improve my behavior," explained Haruna. "Change doesn't happen overnight... and if I fall off the wagon along the way, I can't be faulted for doing so because I'm in the early stages of my effort. And now that you're running off and leaving me in a cloud of dust without so much as a 'see you later', I'm _jumping_ off the wagon if that's what it takes to stop you. So, yeah, you betcher sweet **ass** that I'm gonna step in and say something about this, no matter _what_ I promised."

"_That's messed up! You knew what I thought you meant when you made that promise to me!_"

"I was speaking plain Japanese when I made you that promise. How am I supposed to know what you _**thought**_ I promised? If you weren't satisfied with it, you should have said something right then and there."

"I didn't _say_ anything because I assumed that you'd stick to the **spirit** of the promise and not the carefully crafted **word** of the promise."

"So, wait, _you're_ the one who made an assumption about what I said and somehow that's _my_ fault?"

"It **is** your fault when you deliberately word a promise in such a way that it absolves you from accepting responsibility if you fall short of that promise! That's just... used car salesman... fine print... shady!"

Haruna's mouth hung open in shock.

"**Quick!** _**Somebody**_** call the Mahora Times and tell them to stop the presses!**" yelled Haruna as she threw her hands up and glared at Konoka with angry pupilless eyes. "**New front page story! Haruna Saotome is shady!**" Konoka saw tears budding in Haruna's eyes and regretted her choice of words. "You wanna call me names? How about _girlfriend_, Konoka? Remember that one?" Haruna's pain was reflected in the quiver in her voice. "You know that I'm paranoid about you running off to go be with Setsuna! First you reassure me that it won't happen and I believe you... and then what do you do? _You go and run off to be with Setsuna!_ Did it even occur to you to ask me to come along? You just said that we were supposed to trust each other! You're not only feeding my paranoia, you're justifying it! I **have** a **problem, okay? **I've acknowledged that. But how am I supposed to get better when your lack of commitment just makes me worse?"

"_I'm sorry_," said Konoka softly. "_I didn't mean-_"

One of the residents a few doors down opened up her door and stepped into the hallway. Haruna instantly caught sight of her.

"What are _you_ looking at?" asked Haruna as she sneered at the girl. "Nobody asked you to come out here. Go back inside and mind your own business before my friend over there knocks you out!"

Kaede flinched as she realized that Haruna was talking about her.

"I-I..." stammered Kaede as she held her palms out at chest level and shook her head to reassure the girl that what Haruna had said was not the truth. The girl took one look at Kaede's intimidating look and height, cowered and quickly went back in her room, closing the door behind her. Kaede hung her head and groaned softly.

"I'm sorry," said Konoka.

"It's okay," said Haruna, sniffling and wiping her nose on her jacket sleeve. "I'm better now. Yelling at that girl was kind of awesome. Anyway, would you **please** listen to me for a minute, Kono-chan? You're not approaching this logically, Kono-chan. Setsuna quit, all right? She. Quit. If anyone ever had a valid reason to quit their job, it was her. She wanted a clean break from us and she got it in the only way that was realistically available to her. And at the risk of sounding like a bitch, I think she did us a huge favor."

"It's not a favor to me," said Konoka.

"Well, I mean, come on, would you _really_ have wanted your old flame following us around whenever we went, watching our every step?"

"I already told you that Secchan is not my old flame."

"That may be true... but you haven't exactly kept her at a distance, either. And now that she's distanced herself from us, you rush off to go back to her and close the gap. Here's a question for you: how do you think it would make me feel if I wanted to give you a kiss with Setsuna standing watch just a few meters away?"

"Uncomfortable?"

"Exactly. And how would it have made _you_ feel, for that matter?"

"Really uncomfortable."

"Exactly. Now, based on that feeling and the fact that Kaede has no emotional investment in either of us kissing whoever we choose, who would make an overall preferable bodyguard?"

Konoka averted her eyes and sighed. When faced with the facts, she concluded that there really was no other answer.

"Kaede," said Konoka.

Haruna smiled.

"Looks and brains," said Haruna. "I hit the jackpot with you. What were you even planning on saying to Setsuna if Kaede hadn't stopped you? What's _**left**_ to say to her? Tell me what you would've said to her if she showed up right now."

"I'd..."

"Come on. You can tell me. I won't get mad."

"_I... I would have asked her to come back to work as my bodyguard,_" mumbled Konoka. feeling less like a girl talking to her girlfriend and more like a child negotiating with her father to buy a toy she wanted.

"What?" asked Haruna. "Speak up. I didn't hear you."

"I would have asked her to come back to work as my bodyguard," said Konoka.

Haruna made a buzzing sound to mimic the sound effect heard when a TV game show contestant gave a wrong answer. The noise startled Konoka and made her flinch.

"Kono-chan," said Haruna, "the first thing Setsuna most likely thought of when she resigned was how she was going to say no to you if you asked her to come back. _I_ wouldn't come back if I was her. And there's a good chance that Yue might have been with her when you found her... and unless I've missed my guess, you do **not** want to bump into Yue now that she's moved out of our old room."

"Yue's moved out of your old room, too?"

"Yep. Nodoka just texted me about it."

Konoka recalled wanting some measure of revenge against Yue for striking Haruna. She found it somewhat satisfying to hear that Yue was now in the same boat in which she had so callously dropped Haruna.

"Wow," said Konoka. "And right after she kicked you out, too. Where is she staying?"

"Dunno. Maybe she's crashing with Setsuna and Mana? All I know for sure is that Yue can't be a very happy camper... and yesterday _you_ actually wanted to _attack_ Yue. No offense, love, but you suck way more at fighting than I do... so if anything went down, you might have put Kaede and/or Setsuna in a position where they'd have to break up a fight. I don't want anyone harming even one hair on your chin."

Konoka's eyes shot open and grew to the size of saucers.

"_Chin?_" asked Konoka as she frantically rubbed her chin, feeling around for even the slightest hint of a thick facial hair.

"Only kidding," said Haruna, flashing a smile. "I _did_ owe you for that 'lean ass' remark you made before running out here."

Konoka closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as sheets of tears flowed down her face. Her precious femininity had not been compromised. Haruna held Konoka's jaw, gently tilted her lover's head back and placed a soft kiss on her smooth whiskerless chin. A hint of a grin danced across Konoka's features from the romantic gesture.

"Kono-chan, I'm begging you not to look this gift crow in the beak," said Haruna. "Setsuna resigning is the best thing that could have happened to us, given the circumstances. If you're worried about your safety, don't be. You told me that Kaede took down a freaking dragon in the Magical World. I highly doubt that anyone tougher than a dragon is going to mess with you any time soon. Have I convinced you that everything's still going to be okay? Or was there some... **other** reason you specifically want Setsuna as your bodyguard?"

Konoka bit her lower lip and cast her eyes downward.

"No, there isn't," replied Konoka. "You're... you're absolutely right, Paru-chan; about everything. We're better off with Kaede as my bodyguard. When I heard that Secchan quit, I lost my head. I didn't think about us. I only thought of myself. I already knew most of what you just told me. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. This really is a blessing in disguise. Thank you for talking some sense into me. I'm sorry if I hurt you with what I said and did."

"Already forgiven," said Haruna, brushing stray strands of hair from Konoka's face. "I love you, baby. Remember that. It's the reason why I do anything for us." Haruna took Konoka by the shoulder and kissed her on the forehead. "You'll be thinking of 'us' instead of just yourself before you know it."

"I'll go inside and get dressed. I'll be out in a sec."

"Sweet."

Konoka closed the door behind her and sighed once before heading to her dresser for some sweatpants and a T-shirt.

_I'm so sorry, Secchan_, thought Konoka. _I never wanted anything like this to happen. I knew that you weren't happy with me but this I did not see coming. I can't blame you for quitting. I'll never be happy with Kaede as my bodyguard... but if this is really what you want, then... I... have no right to stop you. I'm so selfish and stupid. I don't deserve to have you as my bodyguard... and yet, I'd give anything to have you back._

* * *

><p>Haruna and Kaede stood side by side leaning against the bannister opposite Konoka's door. They looked at one another and grinned politely.<p>

"Hi, Kaede," said Haruna.

"Hello, Haruna-dono," said Kaede.

"Sorry you had to be subjected to all of that."

"No harm has been done to Konoka so it's no concern of mine. I didn't overhear your conversation, anyway."

"Wait, what? How is that possible? You were standing only a few yards away from us when we were talking and there weren't any other noises out here to drown us out."

"I employed an old ninja mental technique."

"Why would you use a technique from an old ninja?"

"No, no, the technique is what is old. The ninja who invented it was a young man at the time."

"Ohhhhhh."

"It's a series of mental exercises designed to occupy one's mind. I heard the tone of your voices but no actual words."

"That sounds a little too convenient to be true."

"Do I truly strike you as an eavesdropper, Haruna-dono? Or a liar?"

"No, I suppose you don't. Wait a second. If you weren't listening to us, how do you know that we were having a conversation? Ah-_haaa_aaaa! Answer me that."

"I merely _assumed_ you were having a conversation and not performing a scene from a play. Was I mistaken?"

Haruna folded her arms and studied Kaede with a sly stare.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" she asked rhetorically, grinning as though she had tripped up Kaede.

Haruna couldn't tell – and very few could – but Kaede rolled her eyes.

Both girls returned their attention to Konoka's door. A deafening silence enveloped the hallway and Haruna became annoyed with Kaede's lack of interest in talking. They were teenage girls; it was what they were expected to do. Their visit to the Magical World brought them together but since their return, neither had made much of an effort to reach out to one another and simply talk.

"You and I don't get to chat very much, do we?" asked Haruna.

"No, we do not," replied Kaede.

"Do you mind if we talk now?"

"Not at all. I am on the job, however, so once Konoka-dono is ready, we will have to bring our conversation to a close."

"I understand."

"What would you like to discuss?"

"Hmm... Do you read any BL manga?"

"BL?"

"Boy love. You know: yaoi."

"N-No, the subject matter is not really to my liking."

"Oh. Do you read my Mahō Shōjo manga? It's the magical girl genre."

"Your... manga? Are you a manga-ka?"

Every part of Haruna's body jolted simultaneously as she successfully prevented a faceplant pratfall.

"**Yes**, I'm a manga-ka," said Haruna. "Have we really spoken so little that you didn't know that about me? My artifact's a sketchbook."

"My apologies, Haruna-dono," said Kaede. "I knew that you drew but I did not know that you were published. We walk in different circles, you and I. Hmm... so that must have been why you were offering to sign that manga you were recommending to the class; because you were the artist."

"Artist _and_ writer."

"Most impressive. How is your manga selling?"

"Eh. Not as well as I'd like. It's more of a labor of love at this point than a cash cow. But now that we've returned from our adventure in Mundus Magicus, I'm inspired to start a new story arc once the current one has been completed."

"I look forward to reading a copy."

"_Buying_ a copy."

"I look forward to _buying_ and reading a copy."

Haruna grinned. She liked Kaede's easygoing steadfast nature. She found speaking with her to be a bit like playing handball by herself. Now all Haruna needed to do was find out just how hard she could hit this ball before it showed signs of stress fractures. It was a rite of passage that she gave to each of her friends to see if they had what it took to be in her company for extended periods of time.

"Are you a lesbian?" asked Haruna.

Kaede flinched at Haruna's straightforward question.

"H-Haruna-dono, my orientation is my own business," said Kaede.

"_That's_ a yes," said Haruna with a satisfied grin and a blush.

"You are putting words in my mouth."

"No wonder you always have a contented smile when you're in the bath hall. It's got to be like a candy store to you. Ogling all of your classmates... which means that you've ogled me! Oh, how could you, Kaede? I'm so young and pure! How could you wrap me up in your lewd web of carnal desire? I can't be with you... and yet, I can't deny the flame of passion that burns within my breast whenever you undress me with those large piercing eyes of yours!"

"A-Are you making fun of me?" asked Kaede, fully aware of the fact that her eyes were far from large.

"How dare you tempt me with the promise of ecstasy only to turn me away when you see that I've been driven wild by your charms?" continued Haruna. "I refuse to have my affections toyed with in such a cavalier manner! I have my needs! Take me, you mad passionate ninja! Hide in the shadow of the flower that is my maidenhood! I ask only that you be gentle with me!" Haruna threw her arms around Kaede and began to rub her chest against Kaede's. The ninja looked to her left and to her right, grateful that no one was leaving their rooms at this hour. "Oh, Kaede, you're so forceful! Never mind the gentle treatment... this is much better! Make me feel cheap and used like... some... cheap, used thing! Oh, what's this?" Haruna looked down at the area between them and then returned her gaze to Kaede's face. "You're a futanari?! How could I have missed such a thing? Impale me upon your turgid blade, O mighty warrior! Slay me!" Haruna wrapped a leg around Kaede's hip and started to hump her.

Kaede had no idea how to react to this. There must have been a reason why she and Haruna walked in different circles.

And she had a strong suspicion that this was it.

"Yes," continued Haruna. "Oh, yes, yes, yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes... _yeeeeeeeeees!_" Haruna crossed her eyes and convulsed as she achieved a faux orgasm. Still holding onto Kaede, she lowered her leg and caught her breath. "Kaede, darling, it's been several months since we began our torrid pleasure marathon and I've yet to be late with a single period. Are you firing blanks or what? What's that? _You're_ late? You mean to say that _I've_ somehow made YOU pregnant? And you can deliver a baby through your weenie hole?" Haruna began to tremble and snort with suppressed laughter as she was quickly reaching the limit of her ability to continue. "This is joyous news! Please say that you'll marry me and th-that you'll give birth _to our b-beautiful _DICKCHILDRENPFFT-HA_**HAAAA**_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sliding down Kaede's body, Haruna crumpled into a quivering pile on the floor at Kaede's feet, too overcome with laughter to stand. Kaede kept a straight face during Haruna's monologue and that, in Haruna's opinion, was what made the whole thing even funnier. Sniffling and whimpering away the last vestiges of laughter, Haruna removed her glasses to wipe her eyes and got back to her feet.

"Are you always this silly?" asked Kaede.

"Nope, just most of the time," replied Haruna. "So you're straight then, huh? Mehhhh, I don't buy it. You rock that suit too well to like guys. Maybe you're bi?"

"Have you ever given any thought to training in martial arts?" said Kaede in an attempt to swerve the conversation to a subject that she enjoyed.

"Hm?" asked Haruna. "Oh, uhhhhh... no more or less than anyone else, I guess. I just don't have the discipline needed to follow through with it. Running, PE and library exploring is about as physical as I get. Plus I've got my deadlines to make so I'm constantly strapped for spare time. I'm not overflowing with spare cash to pay for lessons, either."

"I would be happy to teach you the basics in our mutual spare time if you are interested in learning. And at no charge."

"Really? That would be awesome! I'll keep your offer in mind. Wow. I see you in a whole new light now."

Kaede dipped her head and pouted.

"You certainly know how to hurt a ninja's feelings."

Haruna was confused by Kaede's sentence. Once she understood that Kaede was making a play on words, she smiled and Kaede returned that smile.

"Oh!" exclaimed Haruna. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one! I had to think about that one for a while. You know something, Kaede, this might just be my surplus awesome sauce talking but I think that you're much better suited to the task of protecting Konoka."

"Thank you very much for the vote of confidence, Haruna-dono. You have an unusual way about you... but I can tell that you also have a kind heart and that is what counts." Kaede bowed and Haruna returned the bow.

"Well, _I_ like to think so," said Haruna with a big smile. Haruna put her arm over Kaede's shoulder and drew her closer to speak into her face. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be _attracted_ to Konoka by any chance, would you?"

_This again_, thought Kaede.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.

"It's just a little something I want to clear up before you become too comfortable with your new job. Have you got the hots for Konoka?"

"Konoe-dono is a good friend but I don't think of her as anything more than a friend," said Kaede as she slowly unwrapped Haruna's arm from her shoulder. "But even if I did, 'twould would be unprofessional for a bodyguard to act on such feelings for her charge."

"Good answer!" said Haruna. "That's a really good answer! You'd be surprised by how many ex-bodyguards there are out there that don't possess your keen sensibilities, Kaede. You're ahead of the game."

"Thank you again."

"Just so you know, _I_ think of Konoka as more than a friend. Way more, as a matter of fact." Haruna smiled proudly and rocked back and forth from heel to toe. "She and I are girlfriends."

Kaede hesitated before answering Haruna.

"I see," said Kaede.

Haruna's smile disappeared. The delay in Kaede's reply made Haruna suspicious.

"What do you mean 'I see'?" asked Haruna. She gasped as she answered her own question. "_You_ don't be_lieve_ me. _You_ think this is all part of a hoax from what was said to the class yesterday, don't you?"

Kaede chuckled as she shook her head and held her hands up.

"Haruna-dono, it is not my place to-"

"_**Bup**__-bup-bup-bup_-bup," spat Haruna in order to silence Kaede. "If that's the way you want to be, then that's fine with me. **I'll** tell you what your 'place' is, Kaede. Your 'place' is making sure that no one hurts Konoka Konoe, who _is_ my **girlfriend**. As long as you remember that and you're really not going to hit on Konoka, you and I will get along as well as we need to and no more. For Konoka's sake, I'll try to put your insult behind us."

Kaede felt that Haruna wasn't telling her anything that she didn't already know and so she simply held her tongue and allowed Haruna to continue speaking.

_How long does it take you to get dressed, Konoe-dono?_ wondered Kaede.

"Say, Kaede," said Haruna. "As Konoka's significant other, I'd _also_ be under your protection, right?"

"I... can see no reason why I _shouldn't_ protect anyone from harm if the need arose."

Haruna raised an eyebrow.

"You _could_ be a little more enthusiastic about the idea, you know," she said. "So, hypothetically speaking, if I was suddenly attacked by someone armed with... _ohhhhhhhh_, I don't knowwwww... sayyyyyy, a _no-dachi_, you'd protect me?"

"I would."

_This just keeps getting better and better_, thought Haruna.

"With your life?" asked Haruna.

"To the best of my ability," said Kaede. "I would protect Konoe-dono with my life."

"Eh, I'll take it," said Haruna with a shrug. Now that she had some limited Setsuna insurance, she decided to see what else she could get out of Kaede. "Okay, let's say that I snuck up behind some Ursula High snobs and flipped their skirts for a goof. If they tried to kick my ass, would you protect me?"

A sweat drop ran down the back of Kaede's head.

"I... suppose that I would, hypothetically," said Kaede, "but I would prefer that you not antagonize _anyone_, Haruna-dono. Let us not forget that my chief duty is to protect Konoka-dono from harm and, by extension, you. That duty does not grant you a license to stir up trouble. Dealing with the enemies you have made would only serve to distract me from my chief duty; a duty which you have just stated is of the utmost importance."

Haruna was crestfallen but she had to admit that Kaede had a point.

"I guess you're right," said Haruna.

The door to Konoka's room opened and an appropriately dressed Konoka walked out, closing the door behind her.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," said Konoka in a mostly monotone voice.

"Now then," said Haruna to Kaede as she placed her arm around Konoka. "We were about to go on a morning jog so be a good bodyguard and accompany us to make sure we're safe."

"I would be happy to join you on your jog, Haruna-dono," said Kaede. "Please allow me a moment to change into my gym clothes and sneakers."

"Gym clothes? How is that professional? No, I think you should stay in your suit. Don't you agree, Kono-chan?"

"Uh-huh," said Konoka.

"There, see?" asked Haruna. "Konoka says she wants you to keep your suit on."

"A-As you wish, Konoe-dono," said Kaede with a bow. Haruna stuck her tongue out at Kaede but quickly slid it back in her mouth before Kaede rose from her bow.

"Besides," said Haruna, "it makes you look very swanky in a jet setting über dyke sort of way."

"Über _what?_" asked Kaede.

"Besides, our planned route is only two miles."

"_Two miles?_" Kaede cringed at the thought of running such a distance and needlessly sweating up her suit so early in the day.

"Sorry, my mistake," said Haruna. "It's not two miles. I didn't take the trip _back_ into account. It would be _four_ miles total. That's a nice healthy distance to run, wouldn't you say, Kono-chan?"

"Uh-huh," said Konoka vacantly. "The fresh world will do me a good of air."

"Uhhhhh... come again?" asked Haruna.

"The good do will world me an air of fresh."

"Aeu-_kayyy_yyyyy... why don't we head on out now?"

The three friends began their walk to the stairwell when Haruna suddenly skidded to a halt.

"Oops, wait up, you two," said Haruna as she reached into her jacket pocket and shook the bag she removed from it. "I forgot to leave Red Rover her taiyaki. Kono-chan, toss me your keys and I'll leave them behind."

Konoka nodded and threw Haruna her keychain, an automatic act that held more symbolism than she cared to dwell on.

Haruna quickly unlocked the door and entered the room. Asuna was still asleep, laying on her side and facing the wall. Taking no more than a few steps inside, she tossed the bag at Asuna's bed. It landed on the mattress beside Asuna's heels. Haruna hadn't crimped the bag shut before throwing it and the momentum caused more than half of them to slide out of the bag; at least one of them fell on the floor. After the way Asuna spoke to her while Konoka was taking a bath last night, Haruna didn't care if every last one of Asuna's taiyaki got smashed to bits.

* * *

><p>"Paru," said Asuna, "you're dating one of my best friends. I don't know how it happened but you've made her very happy. And that makes <em>me<em> very happy."

Haruna closed her eyes and grinned.

"_I'm_ pretty happy about it myself," she said.

"Oh, good," said Asuna glibly. "And yet, by the same token, you've made _another_ one of my friends very sad. That doesn't only make _me_ very sad. That also makes me very **angry**. If you hadn't provided me with an equal amount of happiness, you'd be in a lot of trouble right now. See, you're riding a very fine line; thinner than a strand of spider silk. You're not completely on my good side and if you were on my bad side, you'd know it."

"Oh, really?" asked Haruna, her eyes a pair of small circles.

"Yes, really. As a gesture of good will, I've decided to give you something: a warning. You'd better keep your balance while riding this fine line for as long as humanly possible... because if you fuck this up..." Asuna's eyes narrowed as she gave Haruna the kind of murderous scowl that she usually reserved for Negi when he accidentally caused her to lose her clothes. "...**I will ohhhhh-sooooo-fuck you up.** I will knock you from pillar to post. I will pummel you so badly that you won't be able to take enough air in your lungs to beg me for the mercy I wouldn't show you for a trillion yen. No one will hear you holler 'STOP'. You've seen me in combat. You know I can bring the owies like nobody's business and that the strongest golem in your artifact can't even slow me down. In fact, I'd say that the only hard part about my beatdown will be beating Setsuna to the punch. I had very little respect for you before you infected Konoka with your venom and I have even less respect for you now... so, should it become necessary to beat the crap out of you, not only will I do so without hesitation but it will even have the bonus effect of making me happy again." Asuna wore a pleasant grin that was in sharp contrast to the violent threats that came from her mouth. "_Happy_... happy... **happy**." Asuna held her hands out for Haruna to see. "Look at me; I'm shaking just thinking about it."

"Y-You and me both," said Haruna, swallowing to moisten her dry throat.

"But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you visit Konoka in my room," said Asuna. "Just be good to her, don't get naked or make out when I'm around... and you and I will be BFFs. But if you should mistreat her... or break up with her on anything less than the best of terms... well, then I guess you could _probably_ make a decent chunk of change selling all of your skirts, pants and panties."

"What?" asked Haruna. "Why would I sell my skirts, pants and panties?"

Asuna grinned and gave Haruna a hearty slap on her upper arm that stung.

"**Because your ass will belong to me**," said Asuna. She punctuated her final comment with a demon's smile.

* * *

><p><em>Hearing me holler 'stop'<em>, thought Haruna as she drummed her fingers against her chin. _Why does that sound so familiar?_

Haruna shrugged off the question and went back out into the hall, slamming the door behind her harder than a considerate person would have.

Asuna grumbled and met her morning the same way she did every morning: with a groan. She slowly kicked off her blankets as she rolled from her original position of lying on her side to lying flat on her back.

Asuna's eyes shot open. She felt something moist on the heel of her left foot. She brought her left foot closer to her body, rested in on her right knee and touched her heel with her right hand. She was surprised to discover that a strange mushy substance was now on her fingers. She brought her hand to her face and smelled it, hoping that she wouldn't regret doing so. She instantly recognized the scent as that of bean paste. As bean paste was not a naturally occurring substance in her bed, she quickly turned on her bedside gooseneck lamp, sat up and removed her blanket to inspect her mattress. To her confusion, she found golden brown crumbs along with red bean paste smashed into her sheets and covering her heel along with the hem of her left pajama pant leg.

Then she saw something that made her heart stop.

There, at the foot of her bed, was a small golden brown horse head staring back at her. She quickly bent her lamp to aim its light toward the bottom bunk and she bent over the side of her bed to see if either Konoka or Haruna were still there. They were not.

Asuna sat up and looked at the horse head once more. She was in tears, horrified by what it represented.

Breakfast was store bought.

Asuna screamed over and over again.

* * *

><p>The thought process of Chisame Hasegawa, while constantly in flux, was always grounded in reality. She seldom wasted time dwelling on things that were beyond her control. This morning was an exception.<p>

_I hate having to rely on public transportation for my commute to school,_ thought Chisame as she waited for the dozens of other Mahora students to deboard the train car first so that she didn't get trampled or groped._ Iincho-san must be out of her blond mind to take the train to school with the rest of us when she can afford to have a chauffeur pick her up in a limousine every morning and afternoon. I should ask Negi-sensei to just start summoning me from the dorm so that I don't have to get up so damned early and then run with the lemmings to get in on time. Meh, never mind; now that I think about it, going that route comes with its own set of problems. I just know that he'll find some way to mess up a simple thing like teleportation – and I'm sure it will lead to an embarrassing situation for me. Always me! Why me? Why has that twerp never lost his clothing from botching a spell? He's seen my premium content more times than I care to think about and I've only ever seen that little wand of his once! And I didn't even really get a good long look at it, either. Not that I actually wanted a good long look at it, per se, but it figures that the one time I saw it, he wasn't in Nagi mode. Does he even grow up all over when he's in disguise? He'd have to, right? Oh, great, Chisame, just great. Nothing says 'successful net idol on the right track in life' like thinking about shrimp cocktail. God, I wish I was old enough to walk into an adult novelty store and get what I need. The real deal is more trouble than it's worth. I could have one sent to me in the mail but I just know that when it arrives, that'll be the day when someone threatens to bomb Mahora and then Negi will open my package to find that. I can see it clear as day! I'm not giving anyone the chance to screw me over! I'm too smart for that!_

Chisame exited the train and noticed a platinum white metallic booth with a sign above it which read: PULL CORD FOR JAPAN'S MOST POPULAR NET IDOL.

_The hell? 'Japan's most popular net idol'? __That's got to Net Idol Chiu, of course. Is the screen supposed to reveal a slideshow of my photos? I didn't give anyone permission to use my copyrighted images in an official capacity... and while booths like these are gimmicky and outdated, the flatscreen does look kind of slick. Its quality is too high for a company without money to manufacture. Uh-oh, scary thought: what if it's __**not**__ me? What if whoever made this booth chose someone else? No, that's crazy talk. My site's hits are through the roof. How could they possibly sign someone else and promote them as "Japan's Most Popular Net Idol" when my numbers don't lie? That's ridiculous. What basis would they have for bypassing me and going with some other girl? I'm the undisputed queen of the internet; you don't talk to the __**duchess**__ before you've talked to the queen. I'd be willing to negotiate if I was approached by a talent agency or some major corporation with an endorsement deal or something but I didn't get so much as an email asking me if I was interested. The nerve of them! Wait, what time is it? Yikes, I don't have time to watch a video. But this is too important to ignore. Did they think that I wouldn't find out about this? There's too much at stake here to walk away from this now! I'm going to contact a lawyer! The title of Japan's Most Popular Net Idol is mine! Sure, I may have cheated a little with my artifact here and there to keep that number one spot... but I did __**reach**__ it on my own. That's got to count for something, right? If that flatscreen's got images of me, I'm owed money... and if it's not me, then I'm going to demand that they either drop that "Japan's Most Popular Net Idol" billing or I'll sue them for every yen they've got! But first, I need proof._

Chisame stepped into the booth purposefully and took out her phone. She set it to record and then tugged on the cord handle. Without warning, the door slammed shut behind her. Chisame pocketed her phone and turned around, wondering what had just happened. She tried opening the door but found it was locked. She pounded on the door with her fist but everyone had left the station to head to school. There was a terrible rumbling that rattled the booth and it was louder than a freight train. For a moment, Chisame feared that it was an earthquake. An explosion of billowing smoke surrounded the booth's windows and Chisame could feel that the booth was rising above ground level. A pair of handles lowered from the ceiling within Chisame's reach and she hung on for dear life. Beams of sunlight waved across Chisame's face as the booth slowly turned to a 90 degree angle in relation to its original upright position.

The screen powered on and Chachamaru's image was on it.

"H-Hello, Chisame-san," said Chachamaru nervously.

"Chachamaru?!" asked Chisame. "What _is_ this?! What the hell is going on?!"

"You are in no immediate danger, Chisame-san. Please calm yourself."

"_Calm myself?_" Chachamaru cringed when she heard Chisame shout at her. "I'm trapped in a rocket powered booth flying about two hundred meters above the school grounds and you're telling me to calm myself? Why don't you do something to **help** me, you stupid robot?!"

"F-For the time being, I cannot grant your wish, Chisame-san. My master and I have need of you... and since she has little patience for disagreeable humans, it would be in your best interests to cooperate without question."

Chisame knew that while she could get away with mouthing off at Chachamaru, the Dark Evangel would not be nearly as indulgent.

"Furthermore," continued Chachamaru, "please do not attempt to use your artifact to gain control of the booth as doing so might disrupt the homing signal receiver, causing the booth to deviate from its flight path and crash land on school grounds, killing you in the process."

"You call THAT no immediate danger?" asked Chisame. "What does Evangeline-san want with me, anyway?"

"Are you... c-certain that you wish to know now?"

"_Of __**course**__ I'm certain that I wish to know now!_ If I'm going to be kidnapped, I think I have a right to know why!"

"P-Please do not think of it as a kidnapping, Chisame-san."

"Am I being brought to an unknown location against my will despite my request to be released?"

"That would seem to be an accurate description of the situation, yes."

"Then how should I **not** think of this as a kidnapping?"

"P-P-Please do not be upset with me, Chisame-san." Chachamaru bowed repeatedly to Chisame. "I did not ask for this. That is, I did but it was not intentional. I have no desire to cause you any stress. You were the first person that came to mind so, technically, your abduction is... entirely my fault."

"Huh? _What's_ entirely your fault?"

"That is, I told my master that I wanted the complete motherhood experience but I merely assumed that she would begin the exercise at a _post-conception_ stage. I must remember to ask Hakase-san to upgrade my assumption software manually. I assumed that it would upgrade automatically as updates became available... which goes to show how self-defeating the program is. Garbage in, garbage out, as they say. Perhaps Hakase-san can install an error freshener for this code smell."

Chachamaru smiled awkwardly and hoped that her jokes would put Chisame at ease.

"stupidrobot-dot-ee-ex-ee has encountered a problem and needs to shut the hell up for a second," said Chisame. "What was that about motherhood?"

Chachamaru ground her teeth, hesitant to share what she knew.

"Chachamaru," said Chisame in a condescending tone, "what does Evangeline-san want with me exactly? Tell me now."

"W-Well," said Chachamaru, "th-there is some good news... a-and some bad news. W-Which would you prefer to hear first?" Chachamaru tapped her index fingers together.

"The bad news," said Chisame. "I _always_ want the bad news first."

"Y-You are to be the... f-father of... my child," she said as she closed her eyes and blushed.

Chisame's mouth hung open slightly as she processed Chachamaru's words but heard nothing that made any sense. Asking the robot for further details would only cause her more pain. It was no surprise to Chisame that she was once again about to suffer as a result of Chachamaru's poor decision making abilities.

"Of all the stupid..." Chisame facepalmed and let out a ragged sigh. She wanted to leave bad enough alone but since her luck could only get worse, there was little reason to turn away good fortune, no matter how small. "I should know better than to ask this... and I'm almost certain that I'm going to regret asking... but what's the good news? And before you answer, keep in mind that... Chachamaru, look at me... keep in mind that if this good news of yours doesn't make me deliriously happy, I am going to wind you so hard and so fast, you'll think that you're part helicopter."

Chachamaru trembled and tapped her index fingers together even faster. She didn't have any good news for Chisame that was even close to the magnitude which she indicated she wanted and so she decided to improvise. A quick online search turned up something which Chachamaru believed would make Chisame happy to hear.

"W-Well... The g-good news is... ah-_ha_-ha-ha-ha... the good news is... that you are currently... Japan's most popular net idol."

Chisame's eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"EHHHHH?"

This was no more a piece of news to Chisame than her own name was.

"W-We shall speak again when you arrive," said Chachamaru as she reached for a button at a nearby console. "In the meantime, p-please enjoy your flight, Chisame-san. Good-bye."

Having politely said her farewell, Chachamaru powered down the monitor on her end, leaving Chisame with nothing but her confusion and her anger to keep her company, the latter of which had caused Chisame's face to turn what medical science would classify as an unhealthy shade of crimson. She snarled as she reached into her shirt and removed her pactio card from her bra. By this time, the booth was too far from campus to send a telepathic message to Negi or to ask him to summon her. Baring her fangs, she hissed as she filled her lungs with air and prepared to scream.

"ADEAAAAAAAT!"

Chisame repeatedly struck the blank screen with the pommel of her Sceptrum Virtuale as hard as she could. The seven electron sprites quickly materialized and floated in circles around their enraged mistress, crying fountains of tears as they tried to pacify her while avoiding a stray blow.

"Chiu-tama! Please restrain yourself!" begged Hanpe.

"The Sceptrum Virtuale was not meant to be used as a melee weapon, Chiu-tama!" stated Chikuwafu.

"Have mercy, Chiu-tama!" wept Negi. "Your artifact is our home!"

"My WoW account is in there, Chiu-tama!" lamented Daiko.


End file.
